WEBVTT - I Choose...Believing I'm Good Enough with Julie Bowen

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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<v Speaker 1>the choices we make and where they lead us. I

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<v Speaker 1>love this podcast because I get to sit down and

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<v Speaker 1>have really cool, insightful conversations with people I respect and admire,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we all collectively learn from one another. What

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<v Speaker 1>could be better? My guest today is known for playing

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<v Speaker 1>the beloved character Claire Dumpy on Modern Family, which she

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<v Speaker 1>received two Emmys for. She's starring in the new Peacock

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<v Speaker 1>show Hysteria, coming out in October. She's hilarious, brave, and

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<v Speaker 1>just an all around badass woman. Please welcome Julie Bowen

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<v Speaker 1>to the I Choose Me podcast. I just saw you

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<v Speaker 1>this morning on my TV. Actually, I saw your commercial.

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<v Speaker 2>For words and is it WhatsApp?

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<v Speaker 1>Nope, Nope, not that one. The eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>Drawn Yah, that's right, that's right, that started airing. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I actually have eye problems since so I'm doing and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing a partnership with them. I love that about

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<v Speaker 2>the eye drops. Yes, they're actually saving my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's good. The best part is that my husband

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<v Speaker 1>was in that commercial with Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you can see him, I mean a second. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was really fun to see him. He's so handsome.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh thanks, Yeah, Like I noticed him as I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, what a handsome man. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>don't talk to handsome man, you know, like you don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to ever talk to like somebody really good looking

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<v Speaker 2>on a set because it just, I don't know, could

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<v Speaker 2>get concentuated. Yeah, I could make it weird. And then

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<v Speaker 2>he came over and he's like, you know, you know

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<v Speaker 2>my wife Jenny Gart And I was like, oh my god, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm totally talking to you. I don't care. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>care how good looking you are. Now I'm talking to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I was so glad. I was like, you better talk

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<v Speaker 1>to her because he kind of to do his own

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<v Speaker 1>he loves doing his commercials.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he's you got a good looking one.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to go. Can we start at your beginning

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<v Speaker 1>because I find these stories fascinating. So tell me about

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<v Speaker 1>the kind of household that you grew up in. I

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<v Speaker 1>know that you were in Maryland, right, was that where you.

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<v Speaker 3>Grew up in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I grew up in Baltimore, just outside of the city,

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<v Speaker 2>so it was suburbia, but it was still Baltimore with

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<v Speaker 2>two sisters, no boys, and went to all girls' schools

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<v Speaker 2>and like never did not know what to do with

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<v Speaker 2>a boy. I did not have a boy in my

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<v Speaker 2>class until I was fourteen and I went to boarding school.

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<v Speaker 1>Whoa, yeah, that's a culture shock.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but then I end up with three boys for kids,

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<v Speaker 2>I've got three. I've got a seventeen year old and

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<v Speaker 2>two fifteen year olds and they're all boys. And I

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<v Speaker 2>literally had just been lost since day one because I

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<v Speaker 2>grew up with old girls.

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<v Speaker 1>That's so funny you say, you're one of three girls.

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<v Speaker 1>So I thought always that I would have three boys,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I just knew when I grow up, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have three sons. And then I grew up and I

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<v Speaker 1>had three daughters. Yeah, so exact opposite of you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. No, I've seen your girls on social media and

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<v Speaker 2>they are so gorgeous? Is it? I mean, are they

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<v Speaker 2>all out of the house? No?

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, just one of them is out of the house,

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<v Speaker 1>one officially, but the other one is like biting at

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<v Speaker 1>the bit to get out of the house. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>well where are.

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<v Speaker 2>They gonna go? Like, come on, your house is gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be nicer than whatever, shiny apartment right.

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<v Speaker 1>And nobody's gonna be cooking for them and cleaning for them, doing.

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<v Speaker 2>Their laundry, folding their laundry and little packages.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, uh huh No, there's gonna be a reality moment

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<v Speaker 1>for my youngest daughter when she goes to college. I think.

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<v Speaker 2>So you still have seen but you still have two

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<v Speaker 2>at home and one is still in high they're both

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<v Speaker 2>still in high school.

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<v Speaker 1>I have one that's in New York. She's a career woman.

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<v Speaker 1>I have one that is Lola, who's twenty one, who

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<v Speaker 1>was in school in New York. She moved back home.

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<v Speaker 1>Now she's going to school out here. She's living at home.

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<v Speaker 1>I could not be happier. And then my daughter who's

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<v Speaker 1>going into our senior year this year. Oh wow, she.

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<v Speaker 2>To were senior year. We have kids. I have a

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<v Speaker 2>rising senior.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, you have a seventeen year old.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. They all know each other through social media and

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<v Speaker 2>they all hang out because you're living in studio city

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<v Speaker 2>Ish Hills.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm out of the city a little bit more

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<v Speaker 1>now we moved out east.

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<v Speaker 2>Which does she go to school in She does?

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<v Speaker 1>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I wonder if they know each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I bet they do. Its like a it's like the

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<v Speaker 1>biggest city ever. But somehow they all know each other.

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<v Speaker 2>They all know each other from Snapchat. They literally look

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<v Speaker 2>on snap maps and they're like, I mean my kids

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<v Speaker 2>anytime I drive, we're driving down the street and they

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<v Speaker 2>see a group of it's like so and so. Then yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know those kids. Keep going. I'm like, just verify

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<v Speaker 2>that you know them and then keep up.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, isn't that creepy? They know where everybody is all

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<v Speaker 1>the time?

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<v Speaker 2>Now, I know, I know. It's really weird. It's really

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<v Speaker 2>weird because there's nothing more disturbing than me. I always

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<v Speaker 2>a turning off my location services, uh, you know, unless

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<v Speaker 2>I need them to be on. The weird feeling of

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<v Speaker 2>being followed or tracked freaks me out. And these kids

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<v Speaker 2>are so native to this idea of everybody knows where

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<v Speaker 2>everybody is all the time. Just deal with it.

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<v Speaker 1>Who do you share your location with? Do you share

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<v Speaker 1>your location with anyone?

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<v Speaker 2>I only share it with my kids for oh, and

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<v Speaker 2>my life wife. I have a Rachel is my Rachel

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<v Speaker 2>Field is my producing partner and my like if I

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<v Speaker 2>was if I was lucky enough to be gay, she

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<v Speaker 2>would be my person forever. But we're both straight, and

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<v Speaker 2>we spend like eighteen hours a day together and so yes,

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<v Speaker 2>we share our locations with each other.

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<v Speaker 1>That's good, that's it. Yeah, I share mine with my

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<v Speaker 1>best friend Adele, And I would have to say she's

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<v Speaker 1>my life wife too. I wish I could be gay

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<v Speaker 1>because if I think, it would be so amazing to

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<v Speaker 1>be married to her.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I am married to Rachel, Like she has

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<v Speaker 2>a room in my home, Like, oh, my love, she

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<v Speaker 2>is my life wife. She has a boyfriend, and I

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<v Speaker 2>am so excited for her because she's younger and she's

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get married and have babies. I can't wait. But

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<v Speaker 2>she's my person, and it's really important to have a

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<v Speaker 2>person and not just a dude, you know. Yeah, women

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<v Speaker 2>are women in friendships. I've been thinking about this so

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<v Speaker 2>much lately. Like, I mean that women used to be

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<v Speaker 2>you couldn't hang out, Like if somebody was claimed called

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<v Speaker 2>a witch in you know, the sixteen hundreds, everybody had

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<v Speaker 2>to stay away from her or else you'd be called

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<v Speaker 2>a witch. And there's always been this historical process of

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<v Speaker 2>keeping women separated because if they're together, it's what too powerful,

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<v Speaker 2>too scary.

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<v Speaker 1>They're afraid of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, and I'm what are you afraid of? You

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<v Speaker 2>make everything better?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm happy to be a witch.

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<v Speaker 2>Sign me up. I have some really good witch friends.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a one friend who is a terrific witch,

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<v Speaker 2>and she freaks me out. Sometimes. She knows way more

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<v Speaker 2>than like you don't tell I don't tell her anything.

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<v Speaker 2>She knows everything. She gives me all sorts of She's like, here,

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<v Speaker 2>carry this crystal. I'm like what, And then I'm like

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<v Speaker 2>why is it burning my hand? And she's like just nodding.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, okay, So you went to an ivy league college, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I did. What did you study? Did you went to Brown?

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<v Speaker 2>So?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you study acting? There was that like what you

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<v Speaker 1>thought you were going to go into.

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<v Speaker 2>I always thought I was gonna do like we would

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<v Speaker 2>put on plays in our yard. That's what we did.

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<v Speaker 2>My mom was not into television. It was you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the seventies early eighties, like benign neglect, like get out

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<v Speaker 2>and come back for dinner. She literally got one of

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<v Speaker 2>those triangles d D.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It was huge, though, like one of those big, like

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<v Speaker 2>branch style ones that she could ring when it was

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<v Speaker 2>time to come home, so you could hear it all

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<v Speaker 2>over the neighborhood. We knew we weren't allowed to cross

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<v Speaker 2>like the big street, but otherwise we were like wild animals.

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<v Speaker 2>It was fantastic, and we would It was a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of girls in our neighborhood. There was a couple boys,

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<v Speaker 2>but we didn't pay a whole lot of attention to them.

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<v Speaker 2>And we put on plays. That's what we did. That

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<v Speaker 2>would be our project. And we put on these very

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<v Speaker 2>elaborate productions. But my older sister, you know, families label

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<v Speaker 2>you and you get like your role. You were the

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<v Speaker 2>lawyer or and she was the actress, and I then

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<v Speaker 2>had to be something else.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, what did you choose? Well, what

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<v Speaker 1>did you I was.

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<v Speaker 2>Supposed to be the artist, and then my younger sister

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<v Speaker 2>was always the doctor, and she did become a doctor.

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<v Speaker 2>And then my oldest sister and I Mollie, and I

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<v Speaker 2>eventually flip flopped. She is an artist and I'm actress.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, they had you pegged wrong. I love

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<v Speaker 1>that they did.

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<v Speaker 2>So. In college, I was really scared of all the actors.

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<v Speaker 2>Brown had a very fancy theater department, and I always

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<v Speaker 2>felt like they were terrifying and so thinking that I

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<v Speaker 2>was supposed to be the artist, I studied art history

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<v Speaker 2>and I became a Renaissance studies major.

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<v Speaker 1>Whoa it was.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I went to Italy, lived there for a year.

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<v Speaker 2>I spoke fluent Italian, and I was just like, I

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<v Speaker 2>guess that's what my major is. And then at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, school cost a lot less. My parents were

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<v Speaker 2>pretty awesome about education. They said, study whatever you want

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<v Speaker 2>in college. Grad school is where you really focus, and

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<v Speaker 2>something that we would never say to our kids now

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<v Speaker 2>because we're like, it's eighty thousand dollars a year. It out.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like, okay, and then at the end

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<v Speaker 2>of college, I said I want to go to grad

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<v Speaker 2>school for acting. I started doing acting at Brown and

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<v Speaker 2>this indie film came to town. And this is like

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<v Speaker 2>ninety one, so it was like literally film in a

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<v Speaker 2>film camera, and the opportunity to get film on yourself

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<v Speaker 2>was that was hard back then, Like it didn't just magically.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody didn't have.

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<v Speaker 1>A phone, right, You couldn't just film yourself, right.

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<v Speaker 2>So I got the lead in this little indie film

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<v Speaker 2>that was really cool and black and white and super

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<v Speaker 2>artsy and awesome, and I was like, oh, I love this.

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing some plays, but I was like this.

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<v Speaker 2>I loved doing film right away. I was like, it's

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<v Speaker 2>so collaborative. This wasn't this feeling of like you're all

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<v Speaker 2>alone on stage. It was like there's the guy with

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<v Speaker 2>the boom pole and somebody's holding a light. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, this is so fun. And so right

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<v Speaker 2>away I got that bug. And so I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>go to grad school for acting. And my parents like, not,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not what we met. We met like the lawyer,

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<v Speaker 2>like master's degree, and God bless them. They were like,

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<v Speaker 2>if that's your chosen path, you're on your own. And

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<v Speaker 2>so I moved to New York and waited a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of tables and started taking a bunch of classes and

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<v Speaker 2>got an agent and did a bunch of really silly commercials.

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<v Speaker 2>But they paid the bills. And you know, I clearly

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<v Speaker 2>still do commercials because they still pay the bills.

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<v Speaker 1>God love them. Ah, you want to go back to

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<v Speaker 1>You've You've chosen to talk about this before you struggled

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<v Speaker 1>when you're a teenager with eating disorders? Yeah, body image issues?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, when.

0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you think that started for you? And do you remember,

0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:54.920
<v Speaker 1>like what was the tipping point that made you get help?

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Well, I was I was. And again it's like

0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.920
<v Speaker 2>language we would never use now, and I just have

0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:06.600
<v Speaker 2>to like preface it because we said things so casually

0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.920
<v Speaker 2>then that were we would never say to a child now.

0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:13.960
<v Speaker 2>But I was like the fat kid, and it wasn't fat.

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 2>And if you if I was walking around now as

0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.440
<v Speaker 2>a you know, twelve year old, you wouldn't ever say that.

0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:27.600
<v Speaker 2>But beauty standards were really different. And I was in

0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 2>elementary school until you know, sixth grade, and my two

0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:35.679
<v Speaker 2>best friends were ballerinas. So they were these lithe, gorgeous spinning,

0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:38.520
<v Speaker 2>spinning and they both ended up leaving Baltimore to become

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.560
<v Speaker 2>professional dancers at thirteen. One went to the Royal Ballet

0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:46.880
<v Speaker 2>and one went to American Ballet. And you know, they

0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.959
<v Speaker 2>were fantastic and fun and they happened to have these

0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:54.920
<v Speaker 2>beautiful bodies. But I was always compare and despair and

0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:58.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like the chunky one. I was like, I

0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:01.400
<v Speaker 2>always felt like they're friend. They never said that to me.

0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 2>This was all an internal dialogue. And then I had

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 2>an opportunity that summer between sixth and seventh grade going

0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:12.120
<v Speaker 2>to a new school. I'm like reinvention, I'm going to

0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:16.839
<v Speaker 2>start that. I'm going to lose weight, and I did,

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.360
<v Speaker 2>and I was really good at it, and I felt

0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 2>it felt great. It actually felt really good. And then

0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:29.840
<v Speaker 2>it became a thing where you can't go back. You know,

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 2>going back somehow is a failure, and but going forward,

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.079
<v Speaker 2>even I knew, I was like, you can't go forward forever.

0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:38.560
<v Speaker 2>You can't. You can't lose weight until you don't you're

0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.720
<v Speaker 2>at your birth weight, you know, like seven pounds is

0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.160
<v Speaker 2>not my goal. But I think I discovered in that

0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:51.240
<v Speaker 2>a sense of a false sense of control, and also

0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:56.640
<v Speaker 2>so much positive feedback at first, and then you sort

0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.160
<v Speaker 2>of crossed this line. Then you look great, You look

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 2>so great. How do you do it? Oh my god,

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.040
<v Speaker 2>you're so amazing. It was so disciplined, incredible, and then

0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:09.120
<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden, one day goes that's enough. Oh wait,

0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:13.080
<v Speaker 2>what changed? But they were right, I mean, my poor parents,

0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.440
<v Speaker 2>God bless them, were like, oh, we have three girls.

0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Of course, we got one with an eating disorder, and

0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:22.680
<v Speaker 2>they did every intervention that they could and put me therapy.

0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:27.880
<v Speaker 2>But honestly, it was not until the advent of prozac,

0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:33.200
<v Speaker 2>God love you Prozac, that I really was able to

0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.520
<v Speaker 2>turn the volume down on that internal dialogue that I

0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 2>had to look a certain way and fit to a

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:46.360
<v Speaker 2>certain size, that that noise finally got turned down.

0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you went on medication. Help you with those yes,

0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 1>negative thoughts? Interesting? Well, how old were you?

0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I was eight nineteen. I mean i've been and I've

0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.200
<v Speaker 2>been struggling like I was, you know, I was. I'd

0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:02.280
<v Speaker 2>get a little better and then I get a lot worse,

0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:05.240
<v Speaker 2>and then you know, they didn't have medication back then.

0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it wasn't just came out because we're about

0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:09.520
<v Speaker 2>the same age.

0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:14.280
<v Speaker 1>And I remember going on prozac very young as well, Yeah.

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.440
<v Speaker 2>And being like and all my friends were like, I

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.760
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to. I thought, oh no, this is so weird.

0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:22.840
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was like, you know, psych meds, you

0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 2>know where you think of like lithium and thorisine and

0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:26.160
<v Speaker 2>people sort of drooling.

0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:31.280
<v Speaker 2>But I had a really wonderful doctor in Maryland, in

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 2>Baltimore who was out of Johns Hopkins. And he came

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:39.560
<v Speaker 2>to my house, the nicest man alive. And I went

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.040
<v Speaker 2>to his office. But he drew a map of like

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.360
<v Speaker 2>this sort of wave, and he drew a line and

0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:50.200
<v Speaker 2>he drew this wave, and he said, normal is a wave.

0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 2>It goes up and down, life goes up and down,

0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:57.720
<v Speaker 2>and he goes, but normal should go across this line

0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.880
<v Speaker 2>of oh I feel good, feels so good, and you're

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:07.840
<v Speaker 2>experiencing your whole life below the line, and I was like, oh, so,

0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.200
<v Speaker 2>I would you know? At best, I was still pretty

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:15.480
<v Speaker 2>bummed out. I was depressed, and he and everybody was

0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 2>trying to sort of treat this eating thing. And I

0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 2>was like, he explained to me, and rightly, so it's

0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.720
<v Speaker 2>not an eating thing. It's a mental thing, and it

0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:29.040
<v Speaker 2>is really a function of your depression and anxiety, and

0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 2>this is how you're managing it. He was right. When

0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:38.720
<v Speaker 2>you're really hungry and you're really limiting your ability to

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 2>express yourself, you limit your feelings as well. And I

0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:45.720
<v Speaker 2>was like, this is working. I'm not having any feelings.

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:47.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm like half dead. It's awesome.

0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:55.160
<v Speaker 2>So and prozac just it's like I went to hear

0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:58.640
<v Speaker 2>like it was like the light turned on. It took

0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 2>four six weeks, and just remember being in an argument

0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.720
<v Speaker 2>with my boyfriend at the time, who would really get

0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 2>to me and upset me, and all of a sudden

0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.440
<v Speaker 2>I started laughing. He goes, what are you laughing about

0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.280
<v Speaker 2>and I said, I'm laughing because this is a whole

0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:16.000
<v Speaker 2>conversation is bullshit. This is ridiculous. And I realized, oh

0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:21.359
<v Speaker 2>my god, I'm touching something normal. I don't have to

0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.800
<v Speaker 2>take everything so seriously and horribly. And it was a

0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:28.080
<v Speaker 2>huge game changer, and I've always I'm happy to admit

0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:29.880
<v Speaker 2>that I've been on Prozex. It's the dawn of time

0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.440
<v Speaker 2>because it changed my life.

0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.640
<v Speaker 1>And it's worked for you throughout the years of your life,

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.240
<v Speaker 1>like you didn't have to change medications or.

0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I thought, you know, everybody goes through different periods where

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:45.960
<v Speaker 2>I would go off of it and be like, I

0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.399
<v Speaker 2>don't need this, right right, I do.

0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.639
<v Speaker 1>That's like the story of it all. Like you're like,

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm great, I don't need this anymore. I'm going to

0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:55.880
<v Speaker 1>just go off of it for a while, and then

0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:58.440
<v Speaker 1>you just it starts to creep back in.

0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:03.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and yes, I try. And then I I when

0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:05.959
<v Speaker 2>I I was trying to get pregnant, I thought, okay,

0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.600
<v Speaker 2>I needed to be like holistically pure and clean and

0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 2>nothing in me. And that was a terrible idea because

0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:14.680
<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, why would I bring a child into

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 2>this world? Because this immediately just went back into some

0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.920
<v Speaker 2>major depression. And I went and I saw a woman

0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:26.159
<v Speaker 2>at UCLA who did a study on women depression and

0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy and stuff. And I waited and waited to get

0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.399
<v Speaker 2>into her, and I paid a fortune and I go

0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 2>in and fifteen minutes she goes, looks at my chart,

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.480
<v Speaker 2>looks everything. She goes, You're on twenty miligrams of prozac.

0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 2>It's like spitting into the ocean. Take your drugs, Take

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.960
<v Speaker 2>your meds. And I was like, what, I waited months

0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 2>for this. She's like, it's not going to do anything

0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to your baby. You're going to be absolutely fine. I

0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:54.880
<v Speaker 2>did go down, just like to ten milligrams, baby, because

0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:58.040
<v Speaker 2>I still felt like, I don't you know, you're creating

0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:01.160
<v Speaker 2>something in your body. Yeah, And I thought, if they

0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:04.280
<v Speaker 2>all fail third grade, it's going to be my fault.

0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Did did any of them fail?

0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.440
<v Speaker 2>No grade, no memories, fail third grade? They're all perfectly

0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 2>normal and healthy. And we talk about mental health, and

0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:17.159
<v Speaker 2>we talk about, you know, good medication, and you know,

0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.680
<v Speaker 2>should you ever need to avail yourself with medication, don't

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:25.480
<v Speaker 2>be shy. You know, sometimes depression and anxiety can run

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:29.720
<v Speaker 2>in a family. And I'm always like looking at them

0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.800
<v Speaker 2>like good, you good. They're like, mom, I'm fine. But

0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 2>they're also dudes.

0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:37.240
<v Speaker 1>I know. Well that's got to make a big difference

0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 1>in it too. But like I do sometimes do that

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:43.040
<v Speaker 1>as well, Like I project my anxiety over what I've

0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:46.680
<v Speaker 1>been through or just like trying to figure my life

0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:49.280
<v Speaker 1>out when it comes to like my emotional orlder coaster

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.600
<v Speaker 1>or my medications or whatever it's been. And I sometimes

0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.240
<v Speaker 1>will project that onto my kids maybe and give them

0:19:56.400 --> 0:20:00.280
<v Speaker 1>worries that they didn't even have, like yeah, I know, I.

0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.680
<v Speaker 2>Know I have this one of you know, I've got

0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:06.640
<v Speaker 2>twins and they're very different, and one is mister social

0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:12.800
<v Speaker 2>and like super sporty, and his twin brother is a

0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:17.200
<v Speaker 2>not identical, is much more like I was just quieter

0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:20.480
<v Speaker 2>and kind of hangs back and then joins it when

0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:25.240
<v Speaker 2>he feels like it. But I am guilty of projecting

0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 2>onto him. Oh no, oh no, you're depressed.

0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:28.440
<v Speaker 1>Something's wrong.

0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 2>It's like what you know, like, don't put that on him. Luckily,

0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:34.399
<v Speaker 2>I have a great therapist who tells me to stop

0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 2>doing that, so I don't do it.

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh God, love therapy, Oh yeah, the best I can

0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:43.480
<v Speaker 1>really relate though, with your struggles with your body image

0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:47.040
<v Speaker 1>and everything, even at such a young age, even before

0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:50.679
<v Speaker 1>Hollywood was ever in the picture. You know, just the

0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.080
<v Speaker 1>pressure that we, like you said, compare and despair, like

0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:56.640
<v Speaker 1>what we the pressure we put on ourselves.

0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I mean, look you were how old were.

0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:01.840
<v Speaker 1>You on Io two and L.

0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:10.480
<v Speaker 2>Twenty seventeen seventeen. Yeah, I mean I can't imagine. I

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:14.360
<v Speaker 2>cannot imagine and having gone through with my I call

0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.400
<v Speaker 2>them my fake kids from Modern Family and watching them

0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:21.160
<v Speaker 2>grow up in the public eye and go through literally

0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:24.640
<v Speaker 2>changing bodies and hair and faces and everything, and going

0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:28.959
<v Speaker 2>how are you doing this? I was in awe of

0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:33.040
<v Speaker 2>their composure and their ability to say and they were

0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:36.960
<v Speaker 2>living out loud and on social media and getting hate

0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:39.399
<v Speaker 2>on social media, and I'm like, maybe you should just

0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 2>not be on Twitter or Instagram and maybe you shouldn't

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:46.720
<v Speaker 2>do those things. And they were like, we're fine, We're fine.

0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:51.360
<v Speaker 2>It was just they they were had so much more

0:21:51.359 --> 0:21:54.880
<v Speaker 2>composure about who they were in the world. But I've

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:59.359
<v Speaker 2>definitely no, I can't imagine having done that myself, and

0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:03.080
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine and how you did it. Yeah, I

0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:05.720
<v Speaker 2>mean that was and that was a rocket chip of

0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 2>a show. Nine o two and oh that was like

0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 2>game changer.

0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:11.680
<v Speaker 1>And that was in the nineties where anybody could say

0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:13.160
<v Speaker 1>anything about you or your body.

0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:17.159
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, and it was okay exceptable, that was okay

0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:18.640
<v Speaker 2>until like five years ago.

0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:23.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it feels like right, but when we struggle with

0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:25.679
<v Speaker 1>our body image and then we choose to start to

0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:29.719
<v Speaker 1>change the way our brain thinks and we start to

0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:33.679
<v Speaker 1>love our bodies. Yeah, that is like the ultimate I

0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Choose me moment? When did that happen for you? When

0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:39.200
<v Speaker 1>were you like, was it because of the medication? Do

0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:40.760
<v Speaker 1>you think that helped you reach that point?

0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:47.360
<v Speaker 2>Definitely? Without without medication and you know, the help of SSRIs,

0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I could ever have said I choose

0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:55.879
<v Speaker 2>me at all. And I know that there was also

0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:58.360
<v Speaker 2>a lot of work alongside it. You know, I've had

0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:01.760
<v Speaker 2>great therapists over the years. I would have to say, really,

0:23:01.800 --> 0:23:05.560
<v Speaker 2>the I Choose me, the biggest moment of that was

0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:09.080
<v Speaker 2>much later, and I will never speak ill of my

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 2>ex husband, but I needed to get divorced and we

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:16.280
<v Speaker 2>did get divorced, and I will never like go into

0:23:16.320 --> 0:23:20.800
<v Speaker 2>the nitty gritty of it, but that was ultimately the

0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 2>first time as I was an adult I was a

0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:26.760
<v Speaker 2>mother and I was living alone, you know, I'd had

0:23:26.760 --> 0:23:29.520
<v Speaker 2>my kids for half the time, but I really had

0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:33.480
<v Speaker 2>to go, Okay, you need to put yourself first. It's

0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:35.640
<v Speaker 2>still hard to say that. It's so hard to say

0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:39.880
<v Speaker 2>it because if you're not okay, you cannot carry this,

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:45.640
<v Speaker 2>you can't pull this train. And it's really hard. It's

0:23:45.640 --> 0:23:47.960
<v Speaker 2>still it's hard to say out loud because it feels

0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:48.720
<v Speaker 2>like shameful.

0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Would you say that? Like for me, it was very

0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:55.800
<v Speaker 1>hard for me to say I love myself and everyone

0:23:55.800 --> 0:23:58.800
<v Speaker 1>would always say, oh, well, you can never really love

0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:01.960
<v Speaker 1>someone else and to truly love yourself. And I used

0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:04.320
<v Speaker 1>to just roll my eyes at that and think I

0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:08.239
<v Speaker 1>can love people. Fine, I'm good. But it was it

0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:11.879
<v Speaker 1>was the point of saying I do love myself that

0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:15.280
<v Speaker 1>really shifted everything for me and being okay and able,

0:24:15.320 --> 0:24:18.000
<v Speaker 1>like you said, to say that and feel me about it.

0:24:18.640 --> 0:24:22.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's I still can't say that out loud, like

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:25.199
<v Speaker 2>I can't. It just feels like, oh no, they're going

0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:28.280
<v Speaker 2>to come for me, you know, like I don't know

0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:31.600
<v Speaker 2>about you, but I don't. I have a hard no

0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:36.240
<v Speaker 2>googling rule, like I don't google myself. When my kids

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:38.440
<v Speaker 2>got old, enough to be online all the time and everything.

0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:42.240
<v Speaker 2>I said, I don't ever want to know if you

0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:48.240
<v Speaker 2>see something, I recommend you don't google me or yourselves

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:50.880
<v Speaker 2>because you will come up. And I said, I don't

0:24:50.880 --> 0:24:52.800
<v Speaker 2>think it's a good idea. I think it's really unhealthy.

0:24:53.240 --> 0:24:56.440
<v Speaker 2>But if you do, I don't need to hear about

0:24:56.440 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 2>it because it is too upsetting, which means I'm still vulnerable,

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:04.040
<v Speaker 2>you know. And my therapist says to me all the time,

0:25:04.480 --> 0:25:06.159
<v Speaker 2>I want you to get to a place where you

0:25:06.280 --> 0:25:09.359
<v Speaker 2>just say I don't give a shit. I don't give

0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:17.280
<v Speaker 2>a shit, But not there yet. It's really hard to say,

0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:20.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, I am enough. I've gotten to a point

0:25:20.480 --> 0:25:22.680
<v Speaker 2>in my life where I can say that about other people,

0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:28.840
<v Speaker 2>and I think that that's a good indication, like a

0:25:28.840 --> 0:25:31.800
<v Speaker 2>good step of going, Oh, I am not demanding perfection

0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:33.840
<v Speaker 2>of the people in my life. I'm not demanding that

0:25:33.840 --> 0:25:37.800
<v Speaker 2>everybody beats this banana's high standard. And I can then

0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:40.320
<v Speaker 2>see that reflected back to me, like why do you

0:25:40.359 --> 0:25:43.280
<v Speaker 2>hold yourself to this ridiculous standard as well?

0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:45.119
<v Speaker 1>So hard on ourselves?

0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:48.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so hard, so hard, and women have to do

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:54.560
<v Speaker 2>everything like we have to do. I was, I had

0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:57.199
<v Speaker 2>babies and I was breastfeeding, and I was going to

0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.080
<v Speaker 2>work at five am. I had three kids in diaper,

0:26:00.240 --> 0:26:02.240
<v Speaker 2>and you know, you're going to work every day and going,

0:26:02.880 --> 0:26:05.280
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, and you still need to be nice

0:26:05.359 --> 0:26:09.080
<v Speaker 2>and professional and you have to look good and you're

0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:12.880
<v Speaker 2>not sleeping at all, and it's an enormous amount of pressure.

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:18.760
<v Speaker 2>But I think it was such a loving atmosphere on set.

0:26:18.920 --> 0:26:22.000
<v Speaker 2>I was so lucky on Modern Family. I felt like,

0:26:22.640 --> 0:26:24.720
<v Speaker 2>as much as you know, getting up at you know,

0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:26.240
<v Speaker 2>four thirty in the morning to get to work and

0:26:26.280 --> 0:26:30.080
<v Speaker 2>be a pain and not being with your kids is awful.

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:33.560
<v Speaker 2>I loved being there so much, and I felt so

0:26:33.720 --> 0:26:37.159
<v Speaker 2>much validation and I felt so good. I spent the

0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:39.240
<v Speaker 2>first year or year and a half of Modern Family

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:43.600
<v Speaker 2>being terrified because everybody there was so funny and so

0:26:43.800 --> 0:26:44.560
<v Speaker 2>good at what they did.

0:26:44.680 --> 0:26:45.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't know.

0:26:47.040 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, how did you feel when you did it sitcom?

0:26:49.760 --> 0:26:52.639
<v Speaker 2>Suddenly you were like you were like in front of

0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:55.680
<v Speaker 2>a live audience, you know, having to get the big laughs.

0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.160
<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent. And I just did an episode called

0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:02.320
<v Speaker 1>about imposter syndrome and just drugg that throughout my whole life,

0:27:02.320 --> 0:27:04.080
<v Speaker 1>and that was one of the major moments when it

0:27:04.119 --> 0:27:05.960
<v Speaker 1>really was clear to me that I was having it

0:27:06.000 --> 0:27:08.359
<v Speaker 1>was when I was thrust into that world of doing

0:27:08.400 --> 0:27:10.439
<v Speaker 1>something I didn't know how to do and doing just

0:27:10.440 --> 0:27:13.400
<v Speaker 1>what you did, like comparing myself and saying I wasn't

0:27:13.400 --> 0:27:15.240
<v Speaker 1>good enough and I don't belong here and everybody's so

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:18.159
<v Speaker 1>much better than me, and all that messaging can just

0:27:18.320 --> 0:27:19.239
<v Speaker 1>really mess with you.

0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:23.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it does, and I can't even I mean, you

0:27:23.359 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 2>went from I mean you were like a drama, you know,

0:27:28.200 --> 0:27:31.879
<v Speaker 2>you were you were like literally lea teen soap opera

0:27:31.920 --> 0:27:35.640
<v Speaker 2>of our time, and then you got to do a sitcom.

0:27:35.680 --> 0:27:38.040
<v Speaker 2>I remember watching it, boy, like does she know how

0:27:38.080 --> 0:27:41.600
<v Speaker 2>to do that? Like that's how does she stand there?

0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:44.200
<v Speaker 2>And like go in to hold for the laugh and

0:27:44.480 --> 0:27:47.959
<v Speaker 2>all that stuff, And it fucks with your head. Yeah,

0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:50.320
<v Speaker 2>especially when you're with people who I mean, I look

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:53.679
<v Speaker 2>at Tyberell and before a scene, like he went a

0:27:53.880 --> 0:27:56.600
<v Speaker 2>one line in the scene, he'd be like walking around

0:27:56.600 --> 0:27:59.200
<v Speaker 2>thinking that, go, what are you thinking about? Like it's

0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:02.879
<v Speaker 2>one line, and then he would bust out something genius

0:28:02.920 --> 0:28:05.480
<v Speaker 2>and brilliant. I'm like, oh my god, why I need

0:28:05.520 --> 0:28:09.359
<v Speaker 2>to think more? I'm not good enough? But maybe just

0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:11.520
<v Speaker 2>a function of time or the fact that that was

0:28:11.520 --> 0:28:14.680
<v Speaker 2>the most loving and supportive environment in the entire world

0:28:15.440 --> 0:28:19.560
<v Speaker 2>that I just started to feel like, Okay, maybe I'm

0:28:19.600 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 2>never going to be the best here, but I can

0:28:21.320 --> 0:28:25.360
<v Speaker 2>hold my own and I felt confident about that.

0:28:26.760 --> 0:28:37.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it changes. This is going to another very personal topic.

0:28:38.400 --> 0:28:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Some people don't know this, but you have a pacemaker,

0:28:40.720 --> 0:28:43.280
<v Speaker 1>and I'm fascinating to this. I want to know all

0:28:43.320 --> 0:28:45.920
<v Speaker 1>about it. Why do you have a pacemaker? When did

0:28:45.960 --> 0:28:48.000
<v Speaker 1>you get it? How do you live with it? Tell

0:28:48.000 --> 0:28:48.560
<v Speaker 1>me everything.

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:51.080
<v Speaker 2>I have a pacemaker that I got when I was

0:28:51.480 --> 0:28:52.600
<v Speaker 2>twenty nine.

0:28:53.600 --> 0:28:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:58.040
<v Speaker 2>I have been a really competitive runner all throughout high

0:28:58.040 --> 0:29:02.760
<v Speaker 2>school and I was really good at it, but it

0:29:02.960 --> 0:29:08.440
<v Speaker 2>was it, I guess was taking its toll. Also, not

0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:13.240
<v Speaker 2>eating wasn't a great idea and do some damage. Yeah,

0:29:13.280 --> 0:29:16.240
<v Speaker 2>and I genetically my dad is an incredibly low resting

0:29:16.280 --> 0:29:18.240
<v Speaker 2>heart rate. I always had a low resting heart rate,

0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:21.120
<v Speaker 2>but it started to get really so like low and

0:29:22.360 --> 0:29:27.920
<v Speaker 2>uneven that I noticed and it would feel almost like

0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:30.720
<v Speaker 2>I was going to pass out when I was like

0:29:31.120 --> 0:29:33.680
<v Speaker 2>sitting or watching a movie, like it would get solo

0:29:33.800 --> 0:29:37.719
<v Speaker 2>that I was like, wait, and my sister was in

0:29:37.840 --> 0:29:41.240
<v Speaker 2>med school or maybe her residency at the time, and

0:29:41.280 --> 0:29:43.720
<v Speaker 2>she had a stethoscope one day and she just listened

0:29:43.720 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 2>to my heart. Because what did they tell you that is?

0:29:46.680 --> 0:29:48.600
<v Speaker 2>I said, Oh, they say it's runner's heart. It's like

0:29:48.600 --> 0:29:52.000
<v Speaker 2>a thing that happens when people are really athletic and

0:29:52.160 --> 0:29:53.920
<v Speaker 2>run a lot and they get a super low heart rate.

0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Because that is not what that is. And I said,

0:29:56.880 --> 0:30:03.080
<v Speaker 2>but and she insisted that I go see cardiologist immediately.

0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:05.200
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, and I tried to put it off.

0:30:05.240 --> 0:30:07.719
<v Speaker 2>And I was doing two pilots that year, like two

0:30:08.040 --> 0:30:11.320
<v Speaker 2>like back to back. You know, no one takes a

0:30:11.400 --> 0:30:14.040
<v Speaker 2>day off of work. And I was like, well, I can't.

0:30:14.080 --> 0:30:16.520
<v Speaker 2>I can't because I've got a lot of other things

0:30:16.520 --> 0:30:19.760
<v Speaker 2>going on. But she wouldn't let it go. And I

0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:21.920
<v Speaker 2>went to four different cardiologists and they all were like, oh,

0:30:21.920 --> 0:30:24.600
<v Speaker 2>you need a pacemaker. And I was what, And yeah,

0:30:24.720 --> 0:30:27.440
<v Speaker 2>I was so freaked out. And you know, I only

0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:30.160
<v Speaker 2>knew them as like a box on somebody's like chest

0:30:30.280 --> 0:30:34.480
<v Speaker 2>or something. Mine's underneath the muscles sort of in through

0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 2>my armpit.

0:30:35.520 --> 0:30:38.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's good. So it doesn't like show itself.

0:30:39.480 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 2>It does some like in some outfits you can sort

0:30:43.240 --> 0:30:45.080
<v Speaker 2>of see it, but I'm like at a point where

0:30:45.080 --> 0:30:45.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I don't care.

0:30:46.840 --> 0:30:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Look, you just said it. I don't care.

0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:51.640
<v Speaker 2>That's true. I don't care because the pace it's such

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:54.360
<v Speaker 2>As much as I freaked out about it at the

0:30:54.440 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 2>time and thought, oh no, this is like what does

0:30:57.600 --> 0:31:00.959
<v Speaker 2>this mean I'm dying or I'm a free or something,

0:31:01.280 --> 0:31:05.120
<v Speaker 2>I learned about the anatomy of the heart and it

0:31:05.160 --> 0:31:08.400
<v Speaker 2>was there's an electrical impulse that wasn't traveling through the

0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:12.520
<v Speaker 2>vagueal nerve in the middle. And it's such an easy fix.

0:31:13.480 --> 0:31:16.320
<v Speaker 2>And I tell people this all the time because I've

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:19.000
<v Speaker 2>met so many young people who have pacemakers, because I

0:31:19.000 --> 0:31:24.240
<v Speaker 2>have one, and it was such a simple fix. And

0:31:25.440 --> 0:31:28.640
<v Speaker 2>I have to get the battery changed every i don't know,

0:31:28.760 --> 0:31:31.720
<v Speaker 2>seven years or something, which means they take out the

0:31:31.720 --> 0:31:33.480
<v Speaker 2>whole thing and put it back in. It's an operation,

0:31:33.960 --> 0:31:36.920
<v Speaker 2>but otherwise it does not interfere with my life or

0:31:37.000 --> 0:31:40.880
<v Speaker 2>change it in any way. And I'm just so grateful

0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:44.200
<v Speaker 2>that my sister identified that this was a problem.

0:31:45.000 --> 0:31:47.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that little box is going to keep you

0:31:47.240 --> 0:31:49.520
<v Speaker 1>alive for longer than any.

0:31:49.600 --> 0:31:50.480
<v Speaker 2>Long too long.

0:31:51.200 --> 0:31:53.120
<v Speaker 1>They were like, please stop part.

0:31:53.200 --> 0:31:55.360
<v Speaker 2>When I when I get you know, you have kids

0:31:55.400 --> 0:31:58.200
<v Speaker 2>and suddenly you have to make a will, like because

0:31:58.200 --> 0:32:00.280
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have a will until I have kids. And

0:32:00.320 --> 0:32:02.160
<v Speaker 2>I was like, and they're like, you have to have

0:32:02.240 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 2>it somebody who has your medical directive and all that stuff.

0:32:07.280 --> 0:32:11.800
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, oh, I made my lawyer write

0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:16.760
<v Speaker 2>in like unplug my pace, turn it off. He's like,

0:32:16.800 --> 0:32:19.959
<v Speaker 2>I'm wait, is that a thing? I was like, just

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:22.040
<v Speaker 2>write it in there that like if I am in

0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:25.360
<v Speaker 2>a coma, turn off the fucking box because I'm not.

0:32:25.840 --> 0:32:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be kept alive from the box.

0:32:29.040 --> 0:32:30.520
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, I don't know if that's the

0:32:30.520 --> 0:32:30.960
<v Speaker 2>way it works.

0:32:31.000 --> 0:32:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I was just right, that doesn't sound fun.

0:32:34.600 --> 0:32:37.800
<v Speaker 2>No, but I'm not so concerned anymore.

0:32:38.920 --> 0:32:42.160
<v Speaker 1>So we talked about your the beginnings and your your

0:32:42.200 --> 0:32:44.720
<v Speaker 1>eating disordered. How do you feel now though in your

0:32:44.720 --> 0:32:48.800
<v Speaker 1>body your pacemaker like you have. It seems like you've

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:50.840
<v Speaker 1>seem amazing care of yourself.

0:32:52.400 --> 0:32:56.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'm living with the fallout of not having

0:32:56.320 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 2>taken amazing care of myself right now. You know, I

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know, maybe you feel the same way. There's something

0:33:03.600 --> 0:33:06.720
<v Speaker 2>about you go through I said, I mean my body

0:33:06.840 --> 0:33:13.320
<v Speaker 2>was destroyed after babies, you know, and you suddenly start going,

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:17.280
<v Speaker 2>what was I complaining about? At least my skin didn't

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:20.800
<v Speaker 2>look like a melted candle. At least I could wear

0:33:20.840 --> 0:33:24.280
<v Speaker 2>a bikini and not have to wear like a Lily

0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:32.080
<v Speaker 2>pulletzer with a skirt one piece. Why Lily, We love you, Lily.

0:33:33.040 --> 0:33:37.960
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that feeling of oh my god, I don't

0:33:37.960 --> 0:33:42.320
<v Speaker 2>want to waste any more time. I wasted way too

0:33:42.440 --> 0:33:45.640
<v Speaker 2>long and when I didn't realize how good I had it.

0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:49.120
<v Speaker 2>And I think to myself whenever I get into like

0:33:49.240 --> 0:33:51.880
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of a toilet spin in my head

0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:54.840
<v Speaker 2>about oh I'm not good enough, or oh I'm looking

0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:58.280
<v Speaker 2>old or whatever. I go, in a year, you're going

0:33:58.360 --> 0:34:00.840
<v Speaker 2>to look back to today and go, what was I thinking?

0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:02.720
<v Speaker 2>In ten years are going to be like, why were

0:34:02.760 --> 0:34:06.080
<v Speaker 2>you not naked running down the streets having so much fun?

0:34:07.040 --> 0:34:09.200
<v Speaker 1>We spend so much time worrying about it, and that

0:34:09.280 --> 0:34:12.080
<v Speaker 1>I think just perpetuates it and makes us feel and

0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:12.840
<v Speaker 1>look older.

0:34:13.480 --> 0:34:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, So to really appreciate, like, I can I

0:34:18.600 --> 0:34:21.800
<v Speaker 2>can move my body, I can go running, I can

0:34:22.120 --> 0:34:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm recently obsessed with the rest of America pickleball, and

0:34:26.719 --> 0:34:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I can play for two hours at a time, and

0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:31.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like, I'm so glad that I can do

0:34:31.200 --> 0:34:33.400
<v Speaker 2>all these things. I'm so happy that my body is

0:34:33.440 --> 0:34:37.759
<v Speaker 2>strong in serving me and hasn't hasn't you know, I've

0:34:37.760 --> 0:34:39.440
<v Speaker 2>had a couple of injuries over the years. When you

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:43.920
<v Speaker 2>have those, you, oh my god, is this you become

0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:47.399
<v Speaker 2>very grateful for just a healthy, functioning body, and that

0:34:47.560 --> 0:34:50.239
<v Speaker 2>is much more. How I look at myself, I'm like,

0:34:50.880 --> 0:34:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm strong as hell, and that is that has served

0:34:54.320 --> 0:34:54.919
<v Speaker 2>me well.

0:34:56.480 --> 0:34:59.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. If anything that should make you feel proud and

0:34:59.480 --> 0:35:00.480
<v Speaker 1>love yourself, health.

0:35:01.840 --> 0:35:04.400
<v Speaker 2>Can't, Jenny, I can't do it.

0:35:04.440 --> 0:35:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Here's what I need you to do. I need you

0:35:07.680 --> 0:35:09.680
<v Speaker 1>when we're done, I want you to go in the bathroom,

0:35:09.760 --> 0:35:12.960
<v Speaker 1>look in the mirror and look into your beautiful eyes

0:35:13.040 --> 0:35:16.480
<v Speaker 1>and say I love you. And you know it's going

0:35:16.520 --> 0:35:17.200
<v Speaker 1>to feel gross.

0:35:18.520 --> 0:35:21.000
<v Speaker 2>I can't do it. I am. I have a whole

0:35:21.120 --> 0:35:25.879
<v Speaker 2>visualization process with sort of another.

0:35:24.760 --> 0:35:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Mem wait meant wait another you like a younger.

0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:35.279
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yes, that I take care of her and I

0:35:35.360 --> 0:35:40.000
<v Speaker 2>tell her how great she is. It's perfect. I can't

0:35:40.040 --> 0:35:42.879
<v Speaker 2>get to the mirror yet, but I do visual I

0:35:42.960 --> 0:35:45.960
<v Speaker 2>do work very hard, and like you know, because when

0:35:46.000 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>you're suffering, when you have anxiety, or fear. I always think, Okay,

0:35:50.280 --> 0:35:52.960
<v Speaker 2>what do you need? It's not you. I'm the adult,

0:35:53.000 --> 0:35:56.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm in charge. I am smart and capable and strong.

0:35:57.640 --> 0:36:01.600
<v Speaker 2>This feeling is coming from some other place, probably an

0:36:01.640 --> 0:36:04.080
<v Speaker 2>earlier place, and I just try and think about like

0:36:04.360 --> 0:36:07.279
<v Speaker 2>this younger person, I'm like, what do you need? And

0:36:07.640 --> 0:36:11.920
<v Speaker 2>just asking that question usually helps resolve the anxiety.

0:36:12.120 --> 0:36:12.920
<v Speaker 1>That's amazing.

0:36:13.160 --> 0:36:17.239
<v Speaker 2>Just acknowledge it and go, oh, poor thing, Okay, I

0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:20.840
<v Speaker 2>get it. Just I see you. Life is scary. We

0:36:20.880 --> 0:36:24.919
<v Speaker 2>all carry around so much old shit, and I don't

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:27.040
<v Speaker 2>try to necessarily get rid of the old shit.

0:36:27.160 --> 0:36:31.160
<v Speaker 1>I just acknowledge it and just embrace it. I love this.

0:36:31.840 --> 0:36:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I know you're there. I hear you.

0:36:33.719 --> 0:36:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's the best you can do, because you can't

0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:36.799
<v Speaker 1>get rid of it.

0:36:36.880 --> 0:36:41.359
<v Speaker 2>To watch that documentary on Phil Stutz, the one Jonah Hill.

0:36:41.719 --> 0:36:44.120
<v Speaker 2>He has a whole thing about like I mean, I

0:36:44.200 --> 0:36:46.239
<v Speaker 2>don't know. He could be a giant quack. I don't know.

0:36:46.280 --> 0:36:48.600
<v Speaker 2>I just watched the documentary, but he has a whole

0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:52.520
<v Speaker 2>thing about like your shadow self, and that it's this

0:36:52.800 --> 0:36:55.520
<v Speaker 2>like amalgamation of all the parts of you that you

0:36:55.719 --> 0:36:59.400
<v Speaker 2>think that are bad and if you don't acknowledge it,

0:36:59.400 --> 0:37:02.440
<v Speaker 2>it turns time. But if you could just acknowledge it

0:37:02.880 --> 0:37:05.800
<v Speaker 2>and say, yep, it's like my shadow, it's my friend,

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:09.919
<v Speaker 2>it's just there, it somehow like turns the noise down

0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:11.520
<v Speaker 2>and makes it less potent.

0:37:11.840 --> 0:37:14.439
<v Speaker 1>And we all have that shadow or.

0:37:14.400 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 2>That everybody has it. Everybody has it.

0:37:17.600 --> 0:37:19.359
<v Speaker 1>Unless you're like you feel like it's only you.

0:37:20.480 --> 0:37:23.799
<v Speaker 2>Sure, But that is the ultimate sort of like I'm

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:25.160
<v Speaker 2>a piece of shit, but I'm a piece of shit

0:37:25.200 --> 0:37:27.160
<v Speaker 2>in the center of the universe and everyone's talking about it,

0:37:27.200 --> 0:37:29.480
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, no, most people are really just thinking

0:37:29.520 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 2>about whether or not they need to get their nails

0:37:31.160 --> 0:37:32.439
<v Speaker 2>done or right.

0:37:32.760 --> 0:37:35.080
<v Speaker 1>That's the most freeing thing I think as we age,

0:37:35.080 --> 0:37:38.240
<v Speaker 1>you realize nobody's talking about you, nobody's even really looking

0:37:38.239 --> 0:37:41.880
<v Speaker 1>at you. Yeah, it's allid stories we're making up in

0:37:41.880 --> 0:37:42.440
<v Speaker 1>our heads.

0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:47.200
<v Speaker 2>And the unintended side effect of being able to have

0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:51.440
<v Speaker 2>a conversation like this is I always discovered that it

0:37:51.560 --> 0:37:55.640
<v Speaker 2>takes I'm very self effacing and I don't like compliments

0:37:55.640 --> 0:38:00.680
<v Speaker 2>and everything, and but when you're honest about sort of

0:38:00.680 --> 0:38:04.680
<v Speaker 2>anxiety or fear, WHATEVERLSE is going on, you become more

0:38:04.760 --> 0:38:07.839
<v Speaker 2>human and less of And this was never intended. I

0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:12.560
<v Speaker 2>never intended this, but I always feared like being somebody

0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:14.680
<v Speaker 2>on a pedestal that other people wanted to shoot down.

0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:19.960
<v Speaker 2>M h. And I think that being open and human

0:38:20.520 --> 0:38:22.879
<v Speaker 2>makes you less of a target, and that was never

0:38:22.920 --> 0:38:26.399
<v Speaker 2>my intention, but it's a very welcome side effect. M hm.

0:38:27.440 --> 0:38:36.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's great. You mentioned We've all talked about and

0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:39.000
<v Speaker 1>we talk about it a lot on this podcast, anxiety

0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:41.279
<v Speaker 1>and stress and like different ways to do it. So

0:38:41.400 --> 0:38:44.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm hearing from you that you you run, you play,

0:38:44.440 --> 0:38:49.400
<v Speaker 1>pick a ball, do you meditate, do you do what

0:38:49.840 --> 0:38:51.640
<v Speaker 1>are the things do you do to handle your stress

0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:52.239
<v Speaker 1>and anxiety?

0:38:52.960 --> 0:38:56.160
<v Speaker 2>I do meditate, and I'm not as religious about it

0:38:56.160 --> 0:38:59.120
<v Speaker 2>as I used to be when I was going through

0:39:00.280 --> 0:39:05.719
<v Speaker 2>divorce and my very very close friend and cousin was

0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:09.440
<v Speaker 2>dying of cancer, and I just felt like it was

0:39:09.520 --> 0:39:14.239
<v Speaker 2>just a cycle of like I could pick anything and

0:39:14.280 --> 0:39:16.000
<v Speaker 2>it was a problem that you know, it was like,

0:39:16.120 --> 0:39:17.520
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, oh my god. I felt like I

0:39:17.560 --> 0:39:20.480
<v Speaker 2>was constantly walking around the top of a turret just

0:39:20.520 --> 0:39:27.080
<v Speaker 2>looking down at like incoming bad things. And I always

0:39:27.320 --> 0:39:31.400
<v Speaker 2>thought sleep is for the week, lunch is for losers,

0:39:31.800 --> 0:39:35.040
<v Speaker 2>and meditation is for like people that don't want to

0:39:35.040 --> 0:39:40.920
<v Speaker 2>deal with life. I've since completely chansen all of those Thingskay, good, good,

0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:43.360
<v Speaker 2>all of them. Lunch is not for losers.

0:39:43.960 --> 0:39:45.440
<v Speaker 1>Lunch is for champions.

0:39:46.080 --> 0:39:49.960
<v Speaker 2>Lunch is for champions. Really helps to have like great

0:39:49.960 --> 0:39:53.319
<v Speaker 2>friends around to have your lunch with. Sleep is not

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:57.200
<v Speaker 2>for the week. It is. I had to say that

0:39:57.239 --> 0:39:58.880
<v Speaker 2>for years, and you know what I mean, because when

0:39:58.920 --> 0:40:01.920
<v Speaker 2>you have kids and you're working, you can't indulge in

0:40:01.960 --> 0:40:04.319
<v Speaker 2>reading the New York Times. That's telling you that if

0:40:04.400 --> 0:40:07.360
<v Speaker 2>you don't sleep, your brain is turning to rot. You

0:40:07.600 --> 0:40:09.200
<v Speaker 2>have to survive.

0:40:09.600 --> 0:40:11.400
<v Speaker 1>You're just surviving. Yeah.

0:40:11.440 --> 0:40:14.360
<v Speaker 2>And then meditation during that time when I was just thinking,

0:40:14.960 --> 0:40:20.000
<v Speaker 2>oh no, it's all going wrong, and I didn't want

0:40:20.040 --> 0:40:22.879
<v Speaker 2>to suddenly start doing a bad job at the thing.

0:40:22.920 --> 0:40:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I loved my work and I could feel like the

0:40:25.480 --> 0:40:29.920
<v Speaker 2>anxiety coming back. And I just started meditating and I

0:40:30.080 --> 0:40:33.759
<v Speaker 2>just started by simply counting my breaths. That's it. And

0:40:35.640 --> 0:40:38.600
<v Speaker 2>I was like, something crazy happened, you know, it just

0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:42.080
<v Speaker 2>something switched, and I was like, oh, that's crazy. That

0:40:42.200 --> 0:40:44.880
<v Speaker 2>just worked. Now I'm into breath work.

0:40:46.040 --> 0:40:48.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh oh, bim Hoff.

0:40:47.800 --> 0:40:50.319
<v Speaker 2>And like crazy breath work.

0:40:50.600 --> 0:40:56.040
<v Speaker 1>That can really change your chemical your brain, how you.

0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Feel, it's it can be really psychedelic because if you

0:41:00.000 --> 0:41:02.360
<v Speaker 2>do it, yes, what do you do? I listened to

0:41:02.440 --> 0:41:06.239
<v Speaker 2>this God, I listened to some dude that I found

0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:10.120
<v Speaker 2>on YouTube. There's two people and they both have once

0:41:10.200 --> 0:41:12.839
<v Speaker 2>forty minutes and one's like a half an hour, and

0:41:12.880 --> 0:41:15.480
<v Speaker 2>sometimes you I'm back to back. It's it's almost like

0:41:15.520 --> 0:41:18.839
<v Speaker 2>you're hyperventilating in a way. It feels very weird, and

0:41:19.160 --> 0:41:22.800
<v Speaker 2>you do all this deep controlled breathing and then faster

0:41:22.960 --> 0:41:24.920
<v Speaker 2>and then you're holding your breath and then at the

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:32.040
<v Speaker 2>end you meditate, and it is I've never done acid,

0:41:32.200 --> 0:41:34.880
<v Speaker 2>but I imagine that. It's I mean, it is like

0:41:34.960 --> 0:41:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like doors of consciousness are opening.

0:41:39.280 --> 0:41:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I need to know who these people are on YouTube.

0:41:42.239 --> 0:41:43.440
<v Speaker 1>You have just sent this to me.

0:41:43.760 --> 0:41:46.319
<v Speaker 2>I will send them to you. It's you know, it's

0:41:46.360 --> 0:41:52.040
<v Speaker 2>not for everyone is going this like that is No,

0:41:52.239 --> 0:41:55.839
<v Speaker 2>I don't because my nose is inside is like sideways,

0:41:56.000 --> 0:41:59.000
<v Speaker 2>so I can't. That's such a deviated septim it's crazy.

0:41:59.040 --> 0:42:01.920
<v Speaker 2>So one not. It's like I don't breathe through it anyhow,

0:42:02.520 --> 0:42:06.800
<v Speaker 2>but I do the like you do belly chest, belly chest,

0:42:06.840 --> 0:42:09.040
<v Speaker 2>belly chest. It's like two kinds of breathing and then

0:42:09.120 --> 0:42:11.319
<v Speaker 2>holding it, holding it, holding it, and then reading all

0:42:11.320 --> 0:42:14.760
<v Speaker 2>the way out. And I don't know why it works.

0:42:14.880 --> 0:42:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I read a book that my cousin gave me called

0:42:17.800 --> 0:42:22.279
<v Speaker 2>Breath That is great. I highly recommend it. It is

0:42:22.640 --> 0:42:24.920
<v Speaker 2>it will by the end of that if you're not.

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my god, I have to I

0:42:26.640 --> 0:42:29.000
<v Speaker 2>have to breathe. I have to start freaking about breathing.

0:42:29.200 --> 0:42:33.160
<v Speaker 2>I know. And so yeah, I'm very that. And also

0:42:33.360 --> 0:42:37.120
<v Speaker 2>it is like such a great enhancement to meditation because

0:42:37.160 --> 0:42:41.000
<v Speaker 2>it is like very psychedelic and great.

0:42:41.600 --> 0:42:44.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm inspired by that. I definitely want to try it.

0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you about you are single.

0:42:48.680 --> 0:42:51.440
<v Speaker 1>You have been single since your divorce. I think that

0:42:51.600 --> 0:42:54.680
<v Speaker 1>was around the time of my divorce, maybe a little

0:42:54.840 --> 0:42:58.080
<v Speaker 1>bit later. But you've said that you love being single,

0:42:59.200 --> 0:43:02.480
<v Speaker 1>and I love hearing that so much, Like what do

0:43:02.520 --> 0:43:05.359
<v Speaker 1>you love about it? I'm a lot of jealous, Like

0:43:05.920 --> 0:43:08.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm a little jealous because I really love being single too.

0:43:08.400 --> 0:43:10.640
<v Speaker 1>For a minute, I.

0:43:10.400 --> 0:43:16.040
<v Speaker 2>Love I am by nature an introvert, not meaning that

0:43:16.080 --> 0:43:18.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm introverted all the time, but that's where I recharge

0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:22.640
<v Speaker 2>by being alone. Some people recharge by Yes, well it

0:43:22.680 --> 0:43:24.880
<v Speaker 2>could be and I could be hiking. I could be,

0:43:25.800 --> 0:43:30.640
<v Speaker 2>but I need a certain amount of alone time every day.

0:43:30.960 --> 0:43:33.799
<v Speaker 2>And I've struggled with whether or not this is just

0:43:33.800 --> 0:43:39.120
<v Speaker 2>inherently selfish because I'm not sure I'm as open to

0:43:40.440 --> 0:43:45.880
<v Speaker 2>sharing my life because I guard my that alone time

0:43:46.280 --> 0:43:50.160
<v Speaker 2>and I work a lot. I work from home. You know,

0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:55.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing a development. I've got to deal with Universal

0:43:55.680 --> 0:43:58.120
<v Speaker 2>for comedy that where I'm developing stuff. I've had a

0:43:58.160 --> 0:44:01.279
<v Speaker 2>skinned care line. So there's all these women come to

0:44:01.320 --> 0:44:04.959
<v Speaker 2>my house every day. There's usually be four or five

0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:09.480
<v Speaker 2>of us, the four of us, and I'm constantly surrounded

0:44:09.480 --> 0:44:13.239
<v Speaker 2>by people, constantly on zooms and digging meetings, and I

0:44:13.520 --> 0:44:18.200
<v Speaker 2>need no one around for a while. And between kids

0:44:18.239 --> 0:44:22.200
<v Speaker 2>and work and you know, friends, I don't know where

0:44:22.239 --> 0:44:28.359
<v Speaker 2>I would put a relationship. And I really am not

0:44:28.400 --> 0:44:31.560
<v Speaker 2>willing to give up any of those things just yet.

0:44:31.719 --> 0:44:35.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm not willing to give up that alone time. I

0:44:35.120 --> 0:44:37.040
<v Speaker 2>feel really stressed if I don't get it.

0:44:37.800 --> 0:44:40.359
<v Speaker 1>And it sounds like you're just in this major like

0:44:41.320 --> 0:44:45.239
<v Speaker 1>discovery of doing all these different projects and doing what

0:44:45.360 --> 0:44:48.760
<v Speaker 1>you want to do now like you're not, I won't

0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:53.880
<v Speaker 1>say stuck, but you're not committed to a show that though, isn't.

0:44:53.640 --> 0:44:57.640
<v Speaker 2>It the scariest thing though? When come on, when we

0:44:57.719 --> 0:45:02.040
<v Speaker 2>started out, you took any job because you needed a job.

0:45:02.280 --> 0:45:04.960
<v Speaker 2>You need to do the work. Yeah, right, and so

0:45:05.000 --> 0:45:07.280
<v Speaker 2>you took any job. It didn't have to be good,

0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:10.560
<v Speaker 2>it didn't have to be the perfect job. You just

0:45:10.600 --> 0:45:16.319
<v Speaker 2>took jobs. And it's much more challenging. And of course

0:45:16.320 --> 0:45:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm grateful for the ability to have choice, but it's

0:45:19.800 --> 0:45:22.479
<v Speaker 2>much harder when they're like, well, you have to pick

0:45:22.600 --> 0:45:26.880
<v Speaker 2>now and you have to create, and I'm like, oh,

0:45:26.960 --> 0:45:28.759
<v Speaker 2>it was easier when I could just say yes to

0:45:28.800 --> 0:45:30.680
<v Speaker 2>everything and just go do it and then let the

0:45:30.760 --> 0:45:34.640
<v Speaker 2>chips fall where they may. It's much more challenging to

0:45:34.760 --> 0:45:37.360
<v Speaker 2>say I'm not going to put my time and energy

0:45:37.400 --> 0:45:42.600
<v Speaker 2>into that, or or put yourself out there like develop

0:45:42.680 --> 0:45:45.520
<v Speaker 2>a project from the ground up with may never see

0:45:45.520 --> 0:45:48.080
<v Speaker 2>the light of day. All of that, it's much more difficult.

0:45:48.760 --> 0:45:50.719
<v Speaker 2>I miss the days of being able to just be like,

0:45:51.360 --> 0:45:53.840
<v Speaker 2>it's a job. I'm going like my tendency is to

0:45:53.840 --> 0:45:56.759
<v Speaker 2>say yes to everything, because I'm like, well, you say

0:45:56.800 --> 0:46:00.160
<v Speaker 2>yes to jobs. But what makes it's easy to say?

0:46:00.000 --> 0:46:02.560
<v Speaker 2>I know, because everything's out of town now, So I

0:46:03.160 --> 0:46:04.759
<v Speaker 2>do say no to a lot of stuff because I

0:46:04.760 --> 0:46:05.439
<v Speaker 2>don't want to leave.

0:46:06.200 --> 0:46:08.399
<v Speaker 1>No, you don't want to leave your boys.

0:46:08.120 --> 0:46:11.760
<v Speaker 2>No, And they're like right at the you know, fifteen, fifteen,

0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:13.360
<v Speaker 2>and seventeen. One's going to be gone next.

0:46:13.239 --> 0:46:16.640
<v Speaker 1>Year, and I need you so much right now, and

0:46:16.760 --> 0:46:17.640
<v Speaker 1>I need them.

0:46:17.840 --> 0:46:23.920
<v Speaker 2>And the idea of like this is they're such fascinating people.

0:46:24.360 --> 0:46:27.840
<v Speaker 2>I loved having babies, I loved having toddlers and little kids,

0:46:28.160 --> 0:46:30.480
<v Speaker 2>and this is so interesting who they are now, and

0:46:30.520 --> 0:46:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I don't want to.

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:34.200
<v Speaker 1>Miss it, you know, oh yeah, Like I just want

0:46:34.200 --> 0:46:36.200
<v Speaker 1>to hang out with my kids all the time, and.

0:46:36.120 --> 0:46:38.960
<v Speaker 2>They don't want to hang out with me at all.

0:46:39.400 --> 0:46:41.279
<v Speaker 2>Let me make it clear, it's not like we like

0:46:42.040 --> 0:46:44.400
<v Speaker 2>I always hear people talk about how great religios they

0:46:44.440 --> 0:46:46.440
<v Speaker 2>have with their kids, and they're all like doing things together.

0:46:46.719 --> 0:46:49.120
<v Speaker 2>My kids have no interest in me. But what I've

0:46:49.200 --> 0:46:53.759
<v Speaker 2>discovered is being around is like ninety percent of the work.

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Just if I'm not around, I'm not going to get

0:46:57.040 --> 0:47:00.520
<v Speaker 2>that conversation that just suddenly happens where I'm not going

0:47:00.560 --> 0:47:04.879
<v Speaker 2>to meet their friends who are over. If I am

0:47:05.040 --> 0:47:07.040
<v Speaker 2>super busy all the time and out of the house,

0:47:07.080 --> 0:47:10.839
<v Speaker 2>I just won't have access to that just don't know

0:47:10.880 --> 0:47:13.080
<v Speaker 2>when that weird conversation is going to come when one

0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:15.360
<v Speaker 2>of your kids sits down is like, Mom, I like

0:47:15.440 --> 0:47:19.400
<v Speaker 2>this girl. You're like right, look ahead, don't make eye contact,

0:47:21.480 --> 0:47:23.400
<v Speaker 2>and you know, I don't want to miss that.

0:47:24.960 --> 0:47:27.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you were really close with your You mentioned this

0:47:27.320 --> 0:47:31.120
<v Speaker 1>before your co stars that you shared the screen with

0:47:31.120 --> 0:47:33.480
<v Speaker 1>for eleven years. I can relate very close to my

0:47:33.520 --> 0:47:35.800
<v Speaker 1>co stars that we were on for ten years together.

0:47:36.600 --> 0:47:39.399
<v Speaker 1>And I know it sounds to me like you kind

0:47:39.440 --> 0:47:42.160
<v Speaker 1>of were a little bit of a motherly figure off

0:47:42.200 --> 0:47:46.920
<v Speaker 1>screen as well as on screen, and I think that

0:47:46.920 --> 0:47:50.160
<v Speaker 1>that is such. You're a nurturing person, so it's probably

0:47:50.239 --> 0:47:54.799
<v Speaker 1>natural for you to want to help people, and you know,

0:47:54.960 --> 0:47:58.520
<v Speaker 1>just those relationships that I know you form with your

0:47:58.640 --> 0:48:02.839
<v Speaker 1>kids on screen, yes, it feels like they're really your

0:48:02.920 --> 0:48:03.960
<v Speaker 1>kids kind of.

0:48:04.239 --> 0:48:07.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, especially Nolan, who I'm so grateful for

0:48:07.600 --> 0:48:11.239
<v Speaker 2>because he was eleven when we started and twenty two

0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:14.160
<v Speaker 2>when we finished, and so I got to see a

0:48:14.280 --> 0:48:18.280
<v Speaker 2>boy older than my boys who were babies at the time,

0:48:18.640 --> 0:48:21.960
<v Speaker 2>and I got to see a boy go through all

0:48:22.000 --> 0:48:25.560
<v Speaker 2>these changes and he'd be really into something for a

0:48:25.600 --> 0:48:29.719
<v Speaker 2>while and super into something or annoying about something, and

0:48:29.800 --> 0:48:32.640
<v Speaker 2>I could say, oh, these are all phases, like you

0:48:32.680 --> 0:48:35.520
<v Speaker 2>don't have to go in there and micromanage because I'm

0:48:35.560 --> 0:48:37.600
<v Speaker 2>not his actual mom, so it wasn't my job. But

0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:40.719
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like I could just watch him grow and

0:48:40.880 --> 0:48:45.880
<v Speaker 2>develop and make mistakes and come back from them and

0:48:46.120 --> 0:48:52.800
<v Speaker 2>try new things. And it was like parenting light because ultimately,

0:48:52.800 --> 0:48:55.399
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the day, I wasn't responsible for him,

0:48:55.760 --> 0:48:59.080
<v Speaker 2>but he allowed me, and I love him so much

0:48:59.120 --> 0:49:01.800
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so grateful to him for allowing me into

0:49:01.840 --> 0:49:05.480
<v Speaker 2>that process. Like he would talk to me and we

0:49:05.520 --> 0:49:09.920
<v Speaker 2>would talk about girls or school or you know, family stuff,

0:49:10.000 --> 0:49:15.160
<v Speaker 2>and I realized, Okay, boys are real people, which I

0:49:15.200 --> 0:49:17.839
<v Speaker 2>really didn't know because I only knew dudes who were

0:49:17.880 --> 0:49:22.360
<v Speaker 2>like you know, I was dating or adults like I

0:49:22.400 --> 0:49:25.640
<v Speaker 2>did know boys. And he was my first boy that

0:49:25.680 --> 0:49:29.080
<v Speaker 2>I got to know, and he really helped me be,

0:49:29.400 --> 0:49:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I hope, a better boy.

0:49:31.200 --> 0:49:33.799
<v Speaker 1>Mom. That's so interesting that you said that, because I

0:49:33.840 --> 0:49:36.560
<v Speaker 1>had a very similar experience on what I like about

0:49:36.640 --> 0:49:40.040
<v Speaker 1>you with Amanda. I had three at the time. I

0:49:40.080 --> 0:49:44.400
<v Speaker 1>had two young girls. Yeah, and I had two young girls,

0:49:44.640 --> 0:49:48.600
<v Speaker 1>and I had no experience around teenage girls other than

0:49:48.640 --> 0:49:52.120
<v Speaker 1>my own experiences and those weren't great. So I was

0:49:52.160 --> 0:49:55.040
<v Speaker 1>really nervous about having a teenage girl. And then I

0:49:55.160 --> 0:49:57.319
<v Speaker 1>got to work with Amanda so closely, and we became

0:49:57.440 --> 0:50:01.040
<v Speaker 1>very very close, like sisters, and I got to see

0:50:01.200 --> 0:50:01.880
<v Speaker 1>what I was in.

0:50:02.040 --> 0:50:03.439
<v Speaker 2>What what you're in for?

0:50:03.920 --> 0:50:04.120
<v Speaker 3>Right?

0:50:04.239 --> 0:50:06.319
<v Speaker 1>What was I in for? But not necessarily in a

0:50:06.400 --> 0:50:09.960
<v Speaker 1>bad way, but just like this is normal teenage behavior, right,

0:50:10.440 --> 0:50:12.680
<v Speaker 1>and I should be scared of it, I should love it.

0:50:13.360 --> 0:50:17.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, getting to have relationships with teenagers is like one

0:50:17.920 --> 0:50:21.000
<v Speaker 2>of the perks of our job, you know, like how

0:50:21.040 --> 0:50:24.359
<v Speaker 2>many because my kids they let me in and then

0:50:24.400 --> 0:50:28.520
<v Speaker 2>they don't. And I got to have full, realized relationships

0:50:28.560 --> 0:50:32.200
<v Speaker 2>with teenagers and that allowed me to allows me to

0:50:32.280 --> 0:50:35.759
<v Speaker 2>accept my own teenagers better as exactly as they are

0:50:36.400 --> 0:50:39.840
<v Speaker 2>right now, because I also know it's everything is, everything

0:50:39.920 --> 0:50:45.120
<v Speaker 2>is changing, everything's a moment, and you can't get to

0:50:45.440 --> 0:50:47.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I would love to tell them to cut

0:50:47.080 --> 0:50:50.239
<v Speaker 2>their stupid hair and wear different clothes, and it's like

0:50:50.360 --> 0:50:53.600
<v Speaker 2>not just you know what, it's this is all a

0:50:53.680 --> 0:50:57.960
<v Speaker 2>work in progress. And the more I can step back

0:50:58.400 --> 0:51:01.600
<v Speaker 2>and let them kind of live, the closer I get

0:51:01.600 --> 0:51:02.600
<v Speaker 2>to them m.

0:51:02.760 --> 0:51:04.879
<v Speaker 1>Hm, because they have to figure it out on their own.

0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:08.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, they do, They really do, and they have

0:51:08.920 --> 0:51:11.600
<v Speaker 2>to learn to fail and pick themselves up, and it's

0:51:11.600 --> 0:51:13.200
<v Speaker 2>really hard not to want to go in there and

0:51:13.239 --> 0:51:17.880
<v Speaker 2>just fix everything. But I'm so proud of the people

0:51:17.880 --> 0:51:20.080
<v Speaker 2>that they're becoming, and it's so exciting to see them

0:51:20.160 --> 0:51:26.840
<v Speaker 2>becoming adults. And it's exciting when my sister, the doctor's

0:51:26.920 --> 0:51:30.360
<v Speaker 2>kids a little older than me, and she said about

0:51:30.360 --> 0:51:32.040
<v Speaker 2>this age when I was because I was like, they

0:51:32.120 --> 0:51:36.279
<v Speaker 2>don't want me around, and she's like, teenagers do not

0:51:36.520 --> 0:51:39.319
<v Speaker 2>need you ninety five percent of the time, but the

0:51:39.400 --> 0:51:43.839
<v Speaker 2>five percent they need you, they need you, and the

0:51:43.880 --> 0:51:46.239
<v Speaker 2>only way you'll find out when that is is by

0:51:46.280 --> 0:51:47.200
<v Speaker 2>being around.

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:59.600
<v Speaker 1>And very true. Yeah, we had also similar experiences. I

0:51:59.640 --> 0:52:02.839
<v Speaker 1>think it just growing up in the business and being

0:52:02.880 --> 0:52:05.879
<v Speaker 1>in the press and you know, having people talk about

0:52:05.880 --> 0:52:08.160
<v Speaker 1>our bodies and our faces and our aging and our

0:52:08.200 --> 0:52:10.560
<v Speaker 1>weight and all the things that they feel that it's

0:52:10.560 --> 0:52:13.760
<v Speaker 1>their right to talk about, but also sort of pitting

0:52:13.760 --> 0:52:16.719
<v Speaker 1>women against one another. Did you ever have that experience

0:52:16.760 --> 0:52:18.040
<v Speaker 1>with your castmates?

0:52:18.320 --> 0:52:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I felt it. On Modern Family, the press kept

0:52:21.560 --> 0:52:25.680
<v Speaker 2>trying to make me and Sophia sort of Betty and Veronica,

0:52:26.160 --> 0:52:28.880
<v Speaker 2>and I know they did that with you and Shannon.

0:52:29.239 --> 0:52:32.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I remember it. I remember it so clearly,

0:52:32.080 --> 0:52:34.239
<v Speaker 2>and then I remember seeing you guys. It is just

0:52:34.280 --> 0:52:37.000
<v Speaker 2>so stupid, but I remember seeing you guys on like

0:52:37.000 --> 0:52:40.080
<v Speaker 2>a Today Show segment where you took or some morning

0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:44.440
<v Speaker 2>show and you guys were taking some correspondent like thrift

0:52:44.520 --> 0:52:47.040
<v Speaker 2>shopping or something. You probably don't even remember it, and

0:52:47.080 --> 0:52:52.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Oh, they're friends. This real. That's we're

0:52:52.560 --> 0:52:56.000
<v Speaker 2>not getting real life in the press. I am granted

0:52:56.000 --> 0:52:57.720
<v Speaker 2>that you know it. It was a morning show segment,

0:52:57.920 --> 0:53:01.920
<v Speaker 2>but when Sophia, they were just like determined to pit

0:53:02.000 --> 0:53:04.080
<v Speaker 2>us against each other. I'm like, we hated each other

0:53:04.280 --> 0:53:07.960
<v Speaker 2>or there was only like it's this scarcity mindset that

0:53:08.000 --> 0:53:10.920
<v Speaker 2>there's only only one woman can be happy at a time.

0:53:11.400 --> 0:53:14.440
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, oh no, I love Sophia and

0:53:14.480 --> 0:53:17.840
<v Speaker 2>I love how different we are, and I love what

0:53:18.120 --> 0:53:23.000
<v Speaker 2>she is funny and self effacing and body and she

0:53:23.360 --> 0:53:27.960
<v Speaker 2>loves life and she loves dancing and eating cake and

0:53:28.000 --> 0:53:30.600
<v Speaker 2>all these things. And I'm like what. And I learned

0:53:30.640 --> 0:53:33.520
<v Speaker 2>so much from being around her about what it is

0:53:33.560 --> 0:53:39.320
<v Speaker 2>to be a really powerful, completely in herself like woman.

0:53:40.160 --> 0:53:42.480
<v Speaker 2>No one would mistake her for like a fourteen year

0:53:42.480 --> 0:53:45.000
<v Speaker 2>old boy from behind like they do me all the time,

0:53:47.320 --> 0:53:51.920
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, I found that to be really disappointing on

0:53:52.000 --> 0:53:54.839
<v Speaker 2>the part of the press. But I just never fed

0:53:54.880 --> 0:53:59.319
<v Speaker 2>into that. You know, it was it is, that's a

0:53:59.400 --> 0:54:02.279
<v Speaker 2>scarcity mindset, and there's no such thing as like, oh,

0:54:02.320 --> 0:54:05.160
<v Speaker 2>if one woman's doing well, that means others have to

0:54:05.200 --> 0:54:09.600
<v Speaker 2>step back. It's I can't support.

0:54:09.160 --> 0:54:10.160
<v Speaker 1>That, right.

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:10.600
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:54:11.040 --> 0:54:14.640
<v Speaker 1>It was definitely tricky to navigate through those young adult

0:54:14.680 --> 0:54:19.239
<v Speaker 1>years of being like, wait, what are we Yeah.

0:54:18.480 --> 0:54:21.640
<v Speaker 2>We are we enemies and they yeah people. You know,

0:54:21.960 --> 0:54:27.480
<v Speaker 2>I would see things because I never have never banned tabloids,

0:54:27.640 --> 0:54:30.160
<v Speaker 2>and my mom would always send me pictures out of

0:54:30.160 --> 0:54:34.560
<v Speaker 2>a tablished like, look, but it's a good picture. I go, please, Mom,

0:54:34.600 --> 0:54:37.960
<v Speaker 2>I love you, But no, don't. I don't want to

0:54:37.960 --> 0:54:40.600
<v Speaker 2>see it, right, I don't want to know because also

0:54:40.719 --> 0:54:42.960
<v Speaker 2>they like, you get a picture that you I don't

0:54:43.400 --> 0:54:47.280
<v Speaker 2>where was that camera? I was having lunch with my kids,

0:54:47.600 --> 0:54:49.960
<v Speaker 2>and then you start to get the neurosis about where.

0:54:50.320 --> 0:54:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, I'm like, I can't live like that. But

0:54:54.000 --> 0:54:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I would see sometimes, you know, you're just at the

0:54:56.239 --> 0:55:00.319
<v Speaker 2>grocery store and you see like your face and see

0:55:00.320 --> 0:55:02.560
<v Speaker 2>my face and Sophia like in how we hated each other.

0:55:02.640 --> 0:55:08.200
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, that's so crazy, that is just ridiculous.

0:55:08.239 --> 0:55:11.319
<v Speaker 2>I don't understand why society doesn't have room again like

0:55:11.360 --> 0:55:14.279
<v Speaker 2>goes back to the witches, like we're too scary if

0:55:14.280 --> 0:55:17.360
<v Speaker 2>we're all together. I don't know there's.

0:55:17.160 --> 0:55:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Something there for sure.

0:55:18.719 --> 0:55:19.040
<v Speaker 2>M hm.

0:55:20.000 --> 0:55:22.080
<v Speaker 1>I would be remiss not to ask you this because

0:55:22.200 --> 0:55:25.080
<v Speaker 1>I am a big fan of your early work. Maybe

0:55:25.120 --> 0:55:30.680
<v Speaker 1>nineteen ninety six Pavy Gilmore. Oh, yeah, they're bringing it back.

0:55:30.719 --> 0:55:33.960
<v Speaker 1>They're they're doing a sequel right now. Tex is doing something.

0:55:34.280 --> 0:55:35.439
<v Speaker 1>Are you going to be on it?

0:55:35.920 --> 0:55:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm going, Uh, we shoot in September. I just got

0:55:41.719 --> 0:55:45.759
<v Speaker 2>my dates yesterday, which panics me because it's in It's

0:55:45.800 --> 0:55:47.960
<v Speaker 2>on the East Coast, so I'm like, oh no, I

0:55:48.000 --> 0:55:49.719
<v Speaker 2>did so much back and forth and I'm going to

0:55:49.760 --> 0:55:53.120
<v Speaker 2>miss my kids. I will say I'm not in it

0:55:53.239 --> 0:55:57.799
<v Speaker 2>a ton and I'm okay with that. Adam was so

0:55:57.840 --> 0:56:01.439
<v Speaker 2>sweet and like called me multiple times to make sure,

0:56:01.920 --> 0:56:05.880
<v Speaker 2>like before I got the scriptisay, Adam, I love you.

0:56:05.880 --> 0:56:08.279
<v Speaker 2>You're like one of the kindest people I've ever met you.

0:56:09.040 --> 0:56:12.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't care if I'm not in this movie. I'll

0:56:12.280 --> 0:56:15.840
<v Speaker 2>show up and support it. And but in order for

0:56:15.880 --> 0:56:20.520
<v Speaker 2>it to be, you know, a story about Happy's journey.

0:56:21.440 --> 0:56:25.279
<v Speaker 2>We need to he can't be happy. He can't be

0:56:25.400 --> 0:56:28.799
<v Speaker 2>happily with a girl. So that's all I'll say about that.

0:56:29.960 --> 0:56:31.799
<v Speaker 2>But yes, I'm going to do it and I can't

0:56:31.800 --> 0:56:32.800
<v Speaker 2>and I'm very excited.

0:56:33.040 --> 0:56:36.879
<v Speaker 1>People are going to freak out. Also about your new

0:56:36.880 --> 0:56:37.840
<v Speaker 1>show that's.

0:56:37.600 --> 0:56:39.359
<v Speaker 2>On Peacock Hysteria.

0:56:39.520 --> 0:56:42.120
<v Speaker 1>I saw Hysteria. I watched the trailer for it this morning.

0:56:43.760 --> 0:56:46.719
<v Speaker 1>First of all, I love your whole eighties look, and

0:56:47.920 --> 0:56:51.759
<v Speaker 1>your face looks incredible, like they did like a close

0:56:51.840 --> 0:56:54.759
<v Speaker 1>up on you. I was like, hello, that was good.

0:56:54.920 --> 0:56:57.560
<v Speaker 2>That's either good lighting or someone did some digital retouching,

0:56:57.560 --> 0:57:00.399
<v Speaker 2>which takes the bananas, because you know.

0:57:00.360 --> 0:57:03.040
<v Speaker 1>When you so touch it. I'm looking at you right now,

0:57:03.080 --> 0:57:04.160
<v Speaker 1>you are beautiful.

0:57:04.560 --> 0:57:07.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh that is You're so kind. I mean, we all

0:57:07.719 --> 0:57:11.000
<v Speaker 2>feel like, you know, we came of age right alongside

0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:14.799
<v Speaker 2>of digital and and high death and you go do.

0:57:14.880 --> 0:57:17.200
<v Speaker 1>It must we it's a little too intimate.

0:57:19.360 --> 0:57:22.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm really I'm excited about it. It was it's like

0:57:23.240 --> 0:57:26.640
<v Speaker 2>hoary and which is a genre that I can't watch

0:57:27.120 --> 0:57:31.320
<v Speaker 2>because I get so scared. But it was the people

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:33.800
<v Speaker 2>that were doing it were so fun. And exciting, and

0:57:33.920 --> 0:57:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Okay, I'm gonna try this. I'm just

0:57:35.800 --> 0:57:39.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna do something different, just radically different. And I had

0:57:40.480 --> 0:57:41.360
<v Speaker 2>so much fun.

0:57:41.800 --> 0:57:44.640
<v Speaker 1>You're just you're taking so many great chances right now.

0:57:44.640 --> 0:57:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I love this about this chapter for you.

0:57:48.200 --> 0:57:51.280
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, the backup plan is living in a

0:57:51.320 --> 0:57:56.200
<v Speaker 2>cabin far far away and like some state where you

0:57:56.240 --> 0:57:57.520
<v Speaker 2>don't have to pay high taxes.

0:57:58.000 --> 0:58:01.400
<v Speaker 1>So I'm into that. Take me away if it all.

0:58:01.160 --> 0:58:04.760
<v Speaker 2>Goes wrong, if these chances are are don't pay off,

0:58:05.280 --> 0:58:07.040
<v Speaker 2>that's where I'll be. You can come and visit.

0:58:08.360 --> 0:58:10.400
<v Speaker 1>Well. I want everyone to make sure that they do

0:58:10.520 --> 0:58:13.200
<v Speaker 1>check out Hysteria because it looks really good. It's on

0:58:13.240 --> 0:58:15.960
<v Speaker 1>Peacock and I think it debut is on October eighteenth.

0:58:15.960 --> 0:58:16.840
<v Speaker 1>If I'm not mistaken.

0:58:17.640 --> 0:58:19.520
<v Speaker 2>You have so much more information than I do. I

0:58:19.600 --> 0:58:22.360
<v Speaker 2>just got the trailer yesterday and they Peacock said would

0:58:22.400 --> 0:58:24.200
<v Speaker 2>you post, and I was like, have you watched it? Wait,

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:28.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll watch. It was like the microwave one, the microwave

0:58:29.000 --> 0:58:34.120
<v Speaker 2>yes with the baby you know, yes, good. Yeah. I

0:58:34.160 --> 0:58:36.640
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, this is fun. And the eighties you know,

0:58:37.400 --> 0:58:40.720
<v Speaker 2>the eighties look is not my favorite, but I got

0:58:40.760 --> 0:58:43.040
<v Speaker 2>so into it. While we were there and just I.

0:58:43.160 --> 0:58:45.240
<v Speaker 1>Just loved it, and you're like, great, you look great.

0:58:45.760 --> 0:58:49.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I do a ton of stunts. You did, yes,

0:58:49.760 --> 0:58:54.320
<v Speaker 2>flying to the air and but being bad things happened

0:58:54.320 --> 0:58:56.080
<v Speaker 2>to me. I'm not sure what I wanted to say yet,

0:58:56.240 --> 0:58:57.000
<v Speaker 2>so bad things.

0:58:57.040 --> 0:58:59.400
<v Speaker 1>How did your own stunts you have?

0:58:59.600 --> 0:59:03.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean I had to like, yeah, there's a lot

0:59:03.560 --> 0:59:06.320
<v Speaker 2>of stunts in it. I did a movie for Netflix

0:59:06.440 --> 0:59:09.640
<v Speaker 2>like a couple of years ago, and I wasn't Netflix, sorry,

0:59:09.600 --> 0:59:13.400
<v Speaker 2>it was Amazon. That's why I'm taking miss That's okay,

0:59:14.240 --> 0:59:16.880
<v Speaker 2>and I get killed. I get killed in like the

0:59:16.920 --> 0:59:20.960
<v Speaker 2>first ten pages. But I get to have this really

0:59:21.640 --> 0:59:24.600
<v Speaker 2>massive brutal fight scene with the with the killer in

0:59:24.640 --> 0:59:28.240
<v Speaker 2>the movie, and it was so fun and I had

0:59:28.240 --> 0:59:31.040
<v Speaker 2>to like do so many stunts and learn to shoot

0:59:31.080 --> 0:59:33.600
<v Speaker 2>guns and do all this stuff that I was like, Okay,

0:59:33.640 --> 0:59:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I want more of that. That's really fun. I'd like

0:59:36.000 --> 0:59:37.960
<v Speaker 2>to lean into it because for years and years, I mean,

0:59:38.280 --> 0:59:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Modern Family, the comedy was sometimes physical and I liked

0:59:42.080 --> 0:59:44.080
<v Speaker 2>that totally killer. I don't know why, I'm being just

0:59:44.160 --> 0:59:47.040
<v Speaker 2>a daft idiot, and it was that was really fun,

0:59:47.080 --> 0:59:49.160
<v Speaker 2>and that kind of got me like, yeah, I want

0:59:49.160 --> 0:59:50.480
<v Speaker 2>to do more of that I love.

0:59:50.600 --> 0:59:57.560
<v Speaker 1>You are unstoppable. Come on, look at You're very inspiring. Okay,

0:59:57.560 --> 0:59:59.560
<v Speaker 1>before I let you go, I need to ask you,

1:00:00.120 --> 1:00:02.720
<v Speaker 1>Julie Bowen, what was your last I Choose me moment?

1:00:03.760 --> 1:00:08.240
<v Speaker 3>That's such a big one. I'm looking outside, I'm looking outside.

1:00:08.840 --> 1:00:11.720
<v Speaker 3>This is a dumb one. It's dumb, but it was big.

1:00:11.880 --> 1:00:15.520
<v Speaker 3>I never ever spend money on myself.

1:00:16.840 --> 1:00:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Ever.

1:00:17.840 --> 1:00:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I will spend money on education or travel, but like,

1:00:22.560 --> 1:00:26.760
<v Speaker 2>I never buy myself. I'm a huge Poshmark fan. If

1:00:26.760 --> 1:00:28.920
<v Speaker 2>it's over one hundred dollars, I got it on Poshmark,

1:00:28.960 --> 1:00:29.640
<v Speaker 2>I guarantee you.

1:00:29.920 --> 1:00:31.040
<v Speaker 1>I love Poshmark.

1:00:31.120 --> 1:00:34.400
<v Speaker 2>I love it. I live for Poshmark. And I was

1:00:34.520 --> 1:00:38.680
<v Speaker 2>just away with my sister and she went to this

1:00:38.760 --> 1:00:43.320
<v Speaker 2>boutique and everything there was gorgeous, but it was all

1:00:43.440 --> 1:00:46.520
<v Speaker 2>very pricey and I couldn't justify it. But there was

1:00:46.560 --> 1:00:50.480
<v Speaker 2>this one necklace that had made with a stone from

1:00:50.640 --> 1:00:52.880
<v Speaker 2>I was on Martha's vineyard and the woman who were

1:00:52.880 --> 1:00:56.000
<v Speaker 2>in the boutique made the necklace. It's like a stone

1:00:56.040 --> 1:00:59.800
<v Speaker 2>that's been like like it's held in gold. And it

1:00:59.840 --> 1:01:04.480
<v Speaker 2>was expensive and it was beautiful and meaningful, and I

1:01:04.680 --> 1:01:08.880
<v Speaker 2>bought it for no reason other than I wanted to,

1:01:09.080 --> 1:01:13.000
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, still feel like vaguely guilty even saying it,

1:01:13.040 --> 1:01:16.240
<v Speaker 2>but I was like, yeah, it's a really pretty thing,

1:01:16.720 --> 1:01:19.440
<v Speaker 2>it's from a specific place. I get to do this

1:01:19.480 --> 1:01:24.400
<v Speaker 2>for me. It was it's hard to even admit that, Jenny,

1:01:24.440 --> 1:01:26.760
<v Speaker 2>I can't believe, Like, I didn't know how heavy this

1:01:26.920 --> 1:01:27.520
<v Speaker 2>was going to be.

1:01:29.280 --> 1:01:31.840
<v Speaker 1>No, but it's so important to give yourself things like

1:01:31.920 --> 1:01:35.800
<v Speaker 1>that because you deserve it, and if nobody else is

1:01:35.800 --> 1:01:39.560
<v Speaker 1>buying you gifts at the moment, like buy yourself something,

1:01:39.640 --> 1:01:40.720
<v Speaker 1>make yourself feel good.

1:01:41.200 --> 1:01:43.720
<v Speaker 2>Well that was. That is the first thing that I

1:01:43.760 --> 1:01:47.680
<v Speaker 2>did not posh in I can't even remember how long.

1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:53.760
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I really and I did. I do feel

1:01:53.760 --> 1:01:56.880
<v Speaker 2>good about it, but I also feel vaguely selfish. So

1:01:56.920 --> 1:01:59.800
<v Speaker 2>that was. I wish that I could choose me without

1:01:59.840 --> 1:02:03.240
<v Speaker 2>it being having an undertone of selfishness. But maybe that's

1:02:03.320 --> 1:02:06.080
<v Speaker 2>exactly why you're doing this podcast, is to make people

1:02:06.160 --> 1:02:08.840
<v Speaker 2>have these deeper thoughts about it.

1:02:09.520 --> 1:02:12.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that it's okay to choose yourself.

1:02:13.360 --> 1:02:14.480
<v Speaker 2>Is it?

1:02:14.480 --> 1:02:17.640
<v Speaker 1>It is? I promise you, I promise you, okay, But

1:02:17.720 --> 1:02:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm right there with you. I struggle with it too.

1:02:20.000 --> 1:02:23.120
<v Speaker 1>I think we all struggle with feeling of the feeling

1:02:23.160 --> 1:02:27.240
<v Speaker 1>of guilt or that you know, it's it's really hard

1:02:27.440 --> 1:02:30.200
<v Speaker 1>to be kind to ourselves or do things for ourselves

1:02:30.240 --> 1:02:32.240
<v Speaker 1>when we're so used to doing things for everybody else.

1:02:32.880 --> 1:02:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's really really hard. And when your kids get

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<v Speaker 2>older and they my kids need that less of that

1:02:39.600 --> 1:02:43.480
<v Speaker 2>one on one, you know, like constant attention. You realize

1:02:43.680 --> 1:02:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I realized I didn't have anybody to be nice to,

1:02:47.320 --> 1:02:50.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, like my friends. But then you go, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess it could be nice to me as long

1:02:54.280 --> 1:02:56.520
<v Speaker 2>as as long as nobody makes me say it out loud.

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<v Speaker 2>And then Jenny Garth is going to make me say

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<v Speaker 2>it out loud.

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<v Speaker 1>You're going to make you look in the mirror and

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<v Speaker 1>say it. Oh, Julie, I could talk to you forever.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you. Thank you so much for coming on.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. You're such a delight. I've always enjoyed running

1:03:10.160 --> 1:03:12.200
<v Speaker 2>into you. I can't wait to see more of you.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope this leads to us getting to see each

1:03:14.120 --> 1:03:16.680
<v Speaker 2>other more. Me too, Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. Okay, Wow, that conversation with Julie was just

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<v Speaker 1>so good. I want to thank her for being so

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<v Speaker 1>incredibly open and fun to hang out with. I can

1:03:31.040 --> 1:03:35.800
<v Speaker 1>really relate so much to her journey from the impostor

1:03:35.960 --> 1:03:39.560
<v Speaker 1>syndrome feelings that we talked about, to the struggles with

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<v Speaker 1>body image and how hard it is to believe that

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<v Speaker 1>you are enough. I know a lot of us have

1:03:47.720 --> 1:03:51.800
<v Speaker 1>had these same feelings, but I think this conversation is

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<v Speaker 1>an important reminder to all of us that we're all

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<v Speaker 1>works in progress. It's never too late to start improving

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves and changing those negative thoughts that try to keep

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<v Speaker 1>creeping back in. All they want to do is derail

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<v Speaker 1>us as we continue to choose ourselves week after week.

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<v Speaker 1>This week, let's try to do some breathing, like some

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<v Speaker 1>real breathing. We talked about it with Julie and how

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<v Speaker 1>it has helped her with her anxiety. So this week

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<v Speaker 1>I challenge you to find a guided breathwork video online,

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<v Speaker 1>something that looks good to you, and follow that in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning one day when you wake up or when

1:04:36.440 --> 1:04:40.160
<v Speaker 1>you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and if you're into it,

1:04:40.880 --> 1:04:44.760
<v Speaker 1>keep it up. Maybe it will become your new me

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<v Speaker 1>time ritual. Remember it's never too late to start something new.

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<v Speaker 1>You can check out all our social links in our

1:04:51.480 --> 1:04:54.600
<v Speaker 1>show notes. Are you following us on social media, because

1:04:54.600 --> 1:04:58.240
<v Speaker 1>you should be. Rate and review the podcast, and use

1:04:58.280 --> 1:05:01.160
<v Speaker 1>the hashtag I Choose Me whenever you feel like it.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you, I'll be right here next week, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you choose to be here too,