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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from Money

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Speaker 1: from Strangers Jeff Die June nineteenth through the twenty first.

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Speaker 1: Tickets are available at Parlor Live dot com or call

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Speaker 1: four two five two eight nine seven thousand is another jel. Hello,

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Speaker 1: I am looking for Mark. Yes, this is Mark Mark.

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Speaker 1: How are you? My name is Kolbe Sazarak. I'm planning

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Speaker 1: a birthday party for my son. And I was told

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Speaker 1: you were the man to talk to Yes, I am

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Speaker 1: the man to talk to you. How can I help you? Wonderful? Wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for something very high end. Okay, and you

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Speaker 1: know you know what I mean by high end? Correct? Sure? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And I've worked. I just in other words, I'm very wealthy. Okay, great, Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'd be happy to to help you over you won

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Speaker 1: you have in mind? Well, the party is for my

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Speaker 1: nine year old son, Buffett. We named him after Warren Buffett.

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Speaker 1: What do you think about nice? A cute name, isn't

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Speaker 1: you know the billionaire that's who Warren Buffet is. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: he's a good friend of mine and I told him

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Speaker 1: one night, I said, when I have a son, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to name him after you. And I did very good. Yeah, anyway,

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Speaker 1: I had some ideas for the party. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: run by you see if you could pull it off. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'd be happy to sort of brainstorm do What kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff are you thinking about? I think it would

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Speaker 1: be great if you could arrange Johnny Depp to show

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Speaker 1: up in full pirate gear. Wait, so, I'm sorry. You

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Speaker 1: want me to get Johnny Depp to be your son's birthday. Well,

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Speaker 1: if you know him, you just call him Johnny. But yes,

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Speaker 1: I do. Okay, Pizza. I can give you his cell

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Speaker 1: phone number and you can call and coordinate, and when

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Speaker 1: he hears my name, he will do it. Okay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you feel that's confident about that, then I'd be

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Speaker 1: happy to try to I'm sorry, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you're new to the customer service industry or you didn't

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Speaker 1: hear me, but Johnny Depp is a friend of mine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think I think I'm I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't mean to be disrespectful. I think that the idea

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Speaker 1: that I think might i'd show up. All you've done

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Speaker 1: is be disrespectful so far. Well, I think I think

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Speaker 1: the point is that it's hard to get an a

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Speaker 1: list actor to come to another. Okay, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: get an a list actor when that a list actor

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Speaker 1: isn't a close friend of yours, right, And I said,

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Speaker 1: get me Johnny Depp in full pirate gear. I told

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Speaker 1: you that I have his cell phone number, and then

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Speaker 1: you insulted me by saying it would be something that

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Speaker 1: would be hard to do. Yeah, okay, so you might

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Speaker 1: want to just go ahead and try someone else, Mark, Mark, Mark,

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Speaker 1: what I feel like we got off on the wrong

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Speaker 1: foot about this whole Johnny Depp thing. Yeah, the Johnny

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Speaker 1: Depp thing is is yeah, okay, we can make that happen.

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Speaker 1: Let's brush that under the rug and move on. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to try. Like, what other things are you

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Speaker 1: thinking about here? For your for buffet buffett? Yes, well,

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of rich friends, so I think

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Speaker 1: it would be impressive if next to the caviare we

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Speaker 1: substitute napkins four hundred dollar bills? What's your thought on that? Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it seems a little wasteful to me. Wasteful would be

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Speaker 1: throwing away your life to the point where you can't

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Speaker 1: have one hundred dollar bills as napkins. That would be

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Speaker 1: wasteful all right, honestly, like, I'm very cautious to move

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Speaker 1: wasteful would be devoting your life to being a party planner. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So if you want, like to actually start a fight

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Speaker 1: right now with me, I'd be happy to meet you

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Speaker 1: somewhere and we can just like to speak to Are

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Speaker 1: you challenging what you want to do? Are you challenging

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Speaker 1: me to fisticuffs? Yeah, because you're being to fisticuffs. What

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Speaker 1: do you like from the four like fourteenth century England

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Speaker 1: or something? What's wrong with you? I am refined? Why

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Speaker 1: don't you go back to your sad life? All right? Wife,

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Speaker 1: your hundred dollar bill, tell your son Buffet to like

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Speaker 1: go like have a great part. It's a buffet. His

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Speaker 1: name is Buffet. I actually I've never wished to something him.

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Speaker 1: But I actually hope that you die in the next

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours. It would be it would be an

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Speaker 1: amazing funeral. If I did you know how many celebrities

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Speaker 1: would show up. I'm sure they would all be there,

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Speaker 1: and they would all be pleased because they were the

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Speaker 1: world would just automatically be a better place. Johnny Depp

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Speaker 1: would cry if I passed away, Dude, what's the are

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Speaker 1: you talking about you? I bet you don't even know

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Speaker 1: Johnny depth? How dare you go? Do you not care

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Speaker 1: one bit of done? You don't care about Johnny Depp?

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Speaker 1: Do you? No, I don't care anything about you or

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Speaker 1: Johnny Depp. Oh, I will call Johnny. I'll call Johnny

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Speaker 1: right now and tell him that you don't care one

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Speaker 1: bit about him. And you know what he's gonna do.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna hope you do. I really hope you do it.

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Speaker 1: I hope why why you're doing that? You get electrocuted

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Speaker 1: and you just instantly die. That's that is my wish

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Speaker 1: for you. That would turn this day and just the

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Speaker 1: ray of joy. Hey, Marty, what this is actually jewel

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Speaker 1: from Brook and Jewel in the morning, I'm moving ninety

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Speaker 1: two point five doing a phone tap on you. Oh,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. Man, your friend, your friend Josh set

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Speaker 1: you up. He says he likes to mess with you

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Speaker 1: all the time. You really should, though, Mark, think about

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Speaker 1: trying to wipe with a hundred dollar bill. It is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, week up every morning with jubile phone taps

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Speaker 1: weekday mornings on the twenties two point five