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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry.

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Speaker 1: Get a. It's lolls here. I've got a bit of

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Speaker 1: a crush, a girl crush on this next guest. It's

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Speaker 1: mikaylab Bannis and she's a very talented Australian actress or

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Speaker 1: do we say actress or actor? Either way, she is

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Speaker 1: absolutely phenomenal film, television, theater actor. The thing that I

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Speaker 1: love most about Mikayla is she works hard, but she

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Speaker 1: just loves what she does, and it's that kind of

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Speaker 1: passion that is kind of it's like you just want

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Speaker 1: more of her. And I found me kind of checking

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Speaker 1: the clock at the end of the potty, going, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I could keep talking to you. So I

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Speaker 1: nerded out a bit because as you might know, I

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Speaker 1: love acting as well, so I was kind of like

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Speaker 1: a kidney candy staw and just soaking up as much

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Speaker 1: as I can from Michayla. I hope you love this

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Speaker 1: potty because it was such a joy to make okay.

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Speaker 1: I am so excited, slash a bit nervous. I just

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Speaker 1: seen an insert story in my car and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this next person, so it is Mikayla Bannis. She's an

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Speaker 1: incredible actress. I found out when I went down the

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Speaker 1: rabbit hole of googling YouTube and you singer. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: saw a few old videos. You don't have to pretend

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Speaker 1: they were freaking old, so good. But I'm of the

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Speaker 1: era of growing up with the Cloud's daughters. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you get that a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all the time, which is alive.

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Speaker 1: And then on YouTube they were like fan made what

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Speaker 1: was your character called Kate man Freddy man Freddy and

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Speaker 1: that and like all these little like and it was

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Speaker 1: before YouTube, I think was a thing when the old

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Speaker 1: fan videos where like a beautiful picture of you will

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Speaker 1: like fade into another beautiful picture to.

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Speaker 2: Like there's a lot of cross fading, cross fading, that's

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Speaker 2: various songs.

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Speaker 1: It's adorable.

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Speaker 2: So because people took time to make these videos back

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Speaker 2: when that wasn't what was done, you know they didn't.

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Speaker 1: It's incredible. It's adorable. That's where I know you from

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Speaker 1: to the point that we met what about a year ago,

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Speaker 1: i'd say, yeah, it would be banging. A year ago,

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Speaker 1: and I remember telling my boyfriend that we were both

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Speaker 1: on stage. County was like, are you serious? She's amazing,

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Speaker 1: so Matt, my boy, this is going to be like yes,

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Speaker 1: that's so nice.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: And I was byn away when I met your and

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Speaker 1: do you not blew me away? The most about you?

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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know if I can handle this,

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Speaker 2: all these compliments. To be honest, man, get you ship.

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Speaker 1: I have to have any sip of my child. Please

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Speaker 1: did make a sound effect. This is to give a visual.

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Speaker 1: Here we go. I was way slurpier than I had intended.

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Speaker 1: But this little tea cup is probably toddless. It's for children,

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Speaker 1: and it's got a rainbow on it. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: a shamed deckels. No, it's got a shame absolutely incredible,

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Speaker 1: tiny hands, tiny teak. Yes you do have time? Like

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Speaker 1: what am I? Yeah, there's a massive difference.

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Speaker 2: We just did a little compare and yeah, I'm cute.

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Speaker 1: Cute, go with cute. Thanks. Okay, so I'm pumped. I'm

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Speaker 1: pumped to have you here. And we spoke, but well

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Speaker 1: we email before this and you were like, do you

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Speaker 1: want to know my failures first, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: let's make it spontaneous.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, you don't know what I'm going to say.

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Speaker 1: Which is so exciting. And one thing about me, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you know, but for the last six

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Speaker 1: months I've been doing acting school and few yes, and

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Speaker 1: so I'm so fascinated, just like and in awe because

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Speaker 1: it's fucking hard. Yeah it is.

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Speaker 2: People think it's easy if you're good at it.

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Speaker 1: It looks easy, but it's not. It's like horse riding.

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Speaker 2: Actually, horse riding looks easy and then you get on

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Speaker 2: a horse, You're like, ah shit.

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Speaker 1: Had you go on a horse before? A Clouds Daughter?

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Speaker 1: Not really?

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Speaker 2: Once on blue heelers. Actually I had to ride a

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Speaker 2: horse and they were.

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Speaker 1: Like, just just try and stay on, you know, and

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Speaker 1: just with smack it on the ass and I'll be

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Speaker 1: like when it can.

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Speaker 2: I was a hot mess. I was a hot mess,

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Speaker 2: and I was a hot mess when I when I

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Speaker 2: joined McCloud's and of course in my audition, I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I can ride a horse. And then when I got

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Speaker 2: my call back, I went, hey, just so you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not like.

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Speaker 1: A horse ride a horse right now? I had to

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Speaker 1: bess up that I wasn't really my area of exports

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Speaker 1: are incredible. Have you fallen in love with horses?

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Speaker 2: So in love because they're so incredibly like, there's this

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Speaker 2: incredible thing that happens when you're riding where they know

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Speaker 2: you're there. They know to sort of avoid a branch

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Speaker 2: that's overhanging or not. If they hate your guts, they

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Speaker 2: can send your energy your heart rate. Apparently heart rate

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Speaker 2: ends up going to kind of getting in alignment with

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Speaker 2: the horses when you because I'm like, why am I paffed?

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Speaker 1: I'm not even doing anything. I'm just sitting here while

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Speaker 1: the horse is running.

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Speaker 3: But it's yeah, equine therapy therapy where they use and

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Speaker 3: so they say that the horses heart rate we match

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Speaker 3: because their heart is much biggers, about five times the

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Speaker 3: size of ours.

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Speaker 1: Our heart rate matches theirs.

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Speaker 2: It's extraordinary.

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Speaker 1: So they use it for like kids with add ADHD

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Speaker 1: and just being near the horse because when they're just

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Speaker 1: on their own and chill, they're very chill. And I

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Speaker 1: almost feel like I've done a few shoots with horses

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Speaker 1: randomly because I'm a horse nerd. My dad just be

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Speaker 1: equine bit and I remember the horse wrangler. There was

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Speaker 1: about three horses on this hue. He was like, oh god,

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Speaker 1: I've never seen someone drop in so fast. I said,

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Speaker 1: what's dropping in is like just kind of meshed in

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Speaker 1: with the horse. And there was another person on the

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Speaker 1: chute who was drinking, as you do in some and

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Speaker 1: the horses would be really uncomfortable and kind of rear up.

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Speaker 2: A funny thing because they call sometimes certain wonky actors

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Speaker 2: called drop.

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Speaker 1: They use the term dropping in with character. So I've

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Speaker 1: heard go, yeah, you know, just dropping into characters.

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Speaker 2: That makes my skin crawl.

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Speaker 1: But there is a there is a sort.

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Speaker 2: Of moment where you go, oh, I feel I've come

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Speaker 2: into I've come into this other person, and that's that

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Speaker 2: term is often dropping there you go, so that's the

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Speaker 2: One'll be.

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Speaker 1: More like, so tell me that. Well I've been doing

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Speaker 1: is like action objective, all that oh wow stuff for

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Speaker 1: so far.

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Speaker 2: No, it's interesting, and I still use that stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I think, like for human behavior, that's why I think.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wow, the human brain and the human

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Speaker 1: behavior I'm getting outside your con That's why I do it.

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Speaker 2: I'm fascinated with people that's fascinated by other humans and

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Speaker 2: I'm interested in learning as much as I can about myself,

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Speaker 2: and the way to do it is by being other people.

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Speaker 2: Like I think when I was younger, I remember actually

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Speaker 2: when I was on the cloud, it's one of the

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Speaker 2: other actors, because I've been acting since I was a kid.

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Speaker 2: They're like, how do you even know who are? You

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Speaker 2: just pretend to be other people all the time. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, I actually think I know who I

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Speaker 2: am better because I have to do that, because I

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Speaker 2: have to step into someone else's shoes.

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Speaker 1: I actually have to look at my own shit a lot.

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Speaker 2: So I felt like I felt a bit like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's a bit mean, but then I went, no, No,

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Speaker 2: I actually think the answer is that I know myself

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Speaker 2: better than most people because I just have to go there.

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Speaker 1: Well, that to me makes total sense because the common

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Speaker 1: theme that I've noticed on every workshop or course or

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Speaker 1: like if I see a speaker come out, they it

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Speaker 1: almost sounds like it's a quest for truthfulness within yourself

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Speaker 1: and within the character. Yeah, and it's like so that

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Speaker 1: the bullshit kind of has to go, Yeah, your own bullshit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Frankly, it's pretty clear you just have to sort

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Speaker 2: your shit out. I think people think that it's that

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Speaker 2: it's that tortured artist thing, ye, where you've got.

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Speaker 1: To be all damaged and fucked up to have this,

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Speaker 1: which is true.

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Speaker 2: We're all pretty you know, most actors have a lot

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Speaker 2: of that stuff, but you have to.

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Speaker 1: I feel like.

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Speaker 2: Since working on my personal shit, I'm a better actor.

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Speaker 2: Since I've cleared a lot of that. I still use it.

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Speaker 2: It's still there. It's not like it disappears and it

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Speaker 2: doesn't exist anymore. But understanding it and dealing with it

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Speaker 2: and sorting through it has made me better at my job.

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Speaker 1: I reckon hundred percent. I'm a super pro therapy and therapist,

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Speaker 1: and like working on your shit so that you just

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Speaker 1: are a better version of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and a better version of yourself means you better

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Speaker 2: for other people, friends, family, partner, you know, work colleagues.

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Speaker 2: I used to think it was selfish. So I used

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Speaker 2: to think looking after yourself, putting yourself first was a

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Speaker 2: selfish thing because I was just like, that means I'm

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Speaker 2: number one, and that's horrible, Like I just made me

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Speaker 2: want to cringe. And then I when I started realizing

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Speaker 2: I had to do it, I had no other choice.

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Speaker 2: I then sort of discovered, oh, actually, that it means

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Speaker 2: I am better for everyone around me.

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Speaker 1: And I think you're not alone in that feeling of selfishness.

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Speaker 1: I think like it's even called self care.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, people just get And I was like about it,

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Speaker 2: and then I was like, oh, but I'm also just

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Speaker 2: mean to myself, so probably not good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to catch yourself. And I think everyone

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Speaker 1: has to go through phases where it's time for growth

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Speaker 1: or learning or working on yourself. I am so excited

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Speaker 1: to hear about the failures that you want to try

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Speaker 1: to about, But first I want to hear about, like

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Speaker 1: how it all, how you began because you're from your

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Speaker 1: keyway initially, and was your first ad when you were

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Speaker 1: like eighteen months old?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I did, like for yeah, my first commercialized eighteen

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Speaker 2: months old.

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Speaker 1: But then still you were like at five years you

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Speaker 1: were in something, were you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my first film? I was five, So I did

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Speaker 2: speak to film at five.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, crazy, that is crazy, but amazing, Yeah, amazing. And

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Speaker 1: I grew up like my dad.

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Speaker 2: My dad ran a theater when I was When I

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Speaker 2: was born, he was an actor and became a director

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Speaker 2: and ran this theater and now he's a writer.

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Speaker 1: But at that time he was running a theater. So

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Speaker 1: I grew up in the theater.

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Speaker 2: I grew up in on sets and in rehearsal rooms

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Speaker 2: and backstage, and that world was just, you know, my

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Speaker 2: other home. Yeah, it was in my bladder. It was

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Speaker 2: my other home. And I understood it, you know, So

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Speaker 2: it was any wonder I sort of went down the

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Speaker 2: path that I did. But I think he at some

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Speaker 2: point was a bit like I remember with the film

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Speaker 2: when I was five, obviously at eighteen months, they just

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Speaker 2: chucked me in the commercial and I played with toys like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was in a Kiwi suit. I dressed was a

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Speaker 2: kew bird.

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Speaker 1: No, oh my god, I have to find that.

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Speaker 2: I have to find a photo.

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Speaker 1: Hilarious, please please leave.

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Speaker 2: And I just played with toys because what else there's

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Speaker 2: a eighteen months ye'll do. But when I was five

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Speaker 2: with the film, I remember him sitting me down and going,

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Speaker 2: you know, he's shows is what you want to do,

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Speaker 2: and telling me the story of the movie because it

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Speaker 2: was kind of a psychological thriller thing. I had to

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Speaker 2: have a gun pointed at my word, I had to

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Speaker 2: get kidnapped and be dragged through a cemetery like Gnali stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I remember him asking me if it was something

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do, and I was like, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: like because he said it's okay. If you don't want to,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to do it, you know, like he

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Speaker 2: was very but that's my choice.

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Speaker 1: That means it is empowered. Like it's quite empowering to you.

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Speaker 1: I know, that's a very young age to make. That's

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Speaker 1: all you got that chance to He knew.

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Speaker 2: I understood, and so he gave me the opportunity to

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Speaker 2: make my own decision and I one did That's pretty cool,

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Speaker 2: pretty cool at five to make that cool?

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Speaker 1: Did you keep? So? Then? Did you get? Were you

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Speaker 1: in that industry the whole way?

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Speaker 2: Like through yeah, bits and pieces as a kid, and

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Speaker 2: then you know, lots of commercials and film and some

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Speaker 2: stage bits and pieces.

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Speaker 1: I had a moment Scooby Doo. Oh boy, I have

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Speaker 1: watched you Scooby Doo scene amazing. It's a little bit

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Speaker 1: of taekwondo action fantastic, a little bit of why work.

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Speaker 1: It's also on YouTube for those of you that want to,

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Speaker 1: oh boy, yeah, MICHAELA. Madison Scooby Do Yes, it's in

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Speaker 1: my life. It'd be good fifteen seconds that you can

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Speaker 1: enjoy their question though, that would be a massive blokbuster.

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Speaker 2: It was a massive and it's been the most lucrative

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Speaker 2: job I've ever had. Hilariously, I still yesterday got a

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Speaker 2: royalties check for it, still going so not big.

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Speaker 1: You played like a fifteen year old girl, didn't you?

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Speaker 1: Or yeah, you were playing a young dage. I was

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Speaker 1: twenty two. Yeah, but you look but I looked fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you looked, so I think I was probably playing

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Speaker 2: fifteen sixteen or something. But yeah, and it's literally I'm

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Speaker 2: in a scene. But I was there for five days.

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Speaker 2: We were shooting on this island outside of Brisbane, Morton Island,

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Speaker 2: which is delightful with five hundred extras, so we had

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Speaker 2: the entire island. It was insane. It was a crazy,

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Speaker 2: massive blockbuster. And I had auditioned for the role that

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Speaker 2: isle of Fisher plays in the film, and it got

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Speaker 2: down to me and isle of Fisher for that role

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Speaker 2: and I didn't get it and I was gutted. And

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Speaker 2: then the director was like, the director was like, but

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Speaker 2: we love you, We just can would you come and

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Speaker 2: do this tiny little thing? It's only small, but we

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Speaker 2: just really.

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Speaker 1: Liked it and I was like, sure, of course, how fun yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it was so much fun.

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Speaker 2: It was five days of absolute just mad.

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Speaker 1: It was energy, like got a massive it was.

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Speaker 2: It was massive and wish. It took three days to

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Speaker 2: film the scene that I'm in Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was in the fifteen seconds or or it

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Speaker 1: was twenty seconds. Yeah. Three days of shooting wow, and

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Speaker 1: two days of sitting around playing cards with a bunch

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Speaker 1: of really lovely people as you do.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, it was. It was insane. And then the

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Speaker 2: premiere was a big thing. They invited me to the

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Speaker 2: premiere there because at that point I was just yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was doing always Greener. Yeah, and so because I'd

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Speaker 2: sort of started getting a name for myself in Australia,

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Speaker 2: it was kind of this thing like oh my god,

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Speaker 2: she's in it too, and I was like, oh god,

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Speaker 2: I'm really like not in it, but okay, but it was.

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Speaker 2: It was a really big deal and I felt really

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Speaker 2: cool and special and you know, it made me feel great.

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Speaker 1: Well when I when I wikipediaed you, that was one

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Speaker 1: of the that was one of the like the things

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Speaker 1: like this, yeah, it's like one that comes up that

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Speaker 1: and of course like the incredible It's upper middle Bogan correct. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I was just saying before, oh my, you are

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Speaker 1: so amber. Your character the best. She has got a

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Speaker 1: sweat for people. Not so it's on Netflix currently if

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Speaker 1: people want to see it. I was.

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Speaker 2: I recommend I would never say this usually about a

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Speaker 2: show that I'm in, but I recommend you watch it

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Speaker 2: because it's so fun.

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Speaker 1: Well, your character has a swear jar which is full

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Speaker 1: when we meet your character and keeps getting filled. She's

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Speaker 1: a gutter mouth bogan, you know, with the heart of gold.

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Speaker 1: I mean, was that so much fun before?

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Speaker 2: It was so much fun that I honestly if yeah,

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Speaker 2: if they ever wanted to make more, I would be

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Speaker 2: there with bells on. I would do that show forever. Well,

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Speaker 2: And I don't say that about anything.

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Speaker 1: It just it's so to preface people listening. Basically, you've

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Speaker 1: got kind of like and could you say, like an

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Speaker 1: upper class family versus like a drag family.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, this anisthetist finds out that and she's in

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Speaker 2: this very well to do family. Her husband's an architecture

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Speaker 2: mum's you know, pearl wearing to rag lady, you know,

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Speaker 2: upper crust, and they're very upper class firmly, and she

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Speaker 2: finds out she's adopted and that her real birth family?

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Speaker 2: Are you got drag racing buttons into into amber?

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Speaker 1: And her swear so amazing that like, I haven't since

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Speaker 1: I've started, since I knew we were doing this podcast,

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Speaker 1: I haven't. I haven't stopped watching it. It's the point

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Speaker 1: that my boyfriend's watched all three seasons and it's like,

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Speaker 1: what are you up to?

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Speaker 2: Old?

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Speaker 1: Just sit and watch next run with you?

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Speaker 2: Like, oh, that's so nice.

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Speaker 1: So and then again on YouTube, people have like fans

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Speaker 1: have put together all your scenes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my almost swearing and all my burping is there.

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Speaker 2: I think as well, I just have to pull the

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Speaker 2: right face and then they dub it.

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Speaker 1: They dub it.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, surely, But people ask me all

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Speaker 2: the time to burp in the street.

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Speaker 1: They're like, you just burt for me.

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Speaker 2: And like, no, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I actually don't have that skill.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I wish I did because I can make

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Speaker 2: it look like I'm doing it, but I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, people, No, I'm getting so carried away with all

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Speaker 1: these amazing things you've done. But I okay, let's talk

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Speaker 1: about what I haven't done. But I had like to

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Speaker 1: rewind a little bit from what I can gather you've

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Speaker 1: kind of lived in all different places too, like you

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Speaker 1: were New Zealand, but you've lived like you went to

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Speaker 1: school in Sydney. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: We moved to Sydney in nineteen eighty eight, and so

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Speaker 2: I'd already started school in New Zealand. Yeah, and so

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Speaker 2: I had to change schools. I moved to Sydney and

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Speaker 2: went to primary school there, did some of my high

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Speaker 2: school in Sydney. Then we moved to Queensland and I

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Speaker 2: finished high school in Queensland. Then I moved to Melbourne,

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Speaker 2: was here for a while and I booked my first

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Speaker 2: sort of big job in Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Went to Sydney. What was that.

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Speaker 2: Always Green Up? Yeah, that was my sort of breakout,

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Speaker 2: breakout thing. I'd done a bunch of guests. In fact,

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Speaker 2: i'd sort of run out of guest roles, like shows

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Speaker 2: to do guest roles on.

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Speaker 1: I'd sort of done them all and was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: now what you know?

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Speaker 2: And then I knew that I needed to book an

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Speaker 2: ongoing job. And I got really lucky and I did.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I worked my ass off, but I landed

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Speaker 2: Always Greener and that took me to Sydney. And then

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Speaker 2: after that Adelaide mccartstairs was an Adelaide.

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Speaker 1: We had to fully relocate for that out and it

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Speaker 1: was like farm like rural.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an hour north of Adelaide. I lived in

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Speaker 2: the city for the shoot. I love Adelaide, like fabulous,

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Speaker 2: totally underrated.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, well I call it some times, like

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Speaker 1: it's got the vibe of Melbourne. Yeah, and like creatives

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Speaker 1: and food and such good food.

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Speaker 2: And you can afford to live on the beach. I

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Speaker 2: lived on the beach in Adelaide for a while because right, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can't afford to live on the beach in Melbourne

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Speaker 2: or Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Nah, you're dreaming, it's possible. Yeah, this is true, this

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Speaker 1: is true. I had a job so I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we live on the beach. It was amazing. I had

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Speaker 1: the best time. I could talk about all your characters

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Speaker 1: and like even Tiffany when it's like I could go,

390
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,119
Speaker 1: I'm like mega fanning right now. But the preface of

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Speaker 1: this podcast is basically really cool people that have done

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Speaker 1: epic shit. So tic tic tick, You've done all of that,

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Speaker 1: But like I think we don't often celebrate or talk

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Speaker 1: about kind of like the lessons, the tricky little hiccups

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Speaker 1: when you look back at them. There's that famous Steve

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Speaker 1: Jobs quote and he's like, sometimes it feels like you know,

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Speaker 1: you're hitting your head against the brick wall, and he said,

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Speaker 1: it's not till you look back and you connect the dots, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the lines, like, ah, that thing happens. You know that

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Speaker 1: this thing could happen. And so I kind of want

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00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 1: to talk about a few things that have been hiccups

402
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Speaker 1: for you can be anything that you want to talk about,

403
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Speaker 1: but I think it's important for people to know that

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Speaker 1: those that are seemingly really successful have still been through shit.

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Speaker 1: And that's the premise this potty and why.

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Speaker 2: It's like we love hearing about supermodels, we hate their thighs. Well, yes,

407
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Speaker 2: you know they've all got ship, we've.

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Speaker 1: Got human But I also think often the things that

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Speaker 1: make you successful absolutely folutely.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, man, speak in my language, so interestingly I have.

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Speaker 2: When you told me what this was, what our conversation

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Speaker 2: was going to be about, I go into like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, that's really interesting. What do I have to

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00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 2: offer to this conversation? And three things came up? So

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Speaker 2: you get to choose which ones or in which audo

416
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Speaker 2: you want one of them is around my personal life,

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Speaker 2: one of them is around my physical body, and one

418
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 2: of them is around my work.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, we have to do them all.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So which one does?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Holy sinking music?

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Speaker 1: Also amazing? Can we start with the body? Great? Y? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Being a nutritionist, I find it so fascinating.

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Speaker 2: I mean, this is going to be just like the

426
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Speaker 2: dumbest shit you've ever heard, probably because this is like

427
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Speaker 2: it all you go, of course you do, but until

428
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Speaker 2: it's happening anyway, this will make sense. For the second, basically,

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Speaker 2: I did a stage musical called Avenue Q. And this

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Speaker 2: is like nearly ten years ago, yeah, almost ten years ago,

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Speaker 2: and it was really amazing and it was a very

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Speaker 2: very demanding show. I had to puppeteer, sing, dance works,

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Speaker 2: all the things, and it was incredible and it was

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Speaker 2: a really great show and it was very successful. And

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Speaker 2: I had the lead in this show, which was a

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Speaker 2: miracle because I'd never done a stage show before. Really

437
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 2: it was my stage debut and I landed the lead

438
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 2: and I got this job and I worked my little

439
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 2: lass off and it was wonderful. And then about seven

440
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,439
Speaker 2: months into the show, one hundred shows in, I got

441
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: really sick with this virus, and I kept going and

442
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 2: kept trying because there's the old you know, the show

443
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 2: must go on, and people were coming to the show

444
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 2: because you know, there was sort of good feedback and

445
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 2: I want to see certain people in certain roles, et cetera,

446
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 2: et cetera, and so and then I got so so

447
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,640
Speaker 2: ill that I ended up having to leave the show

448
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 2: because I was so sick, and I mentally that did

449
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 2: more damage than anything, really. But my big lesson in

450
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,959
Speaker 2: letting myself get run into the ground that badly was

451
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 2: to listen to my body, which is just you just

452
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 2: be like, of course everything you're doing that. But until

453
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 2: I went through that, I didn't really do that. I'm

454
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: very conscious of my health, but I wasn't paying attention.

455
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 2: And I think I failed. I failed my body because

456
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 2: I didn't listen and I didn't the failure was in pushing,

457
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: and I think and that's the thing that people in

458
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,400
Speaker 2: my industry do all the time, not just physically, they

459
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 2: do it mentally and emotionally. And that's why we have

460
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 2: so many issues around mental health and alcoholism and drug

461
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,959
Speaker 2: addiction within the entertainment industry is because people feel like

462
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: they can't stop, and they can't take a minute and

463
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 2: rest and be kind and gentle. And it's not a

464
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 2: gentle industry. But I am learning still because it's a

465
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 2: process to be gentle with myself even.

466
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: When something is requiring a lot of energy.

467
00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 2: I work with this really amazing spiritual teacher, Catchyna Saunders,

468
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: and she she and I she She teacher has taught

469
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 2: me to be gentle even when I'm sitting on a

470
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: set with craziness around me. And it's a hard thing

471
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: for me to do because I'm quite a high energy person.

472
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 2: I'm go, go, go, and I don't like to say

473
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 2: I can't or no, or I'm sorry, I'm not available,

474
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 2: or I need to rest, or can I have a moment?

475
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 2: Like So it's all of those things were wrapped up

476
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 2: in this one big lesson for me, this failure to

477
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 2: failure to be kind to myself and put my health

478
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 2: before any job. I mean, I felt like I had to,

479
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 2: like and it wasn't any pressure that anyone was putting

480
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: on me. The producers were delightful and amazing and supportive.

481
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 2: It's what I put on myself.

482
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was a massive lesson. Two things. First thing,

483
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to go hippie yogi on your one second

484
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 1: and you'll, I think you will love this because it's

485
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,959
Speaker 1: such a good ethos to have in anything moving forward.

486
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: In yoga, we always strive for steerast or, which is

487
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: a balance of softness and strength discipline. So they say

488
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: in Yogo, you want to rock up on your mat

489
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 1: every day, you want to feel the practice, you want

490
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,479
Speaker 1: to do the craft for you, acting is probably your craft.

491
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,199
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah. And then it's this softness of

492
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: being like it's okay to let go every now and then,

493
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: it's okay to not totally be attached to the outcome

494
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: of that thing. And so stirrasuka is a beautiful little

495
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 1: man try and I use it whenever I feel like

496
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: I'm burning out or giving. I think as well, creatives

497
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: are givers, and I think you can give and give

498
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: because I can understand, like before, even though you knew

499
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: you weren't feeling great, you're probably going up on stay

500
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 1: or you're performing and going. But I'm giving something to

501
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 1: these audience members, and I'm giving them an experience or escapism.

502
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 2: Or they've paid money, they've come in to see, they

503
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: come in, you want to give.

504
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: It you're all. But I have heard that people that

505
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 1: work more in the theater world and like that is grueling,

506
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: Like that is day in day physical mental, like people

507
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 1: go on vocal raret Yeah, and they say it can

508
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: me really hard and really taxing on a relationship. It's

509
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 1: taxing across the board.

510
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 2: It's an interesting job because whether it's stage, film, TV, whatever,

511
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 2: if you're a dance or a musician, anything that's you know,

512
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 2: really creative. And I was having this conversation yesterday at work,

513
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: funnily enough, on set. I was saying, you know, a

514
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 2: lot of jobs are mentally taxing, some jobs are physically taxing,

515
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 2: but our job is mentally taxing, physically taxing, and emotionally taxing.

516
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: So you're depleted across the board. It's not like I'm

517
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,360
Speaker 2: sitting a desk using my brain all day, like that's

518
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 2: what some jobs require. It's not like I'm a laborer

519
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: and I can just listen to music and zone out

520
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 2: and just physical Yeah I'm doing Yeah. I mean, I

521
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: would never compare myself to either of those roles, but

522
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: it's it's a job that does require all of my.

523
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: Facets to be going out spot on. Yeah.

524
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 2: So and when you're in theater, it's heightened, and it's

525
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: and it's it's sprinting. Every day there's sort of two

526
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: and a half hours of just a marathon, mate, flat out,

527
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 2: and then you're supposed to have all this quiet time.

528
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: But then you're doing press and people think, oh, you

529
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: don't even work during the day if you're doing a

530
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 2: theater show. But sometimes you're rehearsing someone in who's an understudy.

531
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes you're doing press. Sometimes you know, like and.

532
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 1: A lot of performers, because they've performed that afternoon or

533
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: that evening, might it's so hard to switch off at night.

534
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: And then insomnia is something like I've heard so much.

535
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: That's why drinking is a problem for a lot of people.

536
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 2: I don't drink, but a lot of performers turn to

537
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: drinking as a means to help them wind down, switch

538
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: off totally.

539
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: Just you know, yeah, it's it's it's yeah, it is.

540
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 2: It's not hard, but it's not as easy as it appears.

541
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: I think energetically as well. Though you have hit the

542
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 1: nail on the head like there are it does. It

543
00:25:55,680 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: requires every facet of you as a human being, heart, soul, body, mind. Yeah,

544
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: like you have to rock up.

545
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, if you're present and you're doing your job

546
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 2: well and you want to give it your bait, you.

547
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: Can phone it in if you want.

548
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 2: But I'm not one to do that, and not many,

549
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 2: not many performers are, I don't think, not at all.

550
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: So my question is when you did get this virus

551
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: and you were like, okay, like I have to you will,

552
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: you were at a point where you were like, I

553
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 1: have to pull upin here. Yeah, who one, Like, what

554
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: was the moment of going right, this has to happen,

555
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: and who was there? They're kind of like.

556
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 2: They They actually physically pulled me off stage one night

557
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 2: because they thought I was going to collapse so they

558
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 2: could see how unwell I was, and literally in the

559
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 2: middle of a performance. Usually you make the call before

560
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 2: a performance a few hours before and say, look, I

561
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: can't go on. The understudy goes on. In this instance,

562
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 2: I was like no, no, no, no, no.

563
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: I can do this. I cant this.

564
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: And I went on and yeah, not even halfway through

565
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: the first act, they just pulled me aside and they said,

566
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: you're not even you can barely stay on your feet.

567
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 1: That's it.

568
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: We're putting your understudy on and just in the middle

569
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 2: of the show swapped it out, so I'm sure the

570
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 2: audience were like, what's going on. So that was gutting

571
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 2: for me, and of course, but they were trying to

572
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: take care of me totally because I wasn't doing it.

573
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 2: And then we had to sit down. I had to

574
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: sit down with the producers and I just cried and

575
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: cried and cried because I felt so much guilt and

576
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: so much stuff that I'd been putting on myself, not them.

577
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 2: They were incredible, and they said, look, you know, we

578
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 2: tried just giving me a break for a while, and

579
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: then I tried to go back and I hadn't recovered enough,

580
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 2: you know, and I at some point I just said

581
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 2: I think I need to stop, and they said, yeah,

582
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 2: we think you do too. And it was really hard,

583
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: and it was a lot of a lot of guilt

584
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 2: came with it, and I felt like I was letting

585
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: everyone down. Of course, no one else felt that, no,

586
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 2: but that's our That's where I went in my head.

587
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 2: And it took me a long time to recover mentally

588
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 2: and emotionally from it.

589
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: Oh but also understandably, because you can see you give

590
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: you're all, you know, I think as a creative. It's

591
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: heart driven always for me.

592
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 2: Always, Yes, I think.

593
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,239
Speaker 1: Like and was the when you did recover, you were

594
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: all good like it was like no, it.

595
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 2: Took quite a word and they never really worked out

596
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 2: what it was. That was a big problem as well.

597
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: So psychologically that took a toll because the doctor's like

598
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: checking for tumors because I lost a bit of weight

599
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: and I'm not a big person. They were worried and

600
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: everyone's like, you're eating, like I'm eating. I'm a big

601
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 2: eater and I was eating a lot, but I lost

602
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: a bit of weight, and so they were worried that

603
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 2: I had a tumor somewhere and then they couldn't work

604
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: at it. But they ended up guessing that it was

605
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: something in the glandular fever family.

606
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: That's where my head went as soon as you said that.

607
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was so depleted. But whatever whatever I

608
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 2: had triggered, I've got fructo smeal absorption, which means I

609
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: have to be on a FODMAP diet. For those of

610
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: you out there who aren't.

611
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: Sure what that is.

612
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: It's like I can't eat onion and certain fruits think

613
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: it's fruit.

614
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, no, garlic, and onion, all the

615
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: good things.

616
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, the ones with flavor, Yeah, I can't have those.

617
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: So I'm one of those people. But that's this.

618
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: It took me a while to realize that I had

619
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: food allergies.

620
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: Now.

621
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I was trying to gain weight, so I was

622
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 2: eating pasta and things that would help me gain some

623
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 2: weight back, and it was all just the wrong stuff

624
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 2: for my body. And it took a while to figure

625
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 2: out what was going on.

626
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: And for people listening that think that might be like, oh,

627
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: I might have foo tse mails watch too, I always

628
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: it's someone as a nutritionist. It is combat. A lot

629
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: of people diagnose themselves with it, and I always say, like,

630
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: go to a doctor because it could be a simple test.

631
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah it's a breath test. Yeah yeah, and you know,

632
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: it could be gluten or it could be you know

633
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: something there. I'm allergic to gluten, like it's so reactive

634
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: in my body. So everyone has these sensitivities. But it

635
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: does sound like you're so as a result of going

636
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: through something really shitty, you're now more connected. Absolutely.

637
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 2: The second I feel you know, ask my husband. The

638
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 2: second I'm not feeling quite right, I stop, I rest,

639
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: I breathe because I'm often not doing that properly, and

640
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 2: I remind myself to be gentle and that even if

641
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 2: I have commitments, which I always do, I can still

642
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: do those things. I can do them in a gentle way,

643
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 2: and or I can say I'm sorry.

644
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: I can't totally. And I don't think that that means

645
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: you necessarily miss out on anything. Often saying no makes

646
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: space for you to either gain.

647
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: Of course, but when you're when you're a younger actor,

648
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: you feel like you're say no to anything. They're like, well,

649
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: we won't use her again totally. Whereas now I feel,

650
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: you know, I'm in my forties, I've been doing this

651
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 2: for thirty five years, and I've worked really hard, and

652
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: I feel like it's okay to say no and people

653
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: aren't going to be like, well, we're not going to

654
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: cast her in the next show, then you know what

655
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: I mean, that's not going to happen anymore.

656
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: That also comes down to a sense of knowing who

657
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: you are and understanding your worth and absolutely very comfortable

658
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: just like like and I find that quite powerful. Yeah,

659
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: it's exciting.

660
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I wish I had it when I was

661
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: in my twenties. I see some people in their twenties with.

662
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: That, and I'm like, fuck yeah, yeah, jealous. I wish

663
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: I had that shit in my twenties. Oh man. I

664
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: work with a therapist and he's like, stop compensating for

665
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: other people. He's like, start doing their own shit and love. Yeah. Yeah,

666
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, but I feel guilty. And

667
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: it's that same energy that you were just describing and

668
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: like pulling out out of the gig basically because you

669
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: weren't well enough. But I get it, like, especially when

670
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: you are like I want to give my best, I

671
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: want to help, I want to do it the best

672
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: I can. I know I've got this energy to share,

673
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: all this thing that I want to share. So I

674
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: get it.

675
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: But I'm also we're also doing our best for someone

676
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 2: else totally, and that's okay, that's great, But what are

677
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 2: you doing.

678
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: For you yourself? Yeah?

679
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: I felt like Oprah, then mate, you are you are?

680
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: I'm drinking the kool aid. I'm drinking the cool aid. Okay,

681
00:31:54,640 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: So next do we go personal work? Holy mackerel, let's

682
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: go work, Okay, cool, let's go work. Okay. It's excited.

683
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: So I don't know.

684
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 2: How to say this without sounding like a complete whanekah.

685
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: Oh, even more excited there.

686
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: But I was thinking about work and failure, and I

687
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 2: haven't really had a lot of failure in my work.

688
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: I've never had a bad review. I've never had something

689
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 2: fall on its ass that I've been responsible for. I've

690
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 2: worked on shows that haven't been very good, but it's

691
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: never been I'm the one, I'm the lead or you

692
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: know in that instance. You know, I've sort of always

693
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 2: got a good rap even if it's been bad.

694
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: You know, but oh you were great, the show wasn't great.

695
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 2: So personally, I've not had a lot of I've just

696
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 2: not really failed in my career, which is fucking ridiculously awesome.

697
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: I guess a testament to you as well.

698
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: Well maybe, but I was I suppose I've had tiny

699
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: failings all the time along the way that are you know,

700
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 2: I've allay for so many things and not got them. Yeah,

701
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 2: so a lot of rejection, But I don't consider that

702
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 2: a failing. I just consider that part of the jobs. Like,

703
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: no matter who you are, no matter how amazing you are,

704
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 2: you're not going to get every job.

705
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: This is not possible. You're not right for everything.

706
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: But what I was thinking about was I've actually feel

707
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 2: like where I have failed is I've actually failed to

708
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 2: be brave in my career and not with the work

709
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: that I do, because I think I'm really brave as

710
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: an actor and I make really brave choices and I

711
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: do all kinds of stuff, and I'm really very extraordinarily

712
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 2: grateful for the career I've had because it's been really diverse.

713
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,959
Speaker 2: I've played all different kinds of roles. I'm not just

714
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: playing the bitch all the time or the nerd. I

715
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: played them all. But i haven't been brave in the

716
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 2: sense that I haven't done what I want to do

717
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 2: yet yet. So I work for other people all the time,

718
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: and I do fucking excellent work for everyone that I

719
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: work for because I want to and I want them

720
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 2: to have a great show. But I've never really gone

721
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: this is what i want to say. I'm backing myself.

722
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to create this thing. I'm not actually ever

723
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: created anything myself. I've created characters and I've created work

724
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 2: with other people, and so that's for me. The next

725
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 2: step is going what do I want to say? And

726
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 2: that's I'm going down that path.

727
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:32,399
Speaker 1: Especially right now, really, but that's the thing I wish

728
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 1: I'd done it in my twenties or thirties, because I've

729
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 1: had heaps of shit to say, and why is my

730
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 1: voice not important? This is the thing that's my failing.

731
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: That's where the Steve Jobs thing comes back. And it's like,

732
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: but things do happen in the perfect time. Maybe you

733
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: needed to get to this stage in your life.

734
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: I mean Jackie Weaver, you know, like in her sixties

735
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 2: smashing it now. You know, not that she didn't before,

736
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 2: but her career has just gone further than it ever had.

737
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: You know. Well, it's so inspiring to hear say that,

738
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,959
Speaker 1: because I did. Last week I was in an acting

739
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: class and I was the oldest person by ten years.

740
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: Oh wow. And I was like, shit, I don't worry.

741
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 2: I'm doing an acting class in November. Really like participating

742
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 2: in an acting class. Yes, okay, so I'll probably be.

743
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,959
Speaker 1: The oldest one. But it's quite confronting. And I said

744
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 1: to my therapist. I was like, shit, am I am?

745
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 1: I just crazy person? Like I've got a great career.

746
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 1: I should be happy with that. And he's like, that's

747
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: your strength, loler. He said, that's your strength because you

748
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: know who you are now You're not You're coming into

749
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: things clear.

750
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 2: And also like, I'm sorry, but let's just fuck off

751
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: any limitations around age. I'm just done with it. Like

752
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 2: I was reading this thing the other day and I

753
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 2: kind of remember who it was where I was reading it,

754
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 2: but I just remembered what I took from it was

755
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 2: there's no limits like why like as women like, especially

756
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 2: in this industry. I mean, there seems to be this

757
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: kind of cap like and I have felt it. I

758
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,439
Speaker 2: have felt a small cap of well, I'm too old.

759
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 2: I get told I'm too old quite regularly. And then

760
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: I get told and you don't look like a mum,

761
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 2: because I'm not a mum, I don't know, Like, so

762
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 2: I sit in this weird area of like not looking

763
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: like a mum.

764
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: But who don't you look like a mum? For that's

765
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: one of the persons.

766
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 2: I play a mum all the time. It's not a problem.

767
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 2: But I have been told I'm too old for stuff,

768
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 2: and which I'm definitely too old to play a twenty

769
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 2: year old.

770
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I don't want to play a twenty year old anymore.

771
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 1: I've done it.

772
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 2: But there is no limit like that. It feels it

773
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 2: felt like you sort of get into your forties fifties

774
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 2: and that's sort of where it all just dies off

775
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 2: a bit.

776
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 1: But shit is.

777
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: Changing and there's no age limit, and I'm just like,

778
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 2: I'm happy to be the oldest person in the class

779
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 2: and I'm still going to class even though I've got

780
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 2: thirty five years on set experience, because you don't ever

781
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 2: stop fucking learning, and we don't raise well, we don't

782
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 2: have that culture in Australia around this kind of work.

783
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 2: Like in America you go to an acting class and

784
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: there's really well known actors in acting classy actors who

785
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 2: work all the time classes. Because it's like being an athlete,

786
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 2: you have to go muscle well, I can run the

787
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 2: hundred meters the fastest. I think I'll.

788
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: Stop training now, Like no, you train all the fucking

789
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: time because you need to practice because you can't practice

790
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: on your own at home. Recrossing my legs for breaking

791
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 1: ships I have my leg was just it was like, shit,

792
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,479
Speaker 1: I don't try. That's good.

793
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: You're so right though, But we don't have that culture

794
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,479
Speaker 2: in Australia around it. We think that once you're working,

795
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 2: well that's it.

796
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: You're done.

797
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 2: You're great, You've made it.

798
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: Yes, technically I've made it. But the thing is, well,

799
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: in my eyes, you have but I can I can

800
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:44,399
Speaker 1: see the power in consistently learning like and just like.

801
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you take something from different from every

802
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: experience all the time. But sometimes you have a terrible

803
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: class and like, what a waste of time? But but

804
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: you go.

805
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 2: But I learned that I don't want to do that thing,

806
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: or I tried something. You know, singers, sports people generally

807
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 2: you can on your own.

808
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: You can't really. I mean, you can sit into a

809
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: monologue in front of a mirror if you want, but

810
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: it's not quite the same thing, you know what I mean.

811
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 2: Like I'm singing in the shower, singing by a piano.

812
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,240
Speaker 2: For me, that's me practicing as a singer. That's keeping

813
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 2: my vocal cords, you know, in nick and you know.

814
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 2: But but you can't sort of stretch those muscles as

815
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 2: an actor unless you go into a class and just

816
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 2: start scenes with.

817
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: Other It is that human behavior thing, isn't it. And

818
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 1: you need more than one human often.

819
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 2: We're so freaking nuanced and detailed and it's never ending.

820
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: So you could play one role for the rest of

821
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: your life, which we do ourselves. But you know, I

822
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 2: say you were playing Hamlet. You could play Hamlet forever

823
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 2: because there's no end to the detail you could bring.

824
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: To that human very differently. So why would you stop

825
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: going to class when you could? There's more to explore. God,

826
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 1: you're amazing. I can't wait to listen to this. Bactis

827
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: for my own personal selfish lessons that I want to

828
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: learn from you. I love it with just on the

829
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: work and failure thing, And I love that you've said,

830
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: you know, I look at not getting a gigas just

831
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 1: that's just part of the job, Like rejection is just

832
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: part of what used to be. Have you ever had

833
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 1: rejection in an audition though, where they've said, oh, actually,

834
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: like I guess they have with the age kind of

835
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: as a detrimental thing. But I've lost gigs before for

836
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: not looking good enough or not looking a certain one

837
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: you're told people have. Like I've been in meetings where

838
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: people have been like, you should get botox there, Like really, God,

839
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if I was just like super insecure

840
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: therefore I opened myself up.

841
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 2: To horrendous first and foremost, Yeah, fuck that person. Look,

842
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: I know I haven't in an audition. I've worked on

843
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 2: shows I had a female director tell me that I

844
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: wasn't looking pretty when I was doing a scene and

845
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 2: that I was doing stuff with my face, And I said, what,

846
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 2: I don't care, because I'm actually not here to be pretty. Hilariously,

847
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 2: i was playing a witch, so I'm like.

848
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? But I was like, I don't.

849
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: I don't think about what I'm doing with my face.

850
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 2: I know some actors do, but I don't. I have

851
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: no idea, and I have a very moving my face

852
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 2: moves a lot. I'm a very sort of elastic, elastic,

853
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 2: Jim Carrey esque face person. So and I tried botox

854
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 2: once because I was so paranoid myself of this frownline

855
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 2: that I had. And then one of my friends got cancer.

856
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 2: She was like, You're not to do that anymore. And

857
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 2: I was like, well, fuck, I can't argue with you.

858
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: You've got cancer. Yeah. Yeah.

859
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 2: And also, for a myriad of reasons, I thought about

860
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 2: all the actors that I bloody love and admire and

861
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 2: they don't have well, if they do, it's very minimal.

862
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: I've work done.

863
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 2: And also what am I saying to but what am

864
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 2: I saying to younger actors who think might think I'm

865
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 2: good at my job, like I don't know, and I just.

866
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: That's a pretty strong message. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

867
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 2: And but also I'm like the same with my gray hair,

868
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 2: Like I've got quite a lot of gray hair. My

869
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 2: hair is lighter at the moment. I've got a lot

870
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,359
Speaker 2: of gray hair, O the heaps of it, and I'm

871
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: mad for it. I have this makeup artist who was like,

872
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, because I started going gray in

873
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: my twenties and so now quite a lot of Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

874
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 2: got quite a lot of gray. And I was like, oh,

875
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 2: so gray, you know. I was winging about it. And

876
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: she goes, oh, it's such a privilege, isn't it.

877
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: And I went, oh, actually, yeah, oh yeah it is.

878
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: Actually she's like, yeah, some people don't get to get

879
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 2: gray hair and get old.

880
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: Yeah wow.

881
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: And I went, yeah, no shit actually, And so I

882
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: I don't cover my grays like my at the moment,

883
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 2: you can't really see them because my hair is lighter

884
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 2: for this job that I just did.

885
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: But I'm like, fuck it. That's that's not to say.

886
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: That's not to say I will never die my hair

887
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: or I will never get botox. At some point I

888
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,280
Speaker 2: might be like I can't look at that anymore.

889
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: But for now, I'm trying to embrace all of the

890
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: bits of me that you know that.

891
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: I find, you know, esthetically challenging potentially.

892
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: I think that that's so powerful in this day and

893
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: age though when fake is celebrated, it really is.

894
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 2: And also I don't want to look I feel like

895
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 2: this is so kind of rude. And I really, honestly,

896
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 2: sincerely don't judge people who want to make adjustments to

897
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 2: their appearance go nuts. You know, I had my teeth straightened.

898
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: It when I was a child, I had new braces,

899
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 2: so like, you know, it's okay. I don't judge it,

900
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 2: but I do feel like there is a point where

901
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,919
Speaker 2: everyone starts sort of looking the same, and I I

902
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: actually don't want to look like anyone nice and like

903
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 2: I you know, they photoshop stuff with my face all

904
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 2: the time, Like, like my nose, particularly, you get photoshopped

905
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,760
Speaker 2: a lot. I've got quite a broad nose, and they'll

906
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 2: often like, there's a photo of me on the cover

907
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 2: of magazine and they have photoshopped my nose. So I

908
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 2: was pulling your hair off. My fell off, my head

909
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 2: fell off, my head. They photoshopped my nose to be thinner.

910
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 2: Because that's what's more attractive generally speaking. But I'm like,

911
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 2: what is that saying to people who have a wider nose,

912
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 2: who darker skin and white like me?

913
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: You know, like who like you're incredible to even be

914
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: to be?

915
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 2: What is it saying to me though?

916
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: As well? Like not just other people?

917
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you saying to me? That's not pretty enough?

918
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 2: So we'll just fix that up. I'm like, hang on, and.

919
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: You've kind of you're shining a light on the Gnarlia

920
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: side of the entertainment industry and media as well, not

921
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 1: just entertainment. I think, you know, I did. I did

922
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 1: a naked photo shoot for Women's Health, and I saw

923
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: the Prince before they went to press, and it was

924
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 1: an amazing team. They were so lovely to work with.

925
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: I was shitting myself because I was starkers. But we

926
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,720
Speaker 1: saw the prints right before and I was laying down

927
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: and like my legs kicked up and it was like

928
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: really nice and stuff. But right before they went to

929
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 1: print where you got to see the final shots, and

930
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 1: they pulled like a fat line out of my back

931
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: because I was like arching up out and and like

932
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 1: I was pretty young, and I was like, ye, Okay,

933
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: do whatever it's going to make it look better. And

934
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: I didn't really you know, and it looks like a

935
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: beautiful photo. And I'm on the shoot. I was probably

936
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 1: the largest girl on there, so I went in like really,

937
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 1: like holy shit, quite insecure man. So it's so interesting

938
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: because and I find it so inspiring because I have

939
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: absolutely allowed photos to be touched up, and I've seen you.

940
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 2: Often don't get a say either, Like I didn't know

941
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: they were going to do that. I don't look like

942
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: the same person. I would not have let that happen.

943
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 2: But it was released and they've done it. They don't

944
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 2: check with you. You often don't have a say.

945
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: That's true, you've signed. You're kind of lying.

946
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: Well, you just go do the shoot. You feel fabulous.

947
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: They're like, look amazing photos and you go. You see

948
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 2: them there and you're like, oh, that's cool.

949
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,280
Speaker 1: I look right, the lighting's.

950
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 2: Good, great, and you go home and then it comes

951
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: out in the magazine and you're like, what happened to

952
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 2: my fucking nose?

953
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: But I think the other thing, if just now on

954
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: the head, is too what people see in shoots. There

955
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: is lighting, there is a hair and makeup to you

956
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: might have a spray Dann like, there are all these

957
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 1: things that are done to make you look almost inhuman. Yeah,

958
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 1: which is where I think like Instagram stuff is kind

959
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 1: of cool because you can speak to camera and there's

960
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: not well you can choose if there's a filter, but

961
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 1: there you can make it no filter if you want to.

962
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 2: But even you know, and I do love it. Something

963
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 2: depends on whose instro it is. You know, your Insta

964
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 2: is really honest and real, and mine's pretty straight.

965
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: Up as well.

966
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, everyone's like just living their best lives

967
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 2: though for the most part, and so that's where the

968
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 2: danger is. You go, these people look amazing, just like

969
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: sitting at home on the couch, I'm like, that bitch

970
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 2: has got a fucking halo light going and she's got

971
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: seventeen filters. She's smudged some vassoline on that freaking camera lens. Mate, Like,

972
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 2: I don't make out their features. I'm like, that's not real.

973
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: The interesting thing, And I don't know if you have

974
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 1: experience as well, when you meet a really someone that's

975
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 1: quite famous in Instagram in real life and you're like,

976
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 1: oh shit, you look really different. I have that experience.

977
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: It's fascinating. It's like the I guess it's and I

978
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 1: lot look. I eat up the content of the Kardashians

979
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: as far as like I love the shot, like I

980
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 1: actually enjoy finan switch off. I'm going to chuck reality,

981
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: but like it's that movement where you see someone that's

982
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 1: obviously modeled themselves off that Kudashy and esque walk, and

983
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 1: then you see them in real life and it's not

984
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: the same as the photos, and there's a whole that's

985
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 1: that totally totally happens, and I'm like, shit, I don't

986
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: want I don't want to look different to the way.

987
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: I'd rather be the real deal and get a few

988
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 1: less likes or be the real deal and.

989
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 2: People like that more because there's so much of the

990
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 2: shake bullshit out there. And that's not to say, don't

991
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 2: get me wrong. I will often post a photo of

992
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 2: myself looking fucking great if there is one. I'm like, yellow, everybody,

993
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 2: this is what I look like on Saturday. But I

994
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 2: don't pretend that that's how I wake up.

995
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Same because I was blown

996
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: away not fair someone said just last week and they

997
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we love that you don't wear much

998
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: makeup and I was like, what because I get up

999
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: every morning, flick a mascara eyelight, which is what I've

1000
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: got on now, boom out the door, moisturize up. But

1001
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 1: that's it. And they're like, oh, it's interesting you don't

1002
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: wear any But I'm like, shit, like and when does

1003
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: that become? No? Like it was just fascinating. But then

1004
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: and this is where I think, and this is the

1005
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 1: last thing I asked you about career stuff. But and

1006
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: I it was an American acting teacher that came to

1007
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: Australia and he spoke and he said, people that book

1008
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: the job have a presence and that presence is them

1009
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 1: fucking selves. And it's exactly it's I think that is

1010
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: like the magic lixa yes to go for a gig,

1011
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: whether it be in the creative sphere or not. Like

1012
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: I think being yourself that's the like magic.

1013
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 2: Well, bringing it's it's because you're not Yeah, for me,

1014
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 2: it's not being yourself, but it's bringing authenticity and bringing

1015
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 2: what you have to offer to this particular character because

1016
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 2: you're not playing yourself. You're playing a character, but you're

1017
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:49,240
Speaker 2: bringing a part of you into that character. And it's funny,

1018
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 2: you know. I used to go to auditions trying to

1019
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 2: give them, you know, like trying to give them what

1020
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 2: I think they want, right, like nactual.

1021
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 1: Scene, you know, it's the cop it's this I'm trying.

1022
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: To be to even go in and hope, what are

1023
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 2: they looking for? I think they might want this, and

1024
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 2: try and do that. I don't do that anymore. I

1025
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 2: don't do that anymore because I listened to Brian Cranston

1026
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 2: talk about and I used to not really like auditions,

1027
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 2: and Brian Cranston was like, auditioning is an opportunity to act,

1028
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 2: so you might as well enjoy it.

1029
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 1: Otherwise, what the fuck you're doing it for.

1030
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm gonna so it's a choice. So

1031
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 2: I've chosen to enjoy auditions and auditioning, and it's an

1032
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: opportunity for me to be an actor because sometimes there's

1033
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 2: big gaps between jobs and so the audition is a

1034
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 2: chance to act. So great, I'm using that. And he

1035
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 2: also was talking about how he used to try and

1036
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 2: do exactly what I'm doing and what a lot of

1037
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: actors do, and try and give them what people please. Yeah, well,

1038
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 2: just try to deliver what they think is they're looking

1039
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 2: for instead of going here's what I reckon.

1040
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,479
Speaker 1: You could try with this. What do you think? I like? So?

1041
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 1: And also I go in and.

1042
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: See if I want to work with these people, because

1043
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 2: it's not me working for you, it's us working together.

1044
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 2: So if I'm going into an audition for a director,

1045
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a two way audition.

1046
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 1: Because I might not want to I might not want

1047
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: to work with this person. And that also speaks too.

1048
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 2: It's not too old. I don't want to have a good time,

1049
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like I want to

1050
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 2: have a good time.

1051
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want work. It also means that there's an

1052
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 1: equality in the space as opposed to me really hoping

1053
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: that you want to hire.

1054
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 2: I mean there's not because it is ultimately inspiring you. Yes, yeah,

1055
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 2: but at the end of the day if you bring something.

1056
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 2: But I always think about it as well and go,

1057
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 2: I imagine, I'm going to do this job for like five, six,

1058
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 2: seven years. Right, If I'm going to do this for

1059
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: seven years, what, well, how will it be fun for

1060
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 2: me to play this?

1061
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,439
Speaker 1: Yeah? Totally? Oh God, that do that?

1062
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 4: I just so you can give me the little tips like.

1063
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: I love this ship.

1064
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 2: I love it, It's why I do it.

1065
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: But it is so inspired. It is so inspiring to

1066
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: hear you because it's almost like you're slaying the bullshit around. Well,

1067
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: I'm also regurgitating shit I've learned from other people. Don't

1068
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: get me wrong.

1069
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 2: This is not pearls of wisdom that I'm.

1070
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 1: Just I'll take them red stuff and just in.

1071
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 2: Just in my experiences and my own little learnings on

1072
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 2: the way I pick things up from other people, and

1073
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm keeping that. I'm keeping that, Brian Cranston.

1074
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 2: But guess I'm going to tell Lola about it and

1075
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 2: then hopefully other people will listen and then they can

1076
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 2: take that. But totally, and I think as how the

1077
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 2: world works, isn't it.

1078
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 1: But when you say like, as well, I'm too old

1079
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: to deal with like do shit you don't want to

1080
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: do anymore. But I think we all should live like

1081
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 1: everyone should have that mentality, Like my my history is

1082
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: eating disorders, and my therapists like, have you started to

1083
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: notice the pattern that you eat bad food on the

1084
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 1: days where you're doing something that is in service of

1085
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: what you don't like? Is like your self medicating WHOA

1086
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,839
Speaker 1: when you're doing shit you don't want to do, And

1087
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: it's like can often it's out of a sense of compensating,

1088
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: which I put up before, and that's the whole reason

1089
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: I do acting schools. I'm like, oh, this feels good

1090
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,879
Speaker 1: in my heart. I'm just going to do it. And

1091
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: I think that that's where like life is too short

1092
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: and you mentioned like you're best mate, like cancer, and

1093
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 1: was like, you know, you've just mentioned that before, and

1094
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 1: I think, fuck, like life is short. Yes, all of

1095
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: us like stop doing shit you don't want to do

1096
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: and just start doing well. And that's what ties into

1097
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: And I'm certainly not saying I'm doing things I don't

1098
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: want to do. Like every job I do, I choose

1099
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 1: to do it and I love it. But but what

1100
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: I was talking about earlier with my career stuff of

1101
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: my failure to be brave is what am I waiting for? Permission?

1102
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 1: Fucking got me. I'm so excited for what comes next

1103
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,720
Speaker 1: from me. I don't know, God knows, could take a while,

1104
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: but I'll get too scared. No, we don't. I'm going

1105
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 1: to teach you a word I'm obsessed with. It's number layer.

1106
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,399
Speaker 1: It's an Indigenous Australian word and it means to live

1107
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 1: free of fear. I love that number layer. I love

1108
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: that's new mantra mate mate it in the mix. This

1109
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 1: has gone so fast, We've got no I love it.

1110
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 1: I do want to speak to your personal what you

1111
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: feel like as your personal Okay, and what's not even

1112
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: called it a failure. Oh that's a failure. Amazing, amazing.

1113
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 2: Well I'm currently I'm married to a delightful human being.

1114
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 2: We eloped in April. We ran away and got Mary York.

1115
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: We went to New York and got married, and he's

1116
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 1: an extraordinary human being. I'm very like central.

1117
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 2: We got married under a tree in City Park, just

1118
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 2: the two of us, with a ninety year old woman

1119
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 2: as our celebrant, who was so adorable. I can't even

1120
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 2: tell you. It was wonderful. But I've been married before.

1121
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, I have googled you. There you go.

1122
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 2: So my failure is my previous marriage, and I own

1123
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 2: that failure because for the most part it was my doing.

1124
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 2: It was the undoing of that relationship. Now I do

1125
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 2: not regret it. I would never take it back. And

1126
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 2: I think, I imagine this is a common theme with

1127
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 2: people when you're having these conversations about failings, is that

1128
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 2: even the failings you want to keep them because you know,

1129
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,720
Speaker 2: all I did was learn, you know, out of them.

1130
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 2: But yeah, I failed that first marriage, that relationship, and

1131
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 2: I want to be careful about how I speak about

1132
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 2: it because there are two people involved in it, and

1133
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to speak to the other person because

1134
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 2: that's his experience, you know what I mean, And I

1135
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 2: can't ever know really his experience of it. But I

1136
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 2: can in this moment say that I that I feel

1137
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 2: that I failed him and the relationship, but I'm also

1138
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 2: really grateful for the failing because even though I imagine

1139
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 2: I believe I caused harm and upset and heartache, my

1140
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 2: understanding is he has moved on and is very happy

1141
00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:00,799
Speaker 2: in having a wonderful relationship and great life as am

1142
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: I and he taught me so much about love and

1143
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 2: it actually that falling apart. I fell apart like massively,

1144
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,240
Speaker 2: and I was forced to fucking deal with my stuff.

1145
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: So that's a massive gift, such a gift, like yeah,

1146
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:20,479
Speaker 1: and it sounds like such a hippy thing to say,

1147
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 1: but he gave me the best gift ever and I

1148
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: have I am a.

1149
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 2: Different person because of that, and I and I.

1150
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 1: I hope he doesn't regret it. I like to think

1151
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:36,320
Speaker 1: he doesn't.

1152
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 2: I hope he's in the place where he's like, oh,

1153
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 2: this is right, and hopefully my little speed bump on

1154
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 2: the way was the path to that totally.

1155
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: But I think, yeah, for me it was. It was

1156
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 1: the worst and best thing that ever happened to me.

1157
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: And I think matters of the heart are that, like,

1158
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:58,280
Speaker 1: I think that you can feel crazy pain because especially

1159
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: as I imagine just from the short time hanging with you,

1160
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 1: that you would feel huge gills around hurting another human being.

1161
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 1: I imagine that would be the worst, the worst, and

1162
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,760
Speaker 1: shame and guilt almost those things that.

1163
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 2: That was the most painful bit, not having a breakdown,

1164
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 2: not being depressed and hating on myself was the guilt

1165
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: of what I had, how I had affected this wonderful

1166
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 2: human being.

1167
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 1: And the thing is as well, And I've listened to

1168
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 1: a few podcasts with you, and so I've heard you

1169
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: speak in a little bit and you speak so beautifully

1170
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: about about him, and I think that that's a testimony.

1171
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: Is that the word testimony, ye, testament testament to you

1172
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: because it's rare that something ends and you're so grateful

1173
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 1: for something that was uncomfortable, and I couldn't be at

1174
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,439
Speaker 1: the time, No, but no one. It has to sett all.

1175
00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: But I even remember my boyfriend that i'm with currently

1176
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: and I just started dating when you and I yest

1177
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 1: and you made or something so gorgeous.

1178
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 2: And I was giving you so much about how horde

1179
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 2: he was, and then I just felt so bad.

1180
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 1: That it's going to be so happy that we've just

1181
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: touched on that.

1182
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 2: Mate, you're very handsome. You're very handsome. Hope not embarrassing it.

1183
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:21,319
Speaker 1: Oh no, You've just made his day. But I said

1184
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 1: to my we first got together, I said, I'm so

1185
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: grateful for the people that I've dated before meeting you,

1186
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 1: And He's like what I was like, they have helped

1187
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: shaped me and they've forced me. That was what forced

1188
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: me to say a therapist. It's forced me to face

1189
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: my shit and to figure out who I am. And

1190
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,759
Speaker 1: you're getting a you're getting a version of me that

1191
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't have existed without these human beings having an effect.

1192
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 1: I think it's the same. I mean, I'm on much

1193
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: greater scale.

1194
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 2: For you, because married, some scale is nothing. It's it

1195
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 2: is what it is. But I think I also I

1196
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:58,280
Speaker 2: don't think my relationship with Toby my husband, that wouldn't

1197
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 2: have lasted five minutes if I've met him, Well, we've

1198
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:02,399
Speaker 2: known each other a long time.

1199
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 1: But if we'd got together.

1200
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 2: Fifteen years ago, seventeen years ago, we've been we've known

1201
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 2: each other for seventeen years, we've been together for four years,

1202
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,919
Speaker 2: married for six months. But I don't think we would

1203
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 2: have lasted five minutes without what I'd been to because

1204
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 2: I I my behavior within relationships was coming out of

1205
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 2: something deep, you know what I mean.

1206
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: We had to work on face. Yeah.

1207
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, without going into all the detail, which I happily would.

1208
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 2: I'm an open book, but it's a very long story.

1209
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 2: But I think I've said to him, I said, you

1210
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 2: and I would not have lasted. You wouldn't have stuck

1211
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 2: around with me for more than five minutes because I

1212
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 2: wasn't in the right place.

1213
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 4: Yeah ready, yeah again that looking back there, Well, it's

1214
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 4: just that that brick like he literally is like, it's

1215
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 4: not too you can connect dots and even for me,

1216
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 4: like in my breakups, I'm like, am I going to

1217
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 4: be like a spinster forever?

1218
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 1: Single spinster forever? And it's not. And I said, Matt

1219
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: and I my boyfriend I met on bumble one bumble

1220
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 1: each other's first bumbled I stop. Yeah, And the first

1221
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: feeling I got when I sat next to him was like, oh,

1222
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: I can be myself. It wasn't like this guy's hot

1223
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: and I wasn't like I wasn't feeling it that one's

1224
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 1: for you. But there's something beautiful about yeah that like

1225
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: I would, I would happily walk up to every single

1226
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 1: X and be like thank you, like you were that nice.

1227
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 2: You know, that's that's a nice way to look at

1228
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 2: it as well and appreciate it.

1229
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: And can I ask one thing about Toby because I

1230
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 1: found something online when it's a quote, there's something that

1231
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: he said about you, and I was like, oh my god, Okay.

1232
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 1: So so, Mikayla is the first woman I've ever been

1233
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 1: in love with who has been a proper partner in

1234
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: every sense of the word. We can lean on each

1235
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 1: other and I've never leaned on people before because I

1236
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: thought it would put too much strain on the relationship.

1237
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 1: Mikayla taught me that trust makes a couple stronger. Oh

1238
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 1: he's pretty excellent. Sounds like a dreamboat to me. I

1239
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 1: mean that's the thing, isn't it.

1240
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 5: You know, that's the real deal it is, And you know,

1241
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 5: I am completely myself with him, like we're mental, We're

1242
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 5: absolutely just, But that's what you're silly.

1243
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:30,840
Speaker 1: We're completely silly.

1244
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely in tears right now, but we're silly because

1245
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 2: I love to be silly and we play like kids.

1246
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 1: It's the essence. It's like the essence of you is.

1247
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,600
Speaker 2: And we lean on each other big time, and I'm

1248
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 2: learning to do that because I've never done that myself either.

1249
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 2: I've never leaned on anyone. I'm fiercely independent. I've not

1250
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 2: leaned on anybody. And it takes learning. Does it's taken learning?

1251
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,479
Speaker 1: Also help that you've both he's an actor as well,

1252
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: Does it help that there's an understand Yeah, Look for.

1253
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 2: Sure, I think we understand each other's worlds and we

1254
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 2: can be supportive because we know whatever each other is

1255
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 2: experiencing with work and all that sort of stuff. But ultimately,

1256
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,959
Speaker 2: you know, I know couples who one as an actor

1257
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 2: and one is completely not in the industry. It's it

1258
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 2: just comes down to the person, it really does. And

1259
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 2: I think I think he's helping me get better at

1260
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,919
Speaker 2: not knowing because I you know, I spent my life

1261
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 2: to trying to know stuff and have answers and know

1262
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 2: where things are going and know what's going to happen,

1263
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 2: and you can't in life, you just can't.

1264
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 1: Well, there's a beauty in not knowing to There's a magic,

1265
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: there really is.

1266
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 2: And when I was going through that really difficult time

1267
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 2: when I when I've broken up with my first husband,

1268
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 2: that one like till I have no no no with

1269
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 2: my first marriage, when that broke down, and and I

1270
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 2: broke down, and I was talking to a friend she

1271
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 2: and she was kind of not that she'd been through

1272
01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 2: the same thing, but she was going through a massive

1273
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 2: transition as well, and she's like, I just want to

1274
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 2: pull you six months down down the line to where

1275
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,440
Speaker 2: I am, to show you how amazing it's going to be.

1276
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 2: And I kind of sums and I hung on to that,

1277
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 2: you know, But it was the not knowing what was

1278
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 2: going to happen that that that feels scary and.

1279
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:16,600
Speaker 1: When you eat it. And I've actually heard an interview

1280
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 1: where you say, when you're in the depths of kind

1281
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 1: of like pain or pression or feeling shit, it's very

1282
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 1: hard to see it's the other side of that, of course,

1283
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 1: and it sounds like you've done the work on yourself.

1284
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm sure I'll go there again. There'll be times,

1285
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I've been in a

1286
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 2: really good yeah, and I've been in a really good

1287
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 2: place for ages. And you know, nothing, nothing stays the same.

1288
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 2: Good stuff doesn't stay, bad stuff doesn't stay. Whatever it is,

1289
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 2: it's going to change. Good, bad, ugly, amazing, horrible, terrifying,

1290
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 2: you know, excruciat, whatever it is, it's going to change. Absolutely.

1291
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 2: You cannot go through life without change.

1292
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 1: So and I think, like you said, like being okay

1293
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 1: with that being like as opposed. Well, no, no, no, I've

1294
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 1: crossed my t's, I've dot in my eyes and I

1295
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 1: am that person. So it's a learning for me. It's

1296
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 1: still it's a process and I'm still learning. Yeah. You

1297
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: are wonderful. You're a very wonderful human.

1298
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 2: I'm a wonderful human too. Oh this is delightful.

1299
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: It feels really nice conversation. You've inspired me more than

1300
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 1: you probably realize. If you have to stay in touch

1301
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 1: with me, and I will talk about acting forever clearly.

1302
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I'm mad for it. I actually was

1303
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 1: going to end it with just one last question, and

1304
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 1: it is just because I have been in this I

1305
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 1: am in with the acting space. You're in a world

1306
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: where there is so much uncertainty and you don't know,

1307
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 1: you're kind of finding your feet and you do feel

1308
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 1: a bit like you don't know exactly what comes next

1309
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: and what the next step is. And then even in

1310
01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 1: any kind I think that can be in any kind

1311
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 1: of like if you're trying to make it as a

1312
01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 1: whatever it is.

1313
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 2: Like any industry, not just entertaining totally.

1314
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 1: Like what is that one like little gem that I mean,

1315
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 1: I think we can see there's a million little gems

1316
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 1: you've shared today, but like just that one thing that's like, yeah,

1317
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 1: like I can Is it just like be truthful within yourself?

1318
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: Is it just? Yeah? I guess.

1319
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 2: I remember Dad said to me once luck is a

1320
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 2: meeting of opportunity and preparation.

1321
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, that's.

1322
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 2: Cool, because I think if you work really hard, and

1323
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:29,320
Speaker 2: you do you're a hard worker.

1324
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 1: It's in you.

1325
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 2: If you work really hard and an opportunity arises, you'll

1326
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 2: be ready.

1327
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, when the.

1328
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:40,439
Speaker 2: Opportunity comes and how it comes, you can't know. Yeah,

1329
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 2: you know, I don't have any like magical perls of wisdom,

1330
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:49,320
Speaker 2: but I think I have been very lucky because I

1331
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 2: have worked my balls off and when opportunity has come

1332
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 2: to me, I you're been able to meet it, you

1333
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 2: know what I mean? And I think there's a lot

1334
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:03,000
Speaker 2: to be said for being pleasant and kind to work with,

1335
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:04,880
Speaker 2: not just as a human in your life and your

1336
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 2: every day with people you love at work, Like I

1337
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 2: just think that has got me where I am A

1338
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 2: lot of A lot of where I am is because

1339
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 2: of I like to think I'm enjoyable to work with.

1340
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:19,160
Speaker 1: You're a good human mate. Well, I try to be. Yeah,

1341
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 1: I'm not always.

1342
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 2: I have bad days, but I want to go to

1343
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 2: work and have a good time, even if it's doing

1344
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 2: something really heavy duty. And you know, I did a

1345
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 2: play that was like really hardcore, like dark Irish play,

1346
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 2: but we enjoyed it because we were in it together.

1347
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,920
Speaker 2: We brought some love into the room even though it

1348
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 2: was really heavy material. And I think if you're pleasant

1349
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 2: to work with, people want.

1350
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 1: To work with you again.

1351
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I try to be good at my job,

1352
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 2: but I try to be kind at my job.

1353
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: I love it. It's so much it's like work hard

1354
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: the luckialing be kind. It takes a lot more effort

1355
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 1: to be an asshole. I see it. Yeah, I've seen it.

1356
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, isn't that tiring? Just be nice? It's so funny.

1357
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 1: I used to be when when like a work you

1358
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:05,600
Speaker 1: and come up, I'd be like no, I'd fight it

1359
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 1: like and be quite assertive, and I'd be like, I'm

1360
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 1: assurdy if I can tell them they're doing the wrong thing.

1361
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 1: Whereas now I'm like, thanks, see you later, Like I'll

1362
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 1: actually go, oh, I'm choosing not to work with that person.

1363
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 2: Well that's the other thing. Like, you know, being kind

1364
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 2: isn't being a pushover. Being kind is being firm and clear.

1365
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 2: I'm very specific, how you know with certain things at work.

1366
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:28,360
Speaker 2: You know, I get ideas in my head and I

1367
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 2: want to execute them, and so I have to have

1368
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,479
Speaker 2: conversations with costume department and go, so I've got this idea,

1369
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 2: I really want to do this in this and I

1370
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 2: can be very specific and so I want people to

1371
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 2: get on board, and you know, but I do it

1372
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 2: and do it with kindness. I can be clear and

1373
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,400
Speaker 2: concise and it's firm but kind.

1374
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 1: So you're already living steer Asuka. So I'm trying off

1375
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 1: the strength and I think you're right, so that clarity

1376
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 1: with kindness is a beautiful combo. Yeah, oh my goodness,

1377
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 1: I could talk to you all day. You are incredible.

1378
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 1: Thank you so so much, and I hope everybody just like,

1379
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 1: can we see you anywhere? What can we see you?

1380
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:08,479
Speaker 2: I've got a show coming out next year on Channel seven,

1381
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 2: a comedy called fam Time, which I'm excited and scared

1382
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,840
Speaker 2: about because it's my first kind of lead comedy thing.

1383
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:16,040
Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna watch.

1384
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 2: And I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you,

1385
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,080
Speaker 2: but I'll tell you anyway.

1386
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:25,720
Speaker 1: I'm currently working on Halifax. Oh my goodness. I was

1387
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 1: going to say that's a different tone, isn't it at

1388
01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 1: the moment. No, No, it's very serious.

1389
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 2: I have a gun.

1390
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,320
Speaker 1: How does that feel? It's so fun. I don't know

1391
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:38,400
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, but it's great, amazing. Okay, We've got

1392
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: so much to look forward to with you. Then, thank

1393
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 1: you so much, Thank you, d wonderful. That's a wrap

1394
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 1: on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always, thank you

1395
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:54,600
Speaker 1: to our guests, and let's continue the conversation on Instagram.

1396
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm at Yamo, Lolla Berry this potty. My word for

1397
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:04,200
Speaker 1: podcast fast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love

1398
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:07,280
Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rate and comment, and of

1399
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:08,919
Speaker 1: course spread the love.