WEBVTT - Best Bits: Eddie & Morgan Open Up About Their Grief 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:03.720 The Best Bits of the Week with Morgan. 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.200 Part one behind the scene with a member of the show. 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:10.840 Here we are. It is part one this weekend of 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:12.520 Best Bits and Eddie is joining me. 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:14.040 Hi, Eddie. 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:16.119 I just told Eddie before we came on, I have 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:20.640 absolutely nothing planned for this because, honestly, like I am 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.560 in a mode right now where I'm just surviving. Yeah, 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:27.120 and I'm doing the bare minimum. Normally That's not my 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.040 personality at all, but it's the only way I'm able 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:30.560 to survive. 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:31.720 Ran Yeah, same here. 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.159 I mean, one step at a time, one day at 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.479 a time, right, Like, it's just kind of what you do. 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.239 Yeah, how are you? How? Like how's the family? Like, 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:42.360 give me a little check in if you can. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.080 Yeah, the family's good. I mean we, like I said, 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.800 it's just one day at a time. Some days are good, 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:53.040 some days are better than others, you know. Just to 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.959 kind of catch people up. At the start of August, 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:00.400 my brother had a stroke. My brother, my older brother, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.400 he's been in this podcast. He's on the he called 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:07.280 in talk about his feedex days he was he's fifty 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:10.920 one years old, and he had a stroke and it's 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.720 a little brain brain bleed in his head and it 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:18.040 paralyzed the left side of his body mainly limbs, not 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:19.680 so much his his face. 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.240 Or anything like his speat or anything. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:23.520 Just like his left arm he couldn't move it, his 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.720 left leg couldn't move it and really had a hard 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:26.679 time just moving. 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:30.720 So that happened, and then. 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.920 Two three three days later, my dad had a freak accident, 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:39.760 fell down some stairs, and you know, he ended up 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.440 passing away. And it was just kind of like a boom. 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:47.319 It was a huge bomb in my life because everything 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:49.400 was just so sudden, like, yeah. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.760 None of it was planned for nothing. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:55.800 You could be nothing nothing, So yeah, it's it's that was. 0:01:56.120 --> 0:02:00.080 It's been a few weeks and we've kind of I 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.480 have personally kind of just gone back into the routine 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:07.800 of my life, which is chaotic and busy. My brother 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:13.360 his whole rehab and like his recovery was kind of 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.440 priority one after my dad passed, Like, all right, so 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:21.440 Dad's gone, what do we do with my brother? Like 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.560 we got to figure his stuff out because he didn't 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:25.440 have health insurance and. 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.160 That was a whole other deal. 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.120 And luckily my sister and I we were kind of 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:33.400 we're wired differently, my sister and I her and I 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.400 are wired the same, but weird wired differently than the 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:38.200 rest of our family, where like, all right, we got 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:38.880 to get crap done. 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:39.520 Let's get it done. 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.720 So he kind of went into action versus the emotional 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:43.320 side of things. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:45.360 Yes, we went into like how do how do we 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:48.520 get through this? My mom obviously has been a wreck, 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.560 and and my mom and my sister are really close, 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:53.360 so my mom's like, let me take care of mom. 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:56.160 You take care of bro, got it? Those are our 0:02:56.200 --> 0:03:01.600 assignments and so so yeah, so my brother other, you know, 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:03.800 didn't have health insurance, so immediately we had to just 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.240 kind of go like, how are we going to pay 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.960 for this stuff? And we kind of got our money 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:11.799 together and we're like, well, that's not gonna that's not 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:14.320 going to do anything. So my sister kind of made 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.920 the hard, hard decision to be like should we do 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.240 a GoFundMe? Like it's just not our style, and I said, 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:23.760 you do whatever you think we need to do, and 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.880 she's like okay, So she set up a GoFundMe and 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.480 Morgan the amount of money that we were able to 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:34.040 raise from that GoFundMe, I mean just from friends and 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:38.880 family and the B Team Facebook page, which I didn't 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:40.680 even know it made it to the B Team Facebook 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.400 page like it had gotten on there somehow. And then 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.000 my sister texted me, She's like, hey, we're getting like 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.120 a lot of money from B Team members. Did you 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.160 say something? And I'm like, what were I say? Said 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.600 something like I haven't even gone on Instagram. I haven't 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:56.120 said anything, and she's just like, well, it's like B 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:57.040 Team stepping up. 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.480 Yeah, And I was like, oh my gosh, this is 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:00.000 a maze. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:04.160 So it was a huge, huge, huge, huge blessing in 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.120 that time where we really didn't know what we're gonna 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.120 do too, where like, holy crap, this is actually possible 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.400 where my brother can get some good treatment. And because 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.640 he's all alone, he's not married, he doesn't have family, 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:16.000 he's all alone in Pennsylvania. 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:20.960 And so that happened. And then my cousin who lives 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:21.880 in Florida. 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:23.719 He was there for my dad. He's very close to 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:26.640 our family and he was there for my dad when 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.479 he passed and he said, listen, man, like my wife 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:33.400 is a occupational therapist, so what she does for a living, 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:36.400 he's going to need some occupational therapy after a stroke. Aunt, 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.960 just send it to Florida with me and we'll kind 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:41.919 of set up what he needs, physical therapy, cognitive therapy, 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:45.680 occupational therapy. Like my wife knows all these people, so 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:47.440 let's just do it that way. That way you can 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.640 get back to work and mom can get back to 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:52.719 Texas and we can kind of figure everything out. I'm 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.040 telling you, man, I'm getting emotional just thinking about it, because. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.240 It was in a hard, hard time. 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.960 It was a light a very very dark time, and 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:05.080 we're just so thankful for the way everything's playing out, 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:06.040 Like it's just great. 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:08.360 You just had a lot of people stepping up and 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.200 showing up for you. Huge when you're in such a 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:13.719 dark moment and you see people showing up and you're like, 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:15.800 where are you coming from? Why are you here? You 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.280 don't have to be It's okay, Like we'll figure it out, yeah, 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.640 you know, but you were like no, we're you know, 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:22.359 people were like, no, we're going to step in and 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:25.599 we're going to do this right because you guys deserve that. 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.080 That's so awesome. And I remember you telling me that 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.640 story when when you had first gotten back, and I 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.520 think it's so awesome of your cousin who have stepped 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.080 up and done that. So is your brother's recovery going well? 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.840 Then, So while we record this in a couple of days, 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:41.440 I'm going to pick him up in Florida and we're 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.520 going to take him back home because he's made significant improvements. 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:47.800 He's been able to walk on his own without a 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:53.000 walker his uh, he's able to write and do everything 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:56.080 or not right because he's right handed, but you know everything, 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.880 he's got motion. He's got motion. You can move his limbs, 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:02.400 he can kind of he's a little slower, he can't 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:05.880 do everything at full speed. But he's been cleared to 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.400 go back home, which he has stairs, and again he's 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.000 by himself, so he's gonna have to drive places. And 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.480 they've cleared him. Like, Okay, I think we're at the moment, 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.440 we're at the point where he's able to do all 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:17.520 that stuff a little bit. 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.880 Yeah, So I'm gonna take him back and once. 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:22.520 Set them up, ready to go back to or is 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:23.480 he like he's so. 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:24.120 Ready to go back? 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:24.400 Okay? 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:27.479 I mean he has two cats, Oh he hasn't and 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:29.479 they weren't able to come with him. Yeah, So the 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.359 like priority one for him is like I need to 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.840 get back to my cats and we're like, Priority one 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:35.839 is you need to get walking and driving again, Like 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:36.680 that's what you need to. 0:06:36.600 --> 0:06:40.160 Get somebody out there to take care imagine again. 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:41.919 And he's been telling me about his neighbors and his 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.200 friends that are like, man, everyone's stepping up. Everyone's been 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:44.640 able to go to. 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:46.720 The house, they take videos of the cats, they hang 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:47.320 out with them. 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.960 He's like, it's just everything everyone's just been doing being 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.240 so great to us at this moment, and we're just 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:54.680 very very thankful for everyone. 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.279 Well, I think it's really hard to like when you 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:58.520 you go in day to day life and you get 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.599 used to your life right and something just comes and 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.520 blows it up, and you're like, I have to lean 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:06.239 on people that I haven't been leaning on because life 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.040 was just working for all of us, you know, the 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.920 motion was happening. I didn't need anything or they didn't 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.360 need anything. And then when you see like the community 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:17.760 that you have around you, that you did build along 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.600 the way of your life start to show up for you. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.760 When that moment does come, because it's inevitably going to 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:29.320 like that's insane, that feeling and that experience emits something 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.320 really dark, You're like, Okay, I really want to cry 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:34.480 right now, but like thank you at the same time, 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.760 and like my heart feels happy, but like it's not. Yeah, 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:39.240 it's a weird emotion too. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.840 It is, it is, And you're right, you do see 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.800 you see it from a different perspective because we're all 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:48.640 just a little selfish and we live our life just 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.440 thinking of you know, what I do every day and 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.520 how am I going to do this every day? And 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:56.000 but when something like that happens and you have no 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.120 control and you're just like I have no control, and 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.400 everyone steps up, you start saying like, wow, we have 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:06.160 created a community of people. We have affected people in 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:09.280 different ways where they want to help us. And after 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.480 this is done, I'm going to look at that differently 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:14.559 when someone else, when someone needs help, it's like, guys, 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:15.840 we need to all step in and help them. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:16.119 Now. 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:19.520 It's a beautiful thing. And unfortunately it takes something really 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.600 really bad in our lives for us to realize that. 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.040 And I hate that part, but we kind of need 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:27.920 it for it to happen for us to even think 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:28.440 about that. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.280 So well, And I don't know if you're like this too, 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:33.440 but I don't like asking for help. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:34.920 I don't And that's what I'm saying. My sister and 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:36.440 I were like I don't want to do this, Like 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.640 I really don't. Is there any way we can get 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:40.080 a credit card and pay for all this stuff? And 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:43.920 my sister's like, we can, but we want to do that, 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.840 and like Mom's gonna need help too after this, and like, oh, 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:47.439 I don't know. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.280 And it becomes overwhelming and you become so overwhelmed that 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:52.160 you're like, Okay, I don't have any other option but 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:56.439 to utilize option like my resources that I have. Yeah, 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:59.800 it is that, Like it's certainly an overwhelming feeling to 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:03.200 be like, my life is really hard, but I know 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:04.959 your life is really hard, and I don't want to 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:06.959 ask you for anything, and I don't want you to 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:10.120 stop what you're doing to fix me or to do 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.320 things for me, like I'll figure it out. That's a 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.240 constant thing that I battle whenever I'm in like a 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.400 really hard places, like I can't ask for help. I'm 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.480 not good at it. Yeah, people just kind of have 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:24.840 to force it. Like I had a girlfriend literally force 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.000 for me a grilled cheese or sitting in the Sonic 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:31.080 parking lot eat the freaking girl cheese. I'm like, I 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.080 don't want to, Like there's no part of me that 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:36.319 wants to. And she's like, just eat it please, and 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:38.920 like that's the stuff that like people show up to do. 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:39.320 Yeah. 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:41.719 Sure, And you're laughing in the moment, but you're like, 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.720 what is wrong with me? You know, I don't know 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:46.280 if you had any of those that have happened to 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.440 you recently where you're like, what is going on with 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:50.360 my brain and my body? 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:54.000 You know, it's funny because yes, I don't know. I 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:58.480 don't really know how to like grieve. Obviously no one 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.800 really does, but and I don't normally do this. 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:01.679 It was just weird. 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:05.079 And it was at the hospital in Pennsylvania because so 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.839 the hospital my brother lives in Pennsylvania, like maybe an 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.119 hour outside of Philadelphia, and so a lot of Philadelphia 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.440 Eagles fans and we had been in the hospital for 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.960 four days, like just back and forth. My brother was 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.160 on the seventh floor, my dad was on the second floor, 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.080 and it was just just every day, back and forth, 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:24.920 back and forth, crying a lot, and joking a little 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.679 bit with family, crying again, and it's just like it. 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:29.120 Was just that kind of like week. 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.520 And one day I decided to wear a Dallas Cowboy 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.959 shirt in Philadelphia Eagles territory, and I just thought it 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:36.680 would be funny. 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.200 And I'm Morgan. I would never do this ever. 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:39.960 Ever. 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:41.880 I'm not that kind of fan to go up to 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.160 a Rando stranger and be like, hey, look at my shirt. 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.840 But there was a guy walking towards me. And the 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:50.120 hospital is not a place to joke like, it's just not. 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:52.320 But for some reason, I was like, watch this, this 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.120 will be funny. And I was with my whole family 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.640 and I had my cow underneath my sweatshirt. I had my 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.840 cowboy shirt and there was a guy walking with an 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:04.040 Eagle's shirt and I say, hey, man, watch this. 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:06.959 And my whole family's like, what is that he doing? 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:09.960 And the guy is like, what are you doing? 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.840 And so I pick up my sweatshirt and it's the 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:17.200 Cowboys star and I go boom and he goes okay, 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.800 I don't care, and he walks off, and my whole 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.040 family's like, what's wrong with you? 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.120 And I said, I don't know, honestly, I don't know 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:24.719 why I did that. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.040 And then my cousin goes bro that wasn't even a 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.840 Philadelphia Eagles shirt. I think that was like an elementary school, 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:32.360 you know, So it. 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.920 Was like, that's probably why he didn't understand what with that? 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:36.280 No, we had no idea. 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:38.760 And in my mind, I'm like, and my sister, I think, 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.840 is the one that said, you know what, just pain 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:46.200 makes you do weird things. So yes, that was my 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.200 moment of like what am I doing? I feel like 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:49.880 I don't have no control over my body right now? 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:51.400 Yeah, like out of body experience. 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.760 Yes, it was so weird, Morgan, you know what it is. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.040 And I want us to take a quicker little break here, 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.680 but when we come back, I'm gonna ask you, like, 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.319 how how the grieving process has been going for Okay, 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.520 because we can get to my grieving too. 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:06.920 It's been interesting. Okay. 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:13.960 We have the two parallels here, right, You are grieving 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:17.640 somebody very important to you that's no longer here, my dad. 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.480 I'm grieving somebody that's still alive that I'm probably never 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:21.640 going to speak to again. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:22.080 Yeah. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.400 Both grief just different kinds. 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:27.360 Different ways, right, It's life, just different ways of doing things. 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.280 Yeah, and grief comes in a whole lot of different forms. 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:30.760 That's right. 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.040 How have you has your process of been grieving? 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:34.120 Go? 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.480 Like, maybe there's been funny moments, sad moments, like what 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.760 has that grieving process been like for you so far? 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:45.480 Gosh, I don't know if I have completely grieved. I 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.360 think that the process of, well, my dad was in 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:56.120 the hospital for five days, you know, just nothing was 0:12:56.160 --> 0:13:00.360 getting better was the main grieving process, because it's like 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:06.360 so much sadness but fun to see family members. Then 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:10.360 sat again, and just the roller coaster ride of like 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:14.200 I think I said bye to my dad, probably I 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:18.280 don't know, twenty times, you know, and then and then 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.400 the nurses would come in and be like, hey, his 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.400 heart beats getting strong again, like okay, okay, and then 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.000 I would come back, you know, a few hours later 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:27.000 and like, no, it's not. 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:28.680 It's getting worse. 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.720 Roller coaster ride of like not knowing what's. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:32.560 Going to happen, morgan. 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.480 And it was like that for five days, and so 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.440 maybe even seven days, use I don't remember. But so 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:44.200 I think at the end of it there was a 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:51.280 big feeling of peace of like, Okay, he's no longer suffering. 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:57.640 What happened has happened, and he's in a better place, 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.640 and so many things kind of came together, you know. 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.560 There's a weird part of all this that was that 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.559 just kind of resonated in me while it was happening, 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.280 was that my mom told me when my brother was 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.640 in the hospital after he had a stroke. My mom 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:17.600 said that my dad said, you know what he told 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.080 my brother. He said, for some reason, I feel like 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:24.560 Eddie's going to come and see you. And my brother 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.720 was like you think and he's like, yeah, I don't know. 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:30.240 Something's telling me that Eddie's going to come visit you. No, 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:33.080 and not one there wasn't one thought in my mind 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:35.400 here in Nashville thinking like I'm going to go see 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:38.280 my brother because I knew he was in stable condition 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:42.240 and that he was just he was okay, yeah, and 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:45.120 that all he needed was therapy to get back to normal. 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.680 So I thought like, maybe I'll go see him in 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:51.280 a month or so, but not I didn't even think 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.000 about coming to visit him in the hospital. 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:54.120 Oh my gosh. 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:58.080 But somehow my dad knew that I was going to 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:00.960 be there, and so there was also that feeling of 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:05.160 like like, look, look how it's all kind of coming together. 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:07.480 Dad knew that I needed to be here. I didn't 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:09.280 know that I needed to be here. Now we're all here, 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:11.400 and so that's. 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.359 Also hard because it's not the reason you wanted. 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:15.680 To be there, absolutely not. But it's almost like my 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:21.920 dad knew and I do. I do believe that God 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.840 tells us things and we don't know what they mean 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:29.120 at the time, but he knows. And by my dad 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.560 saying that, it's like God was telling him, like, this 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:33.920 is going to happen, but it's going to be a 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.760 good thing because your family's going to get together. And 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:42.000 my family we've always been just we were close at 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:46.040 the beginning, and then as we got older, I moved 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:48.680 to Nashville. My sister lived in Texas, and my brother 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.400 lived in Pennsylvania, so just we kind of separated a 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.360 little bit, and I would talk to my parents maybe twice, 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.280 maybe once every two or three weeks, but not as 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:58.200 much as I wanted to. 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:01.760 My dad and I didn't talk that that much. I 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:02.440 would text him. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.200 We would text each other little things back and forth, 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.920 but never like real good conversations for a lot. That 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:10.080 just wasn't our thing. So like, I think my dad 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.040 always wanted us to be closer, you know. I think 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.560 he always wanted us to be a close family, live 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:17.160 close together, help each other out. 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:18.560 Because he would say that too, just like. 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.520 Why don't you guys, Like, why don't you guys move 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.200 like in the same town so you guys can be 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:22.880 there for each other and. 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:24.440 Be like, Nah, Dad, I live in Nashville. Are you 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:25.240 talking about? Like? 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.440 But I think he wanted us to be closer, and 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:34.080 this has definitely brought us all closer. Not a great way, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.320 not the ideal way. But I talk to my brother 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.840 every day now, twice a day, three times a day. 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:42.000 My sister and I talk. 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:44.920 Way more than we've ever talked, you know, my mom, 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.040 I'm like, come on, come stay with us for three weeks. 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.000 I stayed with for three months. I don't care, you know, 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.680 So I don't know. It's just a lot of the 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:59.960 grieving process has been thinking that this happened for a reason. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:03.480 How long did it take you to be like this 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:04.359 happened for a reason. 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.680 I would say pretty quick. I would say pretty quick. 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:12.240 I mean the shock of what had happened and kind 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:16.560 of just being there for that. There was a lot 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.320 of confusion, why did this happen? Like I don't understand, 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.480 like what doesn't make any sense? But then once you 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.639 passed and everyone started telling stories, I'll be like, you know, 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.520 your dad said this, and then my sister sayings like 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.320 you know Dad always said this, and you know, like 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.399 there were too many stories, and even when my cousins 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.080 came in, they were just like, did you know your 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:38.560 dad like said this. We're like, ah, this is all 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.960 making sense a little bit. You know, in the darkness 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.720 of all this, a lot of stuff is making sense here. 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.520 So with that, I think it's brought a lot of 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:53.280 us a lot of peace. My mom is having the 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:55.639 hardest hardest time because she's lost her a little you know, 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:56.560 her partner. 0:17:57.080 --> 0:18:00.240 And she's all alone and she doesn't know. 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:03.000 What to do, and so she has her days where 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.720 she's just like, really, you know what, it's I'm having 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:07.280 a good day. I saw my sister, she came to 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.159 visit me, and then later on that night she's like, 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:10.399 I'm having such a hard time. 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:11.960 It's just tough. 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.120 Those ups and downs. Man, when you think you're doing 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:17.399 really well and then it just comes out of nowhere, 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.560 yeah and hits you and you're like, I was fine, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.760 why why is this happening in this moment right now? 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.000 And you're like you want to be mad at yourself 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.760 because you're like, no, no, no, no, we're moving forward, right, 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:32.960 But then you're like, Okay, well some reason I have 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.320 to feel that I don't like it. Does it feel good? 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:36.600 Go away? 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:38.119 And that's that's the thing too. 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:39.520 When I talk to my mom, it's like I want 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:41.639 to tell her, like, Mom, it's gonna be okay, Like 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:43.960 you're gonna be good. It's just it's gonna take time, 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:47.439 but you're gonna eventually know how to do things by 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.719 yourself and it's gonna feel okay and it's gonna feel normal. 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.640 But she doesn't understand that right now, and she doesn't 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.520 need to understand that right now. She's going through her 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.120 thing and it's really really hard, and all we can 0:18:58.119 --> 0:18:59.960 do is just be there for her well in her. 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:04.080 The heartache of that. Like, if there's something that I 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.280 wish as humans we never experienced, it's heartache, I know, 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.000 you know, Like you want to talk about one of 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:11.240 the worst feelings in the world that you have zero 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:15.760 control over and your whole body feels it. Is heartache 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:19.359 of any kind, whether you've lost somebody in your life, 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:22.439 lost a partner, lost a pet, like the heartache of 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:26.240 losing because you can't the only thing that mends it 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:29.359 is time, and time never comes fast enough. When you're hurting, 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.320 you can know in your mind that two years down 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.399 the road, this will be a blip on my radar, 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.080 I'll be okay, and I'll be able to move past this. 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.760 But in that moment, in like the suck of all 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.960 of it, you can't even see two feet in front 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:47.800 of you, let alone think that this is going to 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:48.919 get over anytime soon. 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:50.159 Impossible. 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:54.960 And that's what's the hardest part about any type of heartache. 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:57.560 Like I genuinely just wish as humans we didn't have 0:19:57.600 --> 0:19:59.320 to experience, but we have to in order to know 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:04.280 what's good and to your point, what is important, what matters, 0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:08.560 and how to appreciate those things. We have to have 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:11.320 loss to appreciate the things that are in our lives. 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:12.720 And that sucks. 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:13.320 Yeah. 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:15.280 I don't know that there's anything that will ever make 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:16.960 it okay in my mind. 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:18.960 Isn't it weird that the heart hurts? 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:19.840 Yeah? 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:23.000 Like, how does the heart hurt? Why does the heart hurt? 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:25.080 But it really does feel like your heart is breaking. 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:29.000 Oh yeah, And they do say people die of heartbreak. 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:32.320 That's what I worry about my mom. 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:35.119 I think because you guys are surrounding her with so 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.679 much love. It will be different for her. But I 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:40.960 do think that exists with those couples who they're the 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.840 only two they have left. It's just them and one 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:46.200 of them is left behind. And I think that's when 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:49.359 that happens. I think when there's family involved and you 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:52.280 have a community around you, it makes it really hard 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:54.160 for that to happen because you have so many people 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.000 pushing to be like checking in, are you okay? How's today? 0:20:57.480 --> 0:20:59.840 And I can't not think. I can't not respond because 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:01.720 I want to make sure they know that like I'm here. 0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:04.080 I'm just I'm not great, but I'm here. Yeah, you 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.800 know what I mean. Having support is everything, and so like, 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:10.560 on that further extensive level, it's like those people who 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:12.920 don't have support and experience. 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:14.280 That I do want to say this too, you know, 0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:16.640 because I had a buddy of mine who lost a son, 0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:20.240 I don't know, four years ago or so somewhere around there, 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:23.640 and I remember thinking I don't know what to say 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:27.920 to him, I don't know what to do for him. 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:33.280 And now being on this kind of this end of it, 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:37.919 it shouldn't be an awkward thing when anyone still today 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:39.840 comes and says, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. How's 0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:42.320 everything going, Like, how's your brother doing, I'm so sorry 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:43.760 about your dad, how's your mom doing? 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:44.320 All this stuff? 0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:47.680 It's it actually feels good to talk about it and 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:50.919 not forget it and be like thanks for asking. Like 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:54.640 she is, she's doing okay, she still has hard time 0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:57.920 whatever it is. But I remember thinking like I don't 0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:01.560 know what to say, and I think now I understand 0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:05.080 what to say, Like just check to see how they're doing, 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:08.800 because anyone going through that really does not want to 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:09.479 feel alone. 0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:14.880 But they're gonna push everything away because they're hurting. It's 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:17.360 natural to push everything away because you just you want 0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:19.639 to You're barely getting out of the bed in the morning, 0:22:19.960 --> 0:22:22.399 you're barely eating the food, putting your clothes on, brushing 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:25.359 your hair, brushing your teeth, existing as a day to 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:29.080 day human, yeah, let alone wanting to bother anybody with 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:33.159 that much heaviness. Yeah, you know, besides the direct people 0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:35.720 like I'm sure your wife and kids have been great 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:40.160 support and distraction for you, for sure, but like they're 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:42.800 still existing with you in day to day and like, 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:45.280 how do we manage this with him every day and 0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:47.680 make sure that he knows like we're here, but also 0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:49.600 trying to not make him talk about it all the time. 0:22:50.640 --> 0:22:53.239 You know, it's that delicate balance. But back to your 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:55.800 point of like, just just reach out. It doesn't have 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:57.040 to be anything special to say hi. 0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:01.280 It really doesn't, like I'm here, Hi, and and too. 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:03.440 I always wonder, like, oh, do we want to talk 0:23:03.480 --> 0:23:08.080 about him anymore? But I love talking about my dad. 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:11.400 I love thinking about my dad. I love it when 0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:13.719 people tell me, like, man, your dad one time he 0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:16.239 did this and it was so funny, like it, I 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:16.640 love it. 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:18.000 I love that. 0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:19.960 And I think that when you're on the other side 0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:21.760 of it, you're don't you really don't even know? 0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:25.000 Do we want to talk about him or her? 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:26.560 You want to keep their memory alive? 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:27.119 You really do? 0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:29.159 I love it, Like I love hearing stories about my 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:30.000 dad now from people. 0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:32.800 Do you have any of your stories you want to 0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:33.920 share about him? Oh? 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:36.320 Man, I mean my dad was just a jokes jokester. 0:23:36.960 --> 0:23:40.280 I think one of the stories that always sticks out 0:23:40.400 --> 0:23:43.040 is I don't even know if I can say this, because. 0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:44.840 I don't know what that means. 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:49.080 We're going. He was just I don't even know if 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:49.639 I can say this. 0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:54.439 He would take an awkward situment, situation and put a 0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:56.880 spotlight on it and be like this is funny. I'm 0:23:56.880 --> 0:24:00.080 going to take advantage of it. We were all, oh, 0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:01.440 my gosh, I don't even know if I can say, 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:05.879 I will say it. We were at a Japanese restaurant 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:09.280 and you know where they cook in front of you. Yeah, 0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:11.560 and the guy that was cooking had a very thick accent, 0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:17.359 and one of us at the table didn't even realize 0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:22.080 that we had repeated what the chef said in that accent. 0:24:23.000 --> 0:24:25.920 No, and we were like, what did you just say? 0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:28.920 And the person didn't realize they said it, Oh my gosh, 0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:30.640 Oh my gosh, I can't believe I said that out loud. 0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:33.000 And so my dad was like, this is great. So 0:24:33.080 --> 0:24:36.800 my dad got the waiter, the server and said, hey, 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:40.560 I will pay you, you know, twenty bucks if you 0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:43.200 can come back to the table and tell this person 0:24:43.320 --> 0:24:48.760 that the cook heard you and he wants a verbal apology. 0:24:49.400 --> 0:24:52.800 And so so the server came back and said, did 0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:59.680 somebody mock our our cook? And the person's like, yes, 0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:03.560 I did. No, yeah, he heard you and he would 0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:06.439 like for you to apologize to him. And like the 0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:08.520 person was like, okay, just tell me, where do I 0:25:08.680 --> 0:25:10.600 go to the kitchen? Yeah, follow me to the kitchen. 0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:12.640 And they started walking to the kitchen till the start 0:25:12.760 --> 0:25:15.560 was like, I'm just joking your dad, Your dad, you know, 0:25:15.680 --> 0:25:17.680 he faded to do this or whatever, and it's like, 0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:20.040 oh my god, and my dad was cracking up. 0:25:20.160 --> 0:25:22.879 That's the kind of stuff he would do all the time. 0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:25.280 He's like, I'm just going to make so much fun 0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:27.560 out of this, and he would like I think every 0:25:27.560 --> 0:25:29.400 time anyone talks about my dad, like, oh my gosh, 0:25:29.400 --> 0:25:31.520 he's just that type. At the time he did this, 0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:34.480 it's ridiculous. It was so dumb, but we all laugh. 0:25:34.520 --> 0:25:35.960 We've been laughing for years about it. 0:25:36.080 --> 0:25:38.879 Like he was just always making people laugh different. 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:40.560 That's what he did. He was a jokester. He was 0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:42.280 just a big clown. 0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:44.479 So he did And that's hard. That's it. That's a 0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:48.199 big personality. Especially for your mom. Oh yeah, you know, 0:25:48.520 --> 0:25:52.639 she had this huge light in her life and to 0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:54.920 fill that is going to be really difficult. 0:25:55.200 --> 0:25:59.720 What's really cool is that my dad towards the when 0:25:59.720 --> 0:26:01.800 he was younger, I would say maybe when he was 0:26:01.840 --> 0:26:05.480 like thirty or forty, he had bought a children's home 0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:08.639 in South Texas and this was like an orphanage in 0:26:08.680 --> 0:26:09.240 South Texas. 0:26:09.280 --> 0:26:10.520 I didn't know this. I had no idea. 0:26:10.560 --> 0:26:12.119 I was still young back then, so I had no 0:26:12.160 --> 0:26:14.639 idea that he did this. But he had enough money 0:26:14.680 --> 0:26:18.080 to buy a children's home and he would go and 0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:20.920 like hang out with the kids and do whatever, play 0:26:20.960 --> 0:26:23.119 games with them. And there was a kid that he 0:26:23.200 --> 0:26:25.479 kind of just connected with all the time. Well he 0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:30.040 grew up, and I guess they never really saw each 0:26:30.040 --> 0:26:31.240 other anymore. It was just kind of one of those 0:26:31.240 --> 0:26:34.200 things like I remember him, he was cool. Well, later on, 0:26:34.359 --> 0:26:36.720 like i'd say, like ten years ago or five years ago, 0:26:36.880 --> 0:26:39.399 my dad had to stay he had kind of like 0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:42.000 goes in financial problems, financial trouble, and him and my 0:26:42.040 --> 0:26:44.119 mom had to stay at a hotel. They didn't have 0:26:44.160 --> 0:26:45.720 a lot of money, so they're like, we need to 0:26:45.720 --> 0:26:47.800 stay at a hotel. Well, the manager of that hotel 0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.760 was one of the kids that was at the children's home, 0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:52.879 and he says, Oh, my gosh, I don't know if 0:26:52.920 --> 0:26:53.439 you remember me. 0:26:53.480 --> 0:26:57.159 I'm so and so, and he's like, yeah, I remember you, 0:26:57.320 --> 0:26:57.920 of course. 0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:00.320 And it's just like wow, this is so crazy staying 0:27:00.320 --> 0:27:02.080 here at the hotels, Like yeah, we may be staying 0:27:02.080 --> 0:27:04.080 here for a while. Don't really know what our situation is. 0:27:04.520 --> 0:27:07.320 And so the guy was like, you know what, you 0:27:07.359 --> 0:27:08.040 stay here as long. 0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:09.000 As you want. 0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:11.320 Like I'm the manager of this hotel. I run this hotel, 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:15.439 like you have a place to stay. Wow, it's stuff 0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:19.120 like that where it's just like, God, one, I didn't 0:27:19.119 --> 0:27:22.800 know Dad had bought a children's home, Like that's crazy. 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.000 Yeah, I'm surprised him or your mom never like. 0:27:25.160 --> 0:27:28.320 No, I lied that, never talked about that. 0:27:28.440 --> 0:27:30.520 And I'm like, Dad, no, wonder you liked when I 0:27:30.560 --> 0:27:32.560 adopted when I was a foster parent, Like he would 0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:35.960 always be like this is awesome, But I've never told 0:27:35.960 --> 0:27:38.040 me that this is what he enjoyed that and that 0:27:38.119 --> 0:27:39.560 was like something that he liked to do too. 0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:43.520 But like, Dad, talk to me like you missed a 0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:48.360 whole chapter of y'all's life that he never Yeah unformed. Yeah, wow, Okay, 0:27:49.000 --> 0:27:50.960 that's a really cool story. And those are some really 0:27:51.040 --> 0:27:52.600 really good stories to share, Eddie. 0:27:52.640 --> 0:27:53.800 Thank you, Yeah, thank you, Mary. 0:27:54.119 --> 0:27:56.679 I'm glad we could have have it. On a on 0:27:56.720 --> 0:27:59.159 a positive note, We're going to take a quick break 0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:00.760 and then I think I need your help. 0:28:01.040 --> 0:28:03.239 Come on, I'm here for you after these two here 0:28:03.320 --> 0:28:04.240 we're here for each other. 0:28:07.880 --> 0:28:11.160 Like you're going through the most difficult thing you've been 0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:13.560 through and you're okay and you're not emotional, And I'm 0:28:13.600 --> 0:28:17.200 sitting over here just like emotional. Right, how are you 0:28:17.240 --> 0:28:17.600 doing it? 0:28:17.640 --> 0:28:17.720 Like? 0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:21.360 I like, if I'm being honest with you any today. 0:28:21.160 --> 0:28:23.640 It's been so hard I could tell. 0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:27.800 I could tell like I can't even tell you that 0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:30.400 without crying. Yeah, Like, I'll just go to the bathroom. 0:28:31.200 --> 0:28:32.919 You guys make fun of our couch in the bathroom. 0:28:32.960 --> 0:28:34.560 This time we have couches in the bathroom. 0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:35.359 Couch. 0:28:35.400 --> 0:28:36.680 I didn't lay down, but I sat there and I 0:28:36.760 --> 0:28:38.640 just cried in the bathroom instead of having to sit 0:28:38.680 --> 0:28:42.320 on a toilet because I don't It just comes out 0:28:42.360 --> 0:28:47.320 of nowhere. And like, but you're going you went through 0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:52.280 so much and you're you're doing so incredible with how 0:28:52.320 --> 0:28:56.320 strong you are, And I don't know that this is 0:28:56.880 --> 0:28:59.760 such a stupid thing to feel so sad about, like 0:29:00.440 --> 0:29:03.160 because it was somebody who just said, you know this 0:29:03.200 --> 0:29:03.880 isn't going to work. 0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:09.440 Well, one, it's not stupid. Two you are you went 0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:12.600 all in and that's that's a hard thing for you 0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:15.440 to go all in into. Something and then it not 0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:19.320 work and it be it blindside slight side you too, 0:29:19.400 --> 0:29:23.280 like something to blindside you like that is you don't 0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:25.360 know how to prepare yourself for it, and that's why 0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:26.480 it's going to take you a while. 0:29:27.640 --> 0:29:27.840 You know. 0:29:28.000 --> 0:29:29.040 It was It's like. 0:29:29.040 --> 0:29:31.840 My dad, like, if it would have been cancer, I 0:29:31.840 --> 0:29:34.960 guess I could have really just like known that this 0:29:35.120 --> 0:29:37.200 was coming or it was something like that. But since 0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:39.120 it was just an accident, I wasn't ready for this. 0:29:39.560 --> 0:29:41.640 None of us were ready for this. Same with you. 0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:45.560 You were blindsided. You weren't ready for this, and you 0:29:45.640 --> 0:29:49.200 had opened up everything. You're like, I haven't heard you 0:29:49.240 --> 0:29:53.360 on Caroline Hobbies podcast, you know, like yeah, you're like 0:29:54.280 --> 0:29:56.719 all out, this is the best thing in the world, 0:29:57.040 --> 0:30:01.880 like he is blah blah blah blah blah. But and 0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:04.000 that just came to a quick halt. Yeah, that's not 0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:06.000 gonna be easy, Morgan. It's not gonna be easy. And 0:30:06.840 --> 0:30:09.440 you're not stupid for feeling this way or acting like this. 0:30:09.440 --> 0:30:10.880 This is completely understandable. 0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:14.520 No, But I also just you know, you get mad 0:30:14.560 --> 0:30:18.120 at yourself. You're like, why do I care that much? 0:30:18.720 --> 0:30:20.280 You know, like it's one of those where I'm like, 0:30:20.400 --> 0:30:25.160 just stop. Just he did it. Why can't you do it? 0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:28.640 You know, like other people can just turn it on 0:30:28.680 --> 0:30:31.600 and off. And I'm sitting here like, Okay, I'm gonna 0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:33.800 be a little blubber mess because I don't know how 0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:36.840 else to get all these feelings out. This is how 0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:39.880 I exist in the world, and it makes me mad 0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:43.640 at myself. So then I'm like sad, and then I'm 0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:46.040 mad on top of it, you know, like I should 0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:47.680 be able to just talk about these things and be. 0:30:47.680 --> 0:30:50.880 Okay, No, no, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be. And 0:30:50.920 --> 0:30:53.080 we're all different, you know, we're all different. 0:30:53.200 --> 0:30:56.040 But you are so strong in everything that's going on, 0:30:56.080 --> 0:30:58.920 and I'm like, you're literally looking at me, and I 0:30:58.960 --> 0:31:01.840 look like I'm a kid that somebody just like really 0:31:01.920 --> 0:31:06.040 hurt my dog. Basically, what's what it feels like. 0:31:06.240 --> 0:31:09.560 Min Own is a different, complete, different situation. Like if 0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:14.040 you would have seen me three weeks ago, two weeks ago, yeah, 0:31:14.160 --> 0:31:17.960 I wouldn't have been like this. But I've prayed really 0:31:17.960 --> 0:31:20.840 really hard, and I've. 0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:23.320 You know, I just. 0:31:25.040 --> 0:31:27.920 Like I said, I've just I've come. I feel a 0:31:28.000 --> 0:31:31.120 complete piece with all of it. I don't like it, 0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:35.560 but I'm at peace with it. You're gonna be there too. 0:31:36.600 --> 0:31:39.320 You will get there. You will get there too. And 0:31:39.320 --> 0:31:40.560 this is so hard right now. And you know what, 0:31:40.640 --> 0:31:43.200 our job is really hard when you're going through something 0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:45.520 like this, which is I'm so thankful to Bobby and 0:31:45.560 --> 0:31:48.160 Scuba and everyone letting me have my time, because there's 0:31:48.360 --> 0:31:51.160 no way I could have even thought about coming back 0:31:51.240 --> 0:31:53.640 or even doing videos because I thought about while I 0:31:53.680 --> 0:31:55.080 was over there. I was like, let me text Morgan 0:31:55.120 --> 0:31:56.960 to see you know what, there's a lot of downtime. 0:31:57.000 --> 0:31:59.360 I don't need to be hanging out with my brother 0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:00.960 for this long, Like, let me just step away and 0:32:00.960 --> 0:32:03.960 do videos for two hours. But then really, when it 0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:06.360 came down and I'm like, I'm gonna cry over this keyboard, 0:32:06.360 --> 0:32:09.240 I'm not gonna do a video like one of the 0:32:09.320 --> 0:32:10.000 spell stuff. 0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:12.280 The emotional capacity like it wasn't there. 0:32:12.360 --> 0:32:16.640 It wasn't there, you know. So like our job, while 0:32:16.640 --> 0:32:20.000 you're going through something like this is hard. You have 0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:23.720 to sit there tell your opinion about something where you're 0:32:23.760 --> 0:32:26.880 like like you know, like you really do care when 0:32:26.880 --> 0:32:29.320 all you're thinking about is my life is crumbled right now. 0:32:30.240 --> 0:32:31.520 Yeah, Like I just want to be crying in the 0:32:31.560 --> 0:32:35.520 bathroom please don't ask me what I feel about this time? Right, 0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:37.440 And I think Bobby does send some of that, which 0:32:37.480 --> 0:32:40.600 is really awesome about him. They'll like, look, I'm just 0:32:40.720 --> 0:32:44.000 like down. I'm like, please don't come to me, Please 0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:45.720 don't come to me, because I might just cry and 0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:47.200 it's not even a crying subject. 0:32:47.520 --> 0:32:52.400 Does Lunchbox help you, you know with his ridiculous questions 0:32:52.440 --> 0:32:54.440 and does he help you laugh a little bit about that? 0:32:54.680 --> 0:32:57.320 Yeah, you know, the comedic relief, especially at the end 0:32:57.360 --> 0:32:59.440 of the announcement really helped, cause I was just like, 0:33:00.160 --> 0:33:03.680 it's also like I'm back in therapy and I'm like, 0:33:04.000 --> 0:33:07.040 having to relive it in my head is what I 0:33:07.040 --> 0:33:10.320 think is hard because I'm like I just keep getting 0:33:10.480 --> 0:33:13.400 more sad and then more angry, and those those keep 0:33:13.480 --> 0:33:17.840 the emotions keep paling on. And so like when you 0:33:17.920 --> 0:33:22.000 when that happens, you feel so emotionally exhausted after having 0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:25.239 to share that much of who you are, and so 0:33:25.320 --> 0:33:27.000 like when lunch Fox comes in and makes a joke, 0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:29.240 I'm like, Okay, I can breathe for a second, you 0:33:29.280 --> 0:33:32.320 know what I mean, Like, is he probably making find Yeah, sure, 0:33:32.480 --> 0:33:34.959 and just give it on me right now. But like 0:33:35.560 --> 0:33:38.040 it at least allows, I think, my heart to breathe 0:33:38.080 --> 0:33:40.760 from the vulnerability that I'm exposing myself to. 0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:44.240 How hard was that for you to come on here 0:33:44.280 --> 0:33:46.360 and tell everyone what was going on? 0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:51.160 So hard? Any I wanted to like literally cry a river, 0:33:53.240 --> 0:33:56.280 but so much of my healing, Like the only way 0:33:56.320 --> 0:33:59.040 that I was going to move on, or at least 0:33:59.240 --> 0:34:02.800 start my process moving on, was to tell everybody, because 0:34:03.080 --> 0:34:05.280 I had already shared multiple times like this is a 0:34:05.320 --> 0:34:10.600 guy that I cared so much about and now that's 0:34:10.640 --> 0:34:13.440 not happening. So like, I had people that were in 0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:15.759 my damns, like kind people who were like, you're so 0:34:15.960 --> 0:34:19.920 happy You're glowing over the weekend of like the breakup 0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:23.400 that happened, and I was like, oh god, yeah, I 0:34:23.400 --> 0:34:24.920 was like, this is so bad. I can't keep getting 0:34:24.920 --> 0:34:28.840 these messages because I'm not I'm like literally not okay. 0:34:29.880 --> 0:34:32.239 And I was like, I have to share this so 0:34:32.320 --> 0:34:35.560 that I can they can move on with me, you 0:34:35.600 --> 0:34:38.319 know what I mean? Because I had led him into 0:34:38.360 --> 0:34:40.799 that part. I hadn't shown him and I you know, 0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:42.879 nobody knew his name or anything, but like I had 0:34:42.880 --> 0:34:45.200 posted about him and I had shared really happy stories 0:34:45.239 --> 0:34:47.960 about all of that. So of course they were going 0:34:48.040 --> 0:34:49.919 to think that I was continually to be happy until 0:34:49.920 --> 0:34:50.320 I told. 0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:50.799 Him I wasn't. 0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:54.840 So I was like, regardless of how much this is 0:34:54.880 --> 0:34:57.279 going to suck, I have, I have to stop this 0:34:57.320 --> 0:34:59.520 because I can't move on and I can't process this 0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:04.600 until I'm no longer getting messages of like I'm so 0:35:04.760 --> 0:35:06.960 happy for you and you you finally found it. You 0:35:07.000 --> 0:35:07.440 know what I mean? 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.279 Is that a big part of your process to just 0:35:10.880 --> 0:35:13.520 be open with everyone, tell everyone what's up, and get 0:35:13.600 --> 0:35:16.560 rid of everything and just clear him from your life? 0:35:16.719 --> 0:35:20.080 I think so, because I don't. It's this is also 0:35:20.120 --> 0:35:24.120 so unique, Eddie. I've never exited a relationship that wasn't horrible. 0:35:24.719 --> 0:35:27.200 Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about that. 0:35:27.440 --> 0:35:29.120 So, like all of them have, I've had a reason. 0:35:29.120 --> 0:35:31.640 I had good reasons to get out, to hate them, 0:35:31.680 --> 0:35:34.720 to be mad, to be and just like move forward. 0:35:34.800 --> 0:35:36.719 This one was like what the no? 0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:41.359 And this one I'm still trying to understand and come 0:35:41.400 --> 0:35:44.359 out of. So like I get that, I don't think 0:35:44.360 --> 0:35:46.359 my body even knows how to process what I'm going through. 0:35:47.680 --> 0:35:53.040 So that's also like an extra layer on that. But yeah, 0:35:53.080 --> 0:35:56.520 I mean, I if I don't be open and vulnerable. 0:35:57.200 --> 0:36:02.480 I will shut down and I will legitimately be depressed. 0:36:02.560 --> 0:36:03.799 Like we're not going to do that. 0:36:04.840 --> 0:36:07.080 I'm trying not to like not doing that. I'll text 0:36:07.120 --> 0:36:09.279 my friends. I'm like, I am not doing great right now. 0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:11.920 Please put something on my schedule so I don't go 0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:12.880 here because. 0:36:12.719 --> 0:36:15.120 Oh no, Broadway Morgan's Oh gosh, no. 0:36:15.400 --> 0:36:18.400 That I refuse to go to. I'm not drinking Eddie, 0:36:18.480 --> 0:36:22.759 like I haven't. I haven't drank anything since because I 0:36:22.840 --> 0:36:24.080 know that it's going to make this worse. 0:36:24.120 --> 0:36:27.319 Good call, good job, Good for you, that's awesome. 0:36:27.120 --> 0:36:30.160 Like one, I'll this is so mature of you. Well 0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:33.799 because also I don't. I'm not super hungry anyway, and 0:36:33.840 --> 0:36:36.480 I'm not I don't even want to like drink water. 0:36:36.600 --> 0:36:39.120 So like I'm just like, okay, I need to not 0:36:39.280 --> 0:36:41.200 be adding alcohol to this process. 0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:43.279 We've got to work on that part. Though. I know 0:36:43.400 --> 0:36:44.440 you need your friend to feed you. 0:36:45.040 --> 0:36:49.799 It's more forced Jesus. But yeah, it's like I'll just go. 0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:53.200 I will literally go into a depression. And so I 0:36:53.320 --> 0:36:55.080 realized the only way I don't is if it's like 0:36:55.080 --> 0:36:56.960 I have people holding me accountable. So if I'm so 0:36:57.080 --> 0:36:59.120 open and honest, about it. I can't lie to myself, 0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:02.200 you know, I can't lie that this isn't happening, and 0:37:02.280 --> 0:37:06.440 I can't take it back. So if I just tell everybody, 0:37:06.480 --> 0:37:08.680 then everybody's going to be around me and say, hey, 0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:11.319 how you doing today? And I have to face it 0:37:12.400 --> 0:37:14.239 because I will. You know, I live by myself. I 0:37:14.239 --> 0:37:15.799 have my dog and my cab. But like I live 0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:17.759 by myself, I could go into a hole if I 0:37:17.760 --> 0:37:18.120 wanted to. 0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:19.520 Oh my gosh, this is the same thing I was 0:37:19.560 --> 0:37:21.759 talking about with when someone loses a loved one, like 0:37:22.680 --> 0:37:25.080 check on you. You want people to check on you. 0:37:25.080 --> 0:37:28.319 You need people to check on you again. But I 0:37:28.320 --> 0:37:30.239 sit right next to you and you walk in and 0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:32.600 I'm like, oh no, Morgan's having a bad day. Do 0:37:32.640 --> 0:37:34.759 I leave her alone? Like really, I think, like, do 0:37:34.800 --> 0:37:36.840 I leave her alone? And I've you noticed I tapped 0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.200 you kind of on the shoulder, rubbed, just give you 0:37:39.239 --> 0:37:41.040 a little love tap on your shoulder, a little bit 0:37:41.080 --> 0:37:43.360 heelty if everynoun now and then because I know that 0:37:43.520 --> 0:37:45.560 like I don't have the words right now. Again, I 0:37:45.560 --> 0:37:47.960 don't have the words for you, but I want you 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:48.759 to know that I'm here for you. 0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:52.560 It's like even just you doing that. I was like, Okay, 0:37:52.880 --> 0:37:53.520 it was like a call. 0:37:53.600 --> 0:37:56.720 Mean, yeah, you know what I mean. But again, most 0:37:56.719 --> 0:37:58.880 people think, like, let me just give her a space. 0:37:59.520 --> 0:38:02.520 Morgan does need your space, Morgan needs the love. 0:38:03.239 --> 0:38:06.080 Yeah, and I did. I mean just to your point 0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:08.000 you were talking about earlier, how you just felt like 0:38:08.080 --> 0:38:10.960 you just felt so much around you. And I have, 0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:13.520 I mean people have shown up. I have. I've had 0:38:13.600 --> 0:38:16.080 multiple people stay the night with me. I've had neighbors 0:38:16.120 --> 0:38:22.799 dropping off wine dudes, no, go forst It's good, all right, No, no, no, 0:38:22.800 --> 0:38:26.879 I'm not. I'm not spiraling an alcohol hooking up. And 0:38:27.080 --> 0:38:30.400 I'm not. Even the idea of dating again literally makes 0:38:30.440 --> 0:38:34.640 me sick to my stomach. I can imagine. So I have. 0:38:34.760 --> 0:38:38.080 I've had people surrounding me. But like when you have 0:38:38.160 --> 0:38:42.359 a history of depression, it's going to come back no 0:38:42.360 --> 0:38:44.279 matter what you want to do. You know, you can 0:38:44.360 --> 0:38:46.040 have the whole world around you and you're still going 0:38:46.120 --> 0:38:49.000 to be like, yeah, no, I want to you know, 0:38:49.239 --> 0:38:50.319 John off a cliff real quick. 0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:51.720 Your therapist good. 0:38:51.920 --> 0:38:55.360 Yeah, she's amazing, But like it's just still hard. It's 0:38:55.400 --> 0:38:57.120 it's fine. You have to find your own ways to 0:38:57.120 --> 0:38:57.640 manage it. 0:38:58.239 --> 0:39:01.680 So yeah, because it's just like, you know, you go 0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:04.319 to church, go to therapist, whatever it is. You know, 0:39:04.880 --> 0:39:06.920 you feel good at that moment, or you're learning so 0:39:07.000 --> 0:39:09.400 much that moment, but you're gonna walk out those doors 0:39:09.600 --> 0:39:11.680 and you're gonna face it again. Yeah, back to real 0:39:11.719 --> 0:39:14.520 life waiting for you. So that's where you need to 0:39:14.560 --> 0:39:14.959 take over. 0:39:16.080 --> 0:39:18.680 You have to. You have to find ways to manage 0:39:18.719 --> 0:39:21.440 it because otherwise you don't exist. I wouldn't be at work, 0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:23.680 I wouldn't be coming in every day if I didn't. 0:39:24.080 --> 0:39:28.240 So I'm managing it good, but it hurts, like hell yeah, 0:39:28.440 --> 0:39:31.840 like just like I want to take a pay away 0:39:31.880 --> 0:39:34.680 the pain for you that you felt and that you're feeling, 0:39:35.440 --> 0:39:38.960 like I take that on from everybody else, but for mine, 0:39:39.719 --> 0:39:41.960 I just let it stay there, you know what I mean? 0:39:42.560 --> 0:39:44.200 And why I do that to myself, I don't know, 0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:48.600 but that's just what it is. It's good. I suppose 0:39:48.600 --> 0:39:50.200 the healing will come quicker that way. 0:39:50.080 --> 0:39:53.360 But it'll take time. It just takes time. 0:39:53.880 --> 0:39:55.920 Time is the one thing I don't like, I know. 0:39:56.280 --> 0:39:58.719 I don't like that we get older. I don't like 0:39:58.760 --> 0:40:01.799 that we lose people. I don't like that time is 0:40:01.800 --> 0:40:05.840 the thing that heals all the wounds. There's this component 0:40:06.400 --> 0:40:09.400 of our lives time that we literally can't control. 0:40:09.719 --> 0:40:13.480 It's really patience because all that's going to happen, Everything 0:40:13.520 --> 0:40:15.560 that we've talked about is just going to happen to everyone. 0:40:16.080 --> 0:40:21.000 I literally taught thought about a year ago. I was like, wow, man, 0:40:21.040 --> 0:40:26.120 I really haven't lost anyone in my life because I've 0:40:26.160 --> 0:40:27.920 seen like a lot of my friends lately kind of 0:40:27.960 --> 0:40:30.040 just like, oh, my parents, my dad passed, and we're 0:40:30.040 --> 0:40:31.680 just at that I'm at that age where like our 0:40:31.719 --> 0:40:33.960 parents are getting older, they're getting to that age. 0:40:34.560 --> 0:40:35.080 It's funny. 0:40:35.120 --> 0:40:37.959 My dad would talk a lot too about all his buddies, Like, man, 0:40:38.120 --> 0:40:40.640 all my buddies are dying around me. You would wake up, 0:40:40.680 --> 0:40:42.680 look at the obituarys and be like, God, I lost 0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:45.080 another buddy. Like that's just kind of the age he 0:40:45.200 --> 0:40:47.880 was at and he wasn't that old. But you know, 0:40:47.960 --> 0:40:50.279 if you just you're at that time where you're like, 0:40:50.840 --> 0:40:53.560 this is just going to happen everyone, and we're never 0:40:53.560 --> 0:40:54.400 gonna be ready for it. 0:40:55.160 --> 0:40:57.160 But it's just this life. 0:40:57.440 --> 0:41:00.400 I know. I've kind of suck sometimes, doesn't it does? 0:41:01.200 --> 0:41:01.640 It does? 0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:04.960 My sister and I were saying that a lot. We 0:41:04.960 --> 0:41:05.719 were saying that a lot. 0:41:05.960 --> 0:41:07.440 The only thing that I can say to be like, 0:41:07.520 --> 0:41:08.799 you know, it's just it's hard. 0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:09.800 It's hard. 0:41:10.239 --> 0:41:12.600 Being a human is hard, really really hard, like the 0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:16.640 whole human experience. It's just and we choose to do 0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:19.400 it every day. Yep, isn't that crazy? 0:41:19.440 --> 0:41:22.600 It is crazy. But we're good. We're good, Morgan, Yeah 0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:23.640 we are. 0:41:23.640 --> 0:41:27.520 We're knocking feet right now. Thank you for coming on 0:41:27.640 --> 0:41:31.239 Eddie of course and crying with me and opening up 0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:32.640 about your family and stuff. 0:41:33.200 --> 0:41:35.799 You know, I hadn't really talked about it really, you know, 0:41:35.920 --> 0:41:37.680 you can't talk about on the show. That's part of 0:41:37.680 --> 0:41:40.400 it too, right, Like my job here is not to 0:41:41.600 --> 0:41:44.560 be sad like and I like being happy. Like, don't 0:41:44.560 --> 0:41:47.320 get me wrong, I'm not acting happy. I like being happy. 0:41:48.000 --> 0:41:50.960 I like feeling happy, and I really couldn't wait to 0:41:50.960 --> 0:41:55.080 get back to feel happy with everyone, with all you guys, 0:41:55.400 --> 0:41:59.279 because that's just a part of I Just when there's 0:41:59.280 --> 0:42:02.399 a stressful situation or a negative situation, I don't like it. 0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:06.040 Yeah, I want to get out well because it out 0:42:06.200 --> 0:42:09.439 is healing. Yeah, you know, you stay in it, there's 0:42:09.440 --> 0:42:09.920 no healing. 0:42:10.120 --> 0:42:14.000 Yeah, So I like we're playing games again. I like 0:42:14.040 --> 0:42:15.920 winning easy trivia rude. 0:42:16.520 --> 0:42:19.200 I like all that you had to throw that one 0:42:19.200 --> 0:42:21.800 in there. You just came back and why I had to, 0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:25.640 I had to, I know, I know. But you also 0:42:25.680 --> 0:42:29.160 deserve to talk about it, you know, because that's also 0:42:29.280 --> 0:42:31.800 something that I had to learn a lot later in 0:42:32.400 --> 0:42:35.000 my life now, within probably the last few years of 0:42:35.120 --> 0:42:38.080 like I can't always put on a grave face. Yeah 0:42:38.320 --> 0:42:42.640 I can't. It was killing me, Like everybody constantly wanted 0:42:42.640 --> 0:42:46.640 to think that I was okay and I wasn't. And 0:42:46.960 --> 0:42:50.080 so you as a human, even though you are happy 0:42:50.360 --> 0:42:54.640 laughing Eddie, just had a really crappy thing happen. Yeah, 0:42:54.640 --> 0:42:57.399 and you get to be sad. You get to come 0:42:57.400 --> 0:43:00.160 in here and like not be okay. 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:04.360 You know, I might need your couch a few times. 0:43:04.600 --> 0:43:06.200 You can use my couch as much as you want. 0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:07.680 We'll sign out there, like don't go on there, Eddies 0:43:07.680 --> 0:43:08.080 on the couch. 0:43:08.280 --> 0:43:11.719 You can have the couch, like because it's it's going 0:43:11.800 --> 0:43:14.600 to hit you out of nowhere and you can't stop it, 0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:18.120 and you shouldn't stop it. But you deserve to have 0:43:18.160 --> 0:43:20.839 that too. Don't forget that when you're you know, you're 0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:22.400 in here and you're being strong and it does make 0:43:22.440 --> 0:43:26.880 you feel good to be back, like because you feel 0:43:26.920 --> 0:43:30.560 so strong right now. But life just has a funny 0:43:30.560 --> 0:43:32.880 way of making you face your crap. 0:43:33.280 --> 0:43:35.399 Yep, right in the face. 0:43:35.440 --> 0:43:39.520 Don't be too strong, okay, and I'll try and get stronger. 0:43:39.560 --> 0:43:42.200 There we got meet in the mill. 0:43:42.280 --> 0:43:45.759 Yeah, okay, we're good at end this thing. 0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:47.040 Yea, thank you Morgan. 0:43:47.200 --> 0:43:49.200 Thanks for coming on. Of course, it was good to 0:43:49.239 --> 0:43:52.719 have a conversation with you and you know, grief of 0:43:52.760 --> 0:43:53.240 all kinds. 0:43:53.360 --> 0:43:55.920 Sorry, guys, this wasn't the happiest podcast, but. 0:43:56.080 --> 0:43:59.080 That's why Part two and Part three are happy. You're lighthearted. 0:43:59.320 --> 0:44:02.320 I had a feel and I just needed to chat. 0:44:02.600 --> 0:44:04.600 Yeah, we haven't. We haven't chatted. 0:44:05.200 --> 0:44:05.799 I just heard it. 0:44:05.880 --> 0:44:07.120 Other than the videos are in. 0:44:08.920 --> 0:44:11.120 Eddie and I have been on like survival levels of 0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:16.680 just like different proportions. And that's okay, all right, everybody. 0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:18.439 I hope you have a great weekend. Eddie, thank you again. 0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:21.840 Yes, you're so welcome. Everyone have a great weekend. Bye bye. 0:44:22.640 --> 0:44:24.880 That's the best bits of the week with Morgan. 0:44:25.200 --> 0:44:27.359 Thanks for listening. Be sure to check out the other 0:44:27.400 --> 0:44:28.520 two parts this weekend. 0:44:28.600 --> 0:44:32.759 Go follow the show on all social platforms and followed 0:44:32.800 --> 0:44:35.440 web Girl Morgan to submit your listener questions for next 0:44:35.480 --> 0:44:36.400 week's episode.