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Speaker 1: I just went for a little walk to get that

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Speaker 1: burrito and nice coffee. Down there. Really are go down there,

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Speaker 1: the people who live around here, they're all so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, just not.

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Speaker 1: You, your fucking prawn, just the features. And I was

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Speaker 1: just like, where are two arms and ten fingers, two arms,

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Speaker 1: two legs except for Buster?

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Speaker 2: Just exquisite.

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Speaker 1: I just was like, call these good looking people walking

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Speaker 1: into the cafe. Everyone's nicely dressed. I'm like, fuck, you'd

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Speaker 1: hate to be like below the poverty line walking through

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Speaker 1: this suburb right now, Meal.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie J.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Ash. This is fuck it up his time.

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Speaker 2: Don't fuck what your.

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Speaker 1: Fuck the intro up for the Mick Fanning episode.

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Speaker 2: Don't tell people, all right, don't tell I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: We'll keeping that in because I Ash, I just power

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Speaker 2: on through.

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Speaker 1: If there's a mistake, I heard about it for like

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Speaker 1: forty eight hours after your Life, We've got to re record.

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Speaker 2: Fuck. This is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the.

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Speaker 1: Bad, and the relatable.

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Speaker 2: And if you've come for advice, stop right now, pull

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Speaker 2: the handbrake up.

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Speaker 1: And go around and get the fuck out of here.

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Speaker 1: Although today maybe I'll have some advice.

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Speaker 2: Any anyone who takes advice from Ashton Wigs.

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Speaker 1: Don't say my full name the ato after.

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Speaker 2: Me ash Yes, I want to say condolences for not winning.

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Speaker 2: The Bitcoin better be a competition that is now over.

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Speaker 1: I don't need the money.

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Speaker 2: That's a life.

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Speaker 1: I definitely need the money.

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Speaker 2: But congratulations to those who have won. Yes, your bitcoins,

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Speaker 2: that's that forty five grand each. The boys round about

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Speaker 2: slinging up bitcoins like it was gone out.

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Speaker 1: Of fashion, sling me one. We could go halves in

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Speaker 1: a bitcoin?

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Speaker 2: Did you message? I feel like you would have messaged them,

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Speaker 2: and when you're like on a night out.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm waiting for elon masks right back to my

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Speaker 1: dam if I reach out to the boys. But look,

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Speaker 1: I didn't win. You didn't win that I know of.

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Speaker 1: Someone did win, and I don't know who it is,

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Speaker 1: but I will find you. I have a unique set

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Speaker 1: of skills.

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Speaker 2: But it's not all bad news because July is over drive.

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Speaker 2: July has finished and I'm back on the back to

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Speaker 2: my back to no place.

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Speaker 1: Like home, back in your neck of the woods, no

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Speaker 1: place like home. Whenever I get an order of better beer.

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Speaker 1: There's mainly more cases of this than the rest because

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Speaker 1: it is my favorite.

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Speaker 2: What's so good about it? Why do you love it

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Speaker 2: so much?

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Speaker 1: Just got a nice a little bit of a sweet

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Speaker 1: taste to U's not too bubbly nice. I gave my

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Speaker 1: mum one. Actually, what did she really liked it? She

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Speaker 1: was like, oh shit, it's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: She's a massive piss head.

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Speaker 1: Though, No, she's not.

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Speaker 2: She is no. She whenever I was spoken to her

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Speaker 2: on the phone, she's always she's always.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell her that, she'd hate that. She drinks moderately. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: Thank you, better be' gonna crack it beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Cheers my friend cheers.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, the doorbell's just run bust. He's gone off

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Speaker 1: his head.

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Speaker 2: I would just like to apologize for that little interruption.

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Speaker 1: That's right, guess what it was. It was a stripper.

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Speaker 1: Let's do it.

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Speaker 2: You wish you was online shopping?

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Speaker 1: You get it delivered to work? That is a rookie mistake.

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Speaker 2: L I'm meant to be able to spending freeze.

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Speaker 1: Jesus, I'm always on a spending freeze. Allegedly.

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling after a weekend dash in the club?

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Speaker 1: Well, we went out Thursday night, me and you. I

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Speaker 1: got to bed about one o'clock on Friday night, and

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Speaker 1: then I finished up at about three thirty on Saturday night.

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Speaker 2: We gammed up the ivy. How is it the ivy?

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Speaker 1: Shit? I had to pay like thirty five bucks to

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Speaker 1: get in. I'm an old man.

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Speaker 2: Did you did you say? I had to? It?

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Speaker 1: Was it for a birthday?

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Speaker 2: Lineup to get in?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was fun.

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Speaker 2: How long do you line up for?

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Speaker 1: I can't remember. I was so drunk. It was good.

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Speaker 1: I had a good time. It was for a birthday.

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Speaker 1: We stayed in the city. It was nice, sleeping, was.

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Speaker 2: A little little boogie on the dance floor.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember a whole lot cool.

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Speaker 2: Did you find it that?

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Speaker 1: Someone?

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Speaker 2: I spoke to Ash and I was like, did you

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Speaker 2: have a big night? He's like, no, no, no, I

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Speaker 2: wasn't that big. And then I jumped onto the two

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Speaker 2: doting dad's Instagram page and someone had tagged you in

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Speaker 2: a video and it was at like three in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Love is pumping lasers. Everyone's gone wild,

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Speaker 2: and it zooms in on one guy standing there looking

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Speaker 2: like he's lost his key. He's just a sad look

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Speaker 2: and they tagged at two days in the club.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how people like that sort of It

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Speaker 1: was wild. I was there for a thirty year, but

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Speaker 1: I was looking around going I'm fucking old.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was also like, I

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Speaker 1: can do what I want. I'm out there slaying, are

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Speaker 1: you though? No, I was just yawning laser ds.

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Speaker 2: I'm still recovering from a little little drink we had.

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Speaker 1: On Thursday, Thursday or Friday morning, which one? It was

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Speaker 1: good team bonding, Oh yes, good team bonding. How many

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Speaker 1: arguments we had over that time A lot?

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Speaker 2: It was good. Since then, my parenting is just it's

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Speaker 2: falling to piece of ash.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do that to people.

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Speaker 2: It's all going to ship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I had a moment where I don't know if Oscar

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Speaker 2: does this. Marley just started doing it where whenever I'm

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Speaker 2: cooking dinner, she's like, Daddy, can I help.

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Speaker 1: I know, like it's something that I should should embrace that.

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Speaker 1: That's what I thought.

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Speaker 2: At first. I was like, no, it's too hard. I

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Speaker 2: just want to like, I just want to get these

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Speaker 2: veggies chopped, steam them and then we can move on.

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Speaker 2: But then I was like, do you know what I

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Speaker 2: am going to allow her to step up into the

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Speaker 2: kitchen be my little sous chef. Then I realized do

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Speaker 2: you alan? You do things? And afterwards you go that

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Speaker 2: was really fucking dumb.

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Speaker 1: Did you Gordon ramsay here and be like, what are

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Speaker 1: you an idiot? Sandwich? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah I was. I was swearing at her.

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Speaker 1: Oh she wasn't tears, Like what is this with the hands?

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Speaker 1: What is this you call the scrambled eggs?

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Speaker 2: Fucking disgusting? And I was chopping some veggies, not the carrots,

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Speaker 2: the zucchinis. Zucchini is easy to cut, and Marley was like,

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Speaker 2: can I cut them? And I was like, you're old enough.

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Speaker 1: Sure, she's four. He's a chef's knife.

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Speaker 2: I didn't give her the big one. I gave her

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Speaker 2: a small knife.

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Speaker 1: You gave her an knife? Was a plastic knife?

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Speaker 2: No, it was but knife recently sharpened cutting knife? Holy shit,

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Speaker 2: what are you doing? Don't give me that tone. I

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Speaker 2: was trying to encourage her to seventy the kitchen. We're

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Speaker 2: having a bonding session.

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Speaker 1: Mate, you really, first you're given kids knives and now

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Speaker 1: this is sexism.

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Speaker 2: But she had one trouble with zecchini, and I was

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Speaker 2: like this is a terrible decision.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then at that moment, Laura's come in and I'm

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Speaker 2: there on my phone scrolling, and I was like, She's like,

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Speaker 2: what are you fucking doing with? Like why's mother got

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Speaker 2: a knife? And I was like she wanted it, she

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Speaker 2: asked for it. Anyway, Afterwards, I was like, ah, man,

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Speaker 2: what am I doing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, don't guys, if you're listening, don't give your kids knives.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you've just got to veer off the track to

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Speaker 2: realize get back on the track.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you need a loss to come back

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Speaker 1: to be like I need to be better than that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Like she does this thing where she just somehow finds

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Speaker 1: where the knives are wherever I put them and walks

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Speaker 1: out with a knife. Somehow She'll open the discwasher like

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Speaker 1: she's got super strength to be like, how the fuck did.

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Speaker 2: She open it?

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Speaker 1: She's tiny, And then she even reached that and then

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Speaker 1: she just goes quiet and I look over and she's like,

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Speaker 1: got the chef's knife. I'm like, oh my.

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Speaker 2: God, if it keeps them happy, let her haven't give

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Speaker 2: her something.

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Speaker 1: She's holding it by the blade like.

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Speaker 2: That, and I'm like, do you ever think I'll just

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Speaker 2: I'll leave it for one more minute because she's quiet.

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Speaker 1: Just yanked out that way. I was like, put down

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Speaker 1: the knife like a hostage situation. I was like, excuse me, lady.

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Speaker 2: It's not worth it.

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Speaker 1: It's not that bad. You're not going to get in trouble.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I want to get away from here.

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Speaker 2: Cal Why do kids love knives so much?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. That's what she started going.

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Speaker 2: Watching hanging out with April Sea Beast.

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Speaker 1: Baby Sea Beast. They have a lot in there.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of stabbing in CB.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of drinking and stabbing for a child's.

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Speaker 2: Hey, just really quickly, I did I know you gave

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Speaker 2: me some homework because you're like, it's not a pooning hack,

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Speaker 2: it's a pooning style. It's a hack.

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Speaker 1: You did it once and then you didn't work to it. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't work. Look, it wasn't ideal. Just the kids

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Speaker 1: don't care. Your kids don't care about competition. Yeah not yet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is how it went down. Hey, Marley,

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Speaker 2: I bet I can eat that corn faster than you. Marley,

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Speaker 2: I bet I can eat the corn faster. Show me

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Speaker 2: how fuch you can eat it Ready ready, Maley, here

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Speaker 2: we go, I can eat the corn first. Ready ready.

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Speaker 1: So she didn't care give a shit.

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Speaker 2: Literally didn't care a single iota, like no interest.

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Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's must be a boy thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a girl thing.

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Speaker 1: I think Marley is a girl thing that don't care

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Speaker 1: that well. Like I always thought April wasn't competitive right, like,

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Speaker 1: not an overly competitive person until one time we got

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Speaker 1: on the sangreeas on the New Year's Eve at a

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Speaker 1: friend's house and the beer pong came out and she

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Speaker 1: got real competitive. Turned out her and my best friend

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Speaker 1: fight full fight, like a competitive fight over this. I

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Speaker 1: just separate them wild.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know, maybe not growing to the competitive parenting.

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Speaker 2: Are they throwing a fizz? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Nearly headlocks over beer pong? We got pretty lit on

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Speaker 1: sang grea during the day.

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Speaker 2: It's sometimes sangree will do that to people.

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Speaker 1: She's not allowed to drink sangrea anymore.

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Speaker 2: It'll make the nicest individual turn into an animal.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, April is.

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Speaker 2: Not immune to that anyway.

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Speaker 1: So it didn't work whatever, So Beno's thanks for that, mate,

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Speaker 1: thanks for nothing.

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Speaker 2: I wanted it to work. I tried it for dinner.

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Speaker 1: I tried one of those starter guns in all the Runners.

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Speaker 1: Was just like, shut, look, Marley's a little bit more

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Speaker 1: intellectual than Oscar. I would say, really like I can.

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Speaker 1: I can easily just be like to Oscar, be like, come,

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Speaker 1: I'm got to raise me. There gotta raise me. Let's

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Speaker 1: go and be like, Okay, I'll time you. That is

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Speaker 1: the dreamt that doesn't work.

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Speaker 2: All the time we have been teasing, ash teasing.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm missing. What am I missing? What

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Speaker 1: are we teasing?

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Speaker 2: Go the childbirth story? You were being a big old

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Speaker 2: cock teas last episode. Would you like to go first

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Speaker 2: with your story or I can go first?

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Speaker 1: What you First? Of all, I just want to say,

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Speaker 1: there's no way that you and I could do what

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Speaker 1: our wives have done. Oh my god, that should cover us, right,

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Speaker 1: That'll get us out of trouble for anything that comes

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Speaker 1: after that.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, obviously.

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Speaker 1: I've got I have two kids, so like there's two

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Speaker 1: birthing stories. That's so you're not going to be Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is strange except for people have twins, and that

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be strange.

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Speaker 2: So I apologize. You should wouldn't be a smart ass.

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Speaker 1: I mean Oscar was meant to be a natural birth.

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Speaker 1: And on the day that was, you know, the Jew date,

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Speaker 1: it was meant to be my last day of work. Okay,

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Speaker 1: because it was like, okay, well after this, a baby

255
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Speaker 1: could come, right.

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Speaker 2: But you had you did your last day of work

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Speaker 2: on the due date.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, on the Jew date.

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Speaker 2: That's high risk. Well go to earn the monies.

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Speaker 1: I would have just left. Yes, yeah, you'd think that

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Speaker 1: I would have just left.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I may be jumping ahead, so tell me to

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Speaker 2: shut up if I'm asking questions that you're about to answer.

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Speaker 2: Did her waters break?

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Speaker 1: No, thankfully, thankfully. So last day of work, And it

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Speaker 1: was also a friend of mine his last day at work,

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Speaker 1: but for a different reason. He was moving on. He

268
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Speaker 1: was actually going back overseas. So after work, we stopped

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Speaker 1: at the part at the bottom.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell her that I was going on the bar,

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Speaker 1: but you didn't. But it was like just just like

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Speaker 1: a you know, last little hirah drink to drink two

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Speaker 1: pints quickly escalated anyway, so we went early, so it

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Speaker 1: was like I didn't finish her five We went on

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Speaker 1: like four thirty thirty minutes whatever. I had to get

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Speaker 1: a bus home anyway, so it's not like i'd just

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Speaker 1: been like run all the way home.

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Speaker 2: Like did you stick to two pints? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah because it stuck to two because I got

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Speaker 1: the call during the second pint. Lucky and April rang

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Speaker 1: me and she goes, oh, hey, like how are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm like yeah good. She's like, oh you are, like

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Speaker 1: you're coming home. I'm like, yeah, yep, I'm coming home.

285
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Speaker 1: She goes, oh yeah, just don't be alarmed. I'm in labor.

286
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Speaker 1: And I was like what. She goes, well, technically I'm

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Speaker 1: in labor. I'm like, I'm fine. She's at home. She's fine.

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Speaker 1: She's like, look, I've got a little bit of pelvic pain,

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Speaker 1: but I'm in labor apparently, and I'm dilated. And I

290
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Speaker 1: was like what oh shit. I was like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm at my home. Now neck the beer.

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Speaker 2: One more.

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Speaker 1: I get one more where I'm like, sorry, guys, gotta go.

294
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,319
Speaker 1: Judy calls, and then so there's that, and then I've

295
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Speaker 1: got to get on a bus.

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Speaker 2: Were you excited? Were your nervous? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wasn't not excited, to be honest.

298
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Speaker 2: Sometimes sometimes it's pretty green.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know really what all that meant.

300
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Speaker 2: You know, it's quite a nerve wracking experience. Sometimes you

301
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Speaker 2: could be more apprehensive because it's like it's a fucking

302
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Speaker 2: big deal, like it's you're excited to meet this little I.

303
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Speaker 1: Was more like, I don't know what a lot of

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Speaker 1: those words mean, but I'm coming home now. And then

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Speaker 1: get home. She's like it's a little bit more painful.

306
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 1: Like she's like, but I'm okay, fine, we don't need

307
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Speaker 1: to go to the hospital. I'm like, okay, cool. So

308
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Speaker 1: I haven't really done the wrong thing could have. And

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Speaker 1: then we had something to eat or whatever, and they

310
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Speaker 1: progressively got worse and worse as they do. We went

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Speaker 1: to the hospital just to get a check, and as

312
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Speaker 1: it happens, they're like, you're not going home because you're

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Speaker 1: essentially in labor. In labor for quite some time, overnight hours.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I couldn't do it, you know, I

315
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Speaker 1: couldn't do what she was doing, epidur all that sort

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Speaker 1: of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Did you guys already have the bag packed full of

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Speaker 2: the essential line, Yeah, you had.

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Speaker 1: It in the car just in case. But then we

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Speaker 1: also had like her mum on call if we needed

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Speaker 1: anything else or whatever, and yeah, and then eventually, like

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Speaker 1: it came time to push. I don't want to prolong

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Speaker 1: this story because you could be like, oh yeah, then

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Speaker 1: we had dinner, Like I had dinner, What did you

325
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Speaker 1: have actually sat on that really uncomfortable reclining chair that

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Speaker 1: you meant to sleep on?

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Speaker 2: Oh? They terrible, aren't they?

328
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Speaker 1: No? I was too busy push it and I'm like,

329
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Speaker 1: it's so bad, We've got it. And then it comes

330
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Speaker 1: time to push, and I mean April put in a

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Speaker 1: real good effort push push. We had to try and

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Speaker 1: use the vacuum to vacuum out EPI drill, EPI drill. Yeah. Yeah,

333
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Speaker 1: but she was just like poor man. Like I said,

334
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Speaker 1: I don't know how they do it, Like I've pushed

335
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 1: out some mean shit but nothing, nothing like that. And

336
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Speaker 1: it's like she was like pushing, pushing, wouldn't calm. He

337
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Speaker 1: was what they call it posterior. Yes, yeah, so the

338
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 1: head down dark, wrong way, yeah, completely stark. Our obsertration

339
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,680
Speaker 1: was like eventually he's like he's not coming out. We

340
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 1: need to have an emergency, said. I think April at

341
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Speaker 1: that point was like, don't care, just get him out

342
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 1: of me. Like we knew it was a boy. Yeah, yeah,

343
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden they hit that button on

344
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,360
Speaker 1: the wall and wait, what button, there's like.

345
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 2: A confetti comes down. We got to win. He's stuck.

346
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Speaker 1: And yeah, so pressed the button. All of a sudden

347
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 1: there's like fifteen people ready to carry because they've got

348
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 1: to move you onto a different bed to get you

349
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,800
Speaker 1: ready for surgery and theater. Sorry and all that sort

350
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 1: of stuff. Right anyway, the press the button and I'm like, fuck,

351
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,680
Speaker 1: where's all these fucking people come from? And then they're

352
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Speaker 1: like moving into beds and then they're like, come on, Ash,

353
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Speaker 1: you've got to come with us.

354
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Speaker 2: How many hours do you think roughly from when you

355
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 2: guys arrived at hospital to this point we're talking, Well.

356
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,760
Speaker 1: We arrived at hospital at about nine o'clock the night

357
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 1: before Oscar was born at about eleven thirty pm.

358
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Speaker 2: It's a long stint. So at this point, more importantly,

359
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 2: how is your back after being in that chair for

360
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 2: so long?

361
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 1: Fucked, it's still bad.

362
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,439
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you had to go through that.

363
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Look, lots of money has been spent on my

364
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 1: the same sinse. Yeah, it's never been the same sins. Honestly,

365
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,120
Speaker 1: I don't know.

366
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 2: That's pretty It's such an unknown, right, You're just like, hey,

367
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 2: I'm just a little passenger on this experience. Yeah, and

368
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,360
Speaker 2: I guess you tell me what's going to happen.

369
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 1: And it's all like I can do, and like any

370
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 1: man can do is just be like try and just

371
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 1: be there, right, That's all you can really do. Get

372
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 1: yelled at, cop it thankfully, April not too bad like

373
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 1: she was pretty much like you know, it was just

374
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Speaker 1: me trying to comfort her the.

375
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,880
Speaker 2: Whole time, holding hands.

376
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not touching that. Yeah. Yeah.

377
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,919
Speaker 2: Did you ever did you ever try and say come on,

378
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 2: April big breaths, No, do.

379
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,080
Speaker 1: Any Oh?

380
00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah I did that. That was the worst I ever do.

381
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be like, push a bit harder

382
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 1: next time. Yeah. I was like, you know, next time

383
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,840
Speaker 1: when you get a contraction, be like yeah.

384
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 2: There was one moment where I was like, come on, Laura,

385
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 2: you can do it through the nose.

386
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 1: She shut the f off. Shut up, Matthew.

387
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 2: I was like, I will not do that again.

388
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. So all the people come in the room and

389
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 1: they're like moving in to a more of a theater bed,

390
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 1: which is fine until they say, ash, you've got to

391
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,000
Speaker 1: You've got to come out now with us. And right

392
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 1: there on the floor is a big pile of turd.

393
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,919
Speaker 1: My wife's pushed out. So I'm like, oh, let me

394
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,239
Speaker 1: just get round that. Someone going to pick that up. Well,

395
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,440
Speaker 1: you can push that thing out if you push that out. Look,

396
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,679
Speaker 1: it was pretty mushy, and I vividly remember that. I

397
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 1: remember I was like, babe, respect, have I ever done

398
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 1: that in front of you? So every time I fart

399
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 1: in front of her now, I'm like, remember that time

400
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:58,719
Speaker 1: you shout on the floor.

401
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 2: I remember a lot of people kind of said like, hey,

402
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 2: jes so you're aware this may happen. They're shitting on

403
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: the floor.

404
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 1: No one told me I no one told you she

405
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 1: could a shot on my foot like it was wearing

406
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 1: brand new shoes.

407
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,360
Speaker 2: Do you offer to clean it up or no?

408
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: There was another twelve blokes there and we go down

409
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 1: to the theater as you do their prep for theater

410
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, And then I'm in like the small

411
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: little prep theater area where like I'm doing the paperwork

412
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,919
Speaker 1: bit right, there's a little bit of paperwork you gonna do. Anyway,

413
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: they pushed her into the theater and before they move

414
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 1: it off from that bed to the operating bed. They're

415
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,919
Speaker 1: like one, two, three, lift, and all I hear is

416
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 1: this big bang, and I thought she's on the ground.

417
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,959
Speaker 1: She's fallen on the ground. She didn't fall on the ground, Matthew,

418
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,479
Speaker 1: but like that was my first initial thought. Then all

419
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,439
Speaker 1: of a sudden started to think about that movie, what

420
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: to expect when you're expecting. There's a one of the

421
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 1: couples in there. The wife starts to lose blood and

422
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: he's thinking about whether it's going to be a single

423
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: dad for these whole life now immediately, so I'm just.

424
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 2: In this city's thoughts that they're running through.

425
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're like everything's okay,

426
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,719
Speaker 1: you can come in, sat down, and obviously they do.

427
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to look. I can't.

428
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,199
Speaker 1: We're talking about this what was the big crash. It

429
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 1: was just the noise of April moving beds because it's

430
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 1: like sterile environments. It just that's what they tell me.

431
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 1: It echoed probably dropped her and she felt to before Yeah,

432
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: she gone, she's in the theater room downstairs. And then like, yeah,

433
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: I didn't want to look the curtain. Remember the obstetrician

434
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 1: and the rest is a bit of a blow. It's

435
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 1: all adrenaline for everyone that's in the room, right, And

436
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 1: I remember they dropped the curtain and like he was

437
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 1: half out of the stomach and they like turned him

438
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:45,159
Speaker 1: around and like, and I was just like, put him back.

439
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 2: Is he still in the in the sack?

440
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: Nah?

441
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 2: Nah?

442
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 1: He was just screaming. He was purple screaming, like, which

443
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: is a good thing if they're screaming, right, because they're

444
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 1: getting all the shit out of it. And they're like,

445
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: do you want a whole I'm like, no, wrap that

446
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: thing up. I was just like And then obviously after that,

447
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful moment, right, Baby's born, great, some photos

448
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: and everything went swimmingly, except for the fact that he

449
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 1: was just screamed for like three or four days after that.

450
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 1: So that was Oscar. But the next one was a

451
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 1: planned sea section because we had an emergency sea section.

452
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: Can I just science before you go into baby number two?

453
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 1: It'd be really quick, It'll be really quick.

454
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 2: But yeah, don't you fucking shut up and listen to

455
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: my story with we haven't been involved in a cesarian.

456
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: Is that a moment of just a kind of stitch

457
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: April up and then she's good to go? Could she

458
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: hold the baby?

459
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 1: Good to go? Like? Up, you pop out to go?

460
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: You next time you can walk out. So like I

461
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 1: got to take the baby. So I'm with the baby

462
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 1: for like hours at this point, not hours, It felt

463
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: like hours.

464
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 2: Did you go shirt off?

465
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 1: Not at first? No skin on skin, not at that point. No,

466
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: it was like thankfully my mother in law and father

467
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: in law there and came out and we were you know,

468
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: everyone had a hold and it was nice. But like

469
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: he screamed the whole time, so that wasn't nice. But

470
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: he did, like stop bits and pieces doing there. But

471
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 1: I mean, can't blame with the guy's just come out

472
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: of a comfortable salm womb womb into the bright lights

473
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,239
Speaker 1: of a fucking hospital. Also did the lights a bit

474
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: like the poor kids, like.

475
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 2: Bit of moodlight.

476
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 1: I can imagine that's what it would be like being

477
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: abducted by aliens and they're like, okay, turn the light up, flashlight.

478
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 1: It's guys, just a bit of moodlight and you're gonna

479
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 1: stick something. I fucking wreck them.

480
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

481
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: Look, the whole twenty four hours was very stressful. When

482
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: it came to pushing because she pushed for ages and

483
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 1: ages and ages. It was kind of like not the plan.

484
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 1: It was a bit like all of a sudden, you're

485
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 1: going into like them and those out who are listening

486
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: wo have had the same thing. It's like, all of

487
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 1: a sudden, you're going into like a serious surgery where

488
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: you could die essentially if you lose blood. So, yeah,

489
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: there was a lot of high emotion for a couple

490
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: of days afterwards. It wasn't smooth sailing, which probably a

491
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: lot of them aren't.

492
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think a lot of people go

493
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 2: into these experiences with a set idea of what their

494
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 2: birth plan is, and you've kind of got to realize

495
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 2: that it's not really up to you. Yeah, in a

496
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 2: lot of situations, is up to the medical staff to

497
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 2: be like, this is the new way we're going and

498
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: we have to do this because of X, Y and Z,

499
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: And you're just.

500
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: Like, well, sweet, I'm not gonna Yeah, I've got a

501
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: friend who have two kids and they're both kids. She

502
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 1: lost a lot of blood like during the vaginal birth

503
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: and like nearly died both times. It's like you just

504
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: can't plan for that.

505
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is hang on a second. Eight twenty five.

506
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,919
Speaker 2: We didn't have lose blood.

507
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 1: Nearly die at nine point thirty at. No, that's high

508
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: level in terms of emotion for the first one, the

509
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: second one. And I couldn't suggest this more a plant

510
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 1: ce section. It's like checking into a hotel. It's great,

511
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: like turn up a bit nerve wracking, you know, turn

512
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: up check in, you know, check all aprils, bloods, do

513
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff, poking and proden her. I'm

514
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: just on my phone lines.

515
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 2: Can I ask another question?

516
00:23:59,520 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: Ash?

517
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 2: Not to send naive here, but if your first is

518
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 2: not vaginal, your first is a cesarean, your second has

519
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: to then be a cesarian.

520
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: Is that I'm not a doctor.

521
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 2: No, yeah, just a love of people to their doctor.

522
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: Were like, well, actually I heard Ash say that can

523
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 2: be vaginal birds.

524
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 1: Well, guys, there's a guy that I listened to never

525
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: met an obstetrician.

526
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 2: Ash.

527
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 1: She was drinking a beer at the time, taking booking. Fully,

528
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 1: I'll talk you through it. A look, I think there's

529
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: a really high risk of it splitting during pushing hemorrhaging.

530
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I look like I said, I'm not

531
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: a physician.

532
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: But I'm taking that as well.

533
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: We had to we had to. People are going to

534
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: be like, she wouldn't have had to have done it. Look,

535
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: we were advised by someone who I paid money to, right,

536
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: so we just took the advice. So checked into the

537
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: hotel and the baby making hotel. So you book a

538
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 1: time going we doubts look like this, do it first

539
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. You're done with. Get it over

540
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 1: with because I don't want to be waiting all day

541
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: in the hospital going to the theater like this time

542
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 1: not as rush, nice calm. It was actually really nice.

543
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,479
Speaker 2: Was there still that same bang when they put April

544
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: on the table? There was the bang?

545
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: No bang. Now I'm suspicious and I'm facing April's just

546
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: sitting on the side because they're putting the painkillers in

547
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 1: epidua or whatever so that she can't feel them cut

548
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 1: it open and all that sort of stuff. I'm facing

549
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: her like this, and all of a sudden, a hot

550
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: flush comes over me in that moment, And for anyone

551
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: who's ash and I were facing each.

552
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 2: Other, obviously she's got back to back, so she's on

553
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 2: the edge of the bed.

554
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And I'm facing her like that, and I

555
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: just hit the deck faint full faint and I've got

556
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: a photo here. I don't know if I'm the first

557
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:58,199
Speaker 1: man ever to faint in a plan C section. I

558
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: would like to know, actually there he is. Oh my

559
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: legs up, legs up on the chair, ice packed. No

560
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: one was even attending to April or the nurses, just

561
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: like are you a gay? So I remember I was

562
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: like holding April's hands and I was like just looking

563
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: at an April couldn't see anything or because it was April.

564
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: And then I was like gone out on the ground,

565
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: woke up, towel on my head. They gave me an

566
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 1: orange juice, which was nice. That is so I actually

567
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 1: spent the rest of the birth like that.

568
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 2: You poor poor thing.

569
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: It's all about me anyway. So our obstetrition took this

570
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,120
Speaker 1: photo because she was just like here a pussy, get off.

571
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 2: The flour and you stayed there all like it's the

572
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 2: safest place to be. You don't want to get back up.

573
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: And then well they're like, we don't want this child

574
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: to see how much of a pussy their father is.

575
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: It's like you better get up.

576
00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

577
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: So that was the second one, which everything else went

578
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: really smoothly. After that.

579
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 2: You made a full recovery.

580
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: I've made a full recovery well since I've never been

581
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: the same. What about you, Matthew? How did you go?

582
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: It was a little bit strange in that we were

583
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: in the midwif free program and.

584
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, fun is it to say that mid it's.

585
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: A fucking good word wed with we and a lot

586
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 2: of people said this, that's the best when you go public,

587
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 2: that's like the one you want. You kind of got

588
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: to elect it and then depending on availability, you may

589
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 2: or may not get it towards the tale, and unfortunately

590
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 2: the midwife, i mean wife one of her parents was unwell.

591
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: Who cares, It's not my problem, it's.

592
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: About us, it's not you. So she had to go

593
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: back to Perth. And then we were then passed around

594
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 2: a few different midwives.

595
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: Did you not splurge for the obstetrician?

596
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 2: We didn't, Sorry, money bags, jeez, it must be nice you're.

597
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: Bringing you're bringing life into this world.

598
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 2: Okay, but I think it was a case where every

599
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: midwife thought the other midwife had told us what was

600
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 2: happening next.

601
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: Oh, the classic miscommunication. So we were.

602
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 2: Rocking up and they were kind of like, no one

603
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 2: really knew. They're like, did Shantell say this and we're

604
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: like no, and they're like, oh, that's weird. Anyway, see

605
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: you later. We'll see you soon. And then we missed

606
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 2: our due date, so they were like, you're going to

607
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 2: be induced. And then one of the midwives said come

608
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 2: in on Tuesday, and we kind of assumed that was

609
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: for our next appointment. So we drive to the hospital

610
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 2: for the Tuesday appointment and the next midwife is then

611
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 2: seeing us and she looks at us a little bit

612
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: confused and goes, oh, you guys pack light because we

613
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 2: had nothing, and we're like, what do you mean, and

614
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 2: like you're about to be induced?

615
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: Were about from the hits that surprised you didn't know

616
00:28:55,080 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: it got them and they're like, got him? Fellas was.

617
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 2: It was such a fucking random moment. We didn't even

618
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 2: have the bag half packed, but it was at home.

619
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden, Laura, I don't know how

620
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: organized you are too.

621
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: I'm actually I was quite bad. Obviously Laura was. She

622
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 2: was in charge of probably now and Laura kind of said, oh, Matt,

623
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 2: can you go back home, can you get the bag?

624
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 2: Can you bring this? This? And this? And I was like, fuck,

625
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: it's happening. I never expected it to be this much

626
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: of a surprise, but she got induced and similar scenario

627
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: where Marley was posterious, head down facing the wrong way.

628
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 2: Baby got stuck. And it wasn't too long like, it

629
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 2: wasn't a really drawn out like, it wasn't over twelve hours,

630
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: but it was still a really long time and it

631
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 2: got to the point where the baby was just not coming,

632
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: no longer moving. Baby was stuck, and the midwife at

633
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 2: the time, who didn't know what was going on, she

634
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, if the baby doesn't move anymore, we

635
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 2: may be in a bit of trouble here. And at

636
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 2: the same time, one of the head obstetricians, I can't

637
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: remember his name, but he was what they say is

638
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 2: like the godfather of He was he was about sixty

639
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: odds and everyone said within the industry, if you call

640
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 2: it that, he is regarded as one of the best.

641
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: And by chance he happened to be on call and

642
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: was walking down the hallway past our room and he

643
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: was like, oh, and he popped in and he was inquisitive.

644
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 2: And then moments later there was a group of student

645
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 2: medical scrubs and obviously Laura was focused on pushing, and

646
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: someone kind of tapped me on the shoulder and said,

647
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 2: do you mind if the students come in? And I'm

648
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 2: not they're not like high school, they're like adults and

649
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 2: preschool walks in. But I said, of course, please make

650
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 2: yourself comfortable, take a seat, front row, reserve.

651
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: Popcorn anybody, no baby's moving.

652
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,959
Speaker 2: There was probably about I want to say, my memory

653
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 2: is somewhat blurred ash, but I want to say there

654
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: was about eight or nine students.

655
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: Wow, full house. That's a full house. That's a party.

656
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: I could have squeezed two more in there as a

657
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: baby shower, that's what that is.

658
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 2: And I remember there was a moment the students are

659
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 2: watching on and this obstetrician who is such an expert

660
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: he learned over to Laura and he said, hey, you

661
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 2: know you've really got to push here. Okay, the next

662
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: push on it's really really big, as big as you've got,

663
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 2: give me everything, and remember you've got to push me away, okay.

664
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking that's a weird thing to say,

665
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 2: what do you mean by that? And Laura looked at

666
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 2: him and gave him a little nod as in, I

667
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: understand what you need. I got this, and she just

668
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 2: retracted her arms, leant forward and gave this old guy,

669
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 2: the obstetrician, the biggest push you've ever seen. He went flying.

670
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: He now what was the most regarded obstetrician.

671
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 2: He was horizontal.

672
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

673
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 2: He landed on the floor and I was like, get.

674
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 1: Him, Laura, do it again. We're getting well, he's down.

675
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 2: Hey Luck, it's w W. And what he meant, Ash,

676
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 2: which I now know, is if you push me away,

677
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 2: I won't have to get involved and exactly, yeah, exactly,

678
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: but Laura and I thought that he meant.

679
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: Push him away physically, which I blame him. Yeah, he

680
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: looks choice be more specific in that moment. Yeah, if

681
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: he's the most regarded, imagine what the least regarded with

682
00:32:58,440 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: that was.

683
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 2: That was amateur hour by him.

684
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: Anyway.

685
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: So we got back up and they had to got

686
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 2: a doctor. What do they call when you have eyotomy?

687
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, doctor ash. Yes, So that's that's

688
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 2: how it progressed, which is fucking.

689
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: Horrific for you, especially.

690
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: Similar to yourself. I mean, I can't imagine cesarians obviously

691
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 2: a step above that, but you're just this person in

692
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: the room who was so useless. I'm so useless other

693
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 2: than like the odd you're doing. Like in my head,

694
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 2: I was like, give Laura some encouragements, so like, you're

695
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: doing great, honey, Like you don't.

696
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: I feel like they feel like you don't want to

697
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: be patronizing to oh, you're doing really good.

698
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: So I think holding the hand and if she said

699
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: I want a water like I'd.

700
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: Be yeah, that's like that's all you can do. Like

701
00:33:53,800 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: water boy, I was two jugs go, but like after that,

702
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: like just smooth sailing through, It's never smooth sailing. Let's

703
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: be completely honest. If you're having a baby, or about

704
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 1: to have a baby right now, or just had a baby,

705
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: there is no such thing as smooth sailing, as smooth

706
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,439
Speaker 1: as it can be because it's honestly, like I said,

707
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 1: your life will never be the same once it does.

708
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: Pop out of their screaming its fucking head off, and

709
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: some of them stop screaming, but others like just hadn't

710
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:25,760
Speaker 1: stopped fucking screaming.

711
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 2: Marley was was pretty good, like she was pretty quiet, Like, hey,

712
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 2: she was in her eyes open, she was quite alert.

713
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 2: I remember them saying, oh, she's quite she's quite alert

714
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 2: for it.

715
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: Did they did you do the hearing test? And they

716
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: look like a DJ. After the two big things over

717
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,720
Speaker 1: is there's like hearing's all fine, play.

718
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: And then this may not come a surprise ash, But

719
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 2: I took my clothes off and when.

720
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: Skin to skin you love taking your kid off?

721
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, like pants off.

722
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 1: They're like, sir, not, there's not we meant my skin

723
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 1: to skin.

724
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: I was shirt off about halfway through. I was, I

725
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: was prepared. I was greased up in the corner. Get

726
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 2: me this.

727
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 1: Baby ready to wrestle, Let's go.

728
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 2: My mum was in the room as well, which was

729
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 2: quite nice. Clothes both just standing naked. We're ready. But

730
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 2: I remember when I first held Marley and I was like,

731
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 2: holy fuck, I am now a dad. You know this

732
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: moment I've been waiting for for nine months. And at

733
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: that moment, I had a little cry and I wasn't

734
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 2: like a blubbering mess, but I was just like the

735
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 2: rush of emotion is high, Like nothing a better.

736
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: Experience, totally Yeah, And like I haven't held a lot

737
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: of babies when before that that's a lie.

738
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 2: You would you would go around the playground. Does he

739
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 2: want a little want more?

740
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: Honestly, I was like, can I put it down now?

741
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: Because I was I was just like, surely he's uncomfortable.

742
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: I wasn't fit, you know how, like you gotta be

743
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: like occupationally fit for it. I was like, it's getting

744
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: kind of heavy.

745
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: But I was also fucking petrified because yeah, yeah, delicate at.

746
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: The same time, yeah, yeah that Like I had my

747
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 1: mother in law and my father in law there, like thankfully,

748
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: they were like that's you know, and I was like,

749
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 1: shake it up, got c Yeah. At the same time,

750
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: I was just like, so hadn't slept either, because I

751
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 1: was next to April the whole time. Yeah, look, it's

752
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,760
Speaker 1: a whole it's an ordeal.

753
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 2: And then the reality of parenting.

754
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: Sinks right in when you when you're driving home at

755
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: forty k is an hour, like.

756
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 2: Is it okay? Still breathing, isn't there?

757
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's still good. The first time they have a

758
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: decent sleep and you're like, is he dead? Yeah, and

759
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,800
Speaker 1: you've got to go in there and finger under the

760
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: I was just opening up and that you're like, fuck,

761
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: well that's a good story, mathey. But let's let's move

762
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: on into my favorite segment, Tell Me Lies.

763
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: Tell me Ash. As always, we dive deep into the

764
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: DM's open you be go on, go on, and we

765
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: select the best lies that are submitted by the dorting,

766
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 2: moms and dads of social media. We get many, many

767
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: lies we do.

768
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: We get a lot of really good lies. We're helping

769
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: each other out.

770
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, only time for two ash your best one? What

771
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 2: do you got?

772
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: Yes, my best one this week? And I can't believe

773
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: we haven't said this one. It's on the list of

774
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: lies that we've received. We keep a list and just

775
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: chog my memory about something I do as well. So

776
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: this one says, when you're at the shop, obviously you

777
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: say all the toys at the shop are display only.

778
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: It's very good. We all know what that's like. You're like, ah, now,

779
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: sometimes you just buy and one to shut them the

780
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: fuck up off the back of this. What we do

781
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: with Oscar is and I did make a video about

782
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: this a while ago, is when we go to the show,

783
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: because they're display only, we take a photo of Oscar

784
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: holding the toy so he can look back at it

785
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 1: later when it comes to when it comes to his

786
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: birthday or Christmas, and it says like, okay, just to

787
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: remind us what he really really liked.

788
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: Brilliant.

789
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: There you go, brilliant, so that you know they say,

790
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: there's no advice here. Take that one and run with it. Matthew,

791
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: that's all yours. What have you brought for us today?

792
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: I think that's a great lie in general. But there's

793
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,959
Speaker 1: extensions of that lie.

794
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 2: Okay, Ash This one comes from Jessica. She has submitted

795
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 2: this one on the two dotting Dad's Instagram page, which

796
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 2: is the best way to give us your lines if

797
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 2: you had it read out on the podcast, which I'm

798
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,720
Speaker 2: sure it would be the highlight of one's weak ash Oh.

799
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: And call to action, go and follow it. Please. If

800
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 1: you're not following it, go and follow it.

801
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 2: Jump aboard. But Jessica says, I tell my daughter the

802
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: small car the merry go rounds at the show popping

803
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 2: centers only work on your birthday. So she is now

804
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: two and a half and will run up to the

805
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: kids who's playing on them and say that's great. The

806
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 2: parents always look at her with a very weird, strange

807
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: look on their face.

808
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 1: Look, that's really good, that's clever, and what a lovely daughter.

809
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: You're also making people's day as well, because they think

810
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: they're like, it's my birthday, that's great, it's my birthday,

811
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: and the other.

812
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: Parents are like, oh god, no, it's not your birthday to.

813
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,280
Speaker 1: Me there with Oskar, I'm like, look that's clever because

814
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: look those things are spending four bucks ago.

815
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: Inflation hitting hard and do you.

816
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: Know crafty motherfuckers too. They've put the little payWave on there.

817
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: When they were coins, you could easily be like, sorry, sorry, bud,

818
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: don't have any coins because daddy's poor. Now it's just like, look,

819
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: they know they know what it is.

820
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 2: Because give me your phone, give it.

821
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: And like Oscar knows how to use my phone. You

822
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: know it's my past. Cote.

823
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 2: You say that kids aren't smart, they fucking they know

824
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 2: what's going on. You know what's going on. Hey, let's

825
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: answer some listener questions.

826
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: Ashton, Yes, Matthew, how do you stop your toddler getting

827
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 1: up at the crack of dawn?

828
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 2: Yes, very good question. Two things that I do, ash

829
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: One is I put them to bed quite late, keep

830
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 2: them up to midnight.

831
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,360
Speaker 1: I keep them up till four am, and like sleep

832
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: this one off.

833
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 2: Sometimes I go to bed at eight o'clock and they

834
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,479
Speaker 2: sleep until seven. It's fucking great.

835
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: Seven's good.

836
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 2: Seven's the dream.

837
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: Seven is good. I just was thinking, like last night,

838
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,280
Speaker 1: how good would it be to get like twelve thirteen

839
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 1: hours to sleep. They don't know how good they got it, dude.

840
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 2: Well, when we were away, I think it was maybe

841
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 2: it was the morning that we left and I had

842
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 2: to leave here at like five point thirty to get

843
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,439
Speaker 2: to the airport. Laura messaged me and said, the kids

844
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: will slept into like seven forty five.

845
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how good.

846
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. One thing that I've started to do, which long

847
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: term is a fucking nightmare, but short term it's great.

848
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: I laid on me.

849
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: I've started, and it's Lord will be so disappointed in me.

850
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 2: I've started giving What if it's quite early, say it's

851
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:22,240
Speaker 2: like the annoying window is between five to six, because

852
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: it's probably too late for them to go back to sleep.

853
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 2: But you don't want to get up at five o'clock. See, like,

854
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: what can I give them? I will give them a

855
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 2: baby bottle? So Marley's four, I'll give her a bottle

856
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 2: of milk and a baby bottle in bed.

857
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: Instead, we should take them back to sleep, not always

858
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: which is quiet. Yeah, just it gives me My kids

859
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: have a bottle every morning, both of them together. That

860
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 1: it's like a bonding thing like that. I will get

861
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: them up the coming to bed with us and have

862
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: a bottle and then we'll all just sit there. It's

863
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: quite nice.

864
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 2: I know some people. I remember at the age of two,

865
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 2: another parent was like, your children are still on bottles.

866
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, judgmental, this is a no judge area,

867
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: going to judge whatever's easiest for you.

868
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 2: Parents told me that the child works up at five

869
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: o'clock and they give them a beer to get to

870
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: go back to sleep. I get it, part of least

871
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: resistances a lot. But now Marley's back on. So I

872
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 2: have to have to say to Marley, I don't.

873
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: Don't tell mom.

874
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: Don't tell mom, which shouldn't do that. Secrets are bad.

875
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 2: But then so Marley will come to me and she's like, hey, Dad,

876
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 2: give me a bottle. But it's it's like four in

877
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 2: the afternoon. It's not going to happen.

878
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: We've changed, like our school have oat milk and it's

879
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: a really good way. Fuck, I'm full against today.

880
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: You belong in the Eastern suburbs. Mate, giving your fucking

881
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 2: kids intolerance, Ah is siliac as well, fucking a glutton.

882
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: Here's a handy hint, Matthew. It's a really good way

883
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: to get your kids to drink water as you put

884
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: a bit of milk in, heat it up for thirty seconds,

885
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: then you cool it down a bit, with the rest

886
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 1: of it being water. Yes, bam, hydrated.

887
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 2: I feel like everyone does that.

888
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,720
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well so fuck myself.

889
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 2: What you're telling me is effectively just like, hey, it's

890
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 2: a thing called a dummy.

891
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: There's a thing called like general knowledge no shit, Ash, Yeah, okay, right,

892
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: next question.

893
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 2: What surprised you the most about becoming a parent? Ash?

894
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I'm surprised that I went thirty years without using wipes?

895
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,839
Speaker 1: What do you mean, like, I can't live without them?

896
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: I think we've been over this before, but I just

897
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: want to stress I love wipes. It's the best thing

898
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: about having kids. They are one of them, and I'm

899
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 1: surprised how did I live without them? Not wiping on

900
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: my anus, which which I know you're assuming what I mean, Well,

901
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: I use.

902
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,240
Speaker 2: Them sometimes sometimes if it's a it's.

903
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: A treat, I use it. Like with food, I'm like,

904
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: I got a burrito here, I'm like, where are your

905
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: wipes them?

906
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 2: I have to make sure that when you come over

907
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: to record that we have enough wipes.

908
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,760
Speaker 1: All that you've got like one of those enormously.

909
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: This is for the kids.

910
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: Don't touch these wipes. These are for Uncle Ash.

911
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 2: It's super sad, but also it's quite handy as well.

912
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 2: If the benchtop's quite messy, little chiky white.

913
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: I wipe the floor with it yesterday. Man, I'll wipe

914
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: anything with it. I'll wash the car with them. This

915
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 1: is I'm just out there.

916
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 2: They are bloody great.

917
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: They are great. They are great anyway, so I'm surprised

918
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 1: I've got through my whole life before having kids. So

919
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: I've got them to thank them for that.

920
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: I guess for me, it's just how much of a.

921
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,280
Speaker 1: Loser you are.

922
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 2: Emotional, I now crime more than ever.

923
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: Look, no one wants to hear that. That's all we

924
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: got time for.

925
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, thanks much.

926
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: Remember to if you like this episode, please go leave

927
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: a review, leave a review, subscribe, jump on our Instagram.

928
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: If you aren't going to give us a review, and

929
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 2: you're going to drop in and give us five stars.

930
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: I love it so much reading the reviews. Yeah that

931
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 2: it makes my week. And when I see someone's left

932
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 2: a review as a number of stars and not written anything.

933
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: It's worthless. It's not. It's such a tease and make

934
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 1: sure you follow a long hour Instagram because we do

935
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,399
Speaker 1: some giveaways here or there. We've got some stuff coming

936
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: up back end of the year. Of course, Father's.

937
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 2: Day always coming up, is coming up, so jump on.

938
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 2: And if you know a parent out there or maybe

939
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 2: could be to someone's having a shit day and they

940
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 2: don't have kids, they're probably going to be like, why

941
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 2: are you sending me a parenting podcast?

942
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: Afterwards they'll feel better about not having kids.

943
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 2: If you know a parent out there who's doing it tough,

944
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 2: needs to laugh and they want to hear two dads

945
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 2: talk about how bad they are at parenting, send them this.

946
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: That's why we are here and Ash, I think we

947
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,280
Speaker 2: should pack up and get.

948
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: Out of here. So you guy than.

949
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

950
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.

951
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

952
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate islander

953
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land