1 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: Today's guest grew up in front of millions of people 2 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: before she ever had the chance to decide who she 3 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: wanted to be. You know her as Nia Sue from 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: Dance Moms, one of the original cast members, the steady presence, 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: the one who kept showing up with grace in an 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: environment that didn't always make space for her to be 7 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: her full self. But Nia is so much more than 8 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 1: a childhood TV role. She's a dancer, a musician, an actor, 9 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: a UCLA grad, a author, and someone who has spent 10 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: several years reclaiming her voice, her identity, and growing up 11 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: under the intense pressure public scrutiny that we all watched unfold. 12 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: Today's conversation is about resilience without hardening, about learning who 13 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: you are when the cameras and off, and about choosing 14 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: yourself even when the world thinks it already knows you. 15 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: This is Wide Open. I'm Ashlin Harris and this is 16 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,559 Speaker 1: Nia Sue. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode 17 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: of Wide Open. I am your host, Ashlin Harris, and 18 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: today we have a very special guest, Nia. 19 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 2: Welcome to the show. How are you. 20 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 3: I'm great. How are you, Ashlin? 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: I'm so well. I'm so happy to have you on 22 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: the podcast. Our listeners and our guests are really going 23 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: to enjoy this because you speak from so much strength 24 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: and power but not resentment. And I think it takes 25 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: a very very strong person to walk the life you've 26 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: walked at such an early age and to be standing 27 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: where you are today, and I really want to talk 28 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: about that power. I don't think women get enough time 29 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: and a spotlight to really back their narrative in such 30 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: a beautiful way, and I really believe you have done. 31 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 2: That so gracefully. 32 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: So I wanted to give you your flowers before we really 33 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: dive in. 34 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: To all the topics. 35 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: So for the for those of you who don't know, 36 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 1: uh Nia got her start at nine years old on 37 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: a very very famous show called Dance Moms, Nia, talk 38 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: to me about talk to me about this show. 39 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 2: How it started for you. 40 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: I know dance was such a big part of your 41 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: identity and life and still is, but like, how did 42 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: this all happen as a nine year old? Because you 43 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: were already originally a part of this dance group and 44 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: then they were like, uh, side note, we're gonna start 45 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: filming everyone, so please like elaborate tell me about this 46 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 1: tell me about Dance Moms, how it started, all the 47 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: good stuff. 48 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. Well it's so funny because it genuinely 49 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 3: is like the most random thing ever. Like it really 50 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 3: was just like a fluke that I made it onto 51 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 3: this show, you know what I mean. Like I was 52 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 3: nine years old in the middle of like nowhere, Like 53 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 3: the dance studio wasn't a place. Uh it's it's like, uh, 54 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 3: it's in Pittsburgh, but the place is like Penhills, and 55 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 3: Penhills is like a suburb of Pittsburgh. So again it's 56 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 3: like a little random, like people are going to really 57 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 3: know all this is very small. The studio itself is 58 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 3: like not like the nicest, it's not that grand, but 59 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 3: you know, it was our home. That was our dance home, 60 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 3: you know, so so it was just what we were 61 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 3: used to. But it's so crazy. So when I was nine, Yeah, 62 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 3: there was talks. There were talks about, you know, Abby 63 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 3: the dance teacher, Uh, bringing in producers, Like there were 64 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 3: like flyers, like producers were going to come in you 65 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 3: could audition for this show. And basically, well it was 66 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 3: supposed to be like a document a docuseries, you know 67 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 3: what I mean. It wasn't even like presented as a 68 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 3: reality show. It was really presented as like a docuseries 69 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 3: following moms and daughters. Okay, cool, And we knew we 70 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 3: were between They were between a couple studios, so like 71 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 3: ours was one and they were looking at some other 72 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 3: studios as well, And all we had to do was 73 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 3: like submit a dance video and then do an interview 74 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 3: with one of the producers with with your mom. And 75 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,799 Speaker 3: I remember whenever I saw the fly at the dance studio, 76 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh, Wade, this is so cool. 77 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 3: I want to do this because you know, dance is 78 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 3: my life. I was performing. I love a stage, so 79 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, let let me, let me, let 80 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 3: me try and do this, Like this sounds kind of 81 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 3: fun TV. I want to be on TV, you know 82 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 3: what I mean? 83 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 2: So I love Yeah. 84 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 3: So like when I went to my parents and was 85 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 3: like I want to audition for this, for this show whatever, 86 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 3: they were a little hesitant because one they are very 87 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 3: busy people and they're like, we don't really have time 88 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 3: to do a TV show. My mom was literally a 89 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 3: principal working on her doctorate. She has two other sons, 90 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 3: she has a husband. You know what I mean, like 91 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 3: hands are yes, she her hands full, her hands very full. 92 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 3: So when I presented it, they were like, I don't know, nia, 93 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 3: like this doesn't even really sound real because that kind 94 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 3: of stuff just doesn't happen in Pittsburgh, you know what 95 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 3: I mean. They're not in the entertainment world. Uh So 96 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 3: they really were kind of hesitant, and We're like, I 97 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 3: don't know, let's not let's not do that. It sounds 98 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 3: like a scam, you know what I mean. I was persistent, 99 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 3: and of course of course I was. Of course I was. 100 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 3: So I was persistent and I kept asking because you know, 101 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 3: other girls at the dance studio were doing it. I 102 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 3: was like, you know what, like what why not? Like 103 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 3: let's let's just try it, you know, like what what's 104 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 3: the worst that can happen? You know. Finally, once they 105 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 3: like heard that it was like something kind of real, 106 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 3: you know, through the dancing, they're like, okay, it does 107 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 3: sound kind of real, like it was picked up by Lifetime. 108 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 3: They're like okay, sure, like we'll do it. And I remember, 109 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 3: like after the interview with the producer, like I got 110 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 3: back into the car, my mom's car. It's a minivan. 111 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 3: It was. I think it was the hottest course the 112 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 3: Odyssey loved the hot and she just looks at me 113 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 3: and she's like listen, Nia, like I really don't want 114 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 3: you to get your hopes up because you know, this 115 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 3: type of thing doesn't really happen that often. And she's like, 116 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 3: also like we're just too boring, like just don't get 117 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 3: your hopes up, like you're not gonna get it, like 118 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 3: don't like you seem really excited, like just kind of 119 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 3: like trying to not squash my dreams, but just like 120 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 3: keep it real with me, because she's like, this doesn't like, 121 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 3: don't get your hopes up, and I was like, oh, 122 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 3: it's okay, Like at least we tried, you know. And 123 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 3: that was one of the things like my parents wanted 124 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: me to want to instill in me, is to like 125 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 3: live a life with no regrets. And that's part of 126 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 3: the reason why they let me audition in the first place. 127 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 3: Or like I like we would have hated to like 128 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 3: not let her do it. And then it's like, oh, 129 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 3: what if it's always like the butt what if you know? 130 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 3: And then literally like a month later, I got a 131 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 3: phone call. 132 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: We got a photo, was like no. 133 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 3: No, yeah, My mom was just like, what did I 134 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 3: just get myself inteed? Yeah, but that's that's really how 135 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 3: it happened. I mean, it's very random, Like we didn't 136 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 3: even really go looking for it, just like came to 137 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 3: us and they just happened to pick my mom and 138 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 3: I for the show. 139 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's a really it's also really special, especially 140 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: as a mom who's raising black children, to see you 141 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: represented in that I think that to me is so powerful. 142 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: Did you even understand the weight of that when you 143 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: were originally one of the ogs and you were the 144 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: only little black girl on that TV show in that squad, Like, 145 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: did you really even understand how powerful that representation was 146 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 1: for little girls like my daughter? 147 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 2: Like or did that not clock at that early age, Like. 148 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: You didn't see all of the race and you didn't 149 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 1: see all of the racial undertoe, Like did you like 150 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: tell me about that like as a kid, especially as 151 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: a nine year old, or you were just like, listen, 152 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: this is fun for me and life is about joy. 153 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: At the time, nothing really clocked when it came to 154 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: you that. 155 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 3: Why, honestly, Like genuinely, I think I always kind of 156 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,719 Speaker 3: understood that, and as I got older, like it was 157 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 3: more pronounced, but like as a child, like I I 158 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 3: understood that, you know, whenever, yeah, like whenever whenever you're 159 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 3: like a black child, especially growing up in like a 160 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 3: lot of white environments, because I went to like a 161 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 3: predominantly white like private school in Pittsburgh as well. So 162 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 3: I already had the talk where it was like, Okay, 163 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 3: well you have to be twice as good. You have 164 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 3: to like don't don't don't do anything too crazy because 165 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 3: like they're gonna look at you as like you know 166 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 3: what I mean. 167 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So I. 168 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 3: Already so I already kind of knew how to move 169 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 3: through life knowing that there's a double standard. Even if 170 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 3: it wasn't like all the way there, I had an 171 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 3: unders standing of that, and whenever I joined the show, 172 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 3: it wasn't like like it wasn't any different, Like I 173 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 3: knew that, and and my mom would stress to me 174 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 3: a lot. I mean, when I was younger, like a kid, 175 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 3: it wasn't as I feel like she wouldn't have to 176 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 3: bring it up as often. But as I got older 177 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 3: and as I became more vocal, she would have to 178 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 3: like have conversations with me like nia, like you can't 179 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 3: get too upset, you can't look a certain way. And 180 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 3: it's not like it's not like she was saying, like, 181 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 3: don't be yourself, don't be you. It's not that. It's 182 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: not that. But at the same time, we have to 183 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 3: protect ourselves because if we don't protect ourselves, they're going 184 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 3: to make a story out of an I roll out 185 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 3: of me correct talking back, and it's like, I'm not 186 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 3: and it's not even me like talking back. I'm standing 187 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 3: up for myself. But because I don't have control over 188 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 3: how the story gets told, my narrative can easily get spun, 189 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So it's just always being 190 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 3: aware of that. Girls, you get labeled, and I mean 191 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 3: at the very beginning of the show, I got labeled 192 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 3: from the get go as a weak link, as a 193 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 3: bad dancer, as the little black girl who can keep up, 194 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So for me, I felt 195 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 3: like I already had like this target on my back. 196 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 3: I already was failing, you know. 197 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and that's a lot of weight to carry 198 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: as a nine year old. And I think for those 199 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: of you who didn't watch, it was like it was tough, 200 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 1: like it was there was a lot of racial undertones 201 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: and I'm sure a lot were not shown to say 202 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: face on that show, but let's just say that the teacher. 203 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 2: And we won't name names, but she was not. It 204 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 2: was very clear. 205 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: Let's just say that it was very clear how you 206 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: were being treated. The power of your mom protecting you 207 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: was so beautiful and it's it's I love it as 208 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: being a mom and the links that you'll go to 209 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: give your child the room and freedom to do what 210 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: they want, meanwhile creating like safe boundaries and guardrails to 211 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: be like absolutely not. But my question to you is 212 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: when did you realize you were being treated differently by 213 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: your dance teacher than the other kids in the class? 214 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: Like when did you clock it? 215 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 3: I think I always just kind of knew because because 216 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 3: also before the show had even started, all of my 217 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 3: solos before, like every year I would have a solo, 218 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 3: So I had like like three solos technically before the 219 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 3: show started, and each one was like had a racial 220 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 3: undertone or like a little or something like my first 221 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 3: solo was called Natty of the Jungle, and like I 222 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: didn't really like I didn't understand exactly like why at 223 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 3: the time that was like so bad. I was like 224 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 3: literally a little girl raised my baby. Yeah eight bananas, 225 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 3: you know, like what what? Yeah? Crazy? But also I 226 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 3: was like seven years old so excited to finally have 227 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 3: a solo like I that was like a dream of 228 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: mine at seven years old. So that part didn't like 229 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 3: sink in, but I knew that it was. I was 230 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 3: treated differently because other girls didn't have solos like that. 231 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 3: Other girls had really beautiful solos, really beautiful music. They 232 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 3: they wore beautiful, like cute little like leotards with skirts 233 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 3: with rhinestones, beautiful colors, and I'm like in this kind 234 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 3: of like raggedy kind of costume. It did still have 235 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 3: some rhinestones on it, but like like I felt, I 236 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 3: felt it, and like solos after that too. Like my 237 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 3: solo right before the show started was to Waka Waka, 238 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 3: the Shakira song. It was for like the World Cup, yeah, 239 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 3: and whenever Africa won. And it was just like anytime 240 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 3: like she heard my dance teacher heard like the word 241 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 3: or Africa heard Africa, she was like, oh my gosh, Nia, 242 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 3: like that's it's it's like it's like so okay, yeah, 243 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 3: it's so weird. But read a book and it's like 244 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 3: you do understand, Like yes, I'm African American, but I'm 245 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 3: also like not Africa, you know anyway. 246 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 2: Embarrassing, No, it is, it is. 247 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 3: But whenever you're so like, I understood that I had 248 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 3: like different I was treated differently, but I didn't fully 249 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 3: understand the reason. Why does that make sense? Like, I'm 250 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 3: totally I saw that. 251 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, Nia, You're like, you're a child. 252 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: How do you yeah being treated differently when you don't 253 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: even have the language for it. 254 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, It's not that hard. That's what people don't realize. 255 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 2: Like you are a seven. 256 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 1: To nine year old child who understands the weight you're 257 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: carrying because you've had to carry that probably since you 258 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: were born, and now you're like trying to process that 259 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: weight without even really having the language to do so. 260 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 3: Uh huh. 261 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 2: I just am like, how did that? 262 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: How did that shape the way you felt about yourself 263 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: when you would come home from this you know environment? 264 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 3: Well, I think for me, I have a really strong 265 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 3: family support system, you know, like I have good people 266 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 3: around me. So like when I'm not on when I 267 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 3: wasn't on set or like doing this show, like I 268 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 3: I was good at home, you know, like my mom 269 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 3: would remind me how beautiful. I was, I was important, 270 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 3: Like she would build me up, you know, So even 271 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 3: though I didn't feel like wanted or I felt like 272 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 3: I was being treated differently, and when things got really bad, 273 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 3: like I did have her to lean on. I was 274 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 3: along with like the rest of my family, like you know, yeah, 275 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 3: I think that's just the reason why I'm so well 276 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 3: adjusted today is because I had a good support. If 277 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 3: I didn't have that support, I think I think it 278 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 3: would have turned out much like it would have been, 279 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 3: it would have been different. And also, like I just 280 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 3: wanted to say, like to your point about like you're like, 281 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 3: well you didn't you couldn't even articulate like how you 282 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 3: were feeling because you were seven to nine years old 283 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 3: before the show been started, and then you were literally nine. 284 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 3: That's that's a child. That's a child. And to that point, 285 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 3: I sometimes, you know, like with releasing my book and everything, 286 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 3: the feedback has been wonderful. I spend people have been 287 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 3: so receptive, you know, but you know, there are some people. 288 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:10,959 Speaker 3: There are some people who have said, you know, like 289 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 3: like why are you talking about this now? Why Like 290 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,720 Speaker 3: this happened so long ago, why does it matter now? Why? Well, one, 291 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 3: because everyone's story matters. 292 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: One, well, I'm taking my narrative back my story, then 293 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: I'm taking my back. 294 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 3: And also, like you said, I was a child child, 295 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 3: I didn't have the bandwidth to talk about how I 296 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,439 Speaker 3: was feeling because I didn't exactly know how I felt 297 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 3: or like could could articulate how I I didn't have 298 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 3: those tools. Like even I ended the show when I 299 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 3: was like fifteen sixteen, and even at that, like you 300 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 3: have an understand but you still are, like you're still 301 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 3: child like. I look at like fifteen sixty and I'm like, 302 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, our ladies, you know what I mean. 303 00:17:55,560 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 3: So no, like because I needed time to to grow 304 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 3: up and understand everything, and maybe and I still don't 305 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 3: have every I don't still don't have everything. 306 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 2: We're all figuring it out. 307 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, But I think that's like a great point that 308 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 3: you brought up, where it's like I was a child 309 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 3: like and I was in it in your survival mode 310 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 3: when you're in it, so it's like, how are you 311 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 3: even supposed to like sort through everything and talk about 312 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 3: something when you when you're still in it and you 313 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 3: don't even really realize everything that's going on. 314 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: Stay tuned, I'll be back in just a moment after 315 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 1: this brief message from our sponsors. 316 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 2: Well, you just nailed it there. 317 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 1: You spoke about survival mode. And I'm very open about 318 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 1: what sport has given me and how grateful I am 319 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 1: for it, but also what it's taken from me. And 320 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,199 Speaker 1: it's an important question to ask, because I say this 321 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: very often. In sport and dance and organized sports single sport, 322 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: you get very comfortable abandoning yourself and your feelings for 323 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 1: the greater good of everything else, because that's what you're taught. 324 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm curious what this experience taught you, whether about perseverance, 325 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 1: but most importantly, I want to know what did it 326 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: take from you? 327 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:32,400 Speaker 2: And I know that's a kind of. 328 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: Heavy question, but I always I like to ask myself 329 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: that a lot of times, and I'll share because I 330 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: do think joy became impossible for me because if I 331 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 1: was sitting in the happiness of success, I wasn't doing 332 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 1: the work like I needed. It was always like moving 333 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: on to the next, to the next. It was you 334 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: win a World Cup, you go to an Olympics. It's 335 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: just like you don't sit in that. You just keep moving, 336 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: you keep climbing, you keep working. Harder and you keep 337 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: trying to make the next cut. And it's interesting when 338 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: I think back now as a forty year old adult, 339 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, did I even give myself a chance 340 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:23,640 Speaker 1: to enjoy it? Or was I in survival mode? It's 341 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: a really interesting thing. 342 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,879 Speaker 2: So I want to know what it taught you, but 343 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 2: also what it took from you. 344 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, so much. I mean it gave me a lot. 345 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 3: It taught me a lot, but it also it took 346 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 3: a lot, Like there was a lot of sacrifice for me, 347 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:48,400 Speaker 3: like me doing that show, you know, and and it's 348 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 3: not just like oh, like the missed birthday parties and 349 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 3: the miss special events and you're working on your birthday. 350 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 3: It's like it's not even it's not even that like 351 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 3: because I feel like a lot of people, especially like 352 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 3: in dance, who are doing sports, like they experience that, 353 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 3: you know, where it's like you have to give up 354 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 3: certain things to be able to be at a certain level, 355 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 3: to be able to travel with your team. You know. Yeah, 356 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 3: But for me, I feel like similarly to to yours, 357 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 3: like I think joy is a really is a really 358 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:30,879 Speaker 3: big part towards like the end of the show. It 359 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 3: took that emotion out of me. I was like a robot, 360 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 3: like genuine like moving like you said, like just moving 361 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 3: on to the next thing, Like I didn't really things 362 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,959 Speaker 3: got so tough and so hard where I didn't I 363 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 3: didn't even process things anymore, like I was so used 364 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 3: to it. I just felt like a punching bag. 365 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:51,679 Speaker 1: You know. 366 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 2: Oh, you were trained to be a machine, so. 367 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 3: I was trained to be a machine. And my dance teacher, 368 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 3: you know, her her phrase was save your tears for 369 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 3: the pillow. So if we cried, we get in trouble. 370 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 3: So it's like when when you're in a situation like 371 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 3: that where you're taught that crying is bad and crying 372 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 3: means you're weak, you're gonna try your best, especially as 373 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 3: the weak link, not to cry. And I'm not saying 374 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 3: I didn't ever cry, but like it was, I didn't 375 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 3: really cry that much. I kept it all in and 376 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,000 Speaker 3: later in the seasons, like you see, when I first 377 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 3: start the show, I was so happy. I was so joyful, 378 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 3: I was, you know, and and that joy you know, 379 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 3: didn't sit well with my dance teacher, you know, like 380 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 3: whenever she saw me being joyful, being happy, like she 381 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 3: try and squash it. No emotion. You shouldn't be happy. 382 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 3: You didn't win. You shouldn't be happy, you didn't do X, 383 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,439 Speaker 3: Y and Z. You shouldn't be happy. Why are you 384 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 3: too happy? You know? It's like it's it's that sort 385 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 3: of thing. So as I got older, I learned to 386 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:01,440 Speaker 3: suppress all of my emotion, whether I was happy, whether 387 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 3: it was sad. So it's just like it's easier if 388 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,120 Speaker 3: I just keep a blank face, if I just stay neutral, 389 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 3: you know, and every now and then, you know, I 390 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 3: would speak up about things. But it's like it's easier 391 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 3: if I don't have emotion, because then it kind of 392 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 3: rolls off your back. It's not true, it does not 393 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,159 Speaker 3: roll off your back. Up. 394 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I keep until it explodes. 395 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 3: Exactly exactly. So I would say, that's that's something that 396 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 3: you know that definitely was taken away from me. It 397 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 3: would be like my emotions, my in It's crazy because 398 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 3: like like I'm an end path, so I feel things 399 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 3: really deeply, so like really deeply, where like it truly 400 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 3: does like affect my mood, how other people are feeling, 401 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,439 Speaker 3: how you know. So it's like those things really do 402 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 3: affect me. So being that kind of person and then 403 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 3: like having to suppress all of that and pretend that 404 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 3: nothing fazes me. That's really hard. That's that's that's really hard. 405 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 3: And that's still something I'm working on, like not trying 406 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 3: to and I'm doing better, but it's just like that's 407 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 3: something that stays with you, and that's going to be 408 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,120 Speaker 3: like a lifelong thing that I have to to go 409 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 3: through and work on being okay with like having emotions 410 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 3: because I was taught that having emotions were bad, t weak. 411 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's interesting that you say that. And I'm 412 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: curious now as like the older version and the older 413 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: you're not You're still a child to me, but like 414 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 1: what has your like what is your relationship now with 415 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: your body and your voice and your confidence? Like how 416 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 1: has that changed now since that little girl you were 417 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: just talking about. 418 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,960 Speaker 3: I mean it's changed a lot. I mean I feel 419 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 3: like fairly comfortable in my own skin now, you know, 420 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 3: especially like the body that the body image part, you know. 421 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 3: I feel like for me, that just it took age, 422 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 3: you know, and it took just more life to just 423 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 3: like really understand like hmmm, the way my body looks 424 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 3: doesn't always like matter, you know what I mean. Like 425 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 3: it's not like actually like the biggest thing in the world, 426 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 3: the way bigger issues the way my body looks. So 427 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,879 Speaker 3: that's something that again I just feel like as a 428 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 3: as a woman as well as a woman of color. 429 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 3: Like I'm like, it's something that I'm going to think about, 430 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 3: but it's not. It's not something that is, you know, 431 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 3: in my head a lot, Like I don't think about 432 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 3: that as much, which I think is a huge win. 433 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 3: It's a huge win because uh yeah it doesn't it 434 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,880 Speaker 3: does and consume my whole my whole life. And yes, 435 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,199 Speaker 3: of course, like every like we have good days and 436 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,679 Speaker 3: bad days, and like that's just part of being a human, 437 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,399 Speaker 3: like that just happens. But I would say for the 438 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 3: most part, like I think part of it is like 439 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,240 Speaker 3: I think my mom, I think she always just mind 440 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 3: me like that, you know that I'm okay, Like I 441 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 3: look good the way I look. You know, there's nothing 442 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 3: wrong with the way I look. And I think that's 443 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 3: just part of it. I think, I think just for 444 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 3: me age and I think that there's also just like 445 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 3: a lot of other things that for me are more 446 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:48,480 Speaker 3: important than the way I look. And I think it 447 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 3: helps me keep things into perspective, you know. So I 448 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 3: think that helps me a lot. And yeah, I mean 449 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 3: I think on the show, it was it was hard 450 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 3: for me. I was always trying to like cover up 451 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 3: and stuff because like my body was changing. I was 452 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:10,640 Speaker 3: going through puberty and like we're wearing these tiny little costumes, 453 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 3: like my legs are out, like my butt is low 454 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 3: ki out like like it it's really hard to hide. 455 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 3: So like I would try my best to hide when 456 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 3: I hide my body when I could, because I was 457 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 3: just like not comfortable in it because I was I 458 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 3: wasn't comfortable and because I was I was curvy, I 459 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 3: you know, like I had hips, I had breasts, you know, 460 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 3: like it just wasn't well. 461 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 2: Bill, Yeah, Billy Billy. 462 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: Jean King said this and it hit me like a 463 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,719 Speaker 1: ton of bricks. She said, young girls are taught to 464 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: be perfect, young boys are taught to be brave. So 465 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: that identity of being perfect, having perfect hair, perfect skin, 466 00:27:55,080 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 1: perfect the perfect weight, like we carry that forever, you know, 467 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: and men want to be you know, or boys. They 468 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: want to be powerful, they want to be brave, they 469 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 1: want to be strong, right, And it's like it's such 470 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing to talk about because it is so important. 471 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: So many young girls are being molded twenty four to 472 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 1: seven through marketing, media advertising. You fucking name it to 473 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 1: be perfect, and it's like, there's no such thing as perfect. 474 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: People people used to always say. 475 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,399 Speaker 2: In training, what is it like? 476 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:35,359 Speaker 1: There was like the saying about practice makes perfect. You know, 477 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: it's hurt over and over and over, and you become 478 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: fixated on it because you think you're seeking perfection when 479 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: it does not exist. 480 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 3: Perfection does not exist. 481 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 2: It does not exist. No one is perfect, no one. 482 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: And I think it's a good thing that us women 483 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 1: have to constantly talk about because I don't want my 484 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 1: young daughter to think she has to be perfect at 485 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: everything she does to get what she needs to be 486 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: successful to do. Like we are humans. We are flawed 487 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: humans with stories and there's broken pieces and life is 488 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 1: hard and we have grief and we carry shame and 489 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: it's like we don't need the weight of everything else 490 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 1: and little girls, especially nine years. 491 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 2: Old, don't need to carry it. 492 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 1: And like, I know what it's like to be defined 493 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:37,479 Speaker 1: by one chapter. How did you trust when you stepped 494 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: away from this that you weren't going to be defined 495 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 1: by this one segment in one. 496 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 2: Chapter of your life? Because you are blooming. You are blossoming. 497 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 1: You are a New York best selling author right now, 498 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: taking your narrative back for everyone who doesn't know, NIA 499 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: just came out with a b called Bottom of the Pyramid. 500 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: So I'm curious talk about this new chapter of your 501 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: life and taking back your narrative. Tell me about why 502 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 1: you chose the name of this book. 503 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 3: Well, I think that like what you said, like, how 504 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,479 Speaker 3: did I know, like I wasn't going to be defined 505 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 3: by that or like how I was going to like 506 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 3: move through life? And it's like, honestly, like I I 507 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 3: didn't know how. I've just worked really hard to Yeah, 508 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, I didn't I didn't know 509 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 3: it was all going to work out, but like I 510 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 3: had faith that it would. But you know, I, I 511 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 3: just worked my butt off, like after the show ended, 512 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 3: like I I've been moving. I've been. I've been. I've been. 513 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 3: I've been working really hard so that hopefully one day 514 00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 3: I'm not like defined by the show and in how 515 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 3: I in my title on that show. And part of 516 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 3: the reason why I titled my book Bottom of the 517 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 3: Pyramid was because I finally realized Listen, I was like, 518 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 3: you know what, wait a minute, I am kind of 519 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 3: known for being at the bottom of the pyramid. It 520 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 3: was kind of it was my title. That was something 521 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 3: that I didn't really have any control over. But that's 522 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 3: that's how people saw me. That's how I was perceived 523 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 3: for all of my life. And I'm living my life. 524 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 3: You know, I have a beautiful life, but I'm living 525 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,719 Speaker 3: my life, and people in my head, at least I felt, 526 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,680 Speaker 3: still saw me that way. And I was like, you 527 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 3: know what, I can't control how people see me or 528 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 3: how people view me. You know, I can try my best, 529 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 3: but there's only so much you can do. You know, 530 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 3: like they don't know the But I was like, you 531 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 3: know what, they don't know the full story. So why 532 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 3: don't we take this title that's so negative and something 533 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 3: that is so hurtful and turn into something positive, turning 534 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 3: into a learning experience, turning into something that I know 535 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 3: other people probably feel the same way, like how do 536 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 3: I start from the bottom or how how how do 537 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 3: how does someone give you the title of being at 538 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 3: the bottom of the pyramid? And how do you go 539 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,000 Speaker 3: through your life like that? How do we flip it around? 540 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:40,719 Speaker 3: How do we make it into something that isn't a 541 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 3: bad thing? You know, because for a long time I 542 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 3: it was I saw it as something that was bad, 543 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 3: but really it was starting at the bottom isn't the 544 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 3: worst thing in the world. Starting at the bottom honestly 545 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: make the journey so much more reward. 546 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 2: So I wanted only one way to go, only. 547 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 3: One way to go, only one way to go. 548 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 2: You rise, we rise. 549 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,720 Speaker 3: So that was part of the reason why for me, 550 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 3: I felt like it was important to write the book, 551 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 3: but also important to title the book Bottom of the Pyramid, 552 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 3: because it's it really speaks to my story and in 553 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 3: how I grew up. 554 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: It's very beautiful and it's very powerful, and I want 555 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: to give the listeners a little context if I may, 556 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: because I know the experience you lived when we were younger. 557 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:47,240 Speaker 1: For you listeners out there, I during very similar time. 558 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: I went to college at the University of North Carolina 559 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,240 Speaker 1: in Chapel Hill, and we were all on a ranking system. 560 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: Every week you were ranked one, two, I don't know, 561 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 1: twenty seven thirty players, and every week you would get 562 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: your ranking for everything, I mean, fitness, how you dribbled 563 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: the ball, how many goals you scored, how many one 564 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,000 Speaker 1: v one Like it was just a competitive place to 565 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,440 Speaker 1: be and you always knew where you were because you 566 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: were ranked, and it was posted at the facility, not 567 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 1: just for our team, for everyone to see because it's accountability, right. 568 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: That is what happened on this show to give everyone context. 569 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:39,440 Speaker 1: You all were weekly correct scaled from top to bottom, 570 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:45,240 Speaker 1: and your face was like it was like a print out. Yeah, headshot, 571 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,239 Speaker 1: headshot of where you guys gals lined up for that 572 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: week and you were ranked top to bottom. So to 573 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: give everyone context of the way we were raised in 574 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 1: sport is very different than the way it is today. 575 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 2: I don't know if that is still a thing anymore. 576 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,359 Speaker 1: But it was hard and it was cutthroat, and there 577 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 1: was no room for misunderstanding. Why am I not playing? 578 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: Why am I not getting the lead role? A sheet 579 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 1: would be delivered and say this is how many goals 580 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: you're scoring, this is where you're ranking on fitness, this 581 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,239 Speaker 1: is where your defense is, this is the and it 582 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: just goes on and goes on and goes on. That 583 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 1: is a lot to handle for a young child. I 584 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: don't care how evolved you are, Like, there's there's no 585 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: longer fun anymore, right, and that is that steals You 586 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: talked about your light and your joy that steals the 587 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,359 Speaker 1: light and joy of why we even show up right 588 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:51,759 Speaker 1: it is you know, this isn't professional sports. This at 589 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 1: the time you're nine, ten, eleven, twelve years old, you're 590 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 1: figuring your life out. You're figuring yourself out. 591 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 2: You're going for the social aspect. 592 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 1: You're also going for the aspect of building grit, courage, companionship. 593 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,879 Speaker 1: Like you as a kid, you want friends, you want 594 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 1: to be held in the way to you know, like there's. 595 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 2: So much positive positivity. 596 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 1: That brings to your life when you talk about sport, 597 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: because it gives us so much to carry the rest 598 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:36,279 Speaker 1: of our life. I'm curious, after going through such a hard, powerful, 599 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 1: like confronting experience, what is dance like now and this 600 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 1: you know as an adult, Like how is it still 601 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 1: a part of your life and how does it show 602 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: up in your space? 603 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,479 Speaker 2: Like do you still love it? Does it still bring 604 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 2: you joy? 605 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 1: Or have you shut that door and you're not ready 606 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: to reopen that just yet. 607 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 3: I haven't shut the door on it. I actually recently 608 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,840 Speaker 3: start just started taking ballet classes again. 609 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 2: Oh I love that. 610 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I found a lot of joy in that. 611 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 3: It's been It's been fun and it's a challenge, like 612 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,800 Speaker 3: seeing my body in a black leotardan and pining tights 613 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:29,280 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm like I can again. But it's good. 614 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 3: It's good. It's like going back to my roots, you know, 615 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,719 Speaker 3: and being in a positive space to do it where 616 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 3: it's like I can be care free, I could make mistakes. 617 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,359 Speaker 3: I don't have to be I don't feel like I perfect. Yes, 618 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 3: So it's been a great way for me to like 619 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,360 Speaker 3: connect back. 620 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,920 Speaker 2: To my roots and find that love and very yeah. 621 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 3: Find that love. It's been grounding. And yeah, I don't 622 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,040 Speaker 3: think I'm ever gonna give up dance. I think I'm 623 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 3: always going to be dancing, even if I like it 624 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,240 Speaker 3: take a little break because I busy, Like, I'm gonna 625 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,359 Speaker 3: always keep dance in my life because it's taught me 626 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 3: so much. It's I mean, dance is good for your body, 627 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 3: you know, like it's it's an it's expression, you know, 628 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 3: like it's it's good for your soul, you know what 629 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:23,760 Speaker 3: I mean. So I want to continue dancing also because 630 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:30,360 Speaker 3: you know, I I work in the entertainment industry and 631 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 3: I want to continue with acting and all those things, 632 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,799 Speaker 3: and I know dance is going to help me with that, 633 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,920 Speaker 3: I know dance is going to guide me through that. 634 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 3: It's going to always come in handy, you know what 635 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:46,520 Speaker 3: I mean. So for me and dance is always going 636 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 3: to be a part of me, no matter what you know. 637 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:54,480 Speaker 3: And I think being at this age now, like I 638 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,360 Speaker 3: know that, for like, dance is always going to be 639 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 3: a part of me. If you would have asked me 640 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,839 Speaker 3: probably like seven or eight years, I'm like, I don't know, 641 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,400 Speaker 3: like it might not be for me anymore, but I 642 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,800 Speaker 3: truly like believe that dance is always going to be 643 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 3: a part of my life. Yeah. So right now, I 644 00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:17,920 Speaker 3: dance for fun. I dance because it feels good, because 645 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 3: it brings me joy, And I've taken a lot of 646 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,399 Speaker 3: the pressure off of it because it's not because it's 647 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 3: not necessary. 648 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,439 Speaker 2: Because it's not necessarily it's good. 649 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, finding that joy in that 650 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 1: light that gave you so much purpose and an identity 651 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: before the cameras stole that from you a little bit. 652 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 2: Stay tuned. 653 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: I'll be back in just a moment after this brief 654 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: message from our sponsors. Writing this book Bottom of the Pyramid, 655 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 1: being a New York Time best selling author, getting I 656 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,360 Speaker 1: mean a lot of people love this book. A lot 657 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: of people. There's so much buzz about it. Do you 658 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,160 Speaker 1: feel like the book gave you closure? 659 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 3: The book definitely gave me closer to tell my side 660 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 3: of the story, and like I still understand, like I'm 661 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,399 Speaker 3: not not stupid, Like I understand, like some people aren't 662 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 3: going to read it. Some people aren't going to care. 663 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,799 Speaker 3: Some people, I'm like, I'm not going to change their 664 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 3: minds are still going to be like, well you just 665 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,040 Speaker 3: weren't good enough and that and you just can't hand 666 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 3: okay whatever, Like there's not like you know, I you know, 667 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,480 Speaker 3: the book, Yes, it's it is for other people. It's 668 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,840 Speaker 3: for people to at least see me and see that 669 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,680 Speaker 3: like they can get through whatever they're going through, like 670 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 3: to show them that it does get better. But also 671 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,719 Speaker 3: the book, the book was for me. The book was 672 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 3: for like that little girl who started the show, who 673 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 3: wasn't able to talk about how she felt, who wasn't 674 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 3: able to express how she was feeling or how things 675 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 3: went down or you know, so so first and foremost 676 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,000 Speaker 3: like the book was for me, like for that little 677 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 3: girl to finally get her story told. You know, whether 678 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,799 Speaker 3: you know, like whether people want to listen like that's 679 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 3: their business. But but I'm grateful for how many people 680 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,400 Speaker 3: have picked up the book, have read it, have listened 681 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 3: to it. It's it really does mean a lot to me, 682 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 3: and I don't think people like, like, I hope people 683 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 3: understand that, you know, because I That's why I kind 684 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,879 Speaker 3: of like, I love going on tour for the book 685 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 3: because I've been able to meet people and talk to them. 686 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,640 Speaker 3: But I just hope people realize how much it means 687 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:47,120 Speaker 3: to me that they care, and they care still even 688 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,720 Speaker 3: after all this time, even if I wasn't the best answer, 689 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 3: that they understand that I don't care if I was 690 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 3: the best answer. I don't care if I wasn't the 691 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,440 Speaker 3: best answer. It does not give someone the right to 692 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,280 Speaker 3: treat a child that way. I'm sorry, but it doesn't. 693 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,080 Speaker 3: And sometimes and people love to use that as a scapegoat. 694 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,520 Speaker 3: They're like, well, you just weren't good. It's like, even 695 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 3: if I wasn't good, it still does not give someone 696 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 3: that right to treat me poorly, to treat me like 697 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 3: garbage to you know. So it's a good discussion and 698 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,359 Speaker 3: I'm happy that I'm able to talk about it because 699 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,279 Speaker 3: it brings up a whole nother discussion about not just 700 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,640 Speaker 3: not just like dance in the entertainment industry, but just 701 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,719 Speaker 3: mental health in general. You know. So we're part of 702 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,600 Speaker 3: so many different conversations about mental health, about race, about 703 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,120 Speaker 3: growing growing up in the entertainment industry. So it brings 704 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 3: up a lot of different graphics that I'm finally able 705 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:49,360 Speaker 3: to talk about and and I know that it's helping 706 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,120 Speaker 3: people because people have told me that it's helped them, 707 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,279 Speaker 3: So I'm happy. Yeah, this is. 708 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:58,560 Speaker 1: What we spoke about at the beginning of the show, 709 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:04,399 Speaker 1: is now you do have the language to articulate the 710 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:09,919 Speaker 1: feelings and the things you had to walk through at 711 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 1: such an early age, and now stepping into the entertainment industry. 712 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,719 Speaker 2: I know you're in the music industry. How do you 713 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 2: protect your. 714 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:24,879 Speaker 1: Peace now after growing up in that dance studio when 715 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,200 Speaker 1: you didn't have any. 716 00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:32,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, for me, I feel like I'm definitely still a 717 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:36,439 Speaker 3: work in progress. I'm still trying to figure that part out, 718 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:41,320 Speaker 3: if I'm being honest. Yeah, but I think some things 719 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 3: that just helped me is like more taking more time 720 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,560 Speaker 3: to myself. I'm always as kind of like like you said, 721 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,400 Speaker 3: onto the next thing, and like not really like you know, 722 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,480 Speaker 3: just I'm I have a lot of goals. I'm a 723 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 3: very ambitious person, but sometimes I forget to slow down. 724 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,040 Speaker 3: So slowing down every now and then and filling my 725 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:07,520 Speaker 3: own cup doing whatever that may be something for me 726 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:12,799 Speaker 3: that has been awesome for protecting my peace. But then 727 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 3: also just like grounding myself, getting my head right. You know, 728 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 3: it's it's something that I can do that's like, okay, 729 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,839 Speaker 3: you're doing this for yourself. I do hot yoga. I 730 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 3: love it. I like it's something that centers me, it 731 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 3: grounds me. So I just for for me. Movement and 732 00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:35,360 Speaker 3: always moving my body, that's something that brings me peace. 733 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 3: It always quiets my mind. So that's just something that 734 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,400 Speaker 3: I that I take with me And part of the 735 00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 3: reason why I started, you know, I continue to dance 736 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:51,640 Speaker 3: is because you know it movement helps always, even if 737 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,879 Speaker 3: it doesn't make you feel one hundred percent better, it'll 738 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,759 Speaker 3: make you feel one percent better, you know what I mean, 739 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,720 Speaker 3: Like it does, it helps, it helps. 740 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,239 Speaker 1: But what I'm resonnating, like I hear you and what 741 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:07,160 Speaker 1: you're saying, I think as you grow and you mature 742 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 1: and you find yourself in every phase because we're always evolving, 743 00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:18,240 Speaker 1: I think women, especially as they get older, you realize 744 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,760 Speaker 1: that your nose become just as powerful as your yeses. 745 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,879 Speaker 1: And I think when we were younger, it was yes, yes, yes, sure, 746 00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,719 Speaker 1: I'll do this, I'll do And like I think in 747 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,880 Speaker 1: these I hope for you in these next phases, when 748 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,879 Speaker 1: you're talking about filling your cup up and your boundaries 749 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:40,840 Speaker 1: and your process and protecting your mental and physical health, 750 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,560 Speaker 1: that your nose are just as powerful as your yeses. 751 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,359 Speaker 1: And I think that's really really hard for women, and 752 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:52,799 Speaker 1: especially in the industry we live in and sport and entertainment, 753 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,400 Speaker 1: It's like we want to say yes to everything, and 754 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,279 Speaker 1: we wear ourselves so thin, and especially being an EmPATH 755 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:03,160 Speaker 1: and someone who is born to serve other people, you 756 00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:06,200 Speaker 1: lose yourself in that process of saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, 757 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,879 Speaker 1: yes yes, And like that is my hope for you, 758 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,960 Speaker 1: is that you're comfortable enough to have that boundary to 759 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,120 Speaker 1: say no and to really understand what your body is 760 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,520 Speaker 1: asking of you so you can give it to yourself 761 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,000 Speaker 1: and feed your soul. 762 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,920 Speaker 2: And I'm curious, like, what message do you. 763 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,720 Speaker 1: Want your readers to walk away with with this book. 764 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 1: I know you said this book is about you but 765 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 1: it has so much power and taking back your own 766 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,640 Speaker 1: wants and needs and narrative and things that were stolen 767 00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,720 Speaker 1: from you at such an early age, but also accountability. 768 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:49,759 Speaker 1: There's just so many great parts to this and for 769 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,520 Speaker 1: our audience out there, like what do you want them 770 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,200 Speaker 1: most importantly, if you've ever been misunderstood, which we all 771 00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 1: are all the time, what do you want them to 772 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:02,200 Speaker 1: take away from this book? 773 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,160 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, there's there's so much. I mean, I think 774 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:10,960 Speaker 3: for a personal personal level, for for me, I just 775 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,719 Speaker 3: I just want people to see me because for so 776 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,200 Speaker 3: long I felt hidden. I felt like I, you know, 777 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,799 Speaker 3: was just a backup dancer, you know. So I just 778 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,880 Speaker 3: I really for me, I just I wanted people to 779 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 3: see me for me and to understand like who I 780 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 3: was and the kind of person I am and everything 781 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,919 Speaker 3: that I went through. But then also at a different level, 782 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:40,920 Speaker 3: because yes, this book's for me, but it's also another 783 00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,360 Speaker 3: reason why it's important is because I know that my 784 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 3: story resonates with a lot of people, because a lot 785 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,040 Speaker 3: of people have had similar stories, Like it's. 786 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:51,960 Speaker 2: Not that uncommon, you know, yeah, yeah. 787 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,239 Speaker 3: Mine just happened to be televised and slightly different, but 788 00:47:56,120 --> 00:48:00,960 Speaker 3: people have very similar experiences in sports, being a black 789 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,560 Speaker 3: girl in white spaces, you know, like so it's like 790 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:08,360 Speaker 3: it's being the underdog like people people have the same 791 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:14,799 Speaker 3: experience is just different, you know. And I wanted this 792 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:19,160 Speaker 3: book to be some beacon of hope. Uh that's that's 793 00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,839 Speaker 3: really what I want it to be. Because things get 794 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,480 Speaker 3: hard and it gets really tough. But I think it's 795 00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:28,280 Speaker 3: really important for people to always understand that things always 796 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 3: get better. And I think my book is like a 797 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:36,279 Speaker 3: really good example of that because I went through so much. 798 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:41,080 Speaker 3: You know, it's really crazy, really awful, really terrible things 799 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 3: at times, really sad at times, but I always showed 800 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,920 Speaker 3: up for myself. And you know, when you continue to 801 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,880 Speaker 3: keep showing up for yourself even whenever things get hard, 802 00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:57,239 Speaker 3: it's gonna be okay. Like you're gonna you're gonna get 803 00:48:57,239 --> 00:49:00,120 Speaker 3: out of it, and you're gonna you're gonna always be okay, 804 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 3: you know, no matter what anyone says, it's beautiful. And 805 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,000 Speaker 3: I think that's I just and I think that's really important. 806 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 3: I think it's a really important message for for everyone, 807 00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 3: but specifically like young readers or like young young people, 808 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,759 Speaker 3: like for them to see like okay, like it's going 809 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:22,720 Speaker 3: to get okay. It's always going to be okay. And yeah, 810 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,799 Speaker 3: so that's probably the biggest message. 811 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,759 Speaker 1: That's powerful and beautiful, and I want you to know 812 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:34,960 Speaker 1: I see you and thank you for your honesty, your leadership, 813 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:40,840 Speaker 1: your grace, the impact you've had on so many young girls, 814 00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 1: especially those who needed to see someone endure but also evolve. 815 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 1: I think that is the message, and it's so beautiful 816 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:55,600 Speaker 1: and it's so powerful. Thank you for your honesty, your vulnerability. 817 00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:00,120 Speaker 1: I know this probably was not easy to go go 818 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,360 Speaker 1: back and walk this pain to write this book, So 819 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,200 Speaker 1: thank you for doing that and being brave enough to 820 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,239 Speaker 1: do that. And yes, everyone out there, please go check 821 00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,040 Speaker 1: out Nia's book, Bottom of the Pyramid. 822 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:15,080 Speaker 2: You won't be disappointed. It's a beautiful book. 823 00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,640 Speaker 1: Thank you for being on wide Open, Nia, I really 824 00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:18,759 Speaker 1: really appreciate it. 825 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,439 Speaker 3: Thanks Ashlyn, I really appreciate it as well. 826 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,640 Speaker 1: Before we go, I want to just say thank you Nia, 827 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,600 Speaker 1: not just for sharing your story, but for sharing it 828 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:32,680 Speaker 1: with such honesty, grace, and intention. Growing up in the 829 00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:36,440 Speaker 1: spotlight can either harden you or help you find yourself, 830 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:41,160 Speaker 1: and Nia's journey is such a powerful reminder that you 831 00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:46,480 Speaker 1: can move through pressure and expectation without losing your softness 832 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:51,240 Speaker 1: or your integrity. Her story isn't about surviving a moment, 833 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:56,759 Speaker 1: It's about evolving beyond it. If you're listening and you're 834 00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,719 Speaker 1: in the season of redefining who you are, I hope 835 00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:04,320 Speaker 1: today conversation reminded you that you get to choose your pace, 836 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:09,319 Speaker 1: your boundaries, and most importantly, your joy. Thank you for 837 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:13,000 Speaker 1: being here, for listening, and for staying wide open with me. 838 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:14,480 Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.