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Speaker 1: On seat the man lost Colts.

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Speaker 2: Flo celebrations. My friend, it's our one hundredth cutting room.

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Speaker 3: Floor, is it? Yep?

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Speaker 2: They said we'd never make it, said that, but we

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Speaker 2: finally came through Jonesy and a Mandy you made.

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Speaker 4: Keep going please, I'm going to sit it out.

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Speaker 3: This one's made for you.

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Speaker 4: May.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's enough. Just your face.

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Speaker 4: This might be the last one we ever do.

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Speaker 3: Is your face set to disinterest?

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Speaker 4: Disinterest, dispel horror? Which I had a better agent the above.

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Speaker 3: Remember those Swan beer commercials.

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Speaker 4: Didn't have Mike Whitney was one and then he didn't

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Speaker 4: get selected that year.

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Speaker 3: That's he was two. Ey's that was too easy? Do

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Speaker 3: you feel Oh?

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Speaker 5: They said you never made it was for Swan Beer,

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Speaker 5: but there was insulting.

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Speaker 4: Hey, we've got some good news and bad news. Ohld

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Speaker 4: campaign around. Everyone thought you were terrible, but you're not

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Speaker 4: doing too badly.

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Speaker 3: Well that's what happened with its Saturday. But Darryl Summers

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Speaker 3: wrote the song.

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Speaker 4: Is his song?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's for Darryl. I think he wrote the song.

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Speaker 2: They said, and Ricky May and me, he sang it.

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Speaker 2: It's worth looking at on YouTube. It's just great when you're.

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Speaker 4: Taking a Darryl Summers song for a beer commercial. The

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Speaker 4: world's gone crazy crazy. Let's talk about cheating in the

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Speaker 4: world of sport. It's nothing new. You know. We had

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Speaker 4: sandpaper Gate for the cricket yep, lots of bits and pieces.

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Speaker 4: How about this. Someone has been accused of cheating at conkers.

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Speaker 4: Conkers is actually a sport. Do you remember conquers?

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Speaker 3: No, I do know of them. But it's a ball

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Speaker 3: with a.

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Speaker 4: Two balls attached to a bit of string like a

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Speaker 4: cherry cheery with the stone with them, and you whack

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Speaker 4: them against other peoples to see who's so dangerous. We

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Speaker 4: used to do it at school to see these people

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Speaker 4: which ones had fly off and hit win the noggin

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Speaker 4: pretty much.

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Speaker 3: So would the conquer actually break or would the rope break?

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Speaker 4: It's conquer Just be clear, con k e r. It's

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Speaker 4: not conquering. You're not conquering the world.

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Speaker 5: No, I don't know how, but I suppose if you

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Speaker 5: had a big enough concer you would.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's true. Let me tell you what's happening.

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Speaker 5: But can you just please explain the rules of how

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Speaker 5: conquers work?

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Speaker 4: Can you google them? Brendan, because I don't know why

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Speaker 4: you do that? Or two about this man. This man

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Speaker 4: was eighty two years old. He's been cleared, by the way,

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Speaker 4: in case people are outraged about his cheating abilities. He is.

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Speaker 4: He also is responsible for drilling and threading the conquers

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Speaker 4: that all his competitors choose randomly to use. But they

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Speaker 4: said he might have been cheating in that way, But

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Speaker 4: he's also been accused of cheating in another way. Are

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Speaker 4: you any attention to me.

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Speaker 5: I'm just reading the rules. I'm a man, okay. The

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Speaker 5: rules of conquers pectum style. Players face their opponent's opponents

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Speaker 5: one meter apart with their conquer out stretched in front

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Speaker 5: of them. Each player takes three strikes, have the opponents

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Speaker 5: conquer an alternatate, and alternate. The game continues until the

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Speaker 5: winner smashes the other's nut. The victor does a victory dance.

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Speaker 5: Humiliation is essential.

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Speaker 4: So you have to crack the conquer that's going to

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Speaker 4: shar it off and hit someone.

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Speaker 3: No, it's a conquer.

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Speaker 4: Well, conquers used to be actual nuts. Now they're not.

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Speaker 4: That's what the problem is here. This guy or you'll

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Speaker 4: love this The name of the spokesperson for the Conquer

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Speaker 4: World Championships is Saint John Burkett, and he and I

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Speaker 4: organizers became aware that one of the competitors, an eighty

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Speaker 4: two year old who is the one who's responsible for

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Speaker 4: drilling and threading the conquers, that he was cheating because

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Speaker 4: he had a steal conquer in his pocket. It was painted,

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Speaker 4: it was shaped and painted like a real conquer, and

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Speaker 4: it was threaded on identical thread and they said that

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Speaker 4: is cheating because it would never break obviously, And he

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Speaker 4: told people that eighty two year old told Sir John

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Speaker 4: Burkett and the others at the Conquer World Championships that no,

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Speaker 4: this is my lucky conquer. It's my lucky charm. I

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Speaker 4: carried around like a treasured possession. So he apparently when

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Speaker 4: he wins, he used to throw them into the crowd,

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Speaker 4: and this one was his lucky one that he held on to.

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Speaker 4: But it was steel. He wasn't going to use it

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Speaker 4: to compete, even though it was painted to look like

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Speaker 4: a real conquer. So that sounds suss to me.

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Speaker 3: So I wouldn't throw when he won, so he would

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Speaker 3: use that. He'd bring this in as a.

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Speaker 4: Ringing well that what they were doing was they trying

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Speaker 4: to see if he was cheating, and they found other

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Speaker 4: conquers that he'd won matches with, that he'd thrown into

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Speaker 4: the crowd. They were all regular conquers, and he said,

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Speaker 4: that's because I've never don't cheat. This one was just

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Speaker 4: my special second.

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Speaker 3: One, a fine conquering.

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Speaker 5: Remember fine cotton horsey, and they painted its fat box

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Speaker 5: it looked like another horsey and it won the horsey race.

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Speaker 3: I know you think you're talking about Cummings. He he

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Speaker 3: knows his business. So how did they bust him?

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Speaker 4: Well, those asked him about it. He's eighting too. Now

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Speaker 4: how did he go to chase him down in a van?

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Speaker 4: They said to him, are you cheating? What he said,

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Speaker 4: empty your pockets? He said no, I would never use

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Speaker 4: this for actual conkers. This is my lucky right.

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Speaker 3: But then they said, come on mate, fesce it up.

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Speaker 4: No he didn't cheat.

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Speaker 3: He's been cleared.

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Speaker 4: I think I started with that. You stop listening at

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Speaker 4: the very beginning. He is beaked. Don't rub your face.

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Speaker 4: How did we make it to a hundred of these?

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Speaker 4: But doesn't that remind you though of the cheating in

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Speaker 4: some really oblique kind of sports. You remember the chest cheater?

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Speaker 4: He also has been cleared apparently, but this chess player,

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Speaker 4: very elite chess player, was accused of cheating, boozing, vibrating

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Speaker 4: anal beads during a match. Wonderf they are the size

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Speaker 4: of conquers. He put them up the bot bop. This

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Speaker 4: is what he was accused.

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Speaker 3: I do understand how anal beach h A lot of.

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Speaker 4: People may not put them up the bot bot and

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Speaker 4: someone else with a remote control would move them to

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Speaker 4: tell him what move he should make. Really, I think

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Speaker 4: I'll move my queen so he The man who has

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Speaker 4: been accused of being this cheatah is a grand master.

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Speaker 4: He assued the accuser for one hundred million dollars.

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Speaker 3: One hundred million dollars.

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Speaker 4: I wonder what you have to do to prove that

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Speaker 4: you're not. Because this man, the chess master, is a

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Speaker 4: self taught prodigy from San Francisco. He defeated the world champion,

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Speaker 4: ending a fifty three match winning streak, which is why

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Speaker 4: people thought he's cheating. Let me explain that what's written

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Speaker 4: here is see if this match is what I've said

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Speaker 4: about how the anal beads work. Defeating chess player Magnus

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Speaker 4: Carlson decided that The way he'd done it was by

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Speaker 4: vibrating anal beads inside his rectum and having more experienced

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Speaker 4: chess players looking on with the remote and sending messages

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Speaker 4: through his.

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Speaker 5: Butt like moss code and dot dot dot Dash Dash Dash.

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Speaker 4: You know it's a funny old well, I think.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't playing k plunk.

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Speaker 4: Mamn. Get it. You know the game complix it drops out?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we lost it there. Happy hundredth birthday, birthday.

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Speaker 4: Let's go and have a celebratory muffin.

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Speaker 1: Today. On for some more chaun Z and don Manos

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Speaker 1: Fardy

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Speaker 3: Floor