00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. 00:00:13 Speaker 2: Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 1: So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts? I of course am bridge or Wineger. And I'm so happy you're here. It's a very special, very special episode today. One year. One year, we've been doing this podcast one full year. Here we all are. You know, we've been through a lot. It's been a very interesting time and we're so thrilled to you know that we're able to do this. And I'm thrilled that you've been here. And maybe this is your first episode, and that case you, God help you, because there's a lot of backstory and you're you might as well be learning Mandarin. I don't know what to tell you. You're going to want to go back and listen to the other episodes in order to contextualize what's happening here. This is not a beginner's podcast. This is the sort of podcast that you need the lore. I've been building a world here, and so go back and listen to those episodes. If you've been here since the beginning, God bless here we are. Let's get into it. I can't tell you how excited I am happy birthday to the podcast because we're here with my dear friend, none other than Jen Spira. Jen, Welcome to I said, no gifts, Bridger. 00:02:06 Speaker 4: I am so honored to be here. I can't I can't even. I can't even. Jen. 00:02:18 Speaker 3: You know, when we booked you on the show, we you know, we I put very little thought into anything I do, so you know, I of course was thrilled to have you, but I didn't realize it was going to line up with the one year anniversary of the podcast. I mean, let's be honest, who who whatever, I guess the podcast would make it to a year. So that alone, that alone is really a But now it's lined up with you here. 00:02:44 Speaker 4: I love that it's lining up. I almost wish you and told me that because I almost thought for a second that maybe you chose me for the special occasion. I realized it was just the winds of chaos and not your love for me. But that's okay, that's fine, Jim. I'm going to counter maybe it was the winds of fate. Yes, I've been looking at this in very different ways exactly. And Richard, I'm going to have to remind myself that we're not just talking on the phone as we do, and I'm going to have to remind myself not to complain and mention all the names and things and numbers that I normally would bring up with you. 00:03:28 Speaker 3: Right by now, we would have we would have just destroyed four different people. We would have. 00:03:33 Speaker 4: Buried four of our closest those closest. No, we would have destroyed various luminaries and none of that, none of that. 00:03:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to really there's a different set of rules to a podcast, and it our relationship is so deeply intimate that now we're now on this podcast and we're there's going to be a distance that the listener is going to feel, We're going to feel a coldness. They're going to halfway through they're going to say, I can't take it. It was too frigid. I had to turn off the podcast. And I understand that. Yeah, sounds like a divorced couple, you know, meeting for the first time in years. Jen that said, how have you. 00:04:16 Speaker 4: Been pretty sure? Well, I've been I've been good. I mean I'm freshly back and squeaky clean from my tennis lesson. 00:04:23 Speaker 3: Oh that's that's where I've literally just been tennis lesson. 00:04:28 Speaker 4: Yes, I have taken up tennis, and I get lessons from a my my husband and I. Perhaps you've heard of them, Tommy. 00:04:41 Speaker 1: Thomas. 00:04:42 Speaker 4: Yes, Thomas and I Judy's lessons once a week on Friday afternoons with this guy who looks like he's one of those Civil War guys where they look straight out like their face. You know, it's like, well, I guess there's something almost you're right. I I mean it in the way where there's a timeless it's actually not even timeless. It's a specific time. He looks like someone you'd see. He looks like a racist war documentary. I mean, listen, Bridge or he might listen to this, because everyone does. I know, I'm not gonna, I'm not eve gonna say his first name, but it rhymes with rash, but I won't say it. 00:05:21 Speaker 3: You're getting lessons from Tosh point zero. What's his name, Daniel Tosh? 00:05:27 Speaker 4: Oh my god, how. 00:05:29 Speaker 3: Long have you been taking tennis lessons? 00:05:31 Speaker 4: This is my second lesson? 00:05:32 Speaker 3: You're sorry? 00:05:34 Speaker 4: Well, no, this is my second with Rush and then and then two years ago maybe we got a lesson on vacation, so this is really technically my third. 00:05:42 Speaker 3: Okay, And are you now is it's going to be a weekly lesson or is this just. 00:05:46 Speaker 4: That's the hope that I'm in. I'm currently in a tropical climate. Well, I'd actually don't know what you'd call Savannah, Georgia, where I'm weirdly living just as I hide up from New York City right now. But there's a lot of rain and it's it's like it's so there have been rain cancelations. 00:06:03 Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, Now prior to these lessons, did you play tennis at all? 00:06:08 Speaker 4: I only breathed. I did have lessons when I was like in sixth grade, but they were indoors and so there was none of the glamour that you find on the outdoor court. And I also had none of the glamorous associations that I now have with tennis when I was learning as a child. So I just my heart wasn't in it. But because of my growing interest in a few luminaries like Federer, like Serena, I now and and visits to England randomly during Wimbledon. I never went, but it's like a party. When when Wimbledon's happening in London, it's like it's like a party, and I just it feels very It feels really rich and fancy, and I like that. 00:06:57 Speaker 3: It feels like the tennis walls are closing in on you. I mean, do you do strike me as a tennis player? You look like someone who plays tennis. I feel like I've seen you an advisor at some point. 00:07:07 Speaker 4: Oh that's so sweet. 00:07:09 Speaker 3: You know, you've just got it. You have a tennis aura around you. 00:07:12 Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I want to cultivate that. I mean, and that's why I just want. I just want to be able to serve and have it look good. But there's no power in my serve right now. 00:07:22 Speaker 3: So we're gonna have to now back to this tennis coach. Yeah, between you and Thomas, which one of you is more likely to have an affair with the coach? 00:07:30 Speaker 4: We were discussing this today. We were discussing this because I was like, we paid him more this time because we think he's under charging and we were and I was like, you know what, let's just pay him more because he's so good. And then I was like, oh, no, he's definitely going to think we're trying to have sex with him, and that we're trying to like, you know, who is more likely. Well, we have discussed. Now it's out in the open. It wasn't really out in the open box us, and now after this lesson, we did talk about it because this guy, you know, I mean, when he a few times I look, look, might moderate a couple of times, he like does the serve and it's like there's so much power and he's so agile, and he's so seemingly effortlessly athletic, and he's also pretty like built in stuff. So look, hey, all right with the third degree bridge. Tommy and I did talk about it, but I mean, you know, he gets it, so I'm not even gonna say me. I mean me, but probably three would come before even just one of us. 00:08:36 Speaker 3: I do feel like, you know, you get into the tennis lessons, that's just a given someone will be having an affair with the tennis coach. You just do that before even sign the sign up for you just say, you know, this is going to ruin our marriage, but we will be better tennis players at the end of it. 00:08:52 Speaker 4: I know, From the first five minutes of working with this person, I did understand the cliche. I was like, oh this, I get that. 00:09:01 Speaker 3: Now you're out in the sun, you're swinging your bodies around, you're all wearing mini skirts. 00:09:08 Speaker 4: I don't know exactly exactly, but yeah, there's only maybe a forty nine percent chance that it ruins my marriage in my life. 00:09:19 Speaker 3: Those odds are fine, exactly. You've we bridge a hold on, hold on. 00:09:29 Speaker 4: Who in your engine's life is most likely to crash your home and lure one of you into an affair. 00:09:37 Speaker 3: Like what sort of person? 00:09:39 Speaker 4: No, I mean a person in your life currently like you've encountered together. I mean, or I guess you could go with a what sort of a person? But I was thinking, is there's I guess the way I phrased it is actually a little bit harder for you to just. 00:09:53 Speaker 3: Like, who is our current who is our let's just say it, I mean, who's our Daniel Tosh? Who's going to swing? Who who currently is floating around ready to destroy our relationship? You know, that's that's a hard one because we are in the middle of a pandemic and we haven't introduced a lot of new people to our lives recently, but I do feel like, who am I seeing who? Who occasionally is around that could even possibly like a rail carrier, I mean, the male. We do have the male carrier coming by. You can't see his face, so that's a hard one. I mean, but you know, maybe he takes that off and suddenly he's just the hottest person on the planet and he's irresistible. We did move into this house a little while ago, and we've had like a handyman come by that feels like an odd race. Carlos comes by, seduces one of us. He's, you know, a sweet guy. But other than that, we truly see no one. There's a guy across the street who washes his car every single day. Oh my god, that could be he's, you know, in his late sixties, early seventies. I don't know that he's really in this seduction game anymore, but he is out there washing his car constantly. Maybe he's trying to catch our eye. There's another guy up the street, an angry man who's constantly working on his like muscle cars. Maybe he bullies one of us into having an affair with him. Although I'm almost feeling a homophobic air from him, which I don't think he wants anything to do with us. 00:11:30 Speaker 4: Oh Jesus, I'm in your own backyard, in. 00:11:33 Speaker 3: Our own backyard, homophobes in your own in my own yard, the homophobe next door roaring around in his Mustang. But you know those I mean, those are options. I'm not ruling any of those people out. And it is the person you least expect, although in your situation, it's this person you most expect. So it's it's essentially the person who will ruin your relationship is anyone. It really could be anyone, And you have to keep your eyes open. You've got especially if you're looking to cheat, You've got to keep your eyes open. You've got to be looking for those new candidates that you might be. You know, I'm out having I'm out on a walk for an hour a day. There are people all over I could be cheating non. 00:12:21 Speaker 4: Stop, Jesus Bridge. 00:12:23 Speaker 3: So you know, suddenly, if somebody. 00:12:26 Speaker 4: Is going to beat you, he's going to be standing outside with his belt when you walk out of the room, He's going to beat the shit out of you. 00:12:37 Speaker 3: It could happen, but you know this is the rules are have been thrown out we have been living in very close quarters for a full year. I mean that this podcast coincidentally is also kind of the year anniversary of Lockdown, which was a whole other situation. 00:12:58 Speaker 4: You know. 00:12:58 Speaker 3: I do feel I'm a conduit for evil forces, or for the some, or for bad things to enter the planet. Last year, last February, I posted the first thing advertising this podcast, and it said, get ready for this podcast March twelfth, when all hell breaks loose. That was I said, get ready for when all hell breaks loose. Right March twelfth comes, the podcast is released literally the first day of the massive lockdowns. 00:13:27 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 00:13:29 Speaker 3: I've predicted all sorts of things in the year the past year, you know. Most recently we talked about daft Punk. Four days later, daft Punk breaks up. 00:13:38 Speaker 4: Bridger. You you're a Mormon witch. Okay, you we know that you're a Mormon witch. Joseph Smith was reborn. You are the second coming of Joseph Smith, and you're a witch. 00:13:55 Speaker 3: Wait, okay, so we need to get back to I also love what You're just rank out of a giant Seinfeld mug. 00:14:04 Speaker 4: It's a kooky no soup for you, mug. Yep, that's right. 00:14:09 Speaker 3: Did that come with the place you're renting. 00:14:12 Speaker 4: You know what it does seem it's that's that's really does seem like a rental munk. But no, Thomas bought this for his dad, and the idea was that we were going to give it to his dad as a president because his dad loves you know, the no soup for you sure souper Nazi. But that never panned out. I don't know why we didn't give it to his dad, but I mean, I don't think that's going to happen anymore. 00:14:35 Speaker 3: No, I mean, how long have you had it? I mean you're drinking out of it. 00:14:38 Speaker 4: I know, I know. Yeah, Thomas was excited. I think, oh, I think you definitely go. Oh he got it at TJ's or Marshalls one time recently when we've gone for one of our very sad errands. 00:14:53 Speaker 3: Are the tjs and Marshall's and Georgia just open for biz? Oh they're wide open, honey, I guess they're open here now, Yeah, they're they're open. 00:15:01 Speaker 4: And we've gone just for like very random things where Tom Thomas is and I'm not interested in finding a deal, and so Thomas will like try to find a deal. Deals me nothing to me. Money means nothing to me. I live as though I have all the money I need. It's not true, but I just I just don't. I don't think well for one second about it. I'm just like and I don't know what things cost, and I just I want to keep living in my way. 00:15:28 Speaker 3: I feel like that that lines up for you. You make choices that are you know, like when we go out to eat, I mean we there was maybe the most memorable time we had brunch. We were in New York and it was probably eleven am. And let me see if I can recall what you ordered. You. I think you started out with fish tacos. You also got a hot chocolate, You had a raspberry lemonade, and then I think, did you order chicken hingers? Breakfast orient Today? 00:16:02 Speaker 4: I asked Jim for one of his chicken fingers, and I ordered something else of my own. What it was the other I had another savory thing and I didn't like any of it, And that's why I asked Jim if I could have some of his. 00:16:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, you order You're you're an interesting person because on a lot of levels you are extremely classy. And then yeah, in like the realm of food you order like it's your eleventh birthday party. 00:16:29 Speaker 4: I one thousand percent, And I think it's like almost reminds me a little bit of this guy Nick Napier, who's so funny that I don't know if you know him, like that Chicago, like legend dude, he started the Annoyance Theater. He's so funny. And he said that like as an adult, he likes to go I don't know if he still does this, but he likes to go to toy stores and he thinks back to being a kid and being a toy store and how he couldn't he couldn't get anything. But now if he is forty dollars, he's like a rich kid in a toy store. And I guess I just I really love the like the extreme sense of bounty that you have when you order everything you want in a restaurant. It's not that much money to pay for a feeling that to me is like a really abundant, amazing feeling. 00:17:13 Speaker 3: I wish I could bring that into my own mind. As you know, I order bare minimum. My life is just constantly scraping by you and I share so many things, but in other ways that is just beyond. That's like another lifetime, Like I would have to be born in a new body in order to to behave that way. 00:17:36 Speaker 4: I know, I know, but I'm so inspired by your clarity of purpose, your abstemiousness, your focus. I like that, the essentialness You're so Yeah, I don't. Sometimes I discuss myself. I do sometimes because yeah, I overdo it left and right. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: Can you think of something recently you've overdone? 00:17:56 Speaker 4: Oh Jesus, I mean sure, I definitely yeah, well, actually overdone because the thing is it normally on the weekends my habit, but this was my this is when I'm normally when I'm in New York. I would most recently, but this is right before the lockdown. I was going to the Plaza cafeteria, which is in the basement of the Plaza, and it's not a cafeteria. It's all these fancy food stalls. It's it's fucking awesome. And I would easily get, you know, seventy dollars worth of like various moose cakes, tarts, and basically throw myself a party like when I went back to the apartment, and then pretty much and then I would try to force Thomas to eat it over the rest of the weekend if I didn't finish it, and then I'd throw it away, like on Monday, I just throw it all away. But a recent overboard is probably a thing that I do a lot now where we go to this one outdoor seafood restaurant that has you it's like you're right by the water and it's really spaced out and it's ideal and order everything. It's so annoying, like I have to almost acknowledge it to the waiter or else. It's like, you know, it's weird because it's like it's it's way more for two than two people. But I like to have bites of like many different things. 00:19:12 Speaker 3: So what are you like at this restaurant? What are you worrying all right here? 00:19:16 Speaker 4: Because when my parents came, who by the way, had COVID, so I had to not see them for I ended up seeing at the tail end of their visit when they when they were COVID free. Yes, but I didn't even order my full order because I was too shamed to do it even in front of my own parents. But my full order would be first of all, the hush puppies flow freely. You don't have to pay for those. They just keep coming. So they give you a huge wooden bowl hush puppies, and we start with them then, and I'll do this quickly. This is I get the coconut shrimp. I get the bling bling shrimp. Okay, the coconut shrimp comes with marmalade. The bling bling is in this sample aoli sauce. It's a spicy man amazing. I get fried green tomatoes. I get a sided cheese grits. I get sweetea, but I pretty much eat it all. And the thing is, Thomas is so large, and he's one of those guys where it's like, you know, he'll make sure it's all gone, so I never feel guilty. 00:20:10 Speaker 3: It's actually wild to me that you and I can be friends because you sitting there telling me about this order. If we were sitting at a table together, I would be sweating. I would be thinking, this is going to be an enormous bill. 00:20:22 Speaker 4: I know, but so it is. It's always an enormous, shockingly large bill. But I don't know that it's not that bad. 00:20:34 Speaker 3: Well, speaking of shameful things, I mean, I don't you know. I don't bring people on this podcast to embarrass them or to to. It's not a gotcha podcast, you know, it's not a oh I tricked you sort of thing. It's you know, it's a respectful venue where two adults come together and respect each other's wishes and just treat each other as equals. It is called I said No Gifts, which you know, you've known that for a long time. The podcast is out there on you know, every service to listen to to kind of familiarize yourself with, and the title. Even if you don't listen to the podcast, it's fairly clear I said no gifts. So, of course we've talked about this. I was excited to have you on the show. We booked you a few weeks ago, and I was so thrilled. You know, Jen's got a new book which we'll talk about, and I was excited to talk about that and just to see your face. And so it was a little I don't even know what the word was. I don't even know how to describe the feeling at this point, but unsettling. When I opened the door recently to find a package which was not something I had ordered, it was not something Jim had ordered. You know, I went through my little black book nobody I knew had sent me a package. I realized, you know, I had Jim open up because you never know when a mysterious package comes, whether it's going to be full of white powder or some other dangerous object. He said, I think it might be a gift from Jen And I, of course, you know, took a few days just to cool down, reset, And I have to ask you, Jenna, is this a gift for me? 00:22:25 Speaker 4: I understand why you're asking, because there was no note, no card, which is slightly unusual in the bestowing of a gift. Yeah, I want to say it is for you, and it's a gift for you, and I gave it with a I gave it to you because I want to teach you a lesson about respect respecting me. 00:22:54 Speaker 3: So I broke you, okay, I mean you did break me. 00:22:58 Speaker 2: You know. 00:22:58 Speaker 3: There was the the sweating, the stress, the you know bursts that over those courts of the course of those few days. 00:23:06 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, this is this is what I wanted to do. And so I did not take you into account. I didn't take you into account. I mean, while we're here, you know, yeah, we're clearing the air here. I just do you want me to open the I do want you to open the gift, and I wonder if I can. I'm bummed because there was a part one and a Part two unrelated gifts I and we only have one gift, and I wonder even if it's worth it to tell you what Part two is. 00:23:34 Speaker 3: You would tell me Part two prior to me opening Part one. 00:23:37 Speaker 4: No, let's open part one, right, they are unrelated. I simply couldn't. I simply had two ideas and I went with two gifts. 00:23:48 Speaker 3: It's the uh, okay, you know, I'm not going to say anymore. I will say it's in this beautiful packaging. It says happy Birthday. There's a big one on it with a tissue paper. It's impossible to say who could have possibly done this at this it's hard to say. What matters is that it's in the packaging and which it needs to be opened. So I'm going to go ahead and dive in. 00:24:23 Speaker 4: Please please diving. 00:24:26 Speaker 3: Oh, get the tissue here, and just you know, this is the one year anniversary. Let's really crinkle it up. It's just okay, we're reaching into the box, into the bag here. Now there's a box. 00:24:42 Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh maybe it is the. 00:24:44 Speaker 3: So I'm going to open this up. We're going to be careful, see what's happening. And I'm going in the line. 00:24:53 Speaker 4: Oh boy, this. 00:25:02 Speaker 3: There's so much to say here. I'm looking at Martha Stewart's Cookie Perfection cookie Book. This is something one hundred plus recipes to take your sweet treats to the next level. This speaks to me in so many ways. I don't even know where to begin. 00:25:23 Speaker 4: Is one of them, because you what are your feelings about Martha. 00:25:28 Speaker 3: Let's just get into Martha Stewart. Thank God, thank God this podcast. You know, we've and we will. We will talk more about cookies in a moment. This podcast. Almost every episode I can avoid talking about cookies. It's one of the subjects that I just lose my mind over. But let's get into Martha Stewart, because that's another subject. Yeah, Martha Stewart, And I don't know, Martha Stewart's been part of my life since probably the early nineties because my mom loved Martha Stewart. Oh god, So I'll just say that I am obsessed with Martha Stewart. I want to but I do want to hear how you feel about Martha Stewart. 00:26:05 Speaker 4: Okay, well, I we've never discussed Martha Stewart. Nevertheless, I associate you with Martha. I assumed you would absolutely love Martha's coiled rage. 00:26:17 Speaker 3: Of course, now. 00:26:18 Speaker 4: That's something I would. So I knew that you'd love that and the strained you know, perfectionism. There's a detail that I'm recalling now that if you love Martha, I think you'll love At a Christmas party at the Late Show where I used to work as a writer, one of the camera guys for one of Martha's TV shows. He was one of the camera guys for the TV show, and he said, somehow he knew this, How did he know this? That in I don't know which her Hampton's house. I think when she would have the driveway powerwashed the flag it was a flagstone driveway where she would have each flagstone removed and washed separately. Yeah, I need you to know that. And then you know, you know the Woo Town thing, the shoe thing with her lubue tak oh, so she you know lubut Town's which are the red soul right heels. She would have an assistant sharpie them in. 00:27:10 Speaker 3: Really she didn't want the red soul. 00:27:13 Speaker 4: Didn't want the red soule, but she just loved the lubouotwn. 00:27:16 Speaker 3: Wow. She loved the shape of the shoes, she loved the feel, but she wanted it to be cheaply covered with marker. 00:27:23 Speaker 4: Well, exactly what's on is there's no way to love the field. It's one of the most most comfortable. Insane But no, the flagstaff thing is much more like something that you could never have you know. That of course fits with Martha, but is insane. 00:27:34 Speaker 3: So she had every stone removed. I'm picturing a giant rock tumblr that she's having them run through or putting each one in the dishwasher. Ow long does that take? And that can't possibly be true? 00:27:49 Speaker 4: You're right, it doesn't. Yeah, because it's like, I know what flagstone looks like, how do you take it out? I don't. I don't know. It was such a weird thing to tell her. 00:27:58 Speaker 3: It's also such a boring thing. Yeah, it's not like the sort of myth that's like, Wow, what an exquisite, larger than life thing. It's like she was cleaning rocks, but just in the most wild way you could possibly think of. Exactly, But that's what we love about Martha Stewart is Martha will not stop. She goes to every extreme to make her life exquisite. 00:28:25 Speaker 4: Did you love her when your mom loved her as a kid. 00:28:28 Speaker 3: When my mom loved her? I think, you know, there was among my siblings and I we all kind of resented Martha Stewart because we had to watch the show. I think it was on every Sunday. But then there was also the element of loving the show. You got to watch this woman make perfect cookies and improve her home, and she's a calumning presence, despite the fact that clearly she's ready to strangle everyone around her at all times. Yes, but there was never a time that I genuinely disliked Martha Stewart. 00:29:01 Speaker 4: Oh no. 00:29:01 Speaker 3: And she was also like providing recipes that you know, our mom would make for dinner and this kind of thing. So and she's always has been kind of inherently ridiculous too, which is just fun to watch. I mean, Martha, I know you're listening, Come on the podcast. You're not ridiculous, You're fantastic. I genuinely love Martha Stewart because she's such a bizarrely layered person. There's that weird sheen the perfection. There's the anger that's constantly simmering and threatening to boil over, and then there's the criminal element. There's also in the last year, she's gone feral. You're not on Instagram, are you? 00:29:44 Speaker 4: I lurk. 00:29:45 Speaker 3: Martha Stewart's Instagram is top five. 00:29:48 Speaker 4: I don't know it. 00:29:48 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 00:29:49 Speaker 4: I can't believe it's not in there for me. Oh my god. 00:29:51 Speaker 3: I mean there's like there's kind of an almost sinister element to it. 00:29:57 Speaker 4: Wow. 00:29:58 Speaker 3: Like I feel like there's occasionally references to things dying or death, and then she'll post photos where it's just like this is a little evil whoa. And then I also feel like she's fun. I feel like she's also just like she enjoys herself on some level. 00:30:16 Speaker 4: Yep, you do feel like she actually has fun and enjoys her thing. 00:30:20 Speaker 3: Right, this is a you know, this is a woman who has been to prison, who has also knows how to perfectly decorate a sugar cookie. I mean, the things that Martha Stewart contains is so beyond. She's friends with Snoop Dogg. It feels like a genuine friendship at this point. Right, did you grow up with Martha Stewart, not. 00:30:41 Speaker 4: Really, because my mom is so much more sort of My mom didn't wasn't interested in any homemaker related kind of like icons, that just isn't her thing. She was much more interested. I mean it was much more like the I mean, like in terms of magazines Veranda, Architectural Digest. She loves interior design, and it's a little bit basically of a more She's just she probably really likes Martha, but my mom is so elitist that Martha's world. I think she likes it, but she isn't gonna She just was never a follower. 00:31:15 Speaker 3: Interesting, So when did Martha really I mean, what's your exposure to Martha? Then? 00:31:21 Speaker 4: Probably an early exposure was simply when I started at college at Barnard, which is a women's college in Manhattan. 00:31:28 Speaker 3: Martha went, oh, I didn't know Martha. 00:31:30 Speaker 4: She's in Alum. She's in Alum. Yeah, So you learn very quickly that Martha's Ornelhurst and Joan Rivers and one of the girls from like there was a reality show what the fuck it was with? It was with Ralph, it was with Tommy Hill, Figure's daughter. There was a reality show I think on MTV in like two thousand and three was Tommy hill Figure's daughter and Tommy hill Figure's daughter's best friend and the best friend went to Barnard and she was my year and so like it was this big deal that she was there. I don't remember the name of the show or her name. 00:31:59 Speaker 3: And wait, were they filming the show like while she was in college? 00:32:04 Speaker 4: Yes, little bit, they were there. I remember Justin's Hoffman's daughter was there, so called Dustin Hoffan moving her in. Yeah, I mean it's not Brown okay, where there really are a lot of slub kids, but Barnard has some sleb kids. 00:32:16 Speaker 3: Wow. And I mean, let's be honest with Jen Spyra, Oh my god, Jen Spier's I mean, what an incredible. 00:32:24 Speaker 4: My daughter is, right, my daughter does go to Barnard. 00:32:28 Speaker 3: Well, listen, Martha Stewart wasn't Martha Sewart. Was just Martha when she was there. She wasn't the icon. 00:32:34 Speaker 4: You're so right. She was just Martha and she was I think she was probably modeling as well when she was there. I learned that she was a model. But yeah, that's I think I was aware that she went to Barnard and then she just always she always just seemed like almost like a Comedia del Arte character of like the perfect woman. But the thing is the coldness was always there's that, But that's what I'm attracted to her. I'm attracted of course, how there's yeah that she seems really cold. 00:33:02 Speaker 3: Anyone can be friendly and do recipes on TV. But when there's like an aspect of like, oh I don't think she would be friends with me, or I think she would like order my hit, you know, have me killed, then I'm in. I've exactly person encompasses everything. 00:33:19 Speaker 4: Totally because actually the strategy I also associate with you a master tactician who's thinking for d chess, you are forty steps ahead and like the complicated, diabolical strategizing. I do also see you guys in that way. 00:33:40 Speaker 3: And then she's got one hundred and one cookie recipes. You know, it's exactly. It's really Did you ever see the TV movie Martha inc? Oh no, now this was starring Sybil Shepherd was I believe it was made shortly after Martha went to prison, but Sybil plays Martha Stewart. It's absolutely horrible, but I own it on DVD. It's such an enjoyable watch. 00:34:10 Speaker 4: Oh I can't wait. 00:34:11 Speaker 3: You know, Sybil's out there throwing a copper pot at somebody at some point. You know, there are a lot of real breakdowns. I don't know how true to life it is, but I pray that it's close. I never saw the sequel there was Martha behind Bars. That one was never released on DVD, and I've tried to track it down. I've tried to pirate it. I don't know where to get Martha behind Bars. So if anyone out there knows how to get Martha behind Bars, Sybil Shepherd, I assume the whole thing is in prison. What does that even look like as a TV movie? 00:34:50 Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't believe. I've never even heard of it, But that sounds so fun, just a great evening. 00:34:55 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's just bad television at its best. 00:35:00 Speaker 4: Yes, I'm watching it now. I'm not even paying attention. I'm just I'm thinking about it, and i'm watching it. I'm loving it. 00:35:09 Speaker 3: I loved it so much that, you know, probably fourteen years ago or so, I made a compilation of clips from Martha Inc. And put them on YouTube early YouTube. Days and months later, I got an email from none other than Sybil Shepherd's assistant saying they loved the montage, could they get their own copy on DVD? So, of course was thrilled out of my mind. I sent it to them. Sybyl sent me a signed head shot and a Sibyl Shepherd mousepad, which now I think I only recently had to throw away because it kind of just turned to crumbs, which was weird. I don't know what it was made of, probably something radioactive. 00:35:57 Speaker 4: That's pritchard. That's that's the most That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. Is that something that celebrities have or do. That's the equivalent of the Derek Jeter you know, gift basket when a woman would like, you know, he'd like have someone and they'd eat his ass and then he would send them that gift basket. It was like the Derek Jeter. This is like a known thing where like you'd go to Derek Jeter's penthouse, you eat his ass, and then he would send you this gift basket with all of this. 00:36:25 Speaker 3: Swag like like what like a Derek Jeeter. 00:36:28 Speaker 4: TA think it was way. It was a lot of good stuff. I think there must have been Yankee stuff, but like I guess, like even when you're really fancy important that the swag bags that you get on the late night shows, I don't think they're that. I think it's like when you're an Oscar nominee and you get those crazy swag things, probably like a tooth whitening kit, you know, like get exactly and some weird piece of jewelry from David Yerman and just like random. 00:36:54 Speaker 3: Shit, right like a mini disc player TV this kind of case, exactly. And I just can't believe that you got that from Sybil And it was a mouse It was a mousepad that said Sybil Disobedience, Oh my god. And it was kind of like the uh, like the Warhol pop effect of four of her faces in different colors. I don't I have to imagine Sybil designed this thing. Who else is out there designing Sybil Shepherd mousepads? 00:37:26 Speaker 4: But I hope that that still is going on because that almost feels like a frivolous early aughts thing. Oh and I really hope that we get back to that late Roman thing and where we can have frivolity and access like that, right. 00:37:41 Speaker 3: Where every celebrity has a mousepad. Uh, you know, it's just absolute nonsense that does not just the gravy, the gravy of society. 00:37:50 Speaker 4: That's amazing. Bridger, that's like such a great that's crazy. 00:37:54 Speaker 3: It was, you know I that's still to this day is probably the uh it wasn't quite an encounter, but we'll call it a celebrity encounter. The fact that I have there's like a burnt DVD of mine floating around Sybil Shepherd's house and I had to throw away her mousepad. Sybil, if you have any left again, reach out, reach out to Martha, maybe to reconcile. I'm sure there's still some but that's all water under the bridge. The movie came out years ago. Back to the podcast, I'm literally just talking to Okay, Martha Stewart. We I mean, I could I could just launch a whole other podcast. Maybe that's my next move, is the Martha Cast. But let's talk about cookies, because this is another subject that I love to talk about. Jen, do you like cookies? I feel like there really must be a thing you like to eat. 00:38:52 Speaker 4: I do. I love cookies. Actually, it's funny. I recently had and I'm writing a story, and I think might be an essay about a humiliating experience I had with a Girl Scout just a few days ago. 00:39:04 Speaker 3: What can you talk about it? 00:39:06 Speaker 4: I can, actually it will be the first time that I talk about it publicly. I so here in Savannah, which coincidentally is the birth of the Girl Scouts. Julie. Yes, the Girl Scout founder Juliette Gordon Lowe is from here, and horrible, amazing detail about her. I mean she on her wedding day, a grain of rice that people were throwing in celebration at her in the groom as they walked to like a carriage lodged in her ear drum and completely like basically she immediately like she it never they couldn't get it out. It basically took away her hearing. She was like then mostly deaf and it set you to and it was like a horrible marriage. But anyway, Girl Scouts are from here. Whatever I thought there would actually be a lot more Girl Scout visibility there is not. Okay, It's like a normal city, which I find disappointing. But I was on a jog, I you know, around Forsyth Park, which is like their central park, Saturday morning. I see a sign in the ground and says Girl Scouts Cookies that way okay. So then I follow it and I see that there's a little stand and you know, with a with a little girl scalp, and she's wearing like a huge sash and she's It's like, I've never bought cookies from a girl scout. I've only had these like interactions, these very like adult joyless interactions where a need is being met and there's no like even conversation and an office. 00:40:32 Speaker 3: Like a coworker pressure. 00:40:35 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I mean not really, they don't have to. They all twist my own door. It's more like me really being like where can they get them in the building, and like try and figure it out. But so I've never actually done a live buy, so I was kind of excited about like doing it from a girl scout. So I had to jog home, get cash, come back, get in line. Finally I'm back. And first my mask is a little bit of skew, Like my mask is a little bit hanging off one here, it's dangling from my ear. Fine, and so the girl scout points at it and like is giggles and it's like your mask. So I was like, okay, this is I hate you and this is starting badly. So I fix it, and I'm like, on my order is a Samoa's. So I'm like, can I get a Samoa's. She gets it for me, and then at a certain point she's really she's really cute. She's blonde, she's little, she's probably eight. She's a lisp. So when I hear that she's a lisp, I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe talking to like a little girl scout with a lisp. This is like so fun, Like I want to hear more. So I just ask her what's your favorite flavor? So then she like skips around and comes there's like a sneeze guard. She comes around to the front next to me. She shows me they've got some new s'mores or there's one called toast ya that's the new flavor. But her favorite, her favorite is smores. And she's like, oh, they're so good, and if you just put it in the mic, you might get for two seconds that it's all good, like straight up like a cartoon darandar. And I was like, oh, that's so great. And I thought I was just mimicking her enthusiasm in a sort of normal way. I didn't think I seemed overly enthusiastic or overly zealous. So then I give her the cash and she's like, you want to make a donation. I'm like sure, it's a dollar. Then she's not giving me the cookies. I think she like forgot So I'm like, okay, the cookies. Then I think there might have been no affect in my voice when I said in a way that I think betrayed the urgencies that I felt to get home with the box. So then she's like oh. So then she gives me the cookies and I'm like thanks, I'm walking away. She's like wait. Then I come back, and she comes back and she hands me a card and she's like, this is my cookie website you can buy you can order more for me. And I'm like oh thanks, and she's like you look like a perthon who might want more. And I was like okay. And then there's a there's a middle aged woman behind me who then hears that and like starts like goffying, And as the little girl Scout is laughing at me and the woman is laughing at me, I just turn and leave and and and the problem is I have to fucking look her in the face tomorrow because I have to go back tomorrow. 00:43:19 Speaker 3: This is incredible, just being harassed by this little devil. 00:43:25 Speaker 4: She knew that it was sort of shaming she she totally was old enough to understand. She started to laugh as she said it to me. 00:43:31 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, who is this person? 00:43:34 Speaker 4: I don't know. I wish I could find another location. But now I got the taste, So I now. 00:43:41 Speaker 3: Did you just get one box? 00:43:43 Speaker 4: I do, because it's like for me, it's like a loaded gun in. 00:43:45 Speaker 3: The apart, you know, a bunch. I mean, now pull the trigger. 00:43:50 Speaker 4: And exactly exactly. But but no, love them, love those and also recently have had have really been there's this one that Alison Roman has. 00:44:01 Speaker 3: Oh and I don't know. 00:44:02 Speaker 4: Yes, Allison, I don't know if you know. Alison? 00:44:08 Speaker 3: Wait, what what is which recipe of hers? 00:44:10 Speaker 4: It's actually her It's ginger chocolate molasses. 00:44:14 Speaker 3: Oh. Interesting, it's a. 00:44:16 Speaker 4: Very adult, sophisticated profile. It's it's very intense and almost it's like salty and intense. But then I have to get my Betty Crocker, my icing tub. I have to keep I am going through these so fast it's scary, so I choose to ice it. 00:44:35 Speaker 3: So wait, wait, you're icing the Alison Roman cookie. 00:44:38 Speaker 4: I am icing that cookie. Yeah. 00:44:40 Speaker 3: What type of icing are you putting on there? 00:44:42 Speaker 4: Betty Crocker Vanilla? 00:44:44 Speaker 3: Oh oh, I love Yeah, I can't love it. I'm going to just quickly look this up so I can at least visualize what in the hell is Listen, I have the. 00:44:53 Speaker 4: First time that I really got down in dirty with this specific icing. It was actually the Ronald McDonald house in Pittsburgh. Okay, so I it was voluntary when I was there with my friend Sammy. I think it was related to my synagogue and we were doing some thing, a volunteer thing. But Sammy and I just went in the basement and we found a tub of this icing and we just ate it. And that was our contribution to. 00:45:15 Speaker 3: Ronald McDonald's, just stealing their frosted, like their. 00:45:19 Speaker 4: Frosting from the children. 00:45:24 Speaker 3: So that's my first time I was. 00:45:25 Speaker 4: Like, this is so fucking good. So Ever since that afternoon of the Ronald McDonald house, I craved it and oh yeah, Brodjurd, it's it's so. 00:45:34 Speaker 3: Like, Okay, I've now seen the cookie and it makes a little more sense to me. I thought you were I thought this was some sort of chocolate chip cookie that you were dumping frosting, Oliver, It's like a it's a one flavor cookie. 00:45:46 Speaker 4: It's a one flavor cookie. And indeed, iced molasses cookies are a thing, right, those are. 00:45:51 Speaker 3: A respectable sense. Yeah, sunning level. It's not. You know, the thing I was picturing was truly chaotic, and I was. 00:46:00 Speaker 4: Somewhat less chic when I ic it. But then I also bring the tub and a knife with me, and I sit there and re ic it as I got. 00:46:09 Speaker 3: That frosting is very good. Like if you get I like that chocolate, you put that on a gram cracker. Forget, that's nice. I love a frosted gram cracker. 00:46:17 Speaker 4: Oh good, Okay, that feels very That feels mormon. 00:46:21 Speaker 3: Actually that does feel very mormon. I mean I think any dessert, any sweet that can serve the whole family is very more. 00:46:29 Speaker 4: Yes, can serve the whole family. Yes. 00:46:33 Speaker 3: Wait, so you're making you're you're actually baking these cookies, though, I. 00:46:37 Speaker 4: Am, and I keep a lot of the dough frozen. And then because I basically am on this schedule where it's like I gain probably six pounds every weekend, and then I try like hell to lose it during the week, and then I do it again, and I'm definitely gonna do that until it's over right, right. 00:46:56 Speaker 3: I do want to circle back to Scouts for a minute, because I'd like to know if you have like a top three or top five of Girl Scout cookies. 00:47:05 Speaker 4: Oh sure, I just have a top two. I mean my tippy top is Samoa. 00:47:09 Speaker 3: Okay, and then I really. 00:47:11 Speaker 4: Really really like thin Mints too, and that's where it ends. And I have no interest in the other ones. What about you? 00:47:17 Speaker 3: I mean, I was gonna say, first of all, this awful little girl with this s'more thing, I feel like I've had one of those more unless they've unless they've changed the recipe. I remember them being garbage. Yeah, okay, And again let's let's say, you know, Girl Scouts wonderful. What as far as I know, what they're doing is wonderful. I haven't looked into it. I don't know if there's any darkness. 00:47:40 Speaker 4: I probably like one of those orthodox cars for kid scams, and it is about and blown. It's got to be a scam because it says all on the box, like all the things, they're so nebulous, like what the organization does it's it's an I think it's orthodox Jewish men are well. I just think it's probably similar to cars for and we're going to find out. 00:48:02 Speaker 3: All that said, as far as we know, girl Scouts are doing wonderful things. That said, I'm not that crazy about most of the cookies. I like a thin mint. I really eat a frozen thin mint. I don't know anyone who doesn't like a thin mint. If you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you. And then after that, I would probably say I don't think I like any of the other ones. To be honest, I would love to love a tag along, but I feel like they really just fall flat on their face. They just taste like four different types of wax. Of what other ones are available, there's like the ones. 00:48:37 Speaker 4: That don't like Samoa. That's the one. 00:48:39 Speaker 3: Samoa again is something where I'm like, yes, every element here is something I should like. Okay, what is it? Coconut, caramel and chocolate? 00:48:48 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:48:48 Speaker 3: Is there anything else there? 00:48:50 Speaker 4: Just a little short bread part. 00:48:51 Speaker 3: All I'm asking is I want to taste these flavors more strongly, and I don't feel like I feel like I'm just getting sweet. 00:48:58 Speaker 4: What is your number one, my. 00:48:59 Speaker 3: Number one on cookie. 00:49:01 Speaker 4: It over to make, make to make. 00:49:04 Speaker 3: It's a chocolate chip cookie. And now that, of course, there are so many different types, you know. I've recently been making these ones called their pan banged chocolate chip cookies. I read about that the crinkle thing, right, and I wish I could remember the baker who kind of made them famous. I think Sarah something. I do like making those, although they make Jim mad because you know, I'm over in the oven slamming this the cookie sheet every two minutes, and it's very loud and annoying. 00:49:37 Speaker 4: But how many do you allow yourself at a sitting two? 00:49:42 Speaker 3: I'm making two cookies for myself. 00:49:44 Speaker 4: Each day, lovely, And what's your drink? 00:49:47 Speaker 3: My drink is milk, skim milk. 00:49:51 Speaker 4: Okay, so there we go. 00:49:54 Speaker 3: What is your drink? 00:49:56 Speaker 4: Well, listen, I fucking love whole milk. I my job, Okay, So I don't let myself have whole milk all the time, because I mean, that is like if I could I drink a gallon a day, it's all, it's all I want to drink obsessed. I mean, when I have my when I am my cookies. Unfortunately, I'm drinking it with almond milk because I don't let myself. I can't have real milk around. Honestly, a treat for me is on the weekends, I will maybe buy a quart of whole milk and I'll let myself have it, and it's just. 00:50:29 Speaker 3: Oh god, see the same almond milk. I've tried almond milk with a cookie before, and there's like a weird almost acidity or something that comes with it, like it doesn't pair the way you want it to pare. 00:50:44 Speaker 4: I've just trained myself. It's really not ideal, but I drink so much milk until I went until I switched to almond milk. You know, I would drink. I would definitely. I probably drink a quarter a day of milk. And it's not that good for you, you know. So I went to and it's not ideal, but I feel less less anxious. 00:51:04 Speaker 3: Okay, maybe it's time for me to make the switch. I mean, I had to obviously train myself to like skim milk. I mean, we're I think we're the last two adults in America ever drinking milk completely. 00:51:17 Speaker 4: And also as a Jewish person, people don't even know what I'm talking about I'm like, my dinner that I would love is like a glass of milk and like a roast beef and cheddar cheese sandwich slathered in mayo. And I'm like, I don't know. I well, my dad is my dad is Polish Catholic. So I think this is a blood because I love mayo and I love whole milk. Bloody, just dripping bloody roast beef with cheddared cheese and so much mayo, just flushing around with the whole milk. 00:51:46 Speaker 3: Sorry, I cannot drink milk with a meal. I can drink it with a dessert. I draw the line. Okay, Jenna, do you like Arbi's. 00:51:58 Speaker 4: You know it's funny. I I've never had Arbies, and I've always had this high you know, this like nose in the air attitude about it, just to despite liking things that are shitty. So what, I love Arby's. 00:52:10 Speaker 3: I listen. I think Arby's has been so completely unfairly maligned over the years. As Yeah, I think this restaurant is wonderful. I mean, of course, it's garbage food. It's fast. You know you're eating trash, right. I love Arby's. I love a roast beef sandwich. I love a curly fry. Oh, I don't know what to tell people. 00:52:33 Speaker 4: Okay, everything you just said is amazing. And I don't know why I've always turned my nose about Arby's because I I like other things that are shitty. I mean when I lived when I lived in Chicago, I learned about Culver's. 00:52:44 Speaker 3: Okay, now coversusd I've been to Culver's once years and years ago, and I came away feeling very sad. I ate in the restaurant with a friend and there was a weirdness to it. There was something that felt extremely off, and I feel like even on the menu there was like a quote that said I'm feeling blue, which because I think their color is blue or something, but you don't want to put that on a fast food restaurant menu. People are coming in probably borderline depressed, and they don't want to be reminded while they're eating, you know, their butter hamburger. 00:53:24 Speaker 4: What city was it is? 00:53:25 Speaker 3: This was in Utah? This was I think the first Culver's in Utah. 00:53:28 Speaker 4: WHOA Okay, and what I said something weird, But I wonder if it was what you sensed? 00:53:32 Speaker 3: What was weird about it to you. First things first, it was brand new, and this was probably two thousand and. 00:53:37 Speaker 4: Six, sparkling, spanky new. 00:53:41 Speaker 3: Yes, brand new, but everything about it, if other than the fact that it was extremely clean and new, it looked like it could have been nineteen eighty seven. 00:53:51 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:53:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, like the decor, everything about it. It felt very cluttered and I felt like it closed in and claustrophobic. That lighting was weird, uh, as. 00:54:05 Speaker 4: Opposed to the Glasston age room at arby What the fuck it's the same, I mean, Bridger, I. 00:54:13 Speaker 3: Like the beautiful, the flower arrangements of your typical Arby's. Uh, just kind of the open air feel of your Arby's. No, there was something about it that did not sit right with me. Uh, and I think that affected the way I felt about the food. 00:54:33 Speaker 4: Okay, that that makes sense. I mean mine was weird too. It reminded me of what what used to weird me out about Chick fil A, which I really, of course do try to never patronize. Thank you sometimes, Yes, I mean my you know, for my friends in the community. No, it's it's it's it's so wrong. It's such a bad place. But the teens are so happy there, and it was the same one with my Culvers. It was like it was just it was like these teens and it seemed a little bit like Twilight Zone with like how happy they were and just as they were about the work. 00:55:05 Speaker 3: Right. Yeah, they're I think Culver's Chick fil A not a not a friend of the podcast, not a friend of any of us, and In and Out are all they all have kind of an extremely chipper employee. Although I will say at an in and Out it feels authentic. I feel like whoever they're I think because in and Out pays Okay, yeah, not incredible, but I feel like they get people who are kind of happy to be working. 00:55:31 Speaker 4: Sure. Yeah, And I guess as long as like once once like it catches on, like it's the cool place to work. The kids actually want to work there. I mean if they're kids, yeah, and it's sort of fun. But when you're not a kid, it's not. 00:55:44 Speaker 3: You're feeling blue. You're feeling blue, Jenny, you have a book. I mean, you know this is this podcast is not a late night show. And it feels weird to just bring up a thing that people need to hear about. But I want to talk about your book. 00:55:59 Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's called. 00:56:00 Speaker 3: Big Time and it's tremendously funny. Oh sair, it was it a nightmare to write to me, the self control and the work ethic required to write a book, I don't understand how that even works. 00:56:15 Speaker 4: That is such a great question, because I mean, yes, it was. I mean a lot of writers when they're writing a book. I mean, and this is a short story collection, it's not a novel. But a lot of people will say that they cannot read while they're writing, because you know, they don't want their ready to be influenced. I'm not like that at all. I mean, I am reading things to inspire me. I'm also reading things that are adjacent to If I'm playing with a genre, I'm going to steep myself in that genre and read that kind of shit. But I also, just on a very bare bones level, needed to be reading books to remind myself that it was even possible to write a book, because as I was doing it, it felt so impossible that I had to literally hold a book in my hands and be like someone else did it, Like it can happen. I mean, the challenge, especially for me, was I was coming off of seven years of being in a writer's room, either at The Onion for three years, at Colbert for over four years, and that's like, you know, you're on a staff, you're on the clock, you write with other people. You know, it's so supervised, and you're also of course serving a pre established editorial voice, right, And this was like being unleashed and no rules. And also at both of my old jobs, I kind of had this reputation of oh, don't ask jen if that's too dark, don't ask that her, like if that is actually funny, because my sensibility is so specific and sometimes weird and sometimes dark. And so it was heavy and exciting but also scary to be the boss. And yeah, because no one was telling me no, I couldn't blame it on anybody else. 00:57:56 Speaker 3: That's the best part about working on a TV show. I mean, if it turns out bad, you just point a finger at someone else or say it was a mess. Look, I did everything. 00:58:04 Speaker 4: I could, exactly. There's so many people to blame, I mean, all around you and all above you. Absolutely, no, it never, it never has to reflect on you. Yeah, you can just wash your hands of the whole thing. 00:58:18 Speaker 3: And then if it's a success, you can. As you see, if you watch the Emmys, one person can take all of the credit and you can. You know, there you can either blame everyone or take all of the credit for yourself. It's really a wonderful game. 00:58:31 Speaker 4: And what are you talking about with the Emmys? What am I forgetting? 00:58:33 Speaker 3: I'm just talking about in general when someone wins an. 00:58:36 Speaker 4: Oh exactly, oh my, oh wins Amy. Oh, for some reason, my mind went to writing the Emmys. 00:58:41 Speaker 3: Only because she took all the credit. 00:58:44 Speaker 4: Yeh, No, well, I mean I know you guys must have. Jimmy must have posted, you must have written the Emmy's one year. 00:58:50 Speaker 3: I never while Jimmy while I was at Kimmel. I don't think he hosted anything. Okay, I could be wrong. Oh yeah, but yeah. It's uh, when you're writing a book, your name's just there on the front, exactly. 00:59:09 Speaker 4: It's I mean, it's what stand ups say where it's like it's all the glory. But then I mean the if it's bad, then that failure is so exquisitely yours, right, and that is then that's bad. 00:59:24 Speaker 3: Have we even said the name of the book it's called Have I said big time? 00:59:28 Speaker 4: Yes, you said it honey, it's called Big Time. You said it, You said it again. 00:59:32 Speaker 3: I feel like it would almost be more difficult to write a short stories collection because you get to the end of one short story, you're not building on it. You know, you're writing a novel. You know, there's a beginning and an end you have to think of. I mean, how many stories are in your book? Fifteen fourteen four? Oh, I'm very I'm excellent. Yes there, yeah, yeah, there are fourteen beginnings and ends. That's and two at least two of them are long novella well almost length stories. 01:00:02 Speaker 4: Yes, you know what. The title story, big Time, I think actually is a novella. It's definitely over one hundred pages. One of the longer stories, which is called The Boyfriend Identity is actually, I don't think I've told you this. It's going to be The New Yorker is going to run it in parts there I don't know. Yeah, they're doing an exit and they're serializing it. I know. 01:00:19 Speaker 3: That's great. 01:00:20 Speaker 4: I know, so that'll be neat. So that's going to be online. But yeah, I mean, you're I mean, I think it's it's funny because now I'm starting to sketch out a novel, and my impulse is to just I mean, the beauty of the short stories is that like you get to play in different worlds, you get to put it down and then you get to try something completely new, and so like there's just like extreme freedom there. But I think that then the trade off is whatever. I mean, not that like novels should have fat, not that they should have pointless digressions, you know, but it seems like a lot of them, do you know, And it seems like there's like that's actually almost like the pace is so much slower, it's such a slower burn. 01:01:01 Speaker 5: That it almost allows for fat all over the place, right, I mean, the novel is like the last medium where you can just kind of do whatever you want, not worry about can we produce this? 01:01:13 Speaker 3: Will this? Yes, you can go in any direction. I mean it might fail, but you can go in any direction you want for as long as you want and then head back to the story. It's and that's what's beautiful or terrible about a novel. 01:01:27 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean I agree, you can do whatever you want. It seems like there's more leeway for having a novel not work, you know, I mean, I do read so many contemporary things, and sometimes I'm like, gee, like this just isn't working for me, but I guess, but it's considered to be something that's incredibly successful. But with a short story, you just don't have the leeway. I mean, there can't be these pointless digressions or you know, so in that way, it does kind of you to like figure out what you're doing. 01:02:01 Speaker 3: And I mean, well, the book's wonderful. It's so funny. I mean, it's everybody needs to read this book. It's my feeling on especially in humor, short stories frequently can be clever and not funny. Jen Spiro writes a short story that is both clever and just like on a very deep physical level funny, the sort of thing that makes you laugh out loud rather than smirk. And I need comedy that makes me laugh. So it's uh, I can't recommend it enough. It's also just wild, a wild collection of stories. 01:02:35 Speaker 4: It is wild. Albridger, I'm so glad. I mean, though laughing out loud is so special because I also do it so unfrequently. But when you texted me one of the lines from one of the Wilder stories, shockingly, that story is one of the wildest. It's called The Birthday Girl, and it's about oh thank you. I mean, it's just about a crazy birthday weekend. I like making fun of them because I am actually a crazy birthday girl and I. 01:03:03 Speaker 3: Didn't know sad about you. 01:03:04 Speaker 4: You know, It's more I don't actually rope people into some crazy party. But invariably it's never enough. No one did enough. I'm mad at everyone. No one celebrated me enough, and I'm disgusted that I'm like that. So it was it's a very wild birth thirty fourth birthday celebration that happens on an island the story. But amazingly Richard, even though that one's fucking insane, that was one of the stories I was really scared to show to my editor because I was like, this is crazy. I think he's gonna I think he's gonna like rethink this with me. But then that is the one that people like, and they don't even have to be weird, like normal people who I don't even think would like something so fucking crazy and dark, they're into it. 01:03:47 Speaker 3: It really goes like from the first page of that story just goes at one thousand miles an hour and just escalates like, it doesn't feel like I could escalate any further than it does. And it's incredible. 01:04:00 Speaker 4: I do try to keep the steaks just ratcheting up. That's that is fun. I mean, like the writers I love the most do that, and that's a good thing to do. 01:04:11 Speaker 3: Now, Jen, I don't want to you know, I've calmed down from the other gift. I just want to know what the second thing was that. 01:04:18 Speaker 4: Okay, I'm so glad you asked the thing is I I really was starting to as soon as I sent it to you, I was like, oh my god, is this going to be so weird. I took the gift too seriously because obviously it's lame to give you a real gift, and that is that is what I did. Lame. No, it is you've got to give you like an aspar You've got to give you like three sprigs of asparagus that like I grew in my backyard. And then we talked about theseparagus. Okay, So what this actually was. It's so ridgard. It's a it's a it's a money clip that's engraved Okay, okay, And it's a money clip that's engraved with I think that it's just Bridger, baby, I need you, love Jen. 01:04:57 Speaker 3: That's beautiful, but that's just lost in the may. 01:05:00 Speaker 1: No, it can't be. 01:05:01 Speaker 4: I bet it's coming to you. I mean, like I will. I will obviously track it now. I I because it was definitely supposed to get there. But I mean, don't worry. It's not like silver or something, you know it's from. It's from some website. 01:05:13 Speaker 3: Dollars. 01:05:15 Speaker 4: Oh my god. No, But I just I thought, I've never bought a money clip for a man before, but I just was like, I could see you almost having a money clip. 01:05:27 Speaker 3: I would I mean, if that came into my life, I would drain my savings account into cash and have it all in that money clip. 01:05:36 Speaker 4: No, no, it's coming to you, honey. I'm getting you there. Okay, it's it's bought bag for go. 01:05:44 Speaker 3: Oh that's incredible. That's really true. But this, this cookie book is fantastic. I'm so excited. 01:05:50 Speaker 4: I'm so glad. There were other ones that were hipper and a little more interesting. But then I thought, I cannot I cannot get you Martha. 01:05:58 Speaker 3: But I mean, Martha, Martha is such a solid pick. You can count on Martha. She's not going to you know, let you down with her recipes. She's not a trend chaser. She's Martha. She knows what she's doing. She assembles the team and gets the recipes. Jen, it's time to play a game. Do you want to play? Do you want to play a game called Gift or a Curse or a game called Gift Master? 01:06:27 Speaker 4: Wait? I know Gift or a Curse, but I don't know Gift Master. I'm scared. Can I know what Gift Master is and then make my choice? 01:06:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course Gift Master, which, by the way, is now a home there's a home version. It was sold out at some point. Hopefully it'll be back in stock soon. But uh, it's a game where I name three celebrities, three famous people, and then three gifts that you can give them, and you have to tell me which gift you'll give which celebrity. 01:06:51 Speaker 4: Oh that's good shit, Okay, I'll do gift Master. 01:06:55 Speaker 3: Okay, we're playing Gift Master. I need a number between one and ten from you. 01:06:59 Speaker 4: Seven. 01:07:00 Speaker 3: Okay, seven is the number. I have to do some calculating. This is the time. We've already talked about the book. But if you want to promote it more, you can do that. You can promote something else. You can just rip into somebody, you can spread a rumor. You can do whatever you want. I'll be right back. 01:07:16 Speaker 4: Okay, well, I guess I actually can. What I can plug is my audio book. The audiobook version of Big Time is going to be sick. I got some same people to read stories. The actor Dan Stevens. Yes, that Dan Stevens. He's absolutely unbelievable, unreal. He's in legion. He was cousin Matthew and Downton Abbey. Also Lauren Lapkis and Matt Rogers and me and Thomas Whittington. We're all reading stories. So I am really psyched about the audio book. And that's pretty much it. Just this book Big Time, Wait for sure. I'm sorry. I thought I actually ended in a full time, but I realized I didn't. 01:07:57 Speaker 3: You can do whatever you want. I'm still calculating. 01:08:02 Speaker 4: I'm not dum look like a thirsty money grobbing little. 01:08:10 Speaker 3: Leave me alone. I'm calculating here. I've got to get the results. Okay, I'm closing in. I've got the gifts now, I've just got to get the celebrities. So just give me who knows how much longer? Oh God, what have I done? This is the longest it's ever taken. 01:08:29 Speaker 4: I love that you're really figuring out now. 01:08:32 Speaker 3: I just I accidentally posted a picture into the document, which is not what I'm. 01:08:39 Speaker 4: I want all of your listeners to know that Bridger is wearing a cool sort of little geometric patterned blouse today and his eyes perfectly match is. I realized that it sort of sounds homophobic that I said blouse. It's just a shirt. He's not wearing like stuffed brawl with it or something. It's just his shirt. His eyes are so blue. 01:09:03 Speaker 3: Okay, I have I have done the calculating. Are you ready for the game? 01:09:09 Speaker 4: Yes? I am. 01:09:09 Speaker 3: I cannot believe how long that took. I'm not going to apologize. 01:09:13 Speaker 4: Wait, Bridgard, your eyes are blue? 01:09:15 Speaker 1: Right what? 01:09:15 Speaker 4: I never knew how blue they were? But are they not? 01:09:18 Speaker 3: My eyes are blue? And here you are saying I'm wearing blouse a flowy top. 01:09:25 Speaker 4: It's not flowy. 01:09:27 Speaker 3: Jen comes on the podcast to say I'm wearing a dress. She hates the gay community. That's the only thing we've been able to figure out. 01:09:35 Speaker 4: Got chick flay in my left hand, chicklad. 01:09:39 Speaker 3: Okay, this is the game. Gift master, I'm going to tell you the three gifts. The three gifts you'll be playing with today are number one, the power of flight. Number two, here we go a vending machine. Now, that could be a vending machine, any type of vending machine you want, cigarettes, candy, soda, pop. And finally, the other gift is a bag of chicken breasts. So those are the three gifts you're going to be giving to the following celebrities. 01:10:07 Speaker 4: Wait, what's the power of flight? 01:10:09 Speaker 3: The power of flight is the person will be able to fly through the air whenever they want. 01:10:14 Speaker 4: Oh, the actual power. I thought that was like maybe like a book by Brene Brown. 01:10:23 Speaker 3: Place. Okay, the celebrities you're giving them too are none other than Neil Young. Okay, now Timbaland, super super producer, Timbaland, and Bristol Palin. 01:10:40 Speaker 4: Oh thank god, you said Bristol. Thank god I was worried. Okay, So, first of all, Neil Young absolutely must have the bag of chicken breasts because he is older and he's beginning to atrophy. So we need to keep him upright and we need to keep him filled out. So I would I would fed X one night in those those chickens. So then I've got the power the actual power flight and' wait what's the Oh that's really good. Okay, let's see that's hard. Okay, let's go for what do I want to give Bristol. I'm going to give Bristol. I'll give Bristol the power of flight because I think she needs a break, okay, And I think that would be an awesome break. And I think that it's like, you know, you've taken your Knox and then hopefully you get some windfalls, and so I think I think she'd have fun. I think the power flight, I mean could be cool because wait, what was his name? What was the ex husband's name? 01:11:44 Speaker 3: Levi Johnston? Levi Johnston? 01:11:47 Speaker 4: We all knew that. Yeah, I mean I want her to be able to I see Levi as being someone who could be a threat, and I want her to be able to fly, fly away, fly away from her, fly away from her crazy mom. And I just I think she has a lot to fly from. So I think that that could work for her. And then so I guess, so Timberlan just gets the venting machine and I see him enjoying snacks and portable food. 01:12:15 Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like Timberland has absolutely loves a. 01:12:18 Speaker 4: Snack totally, and I guess I see Timberland in the studio and so I to It's so normal to see him with like a bag of pretzels, right, and a can of something, and that feels natural for him. 01:12:28 Speaker 3: He wants to pop out and get some free does he wants? You know, Fifth Avenue? Do they still make Fifth Avenues? It's hard to say. 01:12:37 Speaker 4: Er did you love those? 01:12:39 Speaker 3: That's so you Fifth Avenue? 01:12:41 Speaker 4: Fifth Avenue? 01:12:42 Speaker 3: God, So, I've always been a fifth Fifth Avenue person. I didn't like it, don't I'm not crazy about a butterfinger, but you know, the Fifth Avenue worked for me. 01:12:52 Speaker 4: Yeah? Were they exactly the same? 01:12:55 Speaker 3: I think that they were like competing bars. It was kind of a coke pepsi situation. I think that the Fifth Avenue had more of a peanut butter flavor. Okay, I could be wrong. This was probably thirty years ago. But yeah, Timbaland gets the vending machine. I think you did a very good job there. I feel like there's a lot of compassion behind that gift giving, and I think that that is a real key. When you've got Bristol, you've got Timbaland, and you've got Neil. Neil has always looked like he could use a few extra chicken breasts. He's, you know, God blessed. But the man looks gaunt. He looks like he's got a nutritional imbalance or something. 01:13:33 Speaker 4: I mean, buy a new body, dude, you got the money raft. 01:13:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, Jen, Okay, we've got to move on. This is the final segment of the podcast. This is called I Said No Emails. People are writing into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com is where they're writing to. Let's answer some questions. This first one says, this person is just off the bat, just really you know, kissing assow Bridger and equally talented and wonderful guest. They're talking about you, Jen. I own and ride horses, despite having no facility to do so. So I have taken up going to a neighboring property that does with the okay, with the permission of the tenants, so this person is not illegally riding horses. Recently, the tenants moved out and I struck up a great relationship with the landowner e. I text her once every two months and she gave me a horse tour once. Okay, this past week I texted her to ensure I had permission to ride this year again and asked about payment. This is quite a tale. The woman told me that she didn't expect payment or even physical labor or yardwork, and even gave me permission to use the pasture without payment. I struggled to realize my value and was already planning on giving some type of payment, but she refuses to accept it. I now need a gift for her to show how much I value her selflessness. Any recommendations. That's from Evy, Evy heavy Evie. Uh, okay, we don't know where ev is, but I will say that she's spelling like neighbor and labor with a U, So she's, as far as I can tell, not within the United States. 01:15:12 Speaker 4: Oh oh, well, then that changes things. 01:15:15 Speaker 3: I think that shifts everything. 01:15:17 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's now I'm thinking of it in a totally different way because I was thinking of these like, you know, these ranch people. But now I'm thinking of it in a different way. 01:15:26 Speaker 3: We're thinking down to Nabby, We're thinking I don't know, we're thinking truly anything outside of the wild West. This person, Evie, wants to give this horse property owner a gift. First thing that comes to mind yeah, give a horse a haircut, surprise haircut. The owner steps into the barn, all of their horses hair has been shorn. I think they're going to be thrilled. 01:15:51 Speaker 4: That's an amazing idea that that wouldn't have occurred to me. I was thinking of jams or something. But I really this is so much better. Okay, oh, I think that's really good. I mean, the only thing is though, is that about giving the horse haircut, is that the the owner has said they don't. It seems like they're insisting that it's free. It seems almost like you don't want to do some perform, some sort of labor. Like it seems like whoever owns this pasture, it's like it would almost maybe make them uncomfortable that that evy or ivy that you went out. 01:16:25 Speaker 3: And like now you're saying it would make the person uncomfortable if you broke into their barn in the night and cut off all of the horse's hair. That feels like it would lead to discomfort. 01:16:38 Speaker 4: Well, it's funny you even said to give a horse a haircut. I forgot. I mean, they don't get haircuts, right, I don't. 01:16:44 Speaker 3: Know that a horse ever gets a haircut, although you know that man must have to get cut at some point, right. 01:16:49 Speaker 4: Right, I'm going to go with gift certificate to a melting pot near you. 01:16:57 Speaker 3: Okay, how about you know, let's let's swing back into the realm of things that could be given. How about a picture of the horse? How about a picture on the horse? Oh my god, maybe it's like a beautiful painting of ev riding the horse through the prop that's amazing. 01:17:15 Speaker 4: And Evie, if you don't even feel up to that, maybe getting like because I do remember one time one of my gift that my husband gave to his mom was a chart something. He got an artist to do a charcoal drawing of her dogs. This this has never stopped making her really happy. Unfortunately he's standing right there. Else probably I would have said something I'm seeing I'm sorry, but no he yeah, that was no. But because you could draw it or you. 01:17:43 Speaker 3: Could pay, right, So what else do you easy? Anytime an animal is involved, you head over to atsy. Yeah, find an artist that wants a picture, wants to draw a picture, paint a picture, and you got it. 01:17:58 Speaker 4: Exactly and with that heartfelt note, and then maybe you frame it. But that is that's a really great idea, Bridger, you need a. 01:18:06 Speaker 3: Bag of oats. I'm thinking, how about you leave a big bag of oats on their doorstep. 01:18:12 Speaker 4: That seems hostile, incredibly hostile. I think that's a very bad idea. 01:18:18 Speaker 3: Big bag of oats. And no, you scrawl a message on a piece of paper. 01:18:26 Speaker 4: Yeah, or you break it? You again, I do like in the middle of the night, you go to the past your owner's home. You put her in a harness, stuff an apple in her mouth. 01:18:37 Speaker 3: You say you're my horse a horsey. Giddy up gal. That's a gift. That's an experience. That's people love it and experience as a gift. So there, you guess even any of those things will work just as well as the other. Take what you need. We've got to answer one more question. This is another. That one's too long, and we've already read a long one, so I'm gonna sit to the next one. This one says, hello, Bridger, an esteemed guest. My parents recently purchased a new home. Why did I say it like that? I don't know in Florida, and I need to get them a housewarming gift. My mom is in her seventies, loves mystery novels, gardening, and HGTV. My dad is in his eighties and likes history books, suits, and cable news. Let's hope not the cable news I'm thinking of. That's from Kathleen in Oregon, so her parents. 01:19:29 Speaker 4: It's in bad cable news. What can it possibly be bridge, I mean, like, dnt. 01:19:38 Speaker 3: You know, let's just say, you know, let's think more within the realm of mystery novels, HGTV and sweets Kathleen needs. These parents are now in Florida. They've retired. 01:19:50 Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, Unfortunately, a real idea popped into my mind. It's not funny. I'm just gonna say we can get something funny. A subscription to Masterclass. 01:20:00 Speaker 3: That's a great thing for a couple of retirees. 01:20:02 Speaker 4: Yeah, they sound retired, And actually I got that from my mom when she retired, and she's so Kathleen, I would just caution you that if you were to go to the Master cross route. I did this for my mom and my mom our relationship is almost broken down because I haven't yet watched the Shonda Rhymes one and she is so upset that I haven't seen it. And it's pretty much all she'll talk about, and so you could open up cans of worms and it could be a problem. But that is that's an actual, real gift for retirees. It's not. 01:20:29 Speaker 3: Wait, so watch the Shonda Rhymes one, which I assume is like how to. 01:20:33 Speaker 4: Create a TV show? Yes, is your mom going to create a TV show? She's not going to create a TV show. She watches sometimes she watches things. She does watch all different ones unrelated. 01:20:45 Speaker 3: To her own right. 01:20:47 Speaker 4: She used to be a lawyer, so she watches all this different stuff. She's definitely interested because I'm in that world. She likes to know the logo and sometimes find things that she thinks that I will like. 01:20:59 Speaker 3: That's sweet. Also might be secretly trying to get staffed on Bridgerton or something. 01:21:05 Speaker 4: You know, I would be really fucking pissed if she, if she, under my nose, got some job like that. Note that would be really funny if she wrote for Britishon. That's another thing that we almost came to blows over because I haven't watched Bridgeston yet and I'm I mean sorry, I have eyes, Sorry, but okay, but it's funny. The Florida part, Yeah, how apart you know, yeah, what are you thinking? How swarming? 01:21:34 Speaker 3: How swarming? Now we're just on the sincere gift path, which I feel like, you know, you also wonder like what if they moved into is it a big empty house? In that case, maybe they would use like a nice bookshelf for the mom and her mystery novels. Yeah, something I like to get as a housewarming gift. As a plant because I know that, you know, I'm so good at killing them. It's nice to have somebody kind of restocking the vegetation in my home. Yes, they're in Florida. Let's see. Is it a dehumidifier a thing? 01:22:06 Speaker 4: Oh, that's we I've never had one in my life and they just had one in the Savanna apartment that I'm in. And yes, a dehumidfier. That's a great idea. These are incredibly practical gifts, right. 01:22:19 Speaker 3: I feel like with the cable news, let's get dad a new subscription to something he has to read, something I love a little bit more balanced, take something. Oh, let's hear it. 01:22:33 Speaker 4: Well, we didn't see we said the dad's into mystery stuff. He's not into history. Do they say history? 01:22:39 Speaker 3: Interesting? Interestingly, Mom's into mystery Dad's into history. 01:22:44 Speaker 4: Sweet, Okay, So I I mean, if you turn on there are these new hardcore histories with Dan Carlin that you have to pay for. Oh, and I'm listening to the one about the Fall of Rome and it is dad approved. So oh, your dad might not know, so that could be good. And then I mean the mystery. Yeah, I love the adjacent gift. I love the bookshelf idea. 01:23:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that that all adds up. Maybe get Mama like a magnifying glass. 01:23:13 Speaker 4: Oh. 01:23:14 Speaker 3: Yes, I feel like we've given you know, an abundance of ideas here. 01:23:20 Speaker 4: I think we've given out too much. I think we should have kept some of these doors sounds. 01:23:24 Speaker 3: We should take the heart mystery element, I mean tech now and start charging. But you know this is all free. That's the promise of an I said, no gifts. You're going to get world class advice, and you're gonna get it for free. 01:23:39 Speaker 4: Wow. 01:23:39 Speaker 3: Jen, we're done answering questions. We've come to the end of the podcast, and I'm not surprised. I had a wonderful time with you. I mean, if you did it when we were texting about this a few weeks here, you did promise you were going to develop a new personality to debut on the podcast, which would have been I would have loved to come in here and suddenly you're just a new person. 01:24:00 Speaker 4: That would have been so great. I should have done that. 01:24:03 Speaker 3: But I mean, what in this time, when it's impossible to see you otherwise? What I mean? This alone was just the most powerful gift of all. 01:24:15 Speaker 4: It was such a powerful gift. And it was also wonderful to know that we can have fun, good old fashioned fun, without tearing others down, without discussing money very vulgarly. I loved that we were able to do that. 01:24:30 Speaker 3: This was this may have been the biggest test of our friendship. Yeah, will they be able to talk about anything else other than people in entertainment they don't like. 01:24:41 Speaker 4: Exactly? I feel so great, Bridgard like a fresh flow. Yeah, I just don't feel dirty. I'm not. Yeah, I don't feel. 01:24:49 Speaker 3: Neither of us has to take a shower. We could just move on with our lives. The listener got to get a little peekin, and I think we've all had a good time here. And I mean, happy birthday to the pow, Happy birthday baby. This is in some ways the end of season one. I feel like it's too bad we don't have some some sort of cliffhanger to leave the audience with, will they won't they? Who done it? I do think? I mean, the hope here is that this episode is not the beginning of another disaster for humanity. Hopefully this is you know, second chapter end of pandemic rather than like you know, giant monster attacks the city or invaders or you know, giant volcano erupts and Yellowstone. There are all these things that could happen Ridger which I've now named on the podcast, which may will them into reality, which right, but that's the simulation, that's how it works. 01:25:48 Speaker 4: Those would be fine. Actually, I just ran the numbers. Those aren't that bad. 01:25:53 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, listener, thank you for being here, Jen, thank you for being here. I just had a terrific time. 01:26:00 Speaker 4: I'm delighted that you had me. 01:26:04 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go bake some cookies. I hope we can all have a wonderful day and we'll head off into the future and again end of the podcast. This is where we part ways. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's engineered by our dear friend Annalise Nelson and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to midroll dot com slash ads. 01:26:51 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you, hear. 01:26:55 Speaker 2: Funna Man myself perfectly clear, I guess to my home. 01:27:03 Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, and. 01:27:07 Speaker 2: I said, no guests, your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do 01:27:18 Speaker 1: You dare to surbey me