Speaker 1: Here we go the pickup.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 3: It's a bit of a somber mood because our very
Speaker 3: own Matildas were knocked out of the FIFA World Cup
Speaker 3: last night, which is not the outcome they wanted, not
Speaker 3: the outcome we all wanted.
Speaker 2: But we could not be prouder of our girls. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's sad that.
Speaker 3: They didn't make it through, but also still history making
Speaker 3: incredible to watch, an incredible how much this has changed
Speaker 3: women's sport forever.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I cried. I feel like I
Speaker 2: have a cry now reliving it. And I am just
Speaker 2: a spectator.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine the emotions that they are going through,
Speaker 3: and they're mixed emotions. Obviously they're so disappointed, but they
Speaker 3: must be so proud of themselves and each other as well.
Speaker 3: So it's yeah, you know what, I'm sad because we
Speaker 3: may not get a public holliday anymore.
Speaker 2: That's what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: We're not getting the public holidays. It's not happening.
Speaker 2: I was hardly on hope for that one.
Speaker 1: We may not be. No, no, it's not all right
Speaker 1: to break it to you, but that ship is sad.
Speaker 2: I'm calling it sick anyway.
Speaker 1: But truthfully, how many people can say they watched a
Speaker 1: game of women's soccer before this year? It has changed
Speaker 1: it for everyone. It's incredible.
Speaker 2: It's changed history one hundreds and we're so proud of them.
Speaker 2: We're very, very very proud of them.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Moving right along, we have a really interesting predicament today.
Speaker 3: We have an ask gun cut where you guys, a
Speaker 3: listener calls in or writes in with their problem.
Speaker 2: And today's one is so tricky.
Speaker 3: It's a co parenting, stepmom, blended families question. And I
Speaker 3: think a lot of OSSI's will relate to this or
Speaker 3: have been in a similar situation. Yeah, I mean we
Speaker 3: have the stepmom calling in. They always get painted. It's
Speaker 3: a bad guy, don't they.
Speaker 1: Yeah, evil stepmom and all the Disney movies it's always
Speaker 1: the evil step mom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well maybe not that evil after all.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll get around here at the pick up.
Speaker 1: Let's start Thursday dedicated to the Tillies. What a run, girls, girls.
Speaker 1: All right, we're here thanks to Chemists ware househead in today,
Speaker 1: great savings every day. It's the Pickup with Britt, Laura
Speaker 1: and Mitch. Here rush into Chemists Warehouse this Father's Day
Speaker 1: for big brand fragrances at the lowest prices, chemists warehouse
Speaker 1: great savings. Every day, it is time, guys for this.
Speaker 4: Ask our pat.
Speaker 2: So askun Kat is a show favorite.
Speaker 3: We do it every Thursday and it's where you, guys,
Speaker 3: you call in with your deep, your dark, your biggest
Speaker 3: problems and we do our best to answer them.
Speaker 2: Now we have a really, really hard one today.
Speaker 3: We have Tanya on the phone and she is having
Speaker 3: some parents, some problems co parenting with her partner's X.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Hi Tanya, welcome to the pickup.
Speaker 2: Hey guys, Hi, Hi Danielle Danye, what's happening.
Speaker 5: I'm just kind of co parent with the narcissist luck
Speaker 5: and I'm on the other end and it's my partner's
Speaker 5: ex wife. So I'm seeing it as the female watching
Speaker 5: the male get completely screwed, and you know, his children
Speaker 5: are being taken away from him and used as financial pawns.
Speaker 5: And I'm realizing how powerless I am. But like men
Speaker 5: in these co parenting situations, I got them at a
Speaker 5: very young age, extremely close. So this has only kind
Speaker 5: of happened over the last year or so. Were so
Speaker 5: actively involved and we had them for so long and regularly,
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden when they I guess
Speaker 5: became of age. It was just they were manipulated and
Speaker 5: they believe that they were only financially benefited for us,
Speaker 5: and we don't have them anymore.
Speaker 3: So how old were they? And then what happened a
Speaker 3: year ago? Like what changed?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: So their preteens kids test both parties. We get that
Speaker 4: we were acknowledged like one of the kids were lying.
Speaker 4: We thought we would address it. The other party had
Speaker 4: basically shared that information and manipulated this situation to go, Well,
Speaker 4: they've gone through your personal devices, they've caught you out,
Speaker 4: and now they're like, well, I don't want to come home.
Speaker 3: So when you say the kids are being used as
Speaker 3: financial pawns and against you in what capacity do you
Speaker 3: mean there is the ex trying to get more money
Speaker 3: from you.
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, so obviously through your child support you the
Speaker 4: kids have to stay a certain amount with the dad
Speaker 4: for them to I guess be considered as a contributor.
Speaker 4: Is not the dads have to pay more child support.
Speaker 3: Well, how do you think that she's trying to manipulate
Speaker 3: the kids to want to stay with her more to
Speaker 3: get more money.
Speaker 4: It's not think it's one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: I think that all you can really do in this
Speaker 3: situation is the kids are going to look back and
Speaker 3: remember how they were treated by whom at this point.
Speaker 3: But if you are constantly not showing these kids that
Speaker 3: they are loved and supported and you know you will
Speaker 3: do anything for them, and they feel safe, then that
Speaker 3: is going to be powerful enough. When the time comes
Speaker 3: and the other mum is telling them these stories against
Speaker 3: you trying to manipulate them, they're like, well, we actually
Speaker 3: have an amazing time when we're with them that we
Speaker 3: feel so loved and so safe. I know that they're
Speaker 3: preteens and maybe it's changed, but from my understanding, I
Speaker 3: grew up in a separated household. We had to do
Speaker 3: shared parenting with my dad. Even at preteens, you don't
Speaker 3: really have a choice around where you are at. It's
Speaker 3: still too young to make that decision for yourself, and
Speaker 3: so there should be some If you're not able to
Speaker 3: be able to get parenting access because that's being denied
Speaker 3: to you, there should be some other ways in which
Speaker 3: that can be.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go so far as say man data,
Speaker 2: but there are rules.
Speaker 3: Around it where you know the kids are going to
Speaker 3: be co parented between the two houses, and I think
Speaker 3: in order to have that opportunity to have face time
Speaker 3: with them so that when they are with you, they
Speaker 3: know that they're not in trouble, because that seems like
Speaker 3: that's a big thing, is that they're so worried that
Speaker 3: they're going to get in trouble if they're at your house,
Speaker 3: but having them there to exactly as it's said, like
Speaker 3: reinforce that they're not in trouble, reinforce that the love
Speaker 3: is consistent and that it's not conditional based on the
Speaker 3: way that they're behaving or what they're doing.
Speaker 2: And I guess the other.
Speaker 3: Big thing is is you can go through these periods
Speaker 3: where you think that this is going to be a
Speaker 3: static but in a year's time they will be older.
Speaker 3: The situation will continually change as they get a little
Speaker 3: bit older and as their understanding of everything changes too,
Speaker 3: And I think the only thing you can be is
Speaker 3: consistent with your love and your your adoration of them.
Speaker 3: And also last thing, kids, even if they're yours or
Speaker 3: their step children, it doesn't matter at that preteen early
Speaker 3: teen age, they hate you regardless like every kid goes
Speaker 3: to that moment where they're going to hate their mum
Speaker 3: and they rebel and it does come back around, and
Speaker 3: it will because you sound like an amazing parent. So
Speaker 3: that's also I know you feel horrible, like you're the
Speaker 3: horrible step mum, but we've all literally, I feel like
Speaker 3: especially females but like girls, we all go through it.
Speaker 4: It's hard on Alan because you know we have and
Speaker 4: obviously you have to go back to courts now.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, the problem they do have their stay once
Speaker 5: they're past twelve, so it's hard because they miss them.
Speaker 4: And yeah, like the dynamics of our family have changed,
Speaker 4: you know, the pressure on our marriage, trying to support
Speaker 4: that relationship when these beautiful minds are being manipulated and said,
Speaker 4: it's it's horrible to think that that's what they're growing
Speaker 4: up to believe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's tough to keep us updated. Okay, our thoughts
Speaker 1: are with you and listen. If you want to get
Speaker 1: on the show like that, you can DMUs on the
Speaker 1: Pickup on the socials so you can write in the
Speaker 1: Pickup dot com dot au. But that is a tricky.
Speaker 2: Situation, Yeah, it really isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, guys, we're back after this. Here on
Speaker 1: the pick up, Sprit Laura and Mitch here on the pickup.
Speaker 1: Thanks to chemists warehouse heeading today, great savings every day.
Speaker 1: You guys have all heard a flubber right for.
Speaker 6: The movie Yeah Green babylis with a.
Speaker 1: Tummy so good? But have you heard of fubbing?
Speaker 7: Sounds sexy? Fubber actually sounds quite un sexy. It's a
Speaker 7: new trend that is emerging, especially in relationships. A new
Speaker 7: study that has come out of the US has investigated
Speaker 7: the effects of fubbing, which is snubbing your partner by
Speaker 7: using he's the pH your phone.
Speaker 6: Fu abbreviate everything. Yeah, no, here's what fubbing is. Okay,
Speaker 6: because I think you're both guilty of it. They enlisted
Speaker 6: seven hundred and twelve married couples with an average of
Speaker 6: thirty seven years old. That's how old they were, so
Speaker 6: similar ages to us in the room. They were then
Speaker 6: surveyed on their marriage satisfaction, fubbing tendencies, and communication skills.
Speaker 6: The results came back grim couples who can't put their
Speaker 6: phone down and who fubb each other led to marital
Speaker 6: dissatisfaction and divorce.
Speaker 3: I know that, yes, fubbing as a thing, but like,
Speaker 3: that's just ignoring your partner.
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, let me give you the signs that
Speaker 1: you're a fubber, because these have come out of the university.
Speaker 1: Now you all are ticking many of these boxes. Britain
Speaker 1: more whatever. Signs that you're a fubber. You always have
Speaker 1: your phone out when you're with your partner in your hands.
Speaker 3: I have a partner that lives in the same hemisphere.
Speaker 3: She's on her phone because she's on the phone to
Speaker 3: her partner.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, most of your conversations with your partner are
Speaker 1: kept short because you're often scrolling your phone. Short conversations.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm on my phone a lot, but I'm not
Speaker 2: on it for social media? Does that matter? I don't
Speaker 2: know what about this?
Speaker 1: You fill in gaps in conversation by checking your phone.
Speaker 2: No, so many people do it in everything, and people
Speaker 2: do it with everything.
Speaker 1: Okay, what about this? When you're watching TV together, you
Speaker 1: go on your phone in the ad break instead of
Speaker 1: talking to each other.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I can answer these because Benley's
Speaker 3: on the other side of the world. But what I
Speaker 3: do notice is that I can What would it be
Speaker 3: called inter fub inter fubbing, international fubbing. What international fubbing,
Speaker 3: it's the interfub I can fub on the phone to band.
Speaker 3: So sometimes this happened last night. Actually, I was on
Speaker 3: a FaceTime to him on the iPad, so my phone
Speaker 3: was free, and I was emailing because I had to
Speaker 3: do some work emails at nighttime. And I was emailing
Speaker 3: and still trying to have a conversation with him, and
Speaker 3: he actually said after about forty minutes, he goes, I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna go call me back when you're free.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I am free. He's like you're not.
Speaker 2: You're working.
Speaker 3: He's like that's cool, but like call me back. And
Speaker 3: I was like no, I want to put the phone
Speaker 3: down to talk to him. And then every part of
Speaker 3: me wanted to press send on the email.
Speaker 2: I was like trying and not letting me be like send.
Speaker 2: I could just see it sitting there.
Speaker 1: You he fubbed him. Wow, guys, just stop fubbing your partner.
Speaker 1: Have a conversation. It's not that hard. I fubbed my partner.
Speaker 1: My partner fubbed me.
Speaker 2: You have to have fed you.
Speaker 1: I mean, you fugged him. I fubbed him.
Speaker 3: Yet I think it's good if you're if you feel
Speaker 3: like this is something that you do in your relationship,
Speaker 3: it's too much, bitch. If it's something that you do
Speaker 3: in your relationship, You've got to have rules, so like,
Speaker 3: past a certain point of time, put your phone away,
Speaker 3: or if you're watching a movie together the phones go
Speaker 3: into other rooms. I think you have to have especially
Speaker 3: if you're someone who's so easily distracted by social media
Speaker 3: or by scrolling, you just have to have time with
Speaker 3: your partner where your phone is not on you because
Speaker 3: you can't be you can't be expected.
Speaker 2: To have self but even our special time has to
Speaker 2: be on the phone. Here go to break.
Speaker 1: The pickup. Welcome everyone, britt, Laura and Mitch. Here rush
Speaker 1: into chemist Warehouse. This Father's day for big brand fragrances
Speaker 1: at the lowest prices. Chemists Warehouse great savings every day.
Speaker 2: All right, I have a confession and an admission to make.
Speaker 1: You're rocking in your chair, can you hear brittain panther.
Speaker 2: I'm liking this. She's going to make an admission.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's upsetting to me because I know it's
Speaker 3: going to make you both very happy. Because it's something
Speaker 3: you have been hounding me on for a long time,
Speaker 3: and I've always denied it.
Speaker 2: My dog Delilah has some very toxic traits.
Speaker 1: My God, that takes such self reflection.
Speaker 2: Thank you. She's been doing the work.
Speaker 1: Dailah hasn't because she's a shit of a dog. But
Speaker 1: your Australian Terrier has beautiful blue eyes.
Speaker 2: Who cares? She's naughty. She's very naughty. My dog Delilah
Speaker 2: is a beautiful dog.
Speaker 3: But everyone in you too, mainly You've always got problems
Speaker 3: with her behavior, what she does, and I have always
Speaker 3: defended it and said she's not that bad.
Speaker 2: She's great at home.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I have taken this on very seriously, like she's my child.
Speaker 3: I've always been offended at your disdain, but I do
Speaker 3: admit her disdain. Delilah is the equivalent of a really
Speaker 3: attractive person in a supermodel, you can get away with
Speaker 3: being a bit of an asshole because they're so hot.
Speaker 2: It is. She's that in a dog.
Speaker 1: Guys. We went to your house on the weekend, Laura.
Speaker 1: I just got my ear pissed. It is one day
Speaker 1: from healing there. It is just about to close up
Speaker 1: and be a brilliant ring. And I'm sitting on the
Speaker 1: couch at your house eating some beautiful dip and Delilah
Speaker 1: comes up behind me and licks my ear lobe and
Speaker 1: sucks my open wound on my lobe. Now it's infected.
Speaker 3: No, you should be thanking her, Mitchchuri, because dogs so
Speaker 3: Liva has anty biotics sit.
Speaker 2: That's why. It's why they lick wounds. So what she did,
Speaker 2: it's going to eat meat.
Speaker 1: There's not one dog in any hospital around the world
Speaker 1: licking I do.
Speaker 3: I have trained her to sniff out a wound and
Speaker 3: she will lickically. Okay, That I think is very very
Speaker 3: vanilla in comparison to the fact that Lola, my two
Speaker 3: year old, is sitting there eating her sandwich. Her dog,
Speaker 3: our dog, Buster, is sitting there being very placid, just
Speaker 3: looking hoping for treats. Delilah has her heckls up and
Speaker 3: is going to attack Buster to get Lola's food. And anyway,
Speaker 3: you ended up dragging her through the house by the
Speaker 3: collar to get her away.
Speaker 2: From the kid and the dog.
Speaker 3: Okay, look, some of her toxic traits are. She no
Speaker 3: longer eats normal food. She will leave kibble, She'll starve.
Speaker 2: Herself to day.
Speaker 3: She'll starve herself out until I give her salmon, tuna, fish,
Speaker 3: a tea, bone steak.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: She takes the ball at the park.
Speaker 3: She runs, picks it up, she doesn't fetch it, brings
Speaker 3: it deep into the bushes she can go so I
Speaker 3: can never retrieve it, then walks out without it.
Speaker 2: Least does it with other people's balls too, does it
Speaker 2: with other people. Very toxic.
Speaker 3: She looks directly in the eye meat, directly when I'm
Speaker 3: telling you to do something, high five, sit, go on
Speaker 3: a bit, anything she knows.
Speaker 2: She looks directly at me, looks through me. It completely
Speaker 2: ignores me.
Speaker 1: Toxic.
Speaker 2: It's very toxic, very troublesome. We've had some callers. We've
Speaker 2: had someone calling with their toxic traits. Make me feel better, Katrina.
Speaker 1: Thirteen, Katrina, what's your dog's toxic trade?
Speaker 8: So my Roody and I can say that any other
Speaker 8: rot wheeler parent an that would be listening would agree that.
Speaker 9: He has to be attached to me by his butt.
Speaker 8: So he even if he's like running, he's running out
Speaker 8: towards me for a hug, and then he'll like go
Speaker 8: turn around and then back into me and have his
Speaker 8: butt on me, and sometimes if I if it because
Speaker 8: he's trying to sit down, he ends up wiping his
Speaker 8: butt pole down my leg.
Speaker 6: He's just trying to territory it does he means to
Speaker 6: Katrina toxic what he's doing?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a yeah, toxic, toxic thanks Steph thirteen
Speaker 1: six five. What's your pet's toxic trait?
Speaker 9: We don't have any children at home, and we have
Speaker 9: to have a baby gates throughout the house because Pervoodle
Speaker 9: runs off of the sox in any bit of clothing
Speaker 9: that might be loose. And if we drop one out
Speaker 9: of the washing machine before we've noticed, she'd already collected it.
Speaker 2: What does she do with it?
Speaker 4: We're trying to bitehole.
Speaker 9: We have a lot of foxs from holes and them
Speaker 9: a lot of random box now none of them really
Speaker 9: match up. And if I tell her off, then she
Speaker 9: runs past my favorite house plan and bites down on one.
Speaker 3: Leap you.
Speaker 2: Know, delicate, Yeah, you don them to bite them? Oh
Speaker 2: my god, But have you thought maybe she's trying to
Speaker 2: put your clothes.
Speaker 3: Away for you, Daniel who used to try and steal
Speaker 3: dirty undies out of the washing basket and but through
Speaker 3: those that's a whole other type of top.
Speaker 1: My dog Hamish loves a tampon, but that's a conversation
Speaker 1: for another time.
Speaker 2: Why don't you women sure?
Speaker 1: I live with women.
Speaker 3: For the reason. I think the conclusion of this is
Speaker 3: is that Delilah is canceled and Delila.
Speaker 2: Is basic work.
Speaker 3: If there's anyone out there, any dog trainers, literally slune
Speaker 3: my dam all right, let's get out of here.
Speaker 9: My