Speaker 1: Please welcome Talia. We met. She is an author, a
Speaker 1: dating coach, and a matchmaker.
Speaker 2: Hello.
Speaker 1: I hear young people saying that people aren't meeting people
Speaker 1: out anymore because everybody's on the apps, and if you're
Speaker 1: with a group, people want to approach, and they're all
Speaker 1: these different things people are saying. So it's like an
Speaker 1: archaic dinosaur sport and everyone's got their head in their
Speaker 1: phone to meet people out. So I was talking to
Speaker 1: these two young girls, they're twenty six, and they were
Speaker 1: saying like, I said, well, are you seeing people that
Speaker 1: you think are attractive out that you'd like to go
Speaker 1: say hello to? And the one said she would say, yeah,
Speaker 1: are you single? I was like, well, that's a terrible
Speaker 1: in my opinion, I'm not an expert you are, but
Speaker 1: I think I said, that's a terrible opening line. I
Speaker 1: would talk about find some way to talk about business
Speaker 1: to them or something. Because these girls are food reviewers,
Speaker 1: So I was like, you're in a restaurant. You could
Speaker 1: say like, Hi, I'm a food reviewer. What did you say?
Speaker 1: So it gives you an in that doesn't make you
Speaker 1: feel desperate like So I was going to ask you
Speaker 1: how people should handle approach and connectivity out in a
Speaker 1: social space, by a pool, at a bar, at a casino,
Speaker 1: the supermarket, et cetera.
Speaker 3: I love those topics so much because I wrote an
Speaker 3: entire chapter about it in my book, and it's called
Speaker 3: dropping the modern day handkerchief. So women should make the
Speaker 3: first move, and guess what they've always been doing it
Speaker 3: if you look back at the Victorian era. I give
Speaker 3: a little bit of history in my book, like a
Speaker 3: very small amount.
Speaker 1: But what's the book called.
Speaker 2: It's called How to Attract the Right Guy.
Speaker 3: It's on Amazon, but I devote an entire chapter to
Speaker 3: it because there's this whole like, oh, he has to
Speaker 3: make the first move, how he has to come up
Speaker 3: to me, And I'm like, no, we were never doing
Speaker 3: that to begin with. Back in the day, the lady
Speaker 3: would drop the handkerchief when she saw a guy that
Speaker 3: she thought was really cute, and he would pick it
Speaker 3: up in the conversation would start. So, really, women weren't
Speaker 3: always making the first move women. I'm such a huge
Speaker 3: fan and a proponent to women making the first move.
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying, like walking up to a guy
Speaker 3: in sad no, hi are you single? Like that's not
Speaker 3: what we're doing here. No, we're doing the geese. So
Speaker 3: we are calling them in with their eyes, our like,
Speaker 3: our smile, our energy. Like in the book, I talk
Speaker 3: more about it, but I just think that it's so
Speaker 3: simple to tell a guy and signal a guy that
Speaker 3: I am interested in you come over and talk to me.
Speaker 3: And the biggest problem we have now is that when
Speaker 3: a girl likes a guy and they're out at the
Speaker 3: bar or they're at the beach, they'll.
Speaker 2: Like avoid them.
Speaker 3: They're like, oh my god, my god, he's so cud
Speaker 3: cate look at them and it's like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: give him the eyes so that he knows he has
Speaker 3: okay to come talk to you.
Speaker 1: M yeah, the handkerchief. That's brilliant.
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, And it works so well, Like you would
Speaker 3: be surprised how well it works when you make the
Speaker 3: first move and you were just like opening up your
Speaker 3: body language, like square up to him so that he
Speaker 3: knows like you are open.
Speaker 1: And then if if you're giving him the eyes and
Speaker 1: he's not giving it back, like he's not interested, so
Speaker 1: you know anyway.
Speaker 3: Okay, So there's a fun study that says that men
Speaker 3: take up to five times to realize it's for them really, yeah,
Speaker 3: And it's funny because it's true though, because I tried
Speaker 3: this was like ten years ago. I was in London
Speaker 3: and I was in the Henley Regatta and I saw
Speaker 3: this beautiful prince looking guy. I mean he was like
Speaker 3: six or five, blond hair, blue eyes, like typical bridge,
Speaker 3: just gorgeous. And I gave him I dropped the handkerchief
Speaker 3: and I gave him the look and it took up
Speaker 3: to five times, and I remember he was like me
Speaker 3: and I was like yes, and he like came over
Speaker 3: like guys will second guess and they're like.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's no way it's me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a great note too. Look at you full
Speaker 1: of the pearls of wisdom. Because I always say manner
Speaker 1: a little bit on a delay, not being rude, but
Speaker 1: I found this out from a therapist. Certain men are
Speaker 1: on a delay. They don't catch up to what we're
Speaker 1: doing and thinking and saying, even in communication styles right away.
Speaker 1: They don't. They don't know.
Speaker 2: Interesting though, it takes up to five so don't give up.
Speaker 3: He might be taken, like he might be unavailable and
Speaker 3: not be married yet and not have a ring. But
Speaker 3: if he doesn't have a ring on, he just might
Speaker 3: be saying, might as well shoot your shot? Gave him
Speaker 3: the eyes, and if he's single, he will come up
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 1: What about the texting and the phone call and the
Speaker 1: pen pal stage, First of all, it's from in the apps,
Speaker 1: So then you get out of the apps, and I
Speaker 1: have told people I'm not looking for a pen pal.
Speaker 1: Like it's gotten to the point where it's days and
Speaker 1: it's like, what do we do? What are we doing?
Speaker 1: I don't care, Like now you're talking, how's your this?
Speaker 1: Did you go do that? How is your dinner? Nobody cares.
Speaker 1: We don't know each other. Like that's almost like on
Speaker 1: the first day telling someone too much. I don't need
Speaker 1: to tell you how my stake was because we've been
Speaker 1: doing this for three So what's that whole rule? Like,
Speaker 1: how do we how much texting should happen, how much
Speaker 1: phone calls should happen, how much I believe in FaceTime.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should leave the house to go
Speaker 1: meet someone until you've seen their face. That's my personal opinion.
Speaker 1: And matchmakers, I don't think believe that.
Speaker 2: No I do.
Speaker 3: If you were dating on an app and you don't
Speaker 3: have anyone betting on your behalf and thank.
Speaker 2: You, it's you and your phone.
Speaker 3: Do not go out with a complete stranger unless you
Speaker 3: have done any FaceTime.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Amen. You don't understand these twenty six year
Speaker 1: old girls. They're like, they're getting up, they're getting dress,
Speaker 1: they're doing the lashes, they're spending the money, they're going out,
Speaker 1: they're getting in, they go there, They've just some of
Speaker 1: them are calffishing and they're I go, what are you doing? Like,
Speaker 1: you're right, a matchmaker like you is vetting for someone
Speaker 1: You've spoken to them. It doesn't mean it's perfect, but
Speaker 1: it means it's you have eyeballs. You said they're good looking,
Speaker 1: you're being a girlfriend. These girls are going. I was like,
Speaker 1: what it's make it cute, I said, just be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, hey I just got the greatest sushi.
Speaker 1: Let's FaceTime like like throw it in so it doesn't
Speaker 1: seem weird and like a zoom yeah, or just.
Speaker 3: Be like, hey, I'm actually about to get home from work.
Speaker 3: We'd love to see you and chat for a second.
Speaker 3: Are you free, Like just make it like like you said,
Speaker 3: make it where it's not just can you face time?
Speaker 3: Like make it where it's more in.
Speaker 1: Flow, right, not like it's an interrogation that you need
Speaker 1: to vet them. But okay, so let's go through the.
Speaker 2: Text waste face time.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I love that you said that because I
Speaker 1: said that, I think less. I think said that in
Speaker 1: a video or on a live last night, and I
Speaker 1: just said it and no one told me about it.
Speaker 1: But I was like, what are you doing? Oh was
Speaker 1: on here? What are you doing going without seeing their face?
Speaker 1: Like cause you could even get a chemistry match from there.
Speaker 1: It's a lot cheaper to be home and just look
Speaker 1: semi cut with you know, no pants on, because you
Speaker 1: don't have to get dressed and put heels on and
Speaker 1: then don't waste the outfit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it doesn't have to be I think people
Speaker 3: don't realize it doesn't have to be an hour. It
Speaker 3: could be five minutes. Like you can learn a lot
Speaker 3: in five minutes, Like you can say, okay, I'm at
Speaker 3: least physically attracted and there's good energy flow five to
Speaker 3: ten minutes. I mean, if it's really flowing like fifteen minutes, great,
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying it doesn't have people I think
Speaker 3: get scared so are like, oh my god, what if I.
Speaker 2: Get stuck on there just saying like you have a
Speaker 2: girlfriend coming over or.
Speaker 1: No, that's a good note, Just be like, hey, let's FaceTime.
Speaker 1: My friend's coming at five fifteen, but at five o'clock.
Speaker 1: So then it's like, oh, hi, yeah, that's a great Exactly.
Speaker 1: I think that that is something that people are not
Speaker 1: doing and people just need to be doing period the end.
Speaker 3: Yes, And here's the beautiful thing. It builds an investment
Speaker 3: in that person. Because if you were completely strangers and
Speaker 3: you've never met before, and you met on a dating app,
Speaker 3: there's not a whole lot of investment. But if you
Speaker 3: guys met on FaceTime and you're both attracted to each
Speaker 3: other and you both felt a vibe, the likelihood of
Speaker 3: that person ghosting is very minimal, way more minimal than
Speaker 3: having not seen you.
Speaker 2: Before, not having that chemistry flow.
Speaker 1: That's great. So that's an investment. That's brilliant. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: what about the texting to the phone overall? Like, how
Speaker 1: do you drive that traffic?
Speaker 3: Minimal minimal texting before you meet up because you want
Speaker 3: to get to know someone in person.
Speaker 1: No, but how do you know you're getting to the Meeta? Hi,
Speaker 1: how are you? How's your summer going, it's going great.
Speaker 1: Where do you live? I live here? Where do you live?
Speaker 1: I live there? What do you like to do? I
Speaker 1: like to do this. I like to do that. We
Speaker 1: get through the entire like then, okay, what's going on
Speaker 1: this weekend? Nothing? Just going to the beat, like how
Speaker 1: do we You don't want to be a weirdo? Like
Speaker 1: do you want to call me and ask me out?
Speaker 1: Or like how do you move from that thing to
Speaker 1: the next thing? Because you don't want to be a penpal.
Speaker 2: He has to be the one to make the move. Period.
Speaker 3: The biggest mistake I see women make is turn on
Speaker 3: the alpha and being that business person and being like, hey,
Speaker 3: let's meet for coffee.
Speaker 2: It's like, let hell, God, let him ask you out.
Speaker 3: And if he doesn't, he's not the one, Like he's
Speaker 3: just maybe he's not even ready and he's just warming up,
Speaker 3: trying and get his feedback into like the world of dating.
Speaker 3: But like, people know how to do this. It is
Speaker 3: so simple, And if he's not doing it, do not
Speaker 3: ask a guy out because then you're steping, because then
Speaker 3: you're stepping into your maskline and then you're playing the
Speaker 3: mask in the role. We don't want that and it
Speaker 3: also doesn't set the right president for moving forward.
Speaker 1: I love that. So you're saying make the first move
Speaker 1: only in the handkerchief stage. Once you've got the person's attention,
Speaker 1: you retreat and you go back, and they're making the
Speaker 1: first moves from now on. Yes, So that's critical to
Speaker 1: because people will think that you saying make the first
Speaker 1: move means all this, and I agree with you. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's you know, you're saying, give the nod
Speaker 1: and the nuance first, but don't do anything that seems
Speaker 1: like you're the aggressor.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, literally, open the door for him, and if
Speaker 3: he doesn't walk through it, that's on him.
Speaker 2: But your dumb has to open the door.
Speaker 1: So I would say the advice for people to crystallize
Speaker 1: it is, you know, when you've gotten yourself into the
Speaker 1: pen pal stage, you just retreat. Yeah, you just quiet,
Speaker 1: You just go quiet quiet.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Period, you can get the hint and you know what,
Speaker 3: that might put some fire under him to be like okay,
Speaker 3: any to ask girl like she's clearly not enjoying this
Speaker 3: like texting back and forth thing.
Speaker 1: I feel that people that don't have good text banter,
Speaker 1: I find that to be a pink flag. I don't
Speaker 1: people are weird. Like you text them, they text you, hey,
Speaker 1: haw's a day going? You text them back, Then they
Speaker 1: don't text you for another two hours, like you're like great,
Speaker 1: Then you feel like you're dangling and they're like, oh
Speaker 1: I did this, I did that. It was great. Thanks,
Speaker 1: and then like they don't tell like they don't know
Speaker 1: how to text. I don't like that. I find that
Speaker 1: to be like a reflection of them. Do you do
Speaker 1: you agree or disagree? Banter and text? Banter and text
Speaker 1: is it's great.
Speaker 3: However, there are some people we have to remember we're
Speaker 3: not all the same. Some like your perfect match might
Speaker 3: not enjoy texting, and so it's so minimal for him
Speaker 3: because he's the busy guy. But when you're in person
Speaker 3: with him, he gives you that one hundred and ten
Speaker 3: percent he's dialed in. So like, we can't I don't
Speaker 3: think we can flag it, Okay, I think we can
Speaker 3: just say like, oh, it'd be so nice if he
Speaker 3: had good banter and text and we were good at
Speaker 3: texting back and forth.
Speaker 1: But okay, well, I say this because I was seeing
Speaker 1: someone who was long distance. It's not my ex who
Speaker 1: is great, and that's kind of what you had because
Speaker 1: it's still a person that's long distance. I guess you
Speaker 1: could schedule a FaceTime, but then you're getting into like appointments.
Speaker 1: So I feel like if you if texting is a
Speaker 1: part of your relationship, if it has to be, then
Speaker 1: I feel like it has to be fairly good. If
Speaker 1: you're not seeing someone on regularly, if it is a.
Speaker 3: Long distance situation and you guys aren't even communicating often
Speaker 3: enough on text on the phone, then it's just not
Speaker 3: gonna work.
Speaker 1: Right, And where do you stand on long distance relationships?
Speaker 2: By the way, Oh, I don't think they work.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's great. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 3: There is a rare occasion where I hear someone say
Speaker 3: that they move from London to New York for someone
Speaker 3: and they're still married.
Speaker 2: But like, that is one in a million.
Speaker 1: You're saying. There are exceptions to all of these things
Speaker 1: we're saying. Yeah, you're saying, and it can.
Speaker 3: Start off long distance, but it needs to there needs
Speaker 3: to be something within the year of like, I'm happy
Speaker 3: to move, let me just figure out how much time
Speaker 3: it's gonna take me to do that with work and everything.
Speaker 2: But there needs to be a plan within the year.
Speaker 1: Well, that's great that you've said within the year. You
Speaker 1: give people a lot of prescription, Like I'm saying, you're saying,
Speaker 1: it can't be an open ended when the kids go
Speaker 1: to college in five years, because you'll be dead by then,
Speaker 1: the relationship will be dead. But then you'll waste the time.
Speaker 1: So you're saying within the year, you have to have
Speaker 1: a bigger game plan.
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, and especially at the very beginning, like day two.
Speaker 3: If it's long distance, day two needs to be like,
Speaker 3: are you open to relocating? Okay, what does that look
Speaker 3: like for you? Okay, because what is the point of
Speaker 3: falling for someone having crazy chemistry with someone long distance?
Speaker 2: But then no one's even willing to move and no
Speaker 2: one can move?
Speaker 1: Okay? What about alcohol? How many mistakes have you heard
Speaker 1: people make on dates by getting nervous and drinking too much?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you have no idea how many times
Speaker 3: people bomb because they over drink and the nerves are
Speaker 3: kicking in and they're just numbing, you know, trying to
Speaker 3: get rid of those nerves. And I'm like, do breath work,
Speaker 3: because the alcohol is number one going to fuzz all
Speaker 3: your judgment right. And it's also let's not forget that
Speaker 3: drunk chemistry is not real chemistry. I'm most people who
Speaker 3: are drunk can get along with that brainbe okay. But
Speaker 3: if they're completely sober, that's a different kind of chemistry.
Speaker 1: And it's also sloppy and the person could get turned
Speaker 1: off by it, and they can overshare, and they can
Speaker 1: overshare okay.
Speaker 3: Loose lips, too much alcohol, sharing way too much about
Speaker 3: yourself that's relatively private with a complete stranger on a
Speaker 3: first date.
Speaker 2: You know, it's not a good look. It's not good
Speaker 2: for your personal brand.
Speaker 3: It's not good if you're taking dating seriously, learning how
Speaker 3: to be confident without alcohol and showing up on these
Speaker 3: dates with one glass of wine or one cocktail, that's
Speaker 3: that's the right way to go.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about oversharing, Like where is the line you
Speaker 1: know someone's asking somebody else about their divorce or or
Speaker 1: their childhood or things like that. Like is it not
Speaker 1: the things you're sharing but the way you're doing it,
Speaker 1: Like if it's giving desperation or neediness or something like
Speaker 1: how much should you share and not share?
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 3: If you're talking about a first date, this is a
Speaker 3: complete stranger, so just keep in mind you might never
Speaker 3: see this person again. So is this type of information
Speaker 3: you would want a stranger to know about you?
Speaker 2: The answers No, then I would withhold great.
Speaker 1: So it could be not a big deal to you,
Speaker 1: Like you could say something about your childhood or you
Speaker 1: were an orphan or something that is like maybe even
Speaker 1: out there, but you don't mind. But if it's sort
Speaker 1: of like, oh, I stole my boss's car or something
Speaker 1: like that, then you may not want to let somebody.
Speaker 1: So you're saying the line is something that you wouldn't
Speaker 1: want a complete stranger to know if you never spoke
Speaker 1: to them again. Don't tell them tonight, right, Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: And also match people's energy too, Like if you're on
Speaker 3: date five and someone's really ready to be vulnerable because
Speaker 3: they're starting to build that trust with you, and they
Speaker 3: tell you a little bit more about their childhood and
Speaker 3: how they were raised, match that energy, mirrored them and
Speaker 3: say and you share too. And I think that that
Speaker 3: the way vulnerability should work is we shouldn't just trust
Speaker 3: each other from the get go because we're complete strangers.
Speaker 3: It should be like a slow getting to know each other,
Speaker 3: building the trust and sharing more as we get to
Speaker 3: know each other.
Speaker 1: Okay, and let's talk about the energy match. I know
Speaker 1: that you believe in this. This is one of your things,
Speaker 1: So I want to talk about energy match and what
Speaker 1: that means. Because you already talked about rock and Star.
Speaker 1: So it doesn't mean that the rock has to be boring,
Speaker 1: because I in my mind, it's like someone who's somewhat
Speaker 1: solid and balanced and boring, and you're saying, that's not that.
Speaker 1: So it's just that someone's allowing someone else to be
Speaker 1: the peacock. What about the energy match? What exactly do
Speaker 1: you mean?
Speaker 2: So the energy match is your frequency.
Speaker 3: You know when people meet someone other they're like, oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, I loved her vibe, or people say in
Speaker 3: the scene Ageic, I love her energy. That to me
Speaker 3: like someone's energy and frequency. It has to be an
Speaker 3: energetic match. If someone is low vibrational, you know, kind
Speaker 3: of negative, like not really all the time, Like I
Speaker 3: don't really see that person with someone who's like super happy, optimistic,
Speaker 3: go getter always sees, you know, life in a positive way.
Speaker 3: Like I think frequency matches is so important.
Speaker 1: You almost mean literal energy, like someone's like low vibration
Speaker 1: and the other person's active, because that could almost seem
Speaker 1: like rock and rock store, and I think that can
Speaker 1: be confusing. That could almost seem like peacock and not peacock.
Speaker 1: That's why it's confusing to me. You mean like, are
Speaker 1: they both go getters or like what exactly do you
Speaker 1: mean by energy because you don't mean chemistry.
Speaker 3: No, it's just like a frequency of like you know
Speaker 3: when you meet someone and you walk out of the
Speaker 3: room and you're like, wow, that person just like brought
Speaker 3: me up, Like I feel lighter and I feel better
Speaker 3: because they were either really funny or really happy or
Speaker 3: they just had that like that aura around them of
Speaker 3: high vibrating.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I know how to explain it.
Speaker 1: It's just I know what you're saying. You're saying it's
Speaker 1: like playing tennis with a better energetic tennis player, Like
Speaker 1: you always want to play tennis, are the better tennis
Speaker 1: player because it's raising you and not pulling your game down.
Speaker 1: So each person should be finding that person that's going
Speaker 1: to raise their energy game is what you're kind of saying,
Speaker 1: Like it's energetically lifting you up, not meaning like a
Speaker 1: in a gospel church, but meaning like you're just like
Speaker 1: it's good for you, it's elevating you.
Speaker 3: Yes, and you'll notice how you feel when you cause
Speaker 3: I talk about this in my book. Do the self
Speaker 3: check in when you get home from any date, whether
Speaker 3: it's the first date, the tent date, always tap in
Speaker 3: and say how do I feel right now? Do I
Speaker 3: feel bubbly and fun and uplifted or do I feel
Speaker 3: super heavy and a little bit drained. Those are things
Speaker 3: to look out for because your body will tell.
Speaker 2: You if it's mister wrong or wister right.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable because I get that you could sort of
Speaker 1: like someone but like they're droning on and you're just like,
Speaker 1: shut up. You know, how do you deal with that?
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny because you can also be so attracted
Speaker 3: to someone and they're so physically what you want, but
Speaker 3: then you get homeide do a self check and you're
Speaker 3: like like, oh, I don't feel that great, I feel
Speaker 3: really heavy, I feel drinmed.
Speaker 2: But it's so good looking and like it's kind of funny,
Speaker 2: and then you kind of make excuse.
Speaker 1: Us for yourself, but you like, I'm supposed to like him.
Speaker 1: You're telling yourself you're supposed to like him because of
Speaker 1: his packet. That's interesting, But the.
Speaker 3: Energy match isn't there. You know, It's like your body
Speaker 3: will tell you the energetic.
Speaker 2: Match isn't there. You should get home from the date
Speaker 2: and feel good.
Speaker 1: You're the only one talking about this that I've heard,
Speaker 1: So that's amazing. Like it means like it's like you're
Speaker 1: eating food that feels good in your body, like it
Speaker 1: makes you feel good. It's not eating junk food. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what you're saying. It's like emotional junk food. And
Speaker 1: that's a harder one because you could be drinking and
Speaker 1: having a great time, and you could be out dancing
Speaker 1: and distracting, and you're not like when you're gonna be
Speaker 1: with this person for five ten years and you're staring
Speaker 1: at them on a vacation alone. The energy match has
Speaker 1: to be there. So if someone feels like a drag
Speaker 1: to you, or they feel like I have a friend,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of that. When they met, they were in
Speaker 1: their twenties and going to clubs and drinking and having
Speaker 1: fun and going to the Hamptons, and like everybody was
Speaker 1: doing that. So even if people who aren't naturally inclined
Speaker 1: to do that like every but he was doing that
Speaker 1: because they wanted to meet someone. But now that they're married,
Speaker 1: like she has to drag him. He doesn't want to
Speaker 1: do anything or go anywhere. He wants to any you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So he wants to go to
Speaker 1: bed really early, and he's just giving old man vibes.
Speaker 1: And she likes to have fun, so she has to
Speaker 1: find it with her friends and other people. But I
Speaker 1: always wonder if that's good enough, like if your partner
Speaker 1: should be where you find it.
Speaker 3: That's a tough situation because then you're constantly compromising on
Speaker 3: what makes you happy and doing things with your partner
Speaker 3: that makes you happy. So that's really tough, especially how
Speaker 3: long have they been married.
Speaker 1: Years like years and years. And she says he's a
Speaker 1: Jessu drip woof, like she talks to him about that.
Speaker 1: So like that, and I've heard that a lot, Like
Speaker 1: I have friends that are women that are around my age,
Speaker 1: and something kicks in at this age where people want
Speaker 1: to like live. We're like, Hi, this is this is
Speaker 1: also my life. It's not just me being twenty six.
Speaker 1: What are we ordering in for tonight? And we already
Speaker 1: had the kids and they're grown, what the hell is
Speaker 1: my journey? And they're saying to me like he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to do anything, and like they want to live.
Speaker 1: This is happening with more women that I hear, Like
Speaker 1: the women want to live and the men want to
Speaker 1: sit on the couch.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, I haven't heard that.
Speaker 3: But that's tough because if someone isn't wanting to live
Speaker 3: and do fun things and they don't have that in
Speaker 3: them anymore, you know, I don't have the.
Speaker 1: Solution for that, and I don't know that they ever
Speaker 1: did in the beginning, is what I'm saying, because you're
Speaker 1: masking it with the other things. Like so you're saying,
Speaker 1: find that energy match.
Speaker 3: Yes, definitely find that energy match, and also just have
Speaker 3: that transparent conversation with someone like what brings you true happiness?
Speaker 3: Like if your true happiness is to stay at home
Speaker 3: and isolate and order in or have a chef come over,
Speaker 3: whatever it looks like, then you need to have an
Speaker 3: honest conversation with yourself. Is that what my happiness looks like?
Speaker 3: And if it's a no, then that might not be
Speaker 3: a lifestyle match.
Speaker 2: To the aster
Speaker 3: To the after