WEBVTT - 5 Signs That You're Dating Someone Emotionally Unavailable 💔

0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:04.440
<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:08.280
<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast. It's Flex and Firms Welcome

0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:09.879
<v Speaker 1>back to the potty such play to have you here?

0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:14.760
<v Speaker 1>Flex and Firms on Kita. So the other day a

0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:19.560
<v Speaker 1>man beat a mobile phone driving charge which you can

0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:23.279
<v Speaker 1>lose five demerit points, so don't play this Sydney driver

0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:26.360
<v Speaker 1>thirty five years old. Turns out he was actually trying

0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:28.960
<v Speaker 1>to eat a packet of dippets, which I don't know

0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:29.639
<v Speaker 1>which is worth.

0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Are you legally allowed to be one hand off the

0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:35.080
<v Speaker 2>wheel so you can.

0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.839
<v Speaker 1>Spreadable cheese? It dippets? Or was it the snack of

0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.280
<v Speaker 1>cocting reports different?

0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Was it a it's it's a nationwide confusion. Is it

0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:51.199
<v Speaker 2>cosy a bikini? I think it's that type of thing.

0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:54.959
<v Speaker 1>And this has got me thinking, flexi cheese. What an

0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:58.000
<v Speaker 1>underrated snack? Everyone, If you're listening and thinking, damn, this

0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:00.080
<v Speaker 1>is based white girl.

0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:04.360
<v Speaker 2>Millennials coming out cheese wine.

0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.600
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm not speaking about the cheese and wine era. Okay,

0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.399
<v Speaker 1>we're back in the proson moment. Okay, I'm talking about

0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:15.640
<v Speaker 1>a snack that is considered not cool. A bigger stringer,

0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:20.160
<v Speaker 1>for example, or a snack. My housemate is a Belle

0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:23.640
<v Speaker 1>is currently training to run a marathon. What does that mean?

0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:28.480
<v Speaker 1>She must edit her dietary requirements, needs more snacks. She

0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.959
<v Speaker 1>has founded a snack called Happy Cow. It is like

0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:37.200
<v Speaker 1>a sorry sorry, put some respects on Happy Cow's name.

0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Please flex Happy Cow. It's this like cardboard circle, right,

0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:44.720
<v Speaker 1>and you open up the cardbird circle and there's like

0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:48.680
<v Speaker 1>eight little snack cheeses in pizza portions. Right. Then you

0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:52.640
<v Speaker 1>undo the foil and inside is a three cheese mixture.

0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:57.240
<v Speaker 1>This cheese is soft. It's a mix of three cheese.

0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:00.760
<v Speaker 1>It's like a fondant, a fondu. I've been eating them

0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.200
<v Speaker 1>as a snack at three pm because I alternate between

0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:07.120
<v Speaker 1>the lint hazel up block. I get a big kilo

0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:09.520
<v Speaker 1>thing that I just chop off a row every are though,

0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:11.639
<v Speaker 1>but I thought it doesn't fill me up. It gives

0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:13.760
<v Speaker 1>me with a sugar high. I'm gonna pivot to the cheese.

0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.280
<v Speaker 1>Give it a go. Absolutely loving my Happy Cow eight

0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:19.240
<v Speaker 1>piece pizza based snack.

0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:21.839
<v Speaker 2>We'll heard you the first time, babe the Happy Cow

0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:23.399
<v Speaker 2>edging for that spino.

0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.680
<v Speaker 1>I would also is eat more cheese, guys. It's a

0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.880
<v Speaker 1>really good it's really good for calcium, and it's a

0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.400
<v Speaker 1>healthy feeling snack. It's good protein as well. Don't think

0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.280
<v Speaker 1>it's great for period cramps though they say that. But

0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:40.640
<v Speaker 1>who told you that the internet? Don't trust the Internet.

0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:44.120
<v Speaker 2>And if you're a mucasy babe like I can be sorry,

0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:48.839
<v Speaker 2>you're freaking me out. The throat mucus clearing throat thing

0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.880
<v Speaker 2>happens when your dairy consumption is high. Allegedly, I'm not

0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.480
<v Speaker 2>no wheb MD. I'm just a humble woman.

0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:59.640
<v Speaker 1>It's giving, not human encoded. Okay, you get some signs

0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:04.080
<v Speaker 1>up your How do we.

0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:08.320
<v Speaker 2>Actually tell if we are or someone else is emotionally unavailable?

0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.040
<v Speaker 2>We will tread lightly with this topic because we don't

0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:15.600
<v Speaker 2>want to armchair diagnose anyone. We do it, we will,

0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.440
<v Speaker 2>we will, but take that as your disclaimer. I don't

0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.640
<v Speaker 2>want to censor myself, but you should censor what you

0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:24.040
<v Speaker 2>choose to hear from what we will say. Moving forward,

0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.600
<v Speaker 2>Refinery twenty nine just dropped an article called how to

0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.960
<v Speaker 2>tell if You're chasing someone who's emotionally unavailable, which I

0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:34.519
<v Speaker 2>think most people should get around because we, I say

0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:38.680
<v Speaker 2>we as a society, we who date often confuse blatant

0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.320
<v Speaker 2>disinterest with an avoidant.

0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:45.640
<v Speaker 3>Attachment style with emotional unavailability, don't get it to same,

0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:49.400
<v Speaker 3>and they are different things and we should know how

0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:55.040
<v Speaker 3>to discern between them. The article references Lily not me

0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.880
<v Speaker 3>twenty three, I'm twenty nine, you're twenty five, babe, okay

0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.200
<v Speaker 3>status sexual relationship with someone which she hoped would turn

0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.960
<v Speaker 3>more serious and romantic over time, but just ended up

0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.200
<v Speaker 3>constantly disappointing her A tale as old as time, She said,

0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Between the constant pendulum swing, did I write this pendulum swing?

0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:14.440
<v Speaker 1>That's that's a flex code of phrase.

0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Between the constant pendulum swing, between him showing me intense

0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.919
<v Speaker 2>affection and then completely ignoring me, and a complete inability

0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.359
<v Speaker 2>to tell what he was thinking at any given time,

0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:28.280
<v Speaker 2>it started to become pretty clear he wasn't interested or

0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:33.799
<v Speaker 2>was just incapable of committing so. Therapist Maria Sosa, who's

0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:37.960
<v Speaker 2>holistically Grace on Instagram, explains that we often mistake signs

0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:43.080
<v Speaker 2>of emotional unavailability for excitement and chemistry and mystery, right like,

0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:46.920
<v Speaker 2>are they hard to get a hold of because they're

0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:51.240
<v Speaker 2>just busy people? Or are they not available for you?

0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:57.880
<v Speaker 2>I will say it's a futile task of fool's errand

0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:03.000
<v Speaker 2>to try and discern or to try and tell what

0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:05.800
<v Speaker 2>someone is thinking. You will never be right because humans

0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.560
<v Speaker 2>are contradictory and fickle at the best of times. So

0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.000
<v Speaker 2>the article then goes into how to tell if someone

0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:14.240
<v Speaker 2>is emotionally unavailable based on how you respond to them,

0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:17.680
<v Speaker 2>which I think is healthy and helpful. So one, you

0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.640
<v Speaker 2>get really excited at the slightest bit of affection because

0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.640
<v Speaker 2>they don't usually show you any So they're holding a hand,

0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.479
<v Speaker 2>You're freaking out. You get unusually excited when they reach

0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:27.080
<v Speaker 2>out and talk to you because they rarely do.

0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:28.040
<v Speaker 1>You drop all of.

0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.320
<v Speaker 2>Your plans to hang out with them when they finally

0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:32.200
<v Speaker 2>suggest it, or they aren't too busy for you.

0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:32.720
<v Speaker 1>Not good.

0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.000
<v Speaker 2>You feel like you're constantly trying to figure them out

0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:38.239
<v Speaker 2>or navigate their changing moods. You're constantly asking your friends

0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.000
<v Speaker 2>and family to help decipher their behavior or their intentions.

0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:45.360
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's a great framework. Should we call

0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:48.039
<v Speaker 2>someone emotionally unavailable because of that? They could just not

0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:51.560
<v Speaker 2>like you. Yeah, let's be careful not to brand people things.

0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Let's just assess how we feel in response to them.

0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.159
<v Speaker 2>What I want to discuss those is thought I was

0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:58.919
<v Speaker 2>having when reading this article by Refinery twenty nine. The

0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:00.360
<v Speaker 2>article in case you want to go check it out

0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.400
<v Speaker 2>for yourself. It's called how to tell if You're chasing

0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.919
<v Speaker 2>someone Who's emotionally unavailable. It's an easy read three to

0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:08.400
<v Speaker 2>five minutes you have it. It made me think, are

0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.720
<v Speaker 2>people becoming more emotionally unavailable the longer they choose to date? Now?

0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.200
<v Speaker 2>What is for certain? When you are dating there is

0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:17.120
<v Speaker 2>bound to be disappointment. Not everyone that you have a

0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:21.760
<v Speaker 2>crush on eventuates. Not to say that that's a bad

0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:24.240
<v Speaker 2>thing or a good thing. But I don't know if

0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:27.279
<v Speaker 2>we as a people have developed enough resilience and enough

0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:30.200
<v Speaker 2>emotional intelligence to accept that for what it is and

0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.559
<v Speaker 2>move on. I imagine for a lot of people, after

0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:38.160
<v Speaker 2>any failed dating interaction, you build another brick, another wall,

0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:42.839
<v Speaker 2>another barrier that makes you less able to participate in

0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:46.880
<v Speaker 2>dating freely or with a sense of openness, maybe even

0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.200
<v Speaker 2>bit of a naivity. I feel it's really easy to

0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:50.520
<v Speaker 2>be like, I know what's happening next, I know what's

0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.160
<v Speaker 2>going to happen, I know how this ends, when really

0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:53.200
<v Speaker 2>you don't.

0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:54.120
<v Speaker 1>You don't.

0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:58.440
<v Speaker 2>But with that being said, do you agree with my analysis?

0:06:58.520 --> 0:06:59.679
<v Speaker 2>Or the question I've post.

0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think you can go either way. You can

0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:05.720
<v Speaker 1>go either two extreme ways. You can become totally walls down,

0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.640
<v Speaker 1>because I don't if you're not desper but like you

0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:11.840
<v Speaker 1>know what you want so badly that you're more open

0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:14.720
<v Speaker 1>to different people that you originally wouldn't be, So I

0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.680
<v Speaker 1>think the walls are down. But also, yeah, like you said,

0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I think it's only a human to want to protect

0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:22.640
<v Speaker 1>yourself when you've been hurt time and time again.

0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:24.680
<v Speaker 2>I've mentioned before that I don't like to tell people

0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:27.600
<v Speaker 2>who they are, but I do like to call out

0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:29.160
<v Speaker 2>behavior if it's requested of me.

0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:30.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah.

0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:35.160
<v Speaker 2>And so a friend was basically establishing some parameters of

0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.360
<v Speaker 2>what had happened in a dating circumstance, and I said,

0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:41.800
<v Speaker 2>sounds like you're emotionally unavailable, because like what you're doing

0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.840
<v Speaker 2>is very aligned with the people you are dating, and

0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:49.760
<v Speaker 2>you would brand their behavior as being emotionally unavailable, to

0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:51.320
<v Speaker 2>which she said, well, what even is that?

0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:51.640
<v Speaker 4>Then?

0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.560
<v Speaker 2>What is emotional? Aren't we aren't we all emotionally unavailable?

0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:59.840
<v Speaker 2>Which I said, potentially, let's look up some key characteristics

0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.040
<v Speaker 2>in case you don't want to Google, because I live

0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:03.840
<v Speaker 2>on Google. I don't mind being here a little bit

0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:08.560
<v Speaker 2>longer every day, cheapest creepers emotional. Here's a hack on

0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:13.880
<v Speaker 2>how to google emotional emotionally unavailable characteristics.

0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I think we know what they are. I don't think

0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:23.720
<v Speaker 1>emotionally unavailable is a thing that exists. Don't make me say,

0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:24.040
<v Speaker 1>do you.

0:08:24.040 --> 0:08:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Think it's more like a response to a situation as

0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.000
<v Speaker 2>opposed to something you can identify as we're not therapists,

0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.760
<v Speaker 2>but you know, to the wrong person, I might come

0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:36.160
<v Speaker 2>across as emotionally unavailable, I just don't like you. Yeah,

0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:40.920
<v Speaker 2>This idea of avoiding commitment or labels things staying really surface,

0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:45.000
<v Speaker 2>keeping you at arm's length, struggling to empathize, being really

0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.000
<v Speaker 2>unclear about what you want or what you're able to give,

0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:53.400
<v Speaker 2>getting defensive, being inconsistent, not knowing how much to trust

0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:55.560
<v Speaker 2>or if you can trust. And also I think the

0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.280
<v Speaker 2>big kicker is not being able to provide what you expect.

0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:03.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, like, in order to maintain a certain level

0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:06.280
<v Speaker 2>of availability, you need to be available, not come with.

0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.199
<v Speaker 1>The games and the walls and be like, I.

0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:09.719
<v Speaker 2>Don't know why they're not responding.

0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.960
<v Speaker 1>I do, yeah, and games forget games, guys. But also

0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:15.680
<v Speaker 1>sometimes you need to have some games. Oh, I have

0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:16.840
<v Speaker 1>a bit of fun. Let's be real.

0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.400
<v Speaker 2>You're listening to flex and Frooms on Kaita and A

0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Winter has a message for you.

0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:31.360
<v Speaker 4>What is it so interesting to me how people dress

0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.400
<v Speaker 4>when they come in for interviews And sometimes you feel

0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.160
<v Speaker 4>they're wearing clothes that they just bought that morning or

0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.120
<v Speaker 4>maybe the night before, and not something that in any

0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.640
<v Speaker 4>way suits their personality and who they are. And I

0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.600
<v Speaker 4>think what everybody should remember, whether they're interviewing at Vogue

0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:49.600
<v Speaker 4>or indeed anywhere, that we're not hiring your wardrobe. Always

0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:52.480
<v Speaker 4>remember a young man who came in in a dress

0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:54.680
<v Speaker 4>and a handbag and I gave him the job on

0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:58.240
<v Speaker 4>the spot. You have to dress for yourself, and it's

0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.680
<v Speaker 4>the same for any job that you might be going for.

0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:03.040
<v Speaker 4>I think it doesn't do yourself a service.

0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh Fumy is not happy. Form is not happy. Spaen

0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:13.480
<v Speaker 1>me the details, Anna, expectfully, you were in the devil

0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.800
<v Speaker 1>wes Praduct. Whether or not you co sign that is

0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.640
<v Speaker 1>not for me to know. But the whole thing is

0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:23.080
<v Speaker 1>about her reinventing herself. Paul, what's her name? And Hathaway

0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:28.360
<v Speaker 1>and Hathaway Okay, that's traumatic to watch. Nah, all I'll

0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:32.960
<v Speaker 1>say is Anna Wintour. You've got me fossil, Yeah, FRUMI

0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:36.280
<v Speaker 1>looks pissed off. I don't very often this emotion is

0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:38.240
<v Speaker 1>coming from. I think it's the idea that like that

0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.360
<v Speaker 1>you need to change for somewhere like folk. Yeah, they

0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.680
<v Speaker 1>create fashion. I feel like, oh yeah, it's like going

0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:45.640
<v Speaker 1>to fashion Week in Australia. You think, oh my god,

0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.400
<v Speaker 1>I've got to wear something different. It is environment that

0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.600
<v Speaker 1>they've created, so telling people to come as they are.

0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.000
<v Speaker 1>We wearing a blue sweater is somehow not fashionable. Never

0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:57.440
<v Speaker 1>forget the frumby sweater like spare me. It's confusing.

0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.800
<v Speaker 2>We've talked a lot about how I feel like people

0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:03.000
<v Speaker 2>are in denial about how much their appearance is a

0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:06.079
<v Speaker 2>deal breaker and how much you know, aside from all

0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:10.960
<v Speaker 2>of the other things your gender, your race, your socioeconomic status,

0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:15.760
<v Speaker 2>A lot of that can be perceptively or perceptually bypassed

0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:20.560
<v Speaker 2>by looking a certain way. Right. Somehow people forget racism exists.

0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:24.360
<v Speaker 2>If you're a rich billionaire and black, surely it mustn't right.

0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:29.319
<v Speaker 2>Kanye talks about it constantly, But in this instance, Anna,

0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:35.400
<v Speaker 2>come on, let's not feed people. These comers, you are lies.

0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.880
<v Speaker 2>It's never worked before, it's not gonna work today, okay,

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:41.600
<v Speaker 2>And it's not something that people have permissioned to do.

0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:45.960
<v Speaker 2>Anna herself dresses in a uniform. Yeah, has maintained a

0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 2>very specific way of being. I'm sure you don't get

0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.960
<v Speaker 2>up like that with a fresh bob Manolo Blanix and

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:55.200
<v Speaker 2>a shift dress every day. You've chosen a very specific aesthetic.

0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.480
<v Speaker 1>It's giving Lord, fuck wad not just.

0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:01.760
<v Speaker 2>Kidding, no no, no, no no no. But in this instance,

0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I do agree, however, with the idea that you can

0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:09.680
<v Speaker 2>tell and people are putting on an aesthetic right now.

0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.720
<v Speaker 2>It'd be surprising. I get a lot of hate on

0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:17.360
<v Speaker 2>the internet right but the way people can call me

0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:21.160
<v Speaker 2>out for outfit repeating, I'm so surprised by babes, I'm

0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 2>aware this fit again and again and again and again

0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:24.599
<v Speaker 2>people actually do that.

0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh you love that jacket? Flex?

0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh you love that? Yeah, babe, I bought it. It

0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:32.200
<v Speaker 2>looks what I'm gonna keep wearing it. I'mlike, miss, I'm

0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.600
<v Speaker 2>going to Europe in six weeks. Help me get a

0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:35.640
<v Speaker 2>new wardrobe.

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:40.040
<v Speaker 1>Please to me. Just think guys, oh never free me

0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:45.079
<v Speaker 1>flex and Frims on Keida. It's flex and frims on

0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:48.760
<v Speaker 1>kit FLEXI. I've been reading a book called Stolen Focus.

0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.760
<v Speaker 1>It was given to us by a manager, and I

0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.320
<v Speaker 1>do have a tendency to play on my phone in meetings,

0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.080
<v Speaker 1>so it was a targeted at the time. However, I'm

0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:00.800
<v Speaker 1>reading the book and I'm quite enjoying it. It's by

0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:09.360
<v Speaker 1>a man called Johann Hari. He is a British British,

0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.240
<v Speaker 1>a British Swiss writer. And you know what, I was

0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.040
<v Speaker 1>meant to bring the book in to read a passage today.

0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:18.360
<v Speaker 1>My focus was stolen because I had been making tariarchy

0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.640
<v Speaker 1>be if I had a lot of taboy to bring in. Okay, Anyway,

0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I was reading a passage. It really gripped me. The

0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:27.600
<v Speaker 1>other day he spoke about a concept called the message

0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.760
<v Speaker 1>is the medium. This was coined by a philosopher society

0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:34.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know who in the nineteen sixties, right, and

0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.720
<v Speaker 1>it told us about how the way that you receive

0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:38.880
<v Speaker 1>a message is the message in and of itself. So

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:42.720
<v Speaker 1>take for example, television. Yes, you receive things on the

0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:46.719
<v Speaker 1>television and you see it in the television mode, right, yep.

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:51.200
<v Speaker 1>This also applies to writing. If you read something on

0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.559
<v Speaker 1>the internet, it's a very different experience to reading something

0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.320
<v Speaker 1>in a book, and the way you read it changes.

0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.480
<v Speaker 1>So when you read on the internet, you skim. When

0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 1>you read in a book where you have to be

0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:03.960
<v Speaker 1>plugged in, you skim read books too. Yeah, but that's

0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:05.920
<v Speaker 1>because you've spent too much time reading the internet and

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:09.880
<v Speaker 1>I read first. Okay, you don't know me, mates, I'm

0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:10.320
<v Speaker 1>a protient.

0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:13.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm no brit To be fair, I was a fast

0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:14.960
<v Speaker 2>reader turned skim reader.

0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:18.680
<v Speaker 1>You're not retaining any information at this point.

0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Says you from googles. How to pronounce Yohann hurry, Yohann hurry,

0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Yohan hurry comes on air, Yohan har.

0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:38.240
<v Speaker 1>Any information I told you I never remember? Saying I

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:41.680
<v Speaker 1>never remember them? It makes me look bad anyway. The

0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:45.120
<v Speaker 1>point of this is, this is why he has beef.

0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Dare I say with social media? He's not he's not

0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.640
<v Speaker 1>a massive fan of social media, and he discusses how

0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:54.000
<v Speaker 1>things like Instagram and TikTok.

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.880
<v Speaker 3>She said, I'm not retaining any information.

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 2>Not only are you reading the book called Focus, you've

0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 2>forgotten to bring the book because your focus was stolen

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.320
<v Speaker 2>and not even trying to conjure up any information.

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:06.560
<v Speaker 4>About the book.

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:08.560
<v Speaker 1>He's got beef with the internet.

0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:09.600
<v Speaker 2>I can't talk about it.

0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:11.760
<v Speaker 3>Listen.

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 1>He's not going to watch this because he's not on Instagram.

0:15:14.920 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 1>But I don't read the book. I'm enjoying it. Just

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 1>an anything the book.

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 2>Please.

0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.840
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.720
<v Speaker 1>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.