1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrub. 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 3: A dub duve and the tub a. 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: Tub tub Another day and now the dolla. I was 5 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 2: gonna say podcasts but not too Another day another dolla? 6 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 2: When are you heading off to Mexico? 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 3: Right after we wrap this baby? 8 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: We are flying off to Mexico to do what taste 9 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: our wedding food. 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 2: That's like, it's kind of crazy to think about the 11 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 2: what you the planning of a wedding and thinking of 12 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 2: a destination wedding and like you either go or you 13 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 2: either just don't taste the food and you trust that 14 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: it's gonna be great, or you have to make a 15 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 2: whole trip. 16 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there's like a lot of stuff that 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 1: you don't really think about because we're we're it's literally 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: like a business trip. So we're going out there just 19 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: for the weekend, and we have meetings, walk throughs with 20 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: literally every single vendor, flowers, rentals, food, music, wow, like 21 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: staff of the hotel because we want to look at 22 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: like some of the room one of the rooms that 23 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: we might stay. So like we literally just have meetings 24 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: back to back to back. But what's really cute is 25 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,639 Speaker 1: that Robbie's parents and my parents are. 26 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 3: Going, oh my gosh, that's so fun. Yeah, So they're 27 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 3: not going to come to all the meetings because that feels. 28 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 2: They're just gonna get to go on vacation. 29 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: Basically, they're gonna yeah, they're gonna go, but they're gonna 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 1: do the food tasting with us. 31 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 2: That's so fun. 32 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, So they'll be there for the food tasting, but 33 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: they're not going to do any of the other meetings. 34 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 2: What are you doing? 35 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 3: So the food our hotel is. 36 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: Like really really good, but we were going through the 37 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: menu because we have to pick like two I think 38 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: we're picking like four past apps, two appetizers, two mains, 39 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: two desserts. So we're going through the menu and I 40 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: was like, we should I just put like a chicken 41 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,040 Speaker 1: option because I feel like you always have to have 42 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: a chicken option because it feels like universal. And Robbie 43 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,559 Speaker 1: was like, we're not chicken people. We never eat chicken. 44 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: And we're like at the ocean, why don't we just 45 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: do surf and turf, Like, We'll do a steak option 46 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: and a fish option. So that's what we're doing. 47 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 2: I don't feel like I've been to a wedding with 48 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 2: a chicken option. In a minute. It's always fish or steak. 49 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, sure, I thought I was so irreverent. I'd 50 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 3: be like, we're not having chicken. 51 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: No, I have chicken tacos as one of the like 52 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: past apps. 53 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 2: So whatever you want to do, that's right, that's what 54 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: I think too. 55 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 3: Oh wow, he. 56 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 4: Seriously, I can have Yes, I'm not gonna eat the steak. 57 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 4: I'll have the fish. 58 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: Fine, great, it'll be a fish of the day, so 59 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: whatever's fresh that day, and you'll have a vegetarian option. 60 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 3: It'll be yeah, vegetarian option. I don't know what that is, 61 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 3: but yeah, we'll have one. 62 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 5: I might have that. Who knows, we'll see you knows. 63 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 5: But you gave us options. That's all we can ask for. 64 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 65 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: I felt so irreverent not having chicken. It's your wedding, 66 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: your party, get rid of the chicken. 67 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. You know what is interesting though, because I always 68 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 2: see these controversial takes on TikTok about, like when people 69 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 2: are like, it's your wedding, like, don't think of anybody else, 70 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 2: and they're like, but there are a lot of people 71 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: coming to celebrate you, So you do, in a sense 72 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 2: have to consider them, and it is a little bit 73 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 2: about them because they're coming to celebrate you. 74 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: Right, It's like if I made the whole menu gluten free. Yeah, 75 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: Like it's like, that's so rude. 76 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 3: I would never do that. 77 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: Finding the balance of it being your day and in 78 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 2: certain decisions being like, Okay, this is what I want 79 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 2: and it's not the tradition, traditional route, but it is 80 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 2: what I want to do, but also being considerate. I 81 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 2: think our world do you feel like our world has 82 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 2: beencome very like me, me, me? And this is like 83 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 2: off subject from the wedding, but I was thinking about this, 84 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 2: how like for a long time. It was, especially growing 85 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 2: up in Christian culture is very much like serve others 86 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 2: before your self type thing. And so I've always had 87 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 2: that mentality of like thinking about others, which I think 88 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 2: developed into like people pleasing to an extent mm hm. 89 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 2: But there's a part of me that is grateful for 90 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: that mentality of like not always thinking about myself first 91 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: in situations, because I think our society has become so 92 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 2: like I do what I want and only what I want, 93 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 2: and I don't consider people because like this is what 94 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 2: I want to do, as opposed to just being like 95 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: if we all just like work together and helped each 96 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 2: other out, you know, yeah, and obviously took care of 97 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 2: ourselves because you have to put on your mask before 98 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 2: you help others. I don't know, it's interesting. It's become a. 99 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,239 Speaker 3: Very like I see your point. It's true. 100 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: It's like and it's so funny because that's the one 101 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: thing everybody tells me about the wedding. It's like, do 102 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: what you want, it's your day. And I'm like, well, yeah, 103 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: but I want people to like be happy, Like if 104 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: our guests are miserable, then like, how am I gonna 105 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: have a fun day if everyone's like, you know. 106 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 2: Well, That's what I'm saying. It's that balance of like 107 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: you getting to make the decisions that you want to 108 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 2: make in details, but also like wanting everyone to have 109 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 2: a good time to celebrate, which makes you happy right 110 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 2: in return? So right, like everybody. 111 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,919 Speaker 1: So we're not really gonna do speeches at the wedding. 112 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 1: We're gonna do them the night before mm hmm. And 113 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 1: it's for two reasons. One, there's nothing more buzzkilly to 114 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: me at a wedding than sitting through many speeches. I 115 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: feel like, when I'm buzzed, I want to like get 116 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: the party going. 117 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 3: You know what I mean. And then once the speeches 118 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 3: are over, I'm like, I'm ready for bed. So it 119 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 3: was like that. 120 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 1: And then also I feel like there's a like the 121 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 1: person you're asking to give a speech, they're not going 122 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: to enjoy themselves until their speech is over. Yes, so 123 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'd rather my friends and my family just 124 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: like get down and like have fun then be like 125 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: stressed about giving a speech. 126 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 127 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: So it's kind of the the two tiers there. But 128 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,039 Speaker 1: I don't know where I was going with that. 129 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: Well, you're just saying I think you were saying that's 130 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 2: not something you're that's something you're doing that's not technically traditional. 131 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right right, But that's what I want. 132 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 1: I want my friends and my family to just like 133 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: go gangbusters on Friday. 134 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 2: Are you doing band or DJ? 135 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: We haven't decided yet, Okay, so I'm hoping this weekend 136 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: we'll have a lot of clarity on stuff. But I 137 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: love a band, but if the band's not good, then 138 00:05:59,520 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: it's bad. 139 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 6: Yeah. 140 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, DJ is pretty safe, right, Yes, Like you can't 141 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: go wrong with the DJ Right band. 142 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 4: We had a. 143 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 5: Band, but we also went and saw them beforehand and 144 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 5: we knew these days like fun eighties songs and they 145 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 5: were a blast. 146 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 4: It's like done. 147 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,240 Speaker 3: So we can't go see them. That's the problem. 148 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: They have sent in videos so like we can watch 149 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: videos of the bands and then they have like like 150 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: a list of all the music that they all the 151 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 1: songs that they can do. And they also said to 152 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: a lot of these things because we want to do 153 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: like strings for the ceremony. They said, if you give 154 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: them enough like lee Way or Headway or whatever it is, 155 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 1: that they can pretty much learn anything. 156 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 3: So I don't know. 157 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 5: By the way, I've been married for twenty two plus years, 158 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 5: that band is still around. They're still doing it. Yeah, 159 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 5: that should you guys google them. They're still still happening. 160 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: That's so wild. 161 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 2: You should have them come for like a INNIVERSI you. 162 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 4: Should shout out to the barbies and yeah, bring them out, 163 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 4: bring them out? 164 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 2: All right? So are you doing are you going to 165 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 2: do a cake? Are you going to do something different? 166 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: I think that we're going to have like a ceremonious 167 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: cake for like visuals and stuff. But I think we're 168 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: gonna have we picked out the desserts and they're they 169 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 1: I haven't tasted them yet, but they sound so bombed. 170 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 2: Oh so you're good. That'll be this weekend that you're 171 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: tasting this. 172 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 173 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: One of those like a chocolate like hazel nut chocolate option, 174 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: and then the other one's like adult chate de leche 175 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: like cinnamon option. 176 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 2: Yuh yeah, sounds delicious. Yeah, this is great. This is 177 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 2: this is giving forward momentum. 178 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know everybody is like I met this girl. 179 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: I was at this charity event this week, and this 180 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: girl's getting married next year, and she's like, what are 181 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: you getting married? 182 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 3: She's like, oh my god, that's so soon. 183 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 2: I don't say that. 184 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, please, I'll stressed. Yeah, the anxiety is already there. 185 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 2: It is. Is this like something about getting older, where 186 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 2: like these months are going by so fast that I it, 187 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 2: my mind is blown that we're like talking about like 188 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 2: that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. 189 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 3: March is tomorrow, like literally it's tomorrow. 190 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 2: Mark, Well, March is like two weeks from now, basically. 191 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, like we'll give it a month. 192 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it'll be a. 193 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 4: Months the blink of an eye. Yeah, it's so. 194 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: Fast and then, but no, I do. I do feel 195 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: like January lags. 196 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 2: It does forever. Yeah, January feels like two months. Oh 197 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 2: so you gain a month. Yeah, so I feel like, yeah, 198 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 2: it's like daylight savings time. Yes, yes, yes, okay, this 199 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 2: is great. Speaking of okay, I started thinking about this 200 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 2: when Robbie was trying to get your pants up with 201 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 2: the tools, and I was, well, I went into like 202 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: thinking about your wedding dress and stuff and like needing 203 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 2: to make sure we have all preparations on deck, you know, 204 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 2: just in case it doesn't above, just to be overly prepared. 205 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because when you zipped me up in it 206 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: at the place, it was quite hard. 207 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: Well no, I mean I think that's just the structure 208 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 2: of the dress is like stiff. But so what happened 209 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 2: because it looked like a challenge. 210 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: So I had like ten minutes to get ready to 211 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: like leave the house, which is poor planning on my 212 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: pot a choice, poor planning on my part. And now 213 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: I took a nap and I was like deep in 214 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: rem like I had drool all over my pillow, Like 215 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: I was deep in my sleep. 216 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 3: So it took me a little bit while to come to. 217 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,079 Speaker 1: So anyways, but I had to like leave for this event, 218 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 1: and I have that my outfit picked out in my head. 219 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: It's perfect black pants, black blazer, or black shoes out 220 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,959 Speaker 1: the door. I don't have several black plase are the 221 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: perfect black pants. They're like tight and they flare. They're 222 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: so crue Reformation, but shout out Reformation because your zippers 223 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: are horrendous. Yes, And so I cannot get them up, 224 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: and I'm like I had to humble myself and I 225 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: was like, Babe, I need your help. I need to 226 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: like hold this together and you need to like zip 227 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: me in. And he's like giving it literally you can 228 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: see like the veins in his head popping out. 229 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 3: He's giving it his all to like get it up. 230 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,199 Speaker 1: And he's like, Babe, it's not that it's too tight, 231 00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: it's the zipper. 232 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 3: Like he kept saying, it's the zipper. It's not you. 233 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't care if it is me 234 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: or if it's a zipper. I just need it to 235 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: come on, like I need it to zip up. I 236 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: have to go and I'm wearing these pants. So he 237 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 1: brings out the toolkit, like a legit toolbox, like it 238 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: like puts on the table and it's like. 239 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 3: Sump'm oh damn. 240 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 2: You know. 241 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: It's like it's black like a young handle, and I'm like, 242 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: what isn't there that you're going to use on me? 243 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 3: Like I was concerned, And he pulls out. 244 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: These flers to put supplier them and like like lift 245 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: it up and he's giving it again all his MND 246 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: like he's like out of breath at this point. 247 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 3: Spoiler alert, he did not get my pants up. The 248 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 3: zipper never got up. Yeah, And the worst part is 249 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 3: he goes just wear them like that. 250 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, because you're not jacket. He goes, you're jacking 251 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,959 Speaker 1: and goes sit down, crush your legs, crush your legs. 252 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: You can't see it. And I'm like I'm like bulging out, 253 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: like my underwear is like exposed, God forbid. Someone hugs 254 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 1: me and like my ass is out, Like I just 255 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 1: can't do that. So we had to find these other 256 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: pair of pants, and I was laughing so hard because 257 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: they're like they look like pedal pushers on me, like 258 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: they're supposed to be pants to the ground, but they 259 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: like cut off like above. So I felt like I 260 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: was like, yes, I felt like Serena Carpenter and her 261 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: good Grace's little number like these like. 262 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 3: High water type pants. 263 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: Anyways, I made it to the event, but yeah, I 264 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: wasn't happy with my outfit, but. 265 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 3: You know, Robbie really gave it as all. 266 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 6: Yeah, I was moment I got you, I messager and 267 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 6: I was like, you hate to see the toolkit come out, 268 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 6: not the toolkit, the tool box, the tool box. 269 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: So yeah, I will be going back to the store 270 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: and telling them, showing them. 271 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 3: These videos that I posted. 272 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 2: That was smart. 273 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, you literally tried everything, tried everything to get this 274 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 1: and the thing is they zip. 275 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 3: I was gonna ask me, which is so irritating. 276 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 2: I had a skirt like that where I would try 277 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 2: and I couldn't get it up, and then I'd take 278 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 2: it off and it'd go perfect and I'm like okay, 279 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 2: and it wasn't that tight. 280 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. 281 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: I mean, these are like stretchy pants, so they're like 282 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: meant to type, but they're not. I mean it quote 283 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: like I could pull it, you know, Chris Cross, Chris Cross. 284 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: Anyway, but I got a lot of tips. 285 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: I've never seen more d ms about something in a while, 286 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,719 Speaker 1: Like it was a very hot topic that I will say, 287 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 1: but I got a lot of suggestions of things that 288 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: you can like rub onto zippers to help them go up, 289 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: Like I don't even know deodorant and like all. 290 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 3: Kinds of things. 291 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, leave it to the scrubbers. 292 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it all. Yeah, I'm so bummed. 293 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 2: Well, I'll be prepared with a kit and sort of sorts. 294 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,719 Speaker 3: Also, I heard that wedding dress doesn't go up. 295 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just saying I will be prepared for everything. 296 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 2: And also I saw this thing where if you wear 297 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 2: if you use chalk. 298 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 3: Was one what put chalk on the zipper? 299 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 2: No chalk, Like if you get a stain or something 300 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: on your dress or so much or like you know, 301 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 2: just something gets on your dress. You couldn't use chalk 302 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 2: on your white dress and it covers it. 303 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 3: You know, who's gonna bring the chalk to Mexico? 304 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 2: I got it. Thank you, I'm on it. 305 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. 306 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: But we were trying to figure out Bachelorette Yes, which 307 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 2: is still in the works. 308 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: It's still in the works, but I feel like January 309 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: is the perfect month because it's so long. 310 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 2: Yes, we just have to figure out where we're going, 311 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 2: because you don't want to go somewhere cold. 312 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: Correct, So we might end up being somewhere cold. Oh, 313 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,199 Speaker 1: in this here city of Los Angeles. 314 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 2: We could do like Aspen or something she can cute. 315 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to be cold. Oh, I don't want 316 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: to be cold. Okay, I'm not a cold girly. That 317 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: so I'm getting married in Mexico. 318 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 2: Okay. 319 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 6: Oh yeah. 320 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 3: The whole thing was not to not be cold, not 321 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:56,559 Speaker 3: be chilly. I don't want to I don't want to cold. Wind. 322 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 4: Well, Los Angeles in January could potentially be cold. 323 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 2: Cold, yeah, be hot though. 324 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: It could be you never know. 325 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,079 Speaker 2: I have had February's where I'm on a beach in 326 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 2: Los Angeles. 327 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 3: I've had Februaries with rain. 328 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, we have, yeah, a lot of rain. 329 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 3: So that's the thing about Los Angeles here. 330 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, just unpredictable. Okay, we have some dear Bonnie questions 331 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 2: that we're going to get to, but first we're going 332 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: to take a break. All right, we are back. So 333 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 2: last week Tanya and I were on the phone and 334 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 2: I don't know, we were just having it was just 335 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 2: a random conversation and okay, we go to say goodbye 336 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, love you, and she's like, love you, 337 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 2: and then she goes cheers and I was like, oh, 338 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 2: that was weird, and I hang up and then I 339 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 2: was like, did she say cheer? Like did I hear that? Right? 340 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 2: It felt like very like wonk, like forced, And so 341 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 2: she texted me She's like, I'm working on a news sindal. 342 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 2: I'm trying to say cheers at the end of like 343 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 2: my calls or like it sound. How did it sound? 344 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 2: I was like, I think the more you say it, 345 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 2: like it'll start to sound a little more natural, but 346 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 2: like it didn't sound supernatural. And last or on Tuesday, 347 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 2: I went to get drinks with or I went to 348 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: dinner with Keana, and she would say cheers like at 349 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 2: the end of like if she said thank you or something, 350 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 2: and it sounded so effortless, and I was like, Tanya, 351 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 2: you have to you have to just practice it. So 352 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 2: it started. 353 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 3: So it has evolved since i've since we've spoken. 354 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: Laugh Oh wow, okay, because I. 355 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 3: Heard this man. 356 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: I was at the vet actually and this man was 357 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: outside on the phone and he was like, I get 358 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: a may Chess And I was like, oh, that is 359 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: so much cooler than by, Like By is such like 360 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: a blah word like goodbye bye, Like who likes that? 361 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 3: Nobody likes goodbye. 362 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 2: Till we say love you bye. 363 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 4: Become bye bye is not great. You're right, it's very 364 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 4: final and morbid and negative. 365 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm like, I want a new sendoff. So 366 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna adopt this cheers. So I 367 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: tried out the cheers with you. I tried it out 368 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: with Robbie. It wasn't like hitting no, but I have one. 369 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 2: Now, what is it? 370 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 3: To be continued? 371 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 2: Big? It's a long TBC? 372 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 4: Oh, TVC. It isn't really are your closest friends? You 373 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 4: can do TBC? 374 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, to be continued to. 375 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 4: Like the person that the phone company, you could just say. 376 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 2: To be a continued I think that's gonna be really 377 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 2: hard to sound natural and effortless. 378 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 5: Let's practice it, can You and I just having Hey 379 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 5: tomorrow morning, can you get in a little bit early 380 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 5: because uh we need to do some extra stuff for 381 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 5: the holidays? 382 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 3: Sure? 383 00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 4: Yeah? 384 00:16:59,320 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 385 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 3: Else like five sounds good okay? 386 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 4: And the trending and easy to send me three trendings? 387 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 3: Okay? 388 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 4: Is that fine? 389 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 3: That's fine? 390 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 4: And none none about Kristin Cavaleri fine, fine, okay, great, 391 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 4: all right, I'll see it in my morning. 392 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 3: To be continued. It's so good. 393 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 2: I would almost feel dismissed by it. 394 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 3: To be continued. 395 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so good because it's like I cannot wait 396 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: to continue this with you next time. 397 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know something about it feels dismissive, like I 398 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 2: wouldn't like it, so don't use it on me. 399 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to use it on you. 400 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 2: Well I'm gonna feel like you've dismissed me. 401 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 4: But the idea is I can't wait to continue this conversation. 402 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not goodbye to be continued. 403 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 2: It feels like. 404 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 3: Okay, to be continued. 405 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's better the octave. 406 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, to be continued, to be continued. 407 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 2: I can't wait to see how this works out. 408 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 4: This conversation isn't over, it's to be. 409 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: Continued, exactly. It's not goodbye, it's to be continued. 410 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 2: Okay. Oh yeah, that's going to take some practice. That's 411 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 2: not something you ever say. 412 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 3: To be continued, to be continued. 413 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to 414 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 2: hear it in action. Yeah, real action. 415 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 3: Uh huh. 416 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 2: Well shall we help the scrubbers with their question? 417 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, here we go. 418 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,919 Speaker 4: I'm thirty five I've been divorced for two years. I 419 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 4: have a three year old who lives with me full time. 420 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 5: Her dad isn't a supporter at all and has two 421 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 5: supervised visits a month. He seems to be happy with 422 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 5: the status quo and has not been pushing me on this, 423 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 5: but he's made plenty of threats in the past about 424 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 5: taking me to court, even though we already did that. 425 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 5: I've been dating someone since September. We are exclusive. He 426 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,439 Speaker 5: hasn't met my child yet, but I plan to introduce 427 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 5: them soon. My boyfriend asked me about posting a picture 428 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 5: of us together on his Facebook, and I said, of course, 429 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 5: let's just please don't tag me because I feel like 430 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 5: I should give a heads up to my ex first. 431 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 5: Not that he has any saying what I do in 432 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 5: my personal life, but if he were dating and that 433 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 5: person would be around my child, I would want to know. 434 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,240 Speaker 5: Everyone I've talked to you about this says I shouldn't 435 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,399 Speaker 5: tell my ex because it could cause him to overreact 436 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 5: and start making threats again and cause me stress. 437 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 4: I'm weighing both options. What do I do. 438 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 2: I don't think you tell him. I mean, if that's 439 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 2: how people view your ex and they think he's going 440 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 2: to cause you stress and make threats, then I don't 441 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 2: think you tell him. 442 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 3: I don't think you tell him at all. 443 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like you're divorced and he gets two 444 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 2: supervised visits. He doesn't support her at all or have custody. 445 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 2: So what I mean, I don't think that he, like 446 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 2: I hate to say, deserves to know who you're dating, 447 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,919 Speaker 2: But I think he kind of lost that privilege. 448 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 5: Right if you had your custody, it might be different. Yeah, 449 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 5: but since you don't, does he deserve to know? Is 450 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 5: the howe you obligated to tell him that there's another 451 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 5: guy in your life that might be around your kid. 452 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 2: And he's gonna find out. Like if he finds out, 453 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 2: then it's a conversation of like, hey, like you know 454 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 2: we're divorced. That's not I don't feel obligated to tell 455 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 2: you that. But yeah, this is who I'm dating. And 456 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 2: he hasn't met our daughter yet, but he will eventually. 457 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,919 Speaker 3: I threw away the sheet with the with the paper 458 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:15,360 Speaker 3: on it. 459 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 5: But does she respect this guy? 460 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,640 Speaker 2: Sorry with the question does she respect the guy? 461 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, she doesn't seem to, but she doesn't say really, I. 462 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 2: Think that there might be a sense of not fear, 463 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 2: but just like worry that he will overreact, will like 464 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 2: go crazy. So I think that there's hesitation in that. 465 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: And also they haven't met your child yet, so I think, no, 466 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 1: like you don't know this. This is not he's not 467 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: your dad, he's not your husband, he's not your husband. 468 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: He is the father of your child, and that's where 469 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: that's where it lies. 470 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 4: But I think he's going to make this an issue. 471 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 2: But he's gonna make an issue no matter. 472 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 5: What well that could be. But maybe you tell him first. 473 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 5: He won't make it as much of an issue. He 474 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 5: won't make it seem like you're doing it behind his back, 475 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 5: that sort of thing. 476 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 2: But her friends seem to think that he will make 477 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: it an issue and cause her stress. So I just 478 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 2: don't and I'll go with your gut on that. 479 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. 480 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 2: Good luck though. That is very hard and stressful and 481 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 2: I'm sorry you're having to navigate that. 482 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am really sorry. 483 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 4: This is from Yasmin Dear Banya and Meston. It's cute. 484 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 4: I'm at day once grubber from the Netherlands. Oh you 485 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 4: watch uh Love Island, Netherlands. I wanted you to know 486 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 4: how much you're weekly and now two times a week. 487 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 4: Episodes have meant to me. Since the pod started, I've 488 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 4: gone from a single girl to meeting the love of 489 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 4: my life, to getting married and now the mom to 490 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 4: a one year old boy. 491 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 3: Wow, that's crazy. 492 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 2: It's a long guy. 493 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 4: The Netherlands isn't that big. 494 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 5: But since getting married three years ago, I've moved to 495 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 5: another city an hour away from my family and close friends. 496 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 5: And I know what you're thinking, that's nothing with la traffic, 497 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 5: but it's still a decent distance from where I used 498 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 5: to live. 499 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 4: We understand, we get it. 500 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,439 Speaker 5: By the way, it just sounds beautiful, doesn't it, wherever 501 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 5: she lives in the Netherlands an hour away? 502 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 2: But that job is just gorla. 503 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 5: I've tried getting closer to my sisters in law, not 504 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 5: having any sisters myself, but they're not as social as 505 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 5: I am. 506 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:12,400 Speaker 4: I'm a Tanya. 507 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,439 Speaker 5: Every time I suggest going out for dinner, crickets in 508 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 5: the group chat. I keep trying, but they're all busy 509 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 5: or they don't react to my messages. I think I've 510 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 5: tried to set something up like six times this year. 511 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 5: My husband says, let it go, stop trying. 512 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 4: It's fine. 513 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 5: But I really want to have that relationship with them 514 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 5: for our kid's sake. 515 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,639 Speaker 4: What do you think? Should I just let it go? Ps? 516 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 4: Can I just say that I'm so. 517 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 5: Very happy that you both found your people. You've grown 518 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 5: so much and you deserve all the happiness. 519 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:49,360 Speaker 2: Yes, we love you. I think we're gonna have two 520 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 2: different opinions on why because I say let it go. 521 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,159 Speaker 3: Really, yeah, suld let it go. 522 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 2: I just don't like putting energy into people who don't 523 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 2: even give me anything back. Like, I don't know why 524 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 2: you continue to I don't know why I would continue 525 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,880 Speaker 2: to put energy into people who ignore me, who don't 526 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 2: put in the same effort or even like minimal effort 527 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 2: to hang out with me. It's like why I get 528 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 2: for your kid's sake, and like they're your family. But 529 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. I just don't know that. I think 530 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 2: you have so much to give to people just from 531 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 2: your email and like you just seem very kind and sweet, 532 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 2: and it's I just don't want you to give your 533 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 2: energy to people who don't really respect it or deserve it. 534 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, spoiler alert, you agree, I don't disagree. 535 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,440 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I. 536 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 4: Think she's right too. Whoa cultivating a friend group. 537 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,880 Speaker 2: That's what I think. That just is good for your 538 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 2: chosen family and people that live near you and that 539 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 2: like are excited to hang out with you and make 540 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 2: plans with you, as opposed to like continue letting yourself 541 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 2: get rejected because I I just don't want them, them 542 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,440 Speaker 2: not responding or not making an effort to dim your 543 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 2: light and your your desire to have relationships with people. Right, so, 544 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: I think you're better than them, and you deserve better 545 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 2: than them. You're sure again you deserve better than them. 546 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 4: A blast comes beck A eight. All right, let's say 547 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 4: mel Hi scrubbing and FAMU for such a bright light 548 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 4: in my day. 549 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 5: I am so happy that you provide two podcasts a week. 550 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 5: I can think. I think I speak for all the scrubbers. 551 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,360 Speaker 5: Keep in coming, y'all the fabulous at your job. I 552 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 5: need friend advice. I have four friends that have been 553 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 5: my friends since high school. We were all on each 554 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 5: other's weddings. We've been chewing each other on through many 555 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 5: life events. We each live in a different state, and 556 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 5: each woman is in a very different season of life. 557 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 5: One has multiple kids, one is a newlywed, One is 558 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 5: very career focused, one is struggling within for et cetera. 559 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,359 Speaker 5: The past few times I've gotten together, I have had 560 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 5: the worst time, and I find myself being happy for 561 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 5: the weekend to end. We used to say we'd address 562 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 5: one another as auntie to our children, but none of 563 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 5: them ever want to acknowledge my children and make me 564 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 5: feel bad when I have to miss something because of 565 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,959 Speaker 5: being a mom or a wife. I get super anxious 566 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 5: every time I text them, but I still make the 567 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 5: effort to check in, but it takes them days to 568 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 5: respond and they'll leave me on red. They never like 569 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,479 Speaker 5: anything I post, even when we're on the same picture 570 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 5: for a wedding, but I see they commented like each 571 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 5: other's posts all the time. I'm a people pleaser. The 572 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 5: thought of confronting them about my feelings is not an option. 573 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 5: I find myself wanting to keep the peace and slowly 574 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,200 Speaker 5: fade away from this friendship. I know this is normal 575 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 5: with longtime friends. So my question is, how would you 576 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 5: start to remove yourself peacefully? Any tips on how I 577 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 5: could be a better friend. Maybe that's a different option. 578 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: I don't think that you need to put this on yourself. 579 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 2: I think you're wondering if you can be a better 580 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: friend I don't know the ins and outs of everything, 581 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 2: but I think I think it's just natural, especially when 582 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 2: people are not in the same place physically, yeah, where 583 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 2: they can because especially I think when you start going 584 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,679 Speaker 2: you're in that journey, in that season of life of 585 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,159 Speaker 2: having kids, it's very limited time that you have for 586 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 2: yourself to put into your friendships. And if you're taking 587 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 2: that time to spend it with people where you dread 588 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 2: it and you're looking forward to it ending, I don't 589 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 2: think those are your people anymore. And I think that's okay. 590 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:31,919 Speaker 3: Yeah. 591 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: I think that there's so much like emphasis on like 592 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: the you know, the people that you grew up with 593 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: and stay with the people that you grew up with. 594 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: But I think that you grow when you change, and 595 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,439 Speaker 1: it's okay. And like Becka said, I went to college 596 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: and I had a group of best friends, none of 597 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: them live in La now or anywhere near me, and 598 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: they all had got married and had kids right after college, 599 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 1: and I was like doing all my career stuff and 600 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,479 Speaker 1: we just kind of, I don't say grew apart, but 601 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 1: just it just kind of naturally happened. There's no hard 602 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 1: feelings on any other side. It just kind of happens 603 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: and you gravitate to people that are in the same 604 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: season of life as you are, you know, and it 605 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 1: just again there's no hard feelings. You don't have to 606 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: like peacefully remove yourself. It can just happen. You don't 607 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: have to like there's no intention behind it. Just start 608 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,160 Speaker 1: spending more time with other people and like not committing 609 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: to these things and eventually mm hmm, it just makes 610 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: its way. 611 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 5: And also life is long. You may go back, yeah, yeah, 612 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 5: back with these again. But right now it sounds like 613 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 5: this is kind of toxic and not for. 614 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 3: You, and that's okay, yeah, totally okay. 615 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 2: There's there's people. There's so many people in the world, 616 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: and there's so many people that you can give your 617 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 2: time and uh like your time and your outside of 618 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 2: being a mom and a wife, you have yourself and 619 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 2: it's like, where are you spending that time that is 620 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 2: like precious to you at this time and it's not 621 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 2: You don't want it to be with people that don't 622 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:53,920 Speaker 2: make you feel. 623 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: When you're wishing the end of the weekend to come brutal. No, no, no, 624 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,080 Speaker 1: I am not giving them any time. 625 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 2: And I do. There is like a different I think 626 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 2: it's hard when you're the first one to have kids, 627 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 2: because if everyone's not in that season of life yet, 628 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,880 Speaker 2: it does feel you probably feel lonely too, because you're 629 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 2: going through something that they're not going through or can 630 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 2: relate to. Right, And I'm feel like I'm about to 631 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,680 Speaker 2: enter that because I feel like all of you Ali Jojo, 632 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: I feel like all my really good friends are about 633 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 2: to be like pregnant at the same time. And I'm 634 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 2: just gonna be like, I have no idea what you'll 635 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 2: are talking about, but I can't wait to be an aunt. 636 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 2: But you know, I am like, oh, oh, I gotta what. Well, 637 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 2: it is like I'm gonna have to if I. 638 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 3: Want to go to your friends. 639 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 2: No, no, no, not magnant Well, I mean making new 640 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 2: friends is a bad thing, but I'm saying, like, find people. Well, 641 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 2: when you find people who run the same season of 642 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 2: life as you, and like it's like, oh, we want 643 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 2: to go get drinks, I can't be like, let's go 644 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 2: get drinks, but bring my baby. I'm saying, when you're pregnant, 645 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 2: that does. 646 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 3: I'll get a mocktail. Yeah, it's just be in the mix. 647 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 2: I know, I know do that to me. I know 648 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 2: it's y'all all feel the same way. I just won't 649 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 2: tell you. I'll just I'll just do that with other people. 650 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,280 Speaker 2: It is different, though, and it's I think it's okay 651 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 2: to acknowledge it from both sides. Like I think it's 652 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 2: so exciting and like, I literally am so excited that 653 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 2: I'm going to get to be like an aunt to 654 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 2: all of my friend's babies and like go and relieve 655 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 2: you or Ali when when y'all need a break or 656 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 2: like just want to talk about something that's not baby related. 657 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 2: And I cannot wait for that season of life. I'm 658 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,040 Speaker 2: so excited and I'm so excited that I'm going to 659 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 2: get to hold the baby and smell the baby and 660 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 2: then go home to my quiet home. 661 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 4: You know. 662 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 2: But I like look forward to that because I'm at 663 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 2: the age now where I'm not like outraging every night. 664 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,479 Speaker 2: I'm like excited to be a part of that with 665 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 2: y'all without doing it myself. 666 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 5: I can't wait to see who you replaced Tanya with, 667 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 5: and that's gonna be. 668 00:29:53,800 --> 00:30:00,240 Speaker 2: That is so dark replaceable fantasy. She can't be Yeah, 669 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,480 Speaker 2: maybe a fantasy. No, there's no. 670 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,479 Speaker 3: There's no replacing Ty. 671 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 2: What their sign office, It's as good as to be continued. No, 672 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 2: you will never be replaced. 673 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 3: You think that's gonna happen. 674 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 4: That's the show. It's not the Bachelor. 675 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 5: It's the Bestie and you're you're trying to find a 676 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 5: new best friend. I'd watch that show. 677 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not finding a new best friend. I'm not. 678 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 2: Don't worry, all right, I'm not Mark is Mark is 679 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 2: getting you riled up for no reason. Don't let him 680 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,480 Speaker 2: do that to you. Don't let him stir. 681 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: Okay, we like, I'm not going to be fun for 682 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: a minute, so sober fun. I'm so fun sober. Look 683 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: at me right now, I'm so fun. 684 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so fun sober. Nothing about you not being 685 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 2: fun sober. It's about the act of like having like 686 00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: good fun, getting all cute and sexy and going out 687 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 2: having a drink in the barn, just sitting there with heartburn. 688 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 2: And it's like it's like eight, and she's like, I 689 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 2: don't know if I can. 690 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: Stay awake much like I'm already Yeah, why Brami, that's 691 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: for sure. 692 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna see y'all past seven thirty in 693 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: the next few years. 694 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 4: Fortunes on Mama's. 695 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 1: Got I do feel like I'm gonna have people over 696 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: more often, Like I'm gonna host a lot. 697 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's gonna just be like a screw like 698 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 2: we're gonna be like, okay, like we're going over. Let's 699 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 2: go relieve her. She needs us. But y'all are all 700 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 2: gonna be doing at the same time. I'm gonna be 701 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 2: like juggling new moms. True, Hey, can you come over? Sorry, 702 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 2: I'm I booked with Ali. But what about tomorrow? Do 703 00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 2: you have an opening for me? Anymorrow? Was a Puerto Ricoh, okay, 704 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 2: we have one more question, but we'll do that when 705 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 2: we come back. All right, we're back, and this is 706 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 2: our final question. 707 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 5: It's an interesting question because she is a new scrubber 708 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 5: and she has some just very basic questions she has 709 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 5: and maybe this is good. We should do this every 710 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 5: so often for new listeners to the podcast, because I 711 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 5: can't believe a lot of people start from the beginning 712 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 5: in Binge. That seems like a tall order because what 713 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 5: has it been seven years? Yeah, yeah, that's a lot. 714 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 5: That's a lot of episodes, hundreds and hundreds if you 715 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 5: are new, like Lilah is. Lilah says, I've been a 716 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 5: listener since April. I love your team dynamic. A few 717 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 5: questions for you so I can get caught up tyyan Becca. 718 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 5: How did y'all meet and become friends? And we've been 719 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 5: down this road many times. Maybe just did a sentence 720 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 5: or two. 721 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, we met at a iHeart School Farmer party in 722 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 2: Vegas and I went with Robert and his friend Zach 723 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:18,479 Speaker 2: and Tanya loved love Robert and Zach and love. This 724 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,640 Speaker 2: is how you tell her? How you told it. She 725 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 2: was so excited to see them, because she when she 726 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 2: sees people that she knows and love, she just gets 727 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 2: like really excited, Kaylor just a couple of yes, A true. 728 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 3: I left gen Tram feeling very. 729 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was jen and I felt very forgotten him awkward, 730 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,840 Speaker 2: And I would say she wasn't warm to me, but 731 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 2: I say that in a way that she just wasn't 732 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 2: excited to see me because I was with people that 733 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 2: she was really excited to see. 734 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: But we didn't really become besties until we shared a wall. 735 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: So Beca moved into my apartment complex complex. 736 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 4: That was a coincidence or you got her. 737 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: In there, but it was the apartment. Literally we shared 738 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 1: a wall, and that's when I feel like the friendship 739 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 1: really blossomed. That's when I it really took on a 740 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 1: life of its own. Yes, it was like real life friends. 741 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:14,200 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that's when we like really became close and 742 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 2: like we literally lived our lives together because we lived 743 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 2: next door. 744 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,239 Speaker 1: We come home from work and go I wouldn't even 745 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: put my bags down in my apartment. I go to hers, 746 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 1: and I'd just sit there on your like big ball, 747 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 1: your big workouts, like furniture, furniture. 748 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 5: She also wants to know where then was scrubbing incomes from, 749 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 5: which is a fair question because it's really we were 750 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 5: so far away from that original meeting. 751 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 2: The name came from when I started the I originally 752 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 2: started the podcast. Tanya wasn't my co host yet, and 753 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 2: so when I started the podcast, it was supposed to 754 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:55,160 Speaker 2: be almost like a TV show review type podcast, and 755 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: I was so obsessed with Gray's Anatomy at the time, 756 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 2: and I thought it would be a fun play on 757 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,879 Speaker 2: my favorite show to call it scrubbing In. And then 758 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,840 Speaker 2: Tania joined I think four episodes into. 759 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 3: It, something like that, four. 760 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 2: Or five, and I remember we did that podcast and 761 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,880 Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, this is like the dynamic that 762 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 2: I like envisioned this podcast being and the name just stuck. 763 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 3: The rest is history. 764 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 4: Every show is better when Tanya rad has added to it. 765 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 3: And thank you sure, thank you, thank you. 766 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 4: Uh for Tanya. She says that Netflix, that I see 767 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 4: you wrote a book. Can you give a high level 768 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 4: overview of what it's about, how it came to. 769 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 3: Be high level? Let me give you a high level here, 770 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:38,959 Speaker 3: So thank you so much. 771 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 1: The book is called The Sunshine Mind and it is 772 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,879 Speaker 1: a one hundred days to finding the hope, enjoy you want. 773 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: It's a devotional and basically it's bite sized, so there's 774 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,440 Speaker 1: like every day there's a scripture, an analysis, and then 775 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: how it applied. I wrote it with one of my 776 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,680 Speaker 1: best friends, Rackkeel Stevens, and she's one of the people 777 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,799 Speaker 1: in my life where she's like a rock, like that 778 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:58,919 Speaker 1: girl if. 779 00:35:58,840 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 3: I'm going through anything in life. 780 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,839 Speaker 1: It was a lot more early in my career when 781 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,239 Speaker 1: I was dealing with like people that were not nice 782 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: to me in my career, I would always go to 783 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 1: Raquel and like just like unload and she would always 784 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,399 Speaker 1: have like a scripture. She would always have some way 785 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 1: to like find the hope and the joy in situations 786 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,680 Speaker 1: and so she was always my go to when I 787 00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: was going through relationships stuff for dating struggles, Like she 788 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: always had that element, and so I was like, she's 789 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,880 Speaker 1: the perfect person to do this with because she's so 790 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,479 Speaker 1: knowledgeable and I feel like she's that person. I wanted 791 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,319 Speaker 1: that book to be that person for the people that 792 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 1: read it. So it's basically encouragement in your life. It's 793 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 1: focused on family dynamics, friendships, career and and yeah is 794 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:39,400 Speaker 1: that a high level. 795 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 3: Very thank you by the. 796 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 5: Way, you didn't I remember, and I mean to bring 797 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,000 Speaker 5: upset memories, but you didn't make the best selling list. 798 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 5: I know you wanted to have. You kept track of 799 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 5: sales since then? Is it still moving or people still 800 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 5: buying it? 801 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 3: It's still moving. 802 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:55,919 Speaker 1: It did well, like the publishers were happy for first 803 00:36:55,920 --> 00:37:00,399 Speaker 1: time authors, like it did really well. But it's it's 804 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,920 Speaker 1: crazy how much books like just don't sell these days, 805 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,280 Speaker 1: Like it's hard to sell a book. 806 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, if it's the best book, right, So yeah, I 807 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 3: was disappointed. 808 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 4: Stocking stuffer. 809 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,520 Speaker 1: It is a great stocking stuffer, Thank you so much. 810 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 1: And it really wasn't even about like it's not a 811 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: big money maker. It was like something that we really 812 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: felt passionate about and it took a lot of time 813 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: and energy, so we hope it brings you some hope 814 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: and some joy. 815 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 5: And then a question for Becca. You've mentioned your family 816 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,520 Speaker 5: dynamic on the show. I know you have sisters and 817 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 5: with kids and with partners, some with clothes. So when 818 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 5: you travel to how many siblings. 819 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 4: Do you have? 820 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 5: Where do you fall in the birth order, And would 821 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 5: love to hear more about your family dynamic whatever you 822 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:37,480 Speaker 5: feel comfortable sharing. 823 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 2: Yes, I am one of five kids, so I have 824 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,120 Speaker 2: three sisters and a brother, and I am second in 825 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 2: the lineup, so it's two girls, a boy, and then 826 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 2: two girls. My two younger sisters both have girlfriends and 827 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,719 Speaker 2: the three of us are part of the queer community. 828 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 2: And then my brother is married with two kids. My 829 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,239 Speaker 2: older sister is Mary Read with five kids. She has 830 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 2: four boys and a little girl. 831 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,360 Speaker 1: The fact that your brother is married with two kids 832 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:10,040 Speaker 1: is so wild because if you will not remember, early 833 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: in the days of the said podcast, we tried setting 834 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,759 Speaker 1: me up with Becca's brother. 835 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 2: We also would like call him to get like yeah 836 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,760 Speaker 2: and then yeah, that's it. I don't, I don't really 837 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,600 Speaker 2: I talk about my family. I share like photos and 838 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,200 Speaker 2: stuff but I don't really talk about it because I 839 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,520 Speaker 2: a lot of times I don't feel like my family 840 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 2: chose to be a part of this crazy world, like 841 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 2: when I went on The Bachelor and stuff, like, they 842 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 2: didn't sign up to be like in anything public. So 843 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,479 Speaker 2: I've always kind of respected that, like tried to find 844 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:47,399 Speaker 2: that fine line. My sisters when they moved to La 845 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,759 Speaker 2: lived with me, my younger sisters for a period of time, 846 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,360 Speaker 2: and so we have a very close dynamic. And actually 847 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 2: the reason why Tanya came on the podcast was because 848 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,960 Speaker 2: I had my two younger sisters on and I thought 849 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 2: that they would be like really funny and charming and 850 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,560 Speaker 2: like a great guess and they've totally frozen for the microphone. 851 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,839 Speaker 2: But I found out it was because I was asking them, 852 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 2: like what kind of guys they liked, and they're both gay, 853 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,440 Speaker 2: and they were like, we don't even know how to 854 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 2: answer these questions. And so then I brought Tanya on 855 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 2: because I needed to fill in that episode or redo 856 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 2: that episode basically, So that was the beginning of yeah, yeah, 857 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 2: and so yeah, that's about that's about it about me. 858 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 5: And then she says hi, Mark and Easton, and then 859 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 5: there's the end of it. 860 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,360 Speaker 1: It to be continued. It is interesting because it's like 861 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 1: you're right, like, you know the same with me. I mean, 862 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 1: I guess I talk about my family and stuff, but 863 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,360 Speaker 1: like they didn't sign up. They didn't sign up for 864 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 1: any of their personal stuff to be out there. So 865 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,319 Speaker 1: it's like a fine line of like. 866 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I always felt like when I went on 867 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,520 Speaker 2: The Bachelor, I made it to hometowns and I felt 868 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,879 Speaker 2: like the edit of my family made them look very 869 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,120 Speaker 2: it just looked very like cold. I don't know, it 870 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 2: did not represent my family in the way that I 871 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 2: know my family, and I always felt a lot of 872 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,480 Speaker 2: guilt about that because it opened them up to so 873 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 2: many opinions, and so I've always been like, I'm not 874 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 2: going to bring them into that into my world without 875 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,920 Speaker 2: them wanting to be part of it. So I've just 876 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 2: always been cautious of that. 877 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, So I have a question for Lila. 878 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 5: This will be one sided, unfortunately, but I'm curious how 879 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 5: you found scrubbing in and started listening if you don't 880 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 5: know what scrubbing it means and what drew you to 881 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:28,879 Speaker 5: it in the first place. 882 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 2: Raise Our guest in April was Shannon Beverage, our guest, 883 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 2: because it's t to. 884 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 3: Say that feels like a mark question. 885 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 5: I can look it up and tell you exactly what 886 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,399 Speaker 5: was going on in April, but that was you know, 887 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 5: eight to ten episodes. 888 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 4: So we'll see. 889 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:41,919 Speaker 3: I think we could narrow it down. 890 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,200 Speaker 5: We're going to try to figure out what drew Lila 891 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 5: to this podcast in April. 892 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:47,200 Speaker 4: Is that what you're saying? 893 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I'm just like, was there a guess that 894 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,920 Speaker 2: she was like a fan of and then she listened 895 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,360 Speaker 2: to that episode and was like, oh I like this. 896 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 4: Well let's give our theories. Here we go. April fourth, 897 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,320 Speaker 4: Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles. 898 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,400 Speaker 2: Oh, Golden Bachelor interview. 899 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it probably wasn't that one. 900 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 4: April eleventh, Alexia Yumanski. 901 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,919 Speaker 2: That one went viral on TikTok okay. 902 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 3: So that's a contender. There's a contender. 903 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 4: April eighteenth, Ali Grant. 904 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,440 Speaker 2: Oh, she could be an aligrant van. 905 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:25,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, let's see April twenty. April twenty fifth, Rachel Rogers 906 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,120 Speaker 5: talking money, Oh, business and financial expert. 907 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, Liola, We're curious. 908 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,920 Speaker 4: Shannon Bevery was made first, so not quite. April is 909 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 4: very close close. 910 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: But if she found us in April. There's no way 911 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 1: of Shannon that pulled her in. 912 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 5: No, so it could have been late March. It could 913 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:45,600 Speaker 5: have been someone like, say Jason Tarctic on March twenty, 914 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:52,880 Speaker 5: report on March twenty. Okay, okay, Chelsea Blackwell on March eighteenth. 915 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,120 Speaker 5: And here's a contender March fourteenth, with poverty shallow. She's 916 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 5: a survivor fan. That might have brought her. 917 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 2: Into the fur traders. 918 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, give to us, Please get back to us. I 919 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,960 Speaker 3: need to know the answer to this. 920 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 2: All right, Well, we love you so much. Have a 921 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 2: great weekend, and. 922 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:17,480 Speaker 3: He continued, because we're doing it again on Monday. 923 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,440 Speaker 2: To be continue to be continued TBC.