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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers Now.

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Speaker 2: Good miss Doctor Justin Colson, the author of six books

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Speaker 2: about raising happy families and dad to six happy daughters.

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Speaker 2: I think most of the time, usually Kylie, my wife

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Speaker 2: mum to those same girls. How good are the Olympic Games?

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Speaker 2: Are you loving the Olympics?

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Speaker 3: Well, let's be honest. Everybody who knows me knows that

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Speaker 3: sport's not high on my list. So I'm really loving

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Speaker 3: the quiet that comes over the house when you go

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Speaker 3: downstairs with the girls to watch a little bit of it.

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Speaker 2: Cannot drag you down, even to watch the swimming, Like

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Speaker 2: holy smokes, didn't come near me. When the Olympic road

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Speaker 2: race was on for the cycling, let me alone for

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Speaker 2: six hours.

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Speaker 4: I get the violins out for you, honey.

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Speaker 2: It was actually kind of nice to watch six hours

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Speaker 2: of cycling without anyone interrupting me.

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Speaker 5: Where were we? Oh, so Olympics. Isn't it Well?

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, isn't it great? But you're not

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Speaker 2: seeing it. Records are tumbling, people are getting personal bests.

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Speaker 2: I love it, and we've had one ourselves recently.

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Speaker 4: This is pretty exciting even for me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, I don't remember

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Speaker 2: the exact date, but the Happy Families podcast has just

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Speaker 2: hit one million download for the year for the year,

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Speaker 2: a million downloads this year and counting.

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Speaker 4: And we just have you ever had a million downloads before?

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Speaker 5: I've never had a million anything before. Wow, it's really

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Speaker 5: exciting and I think, how did you do that?

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Speaker 2: I think it probably has a bit to do with you,

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Speaker 2: missus Happy Families.

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Speaker 5: Goodness me.

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Speaker 2: So, we're so grateful to you for listening to the

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Speaker 2: Happy Families Podcast, for making us part of your life,

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Speaker 2: part of your family. We've had some breathtaking, the positive,

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Speaker 2: kind generous feedback as well. We've been seeking feedback so

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Speaker 2: that we can make the podcast better, and every now

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Speaker 2: and again somebody gets cranky at it's because we share

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Speaker 2: feedback that we get. People leave reviews, and we've been

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Speaker 2: sharing the reviews. We're not skiding. We're just so grateful,

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Speaker 2: and so for the person who wants to complain about

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Speaker 2: us sharing reviews, we're not trying to say that we're awesome.

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Speaker 2: We're just trying to say how great we are. And

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Speaker 2: I want to share this one, this one came through

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Speaker 2: from Sarah and she just said, congratulations on the one

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Speaker 2: million downloads. Thank you for creating this podcast. It's a

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Speaker 2: winner in my years. I love hearing it all from

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Speaker 2: Justin blowing leaves off the roof. That was the day

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Speaker 2: when I slid off the roof for two stories and

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Speaker 2: landed without any injury to Kylie.

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Speaker 5: Reversing into a parked car. And let's not talk about Benson. Seriously,

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Speaker 5: you two are an absolute joid to listen to.

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Speaker 2: I can't share any wins about my little ones because

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Speaker 2: I don't have any little ones yet, not yet anyway,

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Speaker 2: So Sarah doesn't even have kids and she likes the podcast, which, wow,

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Speaker 2: I've been fantastic. Thanks for listening, Sarah, who knew I

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Speaker 2: thought we were literally only talking.

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Speaker 5: To parents, But thank you.

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Speaker 2: But then Sarah says this in saying that I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure why I originally downloaded your podcast, but what I

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Speaker 2: do know is that when I'm a mum, I hope

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Speaker 2: I can be half the mother that Kylie is.

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Speaker 5: Wow, what a mum you are.

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Speaker 2: Having your daughters leave you for mum's eyes only notes

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Speaker 2: and having open discussions where no topics are off limit

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Speaker 2: is just so amazing. The way your girls can articulate

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Speaker 2: their feelings is beautiful. When your youngest can describe that

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Speaker 2: she's not feeling spoilt, grateful is something so special. You're inspiration, Kylie,

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Speaker 2: and this is why I continue to listen to the

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Speaker 2: Happy Families podcast and thank you. Note I didn't get

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Speaker 2: a mention there, so Sarah doesn't have kids, but she's

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Speaker 2: clearly taking those because she is there.

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Speaker 3: I'm only just remembering some of those things that she shared.

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Speaker 2: We wanted to share some of the highlights, some of

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Speaker 2: the best bits from our conversations and from our podcasts

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Speaker 2: throughout this year that have led to one million downloads.

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Speaker 2: And Kylie, why don't you intro one of our first

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Speaker 2: moments that really captured people and gave us a lot

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Speaker 2: of feedback.

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Speaker 3: When we're talking about highlights, we can't go past our

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Speaker 3: episode one ninety four, Kylie quits. This created quite astir

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Speaker 3: I was so grateful for how many people reached out

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Speaker 3: to me because I were really feeling the heart of it.

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Speaker 3: And what I loved was just the opportunity people had

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Speaker 3: to rethink their own situations and work out what was

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Speaker 3: most important, you know, tapping in with those.

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Speaker 5: Values here's what happened.

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Speaker 3: I really started to unravel I as I thought about,

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Speaker 3: you know, this wonderful opportunity that was placed before me,

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Speaker 3: and in the realization that logistically I just couldn't make

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Speaker 3: it work. I guess I kind of went into that

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Speaker 3: big black hole that I think mums all around the

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Speaker 3: world go through at some point, is you know, when

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Speaker 3: is it going to be my turn? Why do I

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Speaker 3: have to always give up the things that I want?

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Speaker 3: And I'm going to get emotional because it's a really,

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Speaker 3: really difficult space to find yourself in when you recognize

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Speaker 3: that you've given so much for so long, and you

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Speaker 3: want something and you want it bad, and then you

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Speaker 3: realize that it's actually just not going to work.

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Speaker 2: Couples need to be able to come together on these topics,

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Speaker 2: and for us, we decided that, well, you decided that

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Speaker 2: you're going to wait another couple of years.

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Speaker 3: It took me a while to get to that realization.

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Speaker 3: But as I kind of wrestled with all of those

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Speaker 3: feelings of I guess, sacrifice and feeling hard done by

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Speaker 3: and not from anything you had said. I mean, you

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Speaker 3: have been amazing and amazing support as I've kind of

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Speaker 3: worked through it, and you were happy for us to

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Speaker 3: organize to have a nanny come along to make this

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Speaker 3: a realization.

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Speaker 2: Well, I said, I was happy about it, but now

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Speaker 2: that we're talking about it and the decision has made,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't that thrilled about it.

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Speaker 5: But I would have to support you.

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Speaker 4: You would have and I know that.

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Speaker 3: But then I started to kind of, I guess, take

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Speaker 3: it through my values filter and start to really think

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Speaker 3: about what are the things that mean the most to me,

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Speaker 3: what are my priorities, and what are the things that

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Speaker 3: I stand for. And as I started to think about

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Speaker 3: those things and really kind of live into those values,

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Speaker 3: I realized that again privileged decision that I'm able to make,

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Speaker 3: this was a want and not a need. And right

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Speaker 3: now my family needs.

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Speaker 5: Me, and I need you and you need me. Actually boo.

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Speaker 3: And that was still hard even coming to that realization

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Speaker 3: for myself. That was hard to sit with for a

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Speaker 3: few days. What I found is that the longer I

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Speaker 3: sat there this suffocating feeling that I had been experiencing

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Speaker 3: as I was trying to work out how I could

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Speaker 3: do it all, you know, how I could be the

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Speaker 3: mum that I want to be and the wife that

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Speaker 3: I want to be and be where I need to be,

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Speaker 3: but do something I want to do. I couldn't physically

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Speaker 3: do it all, and so I had to make a

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Speaker 3: decision about what was most important to me, and at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, my want it's at the

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Speaker 3: bottom of the list.

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Speaker 2: What I love about that one as well, with the

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Speaker 2: feedback we've got, is that so many people saw the

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Speaker 2: title of the podcast, Kylie Quits, and they thought that

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Speaker 2: you were quitting the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Well it would have been Kylie's Got sacked, but anyway.

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Speaker 5: No, no, no, Based on the feedback, You're staying.

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Speaker 2: One of our more popular episodes as well, earlier in

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Speaker 2: the year was when we interviewed Jessica Rowe.

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Speaker 5: What a delight, Oh she's a screen and what a

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Speaker 5: crap house was?

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Speaker 6: We do what works for us, and I have embraced

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Speaker 6: being a crap housewife.

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Speaker 7: Finley.

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Speaker 6: I have piles of washing, I've got dirty dishes in

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Speaker 6: the sink. I'm not a great cook. I used to

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Speaker 6: put far too much pressure on myself to think I

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Speaker 6: had to have all of that together, and the only

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Speaker 6: person I was letting down was myself. I'd get myself

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Speaker 6: in such a ladder. And so now I go, you

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Speaker 6: know what, I'm enough. It doesn't matter that I'm not

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Speaker 6: good at this stuff, because I can be good at

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Speaker 6: other things. But I think the key is you do

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Speaker 6: what works for you and your family.

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Speaker 5: I just love it.

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Speaker 3: This week, it seems that you have made national headlines

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Speaker 3: for exactly that we Well, actually.

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Speaker 5: It wasn't just making national headlines. Let's be clear here.

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Speaker 5: This was This is Jess's.

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Speaker 2: Daughter's lunchbox from twenty twenty that made national headlines.

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Speaker 3: Can you tell us all why was your daughter's lunchbox

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Speaker 3: making national headlines this week?

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Speaker 6: Well, first of all, how hilarious that the lunchbox made

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Speaker 6: fashional headlines? Essentially what happened? We're getting ready for back

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Speaker 6: to school. I mean I'm doing star jumps this morning

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Speaker 6: because both my girls are back at school now. But

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Speaker 6: we were getting ready just the other day and I thought, okay,

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Speaker 6: time to get the school bag ready, get the lunchboxes ready.

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Speaker 6: Low and behold, in my youngest daughter's lunchbox was the

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Speaker 6: lunch that we hadn't unpacked from last December. And you

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Speaker 6: think we would have smelled it, but no, because it

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Speaker 6: was in this cupboard under the stairs with a whole

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Speaker 6: lot of other junk, so that was obviously sealing the

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Speaker 6: smell in there. But I unzipped it, and oh my goodness,

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Speaker 6: the smell. The stench in one tuple wear was just

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Speaker 6: this green liquid and I'm not sure what it was.

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Speaker 6: I think potentially it might have been some cucumbers that liquefied.

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Speaker 6: And then in the other container, which is my daughter's

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Speaker 6: favorite because it has seals on the front, I undid

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Speaker 6: it and there were these I think they might have

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Speaker 6: been might have been once grapes, and they were black

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Speaker 6: and furry and just foul. So I just had to

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Speaker 6: laugh because I just thought, I cannot believe this, and

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Speaker 6: I posted it to my Instagram, and lo and behold.

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Speaker 6: What I loved is that hundreds of other mums and

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Speaker 6: dads responded with their foul lunch box stories, with similar

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Speaker 6: things happening to them, feeling reassured that, oh my goodness,

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Speaker 6: were not the only ones. Others sharing stories about how

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Speaker 6: they'd had cheese and bacon rolls in their kids lunchboxes

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Speaker 6: and they opened them and suddenly they thought they were

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Speaker 6: tennis falling. We've all been there. I mean, I'm sure

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Speaker 6: for you guys too, perhaps when you were younger, like

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Speaker 6: I remember putting my hand in my school bag when

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Speaker 6: I was probably about Giselle's age, which is eleven, and

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Speaker 6: there was this powdery substance in the bottom and it

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Speaker 6: was an orange. It was a whole orange that basically

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Speaker 6: over the time had just powdered into this foul thing.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I do definitely remember the orange d.

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Speaker 6: All kind of booh. And I think the thing is

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Speaker 6: what I love about instant because we hear negative things

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Speaker 6: about social media, but what I love was hearing all

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Speaker 6: these other people's stories. We can laugh at ourselves, we

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Speaker 6: can think we are doing our best, and if you

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Speaker 6: have that stenchy lunch box every now and then.

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Speaker 2: That's okay. So Jess is just an absolute delight. We're

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Speaker 2: going to completely change pace here though. One of the

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Speaker 2: funniest things that we've talked about all year long, and

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Speaker 2: I think this is really why we've got a million downloads.

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Speaker 5: What's the time when you went running with a wedgie?

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Speaker 4: I learned very quickly why you don't wear lycra unlikra.

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Speaker 2: Our health journey continued on Saturday when the gym put

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Speaker 2: on a kind of a family fun run. Yeah sure,

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Speaker 2: down to the park the kids didn't want to get

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Speaker 2: up because it was cold, So you and I headed

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Speaker 2: down to the park so that we could run. What

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Speaker 2: was it like, a six k run through the Daisy

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Speaker 2: Hill State Forest in the southern suburbs of Brisbane.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is not a flat run. This was

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Speaker 3: up and down hills on mountain bike terrain. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like there's there're fire trails and walking tracks and

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Speaker 2: that sort of thing.

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Speaker 4: And I haven't done a run for a very very

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Speaker 4: long time.

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Speaker 3: But to complicate things, they decided to theme it, and

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Speaker 3: so they asked us to come dressed in eighties style,

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Speaker 3: to go eighties.

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Speaker 2: We don't have anything eighties, but you put on a

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Speaker 2: pair of your my swimmers where you put your swimmers

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Speaker 2: on over the top, and then you had your leggings

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Speaker 2: on and they were they like Dalmatians, right light with

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Speaker 2: black spots.

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Speaker 3: And then I didn't have any legwarmers, so I just

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Speaker 3: used some big bulky boot socks right to kind of

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Speaker 3: bunch up around my ankles.

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Speaker 5: And it actually did look kind of eighties.

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Speaker 4: Well it kind of did.

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Speaker 5: You had the head band on.

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Speaker 3: But you know, I learned a really really valuable lesson

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Speaker 3: and it seems like everybody else knew this lesson except me.

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Speaker 4: You don't wear lycra on licra.

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Speaker 5: I wear likra when I ride my bike all the time.

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Speaker 4: No, you just don't.

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Speaker 5: What do you mean?

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Speaker 3: I ended up with a front weggie and a backwedgie

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Speaker 3: and it was not pretty. And the whole time I

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Speaker 3: was running, all I could think about was I don't

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Speaker 3: know what's worse watching someone run with the weggie that's

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Speaker 3: not supposed to be there or watching someone pick out

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Speaker 3: the weggie that shouldn't be there.

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Speaker 5: It was horrible.

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Speaker 2: So I, oh, gosh, that's I thought that you were

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Speaker 2: sore because of the running, but you saw from the wedgies.

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Speaker 4: I think we're just giving them way too much information.

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Speaker 4: I'm so embarrassed.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe we even published that.

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Speaker 4: Craig. That's all on you.

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Speaker 2: So Craig is our executive producer, and he's the one

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Speaker 2: that decides what stays in the podcast or what doesn't.

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Speaker 2: You said it, Kylie, You you shared the story, such

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Speaker 2: a good story. After the break, we're going to talk

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Speaker 2: about one of the funnest interviews that we did all

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Speaker 2: year with Cusi O'Brien, the author of a book about

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Speaker 2: parenting that was just delight fully fun.

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Speaker 5: And I think we're going to talk.

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Speaker 2: About perhaps the biggest disaster that our family has experienced

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Speaker 2: this year. That's coming up as we revisit the highlights

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Speaker 2: of one million downloads and counting this year so far.

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Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 3: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because

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Speaker 3: a happy family doesn't just happen.

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Speaker 5: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 3: poor parent, and today we are celebrating one million downloads.

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Speaker 3: For an amateur like me, I am reveling in the

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Speaker 3: excitement of this.

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Speaker 2: I noticed when you said that this is the podcast

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Speaker 2: for the time poor parent, you didn't add who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers now? Because no answers, no answer today, just

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Speaker 2: embarrassing moments for us really, and meaningful ones as well. Hey,

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Speaker 2: a great conversation that we had with Susi O'Brien, author

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Speaker 2: of a book about parenting. Let's find out what she

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Speaker 2: had to say.

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Speaker 7: Parents today say they find it hard to find time

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Speaker 7: to do everything half the time, don't even have time

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Speaker 7: to have a bubble bath once a week, and so

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Speaker 7: these days often in families. We've got mum and dad

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Speaker 7: both working full time or working a lot. We put

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Speaker 7: our hands up to be very hands on it the

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Speaker 7: kinder and the school and the footy club. We think

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Speaker 7: we have to do everything asked of us, and we

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Speaker 7: find that when the intensification of parenting means that we

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Speaker 7: are expected to be managing their friendships very hands on.

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Speaker 7: At the school, we're taking them to activities and playdates

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Speaker 7: all weekend. Like, parenting has never been more intense, and

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Speaker 7: parents are kind of cracking up. We don't have time

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Speaker 7: to do it all. And so what we're doing is

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Speaker 7: we're certainly the first thing that goes into our social lives,

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Speaker 7: and it's certainly anything that doesn't do with the family socializing.

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Speaker 7: So mum's book club, mum's bubble bath, mum's wine with

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Speaker 7: the friends. And people are also doing less work, you know,

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Speaker 7: sometimes we're cutting back on work hours so that we

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Speaker 7: can be there for the kids. Doing less parenting hadn't

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Speaker 7: occurred to anyone, like cutting out some of that hands on, intensive,

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Speaker 7: time consuming parenting that isn't really making any of us happy,

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Speaker 7: but which we think we have to do to be

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Speaker 7: a good parent these days.

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Speaker 3: I'm really curious, Susie, what were your parents like growing

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Speaker 3: up out.

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Speaker 7: Of the seventies? Soir Kylie, So oh god. Actually, my

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Speaker 7: mother was listening in on one interview we did, and

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Speaker 7: she was texting me the whole time with tales of

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Speaker 7: her lax parenting. Like was saying that she had to

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Speaker 7: organize her own eighth birthday because mum and dad had

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Speaker 7: been out the night before and just showed no signs

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Speaker 7: of getting out of bed. So she cleaned the house,

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Speaker 7: she made the party food or you know, put it

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Speaker 7: out on the table, and made her own birthday cake

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Speaker 7: aged eight. And look, it wasn't like that. Most of

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Speaker 7: the time.

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Speaker 5: They were very very dutiful, very good parents.

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Speaker 7: But the thought of them leaving work early to take

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Speaker 7: my sister to activities, the thought of them arranging their

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Speaker 7: weekends around what we wanted to do instead of stuff

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Speaker 7: that they wanted to do around the house, mostly kind

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Speaker 7: of cementing things into the ground. You know, what parents

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Speaker 7: did back in the seventies wouldn't have ever occurred to them,

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Speaker 7: Like they ran their own lives and we fitted in

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Speaker 7: with them.

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Speaker 3: What a great conversation that was with Susie. But I

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Speaker 3: think if you're talking about meaningful things. One of the

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Speaker 3: most meaningful experiences and most memorable would have to be

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Speaker 3: our Mother's Day episode.

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Speaker 5: What makes you proud of mum?

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Speaker 1: Helping to build her six daughters into who they are,

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Speaker 1: and obviously just continuing to be a mum like it

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Speaker 1: doesn't stop.

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Speaker 3: She's not afraid of being herself. She's really happy to

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Speaker 3: be herself.

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Speaker 5: She's not afraid to express how she's feeling.

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Speaker 3: Reliable, I can always come to her whenever I'm feeling

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Speaker 3: down or having problems. I don't ever have to worry

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Speaker 3: about her judging me, and she'll just always be patient

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Speaker 3: and kind.

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Speaker 1: Because she believes me. She stands up for us, and

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Speaker 1: no matter what, she never gives up.

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Speaker 3: I'm the first one to admit my childhood wasn't all roses.

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Speaker 3: At times, my mum was a complete and utter failure.

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Speaker 3: She got it wrong so many times I've lost count.

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Speaker 3: There were times I downright hated her and I couldn't

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Speaker 3: wait to grow up and walk out that door, never

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Speaker 3: to return again. I mean, clearly I knew better than her,

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Speaker 3: and I was definitely not going to make the same

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Speaker 3: misake she did, or so I thought. Time has a

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Speaker 3: way of showing us things we never saw in the moment,

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Speaker 3: and then the firsthand experience that's.

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Speaker 4: Hard to ignore. The first five days.

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Speaker 3: Of my mothering journey were a dream. My brand new

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Speaker 3: baby just fed and slept. I can remember lying in

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Speaker 3: my hospital bed next to her crib, willing her to

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Speaker 3: wake so I could have my next encounter, my next snuggle.

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Speaker 3: I was in awe of this little human being I

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Speaker 3: had helped create. The day we left the hospital and

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Speaker 3: wheeled her crib all the way down the hallway out

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Speaker 3: the entrance of the hospital and placed her in her

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Speaker 3: very own car seat for the first time was a

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Speaker 3: little surreal. I couldn't believe how lucky we were. We

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Speaker 3: drove out the driveway on our way to our own

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Speaker 3: little happily ever after. But within moments of us leaving

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Speaker 3: the safety of the hospital and help at the push

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Speaker 3: of a button, she started crying uncontrollably, and she was loud.

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Speaker 3: Nothing I did calmed her, and I thought my heart

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Speaker 3: would break in two. I went from feeling like I

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Speaker 3: had it all together to being a total loss within seconds.

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Speaker 3: The years that followed amplified that feeling over and over again.

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Speaker 3: Just when you feel like you have it all together,

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Speaker 3: another spanner in the works, another moment in time you

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Speaker 3: never thought you'd have to face. This mothering gig is hard,

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Speaker 3: so hard that I have spent many sleepless nights pacing

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Speaker 3: the floor or drenching my pillow and tears. How could

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Speaker 3: I get things so wrong? Why didn't I foresee that danger?

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Speaker 3: How do I reach my child? And in an instant

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Speaker 3: there is clarity. I am doing the very best I can,

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Speaker 3: And for all my good intentions, my know how and education,

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Speaker 3: there are still days I am at and out of failure,

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Speaker 3: just like my mum. And that's when the light bold

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Speaker 3: moment hits. So is she. For all her effort, for

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Speaker 3: all her good intentions, know how in education, she too

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Speaker 3: found herself pacing the floor and drenching her pillow, wondering

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Speaker 3: how she could ever make good. Sometimes it's easy to

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Speaker 3: see the faults of others and want to blame them

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Speaker 3: for how hard our life is. Let's be real, some

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Speaker 3: mistakes hurt a lot. My mum wasn't perfect, She's the

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Speaker 3: first one to admit that, but she taught me a

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Speaker 3: lifelong lesson. She taught me that no matter how hard

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Speaker 3: it gets, no matter how many times you fall, or

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Speaker 3: how often you just have to find the strength to

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Speaker 3: get up one more time and try again. I imagine

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Speaker 3: a Mother's Day in the far or future, my children

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Speaker 3: surrounding me, and I wonder will they see me for

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Speaker 3: the utter failure I was? Or will they offer me

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Speaker 3: their grace? Will they experience the realization that while I

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Speaker 3: was not perfect, I did my very best.

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Speaker 4: I hope.

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Speaker 3: So this Mother's Day, I want to pay tribute to

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Speaker 3: my mum, imperfect as she is, for the countless time

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Speaker 3: she chose to get up one more time. It is

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Speaker 3: her example that helps me find the courage to keep trying.

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Speaker 3: What I feel like I am a complete and utter failure.

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Speaker 2: Well, we've had some wonderful moments throughout the year as

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Speaker 2: we've shared our lives with you on the podcast, and

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Speaker 2: hopefully you've been learning and growing as much as we

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Speaker 2: have as we reflect on what it is to be

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Speaker 2: great parents, what it is to be intentional about being

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Speaker 2: a parent, and what it is to raise kids in really,

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Speaker 2: really busy and sometimes complicated world. Tomorrow, we're going to

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Speaker 2: do one more of these episodes. We decided that we'd

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Speaker 2: share our top ten so tomorrow another five memories so

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00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 2: far from this year, as we celebrate one million downloads

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Speaker 2: of the Happy Families podcast from January one through to

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago.

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Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by.

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Speaker 5: Juice Now not ju Justin Justin Rulan.

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Speaker 3: Justin Rulan at Bridge Media.

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Speaker 5: That's it.

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Speaker 3: And our executive producer is Craig Bruce.

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Speaker 4: I remember his name this time.

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Speaker 2: I've still got our training wheels on for this. If

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Speaker 2: you enjoy the podcast, we are so grateful for your

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Speaker 2: listening and for your reviews. Please jump on our Apple

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Speaker 2: podcasts and leave those five star ratings and reviews so

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Speaker 2: that we can help other people to find out about

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Speaker 2: what we do and make their families happier. And if

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Speaker 2: you like more info about building a happier family, check

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Speaker 2: out Happy Families memberships. All the info is a Happy

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Speaker 2: Families dot com dot au