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Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast Mini but when

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Speaker 1: you're in a rash Well. Adam Sandler's kids have written

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Speaker 1: his acceptance speech at the twenty twenty two Gotham Awards today,

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Speaker 1: really really funny stuff. He effectively got up there and

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Speaker 1: just said, look, I couldn't be bothered writing the speech.

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Speaker 1: I told my kids this, and my kids were like,

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Speaker 1: you're a lazy sack of pop. We'll write your speech

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Speaker 1: for you. His' kids by the way, So Sadie and

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Speaker 1: Sonny sixteen and fourteen. So they wrote the speech for him,

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Speaker 1: and then Adam got up and he read the speech

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Speaker 1: word for word.

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Speaker 2: First off, we would like to begin by apologizing for

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Speaker 2: Daddy's disturbingly unkept beard. He is under the illusion it

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Speaker 2: hads the Hamburger grease covered flesh waves of his triple chin.

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Speaker 3: Good stuff, really good stuff.

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Speaker 1: I love Will. It's the mind. I love the minds

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Speaker 1: of kids. I think kids write some pretty incredible stuff.

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Speaker 1: This story immediately made me think of a story that

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Speaker 1: I wrote when I was between the age of eight

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Speaker 1: and ten. I recently refound this. My mum kept all

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Speaker 1: of my schooling stuff in this huge fol folder. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: and she recently gave it to me and I found

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Speaker 1: this story that I wrote when I was eight, and effectively,

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Speaker 1: in this story, I was a bee in a hive

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Speaker 1: with my mum and the entire story, I'm scared of

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Speaker 1: the beekeeper because I think the beekeeper is going to

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Speaker 1: try and chop my head off.

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Speaker 3: This is the story.

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Speaker 1: The story goes on. I don't think at eight I

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Speaker 1: was doing metaphors in my stories. Well, story goes on. Basically,

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Speaker 1: Mum does get her head chopped off by the beekeeper,

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Speaker 1: which is obviously horrific. But then my response to that

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Speaker 1: as the bee is to go, huh, I'll show him

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Speaker 1: and I get Mum's head.

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Speaker 3: You get her head her, you capitate it.

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Speaker 1: I get her decapitated beehead. I put it in the honey,

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Speaker 1: and then when the beekeeper comes to collect this honey,

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Speaker 1: it's like, ha ha, you're eating honey with my mum's

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Speaker 1: head in it. That's what I wrote as an eight

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Speaker 1: year old. Can you imagine how rattled my parents were

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Speaker 1: when they saw that story, Like.

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Speaker 3: How does that parent teach your interview? Go start with

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Speaker 3: that dark twisted bees Before.

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Speaker 4: I had a very weird obsession that for me would

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Speaker 4: be a that would be a that would be a

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Speaker 4: private meeting that reading a story like that.

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Speaker 1: Have to be right, Yeah, it's dark anyway, your examples

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Speaker 1: don't have to be dark. But thirteen one o six

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Speaker 1: five years our number? What did your kid write?

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Speaker 3: You took your mom's decapitated heads. There's a lot to

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Speaker 3: take in there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I know I was eight when I

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Speaker 1: wrote this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah eight.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, let you sit on that so much. But what

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Speaker 1: did your kid write?

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Speaker 3: Or draw?

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Speaker 1: So they came home with something, they wrote something or

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Speaker 1: drew something, and you were like, what.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't have to be dark? Please could be dark.

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Speaker 2: Dark? That's enough.

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Speaker 3: Five what's your kid write? We'll take you out next.

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Speaker 3: What did your child write?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Or draw?

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Speaker 3: I'll take a drawing?

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Speaker 1: And the ones were after here are the ones where

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Speaker 1: you're just like, how did that pop into your head?

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Speaker 1: Whether it's dark, whether it's funny. Mine before the song

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Speaker 1: maybe a little bit too dark. But I was an

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Speaker 1: eight year old kid. I don't know what was going

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Speaker 1: through my head. But if you want to hear it,

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Speaker 1: go to the podcast, but take home points. So I

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Speaker 1: wrote a story where I was a bee, my mum

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Speaker 1: lost her head as a bee, and then as revenge

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Speaker 1: to the bee career who chopped her head off.

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Speaker 3: I put her head you fed her to him?

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I put her head in his honey.

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Speaker 3: And then he was like, there do your mom's decavitated head? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight.

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Speaker 1: I wrote that when I was eight.

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Speaker 3: I think I be for that.

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Speaker 4: I reckon if you sat down a ton of therapists

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Speaker 4: that story, that'd be Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I'll keep that quiet for a few more weeks with

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Speaker 1: the therapist. Let's go to tenure here, she might book

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Speaker 1: in a double session tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: Ten you're a.

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Speaker 1: Teacher's aide and a kid in year three wrote something.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so I was marking their homework and I have

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Speaker 6: to use my best spelling words sentence.

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Speaker 5: One of the spelling words.

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Speaker 6: Was carefully the kid grot. She carefully placed the bomb

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Speaker 6: on the teacher's chair.

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Speaker 3: Wow, thanks to the call ten.

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Speaker 4: Oh, you'd have to be careful though wise Yeah, no, fair,

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Speaker 4: good use of the word yeah, perfect use of the word.

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Speaker 1: Got to be with the bomb.

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Speaker 3: Those bees. Mate Lisa's called.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi Lisa, what did your son draw?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 5: I had he was five years old in kindergarten. I

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Speaker 5: got called up to the to the teacher for a

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Speaker 5: very private meaning. She was quite distressed, and she said,

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Speaker 5: I really really need to talk to you about something

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Speaker 5: that Alex did in school today. And I said, I try,

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Speaker 5: I'm think him the worst, you know. And she called

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Speaker 5: me over and she showed me a picture of her

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Speaker 5: drawn his penis. So but then, did you want a

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Speaker 5: speech bubble coming out of it saying you shook me

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Speaker 5: all night long?

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Speaker 3: Wait? How old was? How old?

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Speaker 2: It was five?

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Speaker 5: She was all flushed and embarrassed and stress and I

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Speaker 5: had to turn away in mine turn my baby. She

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Speaker 5: was only I had to turn my back on her

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Speaker 5: and absolutely stop myself from cracking up laughing.

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Speaker 4: Gat stuff play So you can have yourself a double

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Speaker 4: pass to Hoarts the extreme screen the next trip to

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Speaker 4: the movie. It's going to not come for your at

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Speaker 4: Hotz book, your requin of seats now, gee whiz, oh

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Speaker 4: that's good.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to Emily here hard to be the talking doodle.

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Speaker 1: But Emily, what did your child rides?

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Speaker 5: Hi?

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Speaker 6: How are you? She didn't write, She just.

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Speaker 5: Said to me.

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Speaker 6: One day I was laying on the couch and she

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Speaker 6: came over to me and said, Mommy, I want to

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Speaker 6: cut your face off and put it on my face

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Speaker 6: so I can have you with me forever.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god's.

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Speaker 6: Pretty safe to say that. I didn't really sleep that

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Speaker 6: well that night, no doubt. Yeah, I didn't really know

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Speaker 6: what to how to respond to that, actually, because.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of beautiful as well, right, like a creepy way.

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Speaker 4: I wanted you to decapitate his mum and faded to

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Speaker 4: a beekeeper. Emily, you're gonna meself a seriously red double pass,

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Speaker 4: seriously red in cinemas.

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Speaker 5: Now, no, you're done with that? Why not?

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Speaker 1: Check out more from Willen Woody on The Full Show

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Speaker 1: podcast