Speaker 1: You found your way here to waking up with Ryan.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you pushed play. This is the
Speaker 1: place you and I come to wake up together. So
Speaker 1: let's take a deep breath and begin. Good morning, Love.
Speaker 1: I know that there's that thing in your life that
Speaker 1: you really want to have happen, the relationship or the
Speaker 1: career or the money, and I want to explore with
Speaker 1: you this morning how the need for it to happen
Speaker 1: might be the very thing that's keeping it from you.
Speaker 1: I got to reconnect with an old friend yesterday and
Speaker 1: she was sharing with me that she just really wants
Speaker 1: that relationship to come in. She wants the husband, she
Speaker 1: wants to start her family, and she's been wanting this
Speaker 1: as long as I've known her for a couple decades.
Speaker 1: And she was saying to me that she had a
Speaker 1: conversation with another friend about this who said to her, Hey,
Speaker 1: maybe it's time you kind of let this go and
Speaker 1: maybe then it will come. And so she said to me, Ryan,
Speaker 1: do you think that I need to just let it go?
Speaker 1: And I said, you know, it's an interesting conversation, but
Speaker 1: it's one that we have to have a deeper look at,
Speaker 1: because what I'm interested in looking at is what is
Speaker 1: it that you believe you're going to get from having
Speaker 1: this relationship in your life? And she said, I think
Speaker 1: I'll finally be happy. I said, okay, and then I said,
Speaker 1: now one more question. What is it that you believe
Speaker 1: you won't have to feel anymore when this person comes
Speaker 1: into your life? And she said, I'll no longer have
Speaker 1: to feel lonely and sad. And I said, okay. Now
Speaker 1: here's what we want to unpack. The Buddha said, the
Speaker 1: things of the world can bring temporary happiness best. That
Speaker 1: means that getting that relationship or whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you want, getting that thing, yes, when it comes, it'll
Speaker 1: light you up and it'll give you that happiness that
Speaker 1: you want to feel, but it doesn't eliminate from you
Speaker 1: your human experience. It'll bring temporary happiness at best, But
Speaker 1: that happiness is fleeting. Why because you're a human being
Speaker 1: who feels loss and grief and sadness and loneliness. Having
Speaker 1: the thing that you want is not a panacea to
Speaker 1: make go away your very real human experience. And so
Speaker 1: the way to powerfully get what it is that you
Speaker 1: want is not by grasping and needing or letting go
Speaker 1: and not needing or wanting. Rather, it's about acknowledging the
Speaker 1: fullness of your human experience and developing a relationship with
Speaker 1: your inner world. The emotions and the thoughts that arise,
Speaker 1: especially my love, the uncomfortable ones that you don't want
Speaker 1: to feel. So in the situation with my friend, she said,
Speaker 1: when I finally have this person come into my life,
Speaker 1: I won't have to feel the sadness and loneliness anymore.
Speaker 1: The invitation is for you to get okay with sadness
Speaker 1: and loneliness so that you no longer are looking at
Speaker 1: the world to be the controller of your inner experience.
Speaker 1: You're no longer using the things of the world to
Speaker 1: avoid feeling what's happening in here. When you can do that,
Speaker 1: when you can recognize that what you really are is
Speaker 1: this space inside of which everything can exist, and that
Speaker 1: you are the witness of it who can feel the sadness,
Speaker 1: feel the loneliness, feel the loss, think the conut the
Speaker 1: confusing thought. Now you're able to be in powerful relationship
Speaker 1: with the things of the world, recognizing that they exist
Speaker 1: for you to become more self aware. They exist for
Speaker 1: you to continue your soul's journey of your becoming and
Speaker 1: when that person, for example, or that money or that
Speaker 1: job comes in, you can feel that happiness, acknowledging that
Speaker 1: you'll probably also feel sadness. You could be in a
Speaker 1: ten year healthy relationship with somebody and have them sitting
Speaker 1: on the sofa next to you and feel lonely. That happens.
Speaker 1: The question is when you're in that tenure relationship that
Speaker 1: you believe is the foundation of your own safety and happiness,
Speaker 1: and then you get into the argument or you get
Speaker 1: into some trouble, does your foundation shatter or have you
Speaker 1: developed such a powerful relationship with yourself that you're able
Speaker 1: to feel what's here? Drop out of your head that's thinking,
Speaker 1: oh no, oh no, oh no, what if this goes away,
Speaker 1: my life is going to go back to how terrible
Speaker 1: it was before this relationship. Get out of those thoughts
Speaker 1: and get into your body to feel what's here so
Speaker 1: that you can nurture yourself and then communicate effectively with
Speaker 1: the person involved in the situation and utilize the challenge
Speaker 1: in your relationship in this example for continued healing, this
Speaker 1: is what makes you a powerful manifestor moving from the
Speaker 1: needing to the recognizing that it's all here for your growth.
Speaker 1: So let's go into a short practice this morning to
Speaker 1: get into healthy relationship with everything you're going to experience today.
Speaker 1: So taking a moment to close.
Speaker 2: Your eyes.
Speaker 1: And take a few deep breaths, relaxing your body as
Speaker 1: you inhale through their nose and exhale, keeping your breath
Speaker 1: moving gently. Noticing how you are today, kind of what's
Speaker 1: the activity going on in your mind? How does it
Speaker 1: feel to be in this body? And bring to mind
Speaker 1: that thing that you really want to have happened in
Speaker 1: your life. Notice what it is that you've come to
Speaker 1: believe that is going to give you. And now notice
Speaker 1: what you've come to believe you will no longer have
Speaker 1: to feel when that thing comes into your life. Let's
Speaker 1: take a deep breath here.
Speaker 2: And let it go.
Speaker 1: Notice that all of this comes from.
Speaker 2: A belief.
Speaker 1: That you want and should only feel a certain way,
Speaker 1: and that you don't want and shouldn't have to feel
Speaker 1: a certain way. So notice the way the mind is
Speaker 1: trying to control life and then grasps onto you believe
Speaker 1: you need what you desire as a means to try
Speaker 1: to control your inner world. Let's take another breath and
Speaker 1: now just ask yourself this, can I feel it all?
Speaker 1: I'm repeat after me, I am willing to feel it all.
Speaker 1: I am willing to feel it all. I am willing
Speaker 1: to feel it all. That's what I'm on this planet for.
Speaker 1: That's what I have this body for, to feel it all.
Speaker 2: Let's take a deep breath and let it out, beautiful.
Speaker 1: When you're ready, blinking your eyes open, loving you from
Speaker 1: right here. Hi, I hope you're feeling even just a
Speaker 1: little bit more prepared to take on the day. But
Speaker 1: before you go, I'd love to hear from you, and
Speaker 1: you can send me a voice note by going to
Speaker 1: my website Waking Up with Ryan dot com, scroll down
Speaker 1: to the section that says send Ryan a voice note,
Speaker 1: Tap the button to leave me a voice message with
Speaker 1: a question you have, maybe a relationship challenge your having,
Speaker 1: or a spiritual hang up, some kind of an emotional struggle,
Speaker 1: any topic that you'd love for me to address on
Speaker 1: the podcast. I want to hear from you, Loving you
Speaker 1: from here,