Speaker 1: A good pickup with Britt Hogley and Laura ben Rady.
Speaker 2: Your worth, our windows done, my world reason the dust
Speaker 2: only good, bab I don't much, but yeah, our.
Speaker 3: Big get and what I want It don't matter where.
Speaker 3: This is the pick up.
Speaker 2: Hi, guys, it's the pick up with Bread Halfley and
Speaker 2: Laura Ben.
Speaker 3: Happy Thursday, one day away from the big V day.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah? Do you know what else?
Speaker 3: It's one day closer towards your husband returning.
Speaker 2: I'm Joe.
Speaker 1: I feel like all I have done for the last
Speaker 1: four weeks is talk about my husband, Matthew Johnson. If
Speaker 1: you're not aware, he's currently in the I'm Celebrity Jungle.
Speaker 2: What is he?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Did you not know? Go vote on ten play everyone
Speaker 2: to vote.
Speaker 1: He's been away for so long. But also, so I
Speaker 1: live with Matt's mum. Well, actually that's not that you.
Speaker 1: Matt's mum moved in with us about a year ago,
Speaker 1: and so I lived with my mother in law and
Speaker 1: we have had four weeks of just hanging out, the
Speaker 1: two of us with the kids. And recently we were
Speaker 1: chatting and I was like, do you feel like you miss.
Speaker 2: Matt at all?
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, I don't really miss him.
Speaker 1: She's like, we're having a great time. We have everything
Speaker 1: under control. And I thought that was really cute. I
Speaker 1: thought it was cute that now like Matt's mum and
Speaker 1: I are really we're like bessies.
Speaker 2: We brow down.
Speaker 3: So you've like knuckled him out, nudged you out.
Speaker 2: I don't need him. I'm just raising children alongside my
Speaker 2: mother in law. My husband's gone, he's never coming back.
Speaker 3: You're tried wifing now with his mom.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not tad wife. Actually, to be fair, Ellie
Speaker 1: does the trad wifing. She's she was an angel. I
Speaker 1: come home and dinner is cooked and the cow's been
Speaker 1: milked out.
Speaker 2: I just sit on the couch and I'm like, when's
Speaker 2: it ready?
Speaker 3: Now that's not true. Hey, we have a really big
Speaker 3: show for you coming up. We haven't asked guncut today.
Speaker 3: That I think is very relatable. What do you do
Speaker 3: when you're in the honeymoon phase, like where it's all
Speaker 3: sexy and steamy, you need to go away together on
Speaker 3: a holiday for a couple of weeks and you've only
Speaker 3: got one toilet mate.
Speaker 2: I have a story about that. Oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 2: Something happened to me.
Speaker 1: Funnily enough, we were in Africa, but it was horrifying, horrifying.
Speaker 3: Well, it is time for my favorite segment. This is
Speaker 3: ask gun Cut. We do it every single week on
Speaker 3: our podcast Life on Cup podcast. Were you guys riding?
Speaker 3: Or you call up with your deepest, darkest burning questions
Speaker 3: and we do our best to answer them. Now, in
Speaker 3: the spirit of it being Valentine's Day tomorrow, we thought
Speaker 3: we would do a relationship based question, maybe not so
Speaker 3: romantic because it's about travel and poop. Amy, Beautiful, Amy,
Speaker 3: Welcome to the pickup.
Speaker 4: Thank you guys.
Speaker 2: What's your hia.
Speaker 4: I've been with my partner for fifteen months. We don't
Speaker 4: live together, but we're going to New York next month.
Speaker 4: We're going to be together for almost two weeks, and
Speaker 4: I've never pooed while he's been with me, farted in
Speaker 4: front of him. So I've started to get really anxious
Speaker 4: because the time's coming around really quick, and I don't
Speaker 4: know what to do.
Speaker 1: Do you know what they say, Amy, holidays are all
Speaker 1: about discovering new experiences together, and you guys are going
Speaker 1: to discover that's for sure.
Speaker 3: If seen months is a long time to have been
Speaker 3: holding a poo in I'm actually.
Speaker 2: I'm sure she's been to the toilet in that time.
Speaker 3: Britt No, I'm actually more impressed with the control that
Speaker 3: she's got of her bowels. Like if you're saying, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm just not going to do it while I'm with him,
Speaker 3: I don't have that control, like when it comes for me,
Speaker 3: I just need to go. So that's pretty impressive.
Speaker 2: Amy.
Speaker 1: Have you looked at the accommodation that you guys are
Speaker 1: staying in while you're away, like you know how sometimes
Speaker 1: you can go and it's like a glassroom or a
Speaker 1: glass door, or have you looked at like the circumstances
Speaker 1: of the toilet bathroom area I have.
Speaker 4: It's right outside the bedroom and it's a tiny, tiny apartment.
Speaker 2: Horrify.
Speaker 3: No, I know what to do here. I know what
Speaker 3: to do. I had to travel for many months with
Speaker 3: a partner and it was we weren't together that long.
Speaker 3: You just have to own the fact that everyone poops.
Speaker 3: But this is what you say, Hey, I've got to
Speaker 3: go to the bathroom. Can you put on some music?
Speaker 3: He puts his headphones in, puts his music on. You
Speaker 3: go do your business, because you're only human. He knows
Speaker 3: you've got a poop, or you ask him to leave,
Speaker 3: to leave the apartment. However, many minutes and days.
Speaker 1: Amy, can I tell you a horrifying story which is
Speaker 1: just absolutely not going to make you feel any better,
Speaker 1: but it is relevant. When I had just started dating mad,
Speaker 1: we'd only been together for six months, we traveled over
Speaker 1: to South Africa together for a holiday and we were
Speaker 1: staying in a hotel. And do not ask me why
Speaker 1: they thought that this was a good design concept. But
Speaker 1: the bathroom, the toilet was a glass frosted box.
Speaker 2: Like the whole thing was a glass box.
Speaker 1: Common I had the worst food poisoning I have ever
Speaker 1: had in my entire life. And it hit me at midnight,
Speaker 1: and I was pantless and topless and it was coming
Speaker 1: out both ends, and the poor man had to sit
Speaker 1: in bed and he could just see the outline of
Speaker 1: me in a non contained glass box.
Speaker 2: It was horrifying. And look at us now only upwards
Speaker 2: from there.
Speaker 4: And remember you do love me.
Speaker 2: I was no, do you know what happened?
Speaker 1: I was like, get out, and the poor thing had
Speaker 1: to sit outside in the.
Speaker 2: Dark, in the middle of the mind. It's so funny.
Speaker 3: You just reminded me when I went to the Valdis
Speaker 3: with my fiance Ben. Oh god, instead of being in
Speaker 3: a instead of being in a glass box. The whole
Speaker 3: floor is glass. So if one's on the toilet and
Speaker 3: one just swims underneath the bungalow because it's an over
Speaker 3: one a bungalow, you just look straight up. I'm on
Speaker 3: the toilet benchously scooting pass with snorkel on.
Speaker 1: Who's just signing these holiday houses? Amy, trust us, You're
Speaker 1: going to be fine. And you know what's even better
Speaker 1: than that, it's that you have just won one thousand
Speaker 1: dollars to spend with Jetstar Holidays.
Speaker 4: Oh really, you're so.
Speaker 2: Welcome to upgrade your hotel.
Speaker 3: You hopefully can get one.
Speaker 4: I have to get over the poofia this trip then,
Speaker 4: because yeah, you definitely have to go to be coming
Speaker 4: with me next time.
Speaker 2: Do you know we did.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, we didn't actually even give you any advice.
Speaker 3: Just own it, everyone, poobs, it's just put some headphones in,
Speaker 3: ask him to go out, but own the fact. Just
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I gotta go the toilet. You me, fine,
Speaker 3: got two options, leave the room or put your headphones in.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be fine, it's gonna make either make or
Speaker 1: break the relationship.
Speaker 2: And I think it's going to be a good thing
Speaker 2: for you guys.
Speaker 4: Oh I hope. So like, yeah, I just have to
Speaker 4: get over it. It's a normal thing, and just yeah,
Speaker 4: remind myself that, Yeah, it's more prins in. That's going
Speaker 4: to be, yeah, the easiest way.
Speaker 3: And a little perfume to spray around after.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, we'll get that some of that beauty.
Speaker 3: Free saying Samy, Okay, I need to give you an
Speaker 3: update on the spider infestation in my house. To cut
Speaker 3: a very complicated long story short, I moved into Laura's
Speaker 3: old apartment now Laura while she was living there, had
Speaker 3: when I say infestation of Huntsman's that's using the term lightly.
Speaker 3: There was one day where like fifty of them crawled
Speaker 3: out from behind your TV, didn't they It.
Speaker 1: Was horrifying, and at that point I was like, I
Speaker 1: will burn this apartment down. No, actually, in fact, I
Speaker 1: will move out, And for.
Speaker 2: Some reason, you were like, I will come and live here.
Speaker 2: This looks great. I'll get a discount.
Speaker 3: So I've been seeing them everywhere I can horrify. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I cannot get rid of them. They've been having sex
Speaker 3: next to my face in bed. No that we talked
Speaker 3: about that on radio a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I know it's still burned to my retinas. I don't
Speaker 1: need to revisit it.
Speaker 3: Well, actually we don't know if they were fornicating or
Speaker 3: eating each other. I can't be sure. So anyway, moving forward,
Speaker 3: they've been They're scary when you see them. Last night,
Speaker 3: I was like, went to my bedroom cupboard, was on
Speaker 3: FaceTime to Ben. Opened the door of my cupboard to
Speaker 3: get something out of my clothes really fast. Wasn't paying
Speaker 3: attention to put my hand in there is the biggest
Speaker 3: thing you've ever seen. Look at the size of this.
Speaker 3: It's the size of a dinner plate.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do you think that's a huntsman?
Speaker 2: Or is that something that'll kill you?
Speaker 3: I'm going to die. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 3: It doesn't look like any huntsman I've seen. It looks
Speaker 3: like it could be a funnel web. I think it's
Speaker 3: a bird eating spider.
Speaker 2: It's not a burning spider. That's what it is.
Speaker 3: I've absolutely lost the plot. Ben's gone into panic mode now, Ben,
Speaker 3: my fiancee, He's Swiss and he's petrified.
Speaker 2: How did he even know he's on the other side
Speaker 2: of the world.
Speaker 3: I'm on FaceTime to him happy in live. So I
Speaker 3: started screaming and he thought I was being attacked. He's like,
Speaker 3: do I need to call the police? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe maybe we need to burn his house down. Anyway,
Speaker 3: they are going to be people that don't like this.
Speaker 3: But I did kill the spider.
Speaker 2: I can't kill the spider, Brittany or right.
Speaker 3: If that it gets on my face, I'm dead. Look,
Speaker 3: oh okay, next time, I'll call you over to save it.
Speaker 3: How about that?
Speaker 2: I will. I'm very big on getting like a plastic container.
Speaker 1: In your case, it would have had to have been
Speaker 1: a top topwear container big.
Speaker 2: Enough to fit a lamb roast.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm very big on like getting a TopWare
Speaker 1: container and sliding the paper underneath and then letting it
Speaker 1: out into the guard.
Speaker 3: Is that what you did with your fifty huntsmen infestation.
Speaker 2: And then they all came back.
Speaker 1: The thing I'm more worried about for you, though, is because,
Speaker 1: like so to set the context, Ben lives overseas.
Speaker 2: He's from a place where the only thing that you
Speaker 2: have his cows like.
Speaker 1: He's not used to being around any type of insects
Speaker 1: or spiders or anything, and understandably so he has a
Speaker 1: deep phobia of it. And so anytime he comes to
Speaker 1: Australia to visit you, Britt, it's his one thing. It's
Speaker 1: his one reason why he says he's not going to
Speaker 1: move here.
Speaker 3: Oh he's petrified anyway. So I woke up this morning
Speaker 3: and bless his soul, my fiancee Ben, He's like, morning, babe,
Speaker 3: I didn't sleep last night and I've spent some time
Speaker 3: doing some research and I was like, what he's like,
Speaker 3: it could be a trapdoor, but I'm not convinced. The
Speaker 3: shape of the body is the same.
Speaker 1: It's not a trap door. It's just a huntsman. So anyway,
Speaker 1: really big one that eats people. He's the one that
Speaker 1: has lost sleep.
Speaker 2: I went to bed. I was fine.
Speaker 3: He's like, I've contacted a wildlife specialist and I was like,
Speaker 3: surely this is a joke. So two years ago Ben
Speaker 3: in Australia met out a friend of the pickup. He's
Speaker 3: a wildlife specialist from a sanctuary. His name is also Ben.
Speaker 3: Fiance Ben met wildlife.
Speaker 1: Ben and they became best Ben's and they're best friends.
Speaker 3: Now they're Ben and Ben are best friends, and so
Speaker 3: my fiancee Ben contacted in the middle of the night
Speaker 3: contacted Wildlife Ben. He sent him the photo and I
Speaker 3: was like, what do you mean you've contacted wildlife Ben.
Speaker 3: I was so embarrassed, and he goes, Hi, Ben, I
Speaker 3: hope you've been well. Quick question what the hell is this?
Speaker 3: He sends him the photo. Wildlife Ben says, ha ha,
Speaker 3: oh my god, don't worry. I think it's just a
Speaker 3: massive huntsman. Not dangerous, but not something you want in
Speaker 3: your closet. My fiance Ben said, I don't want to
Speaker 3: question your expertise. I believe you, believe you are very
Speaker 3: well trained, but that is bigger than anything I have
Speaker 3: ever seen. I don't think that's a huntsman. So now
Speaker 3: my Ben is questioning wildlife Ben's specialty.
Speaker 2: I think he should just yeah give up at this point.
Speaker 3: Well, Wildlife Ben has said that it is so big,
Speaker 3: like the biggest thing you've ever seen, that he's pretty
Speaker 3: sure it's been living in there with a family and
Speaker 3: now it has had babies. What do I do? My
Speaker 3: whole wardrobe has baby huntsmens through it.
Speaker 2: It's time to burn it down and move now.
Speaker 3: I'm serious.
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's only options. I have burned my homeless everyone.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be the next Daily Mail headline.
Speaker 3: Because do you know how spiders have babies? They don't
Speaker 3: have one baby. They hatch like a hundred eggs, and
Speaker 3: then all the babies grow on their back and then
Speaker 3: they climb out into the wardrobe.
Speaker 2: They grow on their back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they run off their back. They live on
Speaker 3: their back. I think I think that's true.
Speaker 2: This sounds horrifying. Also this, do you know what?
Speaker 1: We need to make a new segment of all of
Speaker 1: the absolutely made up facts that Brittany comes up with.
Speaker 2: So it's truth.
Speaker 3: Grace produce to Grace. Spiders carry their babies on their backs.
Speaker 2: They don't. They absolutely don't.
Speaker 3: Brute no, they do. I'm googling it.
Speaker 2: Now, that's like a dark you're thinking of darks. So, bro,
Speaker 2: look at this.
Speaker 3: That's a wolf spider. That's not sorry, there is a
Speaker 3: hundred spiders on this spider's back.
Speaker 1: Please stop showing everyone in the studio trying to solicit
Speaker 1: support for this.
Speaker 3: That's making me feel on well all.
Speaker 1: Right, well, look, it's currently homeless if you have a
Speaker 1: place for her to live, she would really appreciate.
Speaker 2: You can send it into the pick up.
Speaker 1: Now, there was a research study that came out recently
Speaker 1: and an article which I read on The Guardian. I
Speaker 1: found this so interesting. So it turns out that on average,
Speaker 1: everybody spends one hour a day gossiping. And apparently everyone
Speaker 1: does it because I believe that, yeah, I do too,
Speaker 1: but also that whole adage that like gossip thing is
Speaker 1: only for small minds, which I would love to believe
Speaker 1: that we're all above it, but I think we all
Speaker 1: do it in different ways.
Speaker 3: I think the thing is I do not know one
Speaker 3: person that doesn't gossip. But I think the thing is
Speaker 3: people don't think that they gossip, and they cover it
Speaker 3: as like their fane. It's concerned. They're like, I'm just
Speaker 3: telling you this because I'm so concerned about this person.
Speaker 3: Like people put this cape over gossip because it's got
Speaker 3: such a negative connotation. But everyone does it. It's just
Speaker 3: how you deliver it, and different people do it in
Speaker 3: different ways. Like they can be like high end, top notch.
Speaker 2: Positive end gossip, positive gossip, or there.
Speaker 3: Can be you just being like an absolute mole.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also I mean, I find this interesting because
Speaker 1: it's something that is very very gendered, and I think
Speaker 1: women we have kind of bore the brunt of being
Speaker 1: the gender that does the gossiping. But I would debate
Speaker 1: that just as much as like maybe we talk about friends,
Speaker 1: or we talk about families, or we talk about dating,
Speaker 1: like we're probably more social gossipers in that way. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: like I would say that men do it equally as much.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not about the same things necessarily, but they
Speaker 1: do it within their groups, around the girls that they're dating,
Speaker 1: or around what's happening at work, or what's happening with
Speaker 1: their bosses or their employers, like we all do it
Speaker 1: to some extent. The thing that was interesting about this
Speaker 1: article was that it is like how you do it
Speaker 1: as to whether it can be a positive thing or
Speaker 1: a negative thing, because it actually is something that can
Speaker 1: bind relationships, it's something that can create connectedness, but you
Speaker 1: have to do it in a way where you're not
Speaker 1: just like going out there and using it like a
Speaker 1: spattergarten to absolutely derail and put down the people that
Speaker 1: you're talking about.
Speaker 3: It's so funny that you say that, like men gossip
Speaker 3: as well. I have in the last years since I've
Speaker 3: been on my health journey and I'm really on the
Speaker 3: sauna train. I cannot tell you the gossip that goes
Speaker 3: on in those saunas by men. So I'll sometimes sit
Speaker 3: in the corner, because it's like a unisex sauna, right,
Speaker 3: I'll go in with my headphones in and I'll sit
Speaker 3: in the corner. Men will come in like friends. I mean,
Speaker 3: they think that I've got my headphones in. I do,
Speaker 3: but sometimes I press pause on what I'm playing and
Speaker 3: I just listen to their gossip. Their version is like
Speaker 3: talking about someone that didn't do the workout properly, or
Speaker 3: like do you see he definitely like he definitely skipped
Speaker 3: his reps, or like he said he was going to
Speaker 3: this competition. I was like, he's never gonna do well there.
Speaker 3: He shouldn't be like things like that. They're talking about
Speaker 3: girls they're dating, they're talking about like it's wild. But
Speaker 3: one hundred percent men gossip just as much, but I
Speaker 3: think they deliver it differently.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not even the way that deliver it's also
Speaker 1: just like the perception around it, like it's not seen.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because we don't label it that way. One
Speaker 1: of the things that was raised, which I thought was
Speaker 1: really fascinating, is that gossip has a greater currency for women,
Speaker 1: so like in the past and like historically it has
Speaker 1: been a useful tool to help to protect us. Maybe
Speaker 1: we talk about the men that are not, you know,
Speaker 1: trustworthy or right to be dating, or talk about different
Speaker 1: things that are happening that are relationship based. I think
Speaker 1: that that's kind of what we do as women, where
Speaker 1: we really sort of focus on relationship talk and how
Speaker 1: like we're connected to the people around us. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I find it fascinating because I'm like, we always give
Speaker 1: it a very bad rap, and we all know that
Speaker 1: one person who's like the office gossip the gossip friend
Speaker 1: who kind of just shares their business with everyone, like
Speaker 1: they don't have any filter when it comes to who
Speaker 1: they share it with. They'll share it with anyone, and
Speaker 1: they will speak badly about people without really considering the consequences.
Speaker 1: And the flip side of this is that they're saying,
Speaker 1: if you're going to talk and you're gonna gossip, also
Speaker 1: be very mindful about doing the opposite of that, which
Speaker 1: is like sharing the good things about people too. So
Speaker 1: even though gossiping can be a negative aspect, making sure
Speaker 1: that when you're doing it, you're also gossiping about the
Speaker 1: good and the people as well well.
Speaker 3: A professor at Durham University, Maria Kakaka She says that
Speaker 3: you yes, she did, Yes she did, Kakaika, she knows
Speaker 3: what's up. She said that you need to start practicing
Speaker 3: positive gossip, which I think is amazing, but I think
Speaker 3: it's way harder to do. Positive gossip is complementing people
Speaker 3: behind their backs or recounting their good deeds to someone else,
Speaker 3: which I think is really important. But as humans, we're
Speaker 3: more trained to negatively gear well, we're more trained to
Speaker 3: want to vent and get something off our chest. It's
Speaker 3: like the same as you leave a review for a restaurant.
Speaker 3: You want to go and leave the negative review, but
Speaker 3: you don't leave and think I'm going to go and
Speaker 3: write like that pastor was the best pastor I've eaten.
Speaker 1: I think that complaining really connects people as well, because
Speaker 1: you have like a common enemy to bondover.
Speaker 3: It's the same thing in relationships. Right when you want
Speaker 3: to go invent to your friends, you'll talk about the argument.
Speaker 2: But he or bet he's not he's great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you don't often say such and such did
Speaker 3: this for me last night? Isn't he the best? Because
Speaker 3: you like people don't want to hear that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally agree. Well, fascinated.
Speaker 1: Anyway, you're all going to gossip anyway statistically, so why
Speaker 1: don't you try and do some good gossip as well.
Speaker 3: So if you're going to talk about us right now
Speaker 3: on this, please make it great. Well, that's it from us,
Speaker 3: Should we go.
Speaker 2: That's the end of the show.
Speaker 3: Guys,