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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, submit

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Speaker 1: your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter, Shirley. Strawberry is out today, so Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey will read the letter and I will respond and

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Speaker 1: Steve will respond, and the crew is here. Come on, nephew,

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Speaker 1: let's go. Buckle up, hold on tight. We got it

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Speaker 1: for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. I just let

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Speaker 1: you do it today because oh bad, It's okay. Probably

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna let it go down and model subject. My

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Speaker 1: wife is trying to compete with my mother. Dear Stephen, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm a forty year old married man and I'm tired

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Speaker 1: of having the same fight with my wife every year

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Speaker 1: on Mother's Day weekend. I'm truly blessed to have my

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Speaker 1: mom and both of my grandmother's steal alive. So every

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Speaker 1: Mother's Day I drive for three hours each way so

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Speaker 1: I could spend the day with them. And each year,

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Speaker 1: my wife gets upset with me because she says I

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Speaker 1: suspend the day with her. My wife and I don't

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Speaker 1: have any children together, but she has two grown children

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Speaker 1: from a previous marriage that since we've been married, my

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Speaker 1: wife has dinner with her own mother for Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: and I never complained. I think it's great. This year,

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Speaker 1: just like every year, I got my wife some flowers,

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Speaker 1: a card, gave her some cash for Mother's Day. I

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Speaker 1: put some steaks on the grill. We had a nice

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Speaker 1: romanic dinner on Saturday night. The next morning on Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: I got up early, hit the highway. I got home

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Speaker 1: Sunday night round eight pm, and my wife had a

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Speaker 1: big attitude with me. She told me that I'm a

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Speaker 1: mama's boy. Oh, and maybe I should go live with

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Speaker 1: my mama. She asked why I prefer to spend Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day with my mom and grandmother's instead of spending the

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Speaker 1: day with her, And I told her, because you are

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Speaker 1: not my mama. Come on, tom and my mom and

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why this hurts her feeling so much.

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Speaker 1: My wife and my mom are really close and they

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Speaker 1: talk several times a week, so I don't see what

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Speaker 1: the problem is. I honestly do not think that my

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Speaker 1: wife should expect me to go all out for her

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Speaker 1: on Mother's Day. I go all out and spoil her

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Speaker 1: for her birthday, anniversary and other special days. But Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day is not her day? Brother, Steve, am I wrong

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Speaker 1: about this? Please call her? All right, Steve, you know

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Speaker 1: you're a forty year year old married man. You and

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Speaker 1: your wife, y'all are so fortunate and blessed to still

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Speaker 1: have both your moms, and you have both your grandmothers

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Speaker 1: still living. They got some good jeans, that's a blessing. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: Every year for Mother's Day, you and your wife, you

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Speaker 1: both celebrate Mother's Day with your mom's and you drive

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Speaker 1: three hours away to go see your mom and grandma

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Speaker 1: to celebrate. But on the day before, you celebrate Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day with your wife. Now, listen, we all want to

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Speaker 1: be celebrated when it's our day. So in her mind,

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Speaker 1: her husband doesn't celebrate the actual Mother's Day with her,

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Speaker 1: so she is just jealous. That's it. You guys, argue

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Speaker 1: about it. You tell her that's my mom. She tells

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Speaker 1: you you're a mama's boy. But marriage is about compromise.

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Speaker 1: So since your wife and your mom they talk on

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Speaker 1: the phone, they're cool, Why can't y'all have one big

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Speaker 1: Mother's Day celebration. I don't know. Why can't your wife

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Speaker 1: drive down and celebrate with your mom and grandmother's. But

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Speaker 1: then that she may be thinking, my mom doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to do all that. So how about this, y'all rotate,

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Speaker 1: rotate Saturdays and Sundays. So like you did this year,

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Speaker 1: you did Saturday with your wife and then she was

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Speaker 1: with her mom on Sunday and you were with your

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Speaker 1: mom and grandma and am on Sunday. The next year

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Speaker 1: on Saturday, you drive down celebrate with your mom and

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Speaker 1: grandmother's and then they'll understand that you're going to actually

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Speaker 1: spend Mother's Day with your wife and mother in law.

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Speaker 1: All Mother's Day, y'all gotta compromise, because, take it from

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Speaker 1: somebody who's mom and grandmothers have passed away, Mother's Day

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Speaker 1: can be hard. It can be a very painful day.

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Speaker 1: Life is short. Y'all got to stop arguing about this

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Speaker 1: and compromise and come together. And that's my answer. Steve Well,

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Speaker 1: I agree with what Carl is saying, but a little

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Speaker 1: bit in a little bit different way. Carla has a

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Speaker 1: great answer for you, But I'm gonna speak from the

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Speaker 1: male perspective too. I think eventually, what's gonna have to happen.

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Speaker 1: If your wife doesn't see this is you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to go to Route Carlinson. But here's the deal. You

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Speaker 1: got your mom and both your grandmother's still laugh. You

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Speaker 1: don't have any idea how red it is. That's very

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Speaker 1: how rare this is. So every Mother's Day you get

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Speaker 1: in your car, you drive and you spend time with her,

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Speaker 1: and then your wife upset with you because she say

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Speaker 1: you ought to spend a day with her. Now here's

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Speaker 1: the part. Your wife and you don't have any children together,

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Speaker 1: so she's not the mother of your children. Would see

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Speaker 1: you gotta you gotta feel to that end. Y'all, you're

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Speaker 1: not the mother. I've got that you a mother, but

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Speaker 1: you from two kids from a previous marriage and they grown.

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Speaker 1: And since you've been married, your wife has dinner with

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Speaker 1: her own mother every Mother's Day. And I never complain.

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Speaker 1: Every Mother's Day she with her mother. I think it's great.

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Speaker 1: But this year, like every year, I got my wife

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Speaker 1: some flowers, car gave her some cash for Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: put the stakes on the grid. We had the night

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Speaker 1: from man to dinner Saturday night. Next morning on Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: I got a barrel. I hit the highway, I get

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Speaker 1: home apm My wife had a big attitude with me,

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Speaker 1: and then she told the man you are mama's boy,

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Speaker 1: and maybe you should go live with your mama. That

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Speaker 1: right there, that's that's called unfair fighting. That's called unfair fighting.

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Speaker 1: Why is he a mama's boy because he get up

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Speaker 1: and drive three hours to go see his mother and

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Speaker 1: both his grandmothers. When you get up and have dinner

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Speaker 1: with show mother every Mother's Day and probably your two kids,

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Speaker 1: but this man can't go see the woman that bought

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Speaker 1: him in this world. I'll be back all right. Well,

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Speaker 1: Steve will be back at twenty three after the hour,

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Speaker 1: part two of his response Today's Strawberry Letter. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter. My wife

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Speaker 1: is trying to compete with my mother's for the year

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Speaker 1: old man married to his wife, and every Mother's Day

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Speaker 1: they get in an argument. Now, this man's mom is

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Speaker 1: still living and both of his grandmother's, so every Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day he get in a car and he drive three

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Speaker 1: hours each way so he can spend the day with them.

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Speaker 1: And every year his wife get upset because she says

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Speaker 1: he should spend the day with her. Now here's the

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Speaker 1: piece in this letter that fixes it for me. Him

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Speaker 1: and his wife don't have any children together, but she

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Speaker 1: got two grown children from a previous marriage. And since

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Speaker 1: we been married, every year his wife has dinner with

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Speaker 1: her own mother for Mother's Day, and I never complained.

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Speaker 1: I think it's great. Well, this year, like every year,

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Speaker 1: I got my wife some flowers and cars, gave him

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Speaker 1: some cash on Mother's Day, put some stakes on the

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Speaker 1: grill Saturday night on romantic dinner. The next morning, I

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Speaker 1: got up, I hit the highway. He get home on

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Speaker 1: Sunday night. A PM wife got a big attitude with him,

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Speaker 1: told me that he is a mama's boy, and maybe

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Speaker 1: I should go live with my mama. Why the man

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Speaker 1: is trying to honor his mother who bought him in

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Speaker 1: this world. See, if you're a man and you don't

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Speaker 1: have your mama no more, if you're a woman and

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Speaker 1: ain't got your mamma no more, you you you don't

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Speaker 1: know what that is because she, lady, you still got

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Speaker 1: your mother telling you. But Mother's Day get real rough

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Speaker 1: round here, yes, sir, when she gonne Father's Day get

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Speaker 1: real rough round here. See you you you don't know,

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Speaker 1: but to dog him out for going to pay homage

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Speaker 1: to his mother who brought him in the world and

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Speaker 1: the woman who bought her in the world. But while

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Speaker 1: you're sitting at the house having dinner with your mama,

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Speaker 1: come on, you having dinner with your mama. And then

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Speaker 1: you're mad at him because so you wan't at all.

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Speaker 1: You want your mama, your her husband, your keys. He

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Speaker 1: can't get his mama, y'all. Ain't got no kids. He

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Speaker 1: can't say nothing to his grandmama. Oh, lady, you trip it.

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Speaker 1: See that's why I ain't with no compromise. The compromise.

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Speaker 1: It's one day a year. That's the compromise. He got

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Speaker 1: both his grandmama's and he got a mama, and he

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Speaker 1: trying to show some love to them one day a year.

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Speaker 1: He said in the letter. You get spoiled on your birthday,

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Speaker 1: your anniversary, in any other special day, but Mother's Day

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Speaker 1: is not your day. You did you ain't gay this

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Speaker 1: man no children, It's okay. The compromise is you get

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Speaker 1: your mother every year. That's the compromise. He don't never

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Speaker 1: stop that, But he can't go see his You can

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Speaker 1: have yours, but he can't have his that's unfair, that's unfair.

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Speaker 1: And then your wife, you're really close to his mother.

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Speaker 1: They talked several times a week, so you don't see

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Speaker 1: what the problem is. You can't talk to it. But

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Speaker 1: you don't want to give a no day? Why his

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Speaker 1: mother can't have a day? Understand? Yeah, what's up with you?

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Speaker 1: She's jealous herself? Are Yeah? And Carlin's right this jealousy. No,

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Speaker 1: it's selfishness. Yeah, you want it all. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to compromise one day to let this man go see

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Speaker 1: his mama, grandmama while they still here. He gonna lose

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Speaker 1: them one day. Oh my god, oh my good dear,

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Speaker 1: what you're gonna do? How hard you gonna be crying

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Speaker 1: at the funeral? Acting a fool? Stuff over? Yes see,

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Speaker 1: sonn So I don't see the problem. I honestly do

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Speaker 1: not think my wife should expect me to go all

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Speaker 1: out for her on Mother's Day. He giving you the

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Speaker 1: day before to honor you as a mother. You all

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Speaker 1: don't have any children today, but you want to stop

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Speaker 1: this man from loving the one woman that gave him life,

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Speaker 1: which gave him life? Man? Are you kidding me? And

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Speaker 1: you can't give her that day. You get Christmas, you

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Speaker 1: get all other special holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and you want

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Speaker 1: Mother's Day too, You selfish lady. Come on now, how

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Speaker 1: you can't let this man do this? Because let me

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Speaker 1: ask you something, God forbid the day come when he

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Speaker 1: lose his mother, or the day because grandmama. Let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something. And let's say you talk him out

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Speaker 1: of that Mother's Day and he don't get over there,

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Speaker 1: and then she gone, That says, see, he'll never forgive her.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. You think he's gone. Now

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Speaker 1: you're looking at some man that might not forgive you

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Speaker 1: for that. Yeah, because that's a stronger. And how you

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Speaker 1: as a woman can't under who have two children, cannot

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Speaker 1: understand how his mother may feel. Yeah, the man all

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Speaker 1: he trying to do, He ain't dogging you on Mother's Day.

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Speaker 1: He just going to make three older women feel special.

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Speaker 1: If he forty eight, I don't know how his mommy is,

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Speaker 1: but his grandmoma him day old. They left. Yeah, three hours,

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Speaker 1: that's anybody right, anybody coming down here to sit around

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Speaker 1: you and your mama just cook for you last night.

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Speaker 1: Damn you your selfish? You downright selfish. And I don't

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Speaker 1: get it, man, and brother Steve, am I wrong about this? No, Man,

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Speaker 1: you ain't wrong on this one. Your wife has to

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Speaker 1: be a little bit more understanding. I fe a god

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Speaker 1: my mama. You do your mama. I just cook for

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Speaker 1: you last night, than bought you some stuff we'd made love.

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Speaker 1: I didn't cook out on the grid. I didn't gave

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Speaker 1: you some money. What is wrong with you? Do your mamma?

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Speaker 1: Do my mom the problem? Are you trying to out

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Speaker 1: mama me? That's what mamma me? Do your mamma? Do

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Speaker 1: my mama and my grandmama. I'm gonna do them. He

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Speaker 1: ain't a mama's boy. He loved right. Thank you. Punch

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Speaker 1: your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: my mom My MoMA on Instagram or Facebook, and make

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Speaker 1: sure you check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand

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Speaker 1: now coming up at forty six after the hour, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about family feud in Africa. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Dame Harvey Morning Show.