WEBVTT - Let Go or Be Dragged

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<v Speaker 1>You found your way here to waking up with Ryan.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad that you pushed play. This is the

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<v Speaker 1>place you and I come to wake up together. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's take a deep breath and begin. Good morning, Love.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that there's that thing in your life that

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<v Speaker 1>you really want to have happen, the relationship or the

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<v Speaker 1>career or the money, and I want to explore with

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<v Speaker 1>you this morning how the need for it to happen

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<v Speaker 1>might be the very thing that's keeping it from you.

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<v Speaker 1>I got to reconnect with an old friend yesterday and

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<v Speaker 1>she was sharing with me that she just really wants

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<v Speaker 1>that relationship to come in. She wants the husband, she

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<v Speaker 1>wants to start her family, and she's been wanting this

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<v Speaker 1>as long as I've known her for a couple decades.

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<v Speaker 1>And she was saying to me that she had a

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<v Speaker 1>conversation with another friend about this who said to her, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe it's time you kind of let this go and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe then it will come. And so she said to me, Ryan,

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<v Speaker 1>do you think that I need to just let it go?

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<v Speaker 1>And I said, you know, it's an interesting conversation, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's one that we have to have a deeper look at,

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<v Speaker 1>because what I'm interested in looking at is what is

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<v Speaker 1>it that you believe you're going to get from having

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<v Speaker 1>this relationship in your life? And she said, I think

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<v Speaker 1>I'll finally be happy. I said, okay, and then I said,

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<v Speaker 1>now one more question. What is it that you believe

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<v Speaker 1>you won't have to feel anymore when this person comes

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<v Speaker 1>into your life? And she said, I'll no longer have

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<v Speaker 1>to feel lonely and sad. And I said, okay. Now

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<v Speaker 1>here's what we want to unpack. The Buddha said, the

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<v Speaker 1>things of the world can bring temporary happiness best. That

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<v Speaker 1>means that getting that relationship or whatever it is that

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<v Speaker 1>you want, getting that thing, yes, when it comes, it'll

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<v Speaker 1>light you up and it'll give you that happiness that

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<v Speaker 1>you want to feel, but it doesn't eliminate from you

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<v Speaker 1>your human experience. It'll bring temporary happiness at best, But

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<v Speaker 1>that happiness is fleeting. Why because you're a human being

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<v Speaker 1>who feels loss and grief and sadness and loneliness. Having

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<v Speaker 1>the thing that you want is not a panacea to

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<v Speaker 1>make go away your very real human experience. And so

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<v Speaker 1>the way to powerfully get what it is that you

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<v Speaker 1>want is not by grasping and needing or letting go

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<v Speaker 1>and not needing or wanting. Rather, it's about acknowledging the

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<v Speaker 1>fullness of your human experience and developing a relationship with

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<v Speaker 1>your inner world. The emotions and the thoughts that arise,

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<v Speaker 1>especially my love, the uncomfortable ones that you don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to feel. So in the situation with my friend, she said,

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<v Speaker 1>when I finally have this person come into my life,

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<v Speaker 1>I won't have to feel the sadness and loneliness anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>The invitation is for you to get okay with sadness

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<v Speaker 1>and loneliness so that you no longer are looking at

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<v Speaker 1>the world to be the controller of your inner experience.

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<v Speaker 1>You're no longer using the things of the world to

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<v Speaker 1>avoid feeling what's happening in here. When you can do that,

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<v Speaker 1>when you can recognize that what you really are is

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<v Speaker 1>this space inside of which everything can exist, and that

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<v Speaker 1>you are the witness of it who can feel the sadness,

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<v Speaker 1>feel the loneliness, feel the loss, think the conut the

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<v Speaker 1>confusing thought. Now you're able to be in powerful relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with the things of the world, recognizing that they exist

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<v Speaker 1>for you to become more self aware. They exist for

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<v Speaker 1>you to continue your soul's journey of your becoming and

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<v Speaker 1>when that person, for example, or that money or that

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<v Speaker 1>job comes in, you can feel that happiness, acknowledging that

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<v Speaker 1>you'll probably also feel sadness. You could be in a

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<v Speaker 1>ten year healthy relationship with somebody and have them sitting

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<v Speaker 1>on the sofa next to you and feel lonely. That happens.

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<v Speaker 1>The question is when you're in that tenure relationship that

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<v Speaker 1>you believe is the foundation of your own safety and happiness,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you get into the argument or you get

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<v Speaker 1>into some trouble, does your foundation shatter or have you

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<v Speaker 1>developed such a powerful relationship with yourself that you're able

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<v Speaker 1>to feel what's here? Drop out of your head that's thinking,

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<v Speaker 1>oh no, oh no, oh no, what if this goes away,

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<v Speaker 1>my life is going to go back to how terrible

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<v Speaker 1>it was before this relationship. Get out of those thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>and get into your body to feel what's here so

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<v Speaker 1>that you can nurture yourself and then communicate effectively with

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<v Speaker 1>the person involved in the situation and utilize the challenge

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<v Speaker 1>in your relationship in this example for continued healing, this

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<v Speaker 1>is what makes you a powerful manifestor moving from the

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<v Speaker 1>needing to the recognizing that it's all here for your growth.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's go into a short practice this morning to

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<v Speaker 1>get into healthy relationship with everything you're going to experience today.

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<v Speaker 1>So taking a moment to close.

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<v Speaker 2>Your eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>And take a few deep breaths, relaxing your body as

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<v Speaker 1>you inhale through their nose and exhale, keeping your breath

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<v Speaker 1>moving gently. Noticing how you are today, kind of what's

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<v Speaker 1>the activity going on in your mind? How does it

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<v Speaker 1>feel to be in this body? And bring to mind

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<v Speaker 1>that thing that you really want to have happened in

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<v Speaker 1>your life. Notice what it is that you've come to

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<v Speaker 1>believe that is going to give you. And now notice

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<v Speaker 1>what you've come to believe you will no longer have

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<v Speaker 1>to feel when that thing comes into your life. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>take a deep breath here.

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<v Speaker 2>And let it go.

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<v Speaker 1>Notice that all of this comes from.

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<v Speaker 2>A belief.

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<v Speaker 1>That you want and should only feel a certain way,

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<v Speaker 1>and that you don't want and shouldn't have to feel

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<v Speaker 1>a certain way. So notice the way the mind is

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<v Speaker 1>trying to control life and then grasps onto you believe

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<v Speaker 1>you need what you desire as a means to try

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<v Speaker 1>to control your inner world. Let's take another breath and

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<v Speaker 1>now just ask yourself this, can I feel it all?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm repeat after me, I am willing to feel it all.

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<v Speaker 1>I am willing to feel it all. I am willing

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<v Speaker 1>to feel it all. That's what I'm on this planet for.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I have this body for, to feel it all.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's take a deep breath and let it out, beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>When you're ready, blinking your eyes open, loving you from

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<v Speaker 1>right here. Hi, I hope you're feeling even just a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit more prepared to take on the day. But

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<v Speaker 1>before you go, I'd love to hear from you, and

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<v Speaker 1>you can send me a voice note by going to

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<v Speaker 1>my website Waking Up with Ryan dot com, scroll down

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<v Speaker 1>to the section that says send Ryan a voice note,

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<v Speaker 1>Tap the button to leave me a voice message with

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<v Speaker 1>a question you have, maybe a relationship challenge your having,

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<v Speaker 1>or a spiritual hang up, some kind of an emotional struggle,

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<v Speaker 1>any topic that you'd love for me to address on

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast. I want to hear from you, Loving you

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<v Speaker 1>from here,