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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. I

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Speaker 1: love this podcast because I get to sit down and

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Speaker 1: have really cool, insightful conversations with people I respect and admire,

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Speaker 1: and then we all collectively learn from one another. What

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Speaker 1: could be better? My guest today is known for playing

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Speaker 1: the beloved character Claire Dumpy on Modern Family, which she

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Speaker 1: received two Emmys for. She's starring in the new Peacock

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Speaker 1: show Hysteria, coming out in October. She's hilarious, brave, and

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Speaker 1: just an all around badass woman. Please welcome Julie Bowen

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Speaker 1: to the I Choose Me podcast. I just saw you

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Speaker 1: this morning on my TV. Actually, I saw your commercial.

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Speaker 2: For words and is it WhatsApp?

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Speaker 1: Nope, Nope, not that one. The eyes.

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Speaker 2: Drawn Yah, that's right, that's right, that started airing. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I actually have eye problems since so I'm doing and

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Speaker 2: I'm doing a partnership with them. I love that about

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Speaker 2: the eye drops. Yes, they're actually saving my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good. The best part is that my husband

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Speaker 1: was in that commercial with Yes.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you can see him, I mean a second. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it was really fun to see him. He's so handsome.

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Speaker 2: Oh thanks, Yeah, Like I noticed him as I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, what a handsome man. I was like,

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Speaker 2: don't talk to handsome man, you know, like you don't

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Speaker 2: want to ever talk to like somebody really good looking

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Speaker 2: on a set because it just, I don't know, could

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Speaker 2: get concentuated. Yeah, I could make it weird. And then

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Speaker 2: he came over and he's like, you know, you know

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Speaker 2: my wife Jenny Gart And I was like, oh my god, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm totally talking to you. I don't care. I don't

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Speaker 2: care how good looking you are. Now I'm talking to you.

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Speaker 1: I was so glad. I was like, you better talk

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Speaker 1: to her because he kind of to do his own

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Speaker 1: he loves doing his commercials.

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Speaker 2: Well, he's you got a good looking one.

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Speaker 1: I want to go. Can we start at your beginning

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Speaker 1: because I find these stories fascinating. So tell me about

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Speaker 1: the kind of household that you grew up in. I

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Speaker 1: know that you were in Maryland, right, was that where you.

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Speaker 3: Grew up in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I grew up in Baltimore, just outside of the city,

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Speaker 2: so it was suburbia, but it was still Baltimore with

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Speaker 2: two sisters, no boys, and went to all girls' schools

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Speaker 2: and like never did not know what to do with

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Speaker 2: a boy. I did not have a boy in my

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Speaker 2: class until I was fourteen and I went to boarding school.

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Speaker 1: Whoa, yeah, that's a culture shock.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but then I end up with three boys for kids,

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Speaker 2: I've got three. I've got a seventeen year old and

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Speaker 2: two fifteen year olds and they're all boys. And I

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Speaker 2: literally had just been lost since day one because I

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Speaker 2: grew up with old girls.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny you say, you're one of three girls.

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Speaker 1: So I thought always that I would have three boys,

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Speaker 1: Like I just knew when I grow up, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: have three sons. And then I grew up and I

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Speaker 1: had three daughters. Yeah, so exact opposite of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I've seen your girls on social media and

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Speaker 2: they are so gorgeous? Is it? I mean, are they

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Speaker 2: all out of the house? No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, just one of them is out of the house,

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Speaker 1: one officially, but the other one is like biting at

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Speaker 1: the bit to get out of the house. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: well where are.

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Speaker 2: They gonna go? Like, come on, your house is gonna

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Speaker 2: be nicer than whatever, shiny apartment right.

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Speaker 1: And nobody's gonna be cooking for them and cleaning for them, doing.

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Speaker 2: Their laundry, folding their laundry and little packages.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, uh huh No, there's gonna be a reality moment

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Speaker 1: for my youngest daughter when she goes to college. I think.

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Speaker 2: So you still have seen but you still have two

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Speaker 2: at home and one is still in high they're both

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Speaker 2: still in high school.

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Speaker 1: I have one that's in New York. She's a career woman.

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Speaker 1: I have one that is Lola, who's twenty one, who

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Speaker 1: was in school in New York. She moved back home.

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Speaker 1: Now she's going to school out here. She's living at home.

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Speaker 1: I could not be happier. And then my daughter who's

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Speaker 1: going into our senior year this year. Oh wow, she.

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Speaker 2: To were senior year. We have kids. I have a

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Speaker 2: rising senior.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you have a seventeen year old.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. They all know each other through social media and

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Speaker 2: they all hang out because you're living in studio city

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Speaker 2: Ish Hills.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm out of the city a little bit more

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Speaker 1: now we moved out east.

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Speaker 2: Which does she go to school in She does?

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I wonder if they know each other.

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Speaker 1: I bet they do. Its like a it's like the

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Speaker 1: biggest city ever. But somehow they all know each other.

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Speaker 2: They all know each other from Snapchat. They literally look

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Speaker 2: on snap maps and they're like, I mean my kids

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Speaker 2: anytime I drive, we're driving down the street and they

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Speaker 2: see a group of it's like so and so. Then yeah,

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Speaker 2: I know those kids. Keep going. I'm like, just verify

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Speaker 2: that you know them and then keep up.

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Speaker 1: Yes, isn't that creepy? They know where everybody is all

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Speaker 1: the time?

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Speaker 2: Now, I know, I know. It's really weird. It's really

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Speaker 2: weird because there's nothing more disturbing than me. I always

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Speaker 2: a turning off my location services, uh, you know, unless

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Speaker 2: I need them to be on. The weird feeling of

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Speaker 2: being followed or tracked freaks me out. And these kids

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Speaker 2: are so native to this idea of everybody knows where

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Speaker 2: everybody is all the time. Just deal with it.

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Speaker 1: Who do you share your location with? Do you share

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Speaker 1: your location with anyone?

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Speaker 2: I only share it with my kids for oh, and

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Speaker 2: my life wife. I have a Rachel is my Rachel

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Speaker 2: Field is my producing partner and my like if I

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Speaker 2: was if I was lucky enough to be gay, she

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Speaker 2: would be my person forever. But we're both straight, and

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Speaker 2: we spend like eighteen hours a day together and so yes,

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Speaker 2: we share our locations with each other.

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Speaker 1: That's good, that's it. Yeah, I share mine with my

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Speaker 1: best friend Adele, And I would have to say she's

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Speaker 1: my life wife too. I wish I could be gay

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Speaker 1: because if I think, it would be so amazing to

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Speaker 1: be married to her.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I am married to Rachel, Like she has

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Speaker 2: a room in my home, Like, oh, my love, she

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Speaker 2: is my life wife. She has a boyfriend, and I

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Speaker 2: am so excited for her because she's younger and she's

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Speaker 2: gonna get married and have babies. I can't wait. But

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Speaker 2: she's my person, and it's really important to have a

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Speaker 2: person and not just a dude, you know. Yeah, women

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Speaker 2: are women in friendships. I've been thinking about this so

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Speaker 2: much lately. Like, I mean that women used to be

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Speaker 2: you couldn't hang out, Like if somebody was claimed called

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Speaker 2: a witch in you know, the sixteen hundreds, everybody had

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Speaker 2: to stay away from her or else you'd be called

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Speaker 2: a witch. And there's always been this historical process of

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Speaker 2: keeping women separated because if they're together, it's what too powerful,

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Speaker 2: too scary.

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Speaker 1: They're afraid of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and I'm what are you afraid of? You

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Speaker 2: make everything better?

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to be a witch.

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Speaker 2: Sign me up. I have some really good witch friends.

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Speaker 2: I have a one friend who is a terrific witch,

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Speaker 2: and she freaks me out. Sometimes. She knows way more

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Speaker 2: than like you don't tell I don't tell her anything.

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Speaker 2: She knows everything. She gives me all sorts of She's like, here,

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Speaker 2: carry this crystal. I'm like what, And then I'm like

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Speaker 2: why is it burning my hand? And she's like just nodding.

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, So you went to an ivy league college, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did. What did you study? Did you went to Brown?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 1: Did you study acting? There was that like what you

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Speaker 1: thought you were going to go into.

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Speaker 2: I always thought I was gonna do like we would

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Speaker 2: put on plays in our yard. That's what we did.

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Speaker 2: My mom was not into television. It was you know,

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Speaker 2: the seventies early eighties, like benign neglect, like get out

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Speaker 2: and come back for dinner. She literally got one of

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Speaker 2: those triangles d D.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was huge, though, like one of those big, like

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Speaker 2: branch style ones that she could ring when it was

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Speaker 2: time to come home, so you could hear it all

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Speaker 2: over the neighborhood. We knew we weren't allowed to cross

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Speaker 2: like the big street, but otherwise we were like wild animals.

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Speaker 2: It was fantastic, and we would It was a bunch

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Speaker 2: of girls in our neighborhood. There was a couple boys,

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Speaker 2: but we didn't pay a whole lot of attention to them.

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Speaker 2: And we put on plays. That's what we did. That

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Speaker 2: would be our project. And we put on these very

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Speaker 2: elaborate productions. But my older sister, you know, families label

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Speaker 2: you and you get like your role. You were the

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Speaker 2: lawyer or and she was the actress, and I then

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Speaker 2: had to be something else.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, what did you choose? Well, what

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Speaker 1: did you I was.

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Speaker 2: Supposed to be the artist, and then my younger sister

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Speaker 2: was always the doctor, and she did become a doctor.

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Speaker 2: And then my oldest sister and I Mollie, and I

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Speaker 2: eventually flip flopped. She is an artist and I'm actress.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, they had you pegged wrong. I love

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Speaker 1: that they did.

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Speaker 2: So. In college, I was really scared of all the actors.

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Speaker 2: Brown had a very fancy theater department, and I always

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Speaker 2: felt like they were terrifying and so thinking that I

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Speaker 2: was supposed to be the artist, I studied art history

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Speaker 2: and I became a Renaissance studies major.

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Speaker 1: Whoa it was.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I went to Italy, lived there for a year.

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Speaker 2: I spoke fluent Italian, and I was just like, I

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Speaker 2: guess that's what my major is. And then at the time,

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Speaker 2: you know, school cost a lot less. My parents were

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Speaker 2: pretty awesome about education. They said, study whatever you want

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Speaker 2: in college. Grad school is where you really focus, and

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Speaker 2: something that we would never say to our kids now

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Speaker 2: because we're like, it's eighty thousand dollars a year. It out.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, and then at the end

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Speaker 2: of college, I said I want to go to grad

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Speaker 2: school for acting. I started doing acting at Brown and

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Speaker 2: this indie film came to town. And this is like

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Speaker 2: ninety one, so it was like literally film in a

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Speaker 2: film camera, and the opportunity to get film on yourself

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Speaker 2: was that was hard back then, Like it didn't just magically.

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Speaker 2: Everybody didn't have.

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Speaker 1: A phone, right, You couldn't just film yourself, right.

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Speaker 2: So I got the lead in this little indie film

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Speaker 2: that was really cool and black and white and super

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Speaker 2: artsy and awesome, and I was like, oh, I love this.

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Speaker 2: I was doing some plays, but I was like this.

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Speaker 2: I loved doing film right away. I was like, it's

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Speaker 2: so collaborative. This wasn't this feeling of like you're all

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Speaker 2: alone on stage. It was like there's the guy with

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Speaker 2: the boom pole and somebody's holding a light. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is so fun. And so right

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Speaker 2: away I got that bug. And so I wanted to

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Speaker 2: go to grad school for acting. And my parents like, not,

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Speaker 2: that's not what we met. We met like the lawyer,

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Speaker 2: like master's degree, and God bless them. They were like,

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Speaker 2: if that's your chosen path, you're on your own. And

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Speaker 2: so I moved to New York and waited a lot

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Speaker 2: of tables and started taking a bunch of classes and

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Speaker 2: got an agent and did a bunch of really silly commercials.

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Speaker 2: But they paid the bills. And you know, I clearly

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Speaker 2: still do commercials because they still pay the bills.

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Speaker 1: God love them. Ah, you want to go back to

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Speaker 1: You've You've chosen to talk about this before you struggled

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Speaker 1: when you're a teenager with eating disorders? Yeah, body image issues?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, when.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that started for you? And do you remember,

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Speaker 1: like what was the tipping point that made you get help?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Well, I was I was. And again it's like

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Speaker 2: language we would never use now, and I just have

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Speaker 2: to like preface it because we said things so casually

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Speaker 2: then that were we would never say to a child now.

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Speaker 2: But I was like the fat kid, and it wasn't fat.

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Speaker 2: And if you if I was walking around now as

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Speaker 2: a you know, twelve year old, you wouldn't ever say that.

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Speaker 2: But beauty standards were really different. And I was in

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Speaker 2: elementary school until you know, sixth grade, and my two

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Speaker 2: best friends were ballerinas. So they were these lithe, gorgeous spinning,

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Speaker 2: spinning and they both ended up leaving Baltimore to become

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Speaker 2: professional dancers at thirteen. One went to the Royal Ballet

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Speaker 2: and one went to American Ballet. And you know, they

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Speaker 2: were fantastic and fun and they happened to have these

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Speaker 2: beautiful bodies. But I was always compare and despair and

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Speaker 2: I was like the chunky one. I was like, I

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Speaker 2: always felt like they're friend. They never said that to me.

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Speaker 2: This was all an internal dialogue. And then I had

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Speaker 2: an opportunity that summer between sixth and seventh grade going

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Speaker 2: to a new school. I'm like reinvention, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: start that. I'm going to lose weight, and I did,

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Speaker 2: and I was really good at it, and I felt

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Speaker 2: it felt great. It actually felt really good. And then

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Speaker 2: it became a thing where you can't go back. You know,

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Speaker 2: going back somehow is a failure, and but going forward,

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Speaker 2: even I knew, I was like, you can't go forward forever.

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Speaker 2: You can't. You can't lose weight until you don't you're

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Speaker 2: at your birth weight, you know, like seven pounds is

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Speaker 2: not my goal. But I think I discovered in that

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Speaker 2: a sense of a false sense of control, and also

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Speaker 2: so much positive feedback at first, and then you sort

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Speaker 2: of crossed this line. Then you look great, You look

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Speaker 2: so great. How do you do it? Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: you're so amazing. It was so disciplined, incredible, and then

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden, one day goes that's enough. Oh wait,

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Speaker 2: what changed? But they were right, I mean, my poor parents,

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Speaker 2: God bless them, were like, oh, we have three girls.

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Speaker 2: Of course, we got one with an eating disorder, and

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Speaker 2: they did every intervention that they could and put me therapy.

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Speaker 2: But honestly, it was not until the advent of prozac,

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Speaker 2: God love you Prozac, that I really was able to

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Speaker 2: turn the volume down on that internal dialogue that I

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Speaker 2: had to look a certain way and fit to a

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Speaker 2: certain size, that that noise finally got turned down.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you went on medication. Help you with those yes,

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Speaker 1: negative thoughts? Interesting? Well, how old were you?

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Speaker 2: I was eight nineteen. I mean i've been and I've

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Speaker 2: been struggling like I was, you know, I was. I'd

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Speaker 2: get a little better and then I get a lot worse,

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Speaker 2: and then you know, they didn't have medication back then.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it wasn't just came out because we're about

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Speaker 2: the same age.

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Speaker 1: And I remember going on prozac very young as well, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And being like and all my friends were like, I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to. I thought, oh no, this is so weird.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was like, you know, psych meds, you

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Speaker 2: know where you think of like lithium and thorisine and

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Speaker 2: people sort of drooling.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I had a really wonderful doctor in Maryland, in

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Speaker 2: Baltimore who was out of Johns Hopkins. And he came

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Speaker 2: to my house, the nicest man alive. And I went

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Speaker 2: to his office. But he drew a map of like

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Speaker 2: this sort of wave, and he drew a line and

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Speaker 2: he drew this wave, and he said, normal is a wave.

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Speaker 2: It goes up and down, life goes up and down,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, but normal should go across this line

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Speaker 2: of oh I feel good, feels so good, and you're

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Speaker 2: experiencing your whole life below the line, and I was like, oh, so,

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Speaker 2: I would you know? At best, I was still pretty

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Speaker 2: bummed out. I was depressed, and he and everybody was

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Speaker 2: trying to sort of treat this eating thing. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, he explained to me, and rightly, so it's

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Speaker 2: not an eating thing. It's a mental thing, and it

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Speaker 2: is really a function of your depression and anxiety, and

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Speaker 2: this is how you're managing it. He was right. When

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Speaker 2: you're really hungry and you're really limiting your ability to

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Speaker 2: express yourself, you limit your feelings as well. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, this is working. I'm not having any feelings.

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Speaker 2: I'm like half dead. It's awesome.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 2: So and prozac just it's like I went to hear

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Speaker 2: like it was like the light turned on. It took

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Speaker 2: four six weeks, and just remember being in an argument

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Speaker 2: with my boyfriend at the time, who would really get

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Speaker 2: to me and upset me, and all of a sudden

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Speaker 2: I started laughing. He goes, what are you laughing about

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Speaker 2: and I said, I'm laughing because this is a whole

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Speaker 2: conversation is bullshit. This is ridiculous. And I realized, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm touching something normal. I don't have to

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Speaker 2: take everything so seriously and horribly. And it was a

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Speaker 2: huge game changer, and I've always I'm happy to admit

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Speaker 2: that I've been on Prozex. It's the dawn of time

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Speaker 2: because it changed my life.

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Speaker 1: And it's worked for you throughout the years of your life,

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Speaker 1: like you didn't have to change medications or.

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Speaker 2: I thought, you know, everybody goes through different periods where

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Speaker 2: I would go off of it and be like, I

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Speaker 2: don't need this, right right, I do.

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Speaker 1: That's like the story of it all. Like you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm great, I don't need this anymore. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: just go off of it for a while, and then

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Speaker 1: you just it starts to creep back in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and yes, I try. And then I I when

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Speaker 2: I I was trying to get pregnant, I thought, okay,

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Speaker 2: I needed to be like holistically pure and clean and

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Speaker 2: nothing in me. And that was a terrible idea because

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Speaker 2: then I'm like, why would I bring a child into

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Speaker 2: this world? Because this immediately just went back into some

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Speaker 2: major depression. And I went and I saw a woman

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Speaker 2: at UCLA who did a study on women depression and

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Speaker 2: pregnancy and stuff. And I waited and waited to get

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Speaker 2: into her, and I paid a fortune and I go

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00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 2: in and fifteen minutes she goes, looks at my chart,

346
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 2: looks everything. She goes, You're on twenty miligrams of prozac.

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Speaker 2: It's like spitting into the ocean. Take your drugs, Take

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Speaker 2: your meds. And I was like, what, I waited months

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Speaker 2: for this. She's like, it's not going to do anything

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Speaker 2: to your baby. You're going to be absolutely fine. I

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Speaker 2: did go down, just like to ten milligrams, baby, because

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Speaker 2: I still felt like, I don't you know, you're creating

353
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Speaker 2: something in your body. Yeah, And I thought, if they

354
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: all fail third grade, it's going to be my fault.

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Speaker 1: Did did any of them fail?

356
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,440
Speaker 2: No grade, no memories, fail third grade? They're all perfectly

357
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 2: normal and healthy. And we talk about mental health, and

358
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 2: we talk about, you know, good medication, and you know,

359
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,680
Speaker 2: should you ever need to avail yourself with medication, don't

360
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Speaker 2: be shy. You know, sometimes depression and anxiety can run

361
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Speaker 2: in a family. And I'm always like looking at them

362
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Speaker 2: like good, you good. They're like, mom, I'm fine. But

363
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Speaker 2: they're also dudes.

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Speaker 1: I know. Well that's got to make a big difference

365
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Speaker 1: in it too. But like I do sometimes do that

366
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Speaker 1: as well, Like I project my anxiety over what I've

367
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Speaker 1: been through or just like trying to figure my life

368
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Speaker 1: out when it comes to like my emotional orlder coaster

369
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Speaker 1: or my medications or whatever it's been. And I sometimes

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Speaker 1: will project that onto my kids maybe and give them

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Speaker 1: worries that they didn't even have, like yeah, I know, I.

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Speaker 2: Know I have this one of you know, I've got

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Speaker 2: twins and they're very different, and one is mister social

374
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 2: and like super sporty, and his twin brother is a

375
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 2: not identical, is much more like I was just quieter

376
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: and kind of hangs back and then joins it when

377
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 2: he feels like it. But I am guilty of projecting

378
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 2: onto him. Oh no, oh no, you're depressed.

379
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 1: Something's wrong.

380
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 2: It's like what you know, like, don't put that on him. Luckily,

381
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 2: I have a great therapist who tells me to stop

382
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Speaker 2: doing that, so I don't do it.

383
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Speaker 1: Oh God, love therapy, Oh yeah, the best I can

384
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Speaker 1: really relate though, with your struggles with your body image

385
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: and everything, even at such a young age, even before

386
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Speaker 1: Hollywood was ever in the picture. You know, just the

387
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: pressure that we, like you said, compare and despair, like

388
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 1: what we the pressure we put on ourselves.

389
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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, look you were how old were.

390
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 1: You on Io two and L.

391
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: Twenty seventeen seventeen. Yeah, I mean I can't imagine. I

392
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,360
Speaker 2: cannot imagine and having gone through with my I call

393
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 2: them my fake kids from Modern Family and watching them

394
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 2: grow up in the public eye and go through literally

395
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 2: changing bodies and hair and faces and everything, and going

396
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,959
Speaker 2: how are you doing this? I was in awe of

397
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 2: their composure and their ability to say and they were

398
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 2: living out loud and on social media and getting hate

399
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 2: on social media, and I'm like, maybe you should just

400
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 2: not be on Twitter or Instagram and maybe you shouldn't

401
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 2: do those things. And they were like, we're fine, We're fine.

402
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,360
Speaker 2: It was just they they were had so much more

403
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 2: composure about who they were in the world. But I've

404
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 2: definitely no, I can't imagine having done that myself, and

405
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 2: I can't imagine and how you did it. Yeah, I

406
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: mean that was and that was a rocket chip of

407
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 2: a show. Nine o two and oh that was like

408
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 2: game changer.

409
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 1: And that was in the nineties where anybody could say

410
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 1: anything about you or your body.

411
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and it was okay exceptable, that was okay

412
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 2: until like five years ago.

413
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like right, but when we struggle with

414
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Speaker 1: our body image and then we choose to start to

415
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,719
Speaker 1: change the way our brain thinks and we start to

416
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: love our bodies. Yeah, that is like the ultimate I

417
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 1: Choose me moment? When did that happen for you? When

418
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: were you like, was it because of the medication? Do

419
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: you think that helped you reach that point?

420
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 2: Definitely? Without without medication and you know, the help of SSRIs,

421
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: I don't think I could ever have said I choose

422
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: me at all. And I know that there was also

423
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 2: a lot of work alongside it. You know, I've had

424
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: great therapists over the years. I would have to say, really,

425
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 2: the I Choose me, the biggest moment of that was

426
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 2: much later, and I will never speak ill of my

427
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: ex husband, but I needed to get divorced and we

428
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 2: did get divorced, and I will never like go into

429
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: the nitty gritty of it, but that was ultimately the

430
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 2: first time as I was an adult I was a

431
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 2: mother and I was living alone, you know, I'd had

432
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Speaker 2: my kids for half the time, but I really had

433
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Speaker 2: to go, Okay, you need to put yourself first. It's

434
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 2: still hard to say that. It's so hard to say

435
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,880
Speaker 2: it because if you're not okay, you cannot carry this,

436
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 2: you can't pull this train. And it's really hard. It's

437
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: still it's hard to say out loud because it feels

438
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: like shameful.

439
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: Would you say that? Like for me, it was very

440
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: hard for me to say I love myself and everyone

441
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: would always say, oh, well, you can never really love

442
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: someone else and to truly love yourself. And I used

443
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: to just roll my eyes at that and think I

444
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:08,239
Speaker 1: can love people. Fine, I'm good. But it was it

445
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 1: was the point of saying I do love myself that

446
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: really shifted everything for me and being okay and able,

447
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: like you said, to say that and feel me about it.

448
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I still can't say that out loud, like

449
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 2: I can't. It just feels like, oh no, they're going

450
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: to come for me, you know, like I don't know

451
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: about you, but I don't. I have a hard no

452
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: googling rule, like I don't google myself. When my kids

453
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 2: got old, enough to be online all the time and everything.

454
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 2: I said, I don't ever want to know if you

455
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 2: see something, I recommend you don't google me or yourselves

456
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 2: because you will come up. And I said, I don't

457
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 2: think it's a good idea. I think it's really unhealthy.

458
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 2: But if you do, I don't need to hear about

459
00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: it because it is too upsetting, which means I'm still vulnerable,

460
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: you know. And my therapist says to me all the time,

461
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 2: I want you to get to a place where you

462
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 2: just say I don't give a shit. I don't give

463
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 2: a shit, But not there yet. It's really hard to say,

464
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 2: you know, I am enough. I've gotten to a point

465
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 2: in my life where I can say that about other people,

466
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: and I think that that's a good indication, like a

467
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: good step of going, Oh, I am not demanding perfection

468
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: of the people in my life. I'm not demanding that

469
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 2: everybody beats this banana's high standard. And I can then

470
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 2: see that reflected back to me, like why do you

471
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: hold yourself to this ridiculous standard as well?

472
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: So hard on ourselves?

473
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, so hard, so hard, and women have to do

474
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 2: everything like we have to do. I was, I had

475
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,199
Speaker 2: babies and I was breastfeeding, and I was going to

476
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 2: work at five am. I had three kids in diaper,

477
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 2: and you know, you're going to work every day and going,

478
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, and you still need to be nice

479
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: and professional and you have to look good and you're

480
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 2: not sleeping at all, and it's an enormous amount of pressure.

481
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 2: But I think it was such a loving atmosphere on set.

482
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: I was so lucky on Modern Family. I felt like,

483
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 2: as much as you know, getting up at you know,

484
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 2: four thirty in the morning to get to work and

485
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: be a pain and not being with your kids is awful.

486
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 2: I loved being there so much, and I felt so

487
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 2: much validation and I felt so good. I spent the

488
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 2: first year or year and a half of Modern Family

489
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: being terrified because everybody there was so funny and so

490
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: good at what they did.

491
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know.

492
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: I mean, how did you feel when you did it sitcom?

493
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 2: Suddenly you were like you were like in front of

494
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 2: a live audience, you know, having to get the big laughs.

495
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. And I just did an episode called

496
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: about imposter syndrome and just drugg that throughout my whole life,

497
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: and that was one of the major moments when it

498
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: really was clear to me that I was having it

499
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 1: was when I was thrust into that world of doing

500
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: something I didn't know how to do and doing just

501
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 1: what you did, like comparing myself and saying I wasn't

502
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: good enough and I don't belong here and everybody's so

503
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: much better than me, and all that messaging can just

504
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,239
Speaker 1: really mess with you.

505
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does, and I can't even I mean, you

506
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: went from I mean you were like a drama, you know,

507
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 2: you were you were like literally lea teen soap opera

508
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 2: of our time, and then you got to do a sitcom.

509
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 2: I remember watching it, boy, like does she know how

510
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: to do that? Like that's how does she stand there?

511
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 2: And like go in to hold for the laugh and

512
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 2: all that stuff, And it fucks with your head. Yeah,

513
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 2: especially when you're with people who I mean, I look

514
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 2: at Tyberell and before a scene, like he went a

515
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 2: one line in the scene, he'd be like walking around

516
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 2: thinking that, go, what are you thinking about? Like it's

517
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 2: one line, and then he would bust out something genius

518
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: and brilliant. I'm like, oh my god, why I need

519
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: to think more? I'm not good enough? But maybe just

520
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 2: a function of time or the fact that that was

521
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 2: the most loving and supportive environment in the entire world

522
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: that I just started to feel like, Okay, maybe I'm

523
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: never going to be the best here, but I can

524
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: hold my own and I felt confident about that.

525
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, it changes. This is going to another very personal topic.

526
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: Some people don't know this, but you have a pacemaker,

527
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: and I'm fascinating to this. I want to know all

528
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: about it. Why do you have a pacemaker? When did

529
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: you get it? How do you live with it? Tell

530
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: me everything.

531
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: I have a pacemaker that I got when I was

532
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 2: twenty nine.

533
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: Wow.

534
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 2: I have been a really competitive runner all throughout high

535
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 2: school and I was really good at it, but it

536
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 2: was it, I guess was taking its toll. Also, not

537
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 2: eating wasn't a great idea and do some damage. Yeah,

538
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: and I genetically my dad is an incredibly low resting

539
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: heart rate. I always had a low resting heart rate,

540
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: but it started to get really so like low and

541
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 2: uneven that I noticed and it would feel almost like

542
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 2: I was going to pass out when I was like

543
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: sitting or watching a movie, like it would get solo

544
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,719
Speaker 2: that I was like, wait, and my sister was in

545
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: med school or maybe her residency at the time, and

546
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 2: she had a stethoscope one day and she just listened

547
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: to my heart. Because what did they tell you that is?

548
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 2: I said, Oh, they say it's runner's heart. It's like

549
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 2: a thing that happens when people are really athletic and

550
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 2: run a lot and they get a super low heart rate.

551
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: Because that is not what that is. And I said,

552
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 2: but and she insisted that I go see cardiologist immediately.

553
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 2: And I was like, and I tried to put it off.

554
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 2: And I was doing two pilots that year, like two

555
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 2: like back to back. You know, no one takes a

556
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 2: day off of work. And I was like, well, I can't.

557
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: I can't because I've got a lot of other things

558
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 2: going on. But she wouldn't let it go. And I

559
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: went to four different cardiologists and they all were like, oh,

560
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 2: you need a pacemaker. And I was what, And yeah,

561
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: I was so freaked out. And you know, I only

562
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 2: knew them as like a box on somebody's like chest

563
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 2: or something. Mine's underneath the muscles sort of in through

564
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: my armpit.

565
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good. So it doesn't like show itself.

566
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: It does some like in some outfits you can sort

567
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 2: of see it, but I'm like at a point where

568
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't care.

569
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: Look, you just said it. I don't care.

570
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: That's true. I don't care because the pace it's such

571
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: As much as I freaked out about it at the

572
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: time and thought, oh no, this is like what does

573
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,959
Speaker 2: this mean I'm dying or I'm a free or something,

574
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: I learned about the anatomy of the heart and it

575
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: was there's an electrical impulse that wasn't traveling through the

576
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 2: vagueal nerve in the middle. And it's such an easy fix.

577
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: And I tell people this all the time because I've

578
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 2: met so many young people who have pacemakers, because I

579
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 2: have one, and it was such a simple fix. And

580
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: I have to get the battery changed every i don't know,

581
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 2: seven years or something, which means they take out the

582
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 2: whole thing and put it back in. It's an operation,

583
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 2: but otherwise it does not interfere with my life or

584
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 2: change it in any way. And I'm just so grateful

585
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: that my sister identified that this was a problem.

586
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: I mean, that little box is going to keep you

587
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: alive for longer than any.

588
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: Long too long.

589
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 1: They were like, please stop part.

590
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 2: When I when I get you know, you have kids

591
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: and suddenly you have to make a will, like because

592
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 2: I didn't have a will until I have kids. And

593
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 2: I was like, and they're like, you have to have

594
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 2: it somebody who has your medical directive and all that stuff.

595
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I made my lawyer write

596
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: in like unplug my pace, turn it off. He's like,

597
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,959
Speaker 2: I'm wait, is that a thing? I was like, just

598
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 2: write it in there that like if I am in

599
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 2: a coma, turn off the fucking box because I'm not.

600
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to be kept alive from the box.

601
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: And he was like, I don't know if that's the

602
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 2: way it works.

603
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: I was just right, that doesn't sound fun.

604
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: No, but I'm not so concerned anymore.

605
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: So we talked about your the beginnings and your your

606
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: eating disordered. How do you feel now though in your

607
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: body your pacemaker like you have. It seems like you've

608
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 1: seem amazing care of yourself.

609
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm living with the fallout of not having

610
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: taken amazing care of myself right now. You know, I

611
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: don't know, maybe you feel the same way. There's something

612
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: about you go through I said, I mean my body

613
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: was destroyed after babies, you know, and you suddenly start going,

614
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 2: what was I complaining about? At least my skin didn't

615
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: look like a melted candle. At least I could wear

616
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: a bikini and not have to wear like a Lily

617
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 2: pulletzer with a skirt one piece. Why Lily, We love you, Lily.

618
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, that feeling of oh my god, I don't

619
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: want to waste any more time. I wasted way too

620
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 2: long and when I didn't realize how good I had it.

621
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 2: And I think to myself whenever I get into like

622
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: a little bit of a toilet spin in my head

623
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: about oh I'm not good enough, or oh I'm looking

624
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 2: old or whatever. I go, in a year, you're going

625
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 2: to look back to today and go, what was I thinking?

626
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: In ten years are going to be like, why were

627
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 2: you not naked running down the streets having so much fun?

628
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: We spend so much time worrying about it, and that

629
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: I think just perpetuates it and makes us feel and

630
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 1: look older.

631
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So to really appreciate, like, I can I

632
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 2: can move my body, I can go running, I can

633
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 2: I'm recently obsessed with the rest of America pickleball, and

634
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 2: I can play for two hours at a time, and

635
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm so glad that I can do

636
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 2: all these things. I'm so happy that my body is

637
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 2: strong in serving me and hasn't hasn't you know, I've

638
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 2: had a couple of injuries over the years. When you

639
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: have those, you, oh my god, is this you become

640
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 2: very grateful for just a healthy, functioning body, and that

641
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 2: is much more. How I look at myself, I'm like,

642
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,280
Speaker 2: I'm strong as hell, and that is that has served

643
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 2: me well.

644
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. If anything that should make you feel proud and

645
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: love yourself, health.

646
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 2: Can't, Jenny, I can't do it.

647
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: Here's what I need you to do. I need you

648
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: when we're done, I want you to go in the bathroom,

649
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and look into your beautiful eyes

650
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: and say I love you. And you know it's going

651
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: to feel gross.

652
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 2: I can't do it. I am. I have a whole

653
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 2: visualization process with sort of another.

654
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: Mem wait meant wait another you like a younger.

655
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, that I take care of her and I

656
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: tell her how great she is. It's perfect. I can't

657
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 2: get to the mirror yet, but I do visual I

658
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 2: do work very hard, and like you know, because when

659
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: you're suffering, when you have anxiety, or fear. I always think, Okay,

660
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 2: what do you need? It's not you. I'm the adult,

661
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 2: I'm in charge. I am smart and capable and strong.

662
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 2: This feeling is coming from some other place, probably an

663
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: earlier place, and I just try and think about like

664
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 2: this younger person, I'm like, what do you need? And

665
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 2: just asking that question usually helps resolve the anxiety.

666
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

667
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 2: Just acknowledge it and go, oh, poor thing, Okay, I

668
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 2: get it. Just I see you. Life is scary. We

669
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 2: all carry around so much old shit, and I don't

670
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 2: try to necessarily get rid of the old shit.

671
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: I just acknowledge it and just embrace it. I love this.

672
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: I know you're there. I hear you.

673
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the best you can do, because you can't

674
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: get rid of it.

675
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 2: To watch that documentary on Phil Stutz, the one Jonah Hill.

676
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: He has a whole thing about like I mean, I

677
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: don't know. He could be a giant quack. I don't know.

678
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 2: I just watched the documentary, but he has a whole

679
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 2: thing about like your shadow self, and that it's this

680
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 2: like amalgamation of all the parts of you that you

681
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 2: think that are bad and if you don't acknowledge it,

682
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 2: it turns time. But if you could just acknowledge it

683
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 2: and say, yep, it's like my shadow, it's my friend,

684
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 2: it's just there, it somehow like turns the noise down

685
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: and makes it less potent.

686
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 1: And we all have that shadow or.

687
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: That everybody has it. Everybody has it.

688
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 1: Unless you're like you feel like it's only you.

689
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 2: Sure, But that is the ultimate sort of like I'm

690
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 2: a piece of shit, but I'm a piece of shit

691
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 2: in the center of the universe and everyone's talking about it,

692
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: and you're like, no, most people are really just thinking

693
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: about whether or not they need to get their nails

694
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,439
Speaker 2: done or right.

695
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 1: That's the most freeing thing I think as we age,

696
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,240
Speaker 1: you realize nobody's talking about you, nobody's even really looking

697
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: at you. Yeah, it's allid stories we're making up in

698
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: our heads.

699
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: And the unintended side effect of being able to have

700
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 2: a conversation like this is I always discovered that it

701
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 2: takes I'm very self effacing and I don't like compliments

702
00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: and everything, and but when you're honest about sort of

703
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: anxiety or fear, WHATEVERLSE is going on, you become more

704
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 2: human and less of And this was never intended. I

705
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: never intended this, but I always feared like being somebody

706
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: on a pedestal that other people wanted to shoot down.

707
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: M h. And I think that being open and human

708
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 2: makes you less of a target, and that was never

709
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 2: my intention, but it's a very welcome side effect. M hm.

710
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. You mentioned We've all talked about and

711
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: we talk about it a lot on this podcast, anxiety

712
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 1: and stress and like different ways to do it. So

713
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 1: I'm hearing from you that you you run, you play,

714
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 1: pick a ball, do you meditate, do you do what

715
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: are the things do you do to handle your stress

716
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 1: and anxiety?

717
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: I do meditate, and I'm not as religious about it

718
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 2: as I used to be when I was going through

719
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: divorce and my very very close friend and cousin was

720
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 2: dying of cancer, and I just felt like it was

721
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 2: just a cycle of like I could pick anything and

722
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: it was a problem that you know, it was like,

723
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 2: oh my god, oh my god. I felt like I

724
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 2: was constantly walking around the top of a turret just

725
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: looking down at like incoming bad things. And I always

726
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 2: thought sleep is for the week, lunch is for losers,

727
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 2: and meditation is for like people that don't want to

728
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 2: deal with life. I've since completely chansen all of those Thingskay, good, good,

729
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 2: all of them. Lunch is not for losers.

730
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 1: Lunch is for champions.

731
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 2: Lunch is for champions. Really helps to have like great

732
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 2: friends around to have your lunch with. Sleep is not

733
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: for the week. It is. I had to say that

734
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 2: for years, and you know what I mean, because when

735
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: you have kids and you're working, you can't indulge in

736
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 2: reading the New York Times. That's telling you that if

737
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 2: you don't sleep, your brain is turning to rot. You

738
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 2: have to survive.

739
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: You're just surviving. Yeah.

740
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 2: And then meditation during that time when I was just thinking,

741
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 2: oh no, it's all going wrong, and I didn't want

742
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 2: to suddenly start doing a bad job at the thing.

743
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: I loved my work and I could feel like the

744
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 2: anxiety coming back. And I just started meditating and I

745
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 2: just started by simply counting my breaths. That's it. And

746
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: I was like, something crazy happened, you know, it just

747
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: something switched, and I was like, oh, that's crazy. That

748
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 2: just worked. Now I'm into breath work.

749
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: Oh oh, bim Hoff.

750
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 2: And like crazy breath work.

751
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: That can really change your chemical your brain, how you.

752
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 2: Feel, it's it can be really psychedelic because if you

753
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 2: do it, yes, what do you do? I listened to

754
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: this God, I listened to some dude that I found

755
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: on YouTube. There's two people and they both have once

756
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 2: forty minutes and one's like a half an hour, and

757
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 2: sometimes you I'm back to back. It's it's almost like

758
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 2: you're hyperventilating in a way. It feels very weird, and

759
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 2: you do all this deep controlled breathing and then faster

760
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 2: and then you're holding your breath and then at the

761
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: end you meditate, and it is I've never done acid,

762
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: but I imagine that. It's I mean, it is like

763
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 2: I feel like doors of consciousness are opening.

764
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: Oh, I need to know who these people are on YouTube.

765
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: You have just sent this to me.

766
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 2: I will send them to you. It's you know, it's

767
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: not for everyone is going this like that is No,

768
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: I don't because my nose is inside is like sideways,

769
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 2: so I can't. That's such a deviated septim it's crazy.

770
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 2: So one not. It's like I don't breathe through it anyhow,

771
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 2: but I do the like you do belly chest, belly chest,

772
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: belly chest. It's like two kinds of breathing and then

773
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 2: holding it, holding it, holding it, and then reading all

774
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,760
Speaker 2: the way out. And I don't know why it works.

775
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 2: I read a book that my cousin gave me called

776
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 2: Breath That is great. I highly recommend it. It is

777
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 2: it will by the end of that if you're not.

778
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I have to I

779
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 2: have to breathe. I have to start freaking about breathing.

780
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 2: I know. And so yeah, I'm very that. And also

781
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: it is like such a great enhancement to meditation because

782
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 2: it is like very psychedelic and great.

783
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm inspired by that. I definitely want to try it.

784
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about you are single.

785
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: You have been single since your divorce. I think that

786
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: was around the time of my divorce, maybe a little

787
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: bit later. But you've said that you love being single,

788
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: and I love hearing that so much, Like what do

789
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 1: you love about it? I'm a lot of jealous, Like

790
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 1: I'm a little jealous because I really love being single too.

791
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: For a minute, I.

792
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 2: Love I am by nature an introvert, not meaning that

793
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: I'm introverted all the time, but that's where I recharge

794
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 2: by being alone. Some people recharge by Yes, well it

795
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 2: could be and I could be hiking. I could be,

796
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: but I need a certain amount of alone time every day.

797
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,799
Speaker 2: And I've struggled with whether or not this is just

798
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: inherently selfish because I'm not sure I'm as open to

799
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:45,880
Speaker 2: sharing my life because I guard my that alone time

800
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: and I work a lot. I work from home. You know,

801
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 2: I'm doing a development. I've got to deal with Universal

802
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: for comedy that where I'm developing stuff. I've had a

803
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 2: skinned care line. So there's all these women come to

804
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,959
Speaker 2: my house every day. There's usually be four or five

805
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 2: of us, the four of us, and I'm constantly surrounded

806
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 2: by people, constantly on zooms and digging meetings, and I

807
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 2: need no one around for a while. And between kids

808
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 2: and work and you know, friends, I don't know where

809
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:28,359
Speaker 2: I would put a relationship. And I really am not

810
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 2: willing to give up any of those things just yet.

811
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 2: I'm not willing to give up that alone time. I

812
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: feel really stressed if I don't get it.

813
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,359
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're just in this major like

814
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: discovery of doing all these different projects and doing what

815
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 1: you want to do now like you're not, I won't

816
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 1: say stuck, but you're not committed to a show that though, isn't.

817
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: It the scariest thing though? When come on, when we

818
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 2: started out, you took any job because you needed a job.

819
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 2: You need to do the work. Yeah, right, and so

820
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 2: you took any job. It didn't have to be good,

821
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 2: it didn't have to be the perfect job. You just

822
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 2: took jobs. And it's much more challenging. And of course

823
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the ability to have choice, but it's

824
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:22,479
Speaker 2: much harder when they're like, well, you have to pick

825
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 2: now and you have to create, and I'm like, oh,

826
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 2: it was easier when I could just say yes to

827
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: everything and just go do it and then let the

828
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 2: chips fall where they may. It's much more challenging to

829
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 2: say I'm not going to put my time and energy

830
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 2: into that, or or put yourself out there like develop

831
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 2: a project from the ground up with may never see

832
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: the light of day. All of that, it's much more difficult.

833
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 2: I miss the days of being able to just be like,

834
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 2: it's a job. I'm going like my tendency is to

835
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 2: say yes to everything, because I'm like, well, you say

836
00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 2: yes to jobs. But what makes it's easy to say?

837
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 2: I know, because everything's out of town now, So I

838
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: do say no to a lot of stuff because I

839
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 2: don't want to leave.

840
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: No, you don't want to leave your boys.

841
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 2: No, And they're like right at the you know, fifteen, fifteen,

842
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 2: and seventeen. One's going to be gone next.

843
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: Year, and I need you so much right now, and

844
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: I need them.

845
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 2: And the idea of like this is they're such fascinating people.

846
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,840
Speaker 2: I loved having babies, I loved having toddlers and little kids,

847
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 2: and this is so interesting who they are now, and

848
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't want to.

849
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: Miss it, you know, oh yeah, Like I just want

850
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: to hang out with my kids all the time, and.

851
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 2: They don't want to hang out with me at all.

852
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 2: Let me make it clear, it's not like we like

853
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,400
Speaker 2: I always hear people talk about how great religios they

854
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: have with their kids, and they're all like doing things together.

855
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: My kids have no interest in me. But what I've

856
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 2: discovered is being around is like ninety percent of the work.

857
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 2: Just if I'm not around, I'm not going to get

858
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 2: that conversation that just suddenly happens where I'm not going

859
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:04,879
Speaker 2: to meet their friends who are over. If I am

860
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: super busy all the time and out of the house,

861
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 2: I just won't have access to that just don't know

862
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 2: when that weird conversation is going to come when one

863
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 2: of your kids sits down is like, Mom, I like

864
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 2: this girl. You're like right, look ahead, don't make eye contact,

865
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 2: and you know, I don't want to miss that.

866
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were really close with your You mentioned this

867
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 1: before your co stars that you shared the screen with

868
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: for eleven years. I can relate very close to my

869
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 1: co stars that we were on for ten years together.

870
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 1: And I know it sounds to me like you kind

871
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: of were a little bit of a motherly figure off

872
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: screen as well as on screen, and I think that

873
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 1: that is such. You're a nurturing person, so it's probably

874
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 1: natural for you to want to help people, and you know,

875
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 1: just those relationships that I know you form with your

876
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 1: kids on screen, yes, it feels like they're really your

877
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: kids kind of.

878
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, especially Nolan, who I'm so grateful for

879
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 2: because he was eleven when we started and twenty two

880
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: when we finished, and so I got to see a

881
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:18,280
Speaker 2: boy older than my boys who were babies at the time,

882
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: and I got to see a boy go through all

883
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 2: these changes and he'd be really into something for a

884
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 2: while and super into something or annoying about something, and

885
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 2: I could say, oh, these are all phases, like you

886
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 2: don't have to go in there and micromanage because I'm

887
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 2: not his actual mom, so it wasn't my job. But

888
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 2: I'd be like I could just watch him grow and

889
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 2: develop and make mistakes and come back from them and

890
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 2: try new things. And it was like parenting light because ultimately,

891
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,399
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I wasn't responsible for him,

892
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 2: but he allowed me, and I love him so much

893
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 2: and I'm so grateful to him for allowing me into

894
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 2: that process. Like he would talk to me and we

895
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: would talk about girls or school or you know, family stuff,

896
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 2: and I realized, Okay, boys are real people, which I

897
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 2: really didn't know because I only knew dudes who were

898
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 2: like you know, I was dating or adults like I

899
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 2: did know boys. And he was my first boy that

900
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 2: I got to know, and he really helped me be,

901
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 2: I hope, a better boy.

902
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 1: Mom. That's so interesting that you said that, because I

903
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 1: had a very similar experience on what I like about

904
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: you with Amanda. I had three at the time. I

905
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: had two young girls. Yeah, and I had two young girls,

906
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: and I had no experience around teenage girls other than

907
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: my own experiences and those weren't great. So I was

908
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 1: really nervous about having a teenage girl. And then I

909
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 1: got to work with Amanda so closely, and we became

910
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: very very close, like sisters, and I got to see

911
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 1: what I was in.

912
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,439
Speaker 2: What what you're in for?

913
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 3: Right?

914
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 1: What was I in for? But not necessarily in a

915
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 1: bad way, but just like this is normal teenage behavior, right,

916
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: and I should be scared of it, I should love it.

917
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, getting to have relationships with teenagers is like one

918
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 2: of the perks of our job, you know, like how

919
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 2: many because my kids they let me in and then

920
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 2: they don't. And I got to have full, realized relationships

921
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 2: with teenagers and that allowed me to allows me to

922
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 2: accept my own teenagers better as exactly as they are

923
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: right now, because I also know it's everything is, everything

924
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 2: is changing, everything's a moment, and you can't get to

925
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I would love to tell them to cut

926
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 2: their stupid hair and wear different clothes, and it's like

927
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 2: not just you know what, it's this is all a

928
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 2: work in progress. And the more I can step back

929
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: and let them kind of live, the closer I get

930
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 2: to them m.

931
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,879
Speaker 1: Hm, because they have to figure it out on their own.

932
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they do, They really do, and they have

933
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 2: to learn to fail and pick themselves up, and it's

934
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 2: really hard not to want to go in there and

935
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 2: just fix everything. But I'm so proud of the people

936
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 2: that they're becoming, and it's so exciting to see them

937
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 2: becoming adults. And it's exciting when my sister, the doctor's

938
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 2: kids a little older than me, and she said about

939
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: this age when I was because I was like, they

940
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 2: don't want me around, and she's like, teenagers do not

941
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 2: need you ninety five percent of the time, but the

942
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 2: five percent they need you, they need you, and the

943
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: only way you'll find out when that is is by

944
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 2: being around.

945
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: And very true. Yeah, we had also similar experiences. I

946
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 1: think it just growing up in the business and being

947
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,879
Speaker 1: in the press and you know, having people talk about

948
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: our bodies and our faces and our aging and our

949
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: weight and all the things that they feel that it's

950
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 1: their right to talk about, but also sort of pitting

951
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: women against one another. Did you ever have that experience

952
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: with your castmates?

953
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? I felt it. On Modern Family, the press kept

954
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 2: trying to make me and Sophia sort of Betty and Veronica,

955
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 2: and I know they did that with you and Shannon.

956
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 2: I mean, I remember it. I remember it so clearly,

957
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 2: and then I remember seeing you guys. It is just

958
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 2: so stupid, but I remember seeing you guys on like

959
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 2: a Today Show segment where you took or some morning

960
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 2: show and you guys were taking some correspondent like thrift

961
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 2: shopping or something. You probably don't even remember it, and

962
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, they're friends. This real. That's we're

963
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 2: not getting real life in the press. I am granted

964
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:57,720
Speaker 2: that you know it. It was a morning show segment,

965
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 2: but when Sophia, they were just like determined to pit

966
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 2: us against each other. I'm like, we hated each other

967
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 2: or there was only like it's this scarcity mindset that

968
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 2: there's only only one woman can be happy at a time.

969
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh no, I love Sophia and

970
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 2: I love how different we are, and I love what

971
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 2: she is funny and self effacing and body and she

972
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 2: loves life and she loves dancing and eating cake and

973
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 2: all these things. And I'm like what. And I learned

974
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 2: so much from being around her about what it is

975
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:39,320
Speaker 2: to be a really powerful, completely in herself like woman.

976
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 2: No one would mistake her for like a fourteen year

977
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 2: old boy from behind like they do me all the time,

978
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 2: and yeah, I found that to be really disappointing on

979
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,839
Speaker 2: the part of the press. But I just never fed

980
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:59,319
Speaker 2: into that. You know, it was it is, that's a

981
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 2: scarcity mindset, and there's no such thing as like, oh,

982
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 2: if one woman's doing well, that means others have to

983
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 2: step back. It's I can't support.

984
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 1: That, right.

985
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 2: No.

986
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: It was definitely tricky to navigate through those young adult

987
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 1: years of being like, wait, what are we Yeah.

988
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 2: We are we enemies and they yeah people. You know,

989
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 2: I would see things because I never have never banned tabloids,

990
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 2: and my mom would always send me pictures out of

991
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: a tablished like, look, but it's a good picture. I go, please, Mom,

992
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 2: I love you, But no, don't. I don't want to

993
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 2: see it, right, I don't want to know because also

994
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 2: they like, you get a picture that you I don't

995
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:47,280
Speaker 2: where was that camera? I was having lunch with my kids,

996
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 2: and then you start to get the neurosis about where.

997
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm like, I can't live like that. But

998
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 2: I would see sometimes, you know, you're just at the

999
00:54:56,239 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 2: grocery store and you see like your face and see

1000
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 2: my face and Sophia like in how we hated each other.

1001
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: So I was like, that's so crazy, that is just ridiculous.

1002
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 2: I don't understand why society doesn't have room again like

1003
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 2: goes back to the witches, like we're too scary if

1004
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 2: we're all together. I don't know there's.

1005
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: Something there for sure.

1006
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 2: M hm.

1007
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 1: I would be remiss not to ask you this because

1008
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 1: I am a big fan of your early work. Maybe

1009
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety six Pavy Gilmore. Oh, yeah, they're bringing it back.

1010
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 1: They're they're doing a sequel right now. Tex is doing something.

1011
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,439
Speaker 1: Are you going to be on it?

1012
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 2: I'm going, Uh, we shoot in September. I just got

1013
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 2: my dates yesterday, which panics me because it's in It's

1014
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,960
Speaker 2: on the East Coast, so I'm like, oh no, I

1015
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 2: did so much back and forth and I'm going to

1016
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: miss my kids. I will say I'm not in it

1017
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 2: a ton and I'm okay with that. Adam was so

1018
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 2: sweet and like called me multiple times to make sure,

1019
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 2: like before I got the scriptisay, Adam, I love you.

1020
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,279
Speaker 2: You're like one of the kindest people I've ever met you.

1021
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 2: I don't care if I'm not in this movie. I'll

1022
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,840
Speaker 2: show up and support it. And but in order for

1023
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 2: it to be, you know, a story about Happy's journey.

1024
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 2: We need to he can't be happy. He can't be

1025
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,799
Speaker 2: happily with a girl. So that's all I'll say about that.

1026
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,799
Speaker 2: But yes, I'm going to do it and I can't

1027
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 2: and I'm very excited.

1028
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,879
Speaker 1: People are going to freak out. Also about your new

1029
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:37,840
Speaker 1: show that's.

1030
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 2: On Peacock Hysteria.

1031
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: I saw Hysteria. I watched the trailer for it this morning.

1032
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: First of all, I love your whole eighties look, and

1033
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 1: your face looks incredible, like they did like a close

1034
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 1: up on you. I was like, hello, that was good.

1035
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 2: That's either good lighting or someone did some digital retouching,

1036
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,399
Speaker 2: which takes the bananas, because you know.

1037
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: When you so touch it. I'm looking at you right now,

1038
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 1: you are beautiful.

1039
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 2: Oh that is You're so kind. I mean, we all

1040
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 2: feel like, you know, we came of age right alongside

1041
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 2: of digital and and high death and you go do.

1042
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 1: It must we it's a little too intimate.

1043
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 2: I'm really I'm excited about it. It was it's like

1044
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 2: hoary and which is a genre that I can't watch

1045
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 2: because I get so scared. But it was the people

1046
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: that were doing it were so fun. And exciting, and

1047
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I'm gonna try this. I'm just

1048
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 2: gonna do something different, just radically different. And I had

1049
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 2: so much fun.

1050
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: You're just you're taking so many great chances right now.

1051
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: I love this about this chapter for you.

1052
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, the backup plan is living in a

1053
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 2: cabin far far away and like some state where you

1054
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 2: don't have to pay high taxes.

1055
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: So I'm into that. Take me away if it all.

1056
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 2: Goes wrong, if these chances are are don't pay off,

1057
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 2: that's where I'll be. You can come and visit.

1058
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 1: Well. I want everyone to make sure that they do

1059
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 1: check out Hysteria because it looks really good. It's on

1060
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: Peacock and I think it debut is on October eighteenth.

1061
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken.

1062
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 2: You have so much more information than I do. I

1063
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 2: just got the trailer yesterday and they Peacock said would

1064
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 2: you post, and I was like, have you watched it? Wait,

1065
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 2: I'll watch. It was like the microwave one, the microwave

1066
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 2: yes with the baby you know, yes, good. Yeah. I

1067
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is fun. And the eighties you know,

1068
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 2: the eighties look is not my favorite, but I got

1069
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 2: so into it. While we were there and just I.

1070
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: Just loved it, and you're like, great, you look great.

1071
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do a ton of stunts. You did, yes,

1072
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 2: flying to the air and but being bad things happened

1073
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 2: to me. I'm not sure what I wanted to say yet,

1074
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 2: so bad things.

1075
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: How did your own stunts you have?

1076
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 2: I mean I had to like, yeah, there's a lot

1077
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 2: of stunts in it. I did a movie for Netflix

1078
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 2: like a couple of years ago, and I wasn't Netflix, sorry,

1079
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 2: it was Amazon. That's why I'm taking miss That's okay,

1080
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 2: and I get killed. I get killed in like the

1081
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 2: first ten pages. But I get to have this really

1082
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 2: massive brutal fight scene with the with the killer in

1083
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 2: the movie, and it was so fun and I had

1084
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 2: to like do so many stunts and learn to shoot

1085
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 2: guns and do all this stuff that I was like, Okay,

1086
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 2: I want more of that. That's really fun. I'd like

1087
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 2: to lean into it because for years and years, I mean,

1088
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: Modern Family, the comedy was sometimes physical and I liked

1089
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 2: that totally killer. I don't know why, I'm being just

1090
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: a daft idiot, and it was that was really fun,

1091
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 2: and that kind of got me like, yeah, I want

1092
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 2: to do more of that I love.

1093
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 1: You are unstoppable. Come on, look at You're very inspiring. Okay,

1094
00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: before I let you go, I need to ask you,

1095
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: Julie Bowen, what was your last I Choose me moment?

1096
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 3: That's such a big one. I'm looking outside, I'm looking outside.

1097
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 3: This is a dumb one. It's dumb, but it was big.

1098
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 3: I never ever spend money on myself.

1099
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:17,080
Speaker 1: Ever.

1100
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 2: I will spend money on education or travel, but like,

1101
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 2: I never buy myself. I'm a huge Poshmark fan. If

1102
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 2: it's over one hundred dollars, I got it on Poshmark,

1103
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 2: I guarantee you.

1104
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 1: I love Poshmark.

1105
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 2: I love it. I live for Poshmark. And I was

1106
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 2: just away with my sister and she went to this

1107
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 2: boutique and everything there was gorgeous, but it was all

1108
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 2: very pricey and I couldn't justify it. But there was

1109
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 2: this one necklace that had made with a stone from

1110
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 2: I was on Martha's vineyard and the woman who were

1111
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: in the boutique made the necklace. It's like a stone

1112
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 2: that's been like like it's held in gold. And it

1113
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 2: was expensive and it was beautiful and meaningful, and I

1114
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 2: bought it for no reason other than I wanted to,

1115
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like, still feel like vaguely guilty even saying it,

1116
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 2: but I was like, yeah, it's a really pretty thing,

1117
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 2: it's from a specific place. I get to do this

1118
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:24,400
Speaker 2: for me. It was it's hard to even admit that, Jenny,

1119
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 2: I can't believe, Like, I didn't know how heavy this

1120
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 2: was going to be.

1121
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 1: No, but it's so important to give yourself things like

1122
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: that because you deserve it, and if nobody else is

1123
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 1: buying you gifts at the moment, like buy yourself something,

1124
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 1: make yourself feel good.

1125
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 2: Well that was. That is the first thing that I

1126
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 2: did not posh in I can't even remember how long.

1127
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 2: And yeah, I really and I did. I do feel

1128
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 2: good about it, but I also feel vaguely selfish. So

1129
01:01:56,920 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 2: that was. I wish that I could choose me without

1130
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 2: it being having an undertone of selfishness. But maybe that's

1131
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 2: exactly why you're doing this podcast, is to make people

1132
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 2: have these deeper thoughts about it.

1133
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that it's okay to choose yourself.

1134
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 2: Is it?

1135
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 1: It is? I promise you, I promise you, okay, But

1136
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 1: I'm right there with you. I struggle with it too.

1137
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 1: I think we all struggle with feeling of the feeling

1138
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 1: of guilt or that you know, it's it's really hard

1139
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 1: to be kind to ourselves or do things for ourselves

1140
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: when we're so used to doing things for everybody else.

1141
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really really hard. And when your kids get

1142
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 2: older and they my kids need that less of that

1143
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 2: one on one, you know, like constant attention. You realize

1144
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 2: I realized I didn't have anybody to be nice to,

1145
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 2: you know, like my friends. But then you go, oh,

1146
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 2: I guess it could be nice to me as long

1147
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 2: as as long as nobody makes me say it out loud.

1148
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 2: And then Jenny Garth is going to make me say

1149
01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 2: it out loud.

1150
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 1: You're going to make you look in the mirror and

1151
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: say it. Oh, Julie, I could talk to you forever.

1152
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 1: I love you. Thank you so much for coming on.

1153
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 2: Thank you. You're such a delight. I've always enjoyed running

1154
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 2: into you. I can't wait to see more of you.

1155
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 2: I hope this leads to us getting to see each

1156
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 2: other more. Me too, Thank you.

1157
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 1: Thank you. Okay, Wow, that conversation with Julie was just

1158
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 1: so good. I want to thank her for being so

1159
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: incredibly open and fun to hang out with. I can

1160
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 1: really relate so much to her journey from the impostor

1161
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 1: syndrome feelings that we talked about, to the struggles with

1162
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:44,680
Speaker 1: body image and how hard it is to believe that

1163
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 1: you are enough. I know a lot of us have

1164
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: had these same feelings, but I think this conversation is

1165
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 1: an important reminder to all of us that we're all

1166
01:03:56,560 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: works in progress. It's never too late to start improving

1167
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 1: ourselves and changing those negative thoughts that try to keep

1168
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: creeping back in. All they want to do is derail

1169
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 1: us as we continue to choose ourselves week after week.

1170
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 1: This week, let's try to do some breathing, like some

1171
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 1: real breathing. We talked about it with Julie and how

1172
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: it has helped her with her anxiety. So this week

1173
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 1: I challenge you to find a guided breathwork video online,

1174
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 1: something that looks good to you, and follow that in

1175
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:36,400
Speaker 1: the morning one day when you wake up or when

1176
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:40,160
Speaker 1: you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and if you're into it,

1177
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 1: keep it up. Maybe it will become your new me

1178
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:48,919
Speaker 1: time ritual. Remember it's never too late to start something new.

1179
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 1: You can check out all our social links in our

1180
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,600
Speaker 1: show notes. Are you following us on social media, because

1181
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 1: you should be. Rate and review the podcast, and use

1182
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:01,160
Speaker 1: the hashtag I Choose Me whenever you feel like it.

1183
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 1: I love you, I'll be right here next week, and

1184
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,440
Speaker 1: I hope you choose to be here too,