WEBVTT - Episode 22 - Lauren Alaina (11-15-16) 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:04.360 All right, welcome to episode twenty two of The Bobby 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:07.640 Cast with Me is my friend and I don't use 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.280 that term loosely. Lauren Lena, Hi, Lauren, Hi, Hey, So 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:13.440 I was reading you used to work at CCI's Pizza? 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:16.759 Did the SEC's used to be awesome because you could 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:20.119 go and get the buffet and play the games. But 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.000 the buffet was like a two nine and you could 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:27.120 just go crazy. Now, they didn't have the absolute best pizza, 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:28.920 but that didn't matter because you get to eat so 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:33.040 much of it. Yes, it was people love CC's, guys. 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.559 You do not understand. I used to going to see 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.479 all the time because I could afford it, Like That's 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.080 why I would go to Cecy's. What did you do 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:42.400 at Ceci's Pizza? Dropped pizza on the floor every day 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.320 of my life? I was the worst. I don't know 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:46.479 why they I was just nice to the customers, so 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:48.600 I think they kept me around because I was friendly. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:53.480 Were you a waitress? Sort of? They don't really have waitresses. Um. 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:56.080 I stuck to the buffet and then when people would 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:59.560 like make special orders, I would care, I would carry 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.560 them out. I dropped more than I delivered, honestly, how 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:05.720 long did you work at CC's probably about a year. 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.960 That's a long time. How old were you so, like 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:12.640 your first paycheck job? Yeah, that's called first page. Jobs 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.640 are awesome. I worked there when I auditioned for American Idol. 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.200 That was my job. So as you were auditioning or 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:23.119 as you're waiting, or like you work there until American Idol. Yeah, 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:25.840 well I've never really quit, so I guess I still 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:29.560 kind of worked there. Never resigned now if I need 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:33.119 to go back and learning that. We're just talking about 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:36.640 our spray tans. You you just got here on my 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:39.280 I have a spray tan lady who comes every week. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.679 And I'm telling you got upgrade because you go to 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:47.480 a strip mall plays go away chain, you go to 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.360 it chain. My lady spray the perfectly. She knows like 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:56.040 my armpits. He it's my contours now if I want them. 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.800 I feel cheating though if I do that, because like 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.160 I go to the gym and I work all and 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.600 I feel like if someone paints abbs on me, why 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:05.760 should I even work out? I totally just got abbs 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:07.800 for the first time. Who did it on you? Like 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:10.959 like I didn't? By doing a lot of working out. 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.960 Oh you mean you literally got a Yeah, I mean 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:17.960 they're not like I just have the outer line and 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:20.480 then like the middle line. I don't really the first 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.079 time in a long time, you can see stelling muscles. Yeah, 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:28.280 that's exciting. I'm so excited because and you're shrinking like 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.040 you are ever and again, I actually see Lauren more 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.079 than I see most artists because again Laura and I 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.160 want to Lauren's birthday party last week. I don't go 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:37.600 to parties, I don't go to people. I don't get 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.840 to artist stuff. But like, Lauren's a friend of mine, 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:44.320 and so I've watched you shrink over the best four 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:48.960 months or so. I thinks I'm trying. I'm almost my 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:55.440 goal away, eleven pounds away. What's your goal away? Say? Oh, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.040 you can, but if you can't expect me not to 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:00.560 follow up, it's every bit of a hunt. Your pounds 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:08.680 so pounds great. I'm not where I want to be yet, 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.120 but I feel way better than I did. For sure. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.760 I just, um, I had severe I had an eating 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.920 disorder for a really long time, and I had a 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.760 really bad relationship with food and exercise in any of that. 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:27.920 Um So I got help about three years ago and 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:32.680 I gained like so much weight. I mean, I was, um, 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:38.440 I was pounds underweight. I waged. I'll tell you, I'm 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.080 not going to tell you how much I weighed, but 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:42.000 I'll tell you that I weighed thirty pounds less than 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:43.920 I do right now when I was my worst, like 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:47.839 my sickest, and so I just had to completely give 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.040 up that lifestyle of like dieting or whatever and just 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.280 kind of stripped myself of it. So I gained quite 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.800 a bit of weight. And then I've I've finally got 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.040 into a place where I'm like, I can do this, 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:00.360 and I work out like six days a week. I 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.880 let myself have one day off and I just eat 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.080 really clean. Like of the time. I did not have 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:08.480 any cookie cake. And my birthday party, and you know what, 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:10.240 here's the thing too, it's your birthday party. I was 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.160 waiting for the first person to cut the cookie cakes 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.680 so I can have a being nobody cut it, and 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.360 then we were there and then how to go it? 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:20.239 Did it work? And I never got cookie cake because 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.360 nobody cut the cookie cake and I couldn't be the 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.240 first one to get into Lawrence. Cookie cake you should have. 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.240 So I'm gonna say that. So Amy my co host 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.600 on the morning show, and we've talked about this publicly, 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.520 so she wouldn't care me talking about it. Should blieve 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.560 me for a long time, that's what okay. And so 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:38.920 she would talk about how she actually gained weight while 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:42.039 she had blimia, which it's all different for every person. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.280 You know, when you have eating disorder, it's different every person. 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.359 And you know, for her there were emotional reasons that 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.760 she was doing it, and you know, she's spoken about it, 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.400 and it's brave to talk about it eating disorder. But 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.440 it's also something that I've learned that a lot of 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.760 people go through and because people don't talk about it, 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.840 they feel very alone until someone does talk about it. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:02.200 Have you felt that since you've talked about it, more 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:04.680 people have come out and said thank you so much 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.080 for at least shining a light on something that I'm 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:11.320 going through privately. Yeah, I um, it was really scary 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:16.239 for me to speak out about it, like i'd never, um, 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:18.640 I never. My dad didn't know when I spoke out 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:20.320 about it. My dad did not know that I had 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:21.760 had him eating this. Did you go to him first 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:23.279 and say, Hey, I'm about to talk about this no, 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.680 I didn't because and I normally would, but I was 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.479 just in this interview and they were talking to me 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:34.800 about how I how I seemed so confident and how 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:37.320 they really admire that and what do I do to 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.520 be confident? And I was literally sitting there thinking, oh, 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:42.640 my lord, if you only knew, like, I'm an extremely 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:46.520 insecure person about certain things like when I'm on stage 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.440 or in an interview or in my element, I am 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:52.160 super confident. But if I'm having to try on dresses 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:55.640 for the c m as, that's like a nightmare for me. Um, 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.880 so I was. I didn't want to say, oh, I'm 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.479 like super confident, and it just came him out. I 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.640 was like, well, I have believe mea for five years, 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:08.240 and I almost like I was really sick. I got 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.839 really sick, and that's the only reason I got better. Um, 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:15.200 it's because you said that. And then no, no, no no, no, 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:19.200 oh no, I would have never for admitted it when 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.240 I was sick. What was the turning point? My hair 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:27.440 started falling out because you just were so unhealthy and 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:33.640 I looked sick, and UM, believe me. I mean, you 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:37.440 know it's not it's throwing up your face. So it's 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:39.800 not good for a singer, and it really messed up 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.680 my vocal cords. Um, and I went to the I 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:47.159 was having severe vocal core problems because of lots of reasons. 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:51.080 I never took voice lessons or learned how to properly 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.040 warm up my voice or how to take care of it. 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:56.320 And I was throwing up five times a day or 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.599 whatever I was doing. So it was just And I 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.560 was on American idol where seeing twelve hours a day, 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:03.599 like they just make you saying all day on every 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.840 single So it's just I was young. I didn't I 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.200 wasn't taking care of myself. And it's a muscle, and 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.680 muscles if you don't rest them, if you don't warm 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.680 them up or take care of them, you know, they 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.080 give up. And so I went to the doctor, the 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:22.200 vocal court doctor, and I had lost um like forty 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.520 five pounds from the time I was on idol. Wow, Um, 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.160 I lost like forty five pounds and about two months 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:35.920 because of idol. Do you think and the pressures of idol. Uh, 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:38.160 I hadn't believe me of before I went on idol. 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.880 So it wasn't an idol, but I had only done 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.480 it a couple of times when I would eat really bad. 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:46.360 I got to the point where I was eating healthy, 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.840 healthy food and throwing it. I was like, really, it 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.640 was sad, and I had management at the time that 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:58.040 um put pressure on you that I need to feel 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:02.280 like at that age. But you're a kid, you know. 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:04.120 I mean, you're a kid and you don't listen to 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:06.600 any of the Sometimes I still feel like a kid 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:09.080 and I'm twenty two. You like, it's so weird, Laren. 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.560 Here's the weird thing about you is that I feel 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.840 like you're me, Like I feel like you and I 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.280 can have a conversation because but you're like kids do 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:24.600 the darnest things. It's like you're we're holding out Holy crown. 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:29.000 You're so much older than that, and like conversation and 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:31.679 like person. You are one of the warmest, nicest people. 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:34.080 And I don't warm up to people quick at all. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:36.120 I have that reputation. I don't know if you know, 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:39.840 but I have the reputation I'm not warming up to 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:43.960 anybody ever. But you're so warm and so wonderful. Oh, 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.840 You're just like a pillow of bubble gum. I don't 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.040 want to get in like laying the pillow and into 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:53.680 it all of Yeah, you haven't called a pillow of 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.480 bubble gum. I've never not the first time. I'll never 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.800 forget it. Let me talk about this for a second. 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.119 I've been I go Blue Apron, who's a sponsor of 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:05.480 our podcast here, and so not all ingredients are created equal, 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.839 and high quality ingredients make the best food. So you 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:09.600 want to know where your food comes from Blue Apron, 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.280 I've used it forever. Males come right to your door 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:14.480 and they're in a box and their preportion, and you 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:16.439 cook went home, and you look like a like a chef, 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:18.040 and if you don't tell anybody, look like any even 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:21.000 better chef. And so you cook with incredible ingredients. It 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:24.240 could be you know, Japanese ramen noodles, all right. Where 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:25.920 I grew up in Arganist, we say Raymond noodles, and 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:28.120 I would say that all the time, so do I 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.880 and everybody on the show may fun of me. Listen, 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:36.079 We're from the South, wrong, right, It's not ramen. I 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:39.600 mean it's not, it's not. I know. And I said 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:41.319 that one day and people were like, why are you 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.360 saying Raymond? I went to a lot of accent school, 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:47.280 like I took speech mythology for three years because I 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:50.880 knew that for me to work in broadcasting, I would 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:54.000 never lose all of my accent, but I could lose it. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.880 I don't feel like you have a super strong act 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.280 because you have a super strong accent. That's what I did. 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.200 So do you sound like me? I sound exactly like 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.360 because my eyes were like this and then there's no geese, 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:07.280 all hunting, fishing and eating. Yes, I sounded like you. 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:09.320 So I said Raymond noodles on the yar, and they 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:12.640 gave me the worst time. Anyway, a lot of variety, flexibility. 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.200 It's easy to make. So you can check out and 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.600 get three free meals. And this is something I've had 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.600 trouble with two saying the word meals because I say meal, 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:24.360 I say meal like I don't. I don't differentiate any 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:31.640 of those weird they're the same thing too. And with 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:36.559 this carcial, it's blue Apron dot com slash Bobby Meals 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.160 and you get your first three smales free Bobby meals 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.000 and people would go Bobby m I l s. That's 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:43.480 not right. It's not Bobby mills like a sawmill. It's 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.319 Bobby mules. Never help you with you blue Apron dot 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:50.880 com slash Bobby Mills, and so there is that there, 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:54.040 and so I want to play your song right now, road. 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:55.680 Let's travel, not the whole song, but some of it. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:11:18.439 Here here we go. This is so just going back 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:20.720 to a tweet, and it's actually climbed since you tweeted 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:21.839 this last thing. Did you know where your song is? 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.720 It's the highest ever write a song. But Lauren tweeted 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:30.880 she was you were playing a show and everybody had 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:34.239 their phones up and you were like five felt singles 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.840 and hard work and determination and I've hit the top 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.520 twenty five in country radio. And I was like, holy crap, 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:45.640 I'm so proud of this tweet, and so I retweeted it, 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.480 but I was like, I still remember, I remember it. 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.800 I don't remember tweets. Tweets fly by like a bird 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.319 in the sky. And I was like, I'm so proud 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.160 of you. We spent and I spent a lot of 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.080 time in my life, either here or on the radio 0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:01.120 show or speaking to people and talking about adversity and 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:05.920 how you fail. It all depends on what you do next. 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:11.800 And you wrote it in your tweet, five failed singles, 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:15.800 and you just kept on and now you have a 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.160 song at twenty one and it's still climbing, and it's 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.440 still climbing. I can't believe it. I'm so proud of 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.520 you and proud for you, and so here you are 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:27.920 speak on it. Thank you. I think if I hadn't 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.920 had the first five fail, I don't know that there 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.319 would have been that sixth one, you know what I mean. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:38.320 It's like I um, I feel like until now in 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:42.000 my career, I've always almost been there, you know, Like 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.320 I got second on Idol, I've been up for a 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:50.440 few awards. I won one award like on UM one 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:52.760 of the award shows, but it's not the one. They 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:54.920 don't have it anymore. So it was just like one 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:56.400 of that that's not the best of word to win 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:58.320 on the show that doesn't exist, you know what I mean. 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:02.800 It's like nice just go from Georgia goes to It 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:06.920 was the A M, A C. A S or something 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:09.400 and it was in Vegas. They had it for like 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:16.280 three or four years Best New Artists UM and I 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.880 I don't know, I just feel like I've almost had 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.920 hits and I've almost this, and I almost had that, 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:27.679 and it's always been kind of like I feel. I 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:31.360 feel so encouraged that finally after I would I would 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:35.840 have done another ten years of ten more failed singles 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:37.760 like it. There was never there was never going to 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:39.400 be a point where I was like, Okay, well this 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:44.280 just isn't gonna work. Um, But I just I'm so excited, 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:48.320 and I would go through all of that a million 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.120 times to have pictures like that picture and to have 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.959 a room full of lots like that and people singing 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.679 it back to me and not having to teach it, 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:02.439 like they actually, you're okay, this is how but they 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:05.480 like sing it already. You know, I do this really 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.880 cool broken down part in the middle. I've road. I 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:10.800 like how you call your own part cool. She's like, 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:15.720 it is a baller. It is awesome because that's when 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:17.760 the lights go up, and that's when we have that 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.040 moment of like, oh my gosh, and it's just gotten 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:25.400 better and better, even in the smallest venues or the 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.680 biggest It's like people singing the verse to your song, 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.000 not just the chorus is like the best thing ever. 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:37.040 And I just I'm excited. I've had a crazy few years, 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:40.360 you know, a lot of personal battles and a lot 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.920 of things that I had to kind of sort out, 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.400 and I feel like everything happens for a reason. It's crazy, 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.280 how I mean, at one point I was like, what 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.800 is I've just I've got it wrong. I'm not It's 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:58.000 not gonna happen. And I don't accused just because nothing 0:14:58.080 --> 0:14:59.920 was happening in the right way that you would expected 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.080 it too. Were you just completely confused? Yeah? I mean 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.760 I hate to say this, but I don't can really 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.440 be confusing? Well, yeah, because when you were on it, 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:12.119 it was a huge show. Everybody knew the biggest writings 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.880 ever you were. You came off that super famous, and 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.840 as a kid, when you're super famous, I bet it's 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:20.600 like the world is right here. Yeah, and you're excited 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:25.960 and then your singles don't work and then things don't 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.520 happen the way that you think they're going to. But 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:30.200 it was the best thing that ever happened to me, 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:34.720 I mean, losing those singles and realizing I'm actually not 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:39.200 like important. We're all important in our own way, but 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.160 it I was not ready as a sixteen year old girl, 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.240 or for what I have now. Were you ready for 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.800 Idle and what happened to Yeah? I mean I didn't. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.000 I just try it out for my favorite TV show. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:54.560 You know, I love to saying I love to write music. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.520 It was my favorite show. Where did you audition Nashville? 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.400 So you came? You aren't living in Nashville the time. Now, 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:04.480 I'm from Rossville, Georgia. It's right outside of like Chattanoogas. 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.440 It's about a two and a half hour drive, So 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:08.120 you drive to Nashville. Did you do the thing where 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.640 you waited for hours? Because the show was huge, the 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:15.760 hours and hours and hours we waited. What was your process? 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:19.880 Because I've been to auditions and you go up with 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.920 other people and you three or four people and you 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:23.520 sing in front of the table. Is that how it happened? 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.240 So you horrible and and it's an arena full of 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.840 them and you're hearing a thousand people singing because they 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.560 have booths set up, but all that's separating them is 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.640 like this curtain. And oh my gosh, I was certain 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.920 I wasn't going to make it because in Chattanooga they 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:41.240 have is like Chattanooga Idol, and if you win it, 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.200 you don't have to wait in line. And the guy 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:47.200 who I got like fourth place and then yeah, like 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.240 the fourth or fifth place I didn't even make it 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:55.160 in They're like, isn't that fellars Um? But thanks chattauga 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:59.400 Um the guy who won. I watched him not make it, 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:03.040 like I watched him not make it, and I was like, 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:07.440 that's funny. And I was like, didn't motivate you, no 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.800 at all, not a little bit. I was like crying, 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:12.159 and I was like, I want to go home. I 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.520 was a kid, how old? Yeah. Mom was like, you're not, 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.520 like this is all you've talked about your whole life. 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.560 You at least have to try. You can't. Your mom 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.679 lived you the whole time. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:24.320 because I was a minor, so she stayed with me, 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:27.239 she loved you, and because she's the best. Yes, I mean, 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.199 it really is like the best moment ever. So you 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.040 sing in front of them and they say immediately you're 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:36.440 good or do they go no immediately, And no one 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:38.800 else in my group made it. They called me forward 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:40.800 and everybody else kept sin away, and I was like, 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.960 so what happens then? So then they take you back 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.480 in this room and get all kinds of information from you, 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:49.639 and then you have to go through like three more rounds. 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:55.760 But they just keep like that day it has been. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:59.400 It's it's almost been seven years. I think one more 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:03.920 round that day and then another day. It's like four 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.600 days total before you actually get in front of the judges. 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.520 Whenever you got in front of I'm assuming it was 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:12.480 Simon Paul and Randy. No, I was the first year 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:18.439 after them. Uh it was Randy, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler. 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:22.080 Oh wow, are you on the Jennifer Steven Tyler? Why? 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:23.879 I didn't know that. Okay, so you go up in 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:28.000 your front of do you even know who Steven Tyler? 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.359 It was who I was most excited about. My dad 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:36.000 like raised me on all rock music, So that was 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.440 like the I didn't even care about. I mean I did, 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:44.560 but I was like, and he like, after my audition, 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:46.359 which I didn't know until I watched it, said that 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.240 I was going to win and I was his favorite 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.560 the whole season, And there was like, no nothing cooler 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:54.320 than that for me because I loved him so much 0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:56.240 and I got to sing with him in my audition. 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:59.840 I was dead last. I was the very last contestant 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.240 Nashville to audition, and so I brought my I said, 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:05.320 since I'm last, can I bring my family? Into me. 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:11.320 Stephen's basically what I said, yeah, and so I brought 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:15.680 him in and then my parents song was I don't 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:19.400 want to miss a thing like their love songs there, yeah, 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.440 and so like I sang it with him in front 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:24.520 of him. But you probably at that point, just from 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.600 knowing you you had again even as a kid, established 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:30.720 that confidence in those quick, brief moments and you're like, Okay, 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.240 I'm just gonna be Lauren. Yeah. If I'm on stage, 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:38.240 you're like in any situation where I'm performing in any way, 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:42.360 there are no like, I have no problem. It's that's 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:45.040 a pretty it. Don't take this the wrong way because 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.320 I'm the same way. Like, I'm completely insecure everywhere I go, 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.080 except for when I'm in front of microphone or on 0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:52.440 stage doing stand up comedy or whatever. That's where that's 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.840 the only place I'm comfortable in my own skin. And 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.159 I'm getting better at being human. Like I went to 0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:59.600 your birthday party. I don't like, I don't do social things, 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.040 thank you. I haven't put on a breaking too too, 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:07.960 by the way, he looked red too too. It was 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:12.520 Laurence twenty two birthday to birthday, and I went in 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:13.960 and I was in the elevator with Lauren's dad and 0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:15.840 he was on a camouflage too too, and we were 0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:17.440 going up and I was like, what are those guys 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:19.679 on a camouflage that he made it? My dad. I 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:23.520 watched FaceTime make that too too with a hot glue 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:26.919 gun and like actual like hunting netting. It was like, 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:29.919 you know how they My dad is super southern. I 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.679 don't know you, right, You don't say Lauren, I mean you. 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:36.639 I mean it's you. He's like white works in me, 0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:39.520 Like I don't know where he got that camouflage stuff, 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:42.240 but he was like cutting up this netting, and I 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:46.840 mean it was unbelievable. I'm super crafty. And I was like, oh, Dad, okay, 0:20:46.960 --> 0:20:49.640 well that's where I got it. So we're going up 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:52.600 and this, to me was kind of my favorite part 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:54.239 of your birthday party. Don't you don't care about talk 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:59.199 about your birthday party? Right? Was that? Lauren? She you 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:01.000 have something about you that I don't that I don't 0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:03.040 have about me yet. And it's a struggle for me, 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:06.080 and it's to feel loved. I have a trouble with 0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:08.679 that because I'm very it's very heart beat, vulnerable. But 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:12.200 you were like I feel so loved right now because 0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:16.040 there was a room full of people grown ups, yeah 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:18.320 grown not seven year old that little cousins of yours, 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:21.000 a bunch of grown up that had on two twos 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:25.000 because we all cared about you and you were like, 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:27.919 I feel so and I was just was like it 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.359 was really special for me to see you feel that, 0:21:31.960 --> 0:21:35.879 because I was like, that's awesome. I've actually really struggled 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:41.560 with that too, feeling left, um, my dad's an alcoholic 0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:44.360 and where it was my whole life and and then 0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:46.560 not that I didn't think he loved me, but I 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:50.239 think if you grow up in a home where there's um, 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:53.280 where there are problems, which we all do, but it 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:55.600 affects how you feel as a grown up. And I've 0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:58.879 I've overcome like not feeling good enough and not and 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:01.680 like I take the blame for everything, like I usually 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:06.160 blame myself for everything that happens, um, And I think 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:09.199 that that's something I really worked on and I like 0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:13.120 always especially now that I do this, you know, am 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.399 I I'm a singer and I'm on the road and 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:19.600 I'm gone. I always feel like life goes on and 0:22:19.680 --> 0:22:21.800 I'm not there and I'm not a part of it, 0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:24.160 so people don't think about me and people don't miss 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:25.639 me or you know what I mean, because I'm not 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:29.399 there to know that. And then I've really, I really 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:34.600 got super I had some serious, like emotional problems a 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:36.919 few years ago, right around like that turning point with 0:22:36.960 --> 0:22:40.440 my eating disorder and everything, and I finally had to 0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:43.320 be like people do, like people love me. And that 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:45.880 was a good night for me to have that reminder 0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:51.240 because I don't. I do miss my nephew's birthday party, 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:53.960 and I do miss Thanksgiving and I miss all of 0:22:54.000 --> 0:22:56.400 these things. But that doesn't make my family love me less. 0:22:56.400 --> 0:22:58.199 They know that I'm like not doing that out of 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:01.439 not wanting to be there. And it was just I 0:23:01.440 --> 0:23:02.760 don't get to see a lot of the people that 0:23:02.800 --> 0:23:04.800 were in that room very often. My dad. I never 0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:08.080 see my dad or my aunt came and people drove 0:23:08.119 --> 0:23:09.879 three and a half hours to wear it too too 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:12.320 to be at that party, you know. So it just 0:23:12.359 --> 0:23:14.439 made me feel really good. And I don't get to 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:16.639 be home very often, so it's a super special night 0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:19.000 for me. And we just all like sat in that 0:23:19.080 --> 0:23:22.760 room into days and take pictures and dreamed about eating 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:27.280 cookie cake that got cut way too late, and I 0:23:27.400 --> 0:23:30.480 was there for almost two hours. Never got cut that sucker, 0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:32.960 and I kept walking over to it, Lauren looking at it, 0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:36.080 like has anyone because you can't start the cake cutting. 0:23:36.359 --> 0:23:39.240 You can't. You just can't your birthday and you know 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:42.760 what the best part is my boyfriend. So this is 0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:45.679 gonna be so surprising. The people who decorated that party 0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:49.199 were my boyfriend and my father, the two men in 0:23:49.240 --> 0:23:52.399 my life decorated. It did not look right. Men decorated it, 0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:54.359 did it? It was like, no, it didn't. And you 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.359 were yelling the whole night. You'll never guess who decorated 0:23:57.440 --> 0:24:01.479 death Row. I was like, my dad's made it too too. 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:03.800 What is going on here? Your boyfriend had on the 0:24:03.840 --> 0:24:07.879 Captain America like my dad, and it's like weiner was 0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:10.360 like poking out of it, and I was like, not 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:12.160 not out of it, fully, but it was like so tight. 0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:15.199 It was like tights, you know, people were something on 0:24:15.359 --> 0:24:18.560 trying to take it. I don't know. I was just like, dude, 0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:20.720 he was like, you know what, I'm just here for 0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:22.600 the for the for the birthday party. Well, here's the 0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:24.840 best part of My dad bought that outfit and said 0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:26.560 he had to wear it, and it was like this 0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:30.200 these little bloomers that women get to try to look 0:24:30.240 --> 0:24:35.359 sexy for Halloween, like a sparking too too, So he 0:24:35.480 --> 0:24:38.639 had glitter falling off of him all night. And he 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:41.680 only were that because my dad was like, are you 0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:44.880 scared of deathing my dad? And You're like, oh, I'm 0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:48.080 gonna wear this. Oh my dad is scary. Oh, absolutely 0:24:48.119 --> 0:24:51.919 a scary dad. I mean he like prides himself on 0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:56.199 making boyfriend's fear him. Alex has lasted four years, so 0:24:56.240 --> 0:24:58.560 he's obviously not as scared of him. But Alex really 0:24:58.600 --> 0:25:00.480 respects my dad, and my dad wanted him to wear 0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:02.919 that too too, So you saw he was there in 0:25:02.960 --> 0:25:06.800 that tattoo, and it was it was a great night 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:10.720 for sure. But Alex forgot the candles for the cake. 0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:15.440 For the cake, so they had these like decorative candles, 0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:18.400 battery operated, and I just held one up and pretended 0:25:18.440 --> 0:25:21.959 to boat it out. I wasn't a real candle. That 0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:23.960 was like the part of it. But that's like the 0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:28.080 that's just what it is. It's it's an awesome puzzle 0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:31.639 that happens to somehow fit together. And then it was 0:25:32.200 --> 0:25:33.480 like I had a lot of fun I don't have 0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:34.800 a lot of funny things. I have a lot of 0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:38.320 fun and a little bit I went, you know, I 0:25:38.320 --> 0:25:40.880 went to therapy for a long time. I also come 0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:43.480 from I don't know my real dad. I never knew him. 0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:45.400 He was gone, I was five whatever. My mom died 0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:48.240 of drugs and alcohol um in her forties, and so 0:25:49.440 --> 0:25:52.000 I felt and and have trouble with that too, Like 0:25:52.040 --> 0:25:54.280 I never had a relationship with my parents ever. I 0:25:54.400 --> 0:26:00.960 never had a conversation with my parents, And so I understand, 0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:03.040 and I think that's why it just struck me so 0:26:03.080 --> 0:26:07.199 hard to see you vocally and not like you're just 0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:09.200 someone who feels love all the time. You could tell. 0:26:09.280 --> 0:26:11.760 It was like you're really appreciating the moment. And from 0:26:11.800 --> 0:26:14.119 someone who also struggles with that, I could tell, and 0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:15.840 I was like, this is such a special moment at 0:26:15.960 --> 0:26:19.600 night where I was I'm so happy again. I don't 0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:20.960 know why I get so happy for you. I guess 0:26:20.960 --> 0:26:24.119 because I just genuinely, genuinely enjoy you as as a human. 0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:27.480 Because we've been we've done all I mean, we've done 0:26:27.480 --> 0:26:29.520 a lot of shows. We've done shows, we've written together, 0:26:29.680 --> 0:26:33.199 we've hung out as I'm just happy I'm happy for you. 0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:34.919 I hope you're in a place in your life right now. 0:26:35.240 --> 0:26:37.040 And this is whatever he says to me, and I'm 0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:38.840 said hypocrit for saying this back to you. I hope 0:26:38.840 --> 0:26:40.280 you're in a place right now where you're starting to 0:26:40.400 --> 0:26:44.320 enjoy things. I am trying to let myself. I'm such 0:26:44.359 --> 0:26:47.520 a like a worker, and I get busy, and I 0:26:47.560 --> 0:26:49.240 have goals and I want to meet the goals, and 0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:51.639 I get like so caught up in that it sometimes 0:26:52.080 --> 0:26:56.479 I don't I don't stop to to enjoy it, you know, 0:26:56.840 --> 0:26:59.520 because there's always something else that I'm thinking about that 0:26:59.560 --> 0:27:02.359 I needed doing. And that night I just tried to 0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:04.200 let go of all of that and have a good time. 0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:08.440 And I think that's important because you know, any anything 0:27:08.480 --> 0:27:11.480 you do in life is hard. Any anybody's job is hard. 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:13.879 No one has like the easiest. Well, some people probably 0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:15.920 have easier jobs that born in the money. We weren't 0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:19.800 that lucky. I worked at the c seas dropping the 0:27:19.800 --> 0:27:23.760 pizza listen. I was hobby lobby bobby for many years. 0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:30.840 So so man, that's cool. So what's the goal? What's 0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:32.760 my Don't say number one yet because I could be 0:27:32.800 --> 0:27:35.040 the big what's the next step? Goal? Because I always 0:27:35.040 --> 0:27:37.440 put goals into what's the matter? Like I was talking 0:27:37.600 --> 0:27:39.160 my last podcast, I think I could be the president 0:27:39.160 --> 0:27:41.400 of the United States. Now I do. I swear to God, 0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:44.560 in my mind, I could be the president United States. 0:27:44.880 --> 0:27:47.760 You can laugh all you want, and that's the best part. 0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.800 But whenever I do not want that kind of pressure. 0:27:51.040 --> 0:27:53.160 Nothing Whenever I said I want to be the biggest 0:27:53.160 --> 0:27:57.879 syndicated country morning stual in the history of radio, Like, okay, 0:27:58.200 --> 0:27:59.760 if I didn't have that goal in mind, I couldn't 0:27:59.760 --> 0:28:02.040 never to this point. But I think I can be 0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:03.960 the president. I want to know your big goal and 0:28:03.960 --> 0:28:06.840 I want to know your next step. Okay, like with 0:28:06.920 --> 0:28:09.679 the single what what's the next time? I love to 0:28:09.720 --> 0:28:11.960 write down my goals because I think there's something about 0:28:11.960 --> 0:28:14.680 like writing them down and looking at them and thinking 0:28:14.760 --> 0:28:18.160 it's spending time thinking about him. And probably a year 0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:21.080 and a half ago, I wrote down thirty goals and 0:28:21.200 --> 0:28:24.280 I have literally reached pretty much every one of them. 0:28:24.320 --> 0:28:29.080 I wanted to lose twenty pounds, I wanted to start acting. 0:28:29.320 --> 0:28:32.640 I just finished a movie I wanted. The only one 0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:35.040 I have not achieved is I wanted to be the 0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:38.440 youngest member ever. Um of the Grand A lotprey that 0:28:38.840 --> 0:28:42.080 age stuff and who's who's the youngest member. I don't know, 0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:43.800 but it's not going to be me now because they 0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:47.120 were probably somebody from like the sixties. It was a 0:28:47.160 --> 0:28:51.719 long time. Age stuff. You started signing goals with ages. 0:28:52.080 --> 0:28:53.640 That's where you get into trouble because I used to 0:28:53.680 --> 0:28:55.480 do that too, like I'm gonna be the youngest this 0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:57.640 one because I was always the youngest to do everything. 0:28:58.160 --> 0:29:00.520 And then then you start to get normal and you're like, man, 0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:03.080 I shouldn't have signed age to Yeah, I'm gonna stop 0:29:03.120 --> 0:29:05.920 doing that because then i may reach that goal five 0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:07.760 years from now and I'm just gonna be just as 0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:12.320 excited as I would have been at twenty one, you know. Um. 0:29:12.360 --> 0:29:13.920 But yeah, I definitely want to be a member of 0:29:13.960 --> 0:29:17.120 the grandel Opry. I want, I want. I just was 0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:19.720 thinking about it the other day because, like I said, 0:29:19.720 --> 0:29:21.440 I reached a lot of those goals. I just wanted 0:29:21.680 --> 0:29:24.480 a talk. I think thirty hit that's what I wrote 0:29:24.480 --> 0:29:29.320 on that list. Um, I don't really want to put 0:29:29.320 --> 0:29:30.760 a number on where I want them to go on 0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:32.840 the charts, because some of the best songs I've ever heard. 0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:37.000 Weren't number one absolutely just not just an example, Girl 0:29:37.040 --> 0:29:40.719 Crush never hit number one. I covered that song almost 0:29:40.760 --> 0:29:42.880 every show. It's one of my favorite songs ever played 0:29:42.880 --> 0:29:45.520 on country radio. But it wasn't a number one year. 0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:48.720 The general public doesn't They don't know, they don't care. 0:29:48.760 --> 0:29:51.760 I really don't know. My Church wasn't a number one. 0:29:52.080 --> 0:29:54.080 Such a great song, she Don't Love You, Eric Passley, 0:29:54.120 --> 0:29:57.440 wasn't a number may ever again like one of the 0:29:57.520 --> 0:30:00.000 best things ever probably. Eric came in and we talked 0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:02.640 talked about that, and Eric said the same chair and said, 0:30:03.160 --> 0:30:05.240 you know, I'm just I just love and it's so 0:30:05.360 --> 0:30:08.640 proud of that song that he should be that in 0:30:08.680 --> 0:30:10.560 the end, he was disappointed at first, but it's like 0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:13.160 I put something that I wrote that I felt so 0:30:13.240 --> 0:30:15.360 strongly about and love it, and now I just love 0:30:15.400 --> 0:30:17.880 it. It It doesn't matter where landed on the shot. Well. 0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:22.440 I think my my goal overall moving forward now would 0:30:22.440 --> 0:30:26.040 be in the next like five years, I want to 0:30:26.080 --> 0:30:28.800 be able to headline my own tour, and that does 0:30:28.840 --> 0:30:32.600 not mean but I'd like to be able to do 0:30:33.000 --> 0:30:35.680 probably theaters by myself, and be able to take an 0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:37.920 opener and be able to afford to take an opener, 0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:42.000 and as a woman, I think that there aren't there 0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:45.480 are a few women able to headline and um that 0:30:45.600 --> 0:30:48.160 a rotate background, and you're you're part of that, but 0:30:48.480 --> 0:30:51.120 I don't, so I'm not the same. It's going to 0:30:51.240 --> 0:30:53.560 rotate background. Well, I think, you know, with people like 0:30:53.640 --> 0:30:56.840 Kelsey and Marin and Camp. I mean there are lots 0:30:56.840 --> 0:31:00.280 of women that are now kind of starting to help 0:31:00.560 --> 0:31:02.880 turn that for all of the rest of the women. 0:31:02.920 --> 0:31:05.120 I think if there are a few of us that 0:31:05.160 --> 0:31:07.520 are really doing well, people will be more up into 0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:11.000 it because people think that at some point, I heard 0:31:11.000 --> 0:31:14.600 someone say that country fans or radio listeners don't want 0:31:14.600 --> 0:31:17.440 to hear women. That is so false. It's not there 0:31:17.520 --> 0:31:21.000 was one listen at that time. No, No, here's the thing. 0:31:21.400 --> 0:31:23.840 At that time, this was what the article was. And 0:31:23.840 --> 0:31:28.600 I've always been a huge but what happened was directly 0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:32.240 from a program director. But yes, that at the time. 0:31:32.960 --> 0:31:38.720 What's happened is is that record labels over the past 0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:41.440 five years, they've seen what people have been buying, and 0:31:41.480 --> 0:31:45.800 so because that everyone's copying the same sound and that 0:31:45.920 --> 0:31:48.360 sound has been successful, they're like, we don't need to 0:31:48.360 --> 0:31:51.000 develop a minor league, and that minor league a lot 0:31:51.040 --> 0:31:53.840 of times female and male and different kinds of So 0:31:53.880 --> 0:31:56.760 they just completely neglected anything but the current, the current 0:31:56.800 --> 0:32:00.520 cold sound, and now that sound is dying and everyone's 0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:03.120 trying to transition out of it, even those that created it. 0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:05.760 And at the time when that was said, even when 0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:08.400 and listen, most program director knock weds, they really are 0:32:08.600 --> 0:32:10.520 you don't, don't don't. You're not in this car. This 0:32:10.560 --> 0:32:14.280 is me talking most programmed directors and knock weds um 0:32:14.440 --> 0:32:16.320 and they still hold on to things that it was 0:32:16.320 --> 0:32:20.640 twenty years ago, it was ten years ago. But everything 0:32:20.720 --> 0:32:25.640 is cyclical in life, everything from close to music to 0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:30.240 movies and what they're about. Everything is always changing, I mean, 0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:34.040 and everyone has their different opinion on why it should 0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:36.880 or should it be changing. That's just the way life goes, 0:32:37.080 --> 0:32:40.480 you know. It's like everything no one. Everyone isn't always 0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:42.400 going to be happy, and everyone is always going to 0:32:42.480 --> 0:32:44.160 think the way you think. So that's the hard thing 0:32:44.200 --> 0:32:48.000 about getting music out there is not everyone likes it, 0:32:48.200 --> 0:32:51.040 you know, and it's your art and they just won't. 0:32:51.160 --> 0:32:53.600 It's just I don't like every song I hear. Ever, 0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:58.640 if you do anything creative, great if you do anything creative, 0:32:58.680 --> 0:33:01.280 that's great, you're gonna have some people that hate it. 0:33:01.320 --> 0:33:04.600 Because to be completely loved, you have the people that 0:33:04.680 --> 0:33:07.120 love you so much. They love you for a reason, 0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:08.800 and that same reason, they're gonna be so many people 0:33:08.840 --> 0:33:10.760 that are like, I just can't stand this, and to 0:33:10.880 --> 0:33:13.840 be great, you've got to accept that a large faction 0:33:13.880 --> 0:33:16.080 of people just do not get what you're doing. They 0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:17.720 don't have to get what you're doing. They do not 0:33:17.840 --> 0:33:20.920 like what I struggle with this me too, so bad. 0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:24.480 I want I loved him like. I'm a people pleaser, 0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:27.360 and I don't like when people when people don't like me, 0:33:27.440 --> 0:33:30.440 I can't handle that. I'm not a people pleaser. I 0:33:30.480 --> 0:33:32.520 can't handle people not liking me. You're the one, and 0:33:32.560 --> 0:33:36.040 you're very likable, and thank you. That's not always the case. 0:33:36.160 --> 0:33:38.320 You think that, but some people don't. It's not like 0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:41.280 it really bothers me. Why they don't. I wonder if 0:33:41.320 --> 0:33:44.480 they think you're an act. I don't know. I feel 0:33:44.520 --> 0:33:48.280 like I'm pretty straightforward. I don't feel like you ever 0:33:48.320 --> 0:33:50.320 have to get what I'm thinking. I agree with you, 0:33:50.400 --> 0:33:52.000 and I tell you. One of the one of the 0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:56.920 moments when we first started to kind of be friendly was. 0:33:57.400 --> 0:33:58.800 I had you come out and do a show with 0:33:58.880 --> 0:34:01.000 us in Hot Springs, Arkansas, and there are about four 0:34:01.000 --> 0:34:02.920 thousand people that came to our show that night, and 0:34:02.960 --> 0:34:04.800 I didn't really know Lauren that well. Lauren came off 0:34:04.840 --> 0:34:06.800 stage and I don't know if you remember saying this 0:34:08.160 --> 0:34:11.160 and no, no, no at the stage. Listen, you were 0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:15.120 so self defer, also putting me down while no no, 0:34:15.200 --> 0:34:17.439 while being complimentary at both of us at the same time. 0:34:17.640 --> 0:34:20.240 But it was the most honest thing that I've ever heard. 0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:22.399 And that's when I knew that, like, you were for real. 0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:27.920 And you came off stage and you were like because 0:34:27.960 --> 0:34:30.799 we and you say, like, it's crazy because we get 0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:32.960 to go to theaters and and sell at theaters as 0:34:32.960 --> 0:34:38.320 a crazy little band, and it's it's amazing. It's amazing. 0:34:38.440 --> 0:34:39.960 You want to talk about me every single day on 0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:43.480 your show, you can. It's love to do that. So 0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:45.680 we go and we played this big show in Arkansas 0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:49.759 and Lauren opens and she comes off and she goes, Hm, 0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:53.440 I'm a really good singer and I can't sell fifty 0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:56.000 people in a bar, but you can sell this. And 0:34:56.040 --> 0:34:58.960 I thought to myself, She's like, this is so honest. 0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:03.320 She's a really good singer, and she's also being self deprecating. 0:35:03.360 --> 0:35:06.839 I'm like, I can't sell a room right now, and you, 0:35:07.080 --> 0:35:12.800 who are not a good singer, you can do this. 0:35:13.160 --> 0:35:17.600 I'm so dumb. I can't believe I loved it. And 0:35:17.640 --> 0:35:20.520 that's when I realized, Okay, she's the real deal because 0:35:20.520 --> 0:35:22.560 she just said exactly what was on her mind and 0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:24.680 in her heart right there, and that's all I care about. 0:35:24.960 --> 0:35:27.319 Like I just in this industry, you just you can't 0:35:27.320 --> 0:35:31.000 trust people until you can trust them. The general feeling is, 0:35:31.040 --> 0:35:33.920 don't trust anybody until you can trust them, and then 0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:35.520 you can, then you have to latch onto those people. 0:35:35.640 --> 0:35:37.520 It's like in life. Don't trust people until you know 0:35:37.560 --> 0:35:40.239 you can trust them. That's why I feel now me 0:35:40.320 --> 0:35:42.680 I have again, I don't want I don't warm up quickly. 0:35:43.200 --> 0:35:46.360 I have very few people over to my house. Um, 0:35:46.520 --> 0:35:48.799 you know, at my old place. Until we started doing this, 0:35:49.280 --> 0:35:51.000 you weren't the only people I would have over because 0:35:51.000 --> 0:35:52.520 you would come what we wrote a song for the 0:35:52.560 --> 0:35:55.600 kids album together, Um you know we come over, we 0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:58.480 do slip and slide. That was fine, Uh, there's no 0:35:58.520 --> 0:36:02.000 slip and slide. But I like your honesty, and I 0:36:02.040 --> 0:36:04.200 hope people hear you and realize it's not act. There 0:36:04.200 --> 0:36:05.680 are some people where it's act. I know it, I 0:36:05.719 --> 0:36:07.879 get it, and I'm fine with it because I don't 0:36:07.920 --> 0:36:09.640 have be friends. Everybody just come on the show and 0:36:09.680 --> 0:36:13.000 do a good job and let's entertain and you're and 0:36:13.040 --> 0:36:15.960 you're a lot too. I think that's why people don't 0:36:16.000 --> 0:36:17.840 like me is because I have such a strong person, 0:36:18.080 --> 0:36:23.040 very strong um and I think I'm very opinionated, and 0:36:23.080 --> 0:36:26.680 if I feel strongly about something, I can sometimes be overbearing, 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:29.839 probably and people that don't have to save opinion don't 0:36:29.920 --> 0:36:32.719 like that. But I think people but I'm understanding that 0:36:32.800 --> 0:36:35.040 people don't have the same views of me. I just 0:36:35.840 --> 0:36:38.720 I don't know. You put me down in that statement. 0:36:38.760 --> 0:36:40.759 But I enjoyed it because it was so honest. Like 0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:43.520 I like honesty more than I like being coddled. I 0:36:43.600 --> 0:36:46.480 like on even with every way that I work, I like, 0:36:46.680 --> 0:36:48.440 let's get a point A to be the fastest. Do 0:36:48.520 --> 0:36:50.719 not codd on me, do not come in and go, hey, 0:36:50.920 --> 0:36:52.719 you're doing great at this, but let's talk about Like 0:36:52.800 --> 0:36:54.359 if we have something bad to talk about, let's get 0:36:54.440 --> 0:36:56.080 right to it. Because I want to be the best, 0:36:56.120 --> 0:36:59.600 the fastest way. Don't come and use little soft gloves 0:36:59.600 --> 0:37:02.120 on me and work. My bosses know this too. If 0:37:02.120 --> 0:37:04.520 there's a problem, come right to me with the problem 0:37:04.520 --> 0:37:06.440 and let's fix it, because I don't need to be 0:37:06.560 --> 0:37:09.399 all you know what. I don't like that either, No, don't. 0:37:09.960 --> 0:37:13.680 You're not the comy get passive. We might not agree, 0:37:13.760 --> 0:37:15.440 but we're going to talk about it. I don't like 0:37:15.480 --> 0:37:18.040 passive aggressive either. I'm not a big fan of that. 0:37:18.080 --> 0:37:23.920 I'm just gonna I'm aggressive aggressive. You're aggressive aggressive, I'm 0:37:23.920 --> 0:37:26.080 gonna tell you right, man. And I just think some 0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:27.960 people don't operate that way. And those are the people 0:37:27.960 --> 0:37:30.880 who were like, oh, she's too much. Did you and 0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:33.560 Scotty McCoury every day while you're on that show? Do 0:37:33.600 --> 0:37:35.040 you know they made that a whole story, like, oh 0:37:35.040 --> 0:37:36.680 my gosh, yes, and they taught us to play along. 0:37:36.800 --> 0:37:40.520 Oh they did, No, I know, listen, I know how 0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:43.160 TV works. I produced TV shows myself. Well, they just 0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:46.239 told us to use it to our absolutely because love 0:37:46.320 --> 0:37:48.239 that we they thought we loved each other, and we 0:37:48.320 --> 0:37:51.640 do well. I mean, we're friends, but there's nothing like 0:37:51.800 --> 0:37:56.080 romance now, I don't know, no, not really, hold on, 0:37:56.840 --> 0:38:00.800 hold on WHOA. Maybe did you guys your kids remember 0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:03.000 your kids and if you're together and around another kid 0:38:03.080 --> 0:38:05.719 who's also has the same interest, you probably have like 0:38:05.920 --> 0:38:08.080 minds and you like each other. Was there a time 0:38:08.080 --> 0:38:10.160 where you guys were kind of like boyfriend girlfriend? We 0:38:10.200 --> 0:38:12.799 were never boyfriend and girlfriend, but I think there was 0:38:12.840 --> 0:38:14.800 like this weird moment where I was kind of thinking, 0:38:14.840 --> 0:38:19.200 should I like him? Kissed him? Oh? I kissed him 0:38:19.239 --> 0:38:21.680 at the finale on the cheek and the angle looked 0:38:21.680 --> 0:38:23.840 like I smacked him right on the lips, and like 0:38:23.920 --> 0:38:28.200 that was this whole story. But um no, I mean 0:38:28.239 --> 0:38:30.880 we spent a lot of time together, but it was 0:38:30.920 --> 0:38:34.480 never romantic. You know, it's like we're just if you 0:38:34.520 --> 0:38:37.480 know him and you know me, were very different human beings, 0:38:38.120 --> 0:38:41.759 like total I think we're total opposites on a one 0:38:41.800 --> 0:38:44.400 to ten scale. How do you guys ever talk now? 0:38:44.960 --> 0:38:49.640 On one to ten scale? Often we talk? Two? Yeah. 0:38:49.760 --> 0:38:53.640 One that picture that I posted I think might have 0:38:53.640 --> 0:38:57.040 been in a Raleigh and he was his friend there 0:38:57.360 --> 0:38:58.799 and he texted me and said HeLa had a lot 0:38:58.840 --> 0:39:00.480 of friends the show and that that it was a 0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:03.400 great shop. So we I mean, we'd communicate in that way, 0:39:03.440 --> 0:39:05.680 but do I call him once a week and see 0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:08.600 how he's doing. Now, I don't, do you call me 0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:15.520 more than him? Yeah, I definitely talked to you more 0:39:15.560 --> 0:39:17.760 than I talked to you. Yeah. I haven't seen Scotty 0:39:17.800 --> 0:39:22.040 in a while either. Yeah, I haven't seen him. I mean, 0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:24.439 and he doesn't does he didn't live here? Does he? 0:39:24.440 --> 0:39:26.319 He does not lives in North Carolina? He lived here 0:39:26.360 --> 0:39:27.920 for a second, Yeah, I think. And you know what 0:39:28.000 --> 0:39:30.480 that hurts an artist who's new and if you're not 0:39:30.560 --> 0:39:35.120 available all the time, it's definitely to your disadvantage. Well, um, 0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:38.520 I think it's different for everyone. I'm obviously not super 0:39:38.560 --> 0:39:42.800 far away from home, which I never go home, But um, 0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:46.880 I moved out of my parents house age, so you 0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:49.960 moved where. I got an apartment in Chatanooga, and then 0:39:50.280 --> 0:39:53.080 after idle, you didn't move stright to Nashville. So I 0:39:53.120 --> 0:39:55.960 did a six month plan where I lived by myself 0:39:56.160 --> 0:39:59.520 fifteen minutes away from my parents while I figured it out, 0:39:59.760 --> 0:40:02.880 and and I moved right when I right after I 0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:05.120 turned eighteen. When you come to Nashville, what do you 0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:10.239 learn immediately? Um? Gosh, I've learned so much. And the 0:40:10.480 --> 0:40:12.160 first thing that you get to Nashville. You probably top 0:40:12.160 --> 0:40:13.799 of the world, like I'm about to dominate. I just 0:40:13.840 --> 0:40:17.680 come off a huge TV show. But Nashville people just 0:40:17.760 --> 0:40:20.680 as they're ten people around you, just as talented as 0:40:20.719 --> 0:40:23.000 you in any room, at any time, at all times. 0:40:23.120 --> 0:40:28.120 It's crazy, right, Yeah, it's like it's really it really 0:40:28.160 --> 0:40:30.080 makes you step it up and figure out what about 0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:32.160 you is different in what how you need to showcase 0:40:32.239 --> 0:40:35.279 that because we're all different. But there they're talent. They're 0:40:35.280 --> 0:40:37.920 just as talented in a different way. It's crazy. You 0:40:37.960 --> 0:40:41.440 can walk down Broadway, which is the street that the 0:40:41.520 --> 0:40:43.920 tourists come to, and there will be people playing bars 0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:48.000 and they sound so good. Yeah, and you're like, what 0:40:48.080 --> 0:40:50.160 the why are you? Why aren't you in a bar? 0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:52.160 But then you go to the next bar and there's 0:40:52.200 --> 0:40:55.840 somebody that sounds so good. It's a very talented town 0:40:56.000 --> 0:41:00.719 from the bottom to talk. I mean, it's there's no 0:41:00.800 --> 0:41:05.680 lack of talent in this town. It's and it's inspiring. Really. 0:41:05.760 --> 0:41:08.600 It for me made me want to get better because 0:41:08.600 --> 0:41:11.480 I was like, oh no, like for a long time, 0:41:12.160 --> 0:41:15.960 as confident as I am in rights and stuff like that, 0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:18.680 I felt really insecure and like I didn't need to 0:41:18.680 --> 0:41:21.000 speak up because I was working with people who had 0:41:21.000 --> 0:41:25.040 written hits after hits and we're super successful, and people 0:41:25.080 --> 0:41:27.640 that I've just dreamed of being as talented as and 0:41:27.680 --> 0:41:29.719 now I'd go into those rooms with those people and 0:41:29.760 --> 0:41:33.080 I understand that if you're if you don't do your thing, 0:41:34.080 --> 0:41:37.080 you have no voice, you know, and and as talent 0:41:37.120 --> 0:41:39.440 as that, you use their talent to help your talent. 0:41:39.640 --> 0:41:43.120 And look at you being all adult and knowing you've 0:41:43.120 --> 0:41:44.680 been to the struggle. It doesn't matter what age you are. 0:41:44.719 --> 0:41:46.480 After you go to the struggle, the struggles where you 0:41:46.640 --> 0:41:52.160 learn gosh, yeah, I mean, yeah, I had I had 0:41:52.200 --> 0:41:56.240 a lot. I wasn't. I've just recently gotten to this point. 0:41:56.440 --> 0:41:58.040 Um in the last probably a year and a half, 0:41:58.080 --> 0:42:02.000 two years. Uh, you do realize, right, I know. I 0:42:02.160 --> 0:42:05.000 forget that a lot. People tell me all the time, 0:42:05.560 --> 0:42:08.040 like I'll be so frustrated about something, or I'll be 0:42:08.040 --> 0:42:10.600 disappointed in myself because I didn't make the rat choice 0:42:10.719 --> 0:42:14.240 or whatever, and they'll say, you remember that you're twenty two. 0:42:14.560 --> 0:42:17.759 And then when people say that, I really don't, Well, 0:42:17.800 --> 0:42:19.600 you've been at it for a long time. I really 0:42:19.640 --> 0:42:21.680 don't think of myself as people my age, Like when 0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:24.560 I talk to people that are my age that I 0:42:24.640 --> 0:42:27.760 meet that I don't realize in my age, I become 0:42:27.800 --> 0:42:30.000 like a mentor or something where I'm like, well, you 0:42:30.080 --> 0:42:32.799 just have to, but not in not in a way 0:42:32.800 --> 0:42:35.080 of me trying to tell someone what to do, just 0:42:35.120 --> 0:42:39.239 in a way of like, yeah, I started years I 0:42:39.280 --> 0:42:42.200 think it danced. I would yeah, I would think that, 0:42:42.239 --> 0:42:44.759 Like I feel like you're older, like I can have it, 0:42:44.800 --> 0:42:49.040 but I'm I can be super amature, absolutely absolutely two 0:42:49.080 --> 0:42:50.880 in a lot of ways. I agree with that in 0:42:50.880 --> 0:42:54.280 a lot of ways. But I mean I have birthday 0:42:54.320 --> 0:42:57.920 parties where everyone has to wear two tis. So just 0:42:58.040 --> 0:43:00.000 answer quickly with this. I want to. I want to 0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:03.040 an immediate answer. Who do you write with where you're like, Wow, 0:43:03.040 --> 0:43:08.520 this person is fantastic Emily wise band because she's my 0:43:08.600 --> 0:43:12.399 age and she's unbelievably talented, And a lot of people 0:43:12.440 --> 0:43:14.239 that I write with that are as talented as her 0:43:14.840 --> 0:43:18.520 are ten years older than her and have been designing 0:43:18.520 --> 0:43:22.160 that craft and perfecting that craft for ten more years 0:43:22.160 --> 0:43:24.760 since she has. And that's been inspiring to me because 0:43:24.760 --> 0:43:26.799 we are the same age. And if I'm looking at 0:43:26.800 --> 0:43:30.400 someone twenty three, if I'm looking at someone that's that age, 0:43:30.440 --> 0:43:33.319 and she's that talented, and she's able to mold to 0:43:33.360 --> 0:43:36.120 whoever or whatever artist she works with or whatever she's 0:43:36.160 --> 0:43:38.719 doing at the time like that, I want to I 0:43:38.719 --> 0:43:40.680 want people to feel that way about me. You know 0:43:41.080 --> 0:43:43.359 what artists do you look at and it go man, 0:43:43.640 --> 0:43:49.359 that's what I want to be. None, Okay, go ahead. Um. 0:43:49.400 --> 0:43:51.440 I mean, I'm inspired by lots of different people, but 0:43:51.480 --> 0:43:53.920 I think we're all unique in our artistry is all different. 0:43:54.040 --> 0:43:56.719 I don't I don't want to limit myself to what 0:43:56.800 --> 0:43:59.680 someone else has done. I want to be like my 0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:02.440 Now that sounds stupid, but there's no wrong answer, and 0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:04.560 nothing sounds I mean, there are a lot of people 0:44:04.600 --> 0:44:07.800 that I look up to, like Dolly Parton. I love 0:44:08.320 --> 0:44:12.960 that she's gotten her hands on everything she can, I mean, 0:44:13.080 --> 0:44:16.400 and and she is a businesswoman, and she's smart, and 0:44:16.480 --> 0:44:19.960 she's a songwriter and she's written songs for other people, 0:44:20.480 --> 0:44:24.160 and she's just done such a beautiful job with her 0:44:25.560 --> 0:44:29.160 artistry and everything around that. And if I could, like 0:44:29.480 --> 0:44:32.240 really look up to someone, I would never own probably 0:44:32.280 --> 0:44:35.799 an amusement park. But I love how she's done other 0:44:35.880 --> 0:44:38.960 things with her gifts and her talents and and the 0:44:39.000 --> 0:44:42.160 opportunities that she's been given, but I don't. There's not 0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:46.200 one artist that I like desire to be just like, 0:44:46.560 --> 0:44:49.439 because I think that we all have different when you start, 0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:51.680 I think when you start wanting to be like someone else, 0:44:51.680 --> 0:44:53.160 like I've spent a long time wanting to be a 0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:56.200 lot like Carrie. She and I are completely different human 0:44:56.200 --> 0:44:59.239 beings and we have completely different ways we do things. 0:44:59.320 --> 0:45:02.560 And while we're both like really powerful singers and we 0:45:02.680 --> 0:45:08.480 sing songs were similar, our styles aren't the same. But 0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.840 people think of us as the same just because because 0:45:11.880 --> 0:45:14.719 you're the A plus vocalist. That's the only reason I 0:45:14.760 --> 0:45:18.239 feel bad to say that. I mean, I'm not saying that. 0:45:18.280 --> 0:45:21.320 I'm thank you, but people compare us a lot because 0:45:21.320 --> 0:45:23.359 she's I've been compared to her a lot because she's 0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:26.000 a strong singer, and I used to do that a 0:45:26.040 --> 0:45:29.360 lot to compare myself to her, and it like it 0:45:29.440 --> 0:45:31.360 made me feel like I wasn't good enough, you know. 0:45:31.400 --> 0:45:34.439 It made me feel like I'm never gonna be carry 0:45:34.480 --> 0:45:37.279 Underwood and I'm not. I don't. I'm gonna be Lauren 0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:39.400 Elena and what I do is not gonna be what 0:45:39.520 --> 0:45:42.080 Carrie did and not gonna be what Dolly did, or 0:45:42.440 --> 0:45:45.879 anyone that I adore and love, and I think they've 0:45:45.920 --> 0:45:49.080 done a great job. It just inspires me too. I 0:45:49.120 --> 0:45:51.680 don't want to do exactly what they did. I just 0:45:51.760 --> 0:45:54.360 want to look and see if you work hard and 0:45:54.360 --> 0:45:58.600 you're talented enough, and you believe it, and you try 0:45:58.600 --> 0:46:01.440 as hard as you can and sacrifice what you have 0:46:01.480 --> 0:46:03.520 to sacrifice and still take care of yourself along the way, 0:46:03.560 --> 0:46:05.360 you can have what you want. You just have to 0:46:05.400 --> 0:46:08.239 stick it out. You know who in the industry do 0:46:08.320 --> 0:46:12.520 you go to for advice? Oh, Tricia McClanahan. She's my 0:46:12.600 --> 0:46:15.520 manager and she managed her but for a really long time, 0:46:15.680 --> 0:46:22.560 like twenty years with her husband. She managed. She actually 0:46:22.600 --> 0:46:25.640 managed Kelly Clarkson for a while, and she I mean, 0:46:25.760 --> 0:46:28.160 she's just been a manager for a really long time. 0:46:28.560 --> 0:46:31.600 But she is the most connected human being. I mean 0:46:31.800 --> 0:46:35.400 anywhere we go. We can go to the Kroger on 0:46:35.680 --> 0:46:39.080 Eighth Avenue and Trisia will run into fifteen people in 0:46:39.160 --> 0:46:42.239 town that I know who she is because she cares 0:46:42.239 --> 0:46:45.200 about what she does. She knows how important it is 0:46:45.239 --> 0:46:47.879 to maintain relationships in Nashville and to be a good 0:46:47.920 --> 0:46:49.840 person and to care about what you do and be 0:46:49.880 --> 0:46:53.560 passionate and she took me on when I had nothing 0:46:53.600 --> 0:46:56.600 to offer her. When when Tricia decided to work with 0:46:56.600 --> 0:47:00.760 me we started working together two years ago, people probably 0:47:00.800 --> 0:47:03.759 thought she was dumb. I hadn't had a record out 0:47:03.760 --> 0:47:07.319 in four years, three years, whatever it was. Then I 0:47:07.520 --> 0:47:10.879 just had vocal cord surgery. I could not sing. When 0:47:10.880 --> 0:47:13.760 she started working with me, I was not singing yet. 0:47:14.480 --> 0:47:17.720 But we just clicked and I told her my goals 0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:21.719 and she understood them and has helped me achieve every 0:47:21.840 --> 0:47:23.759 We sat down and made that list together, and she 0:47:23.800 --> 0:47:27.319 has helped me achieve every goal on that list and 0:47:27.360 --> 0:47:29.640 now wants me to make a new list. And so 0:47:29.760 --> 0:47:33.200 she's just that person that has like really she I 0:47:33.200 --> 0:47:35.640 would say, you know, lots of things have changed in 0:47:35.680 --> 0:47:38.239 my career in the past two years that I've started 0:47:38.920 --> 0:47:42.680 helping me to be in this different position that I'm 0:47:42.680 --> 0:47:45.319 working on now, and I think that a lot of 0:47:45.320 --> 0:47:47.640 it has to do with her, Like I owe her 0:47:47.800 --> 0:47:51.200 so much because she on days when I was like, 0:47:51.239 --> 0:47:54.560 I can't do this anymore, this isn't gonna work, she believed, 0:47:54.760 --> 0:47:58.320 And days when I was like I can't, I can't 0:47:58.360 --> 0:48:01.920 do another free show and pay for my rent. I 0:48:02.000 --> 0:48:06.000 can't because people think you're like rich if you if 0:48:06.000 --> 0:48:08.200 you're an American, people think you're rich. You're not rich. 0:48:08.320 --> 0:48:11.080 Did you make money off at all? Very little? Really? 0:48:11.280 --> 0:48:13.880 And I mean yeah, well I made more money than 0:48:13.960 --> 0:48:16.279 I thought. I was mega rich, but I didn't have 0:48:16.320 --> 0:48:19.640 any good spending habits. I grew up super poor. So 0:48:19.760 --> 0:48:21.719 when I first got money, I spent all of it. 0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:23.680 I gave it all away. I gave it. I would 0:48:23.680 --> 0:48:26.640 go to dinner with my family and buy thirty people's dinner. 0:48:26.840 --> 0:48:29.200 I mean, I was just like and then all of 0:48:29.239 --> 0:48:33.440 a sudden have anymore. And I had a manager still 0:48:33.520 --> 0:48:37.080 a lot of money from me. Um, which I I've 0:48:37.080 --> 0:48:42.440 never spoken out about. But how do you find that out? Though? Well? 0:48:43.840 --> 0:48:45.640 When I had vocal coret surgery, I had to clear 0:48:45.719 --> 0:48:49.479 my schedule for six months. And I have never talked 0:48:49.520 --> 0:48:55.160 about this before. Do you want to not? UM? I 0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:58.399 can tell you it's fine. UM, I probably want talk 0:48:58.440 --> 0:49:02.120 in detail. But UM, anyway, I'd scared. I'd cleared my 0:49:02.160 --> 0:49:06.759 schedule and this person had an American Express card in 0:49:06.840 --> 0:49:10.080 my name under my business and would use it to 0:49:10.120 --> 0:49:14.040 book travel or whatever needed to be booked. And I 0:49:14.080 --> 0:49:18.080 got a call about two weeks after surgery, I had 0:49:18.120 --> 0:49:20.799 been in bed, I had not left the house. I 0:49:20.840 --> 0:49:23.560 wasn't able to speak for an entire month. That is 0:49:23.640 --> 0:49:25.799 torture for me. So I was not going to go 0:49:25.840 --> 0:49:29.080 out into the world and try to do that. And 0:49:29.440 --> 0:49:32.640 I got a call from my business manager and said, hey, 0:49:32.680 --> 0:49:35.000 we've had to clear the schedule for six months. I 0:49:35.080 --> 0:49:37.319 just want you to be mindful of that. You don't 0:49:37.360 --> 0:49:39.239 need to be spending a ton of money. We just 0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:41.560 got a statement for this month, and and I was like, 0:49:42.480 --> 0:49:47.120 I haven't spent any money. I've been home and my 0:49:47.200 --> 0:49:49.719 mom was taking care of me and bought everything for 0:49:49.800 --> 0:49:53.480 me at that time. And so I looked into it 0:49:53.640 --> 0:49:59.120 and it was four years worth of charges. And I 0:49:59.200 --> 0:50:02.160 was a kid. You didn't notice it until you were 0:50:02.480 --> 0:50:05.760 a kid. Yeah, I was a sixteen year old girl, 0:50:06.360 --> 0:50:08.759 and so it was like three years of charges. I 0:50:08.800 --> 0:50:13.399 guess because I worked with that person for three years. 0:50:13.840 --> 0:50:16.879 That happens to a lot of kids, kids who come 0:50:16.960 --> 0:50:19.520 from a background where they even their parents don't know 0:50:20.040 --> 0:50:21.920 to watch because I, like, you had no idea what 0:50:21.960 --> 0:50:24.879 to do with money. Yeah, I mean, I have great 0:50:24.880 --> 0:50:27.920 spending habits now, but it's because I've learned it as 0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:30.560 an adult on my own, like, there are two kinds 0:50:30.600 --> 0:50:35.440 of people that and I now am able to have money. 0:50:35.719 --> 0:50:39.400 I've worked hard, and when I first started, I remember 0:50:39.560 --> 0:50:42.279 the first time I was making fifty dollars a year. 0:50:42.440 --> 0:50:44.920 I was like, oh my god, I'm so rich because 0:50:44.920 --> 0:50:46.600 when where I grew up, we were food stamp and 0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:48.560 welfare and lucky to have it. We didn't need three meals. 0:50:48.560 --> 0:50:49.719 We had too. We get to pick with two of 0:50:49.760 --> 0:50:52.160 the three most of the time, so it was you 0:50:52.200 --> 0:50:58.279 pick the I was in the school program, and so 0:50:58.320 --> 0:51:01.080 it was I wanted it, and I still have a 0:51:01.080 --> 0:51:03.000 bit of this in me now, and I shouldn't. I 0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:06.839 felt I felt guilty. So and then you're either really 0:51:06.880 --> 0:51:08.520 generous when you come from that and you get money, 0:51:08.600 --> 0:51:11.960 or you're really stingy because of how you grew up. 0:51:12.560 --> 0:51:14.200 And so I was generous because I was like, man, 0:51:14.239 --> 0:51:16.680 people took care of me. I definitely get on a 0:51:16.760 --> 0:51:18.960 Christmas tree and let everybody just come and pull out. 0:51:19.800 --> 0:51:21.719 I mean, seriously, my mom was like, Lauren, you have 0:51:21.880 --> 0:51:23.680 got to stop giving your money away. I would take 0:51:23.680 --> 0:51:26.680 all of my friends to the movie and just pay 0:51:25.400 --> 0:51:28.480 for because I felt bad that I had money. And 0:51:28.520 --> 0:51:31.160 they didn't. It's a guilt thing. Yeah, it is. And 0:51:31.520 --> 0:51:35.160 whenever I got a business manager, which is someone who 0:51:35.200 --> 0:51:37.640 manages the money, and because I have like five or 0:51:37.680 --> 0:51:40.720 six different businesses from like books and music and touring, 0:51:41.200 --> 0:51:43.160 and she was like, listen, we had to talk because 0:51:43.200 --> 0:51:44.960 I don't know anything about money. Like I don't know 0:51:45.080 --> 0:51:48.400 anything about money. I just hire great people. And she 0:51:48.480 --> 0:51:50.880 was like, listen, here's the thing that you do. And 0:51:50.920 --> 0:51:54.160 she told me, you have to stop overpaying your bills 0:51:54.800 --> 0:51:57.040 because what scares me is I think any day I'm 0:51:57.040 --> 0:51:59.360 gonna be fired and lose all my money. And I 0:51:59.400 --> 0:52:01.239 can over my bills like ten bucks a month. I'll 0:52:01.280 --> 0:52:03.080 have a buffer for a couple of minds that I 0:52:03.120 --> 0:52:06.120 can use God for me. It won't be a problem 0:52:06.120 --> 0:52:08.040 in poor Agan because I know how to do it. Yeah, 0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:12.839 Like that's what I'm actually good at. Like I'm good 0:52:12.880 --> 0:52:16.359 at Hamburger helper with no Hamburger. Like I'm I'm good 0:52:16.360 --> 0:52:20.839 at man with a light spaghetti with catch up. Yeah, 0:52:20.880 --> 0:52:24.759 I'm good instealing the packets from Burger king to put 0:52:24.760 --> 0:52:29.560 the spaghetti on the catchup. So I man, it's like 0:52:29.600 --> 0:52:31.719 I'm talking like a mirror. I'm listening to you, and 0:52:31.719 --> 0:52:33.600 I'm just like, man, I feel it. And I think 0:52:33.640 --> 0:52:35.440 that's why whenever we were together and you said that, 0:52:35.480 --> 0:52:37.600 I was like, man, it was like I just felt 0:52:37.640 --> 0:52:41.680 all those emotions and understood and not sympathize, because I 0:52:41.680 --> 0:52:44.319 do not feel sorry for you, but I empathized. I 0:52:44.440 --> 0:52:48.000 understood even the love thing you should feel serve me. 0:52:48.960 --> 0:52:52.200 I do for you period, because I think through all 0:52:52.239 --> 0:52:55.279 of this adversity, it makes you stronger, you know more, 0:52:55.400 --> 0:52:59.480 and most importantly, you can help other people. That's been 0:52:59.520 --> 0:53:01.680 the best hard about this new music. It's when I 0:53:01.719 --> 0:53:03.759 mean my parents, my dad's an alcoholic and you went 0:53:03.800 --> 0:53:06.680 to rehab, and then my parents got divorced and my 0:53:06.719 --> 0:53:09.280 mom married a family friend, and like, my dad married 0:53:09.320 --> 0:53:11.480 someone that's eight years older than me. And it was 0:53:11.520 --> 0:53:14.360 just like all of these things. At Vocal Court Surgery, 0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:17.840 my manager stole that's money from me. I was super 0:53:17.840 --> 0:53:20.520 famous and then I wasn't. I mean, I just had 0:53:20.560 --> 0:53:23.600 all of these things that made me go, what are 0:53:23.719 --> 0:53:28.680 you doing with your life? And I wrote gosh, two 0:53:29.000 --> 0:53:33.360 d songs for this album and really decided what I 0:53:33.360 --> 0:53:35.120 wanted to say and what parts of my life I 0:53:35.120 --> 0:53:36.879 wanted to share and what parts I wanted to keep 0:53:36.880 --> 0:53:39.520 to myself and what I thought could be helpful and 0:53:39.560 --> 0:53:44.480 what couldn't. And Um, I spoke out about my bolimia 0:53:44.560 --> 0:53:46.879 and my dad and that was scary too, because that's 0:53:46.880 --> 0:53:48.719 not my story. It's part of my store, but it's 0:53:48.719 --> 0:53:51.279 also his. So I'd have like all these conversations with 0:53:51.320 --> 0:53:53.440 my family and say, as a songwriter, I've got to 0:53:53.440 --> 0:53:55.319 be honest and can you guys let me do that? 0:53:56.040 --> 0:53:58.360 And it's been a process, but I have songs about 0:53:59.440 --> 0:54:01.720 my parents divorced. I have this song called doing Fine 0:54:02.080 --> 0:54:04.840 that I opened the record with that is super like. 0:54:04.880 --> 0:54:09.319 The first lines of the song are, um, daddy at 0:54:09.360 --> 0:54:13.160 sober Mom, I got his best friend. And that's my story. 0:54:13.360 --> 0:54:17.880 And it's really cool because I do. I do those 0:54:17.920 --> 0:54:21.720 songs live and I do. I sing road Less Traveled 0:54:21.719 --> 0:54:24.520 about my eating disorder and about overcoming that and ignoring 0:54:24.560 --> 0:54:26.919 people who don't get it and ignoring the people who 0:54:26.920 --> 0:54:30.280 are like, you can't do this, you can't do that. Um, 0:54:30.320 --> 0:54:32.200 you need to be smaller, you need to be prettier, 0:54:32.280 --> 0:54:33.920 you need to be smarter, you need to be this, 0:54:34.080 --> 0:54:36.000 you need to be that. Those people don't matter because 0:54:36.000 --> 0:54:39.399 they don't already get it. You're already there. And that's 0:54:39.440 --> 0:54:41.920 been the coolest thing with this new music. And I 0:54:41.960 --> 0:54:44.600 feel like maybe that's why it's doing better than anything 0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:47.759 I've ever had, is because I was finally honest. I 0:54:47.840 --> 0:54:50.840 was finally telling the truth and people. It makes a difference, 0:54:50.880 --> 0:54:54.400 and it makes me better. It makes me a better person. 0:54:54.760 --> 0:54:57.680 When I'm singing these things and I'm singing about my problems, 0:54:57.719 --> 0:54:59.759 it makes me want to fix my problems more. When 0:54:59.760 --> 0:55:02.000 I realized that other people have these problems and we're 0:55:02.040 --> 0:55:04.600 all kind of we all have our own thing going on, 0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:07.680 you know. I learned that too when I shared my problems. 0:55:07.760 --> 0:55:10.160 I realized I wasn't the only one that had them, 0:55:10.280 --> 0:55:14.520 because I don't want people to know, because then you're 0:55:14.600 --> 0:55:20.480 all of a sudden, the weirdo that has the problems, 0:55:20.680 --> 0:55:24.640 you know, but everyone has problems, everyone like. And that's 0:55:24.640 --> 0:55:28.080 what doing fun is about. The chorus of that song 0:55:28.160 --> 0:55:32.440 is super universal, versus are specific, very specific to my story, 0:55:32.480 --> 0:55:35.600 and I just think that's the truth. I mean, no 0:55:35.680 --> 0:55:39.360 one's perfect. There's only been one perfect person, so the 0:55:39.400 --> 0:55:41.239 rest of us aren't going to be that. You know. 0:55:42.640 --> 0:55:46.160 We paused to talk about sleep number beds. I love sleep. 0:55:46.960 --> 0:55:48.560 I don't get very much of it. Then you should 0:55:48.560 --> 0:55:51.120 get a sleep number bed. I have two of them. 0:55:51.600 --> 0:55:53.239 You've heard me talk about my sleep number bed and 0:55:53.239 --> 0:55:55.600 how it's changed my life. And my sleep number setting 0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:58.359 us thirty. My sleep I could score last night was 0:55:58.680 --> 0:56:01.319 I don't know, eight or something. You check your phone. 0:56:01.640 --> 0:56:03.279 You're good. I'm gonna do a commercial. Check your phone? 0:56:03.320 --> 0:56:07.319 So texted? You? Are? You obsessed with your text methages? What? 0:56:07.360 --> 0:56:11.520 How may do you have? Like five? You're so You're 0:56:11.560 --> 0:56:16.839 so cool, You're so cool. Listen, my friends that sleep 0:56:16.920 --> 0:56:19.080 number have created a sleep number pillo. It's a comfort 0:56:19.120 --> 0:56:21.920 fit pillow. I have two of them. It's the perfect 0:56:21.920 --> 0:56:24.120 combination of comfort and support. And it stays the same 0:56:24.120 --> 0:56:25.720 way whenever you go to sleep. You like your pillow 0:56:25.760 --> 0:56:28.640 a certain way, it stays that way. It is super comfortable. 0:56:28.640 --> 0:56:31.960 It's a comfort fit pillow. My sleep number setting is thirty, 0:56:32.000 --> 0:56:33.680 and my IQ score I don't even know. I think 0:56:33.680 --> 0:56:35.839 it was the Hyades. But listen the comfort fi pillar. 0:56:35.880 --> 0:56:38.560 You get a sleep number store and get one by 0:56:37.640 --> 0:56:41.160 one off eight D next bed to find the store 0:56:41.200 --> 0:56:44.560 nearest to wait a second? What it tells you how 0:56:44.560 --> 0:56:46.800 well you slept? Oh, this is not part of the commercial. 0:56:46.880 --> 0:56:49.000 Let me tell you about sleep in bed. First of all, 0:56:49.000 --> 0:56:51.000 you go into the store, right, and you lay on 0:56:51.040 --> 0:56:54.759 the bed and I'm like, okay, come on, I I've 0:56:54.840 --> 0:57:02.799 had decent bed, but come on an hotel on the road. 0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:09.680 So I go into the store and you lay in 0:57:09.719 --> 0:57:12.120 this bed and it's a computer screen on top and 0:57:12.120 --> 0:57:14.440 it shows you your body laying on the bed. I'm like, kay, 0:57:14.560 --> 0:57:16.400 this is not a lie. And it's a computer screen 0:57:16.400 --> 0:57:17.760 at the side, depending on the store, and it shows 0:57:17.760 --> 0:57:19.160 your back in your neck and your head and where 0:57:19.160 --> 0:57:21.439 it's and they're like, oh, here's why when you lay 0:57:21.880 --> 0:57:24.560 you're not getting your full support. So they adjust the 0:57:24.600 --> 0:57:26.880 bed your your sleep number, and I was like, this 0:57:27.040 --> 0:57:28.960 is crazy. And so I got one of the first 0:57:28.960 --> 0:57:30.640 one like five years ago, and so I got to 0:57:30.640 --> 0:57:33.080 sleep number. And then now they have sleep by a que. 0:57:33.120 --> 0:57:34.640 So it's like you eat at seven pm and you 0:57:34.680 --> 0:57:36.840 don't sleep as well, You'll see your number and you 0:57:36.840 --> 0:57:38.520 can kind of figure out like when I eat, like 0:57:38.640 --> 0:57:40.720 my number is not as good when I work. I'm 0:57:40.760 --> 0:57:44.920 telling you, expence, it's not that crazy, considering we have 0:57:44.960 --> 0:57:47.160 computers and know what we're doing, and but you just 0:57:47.160 --> 0:57:49.920 don't ever think about your bed. But think about your bed. 0:57:49.920 --> 0:57:51.920 It's where you spend the most time. Like for me, 0:57:52.120 --> 0:57:54.720 time the most time at work in the bed. Could 0:57:54.720 --> 0:57:56.840 you sleep? And even if I'm not sleeping, I'm in 0:57:56.880 --> 0:57:58.520 bed and I have crazy anxiety, So I just lay 0:57:58.520 --> 0:58:00.320 in bed a lot and just stare at the two too. 0:58:00.800 --> 0:58:05.160 But like, I'm trying to come off a medication and 0:58:05.160 --> 0:58:07.880 I'm having with draws a bit, like and I had 0:58:08.120 --> 0:58:09.680 um I talked to us in the last podcast, Like 0:58:09.720 --> 0:58:11.560 I was on sleeping pills for a long time. And 0:58:11.600 --> 0:58:13.000 I've never had a drink of our care done a 0:58:13.040 --> 0:58:15.400 drug because my mom died of it. So it's my 0:58:15.400 --> 0:58:18.160 whole life. I just decided never gonna do it. Nothing moral. 0:58:18.440 --> 0:58:20.400 One day, I'm gonna drink and I'm gonna go crazy. 0:58:20.400 --> 0:58:21.920 I'm gonna I'm gonna love it. I know it. I'm 0:58:21.920 --> 0:58:23.960 gonna love it. You're waiting for your moment, but I 0:58:24.000 --> 0:58:27.080 just haven't. Right now. You know, I can't take it. 0:58:27.160 --> 0:58:30.320 I can't take it. I don't don't admire it because 0:58:30.440 --> 0:58:33.440 I it's not an admirable thing. It's I can't control it. 0:58:34.360 --> 0:58:39.680 I just know that if I start, you would drink 0:58:39.680 --> 0:58:43.600 one would be the best part is you would have 0:58:43.720 --> 0:58:47.959 no tolerance anything you ever really clean last style as well, 0:58:48.000 --> 0:58:49.840 and you work out so like your body would be 0:58:49.880 --> 0:58:52.240 like what, I go to the dentist and get laughing gas. 0:58:52.280 --> 0:58:53.880 I have to said the thing for an hour because 0:58:53.880 --> 0:58:55.920 I can't stay. It doesn't clear out of me. I 0:58:56.000 --> 0:58:58.760 just sit there. So I get on sleeping pills because 0:58:58.880 --> 0:59:01.040 my anxiety is crazy. My heartbeats through my neck right, 0:59:01.120 --> 0:59:04.160 it's like hard and they can't control it. So I 0:59:04.480 --> 0:59:06.720 got off of them and I just stopped called turkey 0:59:06.720 --> 0:59:09.160 and I went to convulsions and vomiting for days, and 0:59:09.200 --> 0:59:11.240 like it was the first time I understood what my 0:59:11.320 --> 0:59:13.560 mom couldn't get through and she was on harder drugs. 0:59:13.600 --> 0:59:15.040 I was like, for the first time in my life, 0:59:15.080 --> 0:59:19.960 I get why she couldn't get off the meth. She 0:59:20.000 --> 0:59:24.360 couldn't stop being an alcoholic. And so I'm coming off 0:59:24.360 --> 0:59:27.000 anxiety medicine now and I take it and it's not 0:59:27.240 --> 0:59:29.000 near what the slap pill was, no near what the 0:59:29.000 --> 0:59:31.479 hard drugs is, but it's it sucks because I always 0:59:31.520 --> 0:59:34.560 got like a little headache, my hand shake a little bit. 0:59:34.680 --> 0:59:36.680 Are you just trying to like remove that from your 0:59:36.720 --> 0:59:39.360 life where you're going to get trying to try out 0:59:39.400 --> 0:59:41.560 a new one. I'm trying to remove it right now. 0:59:41.800 --> 0:59:44.040 And I have no problem with people using I'm not 0:59:44.240 --> 0:59:47.720 don't use medication, guy, because I tried for me, I 0:59:47.720 --> 0:59:51.080 tried zoloft, I tried dent deepressants didn't do anything for me. 0:59:51.160 --> 0:59:53.480 So I just stopped taking like it did nothing to me. 0:59:54.000 --> 0:59:57.280 So I believe that, you know, we all have issues 0:59:57.320 --> 0:59:59.800 and we all get fixed in different ways. And for me, 1:00:00.640 --> 1:00:03.040 I am going to try different methods at this point 1:00:03.160 --> 1:00:05.480 to try to lose my anxiety. I'm gonna start seeing 1:00:05.480 --> 1:00:10.000 someone more and finding coping Technique's all tools, lots tools, 1:00:10.720 --> 1:00:12.720 you know, you find the tools I have. I have 1:00:12.800 --> 1:00:15.280 been on all kinds of medication, and some of them 1:00:15.280 --> 1:00:18.760 made me crazier, some of them made me non existent, 1:00:19.120 --> 1:00:21.960 I mean, and then I finally, I'm finally in a 1:00:22.000 --> 1:00:25.840 place where I don't have to rely on that anymore. Um, 1:00:25.880 --> 1:00:27.920 I would get so bills and get so messed up 1:00:27.960 --> 1:00:29.880 the next day that I wouldn't I would remember the 1:00:29.960 --> 1:00:32.400 day I would part. You have many time I drop 1:00:32.400 --> 1:00:33.800 off with the gas thing in my car because I 1:00:33.800 --> 1:00:35.840 just didn't remember a pump gas and drive off and 1:00:35.880 --> 1:00:37.320 I was like, this is it. I have to stop. 1:00:38.840 --> 1:00:41.400 I've never taking sleeping pills, but I've taken like they're awesome. 1:00:44.000 --> 1:00:46.000 But I'm sure that's what people say about any of 1:00:46.040 --> 1:00:49.200 that stuff. Like I was just like, I've never done coke, 1:00:49.280 --> 1:00:52.040 it's awesome. There's I've never like I have another people 1:00:52.040 --> 1:00:54.480 say it's awesome, and I just know I can't. I 1:00:54.520 --> 1:00:57.960 know I have actually said I'm not a drug person, 1:00:58.360 --> 1:01:00.200 just not into it either because of my day add 1:01:00.760 --> 1:01:03.880 I have had alcohol, but it's it's not my thing. 1:01:03.960 --> 1:01:05.600 I can't imagine you drunk. I hope it takes you 1:01:05.640 --> 1:01:11.480 down a bit, not up. Um. It is something I 1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:16.520 like to cry and it makes me emotional. Um. I 1:01:16.640 --> 1:01:19.600 just try to limit it because it ruined my dad's life, 1:01:20.000 --> 1:01:22.880 and a lot of it's genetic because I saw my 1:01:23.120 --> 1:01:27.000 I went to a family when my dad was in rehab. 1:01:27.680 --> 1:01:30.840 I went to a family counseling where they all these 1:01:30.880 --> 1:01:34.360 different families were in this room, and everybody's family member 1:01:34.400 --> 1:01:38.840 had something else wrong with him, but you know, wrong 1:01:39.000 --> 1:01:42.840 wrong with them. Had another yea, that's you. That's a 1:01:42.840 --> 1:01:48.920 good point, had a different substance problem, had a difficulty. Yeah, 1:01:49.600 --> 1:01:54.040 because just because you're an alcoholic. You're not. My dad's 1:01:54.040 --> 1:01:56.680 a great person, any less of a person. Yeah, it's 1:01:56.720 --> 1:01:58.800 just you're a broken person. We're all broken people. We 1:01:58.880 --> 1:02:03.120 just deal with it differently ways. And I learned so 1:02:03.240 --> 1:02:07.320 much in that about myself. Like if I m AM 1:02:07.360 --> 1:02:10.000 really close with you and I talked to you regularly, 1:02:10.080 --> 1:02:13.960 like every day. Like my boyfriend, for example, if I 1:02:14.000 --> 1:02:16.080 can't get in touch with him and I know he's 1:02:16.080 --> 1:02:18.560 supposed to be somewhere where I can get in touch 1:02:18.600 --> 1:02:23.640 with him, I panic because I think something's wrong with him. Instantly. 1:02:23.680 --> 1:02:26.720 I think he's hurt or not, that he's doing something 1:02:26.760 --> 1:02:32.000 he shouldn't be doing that he's not. Okay, I'm not jealous, 1:02:32.320 --> 1:02:36.000 So you're worried. I'm aware. I mean, like, if he's 1:02:36.080 --> 1:02:39.480 driving to Chattanooga, he's from Chattanooga as well, he's driving 1:02:39.520 --> 1:02:42.040 home and I can't talk to him, at some point, 1:02:42.360 --> 1:02:44.840 I think the worse. And I learned that from my mother, 1:02:45.040 --> 1:02:47.280 and they told me that in this because if my 1:02:47.360 --> 1:02:49.920 dad had been out drinking and we hadn't heard from 1:02:49.960 --> 1:02:52.040 him in a while, we would go looking for him, 1:02:52.160 --> 1:02:53.919 or you know what I mean. So I like learned 1:02:53.960 --> 1:02:57.160 these behaviors and I didn't know that I didn't know that. 1:02:57.200 --> 1:03:01.320 I learned that until this like canceling things. So it's crazy. Yeah, 1:03:01.320 --> 1:03:06.080 I have had I've really done anxiety medication. I mean 1:03:06.160 --> 1:03:08.760 don't unless you felt like like I used to have 1:03:09.800 --> 1:03:13.200 panic attacked to the point where I thought I was dying, 1:03:13.520 --> 1:03:15.160 Like I thought I was having a Harvard heart attack. 1:03:15.320 --> 1:03:17.640 It's the scariest thing that when my parents went through 1:03:17.640 --> 1:03:21.800 the divorce, I had them daily, but I was it 1:03:21.920 --> 1:03:24.560 was like right after my dad had gone through Reyah, 1:03:24.640 --> 1:03:27.480 and I was so scared because typically they'll give you 1:03:27.520 --> 1:03:29.800 like xan X or something along those lines, and you 1:03:29.800 --> 1:03:32.280 can get addicted to them. So I was like so 1:03:32.440 --> 1:03:35.080 scared to go get medication. And I finally got through that, 1:03:35.120 --> 1:03:38.040 but it was a dark, dark time in my life. 1:03:38.080 --> 1:03:42.240 And I just think, yeah, I get that standpoint of 1:03:42.280 --> 1:03:44.520 like not wanting to do those things. I want to 1:03:44.520 --> 1:03:48.360 do them. No, no, no, lauren A, I want to 1:03:48.360 --> 1:03:53.160 do everything. It's not that fun, like that can't be true. 1:03:53.280 --> 1:03:56.680 That can't be true. It's fun during it, Like I've 1:03:56.800 --> 1:03:59.840 I've never really been blackout drunk. People get black out, 1:03:59.840 --> 1:04:01.960 and that's not been something that's happened to me. I 1:04:01.960 --> 1:04:06.560 would like that. I think would like that, but I've 1:04:06.720 --> 1:04:11.439 definitely drank probably more alcohol than I should. Like it's 1:04:11.440 --> 1:04:13.920 just not drinking it responsible. Who cares. It's like I 1:04:13.920 --> 1:04:15.720 don't smoke weed, but I have no It should be 1:04:15.800 --> 1:04:17.760 legal in my mind, Like how can something gross from 1:04:17.760 --> 1:04:21.960 the earth not be legal? People would cancer symptoms and 1:04:22.000 --> 1:04:24.240 I'm gonna tell you bring that up, this is this 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:27.160 is a crazy because first of all, I think I'm 1:04:27.200 --> 1:04:31.560 the person that can go, person can go, and I've 1:04:31.560 --> 1:04:33.080 never touched it, but I think it should be legal. 1:04:33.880 --> 1:04:36.000 Now that being said, I'll give you an example. I'm 1:04:36.000 --> 1:04:37.520 gonna go back to Amy, who's one of my best friends, 1:04:37.560 --> 1:04:41.160 and her mom Dotty cancer a couple of years ago 1:04:41.600 --> 1:04:44.640 maybe and she just celebrating any but maybe it's a year. 1:04:45.240 --> 1:04:50.520 I don't know. Two years ago sounds right, so um, 1:04:50.560 --> 1:04:53.600 But what happened was Amy is super to the right, 1:04:53.920 --> 1:04:56.680 super conservative about everything, and her mom got real sick 1:04:56.720 --> 1:04:59.959 with cancer, and I mean, we all cared about Judy 1:05:00.000 --> 1:05:03.760 Amy's mom so much and she was in pain, and 1:05:04.080 --> 1:05:07.320 they started using medical marijuana and Amy was so against it, 1:05:07.360 --> 1:05:08.560 and then she was like, for the first time, I 1:05:08.560 --> 1:05:11.600 get it. She was like, it's the only thing that 1:05:11.720 --> 1:05:15.760 makes my mom's life tolerable to her the only thing, 1:05:16.800 --> 1:05:19.880 and Amy went, I'm completely on board now because I 1:05:19.920 --> 1:05:24.160 see firsthand what this medically can do well medically, I 1:05:24.200 --> 1:05:27.920 think definitely should be Listen whatever makeup, I don't care, 1:05:27.960 --> 1:05:30.120 make everything legal. Who knows what's gonna happen with Donald Trump? 1:05:30.120 --> 1:05:35.680 Who knows down the street by some crack called the Day, 1:05:35.760 --> 1:05:39.680 I Kid, I I Kid Lauren Lena. Um, So if 1:05:39.720 --> 1:05:44.000 people want to download your music, they can everywhere. Everywhere. 1:05:44.280 --> 1:05:48.840 It's all download stores. There's a big L and A 1:05:49.400 --> 1:05:52.080 and a heart painted on a wall. That's the picture, right. Yeah. 1:05:53.920 --> 1:05:55.880 I just picked out the artwork for the album, but 1:05:55.960 --> 1:06:00.280 that's not that's not out yet. But I'm saying that 1:06:00.320 --> 1:06:02.400 they can't get up now. They can't get that now. 1:06:02.440 --> 1:06:04.240 What I'm saying, what are you thinking about that? When 1:06:04.240 --> 1:06:06.480 does that in your mind? What do you think of? 1:06:06.520 --> 1:06:10.240 The album comes out like a time in the monst 1:06:10.280 --> 1:06:13.600 three months of the year, the first quarter. Yeah, that's cool. 1:06:13.920 --> 1:06:16.480 So you have an album. Um, they can get your 1:06:16.480 --> 1:06:18.919 stuff now. And road Less traveled as a single, that's 1:06:19.000 --> 1:06:21.640 by the way, twenty one. What was your highest song 1:06:21.720 --> 1:06:27.160 before this one? Do you know? Yeah? Ro ro Let's travel. 1:06:27.280 --> 1:06:40.200 Here's a little Georgia peaches for you. Here's the song. 1:06:40.280 --> 1:06:43.000 It was also my nickname in college. Eighteen inches. Here 1:06:43.040 --> 1:06:55.200 you go. What's it right? That's such a good song. Yeah, 1:06:55.240 --> 1:07:00.120 I love that song. We were in Oh Preston, I'm 1:07:00.160 --> 1:07:01.760 loksh were playing some of their older stuff and it 1:07:01.800 --> 1:07:03.480 was like, God, the song is so good and I 1:07:03.600 --> 1:07:05.760 was like, and it's you know, there are great songs 1:07:05.840 --> 1:07:09.080 that sometimes the time just isn't right and if it 1:07:09.160 --> 1:07:11.520 were to come out at a different time, it would 1:07:11.520 --> 1:07:14.480 be a complete I Next Boyfriend was a great song 1:07:14.920 --> 1:07:20.000 and like out streamed out. I mean it was like 1:07:20.600 --> 1:07:23.160 anything I'd ever done. Here's the thing about streaming, though, 1:07:23.240 --> 1:07:25.880 if that's pretty political with playlists, they put them on playlists. 1:07:25.880 --> 1:07:28.800 Everything's political, radio political, streaming political. Well, you can go 1:07:28.880 --> 1:07:31.760 in and look at how you get the numbers there. 1:07:31.920 --> 1:07:33.920 That's true. That's a good thing is from an artist, 1:07:34.000 --> 1:07:37.520 like as an artist on Spotify, are these different places 1:07:37.560 --> 1:07:39.120 I can go in and see which ones are kind 1:07:39.160 --> 1:07:42.240 of manufactured and which ones are legitimate and where their legitimate. 1:07:42.520 --> 1:07:46.080 So that does help. But it outperformed most of my stuff. 1:07:46.440 --> 1:07:49.480 Ever Where did that one? Did that one chart? It 1:07:49.600 --> 1:07:53.320 went to like, no, it did chart, but it went 1:07:53.360 --> 1:07:55.600 to like forty eight or something. Yeah, you know, I 1:07:55.720 --> 1:07:58.560 just think it was the wrong time. It's the wrong time. 1:07:59.160 --> 1:08:02.000 Now is the right time. Like I'll take it. Listen, 1:08:02.080 --> 1:08:03.480 look how you go. I do say all the time. 1:08:03.480 --> 1:08:05.000 You one of the best vocalists in town. And this 1:08:05.160 --> 1:08:09.040 is a town with freaking fantastic singers. And I get 1:08:09.040 --> 1:08:10.440 to be around all of them. I get to be 1:08:10.520 --> 1:08:12.760 around you guys. And now you know, there's Carrie Who've 1:08:12.800 --> 1:08:14.520 got to sing with before on stage, which are crazy. 1:08:14.560 --> 1:08:20.280 She's like alien what she sings. There's Chris Stapleton who 1:08:20.439 --> 1:08:22.320 sits sit beside me and say, and you're just like, 1:08:22.439 --> 1:08:26.400 what the You're in that category. You're in that category 1:08:26.520 --> 1:08:30.400 of of that and with the bread's the bread Eldridge 1:08:30.479 --> 1:08:35.560 is there. There's a level of of pure vocalists and 1:08:35.600 --> 1:08:38.720 you're in that A plus vocalist category. And now it's 1:08:38.760 --> 1:08:41.640 just finding. You're you're just finding your spot. Now, like 1:08:41.760 --> 1:08:43.680 where are you in that? In that spot? And you're 1:08:44.000 --> 1:08:45.960 you're finding it. And I think it's honesty. You're find 1:08:46.000 --> 1:08:47.600 you're finding the honesty is just the way to go. 1:08:48.200 --> 1:08:49.559 And you know what, here's the thing about honestly. If 1:08:49.560 --> 1:08:52.560 you lose on honestly, at least you're honest. That's and 1:08:52.640 --> 1:08:54.800 if you lose on not when you're just putting out crap, 1:08:54.960 --> 1:08:56.800 you're like, oh man, I should have been honest. If 1:08:56.840 --> 1:08:58.960 you lose on honesty what I've discovered in my life, 1:08:59.439 --> 1:09:01.680 you're you're going okay with that because you've done the 1:09:01.720 --> 1:09:06.479 best you can do well. I will say that when 1:09:06.560 --> 1:09:09.200 Next Boyfriend didn't work, it hurt me more than the 1:09:09.280 --> 1:09:11.120 other ones because I didn't write them. But I was 1:09:11.200 --> 1:09:13.080 also way more proud of it, you know what I mean. 1:09:13.200 --> 1:09:15.519 And this whole record is that way. If if you 1:09:15.520 --> 1:09:18.639 read this, Troubled does Tomorrow. It's my highest charting ever 1:09:19.120 --> 1:09:21.320 and it's one of my favorites ever, and I'm so 1:09:21.520 --> 1:09:24.080 proud of it. And you've taken a forward step. That's 1:09:24.120 --> 1:09:27.200 always important. You've taken another forward step. My favorite song 1:09:27.280 --> 1:09:30.280 that you've ever written was a song called Recess on 1:09:30.400 --> 1:09:33.120 the Raging Kiddiets records. Yeah, now Lauren didn't sing it 1:09:33.160 --> 1:09:35.320 on the record, but we set on my couch and 1:09:35.479 --> 1:09:39.120 wrote this song called Recess but try one of the 1:09:39.200 --> 1:09:41.479 Raging Kiddiets record and Lauren was singing. I was like, 1:09:41.520 --> 1:09:43.200 you can't sing it. The High God. I can never 1:09:43.280 --> 1:09:45.400 sing this, Lauren, so we had to change it. I 1:09:45.520 --> 1:09:55.519 can I'm staring at o'clock. It's a way too slow. Yeah, swings, 1:09:55.920 --> 1:10:05.559 gonna drop the rings, gonna clown them all, Cindy marking 1:10:05.720 --> 1:10:13.040 back the tatters, what we like. I can't wait for it. 1:10:16.080 --> 1:10:17.439 I remember studying on the couch and I was like, 1:10:17.479 --> 1:10:19.320 here's I want to ride. We're talking about all these ideas. 1:10:19.360 --> 1:10:21.560 Recess went back and forth forth, and Lauren starts to go, 1:10:21.840 --> 1:10:24.760 I can't wait for I'm like, Lan, I could never 1:10:24.840 --> 1:10:30.360 do that. I can't wait for vs. Hey. I was like, 1:10:30.439 --> 1:10:33.240 screw this, and not only can I not do it? 1:10:33.680 --> 1:10:35.920 I got some we no when we pull it back, 1:10:36.000 --> 1:10:37.719 and then when and got Nikeya to sing it because 1:10:37.720 --> 1:10:42.439 I still cann't do it. You're possible, Lauren, Lena, You're 1:10:42.520 --> 1:10:45.800 dear to me. You're dear to me. Thank you for 1:10:45.880 --> 1:10:47.960 being and I hope you know that is very sincere. 1:10:48.280 --> 1:10:51.719 Thank you, and I appreciate you've been always been super supportive, 1:10:51.760 --> 1:10:54.560 and you're super supportive of so many people that need it. 1:10:54.760 --> 1:10:58.719 And I think that's wonderful because you have a platform 1:10:58.760 --> 1:11:01.559 to help and you do so I appreciate that. Well 1:11:01.800 --> 1:11:04.120 tickled me. Pink can call me Willie? How about that? 1:11:04.160 --> 1:11:15.200 All right, we're Lauren Lena is awesome film. Listen to 1:11:15.280 --> 1:11:16.519 Laurence dot You' like what a were gonna do? We 1:11:16.560 --> 1:11:17.880 We're gonna just talk. I was like, yeah, I SA, 1:11:17.920 --> 1:11:19.760 it's about hour and you just things just come out. 1:11:19.800 --> 1:11:21.599 You don't expect him too because you're just comfortable. We're 1:11:21.600 --> 1:11:23.960 just chatting, feel good. What would you do if you're 1:11:24.000 --> 1:11:26.960 they're like not really your friend and some some aren't 1:11:27.000 --> 1:11:28.880 my friends, but you know what, we get to know 1:11:29.000 --> 1:11:31.240 each other through it. I didn't know Ryan Hurt until 1:11:31.280 --> 1:11:32.360 he came to the house, and I was a fan 1:11:32.439 --> 1:11:34.920 of Ryan. Yeah he's awesome. Yeah he's awesome. And that's 1:11:35.000 --> 1:11:36.640 why I was like, dude, come to the house. And 1:11:36.760 --> 1:11:40.040 Ryan's a very spirit guy, like he the earth is 1:11:40.120 --> 1:11:42.120 that you know everything in it. And so we would 1:11:42.120 --> 1:11:44.760 text all the time, just back and forth, and so 1:11:44.800 --> 1:11:46.120 I was like, you gotta come in because I just 1:11:46.160 --> 1:11:47.960 want to like get in your brain. We weren't we 1:11:48.080 --> 1:11:50.120 never met. And he came in and we sat and 1:11:50.200 --> 1:11:52.160 there's one of these of Ryan and I just talking 1:11:52.200 --> 1:11:54.840 about music, and he left. I was like, man, that's 1:11:55.400 --> 1:11:57.719 like I don't like, I don't know him there today, 1:11:58.000 --> 1:12:01.320 but that talk I was just like that, like I 1:12:01.439 --> 1:12:04.280 feel I felt connected and so I don't know I've 1:12:04.320 --> 1:12:06.000 ever had one that we walked out and when it 1:12:06.080 --> 1:12:07.640 was like I just think you can find that part 1:12:07.680 --> 1:12:09.800 of a human where you're like, well this is a 1:12:09.880 --> 1:12:12.400 really cool. I mean we're in the most comfortable chairs, 1:12:12.720 --> 1:12:15.599 which they don't think that's not on purpose, of course, 1:12:15.840 --> 1:12:18.439 I'm like going to rock myself. You relax and you 1:12:18.560 --> 1:12:23.479 hang out and there's a dog running around these like Lauren, 1:12:23.520 --> 1:12:27.479 You're awesome too. Many many more successes and many of 1:12:27.720 --> 1:12:31.600 more days of friendship between us. Yes, alright, download Rod 1:12:31.680 --> 1:12:34.479 left travel please and if Lauren's out, she by the way, 1:12:34.520 --> 1:12:36.920 she will be at with Martina McBride. Yeah, there was 1:12:36.920 --> 1:12:39.479 a big announcement that you and Martina are going next year. Yeah, 1:12:39.800 --> 1:12:43.400 first quarter. So look for Lauren out with Martina and 1:12:43.520 --> 1:12:47.280 soon enough you'll be headlining. I got no doubt about it. 1:12:47.560 --> 1:12:49.360 All you need that one song, Like look at Cam 1:12:49.439 --> 1:12:51.120 she has one song and it was so big though 1:12:51.160 --> 1:12:53.120 she gets to go and she she's headlining her own 1:12:53.200 --> 1:12:56.000 tour right now. It's amazing. And so you got it. 1:12:56.120 --> 1:13:00.240 You're ready, just get pissing this one going, Lauren Anna, 1:13:00.280 --> 1:13:02.200 thank you for listening to episode twenty two of The 1:13:02.280 --> 1:13:05.920 Bobby Cast, and that's all we got. See you next time, guys,