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Speaker 1: I definitely like, Yeah, I have leaned into my what

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Speaker 1: makes me different, and I love myself and I love

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Speaker 1: talking about it to anyone because also the more I

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Speaker 1: get to talk about it, people might be listening and

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Speaker 1: learning things that they've never thought about before.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily Abadi here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and ten of Hurdle,

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Speaker 3: a wellness focused podcast where I connect with everyone from

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Speaker 3: your favorite athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about

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Speaker 3: their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything in between. We

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Speaker 3: all go through hurdles in life, and my goal through

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Speaker 3: these discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours

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Speaker 3: and move with intention so that you can stride towards

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Speaker 3: your own big potential.

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Speaker 2: And of course have some fun along the way.

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Speaker 3: Today, I am so amped to bring you my conversation

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Speaker 3: with Nicki Hilts. They are a professional runner and have

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Speaker 3: a massive announcement recently joining Lululemon as their newest global ambassador.

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Speaker 3: I'm catching up with Niki today for the show. They're

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Speaker 3: telling us all about how that came together and how

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Speaker 3: meaningful it is to them finally having a sponsor that

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Speaker 3: supports their next move Niki tells us about how they

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Speaker 3: went for many months without a sponsor and did a

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Speaker 3: fundraiser of sorts selling track Club T shirts, of which

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Speaker 3: all of the proceeds went to fund their season. Now

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Speaker 3: you may notice that I am using the pronouns they

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Speaker 3: them there, and that is because Nicki is transgender. They

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Speaker 3: came out in twenty twenty one, and we talk about

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Speaker 3: what that was like for them. Last year, Nikki came

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Speaker 3: out for the first time as gay in twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 3: and they talk about how the two experiences were drastically different.

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Speaker 3: The first time that journey a lot more supported, excited,

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Speaker 3: feeling super accepted, whereas last year coming out really felt

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Speaker 3: as though it affected their performance and had some truly

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Speaker 3: difficult mental repercussions as well. Really really excited for this conversation,

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Speaker 3: grateful for Nicky's openness vulnerability. They have so many great

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Speaker 3: takeaways for anyone else who may be in a place

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Speaker 3: where they are confronting either coming out or their gender

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Speaker 3: expression and identity. And I think one of my favorite

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Speaker 3: questions that I ask Nikki in today's episode is how

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Speaker 3: they feel about this being a topic that they speak

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Speaker 3: on so frequently. I bring up the example of Scout Bass,

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Speaker 3: a paralympian who was recently on the show, and how

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Speaker 3: clearly that is one of the things that she talks

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Speaker 3: about so much in her interviews.

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Speaker 2: So bringing that full.

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Speaker 3: Circle to Nicki's circumstance, they get real with me about

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Speaker 3: what it feels like to talk so openly about this

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Speaker 3: specific topic all of the time. Again, huge, huge congrats

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Speaker 3: to Nicki on this new partnership global.

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Speaker 2: Ambassador for Lulu. I'm in such a.

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Speaker 3: Major deal, so excited to see what you do next.

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Speaker 3: Make sure you are subscribed to the weekly Hurdle newsletter,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to interact with fellow hurdlers in

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Speaker 3: the community, We've got an awesome Facebook group for you

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Speaker 3: to do just that.

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Speaker 2: The link to join in is in the show notes.

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Speaker 3: And last, but not least, if you have not yet

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Speaker 3: rated and reviewed the show, it would mean the world

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Speaker 3: to me. Do it in Apple Podcasts or wherever you

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Speaker 3: get your podcasts, tell them why love being a hurdler.

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Speaker 3: One last little bit of housekeeping here. I am excited

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Speaker 3: to announce that I am going to be in Eugene,

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Speaker 3: Oregon for the World Championships of Track and Field this

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Speaker 3: coming July. I've got more details, more info coming to

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Speaker 3: you asap. But if you are going to be there,

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Speaker 3: I want to know, feel free to shoot the Hurdle

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Speaker 3: account a dm over at Hurdle podcast. I'm over at

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Speaker 3: Emily Abodi. I am so excited to post up for

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Speaker 3: the week and to interact with all of you who

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Speaker 3: may be there. I are l and with that, let's

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Speaker 3: get to hurdling.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Nikki Hilts. They're a professional

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Speaker 3: distance runner and the CEO of the Pride five k. Which,

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Speaker 3: how are you feeling right now? Because it's kind of

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Speaker 3: a big day for the pro I had five k.

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Speaker 1: It is it's literally like five minutes ago we opened registration,

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Speaker 1: So is it going bonkers? I put my phone on

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Speaker 1: do not disturb, and you know, I'm just gonna that

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Speaker 1: last year. I remember I opened it and then I

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Speaker 1: just went for a run because I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 1: even want to know. So yeah, I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 1: know one to know if there's like issues logging in,

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Speaker 1: like just don't ignorance is bliss?

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Speaker 2: Well, I have good news. I went to go check

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Speaker 2: it out.

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Speaker 3: I realized in doing so, and maybe you can answer

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Speaker 3: a question that someone listening to this show has the

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Speaker 3: same question. If you are running the Pride five k virtually,

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Speaker 3: which kudos to you, this is the first year that

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Speaker 3: you're having an in person event as well. Super exciting

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Speaker 3: on that. But if you're running it virtually, do you

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Speaker 3: have to run it on October second?

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Speaker 4: That's a great question. Yeah, we haven't set up that way.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of how we've done it the past two years,

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Speaker 1: is on that day, like everyone comes together and runs

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Speaker 1: and posts about it, just so it's one big exciting day.

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Speaker 1: But I mean we have laid around with like making

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Speaker 1: it a week or like, yeah you have a week

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Speaker 1: or ten days to run it, but yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: we're sticking to the just one day, just full send it.

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Speaker 1: Everyone from around the world collectively is going to do

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Speaker 1: it on the same day.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I love this.

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Speaker 3: The only reason I ask is because I'm probably one

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Speaker 3: of the few people listening to this right now that

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Speaker 3: may be running the London Marathon.

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Speaker 2: So can I do like a double dip here?

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Speaker 4: Stop? Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're running a marathon, there's tons of five

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Speaker 1: k's within.

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Speaker 2: A marathon, so totally counts. Yeah, totally totally counts. Okay,

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Speaker 2: good to know.

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Speaker 3: I will register as soon as we get off of

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Speaker 3: this podcast. So tell us why does the Pride five

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Speaker 3: K mean so much to you?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: I mean I feel like it's so fresh in my

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Speaker 1: mind because we've been like making all this content for it.

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Speaker 1: But it just it was just this idea that me

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Speaker 1: and a couple of friends had, like back in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty when the world shut down, and it was just

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Speaker 1: like it's so crazy to look back and think about,

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Speaker 1: Like we're like, yeah, we'll just put on a race,

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Speaker 1: like you know, it's quarantine. People are getting into running,

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Speaker 1: like I really want to raise money for the Trevor Project.

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Speaker 4: Like we'll just do it and see see what happens.

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Speaker 1: And it's so wow to look back now of like

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Speaker 1: it just like we were messing around in my garage

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Speaker 1: in San Diego and like that we were making shirts

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Speaker 1: and stuff and we made that's where we designed the

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Speaker 1: first Pride five K shirt. It's just like so crazy

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Speaker 1: to think, like even that first summer, we had nearly

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Speaker 1: two thousand.

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Speaker 4: People sign up and it was like what is going on?

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Speaker 4: Like this, Oh, this is a thing.

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Speaker 1: You know, people want it, people are excited about this

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Speaker 1: and want to do it and so and then obviously

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Speaker 1: the past two years it's been virtual, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like we've created this community of like like I.

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Speaker 4: Have friendships from this.

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Speaker 1: Like the first year, four people came out, and the

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Speaker 1: next year I was like, Okay, I want to talk

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Speaker 1: to these people, and so we did podcasts with them

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Speaker 1: and I like formed these relationships with them, but I've

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Speaker 1: never I've met one of them in person, but I

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Speaker 1: haven't met the other three. And it's just like I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited to meet them in person and like hug

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Speaker 1: them and like you know, talk to them and run

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Speaker 1: with them. And so it's just I don't even know,

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Speaker 1: there's no words to describe. It's just all good, fuzzy,

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Speaker 1: warm feelings and like to me personally, like I obviously

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Speaker 1: am part of the LGBTQ community, and like for me,

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Speaker 1: just creating that safe space and especially through running to

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Speaker 1: you know, find a place for myself and others within

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Speaker 1: the sport that I love, Like that's what it means

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 4: It's like, you know, it's it's just there's no words.

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Speaker 1: Like.

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Speaker 3: There's no words, and it's it's really just so beautiful

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Speaker 3: the community as you articulated so well that you've built

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Speaker 3: through this and the community that you've cultivated through the

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Speaker 3: way that you communicate on social media.

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Speaker 2: On social media, we have been able to.

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Speaker 3: Follow along as you've gone through so much change. Also

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Speaker 3: during this time last spring, you came out as transgender

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Speaker 3: non binary.

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Speaker 2: You also moved to flag Staff.

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Speaker 3: For so many people, change can be really, really difficult, and.

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Speaker 2: It seems to be something that at.

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Speaker 3: Least on the surface, you're making it seem like you

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Speaker 3: are okay with Is that true?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good question.

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Speaker 1: I mean, change, no matter what is hard, Like even

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Speaker 1: if it's good change, right, You're like you have to

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Speaker 1: adjust and your body and your mind and hearts, like

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Speaker 1: what's going on? But yeah, I think I've just kind

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Speaker 1: of with every decision I made throughout my career, I

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Speaker 1: kind of just go with my gut, and like I

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Speaker 1: think my gout was just pulling me to the mountains,

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Speaker 1: like and then yeah, of course, with like coming out,

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Speaker 1: it was like I'm ready for this. I finally have

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Speaker 1: you know, the proper language to accurately articulate what I've

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Speaker 1: been experiencing with my gender my whole life. And so

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm ready, And yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: I just kind of go with my gut and make changes.

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Speaker 1: Like in college, I transferred schools after two years and like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not someone that shies away from change.

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Speaker 3: I guess that's someone who shies away from change. And

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Speaker 3: you mentioned even you yourself having to get to a

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Speaker 3: place where you felt as though you have the language

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Speaker 3: to express how you.

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Speaker 2: Feel what's going on.

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Speaker 3: I know there has been some conversation and you even

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Speaker 3: comment on it recently on your social navigating other people

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Speaker 3: also kind of having to go through the motions and

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Speaker 3: understand how to speak correctly using your correct pronouns. Talk

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Speaker 3: a little bit about what that process has been like

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Speaker 3: for you, because I know at times towing the starting line,

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Speaker 3: when someone's saying, all right, ladies, are you ready to go?

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Speaker 3: It definitely doesn't feel super homey.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, definitely not affirming. Yeah, it's it's so funny.

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Speaker 1: I mean every race it's like okay, ladies, listen up,

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Speaker 1: ladies like ladies on your mark, and it's just like

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Speaker 1: why are officials obsessed with that word? And it's like runners,

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Speaker 1: like it's such a quick fix to or like athletes,

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Speaker 1: you know, But yeah, It really does come back to

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Speaker 1: like the language we use, and like just changing our

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Speaker 1: words can help dramatically in making someone feel safe and

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Speaker 1: affirmed in their gender. And like that's been something that

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Speaker 1: I myself have had to like learn and unlearn, and

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Speaker 1: so I do feel like I have kind of a

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Speaker 1: great deal of empathy for those still slipping up and

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Speaker 1: saying you know, defaulting to she her instead of the them.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I do have because it's something I.

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Speaker 1: Had to learn too, right, Like I had to unlearn

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Speaker 1: everything I've ever learned about gender and like, you know,

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Speaker 1: really dive deep into what it means to be gender fluid.

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Speaker 1: Like I the more I learn and like learn about

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Speaker 1: myself and grow, It's like I think that there's as

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Speaker 1: many genders as there are people on earth, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think it's such a fluid thing, and like just

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Speaker 1: these two boxes of like male and female feel so

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Speaker 1: like limiting and constricted and like, yeah, so I think

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Speaker 1: right now I'm kind of just in a space where

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Speaker 1: where I'm learning and I want to share my learning

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Speaker 1: with others, and yeah, and then also you know, have

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Speaker 1: empathy for when people mess up, but like also kind

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Speaker 1: of call them out and be like it's important that

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Speaker 1: we get this right. It's important that we make space

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Speaker 1: for people, and you know that we try.

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Speaker 3: Even owning up and saying that you went through a

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Speaker 3: period where you had to kind of better understand it

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Speaker 3: as well, that takes vulnerability, that takes you coming from

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Speaker 3: a place of understanding that maybe others don't approach it with.

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Speaker 3: So even coming from that lens, I think is really respectable.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no, for sure.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I think it's also when it comes

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Speaker 1: to like understanding something versus like having compassion or empathy

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Speaker 1: for it. It's like I think people if they don't

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Speaker 1: understand it, they're like.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: They're like I don't get it. And it's like you

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Speaker 1: don't actually need to have comprehension for something to have

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Speaker 1: compassion for it, right, Like if someone's telling you, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I know, like my birth name is Dominique, for example,

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Speaker 1: but I've never gotten by Dominique. I've always been Nicki,

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Speaker 1: But like.

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Speaker 2: You, who picked NICKI?

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Speaker 4: I don't know? Well, more question is who picked Dominique?

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Speaker 4: If you were just.

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Speaker 1: I think that was my dad. But my dad got

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Speaker 1: to name me, but I don't know. It's kind of like, hey, Okay.

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Speaker 1: If I had a substitute teacher right and be like

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Speaker 1: Dominiqe Kilts, and I would just raise my hand and

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Speaker 1: be like, I go by Nikki and then it was

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Speaker 1: like okay, and then that was it.

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Speaker 4: And it's kind of like the same thing now.

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Speaker 1: It's like she heard's like, actually I want to use

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Speaker 1: say them like those are my new pronouns, and and

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Speaker 1: it should be like, oh, okay, cool, you know, not

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Speaker 1: like I don't understand why you want to be called

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Speaker 1: but or I don't understand why you want to be

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Speaker 1: called Nikki.

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Speaker 4: Your name's Dominique. It's like no.

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Speaker 1: It's like people can change and like ask to be

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Speaker 1: called something that they feel affirmed in. You know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I that's a really helpful and great illustrative example.

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Speaker 3: I would say, I love. It's like you wouldn't ask

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Speaker 3: me why, you just be like okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and be like, oh, you don't you

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Speaker 1: look like a Rebecca or something.

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Speaker 2: It's like that it's not my name, but that's not it.

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Speaker 2: That's not it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, let's wind it back a little bit here

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Speaker 3: to get people that might be listening to this right

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Speaker 3: now a little bit more understanding of your journey to

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Speaker 3: get to this point. So you have been running for

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Speaker 3: quite some time, but your love for running actually started

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Speaker 3: on sand is that correct?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I'm from Santa Cruz, California. So it's like

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Speaker 1: a small, you know, central coast town, and there's this

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Speaker 1: program called Junior Guards where a bunch of beaches in

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Speaker 1: California basically basically every beach like in the summer has

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Speaker 1: a has a junior guard program. And so I did

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Speaker 1: guards like you could. The first year you can do

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Speaker 1: it is when you're six years old, and my first

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Speaker 1: year I was seven, And yeah, it's where I fell

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Speaker 1: in love with running, but it also definitely really ties

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Speaker 1: into my gender identity journey. So I have an older sister,

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Speaker 1: Mikayla shout out, she's the best. She's two years older

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Speaker 1: than me. And so when I was I was like

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Speaker 1: what five, mikail was seven, she was doing guards, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, the next year, like I'll be six,

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Speaker 1: like I'll be able to do it.

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Speaker 4: But I I didn't want to wear when.

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Speaker 1: I was six and I could finally do guards, I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to wear the girl's bathing suit. And it's

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Speaker 1: like that's all I saw on the beach, right, I

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Speaker 1: saw like little girls wearing one.

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Speaker 4: Pieces and two pieces and then.

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Speaker 1: Like the boys wearing board shorts, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to wear that, but I really want

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Speaker 1: to do this, and so like I didn't. I sat

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Speaker 1: out that summer because it was more important to me

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Speaker 1: to feel like myself than like to do something in

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Speaker 1: like literally just like clothing right that I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to wear. And so the next year, I remember we

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Speaker 1: were in the O'Neil surf shop, like picking out the

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Speaker 1: red bathing suit and there's like the boy section, girl section,

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Speaker 1: and I'm with my mom and sister, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I see these like board shorts and like a rash guard,

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Speaker 1: which is basically just a T shirt that is waterproof

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Speaker 1: that you can wear. And I was like, Mom, if

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Speaker 1: I wear like these board shorts and rash guards, like

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Speaker 1: can I do guards too?

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Speaker 4: And she was like of course.

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Speaker 1: And so like that summer, seven year old Nikki just

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Speaker 1: like walked on the beach and like in my rash

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Speaker 1: guard and shorts and like short hair, baseball cap and

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Speaker 1: just like fell in love with running, you know, playing

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Speaker 1: played in the ocean on the sand with like all

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Speaker 1: my best friends, and yeah, I guess that's where my

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Speaker 1: running journey started. And also it was like I didn't

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Speaker 1: see a space for myself, so I've made one, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I feel like that has kind of been a

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Speaker 1: theme for mine for the past year of like I

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Speaker 1: don't really see anyone that looks like me in track

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Speaker 1: and field, or like I don't see anyone using data

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Speaker 1: and pronouns, but like I'm just gonna do it because

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Speaker 1: like I know that that's me, and like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like this has been a theme in different

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Speaker 3: instances lately and a lot of the conversations that I've

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Speaker 3: been having, it's like, in.

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Speaker 2: Order to see them, sometimes you have to be them.

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Speaker 3: And so you may not have had these individuals to

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Speaker 3: look to in the sport of track and field coming

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Speaker 3: up just yet, but now younger athletes are going to

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Speaker 3: see you and envision that they too could toe the

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Speaker 3: line despite maybe themselves being fluid with their gender.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And I think that's that's what definitely motivates

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Speaker 1: me to keep going of like, and that's the power

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Speaker 1: of representation too, Like, you know, there's so many I

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Speaker 1: think it's something like twenty percent of gen Z identifies

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Speaker 1: as something other than straight. And it's not because all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden there's this gay gene that gen Z has.

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, there's there's representation now and people can

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Speaker 1: see themselves represented in all aspects and yeah, no, it's

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Speaker 1: It's definitely something that's really important to me.

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Speaker 3: It's interesting also that you mentioned not quite feeling comfortable

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Speaker 3: with the outfit or the bathing suit situation. Can we

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Speaker 3: apply that to running uniforms and how maybe you've had

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Speaker 3: to think about that or reshape your views on that

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Speaker 3: over time.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, I think it's it's very so I obviously

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Speaker 1: went through the NC double A and then now I'm

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Speaker 1: a professional runner. And what I hate the most about

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Speaker 1: it is like what like in college we got there

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Speaker 1: was not there was an options. It was like okay,

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Speaker 1: buns and like this singlet, and it was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: can we get split shorts? Can we get like other things?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: And then I think finally like we did or like

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Speaker 1: we did have that option, but I know like other

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Speaker 1: schools out there, Like I've gotten messages from people that

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Speaker 1: are like my school only like makes me wear buns

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Speaker 1: and like that's not comfortable for me, and like I'm

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Speaker 1: like we need to change that because like the so

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Speaker 1: much of track and field, and like sport in general,

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Speaker 1: is about how your confidence and your mentality and like,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you're if you're feeling powerful, like you're

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Speaker 1: going to perform well, and like so much of that

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Speaker 1: comes back to like clothing and like what you feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable in. And yeah, I think I love having options

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Speaker 1: and I love like, Okay, some days I want to

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Speaker 1: wear a crop top in buds, but like other days

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Speaker 1: I want to wear looseling and split shorts. Some days

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Speaker 1: I want to wear like the biker shorts.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like I love having because my gender is so fluid,

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Speaker 1: I want and need like my closet to be fluid

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Speaker 1: in that way as well.

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Speaker 3: When did you come to and understanding that this was

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Speaker 3: going to be something that you were going to share

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Speaker 3: with your firstly immediate circle and then broader than that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 1: It was honestly like twenty twenty, like I think that,

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Speaker 1: you know, my running was stopped like so many other things,

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Speaker 1: like you know, the season got canceled, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like I had the time and space and energy to

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Speaker 1: like honor my gender identity and ways I hadn't before.

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Speaker 1: And honestly, it was like through TikTok. I got a

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Speaker 1: TikTok like at the beginning of the pandemic, and like

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Speaker 1: the for you page like really says for you, right,

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Speaker 1: I was getting all these like trans like creators and

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Speaker 1: like non binary, and that's where I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is That's where I discovered the language. Like it's

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Speaker 1: so crazy that just this like social media platform was

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Speaker 1: where I kind of, you know, first heard it and

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Speaker 1: then I did my own research and I was like

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Speaker 1: that's me, Like oh my gosh, this is me. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean my girlfriend, Emma Gee is like incredible and

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Speaker 1: we were getting to know each other that summer of

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty and and like she if anyone that knows Emma,

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Speaker 1: like she just asked questions, and she asked like really

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Speaker 1: good questions, and she's like like very early on it

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Speaker 1: was just like, so, what's your gender, Like what's your

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Speaker 1: journey with that? And like we just kind of went

411
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: there like and we got deep and like it was

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Speaker 1: just really easy for me to open up about it

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Speaker 1: and talk about it. And then after talking with her,

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Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, I want to do that again.

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Speaker 1: But with like my friends and my family, and so

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Speaker 1: I did. And then once I felt safe enough with them,

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm ready to come out because

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Speaker 1: no matter what happens, I have my people and they

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Speaker 1: have my back. And so anyone that's you know, queer,

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Speaker 1: I think can can attest. It's that it's like this

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Speaker 1: journey that's not just this one you come out one

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00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 1: day and then it's over, right, It's like a continuous thing,

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Speaker 1: and like for me, that was kind of like my

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Speaker 1: process with it.

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Speaker 2: Two things to double click on.

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Speaker 3: The first thing is I love how on this journey

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Speaker 3: of exploration you took small hurdles to get to the

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Speaker 3: place where you are ready to chat about it on

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Speaker 3: a big scale. That really demonstrates the importance of really

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00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 3: feeling confident in where you are and how you feel

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00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 3: before you use something that's going on in your life

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Speaker 3: to maybe help somebody else. Because if you don't feel

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Speaker 3: at peace or cool or ready to fully dive into

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00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 3: it and answer questions and that makes you feel frazzled,

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00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 3: then sharing it isn't going to help you, not until

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Speaker 3: you're truly on that page. So I really love how

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Speaker 3: you exemplified what your journey looked like, because I think

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Speaker 3: that's a really important point.

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00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely.

440
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 2: And then the.

441
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 3: Second thing really that I have a question about then

442
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 3: is you came out in twenty sixteen. Talk to me

443
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: about the difference between coming out in twenty sixteen and

444
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: announcing where.

445
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 2: You were with your gender later on.

446
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I kind of publicly came out twenty sixteen. Yeah,

447
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: and it was definitely scary. Like I was going to

448
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: school in Arkansas, you know, I'm from California, Like it was,

449
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: you know, I had a girlfriend and I wanted to

450
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: like post about her and like like all my you know,

451
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 1: straight teammates were posted about their partners. I was like,

452
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: I want to do this too, and it was just

453
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 1: like I was kind of like we're talking about I

454
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,719
Speaker 1: was ready. So I did it, and like it was

455
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 1: it was like incredible the weight that was lifted off

456
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: of me. Like, you know, I told my parents and

457
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: they were like so supportive, and they were also like, duh,

458
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: we've known. And then I like told you know, teammates

459
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 1: obviously new and like it was just really cool to

460
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: have that support. And I think it's because I wasn't

461
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 1: like expecting yet ever since then I was like I

462
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: want to keep coming out like this is incredible, Like

463
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: having those vulnerable conversations with people, like it allowed me

464
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 1: to be vulnerable with them and then them to.

465
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 4: Be vulnerable with me back. I think it just.

466
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: Created such strong connections to people in my life, and yeah,

467
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: I really wasn't getting like pushed back from it, and

468
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: so yeah, that made me happy, right Like I'm yeah,

469
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 1: it was this really authentic thing that I was sharing

470
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: and then I was getting like support from it, and

471
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: then you know, my running also took off, and I

472
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: don't think that was a coincidence, right, Like it felt

473
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: like this weight was lifted and I could finally like

474
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: be myself. And so I think that I was kind

475
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: of thinking the same thing when I was going to

476
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: come out about my gender identity. I was like, Oh,

477
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: it's gonna be the same thing, Like I'm going to

478
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: get all this support, like I'm going to be like

479
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: light as a feather on the track, like let's do this.

480
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: And I think if we look at just pull it

481
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: where our country was in twenty sixteen versus like now

482
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: it's it's and in those two things right like sexuality

483
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: and trans being, like gender identity, it's so so crazy

484
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 1: like that we were almost more progressive back then, Like

485
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: I remember twenty was it twenty fifteen gay marriage got

486
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: legalized and like yeah, so when I came out twenty sixteen,

487
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: it was like yeah, like that's awesome. And then if

488
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: you look at in I came out in March twenty

489
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: twenty one and like get a new way of twenty

490
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 1: twenty one is when it like all the anti trans

491
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: bills started, and it was just kind of this fear

492
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: amongst like a bunch of states and politicians that it

493
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: was like trans people are going to take over and

494
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: like ruin our you know, society that we've built, and

495
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: like so when I came out, I think there was

496
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 1: like people saw the word transgender and there was just

497
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 1: like fear and they were like upset about it. And

498
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: then especially the fact that I'm an athlete, They're like no, no, no,

499
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: And it was very jarring, I would say, the response,

500
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: because I mean there was a ton of like support

501
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: and that was incredible too, but I think I just

502
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: wasn't prepared for like the pushback that came. I was like, oh, whoa,

503
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: Like we're not ready for this, Like yeah, so very

504
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: different coming out stories, but Yeah.

505
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 2: Can you talk a little bit about what some of

506
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: that pushback was like?

507
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.

508
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: Definitely like confusing because I think, like and I also

509
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: really tried not to look at it, but it was

510
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: just when you're tagged and things, you know, you're like what.

511
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 4: Is this and you read it, You're like, I didn't

512
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 4: need to read that.

513
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 1: But it was like things were like, oh, well that's

514
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: not fair, Like Nikki's going to be on testosterone now,

515
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: and it's like when did I say that? Like, or

516
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: it's like I think there was an article that came

517
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: out they talked about on the broadcast at the Olympic Trials,

518
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: like Nicky Hillt's transgender, and people literally thought that I.

519
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: I was like, they saw me, they saw they were

520
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 1: trans under they saw Nikki, and they saw like competing

521
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: in the woman's fifteen hundred, and they thought I was

522
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: like a trans woman and they were like you're a man,

523
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: like you know, just like all the terrible backlash that

524
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: like trans woman have to face. I was like, oh whoa,

525
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm not a trans woman. Like it's it

526
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: was just confusing because I was like people are taking

527
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: see this word or see this whatever, and they're applying

528
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: something to it that's like not accurate, and so I

529
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: felt like there was kind of this weight on me

530
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: to be, Okay, I need to explain this, I need

531
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: to overexplain myself. I need to be like I literally

532
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: I'm just myself. I'm just asking to be called referred

533
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 1: to as they them like not she heard, you know.

534
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: And it felt kind of exhausting to like kind of

535
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: have that pressure on to you know, be the one

536
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: to educate everyone around me. And it was definitely like heavy,

537
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: like it was the opposite of what I was expecting.

538
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 4: Like I felt like I was like there was this

539
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 4: weight on me.

540
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 2: Do you still feel that weight on you? Yeah?

541
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 4: It definitely like comes goes.

542
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: I think, you know, being a year now out is

543
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 1: I like I feel like I'm in such a better place,

544
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: Like I've you know, high fad tools to like deal

545
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: with things, like I've meditated a lot that it's like

546
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: it's just a feeling like it's going to pass. And

547
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 1: like I've also reframed it as like what an opportunity

548
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: to educate people or like we were talking about, like

549
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: what an opportunity to be that representation for you know,

550
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: a little trans kid growing up who likes to watch track, Like,

551
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: I've definitely had to reframe things and do a lot

552
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: of work to like undo the anxiousness that happens when

553
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, I think I think it's just a journey.

554
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: And I also am like I'm so happy that I'm out,

555
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: you know, It's like I can't imagine.

556
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 4: Still being in the closet about this.

557
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: Like even though the yes people get my pronouns wrong

558
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: or people are ignorant or like don't understand, It's like

559
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm actually so much happier, like for the people that

560
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: do get it right, Like I can be myself in

561
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: front of like my teammates, my coach, my girlfriend, my family.

562
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: Like it's like that's what's worth it.

563
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 4: To me every time.

564
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love

565
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 3: to my sponsors, these two, specifically my summer must have

566
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 3: starting with Element. Element, for those of you who are

567
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 3: new to the show or maybe just haven't heard about

568
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 3: it before, is a tasty electrolyte drink mix with everything

569
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: you need and nothing you don't, which means a lot

570
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Speaker 3: of salt and no sugar. Since I started using Element

571
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 3: about two years ago, I feel so much better when

572
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: I am out for my long bike rides when it

573
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 3: comes to my hydration to even just going about my

574
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 3: regular workday.

575
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: And that's because it is so so.

576
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 3: Important that we make sure to pay attention to what's

577
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,160
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578
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 3: the primary electrolyte that is lost is sodium, and athletes

579
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,480
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580
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581
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582
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583
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584
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585
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586
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587
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588
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589
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590
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591
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595
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596
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,960
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597
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598
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599
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600
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601
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602
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603
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604
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606
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607
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608
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609
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610
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611
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614
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619
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620
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 2: This is an important conversation.

621
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 3: Obviously, we've spent a little chunk of time talking about

622
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: gender and coming out and your story thus far. I

623
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: recently had Scout Bassett on the podcast, and as you know,

624
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 3: she is a Paralympic athlete, and I asked Scout when

625
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 3: we started speaking, I said, does it bother you that

626
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 3: this is one of the first things that people want

627
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 3: to talk to you about? And so I'll pose that

628
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 3: to question to you right now. Does it bother you

629
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 3: that a lot of times when you speak to someone,

630
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 3: whether it's me on a podcast or maybe even someone

631
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 3: you walk by on the street, they want to talk

632
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 3: to you about coming out and your gender identity.

633
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 4: Oh that's a good question.

634
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: I don't know if bother is the right word, but

635
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: it's definitely like I have to prepare for it, and

636
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: like I know, like I know that my competitors, don't

637
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: you know, or like whenever when I finish a race,

638
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: like I know the media like indoors.

639
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 2: You know.

640
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 4: I was wearing Protect Trans Kids logo.

641
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: And I was just like, like, I know that when

642
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: I cross the line, my interview is not going to

643
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: be about how I did.

644
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 4: It's going to be about like what I'm wearing and what.

645
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: I stand for and who I am, which it's kind

646
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: of cool to me, Like I think I part, yes,

647
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: part of me could be like woe is me? But

648
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: like I lean into it, you know, I like that.

649
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: I definitely like, yeah, I have leaned into my what

650
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: makes me different? And I love myself and I love

651
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: talking about it to anyone because also the more I

652
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: get to talk about if people might be listening and

653
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: learning things that they've never thought about before or like,

654
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: but I think what would bother me is if is

655
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: if they just stopped there, you know, if they didn't

656
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: try to get to know me as an athlete or person.

657
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: Right it was just like tell me about your advocacy

658
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: or you know, let's talk about it here. But it

659
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: always in podcasts, like we always you know, I'm a

660
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: whole person, and.

661
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 4: I feel like we always cover it. So yeah, that's

662
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 4: a great question though.

663
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:22,839
Speaker 2: Oh well, thank you Nikki for you mentioned the frustration.

664
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 3: Maybe that came hand in hand with feeling that you

665
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 3: became That's what this came became about for you in

666
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 3: twenty twenty one after coming out, and obviously twenty twenty

667
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 3: one also a year for the Olympics.

668
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 2: Let's talk a little bit about how.

669
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 3: That frustration, how you navigated that frustration after showing up

670
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: on the track and competing.

671
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 2: What was that like for you?

672
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 4: Oh, it's hard. It was really hard.

673
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: I think I'm not someone I've never been an athlete

674
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: who can like kind of hide what's going on off

675
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,439
Speaker 1: of the track. Like, whatever is happening in my life

676
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: off of the track, it's always going to translate onto it,

677
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: and like that can be my greatest gift and superpower

678
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: of like I'm an incredible place in my life and

679
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 1: I feel really supported and affirmed and happy and like

680
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: I'm going.

681
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 4: To run insanely well because of this.

682
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: And then the other way it's like, oh I have

683
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: all this fear, I'm uncertain, people hate me like boom.

684
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 4: Of course, like.

685
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: As soon as it gets hard, that's going to like

686
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: hit you. So yeah, it was very much hard to

687
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: kind of go through that, be in that space in

688
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: life and then also try to perform.

689
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 4: But yeah, I, like I've said, I've been like working

690
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 4: through it.

691
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in such a better place now,

692
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: and like it kind of sucks that like that had

693
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: to happen in such an important year in season. But yeah,

694
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 1: I mean I also as an athlete that like learns

695
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: from my mistake, So I don't even know if it's

696
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: a mistake, but like we're always learning and growing and

697
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 1: like figuring out ways to be better.

698
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 4: So yeah, but it was. It was last year was rough.

699
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 3: What did you do tell to recover from the brunt

700
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 3: of this overwhelm and not getting the performance that you

701
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 3: had hoped for.

702
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: I've definitely like re Like I feel like I just

703
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: keep saying reframe, but like it's such a good word

704
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 1: of like I'm reframing, like I kind of went back

705
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: to like my roots of like Okay, I started this

706
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: sport because I loved it and it was so fun

707
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: for me, and so I'm just going to bring that

708
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: attitude every day to like practice like this. I'm not

709
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: going to be so outcome oriented. I'm going to be

710
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 1: like daily oriented and I'm like, am I having fun?

711
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 4: Like you know?

712
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: And I think that's like kind of been my attitude

713
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two and it's just been awesome, Like I

714
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: feel like when before the race even starts, I've already won, right,

715
00:36:55,960 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: Like I live in the mountains, a beautiful Like I

716
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: get to go to practice every day and run with

717
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: like my best friends. I have an incredible dog and

718
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: girlfriend and like and I get to go run and

719
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: I'm at work, you know, like I've already won.

720
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

721
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 3: I also hear in what you're saying this lesson that

722
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 3: my life coach talks to me about all the time,

723
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 3: which is asking yourself, why is something happening this way

724
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 3: for me, even when it's not how I wished it

725
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 3: would happen, And sometimes it takes me a minute to

726
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 3: you know, accept why it's happening this way for me.

727
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,800
Speaker 3: Things are happening for you in a way that sometimes

728
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 3: you just kind of have to like throw your hands

729
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 3: up in the air and be like, well this is

730
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 3: how it is now.

731
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also like removing the like it's it might

732
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: not even be about you, right, Like if you go

733
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: to get coffee and they're like out of coffee. You know,

734
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 1: you get so easy to oh my day, like this

735
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 1: ruined my day or like me, but it's like, actually

736
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: that has nothing to do with you. There, that's just

737
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: like the supply chain of this coffee, Like you.

738
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 3: Know what I mean, Like, don't make it about you

739
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 3: exactly Damn's coffee supply chain fair fair. So now we

740
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 3: started this podcast talking a lot about change, and you

741
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,280
Speaker 3: are no stranger to it. You have a new change

742
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 3: this episode coming out after you make a big announcement.

743
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 2: Do you want to talk about what that announcement might be?

744
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm so so excited. I can't believe we haven't

745
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 4: talked about it yet here we are.

746
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 2: I know we've been covering a lot of ground here.

747
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm so excited to like announce and like finally

748
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 1: be official as like Blue Lemons. Yeah, most recent global ambassador.

749
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: It's it's so exciting. It's like the dream brand, you know.

750
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: And yeah, I can't believe, Like I I don't honestly

751
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: like couldn't believe it when it was like when I

752
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: had my first room call with them, I was like, wait, is.

753
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 4: This really happening?

754
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess that's that's the t's the that's

755
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 1: the news news.

756
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 3: Well, I do have to tell you that I own

757
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 3: a track club T shirt.

758
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 4: Ah yay.

759
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 3: Can we talk a little bit about where you are

760
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 3: now versus where you were when you were making that

761
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 3: T shirt and with the story of the T shirt.

762
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, totally.

763
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: So my contract was up at the end of twenty

764
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: twenty one and going into like a new year, I had, Yeah,

765
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: I just had opportunity to make a change, and I

766
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: was like, I want to do that. But there was

767
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: also obviously like contracts, it's not like January first, here's

768
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 1: a contract and like there you go. It's it's you know,

769
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 1: it's a lot of negotiating. It's a lot of like

770
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: brands are figuring out their budget or whatever for whatever reason.

771
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: It's it's not a very timely thing sometimes. And so

772
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm in limbo right now, and

773
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,320
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to be in limbo for a while,

774
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: and so I you know, I'm like I it was

775
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: it was definitely scary, kind of like being like I

776
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: don't have an income, right, Like I.

777
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 4: Don't have a sponsor anymore, Like how am I going

778
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 4: to do this? And so I've.

779
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: Always wanted to like have my own merch and like

780
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 1: sponsorships don't like allow that, or at least.

781
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 4: My last one didn't.

782
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh my gosh, now I can,

783
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 1: and so I was like I'm going to sell these

784
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: shirts and I don't know, maybe like my mom will

785
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: buy one and like my grandma. Like I was like

786
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: maybe I'll sell two, like who knows. And I just

787
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 1: kind of threw it up on my story like hey,

788
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 1: I'm unsponsored. If you want to help like a queer

789
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: athlete out like while they navigate this time, like buy

790
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: a Prack Club shirt, and it just kind of like

791
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: blew up and it was just so awesome.

792
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,360
Speaker 4: I felt like I was kind of in a dark place.

793
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 1: Of like I honestly kind of want to quit this

794
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: for it, Like you know, part of me was like,

795
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: no one's making you do this. You don't have to

796
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 1: do this anymore, and like that was honestly like tempting

797
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: at times. But I think something deep inside me was like,

798
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: no people care about you, and you also care about this,

799
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: you know, like kind of pushing back on that doubt.

800
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 1: And so that selling those shirts, like I just like

801
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: resurrected by like hope in this sport and like, you know,

802
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 1: all these people that were like willing to support me

803
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 1: when like no brand could or would. It was like

804
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: incredible and like I will always like if every time

805
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: I see a track Club shirt. I'll just be like

806
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: so happy because I'm like, Okay, you were my sponsor

807
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 1: for like six months, Like you supported me, you you

808
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: wanted me to keep going, and like, yeah, it was

809
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: just incredible. I'm so so grateful for everyone that's that's

810
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: bought a shirt.

811
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 3: What I love about this story is you opening up

812
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 3: about how you really felt completely.

813
00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: Down and out, so down and out.

814
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 3: That you debated to completely leave something that had at

815
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 3: one point given you so much joy. And I think

816
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 3: that that is a story in one way or another

817
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 3: that a lot of people listening to this right now

818
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 3: can really really relate to. So what did you lean

819
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 3: into or what did you do when you were in

820
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 3: the thick of that hurdle moment of sorts to realign yourself.

821
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 3: I mean, aside from the fact that you had eventually

822
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,439
Speaker 3: all these great people supporting you, that's not the case

823
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 3: all the time. So how were you kind of giving

824
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 3: back to you to hopefully get through that rut?

825
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, that's a good question.

826
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: I Mean I was like, when I think about brands

827
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: and like the kind of space I was in of like, Okay,

828
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 1: if I have to work with a brand that is

829
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: so determined on like your performances and like if you

830
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: don't make the team, you're reduced or like dropped or

831
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: you know, like I don't want to do this, Like

832
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: that's not why I signed up to do this, like

833
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 1: I And so that like walking away from resigning with

834
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 1: like a brand like that was scary because it was

835
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: like I, I don't know, like this doesn't feel I

836
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: want to do this, but I don't want to do

837
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,280
Speaker 1: it that way, you know, And so I was really

838
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: holding on hope that there would be a brand out

839
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 1: there that saw my value on the track and off

840
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: of the track, and like I was like, I think

841
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: that there's one out there, you know, and like the

842
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: people in my life, like my coach Macfleet at the time,

843
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: was like there definitely is one, like you know, and

844
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 1: like my girlfriend was like yes, like you know, just

845
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: like it might be a little you might have to

846
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: be a little patient.

847
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 4: But like I think it's going to happen.

848
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: And like, so I think I would say leaning into

849
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 1: the people like and then also holding onto that hope

850
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: of like I know that there's a brand out there

851
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: that that values the same things I do. And so yeah,

852
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 1: I think I think it was just kind of really

853
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,399
Speaker 1: leaning in the hope, and then I.

854
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 4: Was also still running, like running has.

855
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: Always been my escape and safe space, even if like

856
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: maybe the track and field industry sometimes doesn't feel safe

857
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: or like just simply going on a run though, will

858
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: always like resent to me and ground me. And so

859
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: you know, I never like stopped running, like I continue

860
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: to train, and like I think it was just kind

861
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: of thoughts of doubts of like, wow, I really could quit,

862
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 1: you know, no one's holding me.

863
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 4: To this anymore.

864
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think also like it really I was like,

865
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 1: no one is making me do this, but I still

866
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 1: want to do this, So like that's a good sign.

867
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 2: That's a good sign. I'm gonna pivot a little bit.

868
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 3: And this question might be a little controversial, but I'm

869
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 3: actually really interested in your feedback on it. You know,

870
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: lula'man included a lot of brands making and designing sneakers

871
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 3: specifically built around a woman's foot.

872
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 2: Right now, how does that make you feel? Like, what

873
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: do you cause?

874
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 3: Obviously anatomically it makes sense, but I'm just kind of

875
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 3: curious about how you feel about the fact that like

876
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,320
Speaker 3: this kind of category is something that's like really buzzy

877
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 3: and tech at the moment, No.

878
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 4: I think it's I think it's incredible.

879
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: Like I think that I'm never gonna as someone who's

880
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 1: gender fluid and like doesn't identify as a woman, I'm

881
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: still never I always feel, I guess, really affirmed in

882
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 1: spaces that are centered around inclusivity, and like that was

883
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: the whole goal around making a shoe for a woman's foot, right,

884
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: it was like, this doesn't happen, right, all of our

885
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: sizing is based on men's products, Like, right, we're gonna

886
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 1: make a woman's shoe first and then the men's will

887
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: come later. Like that's they're gonna have to figure out, Right,

888
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: We're always trying to figure out, Okay, well what size

889
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: am I in a men's And it's like a man

890
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: has never had to do that, Like, you know, it's incredible,

891
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: and so I think that it's a great thing. And

892
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: as someone who hads a litlement's foot, I'm like, this

893
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: is sick.

894
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,760
Speaker 3: And while we're on the topic of lu La meandear,

895
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 3: you have to let us know what your favorites are

896
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:58,240
Speaker 3: at the moment.

897
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, the like sense and it stuff is incredible.

898
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: Like, I I think product for me is always something

899
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: that like I don't I want it to be like

900
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 1: so comfortable.

901
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 4: They don't want to like even think about it, and

902
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 4: like right, like I don't even want.

903
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 1: To notice it's there, like and I feel like the

904
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: sense of that stuff is like that it's like it's tight,

905
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 1: like it feels good, like it's it's incredible.

906
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 4: I think.

907
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: I'm I also love like the fact back to like

908
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: gender fluidity, there's so many, so much option. I can

909
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: wear whatever I want and like I have It's not

910
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 1: like I just get sent a box and it's like

911
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: here's the girl shipment wear it. It's like Nikki, you

912
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: get to pick what you want to wear, and I'm

913
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: like hell yeah. And so I think I love all

914
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: their like tights and half ties like anyone who's ever

915
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 1: lou love and like they've gone tights, you know, and

916
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: like I feel like the short like the half tips.

917
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 4: That I wear and the quarter tights and like, yeah,

918
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 4: big fan.

919
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 3: What are you it's aside from this new partnership ambassadors

920
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 3: with lul Lemon, what are you excited about right now?

921
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I'm excited to run at USAYS next week.

922
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: And I'm especially excited because, like we were talking about

923
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: I'm someone who kind of takes what's happening in my

924
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: life off of the track and it translates onto it.

925
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: And I think, just right now I'm in such a

926
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 1: like happy good place, like we just opened up Pride

927
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 1: five K registration, Like I'm just announcing that I'm with

928
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: the coolest brand ever. Like it's just I think I'm

929
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: just excited to keep riding that wave of like good

930
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 1: momentum vibes, and then I get to race, which I

931
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: you know, I love racing, like that's training is fine

932
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: and fun and workouts are cool or whatever, but like

933
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 1: I live to like I live for that last two

934
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: hundred meters of a fifteen hundred, So I'm excited just

935
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 1: to race at Usas for sure.

936
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 3: What would you say over the last let's say, like

937
00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: six eight months navigating that kind of profan that went

938
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 3: hand in hand with not having a sponsor, wondering if

939
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 3: you wanted to continue, was perhaps some of the best

940
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 3: advice that you received to get you through that difficult time.

941
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was advice, but like I

942
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: think I get asked Ale, like, oh, what would you

943
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: tell younger Nikki, you know, and I think it was

944
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 1: kind of like that younger Nikki, Like Okay, would younger

945
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 1: Nikki be like proud of you?

946
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 4: Or like would they you know, I don't know.

947
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 1: I feel like I always kind of got back to

948
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: them and like they just had so much courage to

949
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, I'm gonna straut on the beach

950
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: and like wear this and like I'm going to show

951
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: y'all how like I can swim and run. Like I

952
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 1: feel like I've been trying to get back to that

953
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 1: like little.

954
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 4: Nikki and that like confidence that like they exuded.

955
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 1: And like so I think, you know, I like I

956
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: was never going to walk away from the sport because

957
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: I knew like deep dog like little Nicky would ever

958
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 1: love me. I know, of like this is something like

959
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 1: I think I heard it. It's like stop letting insignificant

960
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: people have significant impact on your life. It's just like

961
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: this is a dream that you've had, like to be

962
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: a professional writer, to make World and Olympic teams. Like

963
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 1: why are you letting an insignificant person like get to you?

964
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: And like I think that was like a quote that

965
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: really that I heard that I was like, yeah, that's

966
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: a good one.

967
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 2: You mentioned world chams.

968
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 3: Obviously you a World Championships finalist yourself. Can we talk

969
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 3: a little bit about what that experience was like for you?

970
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, that was incredible.

971
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: I mean twenty nineteen, it was just like going into

972
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: usas I was like, I think I could do it.

973
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,240
Speaker 4: You know, it's never it's never certain.

974
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 1: There's you know, the US is so deep right now,

975
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: and I'm it's so fun to be a part of it,

976
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: like this time in track and field. But yeah, I

977
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: just believed in myself and then I had a good

978
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 1: race and I ended up being top three. And then yeah,

979
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,439
Speaker 1: when I was there, I was like, my goal, I'm here.

980
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: There's three rounds. I was like, oh my god's to

981
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: make the final. I'm not here just to be here,

982
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: you know. And so I think that was really cool

983
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,359
Speaker 1: to achieve not only achieve the golf, making the world team,

984
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,240
Speaker 1: but then also making the world final.

985
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was crazy.

986
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: It was in Doha, like I don't think I would

987
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: ever pick to vacation there, Like it's like I'm only

988
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: here because of track and field, and that was a

989
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 1: really cool thing of like I get to go places

990
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: that I don't know, like the Middle East that I

991
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 1: would never go to, but like track and Fields brought

992
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: me here and like it was really cool me, you know,

993
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: just to represent team USA, and like, I think it

994
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: was really cool to be, like, yeah, I'm a super

995
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 1: queer person representing the US, Like it's track and field

996
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,800
Speaker 1: is so cool because there's like so many different sized

997
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: people and like so many different ethnicities and like heights

998
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 1: and like, you know, it's just I feel like it's

999
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: like a melting pot of the US, like the track

1000
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: and field team specifically, and so it was really cool

1001
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: to kind of represent the LGBTQ community on.

1002
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 4: That team as well.

1003
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1004
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm going to World Championships myself this year,

1005
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 3: not as an athlete.

1006
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 2: Let's just make sure that we put that out there.

1007
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 2: But I'm going out there this year to do some work.

1008
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 3: And I wouldn't mind if it had happened to be

1009
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 3: I don't know, like somewhere amazing and exotic.

1010
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 2: But Eugene will do.

1011
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 3: It's fine, Yeah, Eugene will do.

1012
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 2: I'll show up.

1013
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 3: I don't know, though, I would say that Eugene might

1014
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 3: be a little bit better for me than Doha.

1015
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was hot question for you.

1016
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 3: Right now, someone goes to your Instagram page, they see

1017
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 3: someone who is so strong a person that's a professional

1018
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 3: track and field athlete with more than thirty five thousand followers.

1019
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 3: When you look in the mirror, what is it that

1020
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you?

1021
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:57,720
Speaker 1: Gosh, I mean I see someone who is I think

1022
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 1: constantly like working on themselves. I love personality tests or

1023
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: like I'm diving deep into what makes people people, and like.

1024
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm I don't know. I feel like

1025
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 4: I'm just kind of someone.

1026
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: That's always like learning and growing, and like I can

1027
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: always look at myself and like take confidence in that.

1028
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 1: Then I'm like, I'm always gonna look back on myself

1029
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 1: in two years and be like, oh wow, I've grown

1030
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: a lot from since then.

1031
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1032
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: I also feel like I'm cute. I'm like, oh, that

1033
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:28,240
Speaker 1: person's cute.

1034
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 2: Who are cute?

1035
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 3: You're like, I'm not sitting here fishing for compliments, But also,

1036
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 3: aren't I cute?

1037
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 2: Okay? Okay?

1038
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 3: But people also want to know how do you recover?

1039
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 3: What's your recovery routine? Look Like, I know, like training

1040
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 3: can be like an exciting thing to talk about, but

1041
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 3: maybe more relatable is what you do when you're off

1042
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 3: the track. So run us through the motions. What do

1043
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 3: you prioritize, what do you do?

1044
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: I'm definitely like a big sleeper naps. I have a dog, Scout.

1045
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: I love like taking her on walks. I don't know

1046
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: if that's like recovery, but like I guess it's just

1047
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: something I do when I'm not running. But yeah, norma

1048
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 1: tech big. I like ice, you know, when I have

1049
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: a little sore or something.

1050
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:20,399
Speaker 4: But yeah, honestly, I just recently it's been planning the.

1051
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: Frid five K with Emma and like both working together

1052
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,439
Speaker 1: on something that we're both just so passionate about, which

1053
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: is like creating safe spaces for queer people, and like

1054
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: that's been so fun to like do this this year's

1055
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 1: project with her. And it's like we have no business

1056
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: putting on an in person race. Like I'm a professional

1057
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: runner and she's like BYU ex Mormon who like leads

1058
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 1: into advocacy too.

1059
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 4: It's like what, like who are we?

1060
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 1: But we're just figuring it out together and like it's

1061
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: so fun, Like you know, we're like emailing the police

1062
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: and like talking to like other race directors or like

1063
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: you know, trying to find brand who want to sponsor it,

1064
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: and like it's just been a really fun project to

1065
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 1: like figure out together and like, you know, this is

1066
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: something we want to step into, you know, once our

1067
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 1: careers are over and like do really full time. So

1068
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 1: it's definitely a fun way to like recover, I guess

1069
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: mentally from like you can't all the time be like

1070
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 1: visualizing your race or like you know, running like it's

1071
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,800
Speaker 1: exhausting and like you wouldn't be a good runner or

1072
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 1: at least I want it if I didn't have balance.

1073
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I was going to ask you what

1074
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 3: the most difficult part of putting together and in person

1075
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,399
Speaker 3: race would be. My guess would be the permitting and

1076
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 3: that note you said about the police, But am I wrong?

1077
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it's the logistics stuff for sure. But

1078
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: that's the other thing the Flagstaff community has been. You know,

1079
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: we moved here in March like three months ago, and

1080
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 1: they've just been so excited and like willing to help. Like, yeah,

1081
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 1: we were talking to like we have to have a

1082
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:57,879
Speaker 1: kind of an EMT person on site, and so we're

1083
00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: talking like the.

1084
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,919
Speaker 4: Hospital the other day and they were like, oh, what's

1085
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 4: this form.

1086
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,400
Speaker 1: We're like, oh, we're in money for the tarbor project,

1087
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 1: and like, oh, that's so awesome, Like well, we can

1088
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 1: come for free, and we're like what, like, you know,

1089
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: just like really awesome and like run flaxapp is the local,

1090
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: you know, running store here and they were like, hey,

1091
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,799
Speaker 1: we asked for their timing system and they're, you know,

1092
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 1: going to help us out with that. And then they're

1093
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 1: also they were like, oh, we also have a course

1094
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 1: for you, and we're like what like So it's definitely

1095
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: been like incredible the kind of willingness of this community

1096
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:29,919
Speaker 1: to help.

1097
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 4: So they definitely make it easy.

1098
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, I would say typinicely like the permits and

1099
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 1: cops and like figure it out, but Emma does all

1100
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 1: that stuff.

1101
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 3: So I do like the brains and good lucks I'm

1102
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 3: getting I'm kidding. Well, I'm so so happy that we

1103
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 3: were able to connect today, and like I said earlier,

1104
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 3: a good chunk of our conversation talking about coming out

1105
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 3: not just once but twice for you now, I think

1106
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 3: it would be so helpful if you have any advice

1107
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 3: or words of wisdom that you would offer to someone

1108
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:08,840
Speaker 3: who may be going through a similar transition in their life,

1109
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 3: going through that hurdle moment.

1110
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: What advice would you offer them?

1111
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, it's so hard and it's so chucky

1112
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: with with things like coming out because you know, so

1113
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 1: much of it is like Okay, am I safe enough

1114
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: to do this? And like I think if you're in

1115
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 1: a position where you are safe to come out, like

1116
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: I would tell someone like start small and like tell

1117
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:34,719
Speaker 1: someone that you really trust and kind of if you

1118
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,840
Speaker 1: can vet them even of like, so, how do you feel.

1119
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 4: About gay people? You feel like.

1120
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 1: Just like or you know, like someone that you're really

1121
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: close with that like, well, you know you you maybe

1122
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 1: know it's going to accept you. Like that's like just

1123
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:50,879
Speaker 1: telling one person is enough, right, and like you can

1124
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 1: then go from there. It doesn't have to be this

1125
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 1: huge like social media post or like extravagant coming out thing.

1126
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,399
Speaker 1: Like just start small and then and then go from there.

1127
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: I think would be my advice with it. But I

1128
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 1: mean I also think for me, I can only speak

1129
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 1: to like me and my experience. But for me, I

1130
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 1: had so much built up anticipation that it was going

1131
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 1: to be like the worst thing ever. If I told

1132
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:15,879
Speaker 1: someone I was gay and it was like it wasn't

1133
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 1: bad at all, So you know, kind of try to

1134
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: go in with like not I guess preconceived ideas of

1135
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: what's going to happen?

1136
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 4: Because like people can surprise.

1137
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 2: You, people can surprise you. I love it. I'm so

1138
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 2: grateful that we were able again to connect today. Nikki.

1139
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 3: How do the hurdlers follow along with you? How do

1140
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 3: they keep up with you? Give us your information?

1141
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 4: Yeah? Follow me at Nicky Hilts.

1142
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram, TikTok Twitter and then yeah, Pride five

1143
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: k on Instagram to get you know, all the latest updates.

1144
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 4: I hope registration hasn't crashed yet.

1145
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 2: Wait, do you want to do you want to peep it? No,

1146
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 2: it's fine, I'll do it like No, I don't want

1147
00:57:58,000 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 2: to look at it.

1148
00:57:59,120 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 4: I don't want know.

1149
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Well, thank you so much.

1150
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily Abadi at Hurdle Podcast Another hurdle conquered.

1151
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time