1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl ill 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, You 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who grew into hymnals 7 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO chariots to keep 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: jim see king told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, 12 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ass is. 13 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: And the ancestor has told me that you would come 14 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,639 Speaker 1: to give wisdom. Thousands They said you would come. Dropping 15 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: Dropping GM Welcome back another episode of the Dropping Gen's podcast. 16 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown, and this is our soft place to land, 17 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: place to explore conscious conversations, to heal, to grow, transform, 18 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 1: and get all the tools for the journey that we 19 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:33,839 Speaker 1: need to become our highest selves. This episode is really, really, 20 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:40,320 Speaker 1: really special to my spirit and I'm very excited today's episode, 21 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,319 Speaker 1: we are going to be speaking with an absolutely iconic 22 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: spiritual teacher and a woman who has poured her life 23 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: over the last few decades into helping people understand themselves, 24 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: understand the links to their childhoods, and connecting behaviors from 25 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: the past to the present and coming into a state 26 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 1: of being an awakened being. Today's guest is clinical psychologist 27 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: and New York Times best selling author, Dr she Fally. 28 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: Dr Shefally received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University, 29 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy. 30 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: She brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. 31 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: She's an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching 32 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: courses around the globe. She has written four books, three 33 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: of which are New York Time bestsellers, including her two 34 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 1: landmark books, The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. Ah. 35 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 1: I am so thrilled for this conversation. Welcome to the show, 36 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: Dr Shefally. I'm so happy to be here. It's my honor. 37 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. It is such an honor 38 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: to have you here, and I have so much to 39 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: talk to you about first, I would just like to say, uh, 40 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: your your first book, The Conscious Parent. It was released 41 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: in two thousand and ten. I think I found it 42 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: right around that time, in two thousand eleven, and it 43 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: is something. And I found that book nearly ten years 44 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: before I ever had children, and I read it and 45 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: it is something that set me even deeper on my 46 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 1: journey and helped me to understand what exactly I needed 47 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: to heal. I had been on the path for quite 48 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: a while, but I didn't understand the link about childhood 49 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: experiences and how much it informs our adult life and 50 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: shapes everything about our patterns. And from reading that book, 51 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: even as a person who was nowhere near being a parent, 52 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: it started me on that reparenting journey and that ability 53 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: to really meet that little me inside and love her 54 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: and grow her. And so I just want to route 55 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: this conversation first and saying I am so grateful for 56 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: your work. I'm so grateful for your existence. Thank you. 57 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: Oh You're such a light. And for those who are 58 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: listening and can't see her, she has this amazing light 59 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: about her. So thank you for having me and for 60 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: honoring the work and being an ambassador. You know, every 61 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: mother who reads The Conscious Parents and my other books 62 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: becomes a spokesperson for this movement. I can't do it all. 63 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,600 Speaker 1: I wrote the book, and of course I have an 64 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: institute and I am constantly teaching around the world. But 65 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: it's mom's like you and voices like you that can 66 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: take this forward. So I appreciate that. And you know 67 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: what I love so much about you know some of 68 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: that route work, especially in your first book. We're in 69 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: this age now where you know, the paradigm is shifting 70 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: and multiple facets of our experience and parenting is coming 71 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: to the forefront in a way that it never has, 72 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:58,679 Speaker 1: and our childhoods are coming to the forefront an ancestral healing. 73 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: We are now just starting to really have these expansive 74 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: conversations about intergenerational trauma, about linear healing UM, and it's 75 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: such a big, big piece of the work I do, 76 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: and in this show, especially as it relates to the 77 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: BIPOD community. So I would just love I would just 78 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: love your thoughts on why is it so important to 79 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: understand early childhood development? How important is that for a 80 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: spiritual journey? Yeah, I mean, sadly, it is the lynch 81 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: fin and it's why do I say sadly, It's because 82 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: most of us were abducted in our childhoods by the 83 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: unconscious um territorialism and terrorism of unconscious parents who were 84 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: abducted in their childhood. So culture is largely unconscious. Culture 85 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 1: is highly marauding, pilageing, and devouring of the essence. And 86 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: the reason culture has become like this, including our parents, 87 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: they fall into that culture. So our childhoods were largely 88 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: raised by in an ambiance of unconsciousness. But the reason 89 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: why culture is so hard for a child's soul is 90 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: because it's become so obsessed with all the things that 91 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: actually our anti child right. Children thrive in the being, 92 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: children thrive in the now. Children thrive in the flow 93 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: of big emotions and simplicity and stillness. None of that 94 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: is accentuated by culture, by modern culture. So modern culture 95 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: sees a child as a product on a road race 96 00:06:54,080 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: to adulthood, and they must collect you know, stones, our 97 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: happiness and success, as if these are little things they 98 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: can put in a bag from the external world. So 99 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: we give completely wrong messages to our children. Never mind 100 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: the messages around racism, around anti sexuality, around um, you know, 101 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: anti diversity, anti equity. I mean, it's like so rampant 102 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: with all the wrong messages for a healthy, thriving soul 103 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: of a child. So then we as children just absorb 104 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: all this toxicity and by the time we're ten years old, 105 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: it's over. It's like game over because now your primary 106 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: voice that's in your in your tape, in your mental tape, 107 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: is negativity, self loathing, criticism, shame, and guilt. So you're 108 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: eleven years old and you're already you know, got into 109 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: therapy for the next thirty years, and now to undo 110 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: those tenures. So yes, if you are on a spiritual path, 111 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: what needs to be done is take your childhood messaging 112 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: very seriously and undergo severe deconstruction. And it's really hard. 113 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: You know why, and you you may know this is 114 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: because what you learned in childhood you now keep repeating. 115 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: So now you go deeper and deeper and deeper, and 116 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: you can't tell the difference. Like I had a session 117 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: with a client, many clients who come to me, and 118 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: they want that eternal validation. We're all looking to be seen, 119 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: we're all looking for mommy and daddy. So they look 120 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: for it in their therapists or they look for it 121 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: in their children. They look for it in their partner, 122 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: so now they are in the pattern of looking for it. 123 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: And the more you look for it, the more you're 124 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: not going to get it because your pattern is to 125 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: not get it right, so you keep bearing yourself. So 126 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: this client came to me and was talking about her 127 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: like seventh relationship, where again she's being invalidated, but she 128 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: doesn't see how she sets it up to be invalidated 129 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 1: because that's the pattern. So it's so tragic. But then 130 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: one day, you know, we can finally wake up and 131 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 1: realize that the love we were looking for all along 132 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:29,319 Speaker 1: was the love inside right. So ah, so full body 133 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: chills and everything that you said. And I know this 134 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: is resonating so deeply with the listeners right now, because 135 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: that is a piece that I think most people just 136 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,679 Speaker 1: want to bypass completely. You know, it's how I need 137 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: to think about younger me. I had to spend two 138 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: years looking at a photo of a younger version of 139 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: me to finally open my heart to really explore that. 140 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: You know, you have to witness yourself and you have 141 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: to see yourself as that version. And it's so challenging 142 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: and and much to what you said, you know, you 143 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 1: then create these self fulfilling prophecies. The patterns repeat as needed, 144 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: these self fulfilling prophecies of continuing to go down the 145 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: same road and not receive what you're really worthy of, 146 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: that you never had a chance to know about yourself 147 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 1: at a younger age. Exactly. So hard to connect, it's 148 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: so hard to connect to that vulnerable piece and that 149 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: broken peace. And yet it is that broken piece that 150 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: is creating cracks after cracks in our lives currently. But 151 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,320 Speaker 1: they show up as the boss, or they show up 152 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: as the child's tantrum, or they show up as the 153 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: weight gain or the addiction. So we can't realize that. 154 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: You know, we're so externally focused. We get distracted thinking 155 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: it's him or horror or that or it, but it's 156 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,959 Speaker 1: really the broken little piece inside us. And it's so 157 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: hard to make that connection, but that us. What awakening 158 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: is is to realize that the driver of our co 159 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: creation is the driver within. That's the epiphany of awakening. 160 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. And I can't wait to talk about your 161 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: latest book, Radical Awakening. Um. But you know something I 162 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: would love if you could kind of really illustrate it 163 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: for those doing the work of self, especially for our 164 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: parents and our moms. Why is parenting so triggering when 165 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: you're in the midst of it, even if you have 166 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: the best set intentions of everything that you may want 167 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: to do differently, Um, I think you very often those 168 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 1: that experienced emotionally immature parents or childhood traumas, you have 169 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: these big, big, big intentions of who you want to 170 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: show as for your kid. And then as you're in 171 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,839 Speaker 1: the midst of parenthood, especially around those toddler years, when 172 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:57,439 Speaker 1: it gets messy, you start to maybe behave in ways 173 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 1: that you don't want to, and then you start to 174 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: develop shame. And why is it so challenging to parents 175 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: even with good intentions? Yeah, good intentions does not make 176 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 1: a good parent, does and the good intentions doesn't do 177 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: anything because the intention is the you know, we always say, 178 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: you know, but what is the intention? Well, the intention 179 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: we all have is to be a good person, right, 180 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: But good doesn't mean conscious or awakened. So awakening means 181 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: to understand what your triggers are and why you're being triggered. 182 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: So our children are going to trigger us because of 183 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: our inner landscape. So children in particular extremely triggering for 184 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: us parents because they in many ways cannot be controlled. 185 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: And we grew up with so much control and suppression 186 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: and oppression that when we confront this being who culture 187 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 1: tells us we should be able to control, but we 188 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: can sense that this is a wild animal. You know, 189 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: it's I mean, we're all animals, but this is a 190 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: wild one. Um. We panic because we have been so 191 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: indoctrinated in this idea around control and were raised with 192 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: the stick and the punishment and the shame and the guilt. 193 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: So now when we face that, you know, that submission again, 194 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: we're like, I can't submit again. You know, I've been 195 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: submitting to my parents and now and we look at 196 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: it as a competition. We look at it as a 197 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 1: who's going to win? And then we we we want 198 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: to overcharge and oversteer and override these little beings because 199 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: that's what happened to us. So we are working within 200 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: this framework of control and shame constantly, and we don't 201 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,959 Speaker 1: realize that our kids are not trying to control us 202 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: there when they say know to us, they're not oppressing 203 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: us when they are yelling or you know many parents 204 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: saying my kid talks back to me, I go, yeah, 205 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: why didn't you chop off that tongue, you know. So, 206 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: but we look at it as such a demolishment of 207 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: our sovereignty. You know why, because we are disconnected from 208 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: our sovereignty since birth. So now whatever a little bit 209 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: we have because of our age that's been we look 210 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: at it as, oh the here's the next abductor, you know, 211 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: here's my next slave master, here's my next task master. 212 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 1: You know, if you look at our lives, we we 213 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: are born to the parent who is our boss. Then 214 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: we have a god who is the boss. Then we 215 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 1: have education and teachers who are the bosses. Then we 216 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: have the boss that you know, work, and we're constantly 217 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: hopping from you know, one authority figure to the next 218 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: and never really reclaiming our hours. So now when our 219 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: kid comes, we project like, oh, now I'm the boss 220 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: of you. But then when we sense that this essence 221 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: is so you know, uncontrollable, we if we can't take it, 222 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: we can't, we just cannot take it because we're already 223 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: operating from such a little sovereignty, you know, mm hmm. 224 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: But our book kids, they're not they're not trying to 225 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: boss us. They have no interest in dominating us or 226 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: domineering us. They just want to be big and safe 227 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: and free. But that's a threat to us, right, Big, 228 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: safe and free is a threat to the modern patriarchy 229 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: and all of us who live in it. Why is 230 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: it so important to see your child as their own, 231 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: authentic being outside of you and outside of the role 232 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 1: they play in your family system? And what is the 233 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 1: thought process behind a child as their own person um, 234 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: not in that hierarchy of age. Yeah. The reason why 235 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: it's important to see our kids as autonomous and sovereign 236 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: is because they are. That is their nature. They are 237 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: biologically connected to us, but in psychological, spiritual terms, they 238 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: are their own. And we mix this up just because 239 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: they're biologically uh, you know, coming from our genes doesn't 240 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 1: mean ownership and control. And when we as parents, as 241 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 1: humans celebrate our own autonomy and sovereignty and we truly 242 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: have arrived at that place where we feel sovereign, we 243 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: will protect the sovereignty of our children. You know, then 244 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: the lioness will come out. You know, then when the 245 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: teacher encroaches on our child, or the pedofile snatches our 246 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: children's innocence, or the partner you know, trespasses their sacred boundaries. 247 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: We will roar, but we will not roar if that's 248 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 1: what we think is normal, because that's what happened to us. 249 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 1: So it's only when we and I say we women 250 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 1: especially reclaim our own power will we protect our children. 251 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: Mm hmmmmmm. Speaking of women reclaiming power, your latest book, 252 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:40,440 Speaker 1: Radical Awakening, is speaking to just that we're having um 253 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: a moment as women, To say the least, I feel 254 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 1: the first time in human history we are really reclaiming 255 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: the matriarchy. We are able to come into sovereignty, and 256 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,199 Speaker 1: we're speaking our truths at a very high level. And 257 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: I know in this moment in time, with everything that 258 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: happened with real versus weight, and it seems like so 259 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: much is being taken from us, but there I feel 260 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,959 Speaker 1: that we are in a very very special time of 261 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: reclaiming our power on a global level. Can you speak 262 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: to that. What is so important about this moment, especially 263 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: as it relates to women and women owning who they are, 264 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: healing their experiences and and coming into this ascended position. Oh, 265 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 1: it's so powerful that we need to that we do 266 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,159 Speaker 1: this work because and so pivotal that we do this 267 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: work because we have given up our power almost passively willingly. 268 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,160 Speaker 1: If we keep looking at ourselves as victims, we will 269 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: not rise. We must look at ourselves as active co 270 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:54,119 Speaker 1: creators off the toxic patriarchy. The patriarchy is not evil. 271 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: Matriarchy is not evil. It's the toxic elements that need 272 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: to be uprooted. But that we are part of that toxicity. 273 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: We are complicit. Now. Are we in a weaker position 274 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 1: in this dynamic, yes, but we play into it. As mothers, 275 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: we raise those sons who then become part of that 276 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: toxic patriarchy, and as women, we are complicit. The way 277 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 1: we are giving up our worth to the cosmetic industry 278 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: is our submission to the patriarchy. The way we compete 279 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 1: against each other is our giving in to the patriarchy. 280 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: You know, everything we fight against in the patriarchy, we 281 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: in our own ways do it to ourselves and to 282 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: each other. Don't you see yourself or I see myself? 283 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: You know? Oh you know I criticized myself based on 284 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 1: the white standard of beauty. I don't need to do that, 285 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,880 Speaker 1: but I do that, So I'm complicit. I get insecure 286 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 1: around I don't but you know, I member getting in 287 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 1: my thirties being insecure around women are to work hard 288 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 1: to celebrate other women and not see them as my competition. 289 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 1: Why was I seeing them as my competition? Because the 290 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:16,960 Speaker 1: modern patriarchy has encouraged that, and we have played our role. 291 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,359 Speaker 1: So we need to support each other. We need to 292 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 1: support ourselves. We need to not go anti aging, we 293 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,160 Speaker 1: need to go pro aging. We need to go pro 294 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,040 Speaker 1: uh self worth, pro women. We need to be pro 295 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,919 Speaker 1: each other like you are doing with me. And I 296 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: see in you, I see a sister. When I look 297 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 1: at you, I'm like thinking, already, how can I honor you? 298 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: She's so beautiful? How can I support her? I'm immediately 299 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 1: inspired by your by your light. I love your light 300 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: and I want to support women who have light. And 301 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: every woman has lights. So we have to support each other. 302 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: When we are bonded and connected and we're together, there 303 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: is no threat on the outside and there's no competition 304 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: from the outside. So we are the ones who have 305 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: undermined our own power. Of course, there is such a 306 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 1: thing as dominance and males having more privilege. But let 307 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: me tell you, if we're brutally honest with ourselves, we have, 308 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: without our realization, given up so much of our power 309 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: as well. M h oh, my god. Ah. The main 310 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 1: way we're giving up our powers that we think we 311 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: need men, you know, we need their loyalty, we need 312 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 1: their fidelity. Then we're upset when they're you know, not 313 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: articulate and not emotional. Yeah, because we're looking for them 314 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 1: to do things that we need to do for ourselves 315 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: and for each other. You know, we we can, we 316 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 1: can spill a lot of our holes on our own 317 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 1: and with each other, and we don't capitalize on each other. 318 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: You know, we don't have sisterhoods in communities. That's why 319 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: I have a whole female community called Luminous, and I 320 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,200 Speaker 1: keep it at twenty five bucks a month because I 321 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 1: want women to support each other, you know, and we 322 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 1: have to connect and rise not against men, but rise 323 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: for each other, for our daughters, for our sons. You know, 324 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 1: this is not against men at all. We have to, 325 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,959 Speaker 1: we have to, we have to. I mean, I know 326 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: everyone listening to this right now is like pow pow pew, 327 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 1: like brain going crazy. And for anyone listening to this 328 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: that's filling some charge right now. I just want to 329 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: invite you to breathe into it. Take a few deep 330 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: breaths in through your nose, out through your nose, because 331 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 1: this is a lot of information to take in, and 332 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: there is so much to begin to be curious about 333 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: within ourselves, you know, within the healing journey or spiritual journey, 334 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: or the journey of ascension and awakening, there are those 335 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: ebbs and flows right Dr Safali where it's like you 336 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: feel so gung ho about your healing, you start to 337 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 1: notice you know where your truth is and notice where 338 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 1: the pain is buried. And then comes the exhaustion, especially 339 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 1: when you start to see how complex and layered it is, 340 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: and especially sometimes when the grief comes in about the 341 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: experiences that you did not give consent for or the 342 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: experiences you wish had been done differently with you. How 343 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: how can one navigate that? Because this is a lifelong 344 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: journey and it is a lot, and everything you just 345 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 1: described is so layered. It almost feels like as women, 346 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: we get it from every conceivable angle, every facet of ourselves. 347 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: There is like an opportunity to cleanse um. How how 348 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: can how can one really keep going on the journey, 349 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: especially when it starts to get into those tougher, shadowy parts. Yeah, 350 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 1: it's really the fact is is that it's really crappy 351 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 1: and women of color, uh, you know, indigenous black, you know, 352 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: intra inter sexual women, the ones on the fringes. It 353 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 1: is really really really angry making you know, and then 354 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,400 Speaker 1: you feel hapless and hopeless. But if we can just 355 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: focus on the now and realize that we are products 356 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: of generations of inequity, generations of unconsciousness, and it takes 357 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 1: a toll. It takes a toll. I mean you and 358 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: I know so many moments where I can see that 359 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: if I was a man, I would be treated differently, 360 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 1: so many moments where I know, I feel it in 361 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 1: my bones. If I was a white woman, I would 362 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 1: be treated differently. I know, if I was an American, 363 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: I would be treated differently. And you know, people can 364 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 1: say it's our imagination, but it's not. And we need 365 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: to validate that really shitty isms are against us, ages 366 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: them sexism, racism, racism being the most deadly, toxic, pervasive cruel, 367 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,959 Speaker 1: and we have to validate that. We have to honor 368 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: that that's shitty, and we're banging into invisible barriers. Honor 369 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 1: that and that pain. Don't bypass it, but with it, 370 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,640 Speaker 1: we cannot give more than what we've already given. Right. 371 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: So if we were already quote unquote, you know, pillaged 372 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: and abducted or raped, you know, so spiritually raped, now 373 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,120 Speaker 1: I cannot give more right. So that's how I operate. 374 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: I go, Okay, you took that. You took that. You 375 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,439 Speaker 1: do that for my generations of ancestors before me, But 376 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: now I'm not. I can't give you my mind. Now, 377 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 1: I can't give you my heart now, but I have 378 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 1: that wealth of information that tells me I don't live 379 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: in a world that is conscious. I don't have to 380 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: be terrified, but I do need to be discerning. I 381 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 1: do need to be on my game because you know 382 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:22,199 Speaker 1: it is a terribly unconscious world. But accepting that is 383 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 1: the place to start to then create change. You can't 384 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: create change through resisting that, because then you're fighting it. 385 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: You have to accept that the world is unconscious. Most 386 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,400 Speaker 1: of the people you meet will be horrifically unawakened and 387 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: really big time assholes. And now, given that truth, what 388 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,679 Speaker 1: do you do with that truth? You don't keep yelling 389 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: while you're an asshole? You go, okay, hello, asshole, right, 390 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: you you welcome it because you you see it clearly. 391 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 1: And then you can make your choice. Do I talk 392 00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,959 Speaker 1: to him or her? Do I do I change him all? 393 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: Or do I leave? But you can't fight it. You 394 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: gonna go. Why are you an asshole? See that's a 395 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,240 Speaker 1: that's a waste of time. It is what it is. 396 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 1: The world is racist, America is racist. It is what 397 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: it is. Now within that you can find your jewels 398 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: of gorgeous awakened souls. But don't hold your breath right dropping. 399 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 1: I think more coming on board and online now probably 400 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: than ever. Something I think about a lot. Dr Shefali 401 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 1: is like, if I was alive two hundred years ago, 402 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have lasted because there would have been no 403 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,160 Speaker 1: one to talk to and you would have been walking 404 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 1: around just trying to preserve. And it just, you know, 405 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 1: something that does feel good. And there is quite a 406 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 1: bit of bypassing spiritual narcissism and a lot of you know, 407 00:27:55,680 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: people learning language that they're not living and embodying. Even 408 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: in that, there are those gorgeous moments where you can 409 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: sink your teeth into true joy and energy to sustain 410 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 1: you through yep yep, yep yep. And that is the 411 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:21,919 Speaker 1: power of you know, abundance and gratitude, surrender, and presence. 412 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: We always have that. You know, people don't make our experiences. 413 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,239 Speaker 1: Our relationship with our experience makes our life right. So 414 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: if we remove the people from the spotlight and dig 415 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 1: and just literally start to create boundaries from toxic people, 416 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 1: then the relationship we have with our present moment comes 417 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: into the highlight. And sadly, many of us have given 418 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 1: up that relationship with our present moment and replaced it 419 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 1: with people. And as long as you replace your own 420 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: connection to your own present moment with people, you are 421 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: now surrendering to their unconsciousness. Right, So you have to 422 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: people are like number five on your list. You know, 423 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: people always say my relationships, and I always clarify because 424 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 1: they think it just means people, because that's how we're conditioned. 425 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: Relationships are not people. Because you have to have a 426 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 1: relationship with yourself. Then you have to have a relationship 427 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: with your present moment. Then you have to have a 428 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: relationship with the sky and earth and nature. Those are 429 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,959 Speaker 1: three good strong relationships. Then you may have it with 430 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: some god. Okay, four, First you have relationships with the formless. 431 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 1: Then you bring in some form and start with children. 432 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 1: Because that you have to have and then optional are 433 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 1: some adults. Right, so if optional adults are number six 434 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 1: on your list, you you have a big buffer. But 435 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: you you know what we do. We put the optional 436 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: adult assholes number one. So then what is Oh my god, 437 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 1: that was just the most gorgeous way I've ever heard, 438 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 1: really the importance of boundaries and how to have them. 439 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 1: It's like, also understand you can have relationships with so 440 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 1: many things about your existence, right, right, people are not 441 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 1: you know, people should not be number one. But we 442 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: don't even know what that means, right, We've we've been 443 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: told relationships that with people and that's the problem. You know, 444 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: you can have dogs and I mean there's so much 445 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: life that is a beautiful dance. But we because we're 446 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: looking for mommy and daddy, we think that that is 447 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 1: found in humans, in in form based males and females. 448 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: But we don't realize that those males and females are struggling. 449 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: They're they're really having a hard time. They don't mean 450 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: to be the way they are, they're just they're like 451 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 1: you you know, I say all of us are beggars 452 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 1: begging for validation. Uh, you know, just because we were 453 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: Gucci or you know, driver of a bush doesn't mean 454 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:08,040 Speaker 1: we're not little children. And that's the problem we don't realize. 455 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: Underneath it all, we're all just hungry children, hungry hungry, 456 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 1: hungry children. For I love that is always talked about 457 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: in a grand way, but feel so hard to be felt, 458 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: or is rarely felt. Yes, and that's how that's our 459 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: only purpose here on earth is to come back to 460 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: self love. I mean, that's it's so simple, but look 461 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: how hard it is. Right we have to go to 462 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 1: Mars deep down and under the ocean, mess up the ocean, 463 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: you know, because we're looking for love, you know, looking 464 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: for love, and we are love. I would love to 465 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 1: talk about your event that is coming October twenty one, Evolve, 466 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: your three days summit. Please share with me about this 467 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 1: epic experience. Thank you so, you know, because I was 468 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,680 Speaker 1: missing a tribe and a community in my own life, 469 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: I created this summit, this gathering called Evolved. It's in 470 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: October this year. After three years of in lockdown, finally 471 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 1: we've opened up again. And if people resonate with my teachings, 472 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 1: then they can join me at Evolved. Because it is 473 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: a room full of people who are like you. Then 474 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 1: who resonate with these kinds of teachings, and my teachings 475 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 1: really help people to reframe the entire paradigm of living 476 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 1: and deconstruct all the the wrong and faulty, toxic misbeliefs 477 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 1: that we have, we have bought into. Because if you 478 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:50,160 Speaker 1: released yourself from what culture has told you, what is 479 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: left behind in the sieve is liberation. And it's so 480 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 1: I was going to say, easy to do. But after 481 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 1: after a few decades, yeah, um, you just have to 482 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: do the work for a few decades. How long will 483 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: it take, doctor Sheefali? You know, I'm like, it's so easy, 484 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 1: you can do it. You can do it. And then 485 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 1: they asked me how long? I go, Oh, for the 486 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:17,480 Speaker 1: rest of your life. He really doesn't mean it's quick. 487 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 1: I said easy. I didn't say it's quick time too, 488 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,640 Speaker 1: you know, but whatever, there's no such thing as time, right, 489 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: But if you keep it as your focus, it becomes 490 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 1: easy and easier. So that's what evolve is about. Is 491 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: about liberation. It's about freedom. It's about empowerment and finding 492 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: worth and returning to self love. So within a community, see, 493 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: that's the key. It's with a room full of people 494 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: like you and me, and that's the beautiful thing about 495 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: these person to person gatherings. It's about being with that energy. 496 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 1: And I can't wait. I hope your audience some of 497 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 1: you will join me. They can go to my website 498 00:33:55,880 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: Dr Shefali dot com, d R schi Fali dot com 499 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: and find the information there. Thank you for mentioning it. 500 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, and I hope everyone everyone has a chance 501 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,720 Speaker 1: to go. And and also all of the books everyone 502 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: needs to go to Amazon at cart there's The Conscious Parent, 503 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: The Awakened Family, Superpower, Transform Anxiety into Courage, confidence and resilience, 504 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: and your latest book, A Radical Awakening. Dr she Fali, 505 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: you are iconic. You are such a mind blowing master 506 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 1: and I am so grateful you exist. And thank you 507 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,480 Speaker 1: so much for joining me on this show. Thank you, 508 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 1: thank you for having me, and thank you to all 509 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 1: of you listening. Thank you so much, Dr Shefali for 510 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 1: this absolutely breathtaking conversation. And once again, if you want 511 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: to connect with Dr Safai, please hit her up on 512 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: I G. We have everything tagged and her website as 513 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,800 Speaker 1: well at the bottom of this episode. Her books The 514 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 1: Conscious Parent, The Awake Family. A Radical Awakening is her 515 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: latest book that is in stores, and you can connect 516 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: with her at her Evolve three Days summit that is 517 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 1: bringing together parents, therapists, transformational coaches all for a weekend 518 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 1: of growth, sharing and learning, all in service to coming 519 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 1: into a higher heightened state of your awareness. So I 520 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 1: hope you will connect with her work share this episode. 521 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:33,239 Speaker 1: There were so many powerful, powerful, powerful knowings um that 522 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 1: we're shared here, so I hope you enjoyed it. Please 523 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 1: take a second if you would, and head to the 524 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 1: Apple page give us that five star rating, leave a 525 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: review if you would. It's so grateful for everyone that does. 526 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 1: And if you have it yet, please check out my 527 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 1: episode of the Breakfast Club. I just had a chance 528 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 1: to go visit Charlemagne, my brother, DJ, Envy Angelie on 529 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: their show and talk all things in my Nation. I 530 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,239 Speaker 1: talked the Sessions Draymond Green, which of course is the 531 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,319 Speaker 1: docu series that I did along with Deepak Chopra that 532 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,200 Speaker 1: is now available on Amazon Prime by Religion of Sports. 533 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,840 Speaker 1: So I hope you guys will give that a watch 534 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,319 Speaker 1: and check out the Breakfast interview on their YouTube. Big 535 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: Love Everyone not a Stama. Hey find me on social 536 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,840 Speaker 1: Let's connect at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram or 537 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,319 Speaker 1: go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And if 538 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,720 Speaker 1: you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts, please please 539 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe and send 540 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: this episode to a friend. Dropping Jims is the production 541 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,399 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio and the Black Effect Network. It's 542 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,839 Speaker 1: produced by Jack Please and me, Debbie Brown. For more 543 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 544 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,720 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.