WEBVTT - Dating a Narcissist 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.280 If you play with their head, it's going to keep 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:27.800 pulling off. Brittany, she's talking about my microphone. Guys, am 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:31.560 I Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:36.000 Life Uncut. I'm Laura, and I'm Brittany and psych This 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:38.720 is our Tuesday episode. On Thursday. I know we've done 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:41.159 the whole switcher room. If you listen to Tuesday's episode, 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:43.280 then you would know this week. We did ask guncut 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:47.840 on Tuesday, which means that today is the big, meaty episode, 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:50.280 just the way you like it. And we do have 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:53.159 a big one to unpack today, but we're not going 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.840 to get in there yet. Let's unpack our life, Laura. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.120 Can we keep talking about meeting and getting in there? 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:01.680 That gets you going, doesn't it. It's the little things 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.800 these days, isn't it. Oh? Well, yeah, the small thrills, 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.800 the cheap thrills. Anyway, what have you been doing in 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.840 the last forty eight hours? So I a couple of 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.800 weeks ago, I was telling you guys about how I 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:16.640 was really really anxious about getting Mally into daycare, and 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:21.800 today we had orientation. She's in my wild anxiety has 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:25.200 not subsided at all. I spent the whole time, one 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.920 hour of orientation, and this lovely lady was trying to 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:29.600 like talk me through like the day and what they 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:31.479 do and what they eat and all this stuff, and 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.680 all my brain was doing was looking at small things 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:36.240 on the ground, being like, that's a choking hazard. That 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.240 right there is a joking hazard. That boy's got her 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.080 eye on her, that's a choking hazard. Why has that 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:41.520 kid got an ice back on his head? What did 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:43.800 he run into? What happened to you? She's definitely gonna 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:46.759 run into something. She's gonna fall over, she's gonna have scratches, 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.360 and you can stop. That doesn't make me feel any better, 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.400 but it should, because this is life. You're gonna get 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.680 knocked down. She's gonna want to get back up real quick. 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.000 This is how you teach your kids a bit of resilience. 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:58.640 And I think that this is going to probably teach 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.640 me a bit of resilience as well. I think this 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.720 is going to be a really hard time for you 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:05.320 at the start, and then I think you're gonna love it. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.680 I think you're not gonna know yourself having all this 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.359 extra time. You're gonna love that. She's socializing and she's 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:13.520 gonna make little friends. She's gonna have an amazing time. 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.840 So she starts next week, and I figure by about 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.200 the three or four week mark, I'll probably just drop 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:19.680 her off in the morning and forget that I even 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:21.639 put her there. Yeah, you went back a week later 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:22.880 and pick her up. Yeah you don't even know who 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.440 she is. Yeah, she's got a boyfriend, a tattoo, and 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.680 she's moving out on Friday. You be back home drinking margaritas. 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.839 Tell me how your day has been. I've seen you. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.079 I mean I haven't seen you for a whole twelve hours, 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.079 So it's been a long twelve hours. My day. I 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.120 had the day at the hospital. I went to a 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.799 fancy pants lunch for an hour and it was brilliant. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.160 Then I just came home and worked got ghost to 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:46.639 buy guy I was seeing. But we're not going to 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:50.240 talk about that. Actually we are going to talk about that. 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:54.000 Last week Brittany had a boyfriend and this week he's 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.280 gone missing. She uses that term loosely. I was going 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.840 on some dates with a guy, but he has dis 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.320 Should we start putting out the missing person poster? At 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:05.760 what point? Like, how many days can you go without 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.480 hearing from a guy before you have been categorically ghosted. 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.360 Where does it? Where does it? I don't know. I 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:14.640 think it depends on how it ended. But I also 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.440 have a message team. Since it's been like four days, 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:19.919 just adding another one to the list. Single and you're 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.400 thirty guys, If you haven't listened to that episode yet, 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.720 we highly recommend get on it. It's a bloody battleground 0:03:25.720 --> 0:03:27.880 out there. But you know what this behavior has been. 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.040 I think we like to kind of pretend like it's 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.200 new age, like that the ghosting is a new thing. 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.680 Ghosting has been around for forever except forever. Except back 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.400 in the day. It probably it would happen in like 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.920 a less significant way, like obviously if someone didn't call 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.640 your landline again, they were gone. You didn't know what 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:45.520 happened to them. The problem with ghosting now is that 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.600 you can check up on them on social media. You 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:49.280 can check up on them and see what they're doing, 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.200 so you can be like, oh, well, I know you're 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.320 not dead. But back in the day, you just wouldn't 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.240 hear from them, and you'd be like, oh, they've been 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.000 abducted by aliens. Anal probing. It's the only thing that 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.160 makes sense. Anal property he'll prove it. It's not the 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.200 only thing that makes sense, but I love that that's 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:07.480 the conclusion you've gone to. Naturally, no look in all honesty. 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.040 I could have also contacted him. We both went away 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:11.520 for the week, we saw each other before the weekend, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:13.600 we went away for the weekend. Neither of us have 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:15.680 contact each other. So I'm probably as bad as him. 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:17.400 But I did send the last text, so that makes 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:19.839 me feel better. It's also still early days, like you 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.640 could probably will hear from him again. But my question, 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.640 my other question is I have a few questions and 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:27.080 feelings about this. We love. That is how many days 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.440 can pass before you get that hey, how you been 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.159 text And it be okay if you haven't seen it 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.200 or heard from him for like six months and he's like, hey, sup, 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:38.599 what have you been doing? Or is it like a 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.480 week like where's that line in the sand where you're like, oh, okay, 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.360 well we were texting every day and now I haven't 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:45.200 heard from you for two weeks. Now after two weeks, 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:47.599 I'm like, hey, babe, who di is? That's my response? Sorry, 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.520 I've got a new number. Hey Bay, Sorry I deleted 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.920 my context? Who is this? I know? Do you want 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.839 to know another thing. I've started my half marathon training. 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.280 I went for what my first run. I was like, 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.120 you know what, you wake up those days, actually you 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.479 might not know. You wake up those days you feel 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:06.240 extra motivated. You're like, I'm gonna go and slay the 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:09.520 fitness world. Yeah. No, I can't relate. But that's okay, Okay, 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:13.000 so that's the that's I don't like running, but I'm 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:14.880 doing this half marathon. So I was like, I woke 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:16.680 up and I was like, this is the day. I'm 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.279 on it. I had a fake tan on, so I 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.240 felt good. I put my shorts on, put my runners on. 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:24.159 Don't laugh. Fake tan makes everything better. And I was like, 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.240 I'm gonna go and start training. I went on this 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.720 one run, pulled my muscle and had to like limp back. 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:31.560 I was like, this is disaster. Contrary to popular belief, 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:33.680 fake tan does not make you run fast. That no, 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:37.159 So let's get into an accidentally unfiltered All right, guys, Well, 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.200 it is time for our favorite part of the episode, 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.359 and that is when you send in your most embarrassing 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.960 stories and we all laugh at you together like the beautiful, wonderful, 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:50.479 heartfelt community that we are kick it off. I was 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:54.080 so deep, deep like a puddle. Guys. All right, So 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.080 I just started a new job and my boss is 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:00.040 freaking hot. I'm talking like ten out of ten and 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:03.000 crash your scooter type hoot. To anyone who listened to 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.320 the episode a few weeks ago, you would get that reference. 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:10.800 That was the guy that ghosted me. After working in 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:13.560 a female dominated industry for the last few years, you 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:16.359 can imagine my excitement at this. So of course I 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.000 told all of my friends about my new boss day 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.440 in COVID fashion, I had to do all my training online, 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.839 meaning zoom calls with the man himself. Day one on 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.520 the job and I had my first zoom meeting with him. 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.960 I was having some technical difficulties, so I shared my 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.240 screen so that he could see what I was doing 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:38.320 on my computer, and, to my absolute fucking horror, minutes 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:41.920 into sharing my screen, a notification popped up front and 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.320 center from my best friends saying, hey, babe, so when's 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:51.400 the call start with your future hottie hobby. Aha. I 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.800 tried to hide it as quickly as I could, being 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.520 the absolute ten out of ten that he years. He 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.160 acted like he didn't see anything but that didn't stop 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.560 me from going bright red and him also laughing for 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:05.200 the rest of the meeting. I'm planning your funeral now. 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:08.039 I just love this. Do you know how many stories 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:11.320 I have now heard about people sharing their screen and 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:15.320 having like super inappropriate tabs open. I have heard no stories, 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:18.320 but I love this so much. I was on a 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:22.560 Zoom meeting just recently. This is a totally different thing. 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:24.600 I was on a Zoom meeting recently, and I'm so 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:26.520 convinced the person I was on a Zoom meeting with 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:31.480 just farted and kept talking. They would have for sure 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:34.200 so good they were, but also based in Melbourne, so 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.640 it's totally excusable. All like sense of self has kind 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:39.680 of gone out the window. Do you know, just because 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:42.480 they're in Melbourne? Yeah, because you been in lockdown? Are 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:44.440 you true? True? I mean we were only in lockdown 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:46.240 for a few weeks and I had to train myself 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:48.040 not to far in public again. But I'm like a 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:52.120 boss anyway. But no, So I've received messages that have 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:55.040 come in. We've received messages that have come in which 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.960 haven't been like full accidentally unfiltered stories, but people who 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:02.080 have accidentally shared their screen with colleagues or bosses, and 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.200 they've had like porn tabs or dildo or sex shops 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.680 or things open as well. So I think that this 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.320 has happened more than once. I'm gonna tell you my 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:13.600 accidentally Unfiltered that I'm bringing to the table today because 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:17.840 it's fucking brilliant. I'm just gonna I'm just retelling the story, guys, 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:22.040 because this lovely lady, she actually voicemailed in her story, 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:25.400 so she DMed us with a voice memo on Instagram 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:27.120 because she just thought it was so funny. So I'm 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.720 just gonna retell you the story. Basically, she's seen this guy. 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:32.839 She was super, super super into him. She thought he 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:37.840 was so hot. Now this woman does something that I 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:40.760 used to do. You might remember when the way that 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.680 accidentally unfiltered started. If you guys are an original listener, 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.400 you'll know that it started because my sister and I 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.160 do this thing where we send each other photos and 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.840 videos of our day. We've logged to each other, and 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.520 it's always ugly photos. We're always trying to out ugly 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:58.000 each other, like in the most hideous costumes. I accidentally 0:08:58.040 --> 0:08:59.760 sent one of those to a guy I was seen 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:03.600 and that is how accidentally unfiltered it started. So fast 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:05.839 forward a year. This girl's gone on this really hot 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.240 date and she does the same thing with her best friend. 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:11.360 They vlog their days to each other, which is very 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.560 modern day. This is very gen y. Basically, like they 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:16.640 take a little video like hey babe, like today, blah 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:18.560 blah blah, and then they send it instead of having 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.040 to have a phone call or instead of calling or texting, 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:23.599 they just constantly take the video recording and send it 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.240 to each other. So she's got on this date with 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:28.280 this guy who she thinks is fucking the ants pants. 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.720 So she gets home, she puts on her big pink, 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.760 ugly fluffy dressing gown. She's taken a makeup off, so 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:37.280 she's got her hair and top not no makeup. When 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:40.559 she got this big hideous, ugly, pink fluffy dressing gown, 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:43.959 and she goes to town on the vlog to her 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:47.240 friend saying how amazing the date was, how hot he was, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.040 how in love she is, how she thinks it's the 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.280 best thing ever. She goes on and on and on, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.520 and she makes a point of being really ugly in 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.920 the video because that's what's funny with her friend and 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:01.080 sends it to a friend and then goes, fuck, she 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:04.160 sent it to the guy she's just been on the 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.920 date with. Now this I know you think that this 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:11.080 couldn't get better, but it does because she had just 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:12.559 been on the date with him and she was like 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:15.520 feeling him out. So she's like, so, like, you know, 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:17.080 where do you see this going? Like what are you 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.600 looking for? And he goes definitely not looking for a relationship, 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.360 looking something really casual. She's like, oh, totally like me too. 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:27.120 I'm just like super casu as well gets home ten 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.040 minutes later and vlogs him how we're getting married. I've 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:31.760 already hit that they knew the date and the people 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.040 who are doing the flowers. It's gonna beautiful. Keep the 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:38.640 eleventh of November free. I actually I was dying, like 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.760 I couldn't stop laughing, and my heart goes out to 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.120 a bit. She laughed it off. She was like, what 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:45.720 do you do? Actually, what do you do? Nothing? You 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.120 own it. The voice memo came through when Britt had 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:49.720 come over to my house, so we both got to 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:53.200 listen to this back together and simultaneously died on the 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:57.000 couch for you you're out there you're listening, you know what. 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.200 We might be laughing at you, but we're really laughing 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.120 with you. But don't worry. I'm laughing so much because 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.760 I've done exactly the same thing. So I feel for you, 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.160 but bless your soul. I hope you do marry him. 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.320 I have another one. I know that, like we usually 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.000 only do tit for tat, but I'm gonna check another 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.280 one out here anyway, because this is like really innocent. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:16.600 I love her when people ride in there like, this 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.520 is my friend's story, you know, as a girl. A 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.400 friend of mine recently told me this story and I 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.200 wanted to share it with you guys. So she was 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.320 expecting her sister and little nephew to come for morning tea. 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.000 So when she heard the doorbell ring, she got super 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.240 excited and she opened the door on her knees, expecting 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:36.200 her little nephew, only to find that she was staring 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:39.559 at crotch height to a delivery man. Now, what makes 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:44.120 this thing worse is that she opened the door saying hello, 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:51.920 little man with her arms out wide. I love he 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:55.120 would have been like a bing go just staring straight 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.760 at the guy's pain. Anyway, I am dead. I love 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:06.920 it a little man. I have one more too. We're 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.160 not getting into the episode today, guys, I hope you 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.400 enjoy this. Twenty five minutes of accidentally unfiltered stories and 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.360 that's a wrap. This is one more. You know, I 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:16.880 have a friend, I'm not gonna name his name, but 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:19.240 I have a friend that's like a solid gamer. You know, 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.800 a gamer that I don't know if you guys aren't 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.480 into gaming. They wear their headphones, they play video games 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:27.800 in their lund room, but they connect, they're talking live it. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.440 Weireds me out. I once had to wear a virtual 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.000 reality gaming mask. I didn't have to, but like I 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.640 chose to, stating a guy who was wearing one and 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:40.319 I and I put it on. But I didn't realize 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.160 that you can do virtual reality porn, and so I 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.360 looked down. They had a dick. Did you do virtual 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.040 reality porn? How have you never told me this? Will 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.679 we have a dating relationship sex podcasts? He was, yeah, 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:54.520 it was a thing. We need to unpack this another day, 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:58.400 another episode. Continue with your story. This is this guy 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.679 that's a gamer, right, He's got his headphones on, he's 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:02.720 in his laund room. He's deep in this game and 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.800 he's talking to like ten other people around the world 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:08.040 because they're playing against each other, but they're all connected 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:12.040 by microphone. His girlfriend comes in and she's frisky af 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.760 so she's like, whoa, let's do this. He's like, boys, 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:18.520 I am out, throws his mic and things down, logs off, 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:22.160 and then they go to town having hardcore sex in 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.560 the lound room. Hardcore. He bought swings and wits and 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:29.680 belts and stuff. Loud hard sex. Did not turn his 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.120 microphone off. So the ten people around the world that 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.000 his friends that he talks to order every day just 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.560 all sat there listen having sex and they couldn't reach him. 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:41.760 They were like yelling in the headphones, like like he 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.440 could stop, and it's just they just went to town. 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.200 That's a lot of trauma right there. That's a suppressed 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.960 trauma that's gonna need to use the therapy. Thank god, 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:55.200 it wasn't video. It was just mike Like. That's that's something. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.000 If there's anything as as a plus you can take 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.360 away from this is that it wasn't recorded. It was 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:03.000 just sound and you can always mute that. Like, I mean, 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.280 they were volunteering to listen to that. They didn't have 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.560 to listen you would you did virtual reality porn sex. 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.520 I never did the sex. I just like wore it 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.320 and like we virtually did it. It's a whole point. You 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:17.280 have a penis. It's very strange. You're so every week 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.600 there's something else that's weird U And I'm like, how 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:21.520 have we gotten to this point of our relationship? And 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.920 I don't know this. I'm just a bundle of surprises 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.040 for you, Brittany, Like I put virtual reality on, but 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.680 I was like running through a daisy field. Well, that 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.320 just really shows the differences between you and me as 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.720 a person, doesn't it. I think that that right there 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.760 has just perfectly summed up our relationship. Drives it home, 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:47.200 doesn't it, Guys? Before we get into the full topic today, 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.720 today we're talking about narcissistic personality disorder. We're also talking 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:54.200 about just narcissism in general, and we're gonna unpack what 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:57.200 this means, what it is, how do identify it, and 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.040 also what you do if you find yourself in a 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:03.480 relationship with some who is narcissistic and what you know, 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.400 how do you deal if like you have a family 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:09.800 member or maybe a parent who's narcissistic. So we are 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.600 going to be talking about this today, but obviously before 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.040 we get into it, we know that this can be 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:17.040 a really triggering subject matter and a really triggering experience 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:21.200 for anybody who's actually survived a narcissistic relationship. We just 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.280 want to put that out there before we get started. Also, 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.080 you know, if you haven't been through a narcissistic relationship 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:28.440 at all, this is still going to be a great 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:31.760 episode that will help you identify any red flag so 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:33.760 that you know what to look for if you ever 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.560 find yourself dealing with someone either in the workplace who's 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.240 a narcissist. And I just think there's little bits that 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.800 we can all take from this episode. I'm really excited 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:44.120 about this and the reason why I'm excited about this episode, 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.080 which is a weird word to use, I know that, 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.440 but I'm excited about this episode because some of you 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:51.800 might know this if you've been following the podcast from 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.480 the very very beginning, But basically, the reason why Life 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.280 Uncut started was because Britta and I sat down for 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.200 breakfast this one day and we barely barely knew each other, 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.840 and we got chatting about why we did the show, 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:09.360 like how our ex relationships had kind of transpired. The 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.960 two of us got talking about these really toxic relationships 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.400 that we had both had. Britt has spoken very openly 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.560 about hers on episode three, which is the sociopath episode, 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:22.240 about how she dated someone for several years who had 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:25.360 a completely double life, and I spoke really openly with 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:29.760 Britt about my relationship with someone who had very severe 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:33.800 narcissistic tendencies. That was where life Uncut came from, because 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.080 we sat down and we started having these conversations, and 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.480 we knew that there would be other people out there 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:40.880 who may have been in the exact same situation as us, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.520 have experienced us the same things, and would get something 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.600 out of having these conversations on a more public platform. 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.240 I do feel like it is really common for women 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:54.560 to get together, and it seems to be the thing 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.360 that bonds women. It seems to be the things that 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.000 they trauma, that yeah, that they relate to. I mean, 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.160 if you guys, think about now, to yourself, anyone, any 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.960 girlfriend you've ever sat down with, you will often talk 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.920 about past relationships good and bad, but often you're bonding 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:12.119 over you are I don't want to use the word trauma, 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.760 but bad experiences, crazy things that have happened, funny things 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:18.480 that have happened. You always bond over past experiences. We 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.960 bonded over The Bachelor as a past experience, but that 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.119 wasn't what actually galvanized up. Yeah, that wasn't what cemented 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:27.480 this relationship. It was like, what the fuck we've both 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.639 been with these crazy people, Like the same thing happened 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.199 to me, and this is how I felt this is 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:35.919 And then we just got drawn into this this idea 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.240 of like, there've got to be more people that have 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:39.879 experienced this, and we want to talk about it and 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:41.800 we want to help them. And so that's where the 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:46.879 whole Life Uncut stemmed from. Today, Like Laura said, we 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:48.800 have put the trigger warning out. It's not gonna be 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:50.800 for everyone. If you do think that this could affect you, 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.600 for sure, tune now. We don't want we don't want 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:58.120 this to bring up any bad feelings or things from 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.280 the past that are going to affect you now. So 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.440 that's out little warning for you. But we do really 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.679 want to reiterate that we are not trained professionals, and 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.359 everything we're speaking about in this episode is just a 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.679 discussion between two people that have experienced it themselves. So 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.320 we're just two women that have been through this together. 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:20.040 We've had the experiences ourselves. We have spoken to therapists 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.800 about it, we've spoken to other people about it, We've 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:25.080 done our own research past and present, so at the 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.880 time that we're experiencing it and now particularly for this episode. Yeah, 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:30.520 and we did put it out on the Facebook group 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:32.880 as well about you know, if you guys had any 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:35.680 questions about dealing with people who are narcissists or dealing 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.560 with a narcissist in your life, and there was some 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.080 amazing questions that were put forward. I actually was so 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.000 blown away by how many people have been affected by this. 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:46.159 There are some questions that we're going to answer to 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:48.720 the best of our ability, the unqualified advice that you 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:51.320 all come here for. And there are also some questions 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.959 which I've kind of banked because we're going to get 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:57.879 a clinical psychologist on the podcast to really unpack different 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.080 types of personality disorders. But what we wanted to start 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:05.840 with with today and talking about narcissism, calling people a narcissist, 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.280 this seems to be like a very on trend and 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.919 fad driven thing at the moment where you know, you 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.880 go through a bad relationship, there is some toxicity there, 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:18.760 and the fallback word for labeling someone is to call 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:21.120 them a narcissist or to say that they have narcissistic 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:25.159 personality disorder. But the reality is only one percent of 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:28.600 the population These stats come from the Mayo Clinic online. 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:34.040 One percent of population potentially has narcissistic personality disorder. It's 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:37.679 an incredibly difficult mental illness to be able to actually 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:40.200 diagnose because the problem is is that many people who 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:44.560 suffer from narcissistic personality disorder will never seek treatment and 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:47.359