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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 2: one of my favorite episodes, Money Diaries, where I get

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Speaker 2: the absolute privilege of talking to one of our incredible

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money community members all about their journey.

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Speaker 2: Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got

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Speaker 2: a message and it sounded a little bit like this. Hi,

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money. I'm nearly fifty and recently separated

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Speaker 2: from my husband and I've now brought him out of

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Speaker 2: our family shipping container, small home. One of the reasons

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Speaker 2: we separated was our very different approach to money, especially

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Speaker 2: as we owned a business together. I was accounts in

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Speaker 2: HR and would work out the budget, which he would

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Speaker 2: then totally ignore, only to blame me if we didn't

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Speaker 2: have enough money to buy what he wanted. I would

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Speaker 2: love to share my story on how I survived our

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Speaker 2: ten year marriage and the steps I took to lead

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Speaker 2: myself out of this circumstance. Money Diarist, what a story

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Speaker 2: to share. I'm so excited about this. We welcome to

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 3: Thank you very excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: I am very excit t I d that you're also here.

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Speaker 2: The first question that I always ask on the show

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Speaker 2: is Money Diarist. How would you grade your money habits

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Speaker 2: if I asked you to grade them from A through

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Speaker 2: to F.

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Speaker 3: I'm sitting between a BUS or a C plus. Can't

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Speaker 3: quite make up my mind on that.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, you don't have to make up your

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Speaker 2: mind just yet. We can talk about it at the

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Speaker 2: end of the episode. My favorite question, though, Money Diarist,

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Speaker 2: can you tell us a little bit more about your

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Speaker 2: money story?

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Speaker 3: Well, both my parents were quite interested in money, and

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Speaker 3: where mum worked in accounts dad it went back to

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Speaker 3: study accounting, though he never worked in it, and they

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Speaker 3: did do a lot of collaborating with the bills and

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Speaker 3: things that check their receipts against their accounts, but it

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Speaker 3: was not something that was discussed with my sister and myself.

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Speaker 3: So it was sort of like something that adults did

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Speaker 3: not necessarily that children did. They did encourage us to save,

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Speaker 3: and if we were we didn't necessarily a lot of

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Speaker 3: money growing up compared to what I saw some of

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Speaker 3: my friends having. But I know that probably we did

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Speaker 3: have it. Mum and Dad chose to put it into

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Speaker 3: paying off their property, having shares, but I didn't see that.

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Speaker 3: I saw, you know, that I couldn't have the designer

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Speaker 3: top that I wanted, And you know, my sister and

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Speaker 3: I used to we'd get hand me downs from sports

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Speaker 3: Scale when we'd take the label, like the tag at

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Speaker 3: the back off the Sports Scale top and put it

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Speaker 3: onto a Target top because then we had two tops

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Speaker 3: that we could wear that were like the designer label.

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Speaker 3: Because Mom wasn't going to go and spend you know,

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Speaker 3: sixty bucks on a T shirt when she could buy

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Speaker 3: it from Target for like fourteen.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, I'm still like that but I feel like the

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Speaker 2: older we get, the less we care about the label.

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Speaker 2: We're like, hmm, young people definitely care about it.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I will gloat to you that this is

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Speaker 2: from Kama or Target. I will tell you that I've

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Speaker 2: got the best money win any Thai world.

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Speaker 3: Yes, definitely me now too. I think it made my

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Speaker 3: sister and I quite innovative when it came to how

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Speaker 3: we spent our money and what we did with it.

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Speaker 2: Very cool. And then what happened as you got a

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Speaker 2: little bit older.

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Speaker 3: I suppose it went to UNI spent a lot of

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Speaker 3: money on my horses. Yeah, traveled quite a bit, But

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Speaker 3: I suppose I always had an interest in saving and

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Speaker 3: being able to do better. Mum and Dad for my

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Speaker 3: first horse, I bought myself. Well, even just growing up,

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Speaker 3: they told me that I desperately wanted a horse, and

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Speaker 3: they said, well if I bought the land, that by

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Speaker 3: meet the horse. And I think I was in about

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Speaker 3: year two or year three at this stage, so religiously

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Speaker 3: from that point I saved for land, not really realizing

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Speaker 3: that land was quite a bit more expensive than a horse.

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Speaker 3: And then in high school I sort of worked out

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Speaker 3: that actually I saved enough money to buy my own horse,

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Speaker 3: and Mum and Dad were good. They actually supported me

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Speaker 3: in doing that over time. So I sort of always

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Speaker 3: had a bit of a savor personality, which maybe would

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Speaker 3: delve into later on. Is probably one of my downfalls

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Speaker 3: as well. And from one of my trips overseas, my

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Speaker 3: sister was working ski lifts in Canada, so I went

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Speaker 3: over to see her. I decided that I wanted to

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Speaker 3: buy a house. So I came back, lived at home

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Speaker 3: and bought a house. I saved up the money, got

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Speaker 3: the deposit, and went through doing that, had the house

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Speaker 3: for a little bit, and then met my now ex husband.

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Speaker 3: But my husband, and although listening to my speel about

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Speaker 3: him at the beginning, I'm like, we had some great

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Speaker 3: times together, you know, we had dreams together, we had

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Speaker 3: make it a bit sad about this because it just

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Speaker 3: didn't turn out the way that I planned. Though he

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Speaker 3: can be a bit of a idiot in some ways,

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Speaker 3: there's many good things about him as well.

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Speaker 2: That is so fine. I feel like that's such a

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Speaker 2: relatable story though, Like no one gets married with the

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Speaker 2: hopes that it doesn't work out right. Oh, you get

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Speaker 2: married with all of the hopes and the dreams that

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Speaker 2: this is going to be the happily ever after in

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Speaker 2: the fairy tale. Otherwise you wouldn't get married, would you, Like,

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't go this is my forever person. And I

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Speaker 2: think the idea that you know obviously, I actually really

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Speaker 2: like that you've shared that with us, because I think

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Speaker 2: that there's this idea that a ten year marriage is

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Speaker 2: a waste of time if the outcome was bad. But

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Speaker 2: it's not. You had a beautiful journey together. You learned,

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Speaker 2: you grew, you change together. You probably had so many

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Speaker 2: moments that are life changing moments together. But sometimes just

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Speaker 2: because it was right in the moment doesn't mean that

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Speaker 2: it's right forever. Yeah, And I think that that's a

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Speaker 2: really good story to share as well, because it's not

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Speaker 2: a rite off.

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Speaker 3: No, we were together like fifteen years, so five years

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Speaker 3: and then got married and yeah, we traveled overseas, spent

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Speaker 3: two years overseas living the dreams, snowboarding, mountain biking, and

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Speaker 3: it was during that that we talked about starting a

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Speaker 3: business together, and you know, came back, we got engaged overseas,

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Speaker 3: came back, got married, started the business, got pregnant, bought

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Speaker 3: a bird. The family of land that I now own,

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Speaker 3: And yeah, we had a great time together doing that

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Speaker 3: and ah building the business up from where it was

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Speaker 3: just him and me to the stage where we oh

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Speaker 3: say we but I mean the business is continuing now

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Speaker 3: without me, but we have several employees, we have contractors.

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Speaker 3: That vision that we had over in Canada, you know,

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Speaker 3: we actually saw to fulfillment.

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Speaker 2: That's very cool. That is very very cool to know

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Speaker 2: that it wasn't just kind of like a pipe dream

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Speaker 2: or something that you talk about one day, like it

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Speaker 2: actually happened and you built it and you proved to

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Speaker 2: yourselves that yeah, you could do that. So what do

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Speaker 2: you now do for work?

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Speaker 3: Well, despite like although I was working in this business,

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Speaker 3: I was also my career. All my background is in teaching,

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Speaker 3: So I still work. I've just gone back for well

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Speaker 3: say just the last three years, I've been back working

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Speaker 3: full time. But previous to that, after having kids, I

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Speaker 3: was working part time teaching, part time in the business.

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Speaker 2: Very cool, And let's be a little bit pervy. How

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Speaker 2: much money do you make?

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Speaker 3: Like I did look this up because I was like

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Speaker 3: I need to have these answers. So one hundred and

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Speaker 3: nine thousand and.

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Speaker 2: Is that including or excluding super now that.

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Speaker 3: Will be excluding super.

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Speaker 2: Oh very nice, very very nice. So I want to know.

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Speaker 2: Obviously life has changed significantly for you, But what are

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Speaker 2: your big money goals now? What are we working towards?

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Speaker 2: What's on the radar?

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Speaker 3: Well, definitely off the mortgage or paying it down enough.

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Speaker 3: It's sort of a long term plan. But I'd really

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Speaker 3: like to build a actual house and not live in

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Speaker 3: a cabin for the rest of my life, which, although

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Speaker 3: it's quite cute, is quite small when I have teenage children.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's absolutely fair. I can't imagine how cramped it

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Speaker 2: could become, given how many times I argued with my

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Speaker 2: mum over getting the sink in the bathroom way back when.

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Speaker 2: So I have no doubt you want that to kind

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Speaker 2: of resolve itself sooner rather than later. Yes, tell me

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Speaker 2: a bit more about you know this, I guess mortgage

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Speaker 2: and what that actually means, and how I guess that

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Speaker 2: has played into it. Obviously getting a divorce, things could

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Speaker 2: be really messy or things could be relatively clean cut.

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Speaker 2: How did you make those decisions around? All right, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to pay off this mortgage, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: get the home. What happened with the business, Like, I

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Speaker 2: feel like there's so many questions there that could be,

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Speaker 2: you know, really tricky, because I can't imagine I own

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Speaker 2: my business but my husband's not involved. So I know

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Speaker 2: that if something didn't work out, I'd be like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: well this is my business. I'm going to continue to

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Speaker 2: run it. But if you run it together, that could

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Speaker 2: be a very challenging circumstance, right.

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Speaker 3: Very much so. And though it was his skill set

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Speaker 3: that we set the business up around, so if he

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Speaker 3: took him out of it, the business maybe wouldn't go

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Speaker 3: as well as what it is now. And I was,

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Speaker 3: you know, my skill set is much easier to replace

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Speaker 3: within that. So if I suppose we looked at we

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Speaker 3: had equal shares in it, and because I had the

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Speaker 3: house before we got married, he did not have a house,

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Speaker 3: and he actually didn't have any super when he met

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Speaker 3: maybe either working for himself. That was something that we

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Speaker 3: sort of set up for him. As we've progressed in

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Speaker 3: our financial journey, like getting together and getting married sort

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Speaker 3: of thing, We're like, right, well, we need to set

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Speaker 3: this up. So I think I just was like, well,

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Speaker 3: what's fair, you know, and his time and intellectual property

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Speaker 3: within the business was much more of a percentage than mine.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, well, if he gets the business,

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Speaker 3: then in some ways we it was pretty messy, but

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Speaker 3: in other ways we wanted to try and keep it

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Speaker 3: as messy free as possible for our children, and that

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Speaker 3: meant keeping them in the family home, so that meant

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Speaker 3: me buying him out of their property. So from there,

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Speaker 3: I went and saw some counselors, went and saw lawyers

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Speaker 3: and talked to them about what it was, and let

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Speaker 3: you know, I upskilled myself on what are the possibilities

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Speaker 3: not just taking the first person I spoke to advice,

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Speaker 3: and that's something I wanted to share for anyone else

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Speaker 3: that's contemplating it is. You know, there's so many services

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Speaker 3: out there, and for some of them I didn't qualify it,

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Speaker 3: like I couldn't go because of my income that I

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Speaker 3: haned and because I owned business. A lot of them

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Speaker 3: were like, oh, that's a little bit tricky. We can't

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Speaker 3: help you, but have you tied this service or you

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Speaker 3: know what about these guys? And I would really encourage

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Speaker 3: people to make the call, ask the questions. And then

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Speaker 3: when I started to go, oh, several people have so

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Speaker 3: told me for our superannuation, the two amounts will be

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Speaker 3: added together, and then it separated and I had heaps

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Speaker 3: more superannuation than him. I was older, I had a

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Speaker 3: longer working life, so I knew from the get go

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Speaker 3: that I was going to end up losing some of

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Speaker 3: my super to him. But it wasn't so hard to

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Speaker 3: take because I was able to go, this is what

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Speaker 3: it is. You know, normally it works in the female's favor.

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Speaker 3: For me, it worked the opposite way because I had,

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Speaker 3: you know, that greater asset. But we were also then

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Speaker 3: my lawyers talked about the fact that, you know, because

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Speaker 3: I had more coming in prior to meeting my ex husband,

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Speaker 3: that it shouldn't be a fifty to fifty straight split.

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Speaker 3: And so having that knowledge and having someone that was

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Speaker 3: able to back me on that is really useful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, all right, let's go to a really quick break,

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Speaker 2: and on the other side of the break, I want

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Speaker 2: to ask a few more perfect questions, mainly about being

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Speaker 2: on a different financial page and how that played out.

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Speaker 2: Don't go anywhere, all right, money, diarist, We are back,

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Speaker 2: and I have a few more perfect questions up my sleeve.

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Speaker 2: I really want to know in your letter that you

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Speaker 2: wrote into us. You said, you know, you would work

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Speaker 2: out the budgets, and your ex husband he wasn't really

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Speaker 2: a budget kind of guy. How did that play out?

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Speaker 2: Was that something that was an issue the whole relationship

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Speaker 2: or was it something that just when you spoke about

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Speaker 2: the business was an issue or it was only an

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Speaker 2: issue in the lady years? Like, what did that actually

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Speaker 2: look like?

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Speaker 3: It was probably always an issue from the point we

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Speaker 3: started to have joint finances, and that probably came about

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Speaker 3: when we started to travel together. You know, you get

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Speaker 3: into a relationship for better or for less, and no

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Speaker 3: one's perfect, and so you sort of go, well, yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is his challenge. You know, I've got, as I

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Speaker 3: said before, I save money. I don't spend the spender,

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Speaker 3: not the saver. So it was just the further we

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Speaker 3: got along where it wasn't his money habits weren't allowing

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Speaker 3: us to reach joint goals. Then he would blame me

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Speaker 3: for not reaching them. And when we'd sort of we'd go, right, well,

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Speaker 3: we're going to spend this much on shopping, We're going

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Speaker 3: to spend this much on petrol, this much on you know,

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Speaker 3: our coffees and that, and he then wouldn't follow it,

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Speaker 3: but then blame me for not following it. Each scot

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Speaker 3: pretty One of the early stories is I was thinking

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Speaker 3: about this that I was when we were going to

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Speaker 3: travel overseas. He come home one day with a iPod

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Speaker 3: and I'm showing my age here. It was an iPod

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Speaker 3: that we used to have music on, not like burns nowadays.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I had an iPod. You're not that old.

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Speaker 3: Come on. Oh I teach younger kids primary school age

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Speaker 3: and they think I am ancient.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's because they're actual children. They don't get it.

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Speaker 2: I'm a millennial, not a gen z. So often I'm

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Speaker 2: not up with it either. Don't worry.

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Speaker 3: And he was like, I thought this would be good

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Speaker 3: for us to travel with. I'm like, excellent. How much

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Speaker 3: does it cost? And he's like, oh blah blah blah,

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Speaker 3: And then he wanted me to pay half of it,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, I don't know that I can

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Speaker 3: afford that, Like, this was not a joint discussion. You

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Speaker 3: bought it. And then to top it off, he wouldn't

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Speaker 3: let me put my music on it. But I still

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Speaker 3: was meant to pay half of absolutely not sir, Well

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Speaker 3: I did, but that kind of is a good illustration

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Speaker 3: of where we got a bit stuck and where maybe

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Speaker 3: I wasn't as capable as I am now. Life teaches

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Speaker 3: you these things of setting boundaries with that and knowing that,

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Speaker 3: you know, setting those boundaries early on would have meant

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Speaker 3: that we knew where we stood. Later on, where it

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Speaker 3: got harder to sort of, you know, go, Actually, I

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Speaker 3: wasn't part of that conversation, So why.

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Speaker 2: Am I then responsible for this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Getting some you know, impact from it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: No, absolutely so as you I guess progressed in your

303
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Speaker 2: relationship and I guess got further towards the end of it.

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Speaker 2: Were those things compounding or were you just sick of it?

305
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Speaker 2: Or were you just at a point where you're all like,

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Speaker 2: this is not going to work. Because to me, it

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Speaker 2: feels a little bit when you're saying you would set

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Speaker 2: a budget and then he'd tell you, no, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to ignore it and then say it was your fault.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, so that is textbook gas lighting. I'm not

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Speaker 2: okay with that, And I feel like that could be

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Speaker 2: over a really long period of time, really disheartening. You

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Speaker 2: start to really question yourself, Am I good at money?

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Speaker 2: Like I've been setting these budgets and he keeps saying,

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Speaker 2: it's my fault, I'm not doing it. Did you start

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Speaker 2: to think that maybe it was you not being good

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Speaker 2: at money or you having the issue, when in reality

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Speaker 2: that wasn't the case at all.

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Speaker 3: In my brain, I knew it wasn't me. And I'll

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Speaker 3: say that the behavior that I'm describing was not limited

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Speaker 3: to financial. I'm only giving the financial examples, but it

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Speaker 3: wasn't limited to yeah, of course finances. But it wasn't

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Speaker 3: until I was out that I knew well. I started

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Speaker 3: to see the damage it had done to my soul,

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Speaker 3: my emotional well being that I was sort of like,

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Speaker 3: I knew he hadn't had the easiest life growing up,

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Speaker 3: and so I could forgive him of his faults. And

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Speaker 3: I just thought, and maybe it's teaching, where you see

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Speaker 3: You're always like people can learn, people can grow, and

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Speaker 3: I thought that that's what would happen. And then over

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Speaker 3: time realizing that it's not happening. And there was a

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Speaker 3: couple of moments where the catalysts were where I asked

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Speaker 3: my children to not change their behavior according to what

334
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Speaker 3: their dad was doing, and I'm like, hang on a

335
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,640
Speaker 3: sec I changed my behavior according to what their dad

336
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Speaker 3: is doing. How can I expect my children not to

337
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 3: Is this what I want them to grow up with

338
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Speaker 3: that this is okay in a relationship because it's not okay.

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Speaker 3: And I could tell them that it wasn't okay, but

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Speaker 3: my words weren't matching my behavior.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And sometimes actions do really speak louder than words, right,

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00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: Like you can talk the talk, but if you're not

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Speaker 2: walking the walk, Like I feel, people see straight through that,

344
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Speaker 2: especially kids who are tiny parrots who just copy everything

345
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Speaker 2: that you do, whether they like it or not.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

347
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Speaker 2: So what did that, I guess translate into, So, if

348
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Speaker 2: you were the one who was good at finances, got

349
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 2: to be a bit pervy. What does this mean for

350
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 2: the business he's now running? Because if he's gonna not

351
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 2: be good at money, I just have a sneaky suspicion

352
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 2: that's not the best position for a business owner to

353
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Speaker 2: be in.

354
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Speaker 3: No, I believe, I don't know for sure, but I

355
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:31,560
Speaker 3: believe he has a very good admin person that he

356
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,959
Speaker 3: has put in place. That is, she certainly took on

357
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 3: the role for me a lot of the bits and

358
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: pieces that I was doing within the business, and she

359
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:47,120
Speaker 3: came from a strong money budgeting, corporate business. So I'm

360
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 3: guessing that she was just like, Yep, this is the

361
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Speaker 3: way it is.

362
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Speaker 2: Buddy, yeah, fair. I like it. And I feel like

363
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 2: sometimes you need that non related kind of party to

364
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,040
Speaker 2: step in and be like, actually, this is how it

365
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 2: is for them to actually respect it. Which sucks because

366
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 2: we could have had a very different outcome here, sir, Yes,

367
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 2: but we are here. You mentioned your kids not replicating

368
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 2: the behaviors of your husband. What do you think your

369
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,239
Speaker 2: kid's attitude towards money is.

370
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 3: I get worried because I'm forever saying to them, we

371
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 3: can't afford things, We're on a tight budget. This you know.

372
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: It's so I'm like super conscious of it. We have

373
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 3: done the barefoot like book, they've done the barefoot steps

374
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 3: for families. They've got their little jars. I think they

375
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,919
Speaker 3: understand it in that sense. But I do worry that

376
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 3: I'm putting my hoarding we must hoard money, that there's

377
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 3: not enough of it onto them. But then maybe that

378
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 3: evens out with his let's spend everything we've got sort

379
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 3: of thing.

380
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, that gives me so much anxiety. All right,

381
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 2: I want to know when it comes to investments. Do

382
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 2: you have any mentioned Super before? Can you tell us

383
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 2: a little bit more about I guess super and any

384
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 2: other investments you have.

385
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 3: Well, obviously I have the mortgage on the property at

386
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: the moment, so it was valued at six hundred and

387
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 3: fifty thousand, and I've got a mortgage of around the

388
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 3: three hundred and sixty five thousand on that. My sleeper

389
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 3: is sitting at one hundred and fifty one thousand.

390
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 2: Not bad looking good, Yes.

391
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 3: Like he obviously took a bit of a dip with

392
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 3: what I had to share out to my eggs. His

393
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 3: was sort of around the under fifty thousand, so it

394
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 3: certainly was a little bit of a chunk of that

395
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 3: went to him. But as I said, that's just the

396
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 3: way they sort it out, and it works in favor

397
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 3: of some people and not in favor of others. So

398
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: I'm still pretty happy with it. Shares, I have some

399
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 3: pair pictual shares. I'm sitting at around fifteen thousand.

400
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 2: Oh where did perpetual come from?

401
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 3: I had a financial advisor back before I met my

402
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 3: ex husband and they started. My grandmother left me. I

403
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 3: think it was about a grand when she passed away,

404
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: and then my grandfather left me about five hundred and

405
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 3: I put them into perpetual shares back. I don't know

406
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,439
Speaker 3: however many years it was. And we have added to

407
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 3: them when things were good, and we stopped adding when

408
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 3: things weren't good. But that was something that because I

409
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 3: started them with money gifted to me from my grandparents,

410
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 3: my lawyers were like, I get to keep them. I

411
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 3: did have to buy him out of them.

412
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: Oh good.

413
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's something. That's another one of those little

414
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 3: things where I'm really pleased that I've kept my grandparents'

415
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 3: legacy there.

416
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really cool.

417
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 3: And then I've got a very small Cheers's account at

418
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: forty eight dollars.

419
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: Oh love love.

420
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 3: Yep, and I will thank you for introducing me to

421
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 3: that because I wanted to add to my share portfolio,

422
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 3: but I haven't been able to do the big chunks.

423
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 2: From little things, big things grow.

424
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do five dollars a fortnite, so you sort

425
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 3: of work out how long I've been doing it from

426
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 3: that and just have an automatic. I did do some

427
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 3: purposeful buying and then I've just automated it and let

428
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 3: them choose. Now.

429
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 2: Oh I love that so much. It makes me so

430
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: happy when people. I guess share that with me, not

431
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: because you're using Chazy's obviously I do like the platform,

432
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: but I think it's just this idea that it's so

433
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 2: much more accessible. Obviously, the perpetual shares have such a

434
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 2: higher entry point for you to be able to contribute

435
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 2: to them, and if you were adding five bucks every fortnight,

436
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 2: you'd be like, maybe this isn't worth it, Like I

437
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 2: can't really see it. There's not that level of transparency.

438
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 2: The brokerage fees would be so expect on that, whereas

439
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: five dollars on chairs is really attainable, really really accessible.

440
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 2: And I think it just makes you feel a little

441
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 2: bit more motivated about your journey as well. And it

442
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: just you're doing the right thing, You're in the right place,

443
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 2: You're taking the right steps to create financial freedom, and

444
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: I think that's really sexy.

445
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: Thank you all right.

446
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 2: I want to know you mentioned before your mortgage you

447
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: have a six hundred and fifty thousand dollars mortgage with

448
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: three hundred and sixty five thousand dollars oweing on it,

449
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 2: or that was what your property was worth versus what's oweing.

450
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 2: Do you have any other debts?

451
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 3: I do I have a car line that I took over,

452
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 3: so so it was in my ex husband's name, so

453
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 3: I took that over from him, and there's thirty three

454
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 3: thousand left on that. It could be one of those

455
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 3: bad money habits where I'm like, it was a car

456
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 3: probably above what I could definitely what I could have

457
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 3: bored now, and it was kind of like a gift

458
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 3: of say, if you stay with me, these are the

459
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 3: gifts that I can give you.

460
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 2: And now you've got the debt for the gift. That's

461
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 2: very nice, very generous.

462
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is sort of during our make up time.

463
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 3: But it's been one of those things where I'm just like,

464
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 3: you know, that little bit, it makes me feel better

465
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 3: about myself, and so I have kept it. But it

466
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: might be one of those things if things, specially if

467
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 3: intrastrates on mortgages and electricity bills keep going up, I

468
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 3: might have to be realistic about whether I really need it.

469
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair. I kind of lack that you told

470
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: me that it makes you feel good about yourself because

471
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 2: I think that that especially in circumstances like yours, where

472
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 2: you said before you know your emotional wellbeing, and I'm

473
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: going to extrapolate that out to your confidence has really

474
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 2: been knocked. I think that there are some things that

475
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: I don't really care about the financial side of it, Like,

476
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 2: this is what's making me feel good at the moment,

477
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 2: and we're aware of it and we're going to keep

478
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 2: an eye on it, but like it's helping, and it's

479
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 2: you know, that kind of crutch that I'm going to

480
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 2: lean on for the moment so that I can put

481
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: myself in the best possible position long term. Because I

482
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 2: think that it's not always just about finance. I think

483
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 2: it can also be about your well being and your

484
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 2: happiness and your confidence and just how you feel about

485
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 2: the world.

486
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I do a lot of driving. Some of

487
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 3: those are like country case, and so having a good

488
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 3: car that starts, that's comfy, that's economical as as well

489
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: as big cars can be. You know, that is also

490
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 3: you know, part of it, and it's safe to drive

491
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 3: my children around in.

492
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, all right. I want to know, because I

493
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 2: feel like you've probably got a few of these up

494
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 2: your sleeve. What is your best money have It?

495
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 3: Probably a lot of planning, I'll call it budgeting for

496
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 3: want of a better word. Every fortnight, when I get paid,

497
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 3: I sit down and I write down in a little notebook.

498
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 3: You know, I have a different one for each financial year.

499
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 3: A going and getting the new notebook is really excited.

500
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 3: And the front of it has like my long term

501
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 3: goals and where my money flow is going to go,

502
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 3: and how my cash flow is, and might list my

503
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 3: debts that I've got and I might redo those quarterly.

504
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: But in the back is I look at all my

505
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 3: different accounts and I'll list down how what I've got

506
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 3: in all of them, and then I look at is

507
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 3: it better or worse than last fortnight? And then what

508
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 3: my net overall position is. And it's that idea that

509
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 3: from little things, big things grow. You don't see it

510
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 3: from fortnite to fortnite. But if I grab a book

511
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: from last financial year and I look at it and

512
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 3: I look at those accounts, you can see the difference

513
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 3: that you're making.

514
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. And you keep them all. You

515
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 2: don't like get rid of the old ones as the

516
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 2: new year comes in.

517
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 3: No, I keep them for seven years. Oh seven years. Yeah,

518
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 3: my parents are accountants.

519
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: No, I like it, the seven year rule. I get it.

520
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 2: I've got anxiety over the year seven. It's all good.

521
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 3: And then I'll work out what bills I have to pay,

522
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: you know, and it may even be my parents lent

523
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: me some money the other day when I had some

524
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: cash flow problems, you know, and that will go down

525
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 3: on that and then I'll list them in hierarchical order,

526
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 3: you know, what's most important to be paid this fortnight

527
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 3: down and then sort of track so that you don't

528
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 3: miss any and if you have to jiggle them around

529
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 3: to go, oh, this one's got a due date soon,

530
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: better make sure that that one's paid. It just helps

531
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 3: me feel like I'm on track instead of like you've

532
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 3: thrown up a deck of cards and you're like, oh,

533
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 3: my goodness, which bill am I going to grab first

534
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 3: that I need to pay?

535
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: Absolutely? Have you always been like this with budgeting or

536
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 2: is this something that you've learned over time.

537
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 3: I'll go back to that story I told it about

538
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: saving for the land instead of the horse. Yeah, the

539
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 3: second horse I wanted to buy. Dad told me if

540
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 3: I kept track of my finances for a year and

541
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: I could prove to him that I could afford it,

542
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 3: that I could get a second horse. And I think

543
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: that's where it started to stem from.

544
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 2: I love this motivation. Everybody's motivation is so different. Like

545
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 2: if you said to me you can buy a horse,

546
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I do not know what to do

547
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 2: with a horse, Like this is not my jam. Whereas

548
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: a horse you budgeted for twelve four months because of this,

549
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 2: and it's impacted the rest of your box. I love this.

550
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: If ever I need advice on how to budget for

551
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: a horse, I am coming straight to you, my friend,

552
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 2: because there is nobody who I would deem more reliable

553
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 2: in this space.

554
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 3: Well, I would suggest that you don't budget for a

555
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 3: horse because that really expensive creatures.

556
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, I've heard that we've had some horse friends

557
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: on the show before, and I'm always so shocked at

558
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: how expensive they are. But I will say horse people

559
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: are some of the most committed people in the entire world.

560
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: So like, if you're into horses, like get it clean,

561
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: because that is an expensive habit. Yes, I do want

562
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 2: to bring down the mood of the conversation. I need

563
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 2: to know what do you think is your worst money

564
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 2: have it?

565
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 3: While I've probably alluded to a couple of them, I

566
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 3: think having horses and kids is probably.

567
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: Horses and kids. Yeah. Fair, I don't have horses. I

568
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: don't have kids.

569
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely worth having it, but not financially, and then

570
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 3: just hobbies and school with kids would definitely add to it.

571
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 3: Maybe a little zip pay account. When we're talking about debts,

572
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 3: I didn't get to mentioning that.

573
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 2: Whoops.

574
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 3: I've used it for vet bills and for tires on

575
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 3: my car, and it was the only way I could

576
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 3: afford to do it because I don't like credit cuts

577
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to take out a credit cut.

578
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 3: Paying that off would certainly change things.

579
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: I feel like. I like the way you're using that though,

580
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 2: because obviously going through a divorce, you're going to have

581
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 2: cash flow issues like these are very common things to

582
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 2: go through, and if you're using something like zip paid

583
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 2: to actually cash flow VET bills, which are essential, I

584
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 2: don't think that's the worst use of the platform. I

585
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 2: think the issue is when you go down the slippery

586
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 2: slope and people end up spending way beyond their means

587
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: on things that they don't necessarily need. And so the

588
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 2: thing I really like about these platforms, which you know,

589
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 2: obviously we don't endorse getting them, but if you're in

590
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 2: that circumstance where you can't pay your vet bills, what

591
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: a tool to have to be able to cash flow

592
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: that because I guarantee, if you're anything like me, you're

593
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: as obsessed with your pets as I am. And there's

594
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 2: absolutely no way I'm not paying for that. Like in

595
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: that moment, I don't care how much debt I'm taking

596
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: on because I love my animals so much and that

597
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 2: is my priority. So I think it's it's also very

598
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: helpful to have a tool that enables you to cash

599
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: flow stuff like that, which is, you know, essential from

600
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 2: my perspective. Yeah, so not the worst thing, not the

601
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 2: worst thing at all.

602
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 3: And then maybe coffee and alcohol.

603
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 2: No, I feel like that apple doesn't fall far from

604
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 2: the she's on the money tree. I'm very, very good

605
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 2: at a coffee, but I did do the maths the

606
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 2: other day. My daily coffee does cost me fourteen hundred

607
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: dollars a year, and if I saved fourteen hundred dollars

608
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: a year and ten years, I still can't afford a house.

609
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 2: So I will be continuing my coffee addiction, and I

610
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: hope that that makes you feel a little bit better

611
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 2: about it as well. Definitely, so money Diarist before I go,

612
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: I feel like this has been a really special story

613
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 2: to share because you're in the position that you know

614
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 2: a lot of us in our community might actually find

615
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 2: ourselves in one day, and you've shared some really really

616
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: good tips and tricks about you know, not just taking

617
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 2: the first person's advice and making sure that you always

618
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 2: know your worth and that you you know, set boundaries

619
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: and put yourself in the best possible position. What other

620
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 2: advice have you got that the community definitely needs to hear.

621
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: I would go like relationships Australia was a has some

622
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 3: great resources and their people that you can speak to

623
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 3: on the phone have been really good financially, putting some

624
00:32:55,760 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 3: child support in place. As to you know, how you

625
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 3: sought out the timetable, how you sort out who's going

626
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: to pay for what would be definitely a resource. I'd

627
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 3: recommend listening to podcasts obviously that that was something that

628
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 3: really helped me. I think I actually wrote down some

629
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 3: notes too. Oh, if you need to go get some

630
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 3: good counseling, psychology, get a mental health plan, don't be

631
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 3: afraid to do that. I think at one stage I

632
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 3: was seeing three different psychologists because they all gave me

633
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 3: little different bits that I needed to be able to

634
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 3: drag myself through that. Have a tribe. Have your friends,

635
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 3: you don't have to share everything with them. I think

636
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 3: the year that it first started only shared with two friends.

637
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 3: I didn't let anyone else know. But I wanted to

638
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 3: protect him as well. And I didn't know if we

639
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 3: would stay together through what was going on and people

640
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 3: would judge him for what he was doing, so I

641
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 3: didn't want to share it with people that might then

642
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 3: if we stayed together, have a different opinion of him.

643
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,479
Speaker 3: So I tried to keep that outside. And I think,

644
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 3: you know, if you listen to anything by Brene Brown

645
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 3: and where she talks about the value of trust, it

646
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: was making sure that the people that I shared it

647
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 3: with were then going to share it with other people

648
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 3: because it wasn't their story to share. But then have

649
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 3: the people that my friends that kept inviting me out

650
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 3: even though I burst into tears with them every single time.

651
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 3: You know, you need people like that.

652
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 2: They're the good friends. They're the good ones.

653
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And financials run your numbers, like, sit down

654
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: and work it out. What's it look like now, what's

655
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 3: it going to look like on a single wage? What

656
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: funding is there out there for a single person? And

657
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 3: this is I know this is a female or mainly

658
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 3: female audience that we talked to, but it's not just

659
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 3: a female story there, you know, it does go vice versa.

660
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 3: And then take your time, but have an end date.

661
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 3: So I talk about the year that it was all happening,

662
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to believe it was happening. And

663
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 3: then the next year was my year that I was like, well,

664
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 3: it's happened. He's not changing his behavior. I don't accept

665
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 3: his behavior. So I had to have a plan for

666
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 3: getting out of it, and it took me that year

667
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 3: to do it and to live and COVID happened in

668
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 3: the middle of that as well. I had to live

669
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 3: with that knowledge and we were presenting a different picture

670
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: as soon as we stepped out of the house to

671
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 3: what was happening behind closed doors. But I knew where

672
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 3: I wanted to go, and I just had an end date.

673
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 3: And that end date ticked over. It was the thirty

674
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: first of December of that year, and the next day

675
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 3: I was like, what now we've got to work on

676
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 3: with the process of actually separating. Yeah, wow, and then

677
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: use your type in that process as well. I figure

678
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 3: route down there, Yeah.

679
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 2: One hundred percent, that's when you need the most support.

680
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the only other two things I wrote

681
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 3: down was that in that time, live like you already

682
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 3: separated so financially wise that if you start to it

683
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: was something I did when I was saving for the house.

684
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 3: I put aside the money as if that was my

685
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 3: mortgage payment, and that became my deposit, and you then

686
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 3: live like, well, I'm going to have to pay an

687
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 3: electricity bill and that sort of thing. So that same

688
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 3: idea that I'm going to have to live off a

689
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 3: single wage, how is that going to look and actually

690
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 3: live it? So you start to when you muck up,

691
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 3: you've still got the two wages to be able to

692
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: work around and go books, going to have to rework

693
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 3: that little bit and then journal and budget.

694
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like those are so powerful,

695
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,240
Speaker 2: and I feel like our community is so much richer

696
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 2: having had your story shared in it. It's very very

697
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 2: special that you've wanted to open up with us, and

698
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: I'm so so grateful. But I'm also a bit confused

699
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 2: because at the very start you said I think I'm

700
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: a B minus or a C plus, And as much

701
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 2: as you've gone through a lot and maybe you're not

702
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: in the financial position you want to be Like, from

703
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,959
Speaker 2: my perspective, you have so many of the good money

704
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: you have. It's like you're doing all the right things.

705
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 2: You're budgeting, you're cash flowing, like you're caring about investing.

706
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 2: We've spoken about your kid's attitude towards money, which you're

707
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: heavily impacting. We've talked about the fact that you know

708
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 2: that your confidence and your emotional wellbeing were not because

709
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: of this, Like, how do you do you still think

710
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: that you're really a B minus or a C plus?

711
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 2: Because I'm not gonna lie, my friend, I can't see it.

712
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,800
Speaker 3: Well, maybe my knowledge is an A, but my effort

713
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 3: is a C right spoken like a true school DJ.

714
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

715
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 2: Okay, of all people who should know how to grade

716
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 2: efficiently and correctly after all this time, my friend, it

717
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 2: should be you. But I do think you should be

718
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 2: giving yourself some more credit because I have adored their

719
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: story and I feel like there's been so much to

720
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 2: have learned from it. Like I'm just I'm so proud

721
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 2: that you're a part of our community and that you

722
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 2: wanted to share this because I just know that there

723
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 2: are going to be people in our community who are

724
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 2: going to breathe a sigh of a relief at the

725
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: end of this, and they're going to say, oh, at

726
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 2: least it's not just me, or at least I'm not alone,

727
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 2: or I'm at the start of this, and you know,

728
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 2: She's worked it out, so can I. There are just

729
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 2: so many people who are going to benefit from this,

730
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 2: and I'm just so grateful. Thank you so much for

731
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 2: your time today.

732
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me on. I have

733
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 3: really enjoyed the process. And you know, sitting down and

734
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 3: going through this and thinking about it, it gives you

735
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 3: an idea of how you are traveling.

736
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 2: I love it. Thank you so much. The advice shared

737
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 2: on She's on the Money is general in nature and

738
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 2: does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money

739
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: exists purely for education purposes and should not be relied

740
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you

741
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 2: do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS

742
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 2: TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.

743
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 2: Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money are authorized representatives

744
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 2: of Money sherper P t y lt D a BN

745
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: three two one six four nine two seven seven zero

746
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 2: eight AFSL four five one two, eight, nine,