1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on Diric Land. I'd 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose 4 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago, 5 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: in particular the Cama, Eagle and Uruanderie people whose land 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: this podcast was recorded on, and we extend our respect 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: we pay homage to when we tell our stories on 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: Find and Tell. 11 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Jamila Risby. 12 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 3: Welcome back to Find and Tell, the search for the 13 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 3: next generation of Australian storytellers. Each week, our storytellers go 14 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 3: head to head to see who finds and tells the 15 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 3: best story, and every win brings them a step closer 16 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 3: to being crowned the Find and Tell Champion and winning 17 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 3: the grand prize. We've now met all four of our storytellers, Mark, Naar, 18 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 3: Kate and Ben and the competition. 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 2: Is starting to heat up. 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 3: Honestly, I have been blown away by the quality of 21 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 3: the stories that each of them has created so far. 22 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 3: It's genuinely incredible when you remember that they have never made. 23 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 2: Anything like this before. 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 3: Okay, so far Mark and Ben have each taken home 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 3: a win that we. 26 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: Are far from finished. 27 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 3: Today we have a new theme, Forgive and Forget. First 28 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 3: up to tackle the challenge is Mark. 29 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 2: When we last. 30 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,919 Speaker 3: Heard from Mark, he told a really beautiful story about 31 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 3: spirituality and sexuality. 32 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 2: Let's see what story he can find for us this time. Mark, 33 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 2: welcome back to find and tell. 34 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: I am so excited to be back. 35 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 3: Okay, we've done this. We've done this once. It's out 36 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 3: in the world. So you've had that feeling of it's 37 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 3: about to happen, and it's happened. 38 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 2: You're ready to go again. 39 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm so ready. 40 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 3: I think you're ready too. This week's theme is forgive 41 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 3: and Forget, so we're not we're not pulling any punches 42 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 3: forgiven forget. What was your first reaction when you saw 43 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 3: that written on the page? 44 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I fell to the ground. I was sobbing. 45 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 4: No. 46 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: I you know, it's such an interesting topic, interesting theme, 47 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: and I think something that a lot of maybe new 48 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: adults are experiencing, or just anyone in any stage of 49 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: their life, you know, having to let go is such 50 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: a hard thing. Having to feel your emotions and go 51 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: through them is so difficult. So I so many thoughts 52 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: came into my mind when I got the theme. But 53 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 1: I'm excited with how it turned out. I'm so happy 54 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: with how it turned out. 55 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 5: All right. 56 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 3: Well, without further ado, let's hear your second story on 57 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: the theme of forgive and forget, Let's go. 58 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: There are many moments in Australian television history that had 59 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 1: the whole country unbaited breath. We had Kathy Freeman's golden 60 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: run in the two thousand Olympics to the Tillies penalty 61 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: shootout against France. But back in two thousand and three, 62 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: all eyes were on Australian idol. 63 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 4: Has My the Decision? 64 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: The live Grand final amassed over three million viewers. 65 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 5: The winner of Australie Not in Gossip s. 66 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: The debut season alone, tore through our country's music industry, 67 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: setting a new standard and method for the attainment of 68 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: musical fame. If you were too young to remember, idle 69 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: Mania had Australia in a chokehold. This wasn't your run 70 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: of the mill reality TV show. This was why two 71 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: K stardom. It was glitz and glamour and fame and fortune, 72 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: and the contestants became instant superstars. The series itself had 73 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: produced some of Australia's biggest names in the music industry 74 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: Jessica Mowboy, Riki Lee, Matt Korby Milsey. But one contestant 75 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: has lived in the back of my mind since I 76 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: was just eight years old at the time. But I 77 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: still remember that one feetful night in two thousand and three, 78 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: hundreds and thousands of Ossie families gathered around their boxy 79 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: TVs and tenas tuned to Channel ten, hearts pounding brows, sweating, 80 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: palms clenched. 81 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 5: However, Cosma rescently that you would like to say, I'd like. 82 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 6: To thank all my supporters and the Australian public for 83 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 6: believing in me. I've been extremely humbled by the support 84 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 6: that you have shown me. 85 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: Where were you the night Costumer Divito withdrew from Australian Idol. 86 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 6: Unfortunately, I have a temporary condition that's affecting my voice. 87 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 6: It's forced me to make the decision to leave the competition. 88 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: It was the worst case scenario. Costumer Divito, the singer 89 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: adored by everyone, was pulling out of the competition just 90 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: as she was becoming an unstoppable force. Australian Idol is 91 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: once in a lifetime opportunity, and all these years later, 92 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: I still think about it and I think about Costomer. 93 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: Where is she now? 94 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 4: It's so hot, isn't it? Oh my god today? Are 95 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 4: you okay? You look like you're sweating as well. 96 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: Yes, my gorgeous, beautiful sheen because I've got to shut 97 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: off the fan for the recording purposes. That's showbiz, baby, 98 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: I know, I know, yes, that is the Costomer de Vito, 99 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: the legend herself. It was her husky, deep voice that 100 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: caught everyone's attention. During the very first season of Australian Idol. 101 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: She was so popular that she was brought back as 102 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: a wild card after an early knockout. 103 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 7: When I came back as a world card and then 104 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 7: I got into top twelve, it was like go go, Go, 105 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 7: go go. 106 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: However, a hefty run of Belty ballads soon caught up 107 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: to the twenty six year old. 108 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 6: This has been the most difficult decision of my life. 109 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 6: But I'm not sure that I'm going to be able 110 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 6: to give one and that my voice is gonna hold up. 111 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: Costomer still remembers the point in the competition where her 112 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: voice started to slip away. 113 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 7: And then every week I was noticing, what's happening with 114 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 7: my voice is getting really deep. It was there, but 115 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 7: it was just deeper and deeper and deeper. It was 116 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 7: vocal nodules. 117 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: This is every singer's nightmare. Vocal nodules are benign folds 118 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: and lesions that can sometimes grow on your vocal chords. 119 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: It affects both your singing and speaking voice, drastically changing 120 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: your natural vocal tone. Amidst her rise up the ranks, 121 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 1: Cossomo was sent to a doctor who soon confirmed various 122 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: small nodual growths caused by vocal overuse. 123 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 7: You either rest it or you keep going and they 124 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 7: get hard and then you have to have surgery. 125 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 4: And as soon as you said surgery, I'm like Julie Andrews. 126 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 1: Julie Andrews, the songbird slash actress from the famed Sound 127 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,799 Speaker 1: of Music, had surgery to remove vocal nodules in ninety nine. 128 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 7: A routine procedure that I was told would not be 129 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 7: threatening to my vocal cords. 130 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: The procedure scarred her vocal cords and she was never 131 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: able to sing the same again. So at this point, 132 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: Costumer was at a crossroads. She was given an ultimatum, 133 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: leave the competition and heal, or push on and risk 134 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: injuring herself permanently. 135 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 4: No, we're not doing that. It was hard. It was hard. 136 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 4: I was crying when I was reading that speech. 137 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 6: And again, a big, big kiss and hugs to everyone 138 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 6: who's supported me. You have humbled me and I'm forever 139 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 6: grateful for what you've done. 140 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,679 Speaker 1: For Costomer, running the risk of losing her voice forever 141 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: was not an option. In the end, she decided to 142 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: leave Australian Idol to enter a course of recovery that 143 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: would get her back on track, but off the winning one. 144 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: Costumer was a fan favorite and many thought she would win, 145 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: but then her world fell apart, and her hopes and 146 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: aspirations for her singing career soon followed. 147 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 7: Because in that moment, you just feel like your whole 148 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 7: world is crumbling. That's what it felt like in that moment. 149 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 7: That was extremely difficult. The day after I withdrew, I 150 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 7: remember I had to hide out in the hotel because 151 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 7: all the media, it was such a hype after I left, 152 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 7: and for me, I felt like I had lost an opportunity. 153 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: The year after Idole was the hardest for Customer. The 154 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: songshis that hit an all time low, and with her 155 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: future up in the air, she struggled with her sense 156 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: of self. 157 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 7: It took a good year, I think before my head 158 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 7: was on straight. But even then, a lot of reflection, 159 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 7: a lot of mourning. I wasn't able to watch any 160 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 7: singing competition for years, and then that whole year I 161 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 7: had this paranoia that they were going to come back. 162 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 7: So every time I sang as a psychological component that 163 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 7: comes with it also because you feel, oh my god, it's. 164 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 4: Going to come back again. I'm going to lose my 165 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 4: voice again. 166 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: The series finale had taken center stage and for a 167 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: period of time, Costomer was nowhere to be found. While 168 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: everyone wondered where she had gone, the show moved on 169 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 1: without her, and she used this moment of quiet to 170 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: find herself and her voice again. 171 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 7: As soon as I got off the show, it was like, Okay, 172 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 7: I'm in India, Now what's my next step? And that's 173 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 7: when I went, you know what, I had to be 174 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 7: part of the Idol tour. I had to start speech therapy, 175 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 7: so I was doing that twice a week. I was 176 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 7: going to a vocal coach who was familiar with singers 177 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 7: who had nodules, and it was just rehabilitation. It was 178 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 7: just hardcore rehabilitation, no singing, just working on getting it 179 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 7: back to where it was. 180 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: Costomer threw herself into recovery. While she couldn't win this series, 181 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,839 Speaker 1: she hit back stronger during the Top twelve tour. The 182 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: two thousand and four concert was Costumer's return to the 183 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: Australian Idol stage and in their opening group number, she 184 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: was back as a crowd favorite. So after all this, 185 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: where is the diva? Now? What about Costomer? Having recently 186 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,719 Speaker 1: dropped a duet with Nolsey, the indie artist has hot 187 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 1: plans for her music ventures. 188 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 7: It's a project that I've been working on since last year. 189 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 7: I can't say too much at the moment, but I'll 190 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 7: be touring towards the end of the year and it's 191 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 7: very exciting and you need to come. I promise, I 192 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 7: promise you'll love it. I promise, but I'm very excited 193 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 7: about it. 194 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: While there was a hard decision leaving Idol, there was 195 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: no other choice. She took the route that in short, 196 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 1: she would be able to keep singing for the rest 197 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 1: of her life. This was simply a hurdle, one that 198 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: she triumphantly conquered with a lot of time and care. 199 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 7: I love my power ballads. The depressing power ballads are 200 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 7: my thing. I think that's the Italian in me. When 201 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 7: you sing an Italian and you sing an Italian ballad, 202 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 7: it's very different to when you do it in English, 203 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 7: just just so much more passionate, and you know the 204 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 7: words and the lyrics. 205 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 4: It's just different. I absolutely love it, love it. 206 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,719 Speaker 1: When I interviewed Costomer, I was starstruck. We share a 207 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: love for singing, and I too dreamed of being a 208 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: pop star. I mean, who didn't. I couldn't imagine being 209 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,679 Speaker 1: on the rise she was on and then having to 210 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: let that go. When I spoke to Costomer, I was 211 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: taught an important life lesson and it had nothing to 212 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 1: do with music. 213 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 7: The thing I guess that got me through it was 214 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 7: just the It was the old Wise title of you 215 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 7: know everything happens for a reason, because you know, there's 216 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 7: a reason why you weren't meant to go all the way, 217 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 7: There's a reason why this has happened. 218 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 4: I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't met my daughter. 219 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 7: You know, being an independent artist has been incredible. 220 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 4: I've always done what I've wanted to do. 221 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: Do you have a message for any fans who, even 222 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: twenty years on, are still heartbroken over your Australian ad 223 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: or verdicts? I myself included, I'm one of them. 224 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 4: You're gonna make me very emotional just by saying that. 225 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 4: I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank 226 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 4: you from. 227 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 7: The bottom of my heart, even twenty one years on, 228 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 7: that you're all still standing by me. And every time 229 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 7: I post something, you're on social media, You're there. 230 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 4: You're supporting me. 231 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 7: I'm here because of you, and I used to say 232 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 7: that back then. Also, I'm here because you've voted for me, 233 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 7: because you fiercely voted for me and stood by me, 234 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 7: and you're still here today. 235 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 4: I love to sing, but the support that I get 236 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 4: from fans is just beautiful and it's truly truly a gift. 237 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 4: It's truly a gift. 238 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 7: And I thank you from the bottom of my heart 239 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:03,839 Speaker 7: still being here. 240 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you. 241 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: I think sometimes we put too much importance on winning. 242 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 1: What I used to see as a heartbreaking withdrawal, I 243 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 1: now see as the importance of letting go of the 244 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 1: life and a path that's simply not meant for us. Sure, 245 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: in life will miss some chances, but there will always 246 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: be others. 247 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 4: The human spirit's amazing. 248 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 7: Only when you go through the lows can you really 249 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 7: learn about yourself and learn about life and how to 250 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 7: get through it. 251 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 4: Otherwise you don't learn anything. 252 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 7: You have to go through the lows, and it makes 253 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 7: you a different person on the other side of it, 254 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 7: and you wouldn't change that. 255 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 4: When you get to the other side, it's great. It's 256 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 4: just through the storm that's really really hard. I'm forty seven. 257 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 4: I feel like I've let a lot of things go. 258 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 7: When you reach forty it's just like, yeah, kay, I 259 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 7: feel like I'm still learning about myself. 260 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 4: But I am stronger. 261 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 7: I am stronger, and I do know a lot more 262 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 7: than what I did when I was twenty six years old. 263 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: When the time comes and the opportunities you were meant 264 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: for are come your way, there's only one thing we 265 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 1: can do. 266 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 8: We've got to rise, and that through the sky. We've 267 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 8: got to rise over. 268 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 4: Mountain. 269 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 3: Hey, Mark, that was super fun and wild in its 270 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 3: degree of nostalgia. Like I'm still a bit like I 271 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 3: don't think I have thought about Cosmo Divido in a 272 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 3: very long time, but I was equally Australian idol obsessed 273 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 3: that first season. 274 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: Yes, it was iconic, it was it was it. It 275 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: changed the nation, it really did. It swept us away. 276 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 3: I remember borrowing my mum's phone so I could text 277 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 3: vote for twenty cents or whatever it costs me on 278 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 3: a smith. But don't let me get get stuck there. 279 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 3: I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Why 280 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 3: this story? Why do you still think about her? 281 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: So it's really interesting. This episode was meant to go 282 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: in a really different direction. I had some other people 283 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: in mind, but at its core, I really did want 284 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: to talk about this proximity to fame, this proximity to fortune, 285 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: to this like what many people consider to be the 286 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 1: jackpot of success, being so close and then not reaching it, 287 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: not hitting it, not winning, being second best. You know, 288 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: being seen is not good enough. And I think, I 289 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: think we really do just place so much weight into 290 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: success and into what you know, conventional success looks like, 291 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: when really it should be a personal thing. It really 292 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: should be an individual thing. You know, we will win 293 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: and thrive in our own ways, and it won't always 294 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: be winning season one of the streaming modol as we 295 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 1: came to find. 296 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: Were nervous about speaking to a cosma. 297 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a little starstruck. I was very starstark 298 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: speaking to her. But then as we eased into it, 299 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: it was like, no, we're not. This isn't an interview. 300 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: This is two adults having a conversation about the realities 301 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: of life and that things won't always go the way 302 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: that we want it to go, and how that is 303 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: completely fine and completely okay. 304 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 3: You created a great redemption arc, you know, a sense 305 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 3: of hope came through with Costomer's story. Did you have 306 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 3: that episode arc planned out from the beginning? Did you 307 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 3: know where you were going or what did it look 308 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 3: like as it sort of shifted and remolded itself. 309 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: I wanted it to be that she had won in 310 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: her own way, that she had forgiven this incredibly massive, 311 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: big deal that had happened to her, to forget it 312 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: in her own way, not completely disregard it, but to 313 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 1: just let go in her own way and then thrive. 314 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: I wanted that to be the third aspect of that 315 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: forgive and forget theme, because it just it doesn't require 316 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 1: a trophy it doesn't. Winning doesn't require a certain thing. 317 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,919 Speaker 1: It could just be that you are content with your 318 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: life and loving who you are where you are now, 319 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 1: and understanding that there's more of a life to live 320 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: and that there's more to learn. And so yeah, listening 321 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 1: to customer vocalize that and speak that to existence was 322 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: just was so nice to hear. 323 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 4: Mark. 324 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 3: Congratulations, another great episode, and I'm going to do an 325 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 3: extra shout out for the ending there. 326 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 2: Coming out on. 327 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 3: Rise Up, Gosh, you made me feel very, very old. 328 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 3: But then I was like bopping along. You know, I've 329 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 3: got to listen to this for the first time in 330 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,719 Speaker 3: a studio. But I think if I'd been listening to this, 331 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 3: you know, with my EarPods running down the street, I 332 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 3: still would have broken out into a really big, fat 333 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 3: grin hearing that song again. 334 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 2: So thank you forgive me that. 335 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: Of course you're not gone. 336 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 3: That's two stories down for Mark, well done. Kate is 337 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 3: back with her second in Just a Moment. This is 338 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 3: Find and Tell. I'm Jamilla Risby, and this week's theme 339 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 3: is Forgive and Forget. Our next storyteller opened her heart 340 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 3: and revealed to the world the pain behind a really 341 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 3: difficult breakup a stunning story, but she had stiff competition 342 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 3: and didn't quite get the win. So let's hear what 343 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 3: she's made for us this time. 344 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 2: Hey, Kate, welcome back to Find and Tell. 345 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 5: Thanks so much for having me Jamilla. 346 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 3: We're about to hear your second story, but before we 347 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 3: get to that, I want to get to know a 348 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 3: little bit more about you beyond the beautiful vulnerability you 349 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 3: shared with us last week about your breakup. 350 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 2: What do you do for a job? 351 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 9: So I'm actually a visual artist, and so it's been 352 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 9: really cool for me because I think like how you 353 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 9: approach creating art with your hands and how you create art. 354 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 5: For your ears is really different. 355 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 2: How for those of us be on the obvious. 356 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 9: Well, I think for me, a lot of it is 357 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 9: about feeling, and when I'm painting, I really follow colors 358 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 9: and motifs and things. 359 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 5: That feel like home, that feel special. 360 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 9: I think for a long time, when I was creating 361 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 9: like physical art, I thought that I had to paint 362 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 9: in a very particular way, And more recently I've realized 363 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 9: that No, I just love sparkly, tacky things. 364 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 5: So that's what I'm going to focus on. 365 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 9: And so I guess with the creative process, Like for 366 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 9: this podcast, it's super different in terms of how you 367 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 9: piece together a story and how you make things make sense. 368 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 9: But I'm also bringing that essence, like I'm just following 369 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:04,360 Speaker 9: the feelings that I want to explore and little sparkly 370 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 9: things that bring me joy. 371 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 3: To This week's theme is Forgive and Forget. What are 372 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 3: we about to hear? 373 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 9: Yeah, to be honest, this was a really really difficult 374 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 9: podcast episode to create, I think because I have a 375 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 9: really difficult relationship with forgiveness. Yeah, so I saw Forgive 376 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,199 Speaker 9: and Forget and I was like, really, do we have 377 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:31,439 Speaker 9: to forgive and forget? But I guess also when they 378 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,880 Speaker 9: gave us their themes, the intention was that we would 379 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 9: create three separate stories, and so I decided to mess 380 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 9: with the format a little bit. And so this one's 381 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,239 Speaker 9: also about that. 382 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 3: Well, that is your right, my friend, and you get 383 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 3: to throw some glitter at it if you want to. 384 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 3: I can't wait to hear your second contribution to find 385 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 3: and Tell on Forgive and Forget. 386 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 10: I feel like Persian, you can cover this up. Persian 387 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 10: taciness is coming in in a big way. 388 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 5: Oh that's my aesthetic entirely. 389 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 10: It's really just cool now. 390 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 9: That's parasitosif she's one half of the band Vallas Alps, 391 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 9: and I'd originally wanted to talk to her because her 392 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 9: music had a big impact on me during a really 393 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 9: difficult breakup last year, But somehow, maybe because we're both Persian, 394 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 9: within minutes, I was instead pitching her own music video. 395 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 9: So there's my suggestion for a future video clip where 396 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 9: you just get thirty fake Versachi bathrobes and try and 397 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:36,719 Speaker 9: incorporate them. 398 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 10: Yes, that is fantastic. Well, I'm actually working on a 399 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 10: solo project where I'm using music to connect to my 400 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 10: Iranian heritage, so it's indie pop kind of songwriting with 401 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 10: Iranian instrumentation. 402 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 9: When I started listening to Valas Alps, I had no 403 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 9: idea that Parisa was Persian. But as I talked to her, 404 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 9: I realized that we had this shared experience. Both of 405 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 9: our families had actually fled Iran because of the nineteen 406 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 9: seventy nine revolution. 407 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 10: And its stories around the revolution and my family and 408 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 10: life as a migrant. When I think about the music videos, 409 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 10: I always think groups of people wearing something particular. So 410 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 10: the fact that you just said that maybe is linked 411 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,919 Speaker 10: somehow you read it my mind. 412 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,439 Speaker 5: I'll bring the Versati roads. You read the music. 413 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 9: I felt so linked to Parasite in the last year, 414 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 9: even before I knew about our shared heritage and our 415 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 9: love of fake Versati robes, I had thought that we 416 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 9: had this shared experience of heartbreak because one of their songs, 417 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 9: You and I, it really felt like it was written 418 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 9: about my breakup. 419 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 10: It's funny because we have never written, and almost intentionally, 420 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 10: we've never tried to write a traditional breakup or love song. 421 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 10: But we have this rule between us, which is, if 422 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,640 Speaker 10: we write a song and it can be interpreted as 423 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 10: a breakup song, then we've won. Because love and heartbreak 424 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 10: is so inherently human that if a song can invoke 425 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 10: even a little bit of that feeling, then it kind 426 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 10: of connects us all, which is a little bit sad 427 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 10: and strange, but beautiful too. 428 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 9: I guess that's Parasa basically ruining my internal narrative of 429 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 9: her work. But as we talked more, it became clear that, 430 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 9: whether on purpose or not, this album was about heartbreak, 431 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 9: just not in the way that I was experiencing it. 432 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,720 Speaker 10: We wrote this whole album at a time where we 433 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,919 Speaker 10: were really struggling in our friendship, and we'd been friends 434 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 10: for years, but we've been fighting a lot, specifically when 435 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 10: we started to write the album, because it had been 436 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 10: an aque of many years of not listening to each other, 437 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 10: not shining light on each other's strengths in the creative process, 438 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 10: not being true friends at different points, not forgiving each other, 439 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 10: not letting go, and it kind of all built up 440 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 10: into this point while we were working on the album 441 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 10: where we kind of decided either to quit the band 442 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 10: or do mediation. 443 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 9: That friendship was between Parisa and the other half of 444 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 9: valas Alps, David. I'm sorry they chose to do mediation. 445 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 9: They went through weeks of it, wading through their problems 446 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 9: and trying to rebuild their relationship. 447 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 10: We built completely new processes, We learnt a lot about 448 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 10: each other and continued on with writing the album with 449 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 10: that newfound clarity. We ended up being able to finish 450 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 10: the song You and I and realized that You and I, 451 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 10: plus half of the other songs we were working on, 452 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 10: had somehow been a reflection of our tumultuous relationship. 453 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 9: The problem with me it's you. 454 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 3: And. 455 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 9: During the worst moments of my breakup, those lyrics really 456 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 9: spoke to me and they helped me to process my reality, 457 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 9: and now it made sense why. But it also made 458 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 9: me curious about how artists, how musicians like Dallas Alps, 459 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 9: they use their music to process their emotions. 460 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 10: When you're creative, you're vulnerable and you're putting your heart 461 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 10: out on the table. At least for us to be 462 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 10: truly creative means to do that in some way, and 463 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:47,119 Speaker 10: you're showing each other half ideas, new ideas, and when 464 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 10: the relationship wasn't strong, those ideas would be shut down. 465 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 10: There'd be a lot of disappointment. And then when we 466 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 10: worked on our process, the opposite happened, where we were 467 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 10: able to realize how much much good came from creativity 468 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 10: and creating together. 469 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 9: I love hearing about two people who've been able to 470 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 9: rebuild and repair broken friendship and turn things around. 471 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 10: There's a song called turn It Around, and it's about 472 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 10: forgiveness and about that moment where you realize you need 473 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,679 Speaker 10: to do better in a relationship, doesn't matter what the 474 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 10: relationship is, friendship, parent, child relationship, love like a love relationship, 475 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 10: and you're kind of looking for that person and hoping 476 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 10: you're able to turn things around. And it's about forgiveness 477 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 10: and seeking forgiveness, and we realized after mediation that a 478 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 10: lot of that had actually been about us. Obviously, no 479 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 10: relationship is ever going to be perfect, but I think 480 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,960 Speaker 10: what changed for us was that now we have tools 481 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,439 Speaker 10: to deal with the challenges we face, whereas before we 482 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,360 Speaker 10: were just kind of going through the challenges at. 483 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 9: War with each other. To break Parison and David were 484 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 9: able to forgive each other to heal together, and through 485 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 9: that process creates some incredible music which I then listened 486 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 9: to when I was going through my breakup. So of 487 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,679 Speaker 9: course I just had to ask Parisa about what tools 488 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 9: she thought I could try and use to forgive my ex. 489 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:36,920 Speaker 10: Oh. Man, I think there's elements of seeing the other 490 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 10: person in a completely new way that's really hard, and 491 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,159 Speaker 10: I feel like that almost literal shift in the mind, 492 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 10: and it takes constant reminding of who that person could 493 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,959 Speaker 10: be in a positive way so that you can let go. 494 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 10: Because I've realized, even with David, the hardest parts were 495 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 10: showing him love in my brain when I needed to, 496 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,160 Speaker 10: even though it was really hard, so that I could 497 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,359 Speaker 10: let go of something he'd done or that I'd done. 498 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 10: And I can imagine almost the opposite with the heart breakup. 499 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 9: It's really frustrating. But honestly, I don't know if I 500 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 9: can take Paris's advice. I don't know if I can 501 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,360 Speaker 9: let go of my breakup. I don't think I can 502 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 9: find it within me to forgive. I thought it was 503 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 9: because a broken romantic relationship is really different from a 504 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 9: broken friendship. But actually, as we started talking about how 505 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 9: she was exploring her Iranian heritage through her music, something 506 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 9: else clicked. 507 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 5: We do have a shared. 508 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 9: Experience of heartbreak. It's just for a place and not 509 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 9: for a person. 510 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 10: I actually didn't really think about my Iranian heritage at 511 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 10: all growing up until I got to my late twenties 512 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 10: and I had this sudden hit in my heart. I 513 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 10: don't know where it came from where. I just felt 514 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 10: like there was something missing, something I needed to connect to. 515 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 10: And I realized I'd never asked my family about their 516 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 10: stories of leaving Iran, and I'd never asked specific stories 517 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 10: around emotional things like heartbreak during the revolution or what 518 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 10: it felt like to lose a sibling at the hands 519 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 10: of the government. I'd never known those stories. 520 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 5: Until she said those words. 521 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 9: I'd never thought of my family's experience of leaving Iran 522 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 9: as heartbreak, but it is, and it's framed how I've 523 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 9: approached all forms of heartbreak. It's made me believe that 524 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 9: I shouldn't forgive what's happened in Iran or what's happened 525 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 9: in my breakup, and then I definitely shouldn't forget. But 526 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 9: here was Pariser, who had a completely different relationship with forgiveness, 527 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 9: whose family had a similar experience to mine of leaving Iran. 528 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 9: I love the way that Pariser has used her music 529 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 9: to process her heartbreak, both about David but also about Iran. 530 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 10: And the songs are about snippets of these stories me 531 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 10: trying to kind of convey those emotions. So it's been 532 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 10: like the whole in my heart that I was looking 533 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 10: to feel. Honestly, it sounds so cheesy, but it started 534 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 10: to feel. And the longing that I have to know 535 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 10: where I come from has slowly started to kind of ease, 536 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 10: and I feel like a tiny bit more connected. And 537 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 10: it's been such a beautiful process and emotional process. 538 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 9: I think I'm finally ready to give in too, forgiveness, 539 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 9: because I want so deeply for the whole in my 540 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 9: heart to fill, So I'm ready to take Paris's advice, 541 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 9: but first I think I need to start with me. 542 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 9: She said that I have to make a literal shift 543 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 9: in my mind and that it takes constant reminding. So 544 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 9: I just want to say to the future version of 545 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 9: myself that listens back to this, I hope that you're happy. 546 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 5: And that you got that Vasati robe. 547 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 9: I also hope that you've learned to forgive yourself, that 548 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 9: you haven't cut yourself off from your capacity to love 549 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 9: because you're afraid. And I hope that you remember they're 550 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 9: getting through this. It honestly means you can get through 551 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 9: absolutely anything, because that's the one thing I don't want 552 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 9: to forget. 553 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 3: Firstly, I love the reference to the Vasati robes. But 554 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 3: one of the things that struck me listening to that, Kate, 555 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 3: it's what a beautiful artistic sense you have of I 556 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 3: would almost say symmetry between the two episodes we've heard 557 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 3: so far, because in the previous episode where we got 558 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 3: to hear your first piece of work, we got to 559 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,480 Speaker 3: hear all these voice notes about your breakup, so you 560 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 3: all almost were listening to past you, and now here 561 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 3: you are leaving messages for future you. There's some big, 562 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 3: deliberate artistic swings, my friend. When you were making this, 563 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 3: did you have that planned out from the beginning? How 564 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 3: did it start to take shape this episode? 565 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? 566 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 9: So I think I got my three themes and they 567 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 9: just slotted in so nicely with each other, and so yeah, 568 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 9: I did have that that journey in mind, and it 569 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 9: felt really special because for me, it's really it's about 570 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 9: not only me trying to find forgiveness and find a 571 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 9: way to go through that process, but it's also about 572 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 9: creativity and it's also about art, and there's something so 573 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 9: special about creating a podcast that is a creative process 574 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 9: and then exploring some of the ideas that you're thinking 575 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 9: about through that storytelling. 576 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 5: So that felt very special for me. 577 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 578 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 3: I think sometimes for podcasters, particularly new podcasters, music can 579 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 3: be a bit of an afterthought. You know, you tell 580 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 3: the story, you make the thing, and then you're like, oh, 581 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 3: I got to shove some music on it. Different case 582 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 3: for this one, even if that was your approach, right, 583 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,360 Speaker 3: because you've got this bank of music to work with, 584 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 3: how did you go or about making those decisions? 585 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 9: Basically, in the interview, I asked her if she would 586 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 9: feel comfortable with us using some of ouris Alps's music 587 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 9: in the episode because for me, it's so deeply emotional 588 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,239 Speaker 9: and it's so deeply connected to how I felt at 589 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 9: these particular moments, and so I wanted to create that 590 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 9: for the audience too. 591 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,880 Speaker 2: Is there anything you change listening back to it now. 592 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 9: I think I'm always a bit nervous talking about Iran, 593 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 9: To be completely frank, I mean there's two parts to that. 594 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 9: I think one is like, I'm biracial, so I'm half 595 00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 9: Australian and I'm half Irni, and so anytime I talk 596 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 9: about that experience of being Persian, there is a small 597 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 9: part of me that has like a little bit of 598 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,320 Speaker 9: imposter syndrome about like whether I should be taking up 599 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,800 Speaker 9: space talking about this experience that isn't mine but is mine. 600 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 9: So there's that element. But also talking about this story 601 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 9: does impact how safe I would feel going back to Iran. 602 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 9: The political situation in Iran is very uncertain and can 603 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 9: be quite dangerous if you speak up against the government. 604 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 9: And so even now, when I was listening back, I 605 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,239 Speaker 9: was like, oh, gosh, what impact does this have for 606 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 9: me in my future? 607 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,360 Speaker 10: That's a lot to carry. 608 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 9: Yeah, it is. But I think also like if you 609 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,000 Speaker 9: don't talk about it. That's part of the problem. 610 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,800 Speaker 2: Thank you, Kate, Thanks for having Michama. 611 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,160 Speaker 3: So who told the best forgive and Forget story. I'm 612 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 3: going to share my decision with the winner in just 613 00:34:54,719 --> 00:35:05,359 Speaker 3: a moment. This is fine and tell, and the theme 614 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 3: this week was forgive and forget. Mark's episode was a 615 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 3: whole lot of fun, especially for someone who absolutely grew 616 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 3: up living for Australian idol and was personally devastated when 617 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 3: Cosuma had to leave. I think it was entertaining, and 618 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,760 Speaker 3: it was nostalgic, and we had a really strong tie 619 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 3: to the theme. Mark's episode would have benefited from spending 620 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 3: some more time at the start setting up the stakes. 621 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 3: I think if you weren't an idle nerd back in 622 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 3: the early noughties, you might have been wondering why it 623 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 3: was such a big deal that Cosuma left, and I 624 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 3: think he could have bridged that gap by telling us 625 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 3: why he was so personally invested in her and spending 626 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,120 Speaker 3: a little bit more time audio time on helping us 627 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:53,720 Speaker 3: get invested too. Moving to Kate's episode, Kate's storytelling strength 628 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 3: really shines through in all of her episodes. I loved 629 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 3: the theming that she seems to be setting up for us, 630 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:04,360 Speaker 3: maybe because in this episode she left a message to 631 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,320 Speaker 3: a future version of herself, and last episode, if you remember, 632 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,440 Speaker 3: we heard from past Kate with all of the audio notes, 633 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 3: speaking to her friend AJ about her breakup. Kate's abilities 634 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,719 Speaker 3: as a really natural storyteller are really evident in the 635 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 3: way that she helped all of us as the listeners 636 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,000 Speaker 3: care about Parissa, toss If and Vallas Alps even if 637 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:25,959 Speaker 3: we didn't know who they were. 638 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 2: That takes real skill. 639 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 3: It's easy to get invested and focused on a band 640 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 3: that you love or a singer that you love, but 641 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,359 Speaker 3: if you've never heard of someone, it's hard to care 642 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 3: about them quickly, and Kate's helped us to achieve that. 643 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 3: If I had any suggestions for Kate for future is 644 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,680 Speaker 3: to just make sure she focuses on a single theme. 645 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 3: This week, it was very much a story of a breakup, 646 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,160 Speaker 3: but then when we got more of Kate's family life 647 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 3: and her family history in Iran, I then kind of 648 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 3: wanted to hear that story and it was hard to 649 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 3: come back again to Parissa and the breakup. So she 650 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,280 Speaker 3: just needs to be a bit distinct which story she tells, 651 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 3: But honestly, I would have listened to both of them. 652 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 3: After hearing both stories, I have decided who the winner 653 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,880 Speaker 3: is this week. Kate, Congratulations, you are this week's winner. 654 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 5: That's so exciting, Dalla. 655 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:20,960 Speaker 9: I feel like I should have brought us the Sadi 656 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,719 Speaker 9: bathrobes to wear in celebration. 657 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 2: I mean, I might take the win back conditional win. 658 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,840 Speaker 3: So it turns out that making a decision every week, folks, 659 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,959 Speaker 3: is not getting any easier. But you're allowed to argue 660 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 3: with me. You're allowed to make the case for who 661 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 3: you think I should have chosen. Get in touch and 662 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 3: follow along at find and Tell dot com dot AU. 663 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,799 Speaker 3: Don't miss our next episode. Just press follow in your 664 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,279 Speaker 3: podcast app as we draw closer to. 665 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,600 Speaker 2: Crowning our Find and Tell Champion. 666 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:02,680 Speaker 3: Find and Tell is a coproduction between iHeart Australia and 667 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,600 Speaker 3: the black Cast podcast network. Black Cast empowers First Nations 668 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 3: people and people of color to reclaim their narratives, strengthen 669 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 3: cultural identity, and contribute to a more inclusive Australia by 670 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 3: showcasing exciting emerging talent from Australian communities.