WEBVTT - Jess, Fix My Mess! 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:15.880 and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:19.480 on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode. 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:23.440 What's Your Girl? And host just hilarious. Listen, I've been 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:25.599 taken to the liking of all the followers on the 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.479 carefully Reckless page. Let's just give the carefully Reckless page 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:31.280 a huge shout out. Y'all been sending them vms and 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.160 and stuff to the email and all that type of stuff. 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.440 And I'm gonna name this episode just fix my mess now. 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:39.360 This is a segment that I was doing back in 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.440 season one that I stopped doing. Don't ask me why 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:44.199 I just stopped, do you know what I mean? But 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.479 I'm picking it back up now. And I asked you 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.640 guys last week on the Carefully Reckless page to submit 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.720 some of the most complicating situations that you're going through 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:55.400 right now, that you've been through and that you don't 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:57.440 ever want to go through, or if someone close to 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:00.400 you went through something. Just keep it anonymous, because unlike 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:03.320 last season, I'm not gonna put anybody out there, and 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:05.240 a lot of y'all didn't really care about me putting 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.120 your names and Instagram handles and social media handles out 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:12.360 there because you know, you just didn't care. But I'm 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:15.800 going to keep everybody anonymous, you know, just turning over 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.360 a new leaf, and it will still help people, whether 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.920 people know who you are or not. So these are 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:26.440 stories gearing toward relationship problems. Okay, First one, Jess, I've 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:28.720 been with my man for eight months. I changed a 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.800 lot of ship for him, including changing my clothes when 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.760 he feels that my outfits are too seductive for public. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.120 But I feel my outfits are empowering and I don't 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:41.880 want to change them, so I stopped. Whenever he gets upset, 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:45.000 he screams and yells and calls me thoughts, what the 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.360 funk should I do? What's my standpoint? Because I want 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:51.880 to leave, but I do love him? Okay, Okay, so 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.880 I can see both sides. This is the thing. No 0:01:55.000 --> 0:02:00.560 man wants their woman to be walking around showing leavage 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.880 and showing body parts that only he needs to see. 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:07.160 So I definitely do understand. You know, if he feels 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.760 as if your outfits are too seductive and he wants 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:14.040 you to change them, if you are willing to change them, 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.680 if you love him, that much and you're willing, then 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:19.480 it's nothing wrong with that. Now, what is he doing 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:23.720 to you that's making you not want to keep the 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:25.720 deal like it was and then you want to wear 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.240 your cities out and ship like that's the thing. What 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:31.519 is he doing? Is he not reciprocating any sacrifices or 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.880 any compromised like because that that's a compromise. I would 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:39.040 deem that as a sacrifice. You sacrificed your style for 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.639 your man because he feels some type of way about 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:46.280 you dressing like a damn hooker. Okay, mate, you didn't 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:47.960 say that. I'm an chill out all right, My bad, 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.639 but that's what it looks like to him. And I've 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.440 been through a similar situation. You know, my previous relationship. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.080 My boyfriend did not like for me to wear my 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:57.320 body all the time. He didn't like for me to 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.440 be tworking all over the internet, and Ship didn't like 0:02:59.520 --> 0:03:04.320 for others to see what his eyes should only see 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.560 what's for him. You know, in a sense, you belong 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:09.119 to that person and that person belongs to you. When 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:12.280 you officialize something, officialize is not a word, but damn it, 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.440 I made it up. When you officialize, I think officiate is, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:20.240 but I like officialized, when you officialize a relationship meaning 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:22.640 this is what we're doing, we're moving forward, we're together, 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:26.679 we are one together, not even marriage, just a relationship. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.040 You have to be secure enough and you have to 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.520 set those boundaries. Look, this is what I don't like. 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:34.160 And he told you that, But something had to happen 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:37.760 for you to go back to wearing that ship. Maybe 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:41.200 he's not compromising enough for you. Maybe you feel like 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.720 you've been compromising for him and changing yourself and and 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.320 he hasn't done anything. But he has a list of 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:51.560 demands for you. So I don't think if you love him, 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:53.920 you should leave. This should be a conversation piece. You 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.320 should sit down and talk to him, and you know, 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.320 dress up in your lingerie girl, dress up in your 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.560 goddamn law garay and you know, strip for him and 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:04.680 do all of that, you know if if he likes that, 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:07.320 and then you know, you get them all riled up. 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.600 Feed him some strawberries his favorite fruit. Something, give him 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.120 like a nice little tease, like a nice little strip show, 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.840 you know, and put it on his ass right and 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:20.920 then sell them. Babe, Listen, these are my issues. This 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.240 is the issue I know that you don't like me 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.599 having my body out. I know that. However, this is 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.880 my issue with you. I felt like you're not compromising enough. 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:31.520 I changed for you. I don't feel like you're changing 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:33.880 enough for me for me to keep on keeping up 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.279 with your demands. If you want to stay, stay. I 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:39.680 don't think this is a big deal. Honestly, guys, and 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.640 to all my listeners out there, y'all can give me 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:43.919 your feedback. If y'all feel like my advice, you know, 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:46.600 was good enough for my baby almost at a name. 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.479 If you feel like it was good enough, let me know, 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:50.800 because I feel like this is not big Ladies, this 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:52.880 is not big man. They can make it through this. 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:55.200 They just have to communicate and he has to be 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:58.719 willing to compromise with your list of demands if you 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:02.160 have any as well. Okay, everything has to be reciprocated 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:06.600 in a relationship. Okay, moving on. I was dating this 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.360 guy for about a year, but I had never been 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:11.960 to his house. He always would come to mind, or 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.119 we would get hotels and we would travel. I would 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.600 post him, he would post me, but it was just 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:20.799 something that would keep me from coming over his house. 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.560 I asked him and he would always go around the 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.200 situation and want to take me out or come to 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:29.280 my house. What do you think that was about, Well, 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:32.800 the fact that the story is described in the past tense. 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:35.720 I think you figured that out your damn self, or 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:37.559 or did y'all break up for a whole another reason, 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.480 I don't know. Because you said you dated this guy 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:45.000 for about a year, I honestly wouldn't automatically skip ahead 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.000 to thinking that he had someone living with him or 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:51.719 he was necessarily living a double life. My mind would 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:55.560 go to, and this is only because you said, y'all 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:57.960 posted each other. You know, you are posting each other up, 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.440 were going out on trips, he was with you, He 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.760 was always your house and hotels or whatever, just whatever. 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:07.640 That's the main reason why I wouldn't automatically go to 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:09.720 the fact that he may have had someone else living 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.800 at home or living a double life. I will honestly 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.120 say that maybe he didn't have a place to live 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.080 and he could have been living with his mother, or 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:18.960 he could have been staying with a homeboy and was 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:20.839 leading you to believe that he had his own home 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.480 or whatever, or maybe he never even spoken of it. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.800 But you know, women minds wander, our minds wander. If 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.520 we don't know, something will start running in our heads 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:31.160 and we will make up some ship and we will 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.440 get in our own way. I do feel like you 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.800 should have told me a couple of his responses when 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:37.960 you would ask him, why can't I come to your house? 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:39.520 So let me come over? Because you said that he 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.760 would always go around it. How would he go around it? 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.920 What are the things that he would say, like, oh, no, 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:47.480 my ship, my house dirty right now, or you know, 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.040 or I'm getting the carpet pulled up and ship like whatever. 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:52.400 But this was a year, a year, and you hadn't 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.960 been to his residence. Maybe he ain't have no goddamn residence, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.400 or think worst case scenario, maybe he was living a life. 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:02.520 Maybe he did have a girlfriend at home, or a 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:04.960 wife at home, or a man at home, a boyfriend 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:07.280 at home. It doesn't matter. Nowadays, you never motherfucker know. 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:10.520 So you have to make sure you know a person 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:14.400 before you even solidify anything. You have to make sure 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.880 that or at least that you know the basis, because 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:19.400 let's just be honest here, nobody is gonna ever know 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:27.360 everything about their partner before they decide to make it official. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.080 It's mary folks still getting to know each other right now, 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.640 still learning each other right now, said this day. It's 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:35.120 people who have been in relationships for years who still 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.480 don't know each and everything about each other, who still 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:40.560 are learning each other, you know. So you have to 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.120 remain cognizant of that as well. But you were supposed 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:45.400 to give me some more meat to that damn story. Girl. 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:49.240 You definitely was. You're actually out of that based on 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:52.400 the tents of your statements, So I don't need to 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:54.720 give you any advice. But you did ask me what 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.440 I thought. Like I said, I really think that he 0:07:57.520 --> 0:07:59.880 doesn't have a home, you know, giving all the factors 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.120 of everything that you described, I don't think that he 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:04.040 had anywhere to stay. I think he may have been 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:07.200 staying with somebody or whatever like that. Hold up, Hold up, 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.200 I know the ship getting good. But listen to just 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:11.320 a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:16.680 you'll listen. Okay. The next one is from a guy. 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.920 I love when my guys right me. Because everybody thinks 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:22.559 I'm just all for the women. No, I'm for the people, baby. Okay. 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:24.880 So this one is from a guy. Why every time 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.200 I get into my girl's car. The passenger seat is 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.080 not how I left it. It's linked all the way back. 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:38.439 And you already know what the funk that's given. Okay, Okay, 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.200 So he didn't pose a question at the end. He's 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.960 just letting me know that he don't like that ship 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:48.600 every time. So have you taken this to her? Now? 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.600 This man did. I can say his name, but I'm 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.760 not going to Oh my god, I want to call 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.800 you boy. Your name so bad. Listen, have you talked 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:57.840 to her about it? You need to go to her. 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.600 Go to her? Okay, and listen. Do you have your 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:06.360 own car? Because why are you always riding with her? Basically? No? 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:08.480 And listen, listen, No, I'm not down to you. If 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:10.280 you don't have a car, that's fine. If you don't 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.200 have a car. And if you don't have a car 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.640 and she does and she is your only means of transportation, 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:18.000 is that the reason why you haven't bought this up 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:21.160 to her? If you haven't because you feel like, all right, 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:23.400 this is her car. You know I ain't I ain't 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:25.520 driving right now, but every time I get in this 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:28.160 motherfucking car, this ship linked all the way back. I'm 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.920 guessing further than when you lean it back. That's what 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.880 I'm guessing, because you said it's never how you left it, okay, 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:36.400 So that means one, you're always in her passenger seats, 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.240 so that means you're never driving. And then too, you 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:42.120 pay attention, motherfucker. That's that's what that means. You pay attention. 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.000 I do get it. You have to talk to her. 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:46.160 You have to talk to her. Some girls leaning all 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:47.920 the way back. She might have a home girl, or 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.199 she might have a guy in the car. It may 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:53.640 not be somebody that she's sucking with it. Maybe I 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.560 don't know. It could be a homeboy, a cousin, Like 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.360 do you notice a guy best friend that she has? 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.440 Like you, you have to sit down and talk. Things 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.280 are so childish to me. These are childish. And the 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.720 reason why I'm deeming it as childish, guys, because these 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.880 are just one two questions that you can talk to 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.720 your mate about. And if you ain't scared, you know 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:16.200 what I mean, you can go and talk to your 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:17.800 girlfriend about that. You're supposed to be able to call 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.680 your bitch and be like or go in the house 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:22.320 and be like, yo's come here, come here, come go 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.280 go in and get her asked up if she sleep 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:25.880 or go get her out the kitchen, if she's cooking, 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.600 take her, pull her away from the TV. Listen, come here, 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:31.280 let me let me show you this real quick. Take 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:33.920 her ass outside by her hand, lead her around the car, 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:38.200 Open up that goddamn door. Show her, Yo, this ain't 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.360 how I left it. What's this like? You know? Talk 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.280 to her, ask her, and I guarantee you you either 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:49.240 gonna get the truth or you ain't. But whatever her responses, 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:53.079 you're gonna know what happened. Whatever the fucking response is, 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:54.720 You're gonna be able to get the truth. You will 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:58.560 know something right or you was just overreacting, you said 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.960 every time you get in there. So either she is 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:06.040 frequently cheating or she not, it gotta be the same person. 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.240 If the ship always linked back, it gotta be the 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:12.160 same person. And if she is cheating, that means this 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:16.000 bitch love niggas that don't drive. That's what I'm just 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.360 gonna keep it, Keep it simple for you, baby. She 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.000 just she loved the fact that y'all depend on her. 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:22.679 She loved the fact that y'all need her. A lot 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.080 of women love to be needed. They love to be 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.440 a necessity to a man. You get what I'm saying. 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.160 They love for a man to depend on them. I 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.360 need for you to get your own car, and if 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:32.800 you in her house, get the funk up out of 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:35.880 there too, because if there is another man in her 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.800 car every time you get out, it is another man 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.400 in her house every time you leave out. So I 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.320 need for you to understand that, brother, and we're gonna 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:47.800 move on. We got another man, yes, lord, I love it. Yo. 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.280 My baby mother has been receiving child support. But my 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.319 baby is well taken care of by me and her. 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.040 We both work and have jobs. So why the funk 0:11:57.080 --> 0:11:59.839 and my own child support? Right? She uses the money 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:04.120 to buy nice things for herself. What the fuck? You'll say, 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.840 what the fuck? I get it and makes you upset 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:10.480 and listen. On a more serious note, these women they 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.160 do that ship. There there are mothers out here like that. 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.080 There are men out here, these fathers who are taking 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.920 care of their children and they are still on child support. Ship. 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:25.360 I know men that keep their kids, primarily single fathers 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.280 who are on fucking child support literally, like my father 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.560 was just one of them. My father was just on 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:33.040 child support for his daughter and his daughter lives with him. 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.640 My little sister was living with him and still was 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.120 on child support. You feel me like, it's just hard. 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:40.679 Once you go on, it's hard as ship to get 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.120 you off. That's why I always tell ladies, listen, if 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:46.280 you don't need to put him on child support, if 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:49.200 you absolutely don't need to and you're not doing it 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:52.840 out of spite and you really really fucking need child support, 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.760 don't put them on there unless you really need it, 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:58.360 because it's hard as fun to get a man off, 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.360 and that's not the way you hit below the belt. 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:03.679 If a guy is really taking care of his child 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.600 and you don't need the state for those extra benefits 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.920 and you don't need to go through the courts to 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.640 get him to take care of your child, don't do it. 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.240 All other personal ship don't have nothing to do with 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.600 the baby. Seriously, And I know this sounds like cliche, 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.600 but this is real life ship that women go through 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.520 and men go through. My son's dad, rome little baby father, 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.760 he on child support. Two of his kids moms have 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.920 him on child support because them bitches was mad at him, 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:32.760 not because he don't take care of his kids. He 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.440 still take care of his kids. What y'all don't understand 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.560 is when y'all do that ship out of feelings and 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.680 all that type of ship, and y'all get back cool 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:41.720 with the nigga, then y'all feel bad. Then y'all try 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.480 to take him off, but the state don't work like that. Now. 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.240 They're not just gonna oh he he good this week? 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.199 Are we gonna take them off and ship? Now? It's 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.960 so many loopholes and so many hurdles and obstacles you 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.200 have to jump through and go through and conquer to 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.080 get a man off of child support. It's not that 0:13:57.160 --> 0:14:00.160 fucking easy. And then also when you put a man 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.360 on child support who's taking care of his child, you're 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.680 actually taking away from with the child could potentially have 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.280 if they weren't on child support. Because even with my 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.240 son's dad, he's on child support for one of his kids. 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:16.000 He was doing so much more for her before he 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.480 was put on child support. So it's like, damn, you 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.360 didn't sunk that up because you're mad because the nigga 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.720 ain't with you, but he's still taking kid of his baby, 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.240 and you had the baby so he would stay with you. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:27.640 But you've got to understand also that these men are 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.120 not staying for these babies. A baby cannot keep a man, 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.600 and that is very selfish to a child, very selfish. 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.960 So I'm sorry, brother, I'm so, so sorry, but you 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:41.240 need to take that ship to the courts. Okay. You 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:44.120 need to be able to provide proof that your daughter 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.360 or your son or I don't know if it's children 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:48.760 are well taken care of. You know, you need to 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.720 see counsel and you know, try to get custody or 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:55.000 joint custody or something like that that will help you 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:58.000 out in that situation, because I know how that looks 0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.920 and I know how that feels. There's been many a 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.080 times that my son's dad has cried over that ship, like, yo, 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:07.880 I'm literally going broke trying to take care of my 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.200 kids and page you'll support, Why the fund do I 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.160 have to do both when I'm already taking care of them? 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:15.000 You know? So I definitely do understand your frustration, and 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.520 I'm sorry about that, brother, because a lot of times 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.160 these women ain't shipped, These mothers ain't shet y'all. Lord, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:23.640 Now we got a commercial and if you click off 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.680 of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:31.840 Listen Okay, moving on, I broke up with my nigga. 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.680 Oh my god, stop saying nigga, this is this is 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.160 a young girl right here. I broke up with my nigga. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.320 And the crazy thing is I started falling for his 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:42.880 best friend. His best friend is the one that I 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:46.560 wanted from the jump, but he was in a relationship already. 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:49.480 I broke up with my boyfriend around the same time 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.640 he broke up with his girlfriend. Would that be bad 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:57.080 if we started to link? Bitch, let me tell you 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.920 something the way you just asked me that motherfucking question. 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.200 You already linking with this nigga. Don't don't sit here. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.680 Don't sit here and try to Yeah, I'm talking to 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.120 you because I know you're listening, all right. Don't sit 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.160 here and try to act like you ain't already make 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:11.720 up in your mind that she was gonna funk with 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.480 that nigga before you broke up with his friend. Don't 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.080 do that. Okay. You know I ain't for this ship. 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.200 I ain't for it. You know. I support a lot 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.800 of funk ships. Sometimes I support a lot of ratch city. 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:24.200 You know, I support a lot of ghet on this. 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:27.360 I do a lot of messy ship, but not this 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.440 that as nasty as fun, and they're not just friends. 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.760 They ain't just homeboys, but they're not co workers. Okay, 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.720 they're they're best friends. You just said to me you 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:38.440 had your eye on the best friend before you even 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.040 pursued his homeboy. It must have been a reason why 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:43.120 he wasn't able to date this nigga. He was in 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.040 a relationship, right, so you played house with his homeboy 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.920 and monitored his relationship the whole time because y'all just 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:56.600 out of nowhere coincidentally broke up at the same time, 0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:58.680 broke up with your boyfriend and girlfriend at the same 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.640 damn time, And you ask in me, would it be 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.320 wrong for y'all to link you? Motherfucking right, is wrong 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.560 that you're sucking that nigga? Yep, I ain't even gonna 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:09.639 answer it, like you didn't already go see him, stop playing, 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:11.639 And honestly, I'm gonna take it a step further. You 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.240 might have been sucking around with the best friend while 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:18.359 you was with your boyfriend, and the poor boyfriend don't know, 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:20.479 and the poor girlfriend don't know. I hope they all listening, 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:24.320 because that's nasty. And her name is Stasia. I'm gonna 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:27.560 put you out there, bitch. Anastasia is her name, Anastasia 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:31.440 right to seven? All right, I ain't gonna put out 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:33.680 the whole Instagram. And I just got mad at that 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:36.040 because that's some nasty as ship. Girl. You already knew 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.240 I wasn't going to agree with that ship. I'm moving 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:43.040 on from that. That's that's disgusted. Okay, moving on. Okay, 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:47.960 I like this one. Hey, Jess. I am a wealthy author. Okay. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.760 I have four books out and I'm on my fifth one. 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.199 I am currently engaged and about to get married. I 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:58.280 presented the idea of a prenup to my fiancee and 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:02.320 he refused to sign it. Am I wrong for that? Well, 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.040 let me ask you a question, and you're gonna eventually 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:08.240 write me back. Is that a dealbreaker for you that 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.800 he won't sign it? I need some more information, I 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:12.479 need some more meat. I need to know how long 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:17.040 you've been together. Were you struggling with him before? Like, 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:18.919 what was he with you when you didn't have anything? 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.520 If you if you've ever had nothing, you know what 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:23.880 I mean? Maybe you have never been in that predicament 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.400 of not not trying to put that on you. I'm 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.720 just saying, was he there? You know what I mean? 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.959 Prenups are always scary for people because there has been 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:36.680 a stigma put on them. A prenup is an agreement 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:40.840 that you signed prior to marriage that states you leave 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.600 this marriage like you came in. You leave this marriage 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.920 with whatever you brought to this marriage. That's what a 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:50.920 prenup is put in place for. Okay, Now, without the prenup, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.840 if you guys get a divorce, she would then have 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:56.760 to give up half of everything that she worked hard for, 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:58.520 or even if he didn't have anything to do with it, 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:00.679 half of it would go to him, you know, and 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.200 then depends on any other things that their lawyers work 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.040 out or whatever. But is it a deal breaker for you? 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:08.400 I can't even really speak on it until I know, 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:10.840 you know, because I'm gonna give you this. Charlemagne and 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.000 God just sat down and did an interview, right, and 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.160 I love him by the way, he and his wife 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:17.760 they don't have a print up. And he explained the 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.600 reason why she's always been down for me. She was 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:24.960 my rider die when I was in between jobs. That 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:27.920 woman was taking me to work, helping me fill out applications. 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.640 She was paying all the bills. There were times where 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:33.120 I didn't know I didn't have a damn job, and 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:35.719