1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:01,960 Speaker 1: Who let's do it. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 2: My friends accused me of ruining their vacation because I 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 2: partied too much. Well, I female thirty eight, just got 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 2: back from a vacation with two of my longtime friends, 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,319 Speaker 2: Kate female forty and Mary female thirty eight. I've known 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 2: them both since university and we've always been close. The 7 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 2: three of us have been planning for this Bali trip 8 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 2: for a few months, along with our husbands and their kids. 9 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: Did we cross paths? Were we part of the story? 10 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 3: I also find out the spinster's twenty four that's the cutoff, 11 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 3: so I just meeting it? 12 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,319 Speaker 1: Hang on, hang on. 13 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 2: So they both have children under five years old, while 14 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,160 Speaker 2: my husband Jake male forty five, and I are child free. 15 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 2: We agreed to split the cost of a four bedroom 16 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 2: villa three ways, and everything seemed fine at first. Okay, 17 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 2: and this comes from why spender and I see you 18 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 2: in the making from our slash better ended updates. So 19 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 2: Jake and I arrived in Bali earlier than the rest 20 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 2: of the group because we had different flights. Once we 21 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 2: had gotten to the villa, we waited to choose the 22 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: other rooms with their friends and didn't mind that they 23 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 2: both chose the ones with in suites. We did have 24 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 2: a great time during the trip. Jake and I did 25 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 2: some couples activities massages, hiking, dinners, but we also spent 26 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 2: time with Kate and Mary and their families. Whenever it 27 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 2: worked for everyone to be nice, I even surprised them 28 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 2: with massages to give them a break. 29 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: That's so sweet. 30 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 3: How consider it? 31 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: W friend move w friend. 32 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 2: Only thing that made me uncomfortable was that whenever I 33 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 2: ordered a drink, a cocktail before dinner, a glass of 34 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 2: wine with meals, I get a comment like, oh, you're 35 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 2: drinking again. 36 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: Damn dam oh. 37 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 3: You're being judgy again. 38 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 2: Oh got them, there's the mirrors. 39 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: Come on. 40 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 2: See reflection for context. I'm a social drinker and don't 41 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 2: drink often, but we were on vacation and I. 42 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: Didn't think it was a big deal. 43 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 2: It's nice, it's not, especially since our husbands were drinking too. 44 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm smelling misogyny, sexism, double standards, the defenders of 45 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 3: feminism right again me and and definitely not Sophia, not 46 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 3: at all t. 47 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: Women right, that's what she's being a man, dude, great. 48 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: Point, Damn whoa or that's feminists, that's great, go us. 49 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 2: I just ignored the comment so I can enjoy the trip. 50 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: On the last night, Jake and I made plans with 51 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 2: the guys to go out, and Kate and Mary said 52 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,959 Speaker 2: that they were going to stay in to pack. Jake 53 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 2: convinced me to join him, and since it was the 54 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 2: last night of our vacation, I didn't want to stay 55 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,399 Speaker 2: in either go out with a bang. We went out 56 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 2: and had a great time. We got home at one am, 57 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 2: and I passed out straight afterwards. The next morning was 58 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 2: a bit chaotic with everyone packing and checking out, but 59 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: we all made it back home without an issue. Right 60 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 2: We had booth business class seats back, so we were 61 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 2: separated during. 62 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: The flight and said quick goodbyes at the airport. All 63 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: seems like a great vacation. 64 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm literally like, where are we about to go wrong here? 65 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 2: Because the vacation is You've literally arrived home from the fire. 66 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 3: There, you arrived home, you got your friend's massages. 67 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: Where where's the butt? But there's more? Yeah, where is 68 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: the butt? Wait? 69 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 3: Where's the butt? 70 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: Where is it? I'm gonna find it. I always find 71 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: the butt now a week. 72 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: A week after returning from home, I got a long 73 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 2: text from Kate that both she and Mary wanted to 74 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 2: reduce contact with me because I ruined their vacation. 75 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: What ruined it? 76 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 3: I can't imagine saying to a friend like, let's say, John, 77 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 3: you like you paid for me and Riley to go 78 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 3: get massages on our on our vacation. And then I 79 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,839 Speaker 3: came back to you. I was like, John, you freaking. 80 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: Ruined my vacation. 81 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: Like, imagine a world where it's like, got you a 82 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: flight to sumwhere like Paris. Yeah, we all stayed and 83 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 2: covered in airbnb, you know, bought some you know, maybe 84 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: like a nice little like dinner, cruise. 85 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: My head, you know, just like random things. And then 86 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: you're like, wow, I hate all. I'm good. 87 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 3: That sucked. Done, John, I never want to go to Paris. 88 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: That sucked. Yeah, and thanks for ruining you know what. 89 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: We are welcome. 90 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 2: So they mentioned several things like me drinking every night, 91 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 2: and then I wasn't acting like a girl's girl. 92 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: Misappropriation of the girl's girl. 93 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 3: Bitterly, you're attacking her. You're not being a girl's girl. 94 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,839 Speaker 1: Exact, dude, this is bad. 95 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 3: You're being a judgy mcjudge ster. 96 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 2: Girl's girl is about to be weaponized, calling calling it 97 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 2: right here right now. 98 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 3: Oh, I think it is. I think a lot of 99 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 3: people do weaponize the term. 100 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: I could see. 101 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 4: I do what every chance I can to make people 102 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 4: feel bad. You're not a girl's girl. 103 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: Let me get the makeup every time. You're not a 104 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: girl's girl. Let pamper my face. 105 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 4: I was supposed toy to Angie every night whenever she 106 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 4: gives me, like, uh, face massages. 107 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 3: Do you give you face massages? 108 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:47,359 Speaker 1: No? Not at all. No, what's a face massage? You 109 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: don't I don't even know. 110 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 3: I'm just like like this. 111 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 4: It's like you get you know, those like little blue 112 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 4: balls you get and you like put it on the face. 113 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that? Does that? Does that help your 114 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: It's like good for your stress levels? 115 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 3: Well, it releases like your stress stress yeah lymphs. No, 116 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 3: wait that's not exactly. It's something it releases, something it releases. 117 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 3: It's good for your cheekbones. 118 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, whenever I say you're not a 119 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 1: girl's it works. Gas lighting unlocked. Nice. 120 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 2: So they said that I wasn't acting like a girl's girl, 121 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 2: I booked different flights, I didn't hang out with them enough, 122 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 2: and that I was selfish for not helping with their kids. 123 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 3: Oh, so they just wanted a girl's nanny. 124 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, be my nanny. 125 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 3: You're not a girl's girl. If you're not watching my 126 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 3: children for free, why are you having fun on the 127 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 3: vacation that you paid for everything yourself for appropriately, you're 128 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 3: upset that she drank because she couldn't watch the kids 129 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: because she was drinking. 130 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's yeah, yeah, good, a great point. She 131 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 2: even said that I was just focused on partying and 132 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: not acting my age. This message really hurt me. 133 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: She's forty, like thirty eight? Who cares? 134 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:58,479 Speaker 2: Who? 135 00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: What cares? 136 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 3: How is she not acting her age? 137 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: See? 138 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 2: This is also what we're The husband's doing the same thing, 139 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 2: knocking whiskey. 140 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: The same thing, same thing. That's what your husband. You're 141 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: not gonna deduxt Jake about this? Yeah, Nope, not doing it. 142 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 3: And keep your opinions to yourself. 143 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: Keep them to yourself. 144 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: I cried after reading this message, and I honestly don't 145 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 2: know what to think. I just saw I was enjoying 146 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 2: my vacation, but clearly they had a different view. I 147 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 2: haven't responded yet, and my husband has been asking what's 148 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 2: bothering me? But I don't know what to say? Am 149 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 2: I the a hill for how I reacted on the strip, 150 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: and there's an edit coming up from four hours later. 151 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: I mean, this is like real time, real time right now. 152 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: But let's stop, wait a minute, talk. 153 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 3: Put some here's my cup, put some water in it. 154 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: You want some? No O. 155 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if that was like a slywave of 156 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 2: like actually, like, my god, we do you call it 157 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 2: aglow fancy? 158 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: Yeah? This is insane, this is stupid, stupid. 159 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:12,239 Speaker 2: One hope hopeful perspective shift for op is OP should 160 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 2: cut them off. 161 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: But they did the deed for her. 162 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, they exposed themselves. 163 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: They exposed they also think if you. 164 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 3: Want to do certain things on a vacation, like if 165 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 3: you have certain ideas, that's fine, tell people be like, hey, 166 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 3: let's do these things. 167 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: Let's say you don't. 168 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 3: You don't get to like demand everybody's time on a vacation. 169 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 3: There are certain times that people want to go off 170 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 3: in link. Yeah, do their own thing. But if you 171 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 3: want to do certain things together, didn't just say hey, 172 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 3: let's like do you want to go get them to 173 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 3: the beach today and you want to do this today? Communicate? 174 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 2: You literally can't expect something if you haven't communicated. Yeah, 175 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: that is ridiculous in all scenarios. Always, you cannot expect 176 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 2: something if you haven't communicated. 177 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 3: And also those are your kids, Those aren't ops kids. 178 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: Dude, Like is there not? 179 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 2: Like there's gotta be there's got to be some sort 180 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 2: of like probably super dope like daycare or or something 181 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 2: like that, like one. 182 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 3: Of those playgrounds and like a McDonald's. Yeah, but like awesome, yeah, 183 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 3: and more awesome than that, and. 184 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 2: Like great people to I have, Like there's so many 185 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 2: there's so many solutions and reasons why they shouldn't be 186 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 2: putting us on a peak. It's just it's as long 187 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 2: as Santa's list. 188 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: So long as long as Santa's Nazi list. What as 189 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: long as Santa's nazy list. 190 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 3: Oh I think that was yeah, okay, okay. 191 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: That was intentional. That was intentional. No, that was what 192 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: that was to wait what we're not going to talk 193 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: about it, but it was the naughty list. It was 194 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: a due Yeah. Yeah, I was like, if you play 195 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,559 Speaker 1: it back, you'll see it at it. I'm still confused. 196 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: Someone tell me what I did. No, four hours later, 197 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 1: you just you just need to enunciate more. Yeah, that's 198 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: a naughty. 199 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 2: Malty, you're getting closer with the accent. But anyways, thank 200 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: you Reddit for all your kind words and support and 201 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 2: for hours you're welcome. 202 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: I'm taking myself. 203 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 2: Reading through, Reading through the responses and seeing how many 204 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 2: of you are upset on my behalf has really made 205 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 2: me reflect on how I initially planned to handle things. 206 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 2: I was going to apologize, don't tell hold off sirs. 207 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 3: Got nothing to apologize for. 208 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 2: Hold off sus, thinking that it might be the easiest 209 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 2: way to keep the peace. But now I realized that 210 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,319 Speaker 2: that might not be the right approach at all. 211 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 3: No, sometimes, like with friends, I think it is sometimes 212 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 3: just easier to apologize, even if you don't fully you know, 213 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 3: think you did anything wrong. But in this case, no. 214 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: Not the case. No, no, no the case. 215 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: I have also showed my husband Jake the post and 216 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,839 Speaker 2: text message, and he told me to thank you all 217 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 2: for looking out for me. He's actually pretty angry on 218 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 2: my behalf about the text message. I showed him some 219 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: of the comments that gave me insight on how my 220 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 2: friends may have been feeling, which has given us both 221 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 2: a lot to think about. He asked me what I 222 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: wanted to do next and if I wanted him to 223 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: respond to my friends. 224 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: For me nice which I appreciated the offer. 225 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a good thing to offer. I told 226 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 2: him I'm still thinking it over. He reassured me and 227 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,959 Speaker 2: that he's here for me no matter what, and if 228 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 2: I decide I want him to step in, he's ready 229 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: to say something on my behalf w husband move. For now, 230 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep on it and take some time 231 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 2: before I respond or don't respond to the text message. 232 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 2: If I do, I will post an update. 233 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: Again. Thank you all for helping me see things a 234 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 1: bit more clearly. I feel less alone now. 235 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 2: There are relevant comments and an updates. 236 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,439 Speaker 1: Should we dive right in? Should we just freaking dive right? 237 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 3: I think I think we've already kind of established that 238 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 3: she was not at fault. She should not apologize. 239 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: Yep. 240 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 3: I do think because they are they seem to be 241 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 3: close to enough friends to go on vacation, that she 242 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 3: should give a response. 243 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 244 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's that's the w movie, that's the 245 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: good that's the angel moves. 246 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: Yeah you know, yeah, so I agree. I agree. I 247 00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: think it's a move. 248 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 2: But let's say what happ leband comments Commenter says, not 249 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 2: the ahle they are one hundred percent jealous. There's a 250 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 2: stage in life where child free people do better hanging 251 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: out with other child free people. People with kids can't 252 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 2: see past their family lives and don't understand why you 253 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 2: might want to live your life like that. 254 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: I've been that soldier. 255 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 2: Whatever about meeting for coffee, lunch, dinner, traveling with them 256 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 2: is an absolute no. 257 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 3: I think there is sometimes this kind of judgment from 258 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 3: certain parents, like of non parent friends, of like, oh, 259 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 3: you're not mature, Like when you get to my stage 260 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 3: in life, then you'll understand, which is not the case. 261 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 3: You're just doing different things, but you're both the same 262 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 3: presumably the same age. 263 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I cannot stop hanging out with my friends after 264 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 2: I have kids. 265 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 3: That's yeah, I can't imagine. 266 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: It's too much. 267 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, hang out with me with the kids in a 268 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 2: appropriate because sometimes that can be annoying too. 269 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 270 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm also prioritizing having some alone time. 271 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: But you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a nice little 272 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 2: mix like there's but my kids are. 273 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 3: Gonna be so freaking Cool's gonna be so freaking cool. 274 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 4: They're gonna like like Lord of the Rings and they're 275 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,679 Speaker 4: gonna do some cool stuff with that. 276 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 3: I'm saying, my friends are gonna want to hang out 277 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 3: with my sick kids and they're gonna do with me, and. 278 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna force some literally literally, Sophia's family is 279 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 2: going to be like, oh, you know, into the Partridge family. 280 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: They're gonna be all hobbits. My family is gonna be 281 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: a hobbit because you want that, I do. 282 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 3: I do want. 283 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 2: The Partridge Family was like basically what your family will become. 284 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 2: They had this like really cute van and they would 285 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 2: like travel together and do like little like like little 286 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 2: shows and stuff like that. 287 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: It was like a TV. 288 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 2: It was a fictitious family but would travel around. It 289 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,079 Speaker 2: was almost like almost kind of similar to like think 290 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 2: like the Jackson five of like this family doing these 291 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 2: like you know, day entertainment like yeah, stuff like that. 292 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: So give you pain and see. 293 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: Opie says, I think you're right that traveling with them 294 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 2: is an absolute no. I shouldn't have gone on the trip, 295 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 2: and personally, I don't remember them being so judgmental and 296 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,320 Speaker 2: thank you. On the subject of telling your husband, Opie said, 297 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,320 Speaker 2: I was going to, but I was worried that he 298 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,719 Speaker 2: might want to talk to their husbands I'm very non 299 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 2: confrontational and was thinking about just apologizing. Thank you, I 300 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 2: will tell him. A commenter said, get a grip on yourself, 301 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,719 Speaker 2: apologize for what, Opie says Lowell. Given the responses, I 302 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,960 Speaker 2: don't think I will be apologizing. I've realized that they 303 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 2: actually owe me an apology, which is a fact. Fact. 304 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 2: Another commenter, who was downvoted says, it does seem a 305 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 2: bit weird to me that these are your friends of 306 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 2: fifteen ish years, and yet you choose to spend time 307 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 2: with them only when it was a group activity. What 308 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 2: it would make more sense to me that you would 309 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 2: want to spend time with them. Go out the three 310 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 2: of you and leave the men behind, or you just 311 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 2: stay behind when the men went out, you surprise them 312 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 2: with massages. Did you arrange it for the three of you? 313 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 2: Or did you just send them off with their husbands? 314 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 2: Did you babysit you booked separate flights Opie's response that 315 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 2: was also downvoted. We did group activities or I went 316 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 2: out with my husbands. The messages were for the three 317 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 2: of us. 318 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 3: No massages. 319 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,679 Speaker 2: Oh sorry, the massages were for the three of us, 320 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 2: so they were all together. No, I did not babysit. 321 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 2: As you said, these are my girlfriends of about fifteen 322 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 2: plus years. I should have offered a babysit without having 323 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 2: to be asked that. Thanks for a different pov les agree. Yeah, 324 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 2: let's talk about that one real quick. 325 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 3: You should not have had to offer to babysit. 326 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: This is your vacation once again. 327 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 2: This is like you have to communicate the expectations even 328 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 2: a side of like everything of like they were like, oh, 329 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 2: did you actually spend any alone time just the three 330 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 2: of you? Did you like offer to help all that aside, 331 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 2: Opie had no idea what they wanted because they literally 332 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 2: didn't communicate it until after the trip. 333 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, and then they got mad about something that they 334 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 3: never brought up exactly. 335 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 2: So it's like the only thing they brought up, which 336 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 2: was also so dumb and stupid, was the drinking. 337 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like. 338 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: It's not Opie's Opie is a childless adult on purpose, seemingly, 339 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 3: and it is not her responsibility to take care of 340 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 3: her friend's children. That's just simply not. 341 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: Her helping out is going above ye, what is requiring. 342 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 3: Angel, It should not be expected of her. And also 343 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 3: the comments are saying like oh, why did you go out, 344 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 3: you know, not with them. They're probably taking care of 345 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 3: their children at night, and she wants to go out 346 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 3: and like get drinks and stuff. 347 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: And Opie did say, did clarify that they did to 348 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 2: group activities for instance of massages, so they did have 349 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 2: like alone time quote unquote of the three of them 350 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 2: spending time together, like the massages that Opie bought and 351 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: set up for the three of them. Like that to 352 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 2: me is like she is still putting time and effort 353 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 2: into their direct friendships with which like that is more 354 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 2: of a expectation if anything, it's like, oh, hey, we 355 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: have friends, what's the past behavior of our friendships. We 356 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: are continuing investing in our friendships going forward. That to 357 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 2: me makes sense, And it's still Opie I think went 358 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: like above. 359 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: Just hanging out. I think it's enough. 360 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 2: But let's get into this next comment comment or ask 361 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 2: for info. Are they breastfeeding and can't drink? Did they 362 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: expect you to only hang out with them the whole time? 363 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 2: Which is a good question on expectations. Opie says, No, 364 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 2: they're not breastfeeding, they just aren't drinkers. To be fair, 365 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 2: I'm not a huge drinker. 366 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: Myself. 367 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 2: I think they were looking for us to have more 368 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 2: time together. You're not a mind reader either, you're not 369 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: a mind reader, and so so what they just get 370 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 2: to control what you do? 371 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 3: And why is the expectation that you have to set 372 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 3: everything up? 373 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: Very true? So true? Yea, so true, Sophia. You have 374 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 2: to eat. I just bought a cow. You have to 375 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 2: eat it. 376 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: You have to. 377 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 2: You want this like friend? You think you respect me 378 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 2: as a friend if you don't eat the. 379 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: Whole cow that I was trying to full a lot. Guys, look, 380 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: I know the cow well too bad. 381 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 2: Like you just need to like bend your whim to 382 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 2: like everything I think that you should be doing. You'll do, 383 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 2: thank you finally you said. 384 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: It, but I'll do for you. So a. 385 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 2: Comments are also asked for or info. What were their 386 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 2: husbands doing to help with the kids? Great feaking question, 387 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 2: she said, the husbands were drinking and you would have 388 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 2: a drink too. Were the husbands doing fifty percent of 389 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: the childcare? Opie responds, no, my friends were doing the 390 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 2: childcare primarily from what I observed. Asked the freaking husband 391 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 2: who have the child? Literally the responsibility on how much 392 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 2: Opie drank? I pass out in my bed after a 393 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 2: night out in heels. We were out to a bar 394 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 2: until one am, and I was exhausted. I only drink 395 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 2: as much as I can handle, which is four to 396 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: five cocktails as my max. I'm a woman in her 397 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 2: late thirties, I have bad hangovers, so I drink within reason. 398 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: My husband, on the other hand, drinks a lot more 399 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 2: than I can handle. I was curious, like, is this 400 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 2: is this a case of like, oh, a bad narrator 401 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 2: and she was actually just getting like super wasted and 402 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 2: like downplaying it. It seems from that Opie understands her limits, 403 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 2: stays within it, and is being a responsible it ults 404 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:04,719 Speaker 2: about it. 405 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think she's made any you know, she's 406 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 3: done anything wrong here? 407 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: I agree, con car but let's get into the update. 408 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 2: Whoa update two days later, piggybacking off the top comment 409 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 2: because there was an issue with posting an update. 410 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: Here's what happens. 411 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 2: I did speak with my friend Mary on text, and 412 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 2: she agreed on the most part. They both had a 413 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 2: problem with me for ages because I invited them to 414 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 2: or only organized adult only events and nothing family friendly, 415 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 2: which isn't true. I was the one who organized her 416 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 2: baby shower. I added both of my ex friends to 417 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 2: a group chat to discuss my feelings throughout the interaction. 418 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 2: No apology for their passive aggressive comments or even acknowledgment 419 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 2: that I tried to be accommodating. 420 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: I gave them better rooms, organized the. 421 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 2: Massages, kept our shared space organized, and made all the 422 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 2: dinner reservations, helped prep snacks, got gifts for them and 423 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 2: the kids. 424 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: What more can she do? Again? What more? 425 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 3: If they want to hang out with op in like 426 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 3: a family friendly setting, organize those events like. 427 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 2: Like they could have said, I feel like during the 428 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 2: trip once it kind of got to this like. 429 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: Breaking point, which is not a breaking point, but like. 430 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 2: This point where they were like, hey, we really want 431 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 2: to do some like hey, let's all go do a 432 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 2: I don't know, a pot clay pot making class together. Yeah, 433 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 2: that's like a family friendly active who can all get 434 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: in on. They got a good top and they're gonna 435 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 2: be like, hey, I know we've been like just doing 436 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 2: like adults dinners and stuff. Can we do one those 437 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,719 Speaker 2: like the kids can do an activity with us? Like 438 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,679 Speaker 2: I bet oh people are fine? Yeah, like sure, like 439 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 2: she she probably would have even offered like hey, can 440 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 2: I be helpful? 441 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 4: Like? 442 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: What can I do? 443 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 2: Like dude communicate? Mary just said that she's sorry that 444 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 2: has come to this, not an apology, and Kate just 445 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 2: ignored me. Even worse, I was so disappointed in these 446 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,400 Speaker 2: women who I thought were my friends. I blocked them 447 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 2: and unfollowed them on social media. I'm gonna share this 448 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 2: red a post with our mutual friends. Who wants the tea? 449 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 2: I told Jake about this. He said, good riddance. I'm 450 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: going to Japan next March and Fiji in December for 451 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,920 Speaker 2: a wedding. Dude travel plans off the chisse Ain. I'll 452 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,639 Speaker 2: be posting on social media with the caption finally a 453 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 2: real vacation subject beef. Thank you for the person who 454 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,199 Speaker 2: suggested that relevant comment to close us out out of curiosity, 455 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 2: commenter says, what did your mutual friends. 456 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: Think about this? PS, You're not the ahole. 457 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 2: Opie responds, I spoke with a few others and they 458 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 2: kind of mentioned that they knew they also got some 459 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,640 Speaker 2: comments on other stuff in the past, so they were 460 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 2: including them to for my sake. I think I will 461 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 2: be fine on the friendship front. 462 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and there you have it. Case closed, case freaking closed, 463 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,919 Speaker 1: so if you love us, make sure to subscribe. 464 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 3: We love you, and Cinema