1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Women, would you bite sized let's talk maths from last 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:10,880 Speaker 1: night very much? Did you throw audio there? Audio play 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: something there? Yeah? 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 2: God, it's been a malfunctioned with the button there. 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 3: He really went for it. 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 4: I enjoyed that night. 7 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: Guy watching the show today as well on Nathan he's 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: here from as and he bloody loved that, absolutely pissing 9 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: himself out there. So don't be too critical of me. 10 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: He loved it, all right. So Maps last night, big show, 11 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: biggest show on TV. As always Maps, they do it 12 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: bloody brilliantly. So there's a couple called Selena and Cody. 13 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: And the question I posed to everybody before I play 14 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: the audio is how important is sexual chemistry to a 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 1: relationship success? 16 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 4: I'd love to hear from you guys. Now. 17 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 1: The reason we're talking about this is because Cody the 18 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: dude last night he said, you know, he was into 19 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: his cheek. 20 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:50,959 Speaker 4: But. 21 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: His in his words, his schlong was not have a listen. Yeah, 22 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: I'm not sure what it is is a coordinating with 23 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: her head. 24 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 5: So yeah, yeah, there's no connection. 25 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 6: There's shame for Cody. 26 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: Between the schlong and the head. 27 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a shame of that disconnect. 28 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: This is what Selena said after he told her that 29 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: his schlong wasn't communicating with his head. 30 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 3: Still a little bit overwhelmed, fair enough hearing that he's 31 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 3: actually not attracted to me, that was a bit of 32 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,559 Speaker 3: a slave in the face. 33 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 5: You've got to be honest, though, like and I think 34 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 5: this show shows that honesty is so keen. If he's 35 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 5: not feeling the sexual chemistry, then do I actually do 36 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 5: believe is a way to. 37 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: Go about it that I think you can just say, hey, look, 38 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: I'm just not feeling it between the two of us. 39 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, I probably wouldn't talk about my schlong conversation, but 40 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 6: it's I think it is integral because I believe. I'm 41 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 6: of the view that if you don't have that sexual 42 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 6: chemistry early, you're in big trouble because over time it 43 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 6: will dwindle a bit, because there's nothing like that sexual 44 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 6: spark at the start of a relationship, when you're really excited. 45 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 5: That will dwindle a bit. But then you learn to 46 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 5: love each other, I think. But I don't think goes 47 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 5: the other way. 48 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: That's interesting. I have a friend of mine whose parents 49 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: soon arranged marriage. Yeah, they're from Sri Lanka, and the 50 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: line that I've heard him. Use is lust will fade, 51 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: love will grow. 52 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 5: I agree with that. 53 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 2: I agree with that. 54 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: So you might have something with someone, but you're not 55 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: answering the question because the question is how integral is 56 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: sexual chemistry to a relationship success? So I don't think 57 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: saying I'm not sexually attracted to someone is a reason 58 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 1: to say the relationship is not going to work, because 59 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: the lust is going to fade anyway. It's the love 60 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: that you want to keep if you want to have 61 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: a successful relationship with someone. 62 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 5: Jesus, you might have flipped me. 63 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: Yeah no I didn't. Man, I got here, I got 64 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: here and a Fallsbury flopped you. All right, Let's go 65 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: to Amy on thirty one and six. I hey Amy, 66 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:44,839 Speaker 1: how are you? 67 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 4: Hi? Guys, how are you going? I'm great? 68 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,799 Speaker 1: How important is it for you? 69 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 4: Well? Sexual chemistry is very, very important, because God, we're 70 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 4: all human and we all love that. I do believe 71 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 4: that you need to have both because you can't hate 72 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 4: somebody and call out of love with somebody and still 73 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 4: want to jump on that. You know what I mean, 74 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 4: is the best you've ever had? You're not going to 75 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 4: jump on that? 76 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 6: Yeah, I jump on that? 77 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: Well said, sure, we've. 78 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,079 Speaker 3: Got Peter here? 79 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: Peter is sexual Christ? Is it integral for a relationship success? 80 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: What's your experience? 81 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: Well, I've been married for over ten years. 82 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 7: Yep. 83 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 2: Last year we had an unexpected little girl and what 84 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: I said, no more until I get to snip, and no, 85 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 2: I haven't got to snip. And we haven't had thanks 86 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: in a year and a half or something, and then 87 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 2: we're so happy. What about a condown? 88 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 7: Peter? 89 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: You know that just don't work, mate. 90 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 5: There's nothing old you bag Peter, awful stallion. 91 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 4: That was just too honest. 92 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: But good, I mean it's good kid. I think he 93 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: just came on to just invent his rustrations hasn't ended 94 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: in a year and a half. He's got the sniff 95 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: on the horizon, get on the way. I mean it 96 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: sounds screamed for the big fella. Let's go to Kayla. 97 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 3: Hey, guys, Kayla, do. 98 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 7: You think child chemistry is important? But he really cooked 99 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 7: his groovese. He was such a dick about it. 100 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: This is last night, This is Cody on Maps. Is 101 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 1: that you're talking about? 102 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was such a dick about it. 103 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 7: And sexual chemistry it can grow like once you get 104 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 7: to know someone and who they are you can grow. 105 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 7: So to say it so early on was so like, 106 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 7: such a bad move. But he was such a dick. 107 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 7: He should not have mentioned his s. She's going to 108 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 7: be off him from now on. I definitely would be. 109 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And I think it's a 110 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: ripping point from Calor as well. And this is the 111 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: point that I'm trying to make as well. I actually 112 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: think that you can grow sexual chemistry someone. I think 113 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: the reason you don't have sexual chemistry with someone originally 114 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: is because one of you is not being opened with 115 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: the other one. I think the reason that you have 116 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: sexual chemistry with someone is because both of you kind 117 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: of feel like you can trust each other, you can 118 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: be vulnerable with each other, and it clicks. 119 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 5: No, at the start, the chemistry is just the all 120 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 5: what I think. 121 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: I think that's purely subliminal. I think that's the pure Yeah, 122 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: I think it's all subconscious. I think it's all you're 123 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: being subconsciously vulnerable. Am I open to this person? Am 124 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: I not open to this person? When you're open to someone, 125 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: then you get there. So I think if you can 126 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: develop that with somebody, know what we need? 127 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 6: Yeah, like a sexual therapist or something to talk more 128 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 6: about this. 129 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: That would be great right now only we had one Yeah, 130 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 1: on a second, Oh my god, what the hell, doctor 131 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: Nicki gold Stand? 132 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 5: Where did you come from? 133 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: What are you doing on the show? Doctor Nicki? 134 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm on speed dial. 135 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: Doctor Nicky gold Stand. I'm going to talk to you 136 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: more about this. 137 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:52,919 Speaker 4: Right up next to Will. 138 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: And we are talking. Is sexual chemistry necessary for a 139 00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: relationship to be successful? That's the question on thirty and 140 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 1: one O six five. We're taking some brilliant calls, honestly, 141 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 1: some of the funniest goals about all year. But we're 142 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 1: going to go to a professional. We've got doctor Nicki Goldstein, 143 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: who's a sex ologist. She joins us doctor Nikki dot 144 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: com dot you if you want more of her, get 145 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 1: a doctor Niki. 146 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 4: Hi. 147 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. So let's get down to the 148 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: bottom of this, because Woody and I are very much 149 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:24,359 Speaker 1: opposed on this view. Is sexual chemistry necessary for a 150 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: relationship to be successful? 151 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 3: Well, I think it's important, not necessary, But the issue 152 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 3: is what is it? Because I think when it comes 153 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 3: to love, sex and relationships, we love to throw these 154 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 3: terms around, sure, but we don't actually stop to think 155 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 3: about well, what does sexual chemistry mean? You know, you 156 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 3: guys are talking about last versus love? Is it vulnerability 157 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 3: and getting to know someone? 158 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 7: Is it just attraction? 159 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 3: Like do you look at the person and go, hey, 160 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 3: you look hot? I want to do you? That sexual chemistry? 161 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 3: So their kind of lives. The problem is that if 162 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 3: one persons talking about sexual chemistry and their definition is 163 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 3: more motivated by lust and first impression, and the other 164 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 3: one thinks it's to do with connection vulnerability, then there 165 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 3: lives a huge problem in itself. 166 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 5: So what's your definition of sexual chemistry, doctor Nikki? 167 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 3: I think it's a bit of everything. To be you know, 168 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 3: completely greedy, is that you know you have to have 169 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 3: a certain level of physical attraction to somebody. Do you 170 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 3: feel like you need to connect with them on a 171 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 3: deeper level? And we all know that, you know that 172 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 3: fable that when we are crabby with our partner, we 173 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 3: do tend to shut down, we close off, And I 174 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 3: think that gives us a bit of insight into sexual 175 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 3: chemistry because when you are able to be open and 176 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 3: you feel connected, you do want to have sex with 177 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 3: them more. When they're annoying you, or they're hurting you, 178 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 3: or they've said, something that really pisses you off, you 179 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 3: shut down. 180 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: So sexual chemistry is more of a is more of 181 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: a fluid concept than something that you have and you 182 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: don't have. It's something that can grow away. 183 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 3: With that definition, let's go with the fluid word. I 184 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 3: like that, but I. 185 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: Do think it's something that grows and grows and fades 186 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: over to I often find like, if I'm on holiday 187 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: with my partner, we've got much better sexual chemistry because well, 188 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: you're not stressed about it. 189 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 3: On holiday, if you relax total. 190 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, you're relaxed, and I'm not tired, You're not worried 191 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 5: about other things, and yeah, completely, and also hotel rooms 192 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 5: and well, let's not get into it. Let's not get 193 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:21,679 Speaker 5: into it, doctor. 194 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: Niki, Doctor nick, what did you think picking up one? 195 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: But doctor Nikki, I'm going to move you too on 196 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: because it is caught a fast war, Doctor Nikki, what 197 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: did you think? Cody from Maps last night? This was 198 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 1: his definition of sexual chemistry for him. 199 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not sure what it is. 200 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: Is impordinating with her head? 201 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 3: Yeah? 202 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think about that? Sexual chemistry is 203 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: you're schlong not communicating with your head. 204 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: First of all, I think he's too quick to judge. 205 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 3: But you are not communicating with your head. I think 206 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 3: sometimes it's an excuse no friends guys, but guys tend 207 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 3: to make your and your schlong are connected. But they're 208 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 3: also two different organs. So you know you are looking 209 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 3: at when you Let's break it down. Your head is 210 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 3: more to do with that openness, vulnerability. Your slung has 211 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 3: more to do with that instantaneous satisfaction, which you can 212 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 3: turn on PORL and do that in five seconds. So 213 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 3: that's really not a heelpale sign of something that's going 214 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 3: to make a relationship. 215 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 2: With a good point. 216 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: I think it's a cop out as well. No, I 217 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: really like that. One hundred percent is a cop out. 218 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: Great point, Doctor Nikki. Girls, and she's body done again. 219 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: Let's give her round of a bort, shall we. 220 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 6: You're good, she's good, You're very good. 221 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: She's good, Doctor Nikki. Yeah, he was talking to you, 222 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: Doctoriki dot com dot she's got some Valentine's Day specials 223 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: coming up. Why are you done with that? 224 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 4: Why not? 225 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,239 Speaker 3: Check out more from Women Woody on The Full Show podcast.