1 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm 2 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: so excited to be on today on one of your 3 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: celebrity mentors, Alexia Nicola from the Real Housewives of Miami. 4 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: And I'm so excited to have my fellow mentor, Jennifer 5 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: Bestler from the Real Housewives of New Jersey on with 6 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: me today. 7 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: Hi girl, how are you good? And I'm doing great? 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 2: How are you, Patsey. 9 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 3: I'm very excited to have a chance to like we've 10 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,639 Speaker 3: I mean, we've met before, but we haven't really had 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 3: a chance to sit down and shoot. I'm a huge fan, 12 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:46,319 Speaker 3: to be. 13 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 2: Honest, thank you. 14 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm also a fan of your show, and i'm you 15 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: and I'm so happy that we get to do this 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: together and have some fun. 17 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,480 Speaker 2: Me too, Me too. 18 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 3: It's going to be, actually, I think, a really interesting episode. 19 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: I mean, the longest it's not about me and my divorce. 20 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: I can talk about anybody else's divorce, right. 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 3: What divorce going there? I have a feeling you're a 22 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 3: little tired of it. 23 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I kind of am. Yes, I am here. You 24 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 2: want me to ask you about it? When I've got 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,960 Speaker 2: the notes, Well, you know it's not in the notes. 26 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 1: And when I got the notes, and I'm like, oh 27 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: my god, of course, yes, I'll do it as long 28 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: as I don't have to get to talk about mine. 29 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: But you know, divorce is going on every single second, 30 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: every single minute that we're talking unfortunately, but you know, 31 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: sometimes you know it is necessary, and I feel like 32 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: being in the public eye is is just one of 33 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: the causes of divorce just in itself, just like for 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: me personally, Like that's what I believe. And today we're 35 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: going to be talking about celebrities who are you know, 36 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 1: who are going through a divorce right now, and you know, 37 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: different kind of divorces we're going to talk about, which 38 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: is actually like fawn and cute because I don't know 39 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: about you, but I had never heard about great divorce 40 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: and silver divorce. 41 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 2: You know. 42 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 3: I just I want to say you and I'm not 43 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 3: asking you anything. I just want to say that I 44 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 3: think that, Uh, it's like, I think so easy right 45 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 3: for people in the outside to watch. They don't know 46 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 3: what you've been through, but they know what they read 47 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 3: or they know what they hear, and it just what 48 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 3: you've been through reminds me. I hadn't been divorced, but 49 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 3: I was separated for like a year and a half 50 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 3: and there is it is such I'm very crass, Alexias, 51 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 3: so forgive me, but it is such a mindfolk right 52 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 3: when you have those types of feelings that you have 53 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 3: immu least at my age I had. I was seeing 54 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 3: someone when I was in my separation, and the feelings 55 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 3: are overwhelming for me, especially I was, you know, I 56 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 3: was older and got caught up in this relationship that 57 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 3: I had. It felt like the sparks in the chemistry 58 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 3: and ultimately it wasn't right for me. And I'm not 59 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 3: asking you about you and Todd, but people don't understand 60 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 3: how hard that can be when you are intimately emotionally 61 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 3: involved with someone for whatever reason, and it doesn't matter 62 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 3: what everyone says or what everyone does. It's like you 63 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 3: close your eyes. At least for me, I remember, and 64 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 3: all it is is about that person, that person, that person, 65 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 3: that person, that person, And I just know you've been 66 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,799 Speaker 3: through it, and Sister, I admire you because that's not easy. 67 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 3: It's not easy. 68 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: And you know what's the most diffical part is having 69 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: to share this, you know, on TV, because you know 70 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: it's already hard enough to end. 71 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 2: You're going through this privately. 72 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: You know between you know, your husband and wife and 73 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: then you you're like put in a position that I 74 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: was filming a show. And I've always been very real, 75 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: you know, I lived my truth. I've been very authentic. 76 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: And that's what you guys got to see. You know, 77 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: you got to see and will continue to see because 78 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: you know, our episode is you know, will be airing 79 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: for a few months now, so for a few months, 80 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: so you'll get to see like my whole journey and 81 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: it really has not been easy, but there was I 82 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: had no other choice. 83 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: I had no other choice. 84 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, you know, you guys 85 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: don't get to see the full story. You know, you 86 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: get to see, you know, whatever day I was filming, 87 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: whatever Alexa was feeling that way, you know I was that. 88 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: You know, I was an emotional roller coaster. You know, 89 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad, the highs 90 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: the lows. So you guys got to see me like 91 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: the most vulnerable and however I showed up that day 92 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: whatever I was feeling, that's what you guys saw. But 93 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: it was really difficult, Jen Like I honestly like I 94 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: don't know, but I feel like every season for me 95 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: is like that. 96 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 2: Well, I can't. 97 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 3: I'm not and I don't say this just to be 98 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 3: self deprecated. I was a friend of a housewife for 99 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 3: two years. It's not the same, right, Apple's stablished. I 100 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 3: haven't been through years and years of this. So but 101 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 3: for me, even on days that were bad, there's there's 102 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 3: life outside of what the camera catches. To have to 103 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 3: sit there, go through glam, you're getting phone calls, whatever 104 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 3: part of your life is creeping in and whether it's 105 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,239 Speaker 3: you know, for me, my husband, my kids, a friend 106 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 3: is in trouble a and then it doesn't matter because 107 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 3: then boom, cameras are on. But all of that stuff 108 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 3: is still there. It's in your stomach, it's in your body. 109 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 110 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 3: It's like once you get that anxiety, my friend always 111 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 3: says is I think it's so true, Like it's hard 112 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 3: to get it out of your body. So now you're 113 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 3: filming and you already have the lump in your throat 114 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 3: and you're interacting and you're talking about things that it's 115 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 3: hard to even focus on. 116 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. 117 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 1: I I give it one of the hardest things that 118 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: I that I've had to do, you know, one of 119 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: the hardest things, and then reliving it, because that's the 120 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: other thing that was some months ago. I had to 121 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,559 Speaker 1: relive all that, you know, episode one, episode two, which 122 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: was a breaking point for me. And you know, and 123 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: you'll get to follow my journey, you know. That's all 124 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: like I want to say, Like for now, I don't 125 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: really want to talk about it, but you know, you 126 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,919 Speaker 1: guys will get to see it. And you know, for me, 127 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 1: the most important thing is that it's unfortunate that you 128 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: only get to see like, you know, bits and pieces, 129 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: you know, because the show is not only about me, 130 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: it's about other you know, but I shared the show 131 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: with eight other women. 132 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 2: You know, we all have a story to tell. 133 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 3: And again it's about Todd. I mean it's not easy, right. 134 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: I mean you don't get to see the full story, 135 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: you know, unfortunately for him. You know, since we're talking 136 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: about him, you know you're going to get to see that. 137 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: But you know, there's good and bad, like in every relationship, 138 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 1: and there's highs and lows, and you know we're here 139 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: today to talk about other people's. 140 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I just wanted to make sure that that 141 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: you know that I appreciate just what you're doing, how 142 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 3: you're hanging on and you're inspiring. 143 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: I sometimes thank you sometimes like your pain turns into 144 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: a purpose, into purpose and if I can help any woman, 145 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: and that's not what I want. I'm not trying to 146 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: play victim. I'm not trying to be inspiring. I'm just 147 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: leaving my truth and I'm telling my story. 148 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 2: Well that's why. 149 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 3: By the way we're talking, we're talking about you guys, yes, divorced, 150 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 3: but right now specifically, we're talking about women of a 151 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 3: certain age that get divorced. And Alex and I were 152 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 3: just talking about something called gray divorce, which I hadn't 153 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 3: heard of, or silver divorce, and I guess it's when 154 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:50,799 Speaker 3: people that are over fifty get divorced, over the people 155 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 3: that have had a long term marriage. But there's all 156 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 3: of this these tips. I guess it was in USA 157 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 3: today talking about how to survive that, because I think 158 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 3: it's probably different. Divorce is gonna suck, doesn't matter, the 159 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 3: age doesn't matter. But it's probably a little different and 160 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 3: maybe even in some ways scarier when you're older and 161 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 3: you've shared a life with someone for so many years. 162 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 3: House is someonney. You just shared kids with them, and 163 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 3: you shared money with them, and these things become you know, 164 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 3: all of a sudden, you get upended and everything that 165 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 3: you knew I think, I mean I haven't I haven't 166 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 3: gotten a divorce yet, you know. But anyway, so, but 167 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: there's this advice that in this article. So we'll just 168 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 3: like you're just go through it and then you'll tell 169 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 3: me what you'll take you So, uh, one of the 170 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 3: tips is don't expect to have the same lifestyle after divorce. 171 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: That's a problem that stops a lot of women from 172 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: wanting to get divorced because they're afraid, you know, to 173 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: lose their lifestyle. 174 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 175 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: Women, Yes, I stick you know, to their relationship and 176 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: because they're afraid, you know, they're gonna afraid what's going 177 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: to happen to them? And you know, like we said, 178 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: you know, they're older, so like where do they start again? 179 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: You know, the women in the workforce don't have the 180 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: same opportunities when they're fifties, you know, versus their twenties 181 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: or thirties. 182 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: So it's like a really scary position to be in. 183 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 3: And by the way, I have friends who got divorced 184 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 3: later in life, and I honestly, I hate to say it, 185 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 3: not all of them, some of them are living their 186 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 3: best lives. They some of them that say divorce is 187 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 3: so underrated, like it's the best by many of them 188 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 3: who also say they wouldn't do it again. You know, 189 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 3: their lives got turned so upside down. 190 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 2: What do you mean they wouldn't do They wouldn't have 191 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 2: to divorce again? 192 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: Right? 193 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 3: And so much of this. I know you guys know this, 194 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 3: but I'm sorry to say it out loud, But it's 195 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 3: just about finances, right, And I guess for a lot 196 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 3: of people, when you've lived a certain way, you know, 197 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 3: you don't have to necessarily lived like a housewife or 198 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 3: a billionaire. But even whatever makes you whatever's comfortable, might 199 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 3: not be so comfortable anymore, right, And like your standing 200 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 3: habits may have to change, and your home may have 201 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 3: to change. And forget about the fact that you're also 202 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,719 Speaker 3: divorcing and all the complications that go along with that. 203 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: Not easy, right, Well, luckily we're going to ski about 204 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:28,079 Speaker 1: delm what's his name, Delmo Dylan mulroney. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, 205 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: he because he just also he filed for divorce from 206 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: his wife whose name. 207 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 3: There's no way you try that. I can't do it. 208 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 2: I know, Prima, something she changed her name. Actually, I 209 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 2: think she made it worse. 210 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: I felt like her name before she changed, it was 211 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: a lot easier to see She's Italian sense, but from 212 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: her new name Prima. And you know, and in their case, 213 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: you know, you would you would wonder. You know, they're 214 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: both she's a singer songwriter. You know, he's an actor. 215 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: They have, you know, two teenager children, and they were 216 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: together for fifteen years, you know, and he filed. 217 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: But so, what do you think is happening? 218 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: Do you think that people are just getting like tired 219 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: of each other or they just like grow apart because 220 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: they spend too much time apart, and then they get 221 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: comfortable with being alone. I mean, there's so much to unpack, 222 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,319 Speaker 1: you know, with these divorces. First of all, we don't 223 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: live in their houses. That's to start off with, because 224 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: you know, we all have an opinion, but you know, 225 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: we don't live in them, we don't sleep in their bedrooms. 226 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: We don't know what goes on, right, so we're just 227 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: kind of like speculating, you know, on what could have 228 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: gone wrong, and don't need them to know what went wrong. 229 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 3: And I'm sure I don't know. I'm guessing they didn't 230 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 3: read this article before they got divorced, and I think 231 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 3: their issues I don't know if it would be if 232 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 3: their issues are similar to getting a great divorce, but 233 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 3: like the money stuff, I would think for these types 234 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,439 Speaker 3: of people from really big celebrities is also a very 235 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,319 Speaker 3: different thing, maybe more complicated, maybe less complicated. I think 236 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 3: that he it says that they're amicable, right, I mean, 237 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 3: that's what the article said. It said, no one's asking 238 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 3: for anything, no one's denying anything, not arguing over children 239 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 3: or money. That seems very very unusual. 240 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: It seems to have a mediator. They haven't, you know, 241 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: hired a churney. They're trying to resolve it. 242 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 2: You know. 243 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: I think too that some people sometimes also, I think 244 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: it's a huge factor is when they both want out. 245 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: So when they both want out, I feel like it's 246 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 1: going to be amicable because there's nothing to fight about. 247 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 2: I don't want to be with you and you don't 248 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,559 Speaker 2: want to be with me. 249 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: And you know, we have two children and they're almost 250 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: sixteen years old, and we want to be good parents 251 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: and we're going to be civil about this. 252 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: So I think that's a lot easier. 253 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 1: I think it becomes a problem when, you know, when 254 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: it's not consensual, you know, when they're not in the 255 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: same page. It's not mutual, like one really wants something 256 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 1: the divorce, the other one doesn't want it. And that 257 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: and also money, if you're not fighting over money, I 258 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: think money is like the number one thing that couples 259 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: fight about. 260 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 3: Yeah too, you see it. You see even like the 261 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 3: doorces that maybe could have started out amicable dissolve. I 262 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 3: don't know how pk and reads divorce started out if 263 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 3: it was amicable getting but all I keep reading is 264 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 3: I don't know the truth, but they're fighting over money. 265 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 3: Let me ask you this, Alexi. If you you're getting divorced, 266 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 3: you've lived in a house for years and years and years, 267 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 3: do you because they said something about don't get hung up. 268 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 2: On the house. 269 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, because women usually get hung up on the house. 270 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: But then guess what happens. They can't afford it, because 271 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: you know, that's what happens. And then whatever little money 272 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 1: they're getting or whatever, even if it's a lot of money, right, 273 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: they're spending everything on the home, on the mortgage, on 274 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: the expenses, and then they run out of money. I 275 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: am always a firm believer that it's better to have cash, 276 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: you know what you want the house, stick your app, 277 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: stick your boot, stick your house up your butt, And 278 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: I don't want your house, and you stay with the 279 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 1: house and you deal with it. I always feel like 280 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: it's better to have cash, you know, in your in 281 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 1: your brank. 282 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep. So listen, I think that for me personally, 283 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 3: I wouldn't even want to stay in the house, like 284 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 3: the house is part of the old life, you know 285 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 3: what I mean. It's like I don't know, but I 286 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,599 Speaker 3: know a lot of women do. They don't want to 287 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 3: be kicked out of their house. And I understand that. 288 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 3: But for me also, I and again I maybe I'm 289 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 3: just saying this, and when if it actually happened, I 290 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 3: would feel differently. But I would want such a fresh 291 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 3: start such I would want smaller, I would want easier, 292 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 3: whatever makes my life more peaceful. And I think a 293 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 3: lot of women do get caught up in that. And 294 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 3: I think they get caught up on it. First of all, 295 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,719 Speaker 3: it feels like it's their house. Of course, maybe it's 296 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 3: the size they don't want to downsize. But also, I mean, 297 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 3: the experts are now saying, you know, just you won't 298 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 3: leave that I won't leave the house like it, you're 299 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 3: doing yourself a disservice in a way, so which I 300 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 3: can think is interesting. 301 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: Right, if you can't afford it, you're definitely doing yourself 302 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: a disservice. But sometimes it's more like fry, you know, 303 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: like I stayed with the house. You know, I understand 304 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 1: sometimes that moms want you know, women that are moms 305 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: and have children want to day in the house. People 306 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: the children are already going with your trauma of you know, 307 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: their father not living there and the separation. So then't 308 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,839 Speaker 1: want to keep the children in the home because it's 309 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: familiar and it just you know, it's just better for 310 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: them as a family unit, for the mom and the children. 311 00:13:56,200 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: But you know, speaking about divorce, data on in life, 312 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: the grades divorce, right, these older women are staying with 313 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 1: the homes, and then what happens is they burnt all 314 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 1: their money. They go through the money just to maintain 315 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: the house, and then they're left with nothing. 316 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I'm totally on the same page. What about 317 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 3: So when I was separated and we were talking about 318 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 3: divorce just goes back a long way. But we've I 319 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 3: in my mind, like you have to be married to 320 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 3: a certain a certain amount of years, then you get 321 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 3: permanent alimony and what kind of alimony was getting. But 322 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 3: I don't think any of that. 323 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: I don't know. 324 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 3: I don't know exactly how it stands right now. But 325 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 3: I don't even know if there's any such thing as 326 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 3: permanent alimony, right, and if you get to the rest, 327 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 3: I don't things have changed a lot. 328 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 2: They have, you know, to benefit the men. 329 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: And with all the defense, you know, you know a 330 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: lot of these men, you know, they do were stuck 331 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: with permanent alimony so many years ago, you know, do 332 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: grow older and then what are the chances that they 333 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: can retire? 334 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 2: You know, and like some might have money for them. 335 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 1: Too, So you know, I'm I'm fifty to fifty, you know, 336 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: I feel like there should be some kind of law 337 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: that money can't be you know until you know, like 338 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: social security agents or you know, you're so much older, 339 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: because you know, a lot of men have to keep 340 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: on working, can never retire because they need to take 341 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: care of their wife. But I think that also depends 342 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: on the state, right It depends also, like every state 343 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: has like different laws, you know and whatnot. But some 344 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: of these women, in other defense have never worked and 345 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: day in their life. So imagine you marry your high 346 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: school sweetheart like in their twenties or and you know, 347 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: you have children, you never work. You know, they give 348 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: you like this, you know, beautiful, incredible life where women 349 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: have never like. 350 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 2: Had to, you know, be responsible for bills or anything. 351 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: And then they're left at fifty something and they usually 352 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: replace you with somebody that's younger. So you know, apart 353 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: from everything that you're going through, you also have to 354 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: worry about how are you going to live the rest 355 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: of your life? 356 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 3: No, it's brutal, and you know, I just I feel 357 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 3: like all of this depends on the specific couple, and 358 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 3: but there's always just so much mess. Did you hear 359 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 3: about Portia Williams? You did you? 360 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: Yes? 361 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 3: By the way, you see that in What was It In? 362 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: What was It? In? And People and People Magazine? 363 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 3: Oh no, she was doing the Angela basset thing. 364 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: Oh that was so bad. As I love Porscha. I 365 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 1: got to know Porsche. We want the ultimate girls' trip 366 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: together to Thailand, and she brought so much joy, you know, 367 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: just she just likes a pro room when she comes 368 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: in and by the way, she had just she flew 369 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: because you know, her work ethics are so strong. And 370 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: she left Simon and her family to come film with 371 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 1: us at the Ultimore Girls Trip. And she had just 372 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,200 Speaker 1: been on this beautiful vacation, you know, with Simon all 373 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: over Europe, and she flew from there basically to Thailand 374 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 1: so she can work. And you know, I totally understand 375 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: Porsche because I feel like she's like me, like we 376 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: believe in love, the idea of love and the romanticism 377 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: and the whole thing. So she meets this guy and 378 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: she swept off her feet because he's like a prince, 379 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: you know from Africa whatever, you know. I mean not 380 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: literally a prince with with with the title, but I'm 381 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: just saying like, and he tweats her like a princess, 382 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: and she's just like falls in love with him. 383 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 2: You know, she's hot. 384 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,160 Speaker 1: She doesn't have such great relationships in the past, so 385 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: it's easy, you know, when you're like down in Vronerbo whatever, 386 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: like somebody comes, you know, into your life and you're like, WHOA, 387 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: I feel like that, you know, you fall in love 388 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: with a person. 389 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 3: She talks about. I think they were like fIF there's 390 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,160 Speaker 3: a fifteen year age gap, right, a seventeen year seventeen years. 391 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 2: You know, do you think that that's a factor. 392 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 3: I think that's the break. If I had to do 393 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 3: it again, I'm going older and I am. I don't 394 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 3: know if that was a factor specifically in their breakup. 395 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 3: I feel like, especially when you've been through a lot, 396 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 3: what you look for probably, at least my opinion, I 397 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 3: would look for peace. 398 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee peace. 399 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: An older man that literally does piece and an older 400 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 1: man does not guarantee stability either. 401 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot. 402 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: Of older men that are emotionally unavailable, They are emotionally immature, 403 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 1: and they bring nothing to the table. But I do 404 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: get it in her case, because she was so excited 405 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 1: about this man, even though I know it was like 406 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 1: the husband of one of her friends on the show. 407 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: You know, I don't have too much information about that, 408 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: or do I care, because I don't think anybody really 409 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 1: breaks anybody's marriage. You know, obviously he was not okay 410 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: with with his ex when he you know, wanted to 411 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 1: you know, date Portiche. So that's like a whole different thing. 412 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 1: But what I'm trying to say is that I understand 413 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,479 Speaker 1: why she fell in love with this man, and you know, 414 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: she kind of thought that he was going to like 415 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: save her from whatever she was looking for. You know 416 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 1: what I mean, We're all looking for different things in 417 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: different stages in our lives. 418 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 2: Do you think that you were susceptible? 419 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 3: Like I think that if I'm looking for love, because 420 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 3: even you're right, older men don't necessarily they're not necessarily 421 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 3: more stable, They're not necessarily. 422 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 2: More emotionally aware. 423 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 3: For me, I would just be so tired. You know, 424 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 3: at some point, what do you want in life? I 425 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 3: mean I don't know if you. Let's not even let's 426 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 3: not to make this about you, but like do you 427 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,360 Speaker 3: still want at a certain age? Are you still looking 428 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 3: for the spark? I mean you always talk about you 429 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 3: know how you're trast so attracted. I know they'll talk 430 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 3: about topic you always so attract me. 431 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 1: I've read through my journey, I've like come to understand 432 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: that a spark is not a good thing, right, But 433 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: you know what, sometimes you don't have that spark and 434 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 1: it still doesn't turn out the same. 435 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 2: So I need to feel excited. 436 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: I need a little bit of that spark, and I 437 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 1: need a little bit of that challenge. But at the 438 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,640 Speaker 1: same time, and I've wanted this all stages in my life, 439 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: not now that I'm older. 440 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 2: I've always wanted peace. 441 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: Stability and just happy, like a happy family, Like you know, 442 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: I love my children, and I love my children to 443 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: be happy with me and whoever I'm with and just 444 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: just be happy. I mean, that's what I've always wanted 445 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: and just peace. I just I want you to come 446 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: to add things from my life, not because I lack them, 447 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: but because I just wanted to be even better and 448 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,879 Speaker 1: like you know, and have more joy. 449 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 3: So that's I think that's the trick. It's like, yes, 450 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 3: I don't. You have to be attracted to someone, You 451 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 3: have to be excited to even after all these years. 452 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 3: Like I always make jokes about you know, I'm not 453 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 3: a menopause and if I never had sex again, but 454 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 3: I always want to, Like I always want to touch 455 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 3: my husband. I wanted to be close to me physically 456 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 3: and that you know what I mean, just like even 457 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,880 Speaker 3: if it's just holding hands. He makes me feel safe 458 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 3: and I like the way he smells and whatever all 459 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,160 Speaker 3: of that. But but I think at some point, maybe thats 460 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 3: a good thing about going through a silver divorce or whatever, 461 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 3: is that you're smarter and you're right, it's not just 462 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 3: you get not older does not necessarily mean more, but 463 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 3: you're smarter, right. 464 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,879 Speaker 2: And you know what you want. I think that's the 465 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 2: key thing. 466 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: I think as we get older, you know what you know, 467 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 1: and we may change, you know, you can be changing 468 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,640 Speaker 1: husbands every time, like we change. But what I'm trying 469 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,159 Speaker 1: to say is, as we get older, you know, we 470 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 1: really know what we want and we're not going to settle. 471 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,119 Speaker 1: I think when we're younger, we settle, and when there's children, 472 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: you know, and involved, you know, we settle as well. 473 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: But I feel like now, you know, at our age, 474 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 1: we really know what we want and we're not going 475 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: to you know, and you know we have our boundaries, 476 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: you know, we we we've created like a different vision 477 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: of what makes us, of how we want to be happy, 478 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: and it has to be somebody that's gonna, you know, 479 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: being on the same ride with us. 480 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 3: You know, my husband and I are like, there's this 481 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 3: whole thing about watching TV and the happiest couples. 482 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,360 Speaker 2: Do watch together, don't watch TV. 483 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 3: But like, to me, that just translates to like space, 484 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 3: Like my husband and I are not, in any sense 485 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 3: of the word, all over each other. And if I'm 486 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: being completely honest. Like when we watch TV, we don't 487 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 3: fight over which show because I'm upstairs watching TV and 488 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 3: he's downstairs watching TV. 489 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 1: Well, that's not watching a part together. And you know what, 490 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. It's again, like what we're saying, 491 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean because you're sitting next to each 492 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 1: other and you're holding hands at being cuddly that you 493 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 1: come up with a beautiful won dierferent relationship and you're 494 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: so connected and there's so much into intimacy. 495 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,880 Speaker 2: You know, that doesn't really, you know, mean that. 496 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 1: So sometimes it is better that you get to watch 497 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 1: your shows that make you happy and make you laugh, 498 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: and he can watch whatever shows. 499 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 2: Your own thing. And then at the end of the. 500 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: Night, you both go to your bed, and you both 501 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: go to your room and there you cuddle and then you're. 502 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 2: Intimate and then you do whatever you have to, you 503 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 2: know what I mean. 504 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 1: But I don't think that God determines whether you have 505 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: a good relationship or not. 506 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 2: I agree. 507 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 3: I say this to my daughter all the time. She 508 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 3: has a boyfriend and she adores him. They adore each other, 509 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,639 Speaker 3: But I'm like, reach, you can't. Everything is not about 510 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 3: I won't say his name just in case. But like 511 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,199 Speaker 3: z everything is not about z z Z. Where is he? 512 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 3: What is he? What is he doing? Is he mad? 513 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:28,359 Speaker 2: Is he not? 514 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,120 Speaker 3: You gotta have your own thing, your own things, separate 515 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 3: from him, separate from this relationship. Like I always encourage her. 516 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 3: You have to have you know, you've got to nurture 517 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 3: other friendship. This is the time to get busy, not 518 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 3: to just see your whole self into a man, into 519 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 3: a relationship, you know. And I listen, I don't even 520 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 3: a little. I'm alone. I love my alone time. 521 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 2: That's important too. 522 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, but I still like sometimes you know, 523 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 1: we say, you know, like I hear like a lot 524 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 1: of women, you know that they want to control the man, like, oh, 525 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 1: like on Sundays, I don't want him to watch football. 526 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 2: You know what, if it's good for him, it's a 527 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 2: lot of foot it's not so bad. 528 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 1: By the way, when I hear my friends complaining about, oh, 529 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: my husband wants to play golf, I'm like, playing golf 530 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: is not so bad. It's actually a good thing for him. 531 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: And that isn't me not like he doesn't want to 532 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: be with you know, he wants to be with you. 533 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,639 Speaker 1: But he also likes to play golf and be with 534 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: his friends, so that's cool too with me. 535 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 2: So you know, I don't know. I think we just 536 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:28,640 Speaker 2: got to be smarter about it. 537 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: And and yeah, and keep on watching, you know, the 538 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: women need to keep on watching the Real Housewives. 539 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's how you learn everything, right, that's how 540 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 3: are you going to live and now live your life? 541 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 2: And like sports, right, and. 542 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 1: The man can watch the sports or whatever it may be. 543 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,679 Speaker 1: And please don't let your guys watch the housewives, you know. 544 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: I don't like when the guys come up to me 545 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 1: and say, oh, by. 546 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 2: The way, like I watched my wife. I'm like, no, no, no, 547 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 2: you shouldn't be watching. 548 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: But so, yeah, so that's fine, you know, I think 549 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 1: that that's actually healthy and good for the relationship. 550 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,640 Speaker 3: I would you ever consider sleeping in. 551 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 2: Separate No, absolutely not, Like that's my favorite. 552 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 3: I wouldn't either. 553 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 2: Relationship is actually sleeping on the same bed. 554 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 3: I agree people talking about that, but that wouldn't be 555 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 3: for me either. I mean, and not because of sex, 556 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 3: just because there's something about. 557 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,879 Speaker 1: Coming home in the same or do you want to 558 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: wait up together, go to together, give each other a 559 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 1: good night kiss? You know, oh, I mean whatever, whatever, maybe, 560 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 1: but look no, definitely we have to sleep in the 561 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: same bed. 562 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you, Alexia. Big kudos to you girl. 563 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 3: Like people don't understand you're going through it and you're 564 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 3: showing up and looking like that. Actually, you know how, 565 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,159 Speaker 3: I actually find a little annoying. It's more of an accusation, 566 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 3: like do you ever just let yourself fall apart? 567 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 2: Uh? 568 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 1: No, you know what, I try to keep it together, 569 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 1: you know, as much as it good. I mean, I 570 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 1: think the most I fall apart was the season, And 571 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: like I said, you know, there were like times that 572 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 1: I couldn't even like show up to film because I 573 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 1: was feeling that shitty inside, you know what I mean that, 574 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 1: and I just couldn't do it. But you know, besides that, 575 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: you know, I love to work out and I keep 576 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: myself busy. I feel like that's my biggest therapy is 577 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: just you know, moving, just keep it moving. I have 578 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,359 Speaker 1: a lot of great friends and family and support, and 579 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: you know, I feel like when you're going through something 580 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,199 Speaker 1: like this, you really need your friends. 581 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 3: Well, having said that, I want to see your friends, so. 582 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 2: Please, like I always have. 583 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 3: Finally, you go in through your Housewives. You're like you 584 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,960 Speaker 3: see people on TV and you kind of like, I 585 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 3: feel like her, and I could really do this for sure. 586 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: We have this bond and meet you also. I love 587 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: your energy, I love who you are, and we have 588 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: so much to talk about. I love that you love 589 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: to talk like me. 590 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:38,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 591 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so we'll do this again. That was actually really 592 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 3: interesting getting to talk about great divorce and about how 593 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,439 Speaker 3: some people choose to approach divorce and their living situation. So, 594 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 3: are you going through a great divorce and need some advice, 595 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 3: Call us or email us. We're here to guide you. 596 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,400 Speaker 3: All of this information is in the show notes. Follow 597 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,199 Speaker 3: us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the 598 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 3: podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcasts where falling 599 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 3: in love is the main objective.