Speaker 1: I just went for a little walk to get that
Speaker 1: burrito and nice coffee. Down there. Really are go down there,
Speaker 1: the people who live around here, they're all so beautiful.
Speaker 2: Thank you, just not.
Speaker 1: You, your fucking prawn, just the features. And I was
Speaker 1: just like, where are two arms and ten fingers, two arms,
Speaker 1: two legs except for Buster?
Speaker 2: Just exquisite.
Speaker 1: I just was like, call these good looking people walking
Speaker 1: into the cafe. Everyone's nicely dressed. I'm like, fuck, you'd
Speaker 1: hate to be like below the poverty line walking through
Speaker 1: this suburb right now, Meal.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie J.
Speaker 1: And I'm Ash. This is fuck it up his time.
Speaker 2: Don't fuck what your.
Speaker 1: Fuck the intro up for the Mick Fanning episode.
Speaker 2: Don't tell people, all right, don't tell I don't know what.
Speaker 2: We'll keeping that in because I Ash, I just power
Speaker 2: on through.
Speaker 1: If there's a mistake, I heard about it for like
Speaker 1: forty eight hours after your Life, We've got to re record.
Speaker 2: Fuck. This is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the.
Speaker 1: Bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2: And if you've come for advice, stop right now, pull
Speaker 2: the handbrake up.
Speaker 1: And go around and get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: Although today maybe I'll have some advice.
Speaker 2: Any anyone who takes advice from Ashton Wigs.
Speaker 1: Don't say my full name the ato after.
Speaker 2: Me ash Yes, I want to say condolences for not winning.
Speaker 2: The Bitcoin better be a competition that is now over.
Speaker 1: I don't need the money.
Speaker 2: That's a life.
Speaker 1: I definitely need the money.
Speaker 2: But congratulations to those who have won. Yes, your bitcoins,
Speaker 2: that's that forty five grand each. The boys round about
Speaker 2: slinging up bitcoins like it was gone out.
Speaker 1: Of fashion, sling me one. We could go halves in
Speaker 1: a bitcoin?
Speaker 2: Did you message? I feel like you would have messaged them,
Speaker 2: and when you're like on a night out.
Speaker 1: No, I'm waiting for elon masks right back to my
Speaker 1: dam if I reach out to the boys. But look,
Speaker 1: I didn't win. You didn't win that I know of.
Speaker 1: Someone did win, and I don't know who it is,
Speaker 1: but I will find you. I have a unique set
Speaker 1: of skills.
Speaker 2: But it's not all bad news because July is over drive.
Speaker 2: July has finished and I'm back on the back to
Speaker 2: my back to no place.
Speaker 1: Like home, back in your neck of the woods, no
Speaker 1: place like home. Whenever I get an order of better beer.
Speaker 1: There's mainly more cases of this than the rest because
Speaker 1: it is my favorite.
Speaker 2: What's so good about it? Why do you love it
Speaker 2: so much?
Speaker 1: Just got a nice a little bit of a sweet
Speaker 1: taste to U's not too bubbly nice. I gave my
Speaker 1: mum one. Actually, what did she really liked it? She
Speaker 1: was like, oh shit, it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: She's a massive piss head.
Speaker 1: Though, No, she's not.
Speaker 2: She is no. She whenever I was spoken to her
Speaker 2: on the phone, she's always she's always.
Speaker 1: Don't tell her that, she'd hate that. She drinks moderately. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Thank you, better be' gonna crack it beautiful.
Speaker 2: Cheers my friend cheers.
Speaker 1: Oh god, the doorbell's just run bust. He's gone off
Speaker 1: his head.
Speaker 2: I would just like to apologize for that little interruption.
Speaker 1: That's right, guess what it was. It was a stripper.
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
Speaker 2: You wish you was online shopping?
Speaker 1: You get it delivered to work? That is a rookie mistake.
Speaker 2: L I'm meant to be able to spending freeze.
Speaker 1: Jesus, I'm always on a spending freeze. Allegedly.
Speaker 2: How are you feeling after a weekend dash in the club?
Speaker 1: Well, we went out Thursday night, me and you. I
Speaker 1: got to bed about one o'clock on Friday night, and
Speaker 1: then I finished up at about three thirty on Saturday night.
Speaker 2: We gammed up the ivy. How is it the ivy?
Speaker 1: Shit? I had to pay like thirty five bucks to
Speaker 1: get in. I'm an old man.
Speaker 2: Did you did you say? I had to? It?
Speaker 1: Was it for a birthday?
Speaker 2: Lineup to get in?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 2: How long do you line up for?
Speaker 1: I can't remember. I was so drunk. It was good.
Speaker 1: I had a good time. It was for a birthday.
Speaker 1: We stayed in the city. It was nice, sleeping, was.
Speaker 2: A little little boogie on the dance floor.
Speaker 1: I don't remember a whole lot cool.
Speaker 2: Did you find it that?
Speaker 1: Someone?
Speaker 2: I spoke to Ash and I was like, did you
Speaker 2: have a big night? He's like, no, no, no, I
Speaker 2: wasn't that big. And then I jumped onto the two
Speaker 2: doting dad's Instagram page and someone had tagged you in
Speaker 2: a video and it was at like three in the morning.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Love is pumping lasers. Everyone's gone wild,
Speaker 2: and it zooms in on one guy standing there looking
Speaker 2: like he's lost his key. He's just a sad look
Speaker 2: and they tagged at two days in the club.
Speaker 1: I don't know how people like that sort of It
Speaker 1: was wild. I was there for a thirty year, but
Speaker 1: I was looking around going I'm fucking old.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was also like, I
Speaker 1: can do what I want. I'm out there slaying, are
Speaker 1: you though? No, I was just yawning laser ds.
Speaker 2: I'm still recovering from a little little drink we had.
Speaker 1: On Thursday, Thursday or Friday morning, which one? It was
Speaker 1: good team bonding, Oh yes, good team bonding. How many
Speaker 1: arguments we had over that time A lot?
Speaker 2: It was good. Since then, my parenting is just it's
Speaker 2: falling to piece of ash.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do that to people.
Speaker 2: It's all going to ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had a moment where I don't know if Oscar
Speaker 2: does this. Marley just started doing it where whenever I'm
Speaker 2: cooking dinner, she's like, Daddy, can I help.
Speaker 1: I know, like it's something that I should should embrace that.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought.
Speaker 2: At first. I was like, no, it's too hard. I
Speaker 2: just want to like, I just want to get these
Speaker 2: veggies chopped, steam them and then we can move on.
Speaker 2: But then I was like, do you know what I
Speaker 2: am going to allow her to step up into the
Speaker 2: kitchen be my little sous chef. Then I realized do
Speaker 2: you alan? You do things? And afterwards you go that
Speaker 2: was really fucking dumb.
Speaker 1: Did you Gordon ramsay here and be like, what are
Speaker 1: you an idiot? Sandwich? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah I was. I was swearing at her.
Speaker 1: Oh she wasn't tears, Like what is this with the hands?
Speaker 1: What is this you call the scrambled eggs?
Speaker 2: Fucking disgusting? And I was chopping some veggies, not the carrots,
Speaker 2: the zucchinis. Zucchini is easy to cut, and Marley was like,
Speaker 2: can I cut them? And I was like, you're old enough.
Speaker 1: Sure, she's four. He's a chef's knife.
Speaker 2: I didn't give her the big one. I gave her
Speaker 2: a small knife.
Speaker 1: You gave her an knife? Was a plastic knife?
Speaker 2: No, it was but knife recently sharpened cutting knife? Holy shit,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Don't give me that tone. I
Speaker 2: was trying to encourage her to seventy the kitchen. We're
Speaker 2: having a bonding session.
Speaker 1: Mate, you really, first you're given kids knives and now
Speaker 1: this is sexism.
Speaker 2: But she had one trouble with zecchini, and I was
Speaker 2: like this is a terrible decision.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then at that moment, Laura's come in and I'm
Speaker 2: there on my phone scrolling, and I was like, She's like,
Speaker 2: what are you fucking doing with? Like why's mother got
Speaker 2: a knife? And I was like she wanted it, she
Speaker 2: asked for it. Anyway, Afterwards, I was like, ah, man,
Speaker 2: what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't guys, if you're listening, don't give your kids knives.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you've just got to veer off the track to
Speaker 2: realize get back on the track.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you need a loss to come back
Speaker 1: to be like I need to be better than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like she does this thing where she just somehow finds
Speaker 1: where the knives are wherever I put them and walks
Speaker 1: out with a knife. Somehow She'll open the discwasher like
Speaker 1: she's got super strength to be like, how the fuck did.
Speaker 2: She open it?
Speaker 1: She's tiny, And then she even reached that and then
Speaker 1: she just goes quiet and I look over and she's like,
Speaker 1: got the chef's knife. I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, if it keeps them happy, let her haven't give
Speaker 2: her something.
Speaker 1: She's holding it by the blade like.
Speaker 2: That, and I'm like, do you ever think I'll just
Speaker 2: I'll leave it for one more minute because she's quiet.
Speaker 1: Just yanked out that way. I was like, put down
Speaker 1: the knife like a hostage situation. I was like, excuse me, lady.
Speaker 2: It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: It's not that bad. You're not going to get in trouble.
Speaker 1: She's like, I want to get away from here.
Speaker 2: Cal Why do kids love knives so much?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's what she started going.
Speaker 2: Watching hanging out with April Sea Beast.
Speaker 1: Baby Sea Beast. They have a lot in there.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of stabbing in CB.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of drinking and stabbing for a child's.
Speaker 2: Hey, just really quickly, I did I know you gave
Speaker 2: me some homework because you're like, it's not a pooning hack,
Speaker 2: it's a pooning style. It's a hack.
Speaker 1: You did it once and then you didn't work to it. No, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't work. Look, it wasn't ideal. Just the kids
Speaker 1: don't care. Your kids don't care about competition. Yeah not yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is how it went down. Hey, Marley,
Speaker 2: I bet I can eat that corn faster than you. Marley,
Speaker 2: I bet I can eat the corn faster. Show me
Speaker 2: how fuch you can eat it Ready ready, Maley, here
Speaker 2: we go, I can eat the corn first. Ready ready.
Speaker 1: So she didn't care give a shit.
Speaker 2: Literally didn't care a single iota, like no interest.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's must be a boy thing.
Speaker 2: It's a girl thing.
Speaker 1: I think Marley is a girl thing that don't care
Speaker 1: that well. Like I always thought April wasn't competitive right, like,
Speaker 1: not an overly competitive person until one time we got
Speaker 1: on the sangreeas on the New Year's Eve at a
Speaker 1: friend's house and the beer pong came out and she
Speaker 1: got real competitive. Turned out her and my best friend
Speaker 1: fight full fight, like a competitive fight over this. I
Speaker 1: just separate them wild.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, maybe not growing to the competitive parenting.
Speaker 2: Are they throwing a fizz? Oh?
Speaker 1: Nearly headlocks over beer pong? We got pretty lit on
Speaker 1: sang grea during the day.
Speaker 2: It's sometimes sangree will do that to people.
Speaker 1: She's not allowed to drink sangrea anymore.
Speaker 2: It'll make the nicest individual turn into an animal.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, April is.
Speaker 2: Not immune to that anyway.
Speaker 1: So it didn't work whatever, So Beno's thanks for that, mate,
Speaker 1: thanks for nothing.
Speaker 2: I wanted it to work. I tried it for dinner.
Speaker 1: I tried one of those starter guns in all the Runners.
Speaker 1: Was just like, shut, look, Marley's a little bit more
Speaker 1: intellectual than Oscar. I would say, really like I can.
Speaker 1: I can easily just be like to Oscar, be like, come,
Speaker 1: I'm got to raise me. There gotta raise me. Let's
Speaker 1: go and be like, Okay, I'll time you. That is
Speaker 1: the dreamt that doesn't work.
Speaker 2: All the time we have been teasing, ash teasing.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm missing. What am I missing? What
Speaker 1: are we teasing?
Speaker 2: Go the childbirth story? You were being a big old
Speaker 2: cock teas last episode. Would you like to go first
Speaker 2: with your story or I can go first?
Speaker 1: What you First? Of all, I just want to say,
Speaker 1: there's no way that you and I could do what
Speaker 1: our wives have done. Oh my god, that should cover us, right,
Speaker 1: That'll get us out of trouble for anything that comes
Speaker 1: after that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, obviously.
Speaker 1: I've got I have two kids, so like there's two
Speaker 1: birthing stories. That's so you're not going to be Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is strange except for people have twins, and that
Speaker 1: wouldn't be strange.
Speaker 2: So I apologize. You should wouldn't be a smart ass.
Speaker 1: I mean Oscar was meant to be a natural birth.
Speaker 1: And on the day that was, you know, the Jew date,
Speaker 1: it was meant to be my last day of work. Okay,
Speaker 1: because it was like, okay, well after this, a baby
Speaker 1: could come, right.
Speaker 2: But you had you did your last day of work
Speaker 2: on the due date.
Speaker 1: Yeah, on the Jew date.
Speaker 2: That's high risk. Well go to earn the monies.
Speaker 1: I would have just left. Yes, yeah, you'd think that
Speaker 1: I would have just left.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I may be jumping ahead, so tell me to
Speaker 2: shut up if I'm asking questions that you're about to answer.
Speaker 2: Did her waters break?
Speaker 1: No, thankfully, thankfully. So last day of work, And it
Speaker 1: was also a friend of mine his last day at work,
Speaker 1: but for a different reason. He was moving on. He
Speaker 1: was actually going back overseas. So after work, we stopped
Speaker 1: at the part at the bottom.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't tell her that I was going on the bar,
Speaker 1: but you didn't. But it was like just just like
Speaker 1: a you know, last little hirah drink to drink two
Speaker 1: pints quickly escalated anyway, so we went early, so it
Speaker 1: was like I didn't finish her five We went on
Speaker 1: like four thirty thirty minutes whatever. I had to get
Speaker 1: a bus home anyway, so it's not like i'd just
Speaker 1: been like run all the way home.
Speaker 2: Like did you stick to two pints? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah because it stuck to two because I got
Speaker 1: the call during the second pint. Lucky and April rang
Speaker 1: me and she goes, oh, hey, like how are you.
Speaker 1: I'm like yeah good. She's like, oh you are, like
Speaker 1: you're coming home. I'm like, yeah, yep, I'm coming home.
Speaker 1: She goes, oh yeah, just don't be alarmed. I'm in labor.
Speaker 1: And I was like what. She goes, well, technically I'm
Speaker 1: in labor. I'm like, I'm fine. She's at home. She's fine.
Speaker 1: She's like, look, I've got a little bit of pelvic pain,
Speaker 1: but I'm in labor apparently, and I'm dilated. And I
Speaker 1: was like what oh shit. I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm at my home. Now neck the beer.
Speaker 2: One more.
Speaker 1: I get one more where I'm like, sorry, guys, gotta go.
Speaker 1: Judy calls, and then so there's that, and then I've
Speaker 1: got to get on a bus.
Speaker 2: Were you excited? Were your nervous? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wasn't not excited, to be honest.
Speaker 2: Sometimes sometimes it's pretty green.
Speaker 1: I didn't know really what all that meant.
Speaker 2: You know, it's quite a nerve wracking experience. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: could be more apprehensive because it's like it's a fucking
Speaker 2: big deal, like it's you're excited to meet this little I.
Speaker 1: Was more like, I don't know what a lot of
Speaker 1: those words mean, but I'm coming home now. And then
Speaker 1: get home. She's like it's a little bit more painful.
Speaker 1: Like she's like, but I'm okay, fine, we don't need
Speaker 1: to go to the hospital. I'm like, okay, cool. So
Speaker 1: I haven't really done the wrong thing could have. And
Speaker 1: then we had something to eat or whatever, and they
Speaker 1: progressively got worse and worse as they do. We went
Speaker 1: to the hospital just to get a check, and as
Speaker 1: it happens, they're like, you're not going home because you're
Speaker 1: essentially in labor. In labor for quite some time, overnight hours.
Speaker 1: Like I said, I couldn't do it, you know, I
Speaker 1: couldn't do what she was doing, epidur all that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff.
Speaker 2: Did you guys already have the bag packed full of
Speaker 2: the essential line, Yeah, you had.
Speaker 1: It in the car just in case. But then we
Speaker 1: also had like her mum on call if we needed
Speaker 1: anything else or whatever, and yeah, and then eventually, like
Speaker 1: it came time to push. I don't want to prolong
Speaker 1: this story because you could be like, oh yeah, then
Speaker 1: we had dinner, Like I had dinner, What did you
Speaker 1: have actually sat on that really uncomfortable reclining chair that
Speaker 1: you meant to sleep on?
Speaker 2: Oh? They terrible, aren't they?
Speaker 1: No? I was too busy push it and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's so bad, We've got it. And then it comes
Speaker 1: time to push, and I mean April put in a
Speaker 1: real good effort push push. We had to try and
Speaker 1: use the vacuum to vacuum out EPI drill, EPI drill. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but she was just like poor man. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I don't know how they do it, Like I've pushed
Speaker 1: out some mean shit but nothing, nothing like that. And
Speaker 1: it's like she was like pushing, pushing, wouldn't calm. He
Speaker 1: was what they call it posterior. Yes, yeah, so the
Speaker 1: head down dark, wrong way, yeah, completely stark. Our obsertration
Speaker 1: was like eventually he's like he's not coming out. We
Speaker 1: need to have an emergency, said. I think April at
Speaker 1: that point was like, don't care, just get him out
Speaker 1: of me. Like we knew it was a boy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden they hit that button on
Speaker 1: the wall and wait, what button, there's like.
Speaker 2: A confetti comes down. We got to win. He's stuck.
Speaker 1: And yeah, so pressed the button. All of a sudden
Speaker 1: there's like fifteen people ready to carry because they've got
Speaker 1: to move you onto a different bed to get you
Speaker 1: ready for surgery and theater. Sorry and all that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff. Right anyway, the press the button and I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 1: where's all these fucking people come from? And then they're
Speaker 1: like moving into beds and then they're like, come on, Ash,
Speaker 1: you've got to come with us.
Speaker 2: How many hours do you think roughly from when you
Speaker 2: guys arrived at hospital to this point we're talking, Well.
Speaker 1: We arrived at hospital at about nine o'clock the night
Speaker 1: before Oscar was born at about eleven thirty pm.
Speaker 2: It's a long stint. So at this point, more importantly,
Speaker 2: how is your back after being in that chair for
Speaker 2: so long?
Speaker 1: Fucked, it's still bad.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Look, lots of money has been spent on my
Speaker 1: the same sinse. Yeah, it's never been the same sins. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's pretty It's such an unknown, right, You're just like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm just a little passenger on this experience. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I guess you tell me what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: And it's all like I can do, and like any
Speaker 1: man can do is just be like try and just
Speaker 1: be there, right, That's all you can really do. Get
Speaker 1: yelled at, cop it thankfully, April not too bad like
Speaker 1: she was pretty much like you know, it was just
Speaker 1: me trying to comfort her the.
Speaker 2: Whole time, holding hands.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not touching that. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Did you ever did you ever try and say come on,
Speaker 2: April big breaths, No, do.
Speaker 1: Any Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah I did that. That was the worst I ever do.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be like, push a bit harder
Speaker 1: next time. Yeah. I was like, you know, next time
Speaker 1: when you get a contraction, be like yeah.
Speaker 2: There was one moment where I was like, come on, Laura,
Speaker 2: you can do it through the nose.
Speaker 1: She shut the f off. Shut up, Matthew.
Speaker 2: I was like, I will not do that again.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So all the people come in the room and
Speaker 1: they're like moving in to a more of a theater bed,
Speaker 1: which is fine until they say, ash, you've got to
Speaker 1: You've got to come out now with us. And right
Speaker 1: there on the floor is a big pile of turd.
Speaker 1: My wife's pushed out. So I'm like, oh, let me
Speaker 1: just get round that. Someone going to pick that up. Well,
Speaker 1: you can push that thing out if you push that out. Look,
Speaker 1: it was pretty mushy, and I vividly remember that. I
Speaker 1: remember I was like, babe, respect, have I ever done
Speaker 1: that in front of you? So every time I fart
Speaker 1: in front of her now, I'm like, remember that time
Speaker 1: you shout on the floor.
Speaker 2: I remember a lot of people kind of said like, hey,
Speaker 2: jes so you're aware this may happen. They're shitting on
Speaker 2: the floor.
Speaker 1: No one told me I no one told you she
Speaker 1: could a shot on my foot like it was wearing
Speaker 1: brand new shoes.
Speaker 2: Do you offer to clean it up or no?
Speaker 1: There was another twelve blokes there and we go down
Speaker 1: to the theater as you do their prep for theater
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, And then I'm in like the small
Speaker 1: little prep theater area where like I'm doing the paperwork
Speaker 1: bit right, there's a little bit of paperwork you gonna do. Anyway,
Speaker 1: they pushed her into the theater and before they move
Speaker 1: it off from that bed to the operating bed. They're
Speaker 1: like one, two, three, lift, and all I hear is
Speaker 1: this big bang, and I thought she's on the ground.
Speaker 1: She's fallen on the ground. She didn't fall on the ground, Matthew,
Speaker 1: but like that was my first initial thought. Then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden started to think about that movie, what
Speaker 1: to expect when you're expecting. There's a one of the
Speaker 1: couples in there. The wife starts to lose blood and
Speaker 1: he's thinking about whether it's going to be a single
Speaker 1: dad for these whole life now immediately, so I'm just.
Speaker 2: In this city's thoughts that they're running through.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're like everything's okay,
Speaker 1: you can come in, sat down, and obviously they do.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to look. I can't.
Speaker 1: We're talking about this what was the big crash. It
Speaker 1: was just the noise of April moving beds because it's
Speaker 1: like sterile environments. It just that's what they tell me.
Speaker 1: It echoed probably dropped her and she felt to before Yeah,
Speaker 1: she gone, she's in the theater room downstairs. And then like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to look the curtain. Remember the obstetrician
Speaker 1: and the rest is a bit of a blow. It's
Speaker 1: all adrenaline for everyone that's in the room, right, And
Speaker 1: I remember they dropped the curtain and like he was
Speaker 1: half out of the stomach and they like turned him
Speaker 1: around and like, and I was just like, put him back.
Speaker 2: Is he still in the in the sack?
Speaker 1: Nah?
Speaker 2: Nah?
Speaker 1: He was just screaming. He was purple screaming, like, which
Speaker 1: is a good thing if they're screaming, right, because they're
Speaker 1: getting all the shit out of it. And they're like,
Speaker 1: do you want a whole I'm like, no, wrap that
Speaker 1: thing up. I was just like And then obviously after that,
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful moment, right, Baby's born, great, some photos
Speaker 1: and everything went swimmingly, except for the fact that he
Speaker 1: was just screamed for like three or four days after that.
Speaker 1: So that was Oscar. But the next one was a
Speaker 1: planned sea section because we had an emergency sea section.
Speaker 2: Can I just science before you go into baby number two?
Speaker 1: It'd be really quick, It'll be really quick.
Speaker 2: But yeah, don't you fucking shut up and listen to
Speaker 2: my story with we haven't been involved in a cesarian.
Speaker 2: Is that a moment of just a kind of stitch
Speaker 2: April up and then she's good to go? Could she
Speaker 2: hold the baby?
Speaker 1: Good to go? Like? Up, you pop out to go?
Speaker 1: You next time you can walk out. So like I
Speaker 1: got to take the baby. So I'm with the baby
Speaker 1: for like hours at this point, not hours, It felt
Speaker 1: like hours.
Speaker 2: Did you go shirt off?
Speaker 1: Not at first? No skin on skin, not at that point. No,
Speaker 1: it was like thankfully my mother in law and father
Speaker 1: in law there and came out and we were you know,
Speaker 1: everyone had a hold and it was nice. But like
Speaker 1: he screamed the whole time, so that wasn't nice. But
Speaker 1: he did, like stop bits and pieces doing there. But
Speaker 1: I mean, can't blame with the guy's just come out
Speaker 1: of a comfortable salm womb womb into the bright lights
Speaker 1: of a fucking hospital. Also did the lights a bit
Speaker 1: like the poor kids, like.
Speaker 2: Bit of moodlight.
Speaker 1: I can imagine that's what it would be like being
Speaker 1: abducted by aliens and they're like, okay, turn the light up, flashlight.
Speaker 1: It's guys, just a bit of moodlight and you're gonna
Speaker 1: stick something. I fucking wreck them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Look, the whole twenty four hours was very stressful. When
Speaker 1: it came to pushing because she pushed for ages and
Speaker 1: ages and ages. It was kind of like not the plan.
Speaker 1: It was a bit like all of a sudden, you're
Speaker 1: going into like them and those out who are listening
Speaker 1: wo have had the same thing. It's like, all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, you're going into like a serious surgery where
Speaker 1: you could die essentially if you lose blood. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of high emotion for a couple
Speaker 1: of days afterwards. It wasn't smooth sailing, which probably a
Speaker 1: lot of them aren't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think a lot of people go
Speaker 2: into these experiences with a set idea of what their
Speaker 2: birth plan is, and you've kind of got to realize
Speaker 2: that it's not really up to you. Yeah, in a
Speaker 2: lot of situations, is up to the medical staff to
Speaker 2: be like, this is the new way we're going and
Speaker 2: we have to do this because of X, Y and Z,
Speaker 2: And you're just.
Speaker 1: Like, well, sweet, I'm not gonna Yeah, I've got a
Speaker 1: friend who have two kids and they're both kids. She
Speaker 1: lost a lot of blood like during the vaginal birth
Speaker 1: and like nearly died both times. It's like you just
Speaker 1: can't plan for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is hang on a second. Eight twenty five.
Speaker 2: We didn't have lose blood.
Speaker 1: Nearly die at nine point thirty at. No, that's high
Speaker 1: level in terms of emotion for the first one, the
Speaker 1: second one. And I couldn't suggest this more a plant
Speaker 1: ce section. It's like checking into a hotel. It's great,
Speaker 1: like turn up a bit nerve wracking, you know, turn
Speaker 1: up check in, you know, check all aprils, bloods, do
Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff, poking and proden her. I'm
Speaker 1: just on my phone lines.
Speaker 2: Can I ask another question?
Speaker 1: Ash?
Speaker 2: Not to send naive here, but if your first is
Speaker 2: not vaginal, your first is a cesarean, your second has
Speaker 2: to then be a cesarian.
Speaker 1: Is that I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, just a love of people to their doctor.
Speaker 2: Were like, well, actually I heard Ash say that can
Speaker 2: be vaginal birds.
Speaker 1: Well, guys, there's a guy that I listened to never
Speaker 1: met an obstetrician.
Speaker 2: Ash.
Speaker 1: She was drinking a beer at the time, taking booking. Fully,
Speaker 1: I'll talk you through it. A look, I think there's
Speaker 1: a really high risk of it splitting during pushing hemorrhaging.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I look like I said, I'm not
Speaker 1: a physician.
Speaker 2: But I'm taking that as well.
Speaker 1: We had to we had to. People are going to
Speaker 1: be like, she wouldn't have had to have done it. Look,
Speaker 1: we were advised by someone who I paid money to, right,
Speaker 1: so we just took the advice. So checked into the
Speaker 1: hotel and the baby making hotel. So you book a
Speaker 1: time going we doubts look like this, do it first
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. You're done with. Get it over
Speaker 1: with because I don't want to be waiting all day
Speaker 1: in the hospital going to the theater like this time
Speaker 1: not as rush, nice calm. It was actually really nice.
Speaker 2: Was there still that same bang when they put April
Speaker 2: on the table? There was the bang?
Speaker 1: No bang. Now I'm suspicious and I'm facing April's just
Speaker 1: sitting on the side because they're putting the painkillers in
Speaker 1: epidua or whatever so that she can't feel them cut
Speaker 1: it open and all that sort of stuff. I'm facing
Speaker 1: her like this, and all of a sudden, a hot
Speaker 1: flush comes over me in that moment, And for anyone
Speaker 1: who's ash and I were facing each.
Speaker 2: Other, obviously she's got back to back, so she's on
Speaker 2: the edge of the bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And I'm facing her like that, and I
Speaker 1: just hit the deck faint full faint and I've got
Speaker 1: a photo here. I don't know if I'm the first
Speaker 1: man ever to faint in a plan C section. I
Speaker 1: would like to know, actually there he is. Oh my
Speaker 1: legs up, legs up on the chair, ice packed. No
Speaker 1: one was even attending to April or the nurses, just
Speaker 1: like are you a gay? So I remember I was
Speaker 1: like holding April's hands and I was like just looking
Speaker 1: at an April couldn't see anything or because it was April.
Speaker 1: And then I was like gone out on the ground,
Speaker 1: woke up, towel on my head. They gave me an
Speaker 1: orange juice, which was nice. That is so I actually
Speaker 1: spent the rest of the birth like that.
Speaker 2: You poor poor thing.
Speaker 1: It's all about me anyway. So our obstetrition took this
Speaker 1: photo because she was just like here a pussy, get off.
Speaker 2: The flour and you stayed there all like it's the
Speaker 2: safest place to be. You don't want to get back up.
Speaker 1: And then well they're like, we don't want this child
Speaker 1: to see how much of a pussy their father is.
Speaker 1: It's like you better get up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that was the second one, which everything else went
Speaker 1: really smoothly. After that.
Speaker 2: You made a full recovery.
Speaker 1: I've made a full recovery well since I've never been
Speaker 1: the same. What about you, Matthew? How did you go?
Speaker 2: It was a little bit strange in that we were
Speaker 2: in the midwif free program and.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, fun is it to say that mid it's.
Speaker 2: A fucking good word wed with we and a lot
Speaker 2: of people said this, that's the best when you go public,
Speaker 2: that's like the one you want. You kind of got
Speaker 2: to elect it and then depending on availability, you may
Speaker 2: or may not get it towards the tale, and unfortunately
Speaker 2: the midwife, i mean wife one of her parents was unwell.
Speaker 1: Who cares, It's not my problem, it's.
Speaker 2: About us, it's not you. So she had to go
Speaker 2: back to Perth. And then we were then passed around
Speaker 2: a few different midwives.
Speaker 1: Did you not splurge for the obstetrician?
Speaker 2: We didn't, Sorry, money bags, jeez, it must be nice you're.
Speaker 1: Bringing you're bringing life into this world.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I think it was a case where every
Speaker 2: midwife thought the other midwife had told us what was
Speaker 2: happening next.
Speaker 1: Oh, the classic miscommunication. So we were.
Speaker 2: Rocking up and they were kind of like, no one
Speaker 2: really knew. They're like, did Shantell say this and we're
Speaker 2: like no, and they're like, oh, that's weird. Anyway, see
Speaker 2: you later. We'll see you soon. And then we missed
Speaker 2: our due date, so they were like, you're going to
Speaker 2: be induced. And then one of the midwives said come
Speaker 2: in on Tuesday, and we kind of assumed that was
Speaker 2: for our next appointment. So we drive to the hospital
Speaker 2: for the Tuesday appointment and the next midwife is then
Speaker 2: seeing us and she looks at us a little bit
Speaker 2: confused and goes, oh, you guys pack light because we
Speaker 2: had nothing, and we're like, what do you mean, and
Speaker 2: like you're about to be induced?
Speaker 1: Were about from the hits that surprised you didn't know
Speaker 1: it got them and they're like, got him? Fellas was.
Speaker 2: It was such a fucking random moment. We didn't even
Speaker 2: have the bag half packed, but it was at home.
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden, Laura, I don't know how
Speaker 1: organized you are too.
Speaker 2: I'm actually I was quite bad. Obviously Laura was. She
Speaker 2: was in charge of probably now and Laura kind of said, oh, Matt,
Speaker 2: can you go back home, can you get the bag?
Speaker 2: Can you bring this? This? And this? And I was like, fuck,
Speaker 2: it's happening. I never expected it to be this much
Speaker 2: of a surprise, but she got induced and similar scenario
Speaker 2: where Marley was posterious, head down facing the wrong way.
Speaker 2: Baby got stuck. And it wasn't too long like, it
Speaker 2: wasn't a really drawn out like, it wasn't over twelve hours,
Speaker 2: but it was still a really long time and it
Speaker 2: got to the point where the baby was just not coming,
Speaker 2: no longer moving. Baby was stuck, and the midwife at
Speaker 2: the time, who didn't know what was going on, she
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, if the baby doesn't move anymore, we
Speaker 2: may be in a bit of trouble here. And at
Speaker 2: the same time, one of the head obstetricians, I can't
Speaker 2: remember his name, but he was what they say is
Speaker 2: like the godfather of He was he was about sixty
Speaker 2: odds and everyone said within the industry, if you call
Speaker 2: it that, he is regarded as one of the best.
Speaker 2: And by chance he happened to be on call and
Speaker 2: was walking down the hallway past our room and he
Speaker 2: was like, oh, and he popped in and he was inquisitive.
Speaker 2: And then moments later there was a group of student
Speaker 2: medical scrubs and obviously Laura was focused on pushing, and
Speaker 2: someone kind of tapped me on the shoulder and said,
Speaker 2: do you mind if the students come in? And I'm
Speaker 2: not they're not like high school, they're like adults and
Speaker 2: preschool walks in. But I said, of course, please make
Speaker 2: yourself comfortable, take a seat, front row, reserve.
Speaker 1: Popcorn anybody, no baby's moving.
Speaker 2: There was probably about I want to say, my memory
Speaker 2: is somewhat blurred ash, but I want to say there
Speaker 2: was about eight or nine students.
Speaker 1: Wow, full house. That's a full house. That's a party.
Speaker 1: I could have squeezed two more in there as a
Speaker 1: baby shower, that's what that is.
Speaker 2: And I remember there was a moment the students are
Speaker 2: watching on and this obstetrician who is such an expert
Speaker 2: he learned over to Laura and he said, hey, you
Speaker 2: know you've really got to push here. Okay, the next
Speaker 2: push on it's really really big, as big as you've got,
Speaker 2: give me everything, and remember you've got to push me away, okay.
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking that's a weird thing to say,
Speaker 2: what do you mean by that? And Laura looked at
Speaker 2: him and gave him a little nod as in, I
Speaker 2: understand what you need. I got this, and she just
Speaker 2: retracted her arms, leant forward and gave this old guy,
Speaker 2: the obstetrician, the biggest push you've ever seen. He went flying.
Speaker 1: He now what was the most regarded obstetrician.
Speaker 2: He was horizontal.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: He landed on the floor and I was like, get.
Speaker 1: Him, Laura, do it again. We're getting well, he's down.
Speaker 2: Hey Luck, it's w W. And what he meant, Ash,
Speaker 2: which I now know, is if you push me away,
Speaker 2: I won't have to get involved and exactly, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 2: but Laura and I thought that he meant.
Speaker 1: Push him away physically, which I blame him. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: looks choice be more specific in that moment. Yeah, if
Speaker 1: he's the most regarded, imagine what the least regarded with
Speaker 1: that was.
Speaker 2: That was amateur hour by him.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: So we got back up and they had to got
Speaker 2: a doctor. What do they call when you have eyotomy?
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, doctor ash. Yes, So that's that's
Speaker 2: how it progressed, which is fucking.
Speaker 1: Horrific for you, especially.
Speaker 2: Similar to yourself. I mean, I can't imagine cesarians obviously
Speaker 2: a step above that, but you're just this person in
Speaker 2: the room who was so useless. I'm so useless other
Speaker 2: than like the odd you're doing. Like in my head,
Speaker 2: I was like, give Laura some encouragements, so like, you're
Speaker 2: doing great, honey, Like you don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like they feel like you don't want to
Speaker 1: be patronizing to oh, you're doing really good.
Speaker 2: So I think holding the hand and if she said
Speaker 2: I want a water like I'd.
Speaker 1: Be yeah, that's like that's all you can do. Like
Speaker 1: water boy, I was two jugs go, but like after that,
Speaker 1: like just smooth sailing through, It's never smooth sailing. Let's
Speaker 1: be completely honest. If you're having a baby, or about
Speaker 1: to have a baby right now, or just had a baby,
Speaker 1: there is no such thing as smooth sailing, as smooth
Speaker 1: as it can be because it's honestly, like I said,
Speaker 1: your life will never be the same once it does.
Speaker 1: Pop out of their screaming its fucking head off, and
Speaker 1: some of them stop screaming, but others like just hadn't
Speaker 1: stopped fucking screaming.
Speaker 2: Marley was was pretty good, like she was pretty quiet, Like, hey,
Speaker 2: she was in her eyes open, she was quite alert.
Speaker 2: I remember them saying, oh, she's quite she's quite alert
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: Did they did you do the hearing test? And they
Speaker 1: look like a DJ. After the two big things over
Speaker 1: is there's like hearing's all fine, play.
Speaker 2: And then this may not come a surprise ash, But
Speaker 2: I took my clothes off and when.
Speaker 1: Skin to skin you love taking your kid off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like pants off.
Speaker 1: They're like, sir, not, there's not we meant my skin
Speaker 1: to skin.
Speaker 2: I was shirt off about halfway through. I was, I
Speaker 2: was prepared. I was greased up in the corner. Get
Speaker 2: me this.
Speaker 1: Baby ready to wrestle, Let's go.
Speaker 2: My mum was in the room as well, which was
Speaker 2: quite nice. Clothes both just standing naked. We're ready. But
Speaker 2: I remember when I first held Marley and I was like,
Speaker 2: holy fuck, I am now a dad. You know this
Speaker 2: moment I've been waiting for for nine months. And at
Speaker 2: that moment, I had a little cry and I wasn't
Speaker 2: like a blubbering mess, but I was just like the
Speaker 2: rush of emotion is high, Like nothing a better.
Speaker 1: Experience, totally Yeah, And like I haven't held a lot
Speaker 1: of babies when before that that's a lie.
Speaker 2: You would you would go around the playground. Does he
Speaker 2: want a little want more?
Speaker 1: Honestly, I was like, can I put it down now?
Speaker 1: Because I was I was just like, surely he's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I wasn't fit, you know how, like you gotta be
Speaker 1: like occupationally fit for it. I was like, it's getting
Speaker 1: kind of heavy.
Speaker 2: But I was also fucking petrified because yeah, yeah, delicate at.
Speaker 1: The same time, yeah, yeah that Like I had my
Speaker 1: mother in law and my father in law there, like thankfully,
Speaker 1: they were like that's you know, and I was like,
Speaker 1: shake it up, got c Yeah. At the same time,
Speaker 1: I was just like, so hadn't slept either, because I
Speaker 1: was next to April the whole time. Yeah, look, it's
Speaker 1: a whole it's an ordeal.
Speaker 2: And then the reality of parenting.
Speaker 1: Sinks right in when you when you're driving home at
Speaker 1: forty k is an hour, like.
Speaker 2: Is it okay? Still breathing, isn't there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's still good. The first time they have a
Speaker 1: decent sleep and you're like, is he dead? Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you've got to go in there and finger under the
Speaker 1: I was just opening up and that you're like, fuck,
Speaker 1: well that's a good story, mathey. But let's let's move
Speaker 1: on into my favorite segment, Tell Me Lies.
Speaker 2: Tell me Ash. As always, we dive deep into the
Speaker 2: DM's open you be go on, go on, and we
Speaker 2: select the best lies that are submitted by the dorting,
Speaker 2: moms and dads of social media. We get many, many
Speaker 2: lies we do.
Speaker 1: We get a lot of really good lies. We're helping
Speaker 1: each other out.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, only time for two ash your best one? What
Speaker 2: do you got?
Speaker 1: Yes, my best one this week? And I can't believe
Speaker 1: we haven't said this one. It's on the list of
Speaker 1: lies that we've received. We keep a list and just
Speaker 1: chog my memory about something I do as well. So
Speaker 1: this one says, when you're at the shop, obviously you
Speaker 1: say all the toys at the shop are display only.
Speaker 1: It's very good. We all know what that's like. You're like, ah, now,
Speaker 1: sometimes you just buy and one to shut them the
Speaker 1: fuck up off the back of this. What we do
Speaker 1: with Oscar is and I did make a video about
Speaker 1: this a while ago, is when we go to the show,
Speaker 1: because they're display only, we take a photo of Oscar
Speaker 1: holding the toy so he can look back at it
Speaker 1: later when it comes to when it comes to his
Speaker 1: birthday or Christmas, and it says like, okay, just to
Speaker 1: remind us what he really really liked.
Speaker 2: Brilliant.
Speaker 1: There you go, brilliant, so that you know they say,
Speaker 1: there's no advice here. Take that one and run with it. Matthew,
Speaker 1: that's all yours. What have you brought for us today?
Speaker 1: I think that's a great lie in general. But there's
Speaker 1: extensions of that lie.
Speaker 2: Okay, Ash This one comes from Jessica. She has submitted
Speaker 2: this one on the two dotting Dad's Instagram page, which
Speaker 2: is the best way to give us your lines if
Speaker 2: you had it read out on the podcast, which I'm
Speaker 2: sure it would be the highlight of one's weak ash Oh.
Speaker 1: And call to action, go and follow it. Please. If
Speaker 1: you're not following it, go and follow it.
Speaker 2: Jump aboard. But Jessica says, I tell my daughter the
Speaker 2: small car the merry go rounds at the show popping
Speaker 2: centers only work on your birthday. So she is now
Speaker 2: two and a half and will run up to the
Speaker 2: kids who's playing on them and say that's great. The
Speaker 2: parents always look at her with a very weird, strange
Speaker 2: look on their face.
Speaker 1: Look, that's really good, that's clever, and what a lovely daughter.
Speaker 1: You're also making people's day as well, because they think
Speaker 1: they're like, it's my birthday, that's great, it's my birthday,
Speaker 1: and the other.
Speaker 2: Parents are like, oh god, no, it's not your birthday to.
Speaker 1: Me there with Oskar, I'm like, look that's clever because
Speaker 1: look those things are spending four bucks ago.
Speaker 2: Inflation hitting hard and do you.
Speaker 1: Know crafty motherfuckers too. They've put the little payWave on there.
Speaker 1: When they were coins, you could easily be like, sorry, sorry, bud,
Speaker 1: don't have any coins because daddy's poor. Now it's just like, look,
Speaker 1: they know they know what it is.
Speaker 2: Because give me your phone, give it.
Speaker 1: And like Oscar knows how to use my phone. You
Speaker 1: know it's my past. Cote.
Speaker 2: You say that kids aren't smart, they fucking they know
Speaker 2: what's going on. You know what's going on. Hey, let's
Speaker 2: answer some listener questions.
Speaker 1: Ashton, Yes, Matthew, how do you stop your toddler getting
Speaker 1: up at the crack of dawn?
Speaker 2: Yes, very good question. Two things that I do, ash
Speaker 2: One is I put them to bed quite late, keep
Speaker 2: them up to midnight.
Speaker 1: I keep them up till four am, and like sleep
Speaker 1: this one off.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I go to bed at eight o'clock and they
Speaker 2: sleep until seven. It's fucking great.
Speaker 1: Seven's good.
Speaker 2: Seven's the dream.
Speaker 1: Seven is good. I just was thinking, like last night,
Speaker 1: how good would it be to get like twelve thirteen
Speaker 1: hours to sleep. They don't know how good they got it, dude.
Speaker 2: Well, when we were away, I think it was maybe
Speaker 2: it was the morning that we left and I had
Speaker 2: to leave here at like five point thirty to get
Speaker 2: to the airport. Laura messaged me and said, the kids
Speaker 2: will slept into like seven forty five.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how good.
Speaker 2: Yeah. One thing that I've started to do, which long
Speaker 2: term is a fucking nightmare, but short term it's great.
Speaker 1: I laid on me.
Speaker 2: I've started, and it's Lord will be so disappointed in me.
Speaker 2: I've started giving What if it's quite early, say it's
Speaker 2: like the annoying window is between five to six, because
Speaker 2: it's probably too late for them to go back to sleep.
Speaker 2: But you don't want to get up at five o'clock. See, like,
Speaker 2: what can I give them? I will give them a
Speaker 2: baby bottle? So Marley's four, I'll give her a bottle
Speaker 2: of milk and a baby bottle in bed.
Speaker 1: Instead, we should take them back to sleep, not always
Speaker 1: which is quiet. Yeah, just it gives me My kids
Speaker 1: have a bottle every morning, both of them together. That
Speaker 1: it's like a bonding thing like that. I will get
Speaker 1: them up the coming to bed with us and have
Speaker 1: a bottle and then we'll all just sit there. It's
Speaker 1: quite nice.
Speaker 2: I know some people. I remember at the age of two,
Speaker 2: another parent was like, your children are still on bottles.
Speaker 1: And I was like, judgmental, this is a no judge area,
Speaker 1: going to judge whatever's easiest for you.
Speaker 2: Parents told me that the child works up at five
Speaker 2: o'clock and they give them a beer to get to
Speaker 2: go back to sleep. I get it, part of least
Speaker 2: resistances a lot. But now Marley's back on. So I
Speaker 2: have to have to say to Marley, I don't.
Speaker 1: Don't tell mom.
Speaker 2: Don't tell mom, which shouldn't do that. Secrets are bad.
Speaker 2: But then so Marley will come to me and she's like, hey, Dad,
Speaker 2: give me a bottle. But it's it's like four in
Speaker 2: the afternoon. It's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: We've changed, like our school have oat milk and it's
Speaker 1: a really good way. Fuck, I'm full against today.
Speaker 2: You belong in the Eastern suburbs. Mate, giving your fucking
Speaker 2: kids intolerance, Ah is siliac as well, fucking a glutton.
Speaker 1: Here's a handy hint, Matthew. It's a really good way
Speaker 1: to get your kids to drink water as you put
Speaker 1: a bit of milk in, heat it up for thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: then you cool it down a bit, with the rest
Speaker 1: of it being water. Yes, bam, hydrated.
Speaker 2: I feel like everyone does that.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well so fuck myself.
Speaker 2: What you're telling me is effectively just like, hey, it's
Speaker 2: a thing called a dummy.
Speaker 1: There's a thing called like general knowledge no shit, Ash, Yeah, okay, right,
Speaker 1: next question.
Speaker 2: What surprised you the most about becoming a parent? Ash?
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I'm surprised that I went thirty years without using wipes?
Speaker 1: What do you mean, like, I can't live without them?
Speaker 1: I think we've been over this before, but I just
Speaker 1: want to stress I love wipes. It's the best thing
Speaker 1: about having kids. They are one of them, and I'm
Speaker 1: surprised how did I live without them? Not wiping on
Speaker 1: my anus, which which I know you're assuming what I mean, Well,
Speaker 1: I use.
Speaker 2: Them sometimes sometimes if it's a it's.
Speaker 1: A treat, I use it. Like with food, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I got a burrito here, I'm like, where are your
Speaker 1: wipes them?
Speaker 2: I have to make sure that when you come over
Speaker 2: to record that we have enough wipes.
Speaker 1: All that you've got like one of those enormously.
Speaker 2: This is for the kids.
Speaker 1: Don't touch these wipes. These are for Uncle Ash.
Speaker 2: It's super sad, but also it's quite handy as well.
Speaker 2: If the benchtop's quite messy, little chiky white.
Speaker 1: I wipe the floor with it yesterday. Man, I'll wipe
Speaker 1: anything with it. I'll wash the car with them. This
Speaker 1: is I'm just out there.
Speaker 2: They are bloody great.
Speaker 1: They are great. They are great anyway, so I'm surprised
Speaker 1: I've got through my whole life before having kids. So
Speaker 1: I've got them to thank them for that.
Speaker 2: I guess for me, it's just how much of a.
Speaker 1: Loser you are.
Speaker 2: Emotional, I now crime more than ever.
Speaker 1: Look, no one wants to hear that. That's all we
Speaker 1: got time for.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, thanks much.
Speaker 1: Remember to if you like this episode, please go leave
Speaker 1: a review, leave a review, subscribe, jump on our Instagram.
Speaker 2: If you aren't going to give us a review, and
Speaker 2: you're going to drop in and give us five stars.
Speaker 2: I love it so much reading the reviews. Yeah that
Speaker 2: it makes my week. And when I see someone's left
Speaker 2: a review as a number of stars and not written anything.
Speaker 1: It's worthless. It's not. It's such a tease and make
Speaker 1: sure you follow a long hour Instagram because we do
Speaker 1: some giveaways here or there. We've got some stuff coming
Speaker 1: up back end of the year. Of course, Father's.
Speaker 2: Day always coming up, is coming up, so jump on.
Speaker 2: And if you know a parent out there or maybe
Speaker 2: could be to someone's having a shit day and they
Speaker 2: don't have kids, they're probably going to be like, why
Speaker 2: are you sending me a parenting podcast?
Speaker 1: Afterwards they'll feel better about not having kids.
Speaker 2: If you know a parent out there who's doing it tough,
Speaker 2: needs to laugh and they want to hear two dads
Speaker 2: talk about how bad they are at parenting, send them this.
Speaker 2: That's why we are here and Ash, I think we
Speaker 2: should pack up and get.
Speaker 1: Out of here. So you guy than.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land