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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, even if a child would prefer to be in

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Speaker 2: their bedroom on their own for three months or for

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Speaker 2: ten years, it is very very rare that that would

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Speaker 2: actually be a good thing for their development.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson. Hello, I'm the founder of

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Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com. Dot I you I'm here with Kylie.

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Speaker 3: That's a bit where you say hello like I said hello,

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Speaker 3: Hello mother.

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Speaker 4: Do our six kids and my podcast co host.

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Speaker 3: Last week, we had this really great conversation with an

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Speaker 3: author and school principal.

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Speaker 4: His name is Michael Parker.

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Speaker 3: He wrote a book called Talk with Your Kids about

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Speaker 3: Things that Matter, issues like friendship, respect, honesty, bulling, consent,

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Speaker 3: and pandemic stuff like. Such a fun conversation, such an

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Speaker 3: important conversation, and a book that we have been experimenting

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Speaker 3: with differing level of success over the last week with

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Speaker 3: our children.

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Speaker 5: Let's just say the conversations around the dinner table are

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Speaker 5: getting quite interesting these days.

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Speaker 4: It's been a lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: But because Michael is not just the author of this

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Speaker 3: wonderful book, but also the principal at Newington College, and

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Speaker 3: because well everything keeps on changing everywhere, especially for New

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Speaker 3: South Wales Act and Victoria, but we wanted to have

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Speaker 3: another conversation with him and get his wisdom around kids

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Speaker 3: going back to school as a result of the COVID

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Speaker 3: nineteen panic panic pandemic.

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Speaker 4: No I shouldn't, I shouldn't push them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, and sort of ask a handful of

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Speaker 3: questions around that because we've got Victoria trying to get

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Speaker 3: kids back to school in New South Wales trying to

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Speaker 3: get kids back to school, and children need to be

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Speaker 3: at school like that daily rhythm that they get into

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Speaker 3: where they get to say by mum, by dad, and

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Speaker 3: then they catch up with their friends. They go to class.

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Speaker 3: The learning that they do isn't just home learning with

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Speaker 3: a sheet in front of zoom. They're interacting with their peers,

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Speaker 3: they listen to their teachers, they're getting involved in conversations

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Speaker 3: and all that sort of stuff. And then they go

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Speaker 3: to recess and they have the social time, like it's

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Speaker 3: so different to being at home. So with everything, the fears,

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Speaker 3: the worries, the stresses, all that sort of stuff, all

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Speaker 3: the dramas.

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Speaker 4: That was far too long an intro. Michael Parker, thanks

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Speaker 4: for joining us again.

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Speaker 2: Thank you good to be able to talk to you again.

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Speaker 4: That was just me.

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Speaker 3: Getting so excited about kids going back to school. Where

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Speaker 3: do you want to start? You must be yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 3: where should we start?

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Speaker 5: Hunt, Michael, I'm just wondering what's important for parents to

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Speaker 5: know right now? When I talk to you know, all

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Speaker 5: of my friends, everybody is so concerned about their children

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Speaker 5: falling behind. You know, the last two years have been

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Speaker 5: ridiculously hard on families and especially our children as they

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Speaker 5: kind of try to be educated in such a new

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Speaker 5: and interesting format. What's important for parents to understand and

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Speaker 5: know right now?

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Speaker 2: I think some level of security and all while on

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Speaker 2: the head of one school, I hope you know, I

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Speaker 2: can I can speak to what many many of my

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Speaker 2: college is in the teaching profession we'll be doing is saying, yeah, well,

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Speaker 2: we'll recognize that that learning will will have been a

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Speaker 2: little bit patchy for for some kids. There'll be some holes.

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Speaker 2: And I'm speaking as a father as well, who can

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Speaker 2: identify the holes and my my children's you know, where

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Speaker 2: they are. So I think that the teachers, many of

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Speaker 2: the teachers will be going and saying, okay, where where

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Speaker 2: are they up to? What have what have they got to?

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Speaker 2: And and let's let's go from there. So whether whether

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Speaker 2: at the younger are at younger levels, that's you know what,

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Speaker 2: what what reading level are they are? Let's test that.

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Speaker 2: And when I say test, it doesn't mean a test

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Speaker 2: test for the student's sake, it's test for the teachers

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Speaker 2: say to know where they are and go right, let's

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Speaker 2: let's go from that point and keep and keep keep

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Speaker 2: the reading going from there. We'll keep the mathematical knowledge

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Speaker 2: going from there. And for for older kids, whether it's

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Speaker 2: the historical knowledge or geography or whatever it is. So

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Speaker 2: so I think there'll be a lot of that taking

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Speaker 2: stock and going from there rather than just moving ahead

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Speaker 2: as if nothing had happened.

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Speaker 4: Michael.

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Speaker 3: A lot of parents that I've spoken to are really

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Speaker 3: concerned about sending their children to school for health reasons.

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Speaker 3: If they've got younger children, they're worried that the kids

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Speaker 3: might catch the virus. If they've got older children, there's

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Speaker 3: still some vaccine hesitancy, particularly for parents of kids in

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Speaker 3: that sort of twelve plus age group where they're supposed

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Speaker 3: to be getting vaccinated. But there's a lot of people

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Speaker 3: who are saying, I just I don't know if I

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Speaker 3: want my kids to have this vaccine. There's a lot

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Speaker 3: of people who are saying it's still too new. What

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Speaker 3: kind of feedback are you getting from parents and what

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Speaker 3: are you saying to reassure them, because obviously that's going

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Speaker 3: to be a central part of your role over the

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Speaker 3: next little while.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so yes, we are getting both the let's get

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Speaker 2: everybody back and you know, I'm worried about my child

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Speaker 2: getting getting sick. A phrase that we've been using for

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Speaker 2: the last two years is that we operate under the

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Speaker 2: umbrella of health advice, and the health advice is that kids,

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Speaker 2: although they catch COVID, they are much much, much less

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Speaker 2: likely to get it. Seriously, it presents more as a

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Speaker 2: as a cold or a flu, and they are significantly

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Speaker 2: less likely to pass it on. So we are operating

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Speaker 2: with that advice that it is for them, not hugely,

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Speaker 2: particularly how the adults are vaccinated, it is. It is

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Speaker 2: not a huge, huge issue for them. Now it will

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Speaker 2: be for a tiny minority. But at the same time,

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Speaker 2: the world needs to move on. The kids need to

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Speaker 2: be educated. They can't they can't sit at home in

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Speaker 2: perpetuity on zoo, and so schools will do what they can.

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Speaker 2: But it is we're also sort of offering that comfort

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Speaker 2: that the health advice is giving us.

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Speaker 3: Let me ask another question that I think is a

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Speaker 3: really challenging one. Many parents that I've spoken with are saying,

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Speaker 3: my kids are much happier at home.

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Speaker 4: I've got a child who's got anxiety, or I've.

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Speaker 3: Got kids that are on the spectrum, or they've got

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Speaker 3: ADHD or any other kind of additional need, or maybe

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Speaker 3: they've just got quite kids, the ones who really like

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Speaker 3: their own company and like their own space.

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Speaker 4: What what's your.

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Speaker 3: Response for families whose children are really not wanting to

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Speaker 3: go back to school because they like the they like

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Speaker 3: the lack of sociality, they like the fact that the

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Speaker 3: pressure is often that things have changed. How do we

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Speaker 3: how do we work with those kids and help them

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Speaker 3: to be in a place where ultimately it's for their

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Speaker 3: benefit to be at school.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and and I would I would make that later point.

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Speaker 2: Even if a child would prefer to be in their

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Speaker 2: bedroom on their own for three months or for teen years,

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Speaker 2: it is very very rare that that would actually be

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Speaker 2: a good thing for their development. So the difficulties at school,

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Speaker 2: the learning, the social interactions and the spiky social and

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Speaker 2: I don't believe or anything like that, because just that

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Speaker 2: daily budding up against other human beings who've got other

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Speaker 2: needs and other things that happened to them, whatever that is,

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Speaker 2: that is important and it's preferable to do that. So

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Speaker 2: so unless there's something very very particular about the child

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Speaker 2: or the child situation of the family, school being with

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Speaker 2: other people is better.

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Speaker 3: For probably worth also throwing in that most schools have

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Speaker 3: wonderful supports in terms of guidance officers, psychologists, counselors and

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Speaker 3: the like who are going to be able to support

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Speaker 3: kids who are feeling that little bit anxious as well.

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Speaker 2: And absolutely the counselors, I think that, you know, all

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Speaker 2: the counseling stuff are are ready to help the kids

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Speaker 2: have that trouble adjusting back to what it is to

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Speaker 2: be in a school environment. So and many many schools

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Speaker 2: will be will be preparing for that, and it's something

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Speaker 2: for parents as well to be able to be able

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Speaker 2: to have those conversations with their kids. So yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think that, yeah, there'll be steps on the way, and

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Speaker 2: there'll be extra things that society has to do, but

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Speaker 2: it's an important place to get to. And I mean

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Speaker 2: there's always been home schooling for parents and for families

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Speaker 2: who make that in principal decision that schooling is not

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Speaker 2: for them, and so that was there before, it will

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Speaker 2: be there after.

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Speaker 5: Well, we're having an intriguing conversation with Michael Parker, principal

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Speaker 5: at Newington College and author of Talk with Your Kids

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Speaker 5: About Things that Matter. After the break, we're going to

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Speaker 5: delve into our seniors Year twelve students and find out

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Speaker 5: how we can help them.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 6: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 6: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 6: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at happy

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Speaker 6: families dot com, dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now, And today we

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Speaker 5: are talking with Michael Parker.

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Speaker 3: He's the author of Talk with Your Kids About Things

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Speaker 3: that Matter and the principal at Newington College. Michael, thanks

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Speaker 3: again for taking time to have a chat with us

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Speaker 3: about this year twelve, students are really under the pump

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Speaker 3: at the moment. There's all kinds of pressures. Parents are

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Speaker 3: worried about how their lives are going to be affected

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Speaker 3: because they're not going to potentially have had the ideal

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Speaker 3: preparation leading into their ATAR and their HSC studies or

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Speaker 3: their vcees or whatever it might be.

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Speaker 4: And whichever stated is, what are you.

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Speaker 3: Seeing in terms of stress levels for parents and students

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Speaker 3: in that senior year year twelve, and what advice are

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Speaker 3: you giving to those families.

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Speaker 2: So for most kids, the stress levels are significantly up,

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Speaker 2: and I think that is because two reasons. One that

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Speaker 2: changed nature of how they learned the last part of

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Speaker 2: the HC and also the uncertainty and that the number

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Speaker 2: of changes that they've been so it's totally understandable that

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Speaker 2: the stress levels up. And also that most of them

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Speaker 2: haven't been se any of their friends and they've missed

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Speaker 2: out on the richual that I can keep cutting them off.

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Speaker 2: There's there's a whole series of reasons why kids can

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Speaker 2: can easily be be feeling more stressed. Two factors I

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Speaker 2: think that it's important to remember is that it's still

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Speaker 2: a level playing for I mean, everybody has experienced home learning,

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Speaker 2: and there's been there's been different not everywhere, but there's

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Speaker 2: there's been different types of home learning, but there there

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Speaker 2: has been. It is something that hasn't just happened to them,

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Speaker 2: It's happened to tens and tens and tens of thousands

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Speaker 2: of kids. There is there is also a pretty elaborate

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Speaker 2: misadventure procedure or an equity procedure for the whole schools

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Speaker 2: who haven't been able to get to school and do

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Speaker 2: their artwork and so on. I mean, in a funny way,

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Speaker 2: there's so many people are leap robbing using that equity

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Speaker 2: access and there's almost no one left to leap frog over.

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Speaker 2: So the and the other point is that a tars

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Speaker 2: particularly where where the number really matters, that's for kids

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Speaker 2: going to university, and the universities, as it turns out,

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Speaker 2: really need domestic students next year.

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Speaker 3: So of course, of course, because there's no one coming

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Speaker 3: in front overseas, so they're not going to reach their

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Speaker 3: quotas they need more students in the classrooms, you'd expect

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Speaker 3: that the ATAR requirements would drop.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think that a lot of these kids,

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Speaker 2: despite the Royal experience they have will end up in

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Speaker 2: the thing that as many the thing that they wanted

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Speaker 2: to do that for that reason.

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Speaker 4: Just before, Yeah, I mean the level.

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Speaker 2: Of precision that the atar's got. You know, there's what

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Speaker 2: is it? Yeah, you go from thirty to ninety nine,

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Speaker 2: ninety nine and then there's twenty marks within each other.

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Speaker 2: That level of precision is is so minute that I

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Speaker 2: think you can say, look, if I get between you know,

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Speaker 2: eighty seven or eighty nine, that's great. Or if I

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Speaker 2: get between sort of you know, seventy six and eighty two,

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Speaker 2: that's where I was looking at. I think if you don't,

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Speaker 2: if you if you had a zone rather than obsessed

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Speaker 2: on a number, then I think that would that would

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Speaker 2: help help you out.

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Speaker 4: As well, Michael.

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Speaker 3: Just before we dive into our last question, which Kylie

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Speaker 3: is looking for, I guess with a bit of reassurance,

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Speaker 3: something that I also think is worth highlighting is that

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Speaker 3: from time immemorial, Year twelve students have been experiencing all

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Speaker 3: kinds of hiccups, dramas, and even self sabotage for their.

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Speaker 4: Final year of school.

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm the walking, talking poster child of the child

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Speaker 3: who's year twelve was just awful. It was a complete disaster,

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Speaker 3: and I had no desire to go to university. But

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Speaker 3: a few years later, once I've grown up a little

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Speaker 3: bit matured, I was ready to be at UNI. And

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Speaker 3: that's when that that's when my education actually really really started.

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Speaker 3: My suspicion is that for children who have had a

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Speaker 3: disrupted senior year of high school, they'll recover pretty quickly.

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Speaker 4: They'll get on with it.

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Speaker 2: I was the year that the HC got stolen, and

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Speaker 2: my how did you.

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Speaker 4: Get the stolen?

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Speaker 2: What was that They the people broke broke into where

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Speaker 2: where all the paper exams were kept, and you could

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Speaker 2: in the ear I won't mentioned the area, but you

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Speaker 2: could go to the local McDonald's and get a burger

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Speaker 2: of friars and a chemistry exam and it was it

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Speaker 2: was crazy. And then he cut a long story short.

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Speaker 2: Triple J got the or the I think the Double

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Speaker 2: J O the time, but anyway, Triple J got the

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Speaker 2: got the exam. And then they read the ancient history

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Speaker 2: exam out over the radio while I was studying and listening.

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Speaker 2: I was studying something, but I was listening to a

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Speaker 2: Triple J. And they they read one of my exams

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Speaker 2: out over the radio, and I remember thinking this has

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Speaker 2: to be a dream because you know, your exam doesn't

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Speaker 2: get right out over the radio. But anyway, we I

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Speaker 2: mean that exam got put back three weeks. You know,

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Speaker 2: my schools went down the brain and everything, and you

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Speaker 2: know I'm still here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I think that that's a really really

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Speaker 3: reassuring message the kids. They'll get what they get, but

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Speaker 3: if they really want to do something, they'll figure out

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Speaker 3: a way to get in. Even if this years been disrupted.

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Speaker 3: They might get in next year or the year after

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Speaker 3: or when they're twenty six, but they'll be able to

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Speaker 3: do what they want if university is where they want

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Speaker 3: to go.

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Speaker 4: And for those that aren't worried about UNI, it's that's

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Speaker 4: probably not even that big of a deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think when you when you're getting if you're not

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Speaker 2: looking for unique you and you're trying to push yourself

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Speaker 2: a bit, you're trying to learn that stuff because I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, there's stuff in your togs worth learning for itself,

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Speaker 2: not just to get a number. And you know you'll

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Speaker 2: you'll still have all that and you'll you'll have the

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Speaker 2: HSC and employers will take them yeah, so.

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Speaker 4: I think they still need to hire a p people,

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Speaker 4: So that's right.

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Speaker 5: So, Michael, I'm wondering what would be your take home

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Speaker 5: message for parents, for parents.

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Speaker 2: Of of all all the different kids. And I say

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Speaker 2: this as a parent myself of a year twelve and

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Speaker 2: yet tensitive two to try to yeah, for the rest

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Speaker 2: of this year, Yeah, take a deep breath, because I

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Speaker 2: think we'll I think we'll get there, and I think

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Speaker 2: we'll get back to normal. It's going to be some

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Speaker 2: chopping water on the on the way through, but the

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Speaker 2: steps are in the right direction, and the steps are

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Speaker 2: about getting kids back and getting them with each other

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Speaker 2: and having the joy of them seeing each other and learning,

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Speaker 2: and will it is it is very very very likely

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Speaker 2: that where we'll get there by the end of the year,

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Speaker 2: all beginning of next year.

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Speaker 5: And I'm wondering if you have a take home message

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Speaker 5: for the students, especially are your twelve's coming to the

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Speaker 5: final final stretch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really looking forward to seeing you again. The

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Speaker 2: schools that empty. I'm at the school every day and

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Speaker 2: it's just it's just it's bizarre, tumbleweed's going down. I

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Speaker 2: know your teachers are both bably naggy. If you're homework

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Speaker 2: and they're telling you to pull your stocks up and stuff.

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Speaker 2: But they like you and they want to see you

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Speaker 2: again and they're looking forward to having you back. So

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Speaker 2: you know, come back with us bringing you step because

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Speaker 2: we're looking forward to having you.

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Speaker 3: I love that message. I think that might be one

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Speaker 3: of the nicest things that you could have said. And

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Speaker 3: it's totally not what I was expecting. But Michael Parker,

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Speaker 3: principle of Newington College, author of Talk with Your Kids

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Speaker 3: About Things That Matter, thank you so much for sharing

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Speaker 3: your ideas about kids in the lockdown States preparing to

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Speaker 3: head back to school and get things going again.

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Speaker 4: It's been a pleasure to chat with you.

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Speaker 2: Pleasure talking with you too. Thank you.

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Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

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Speaker 3: Bridge Media.

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Speaker 4: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 3: to it make their families happier.

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