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Speaker 1: The Best Bits of the Week with Morgan.

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Speaker 2: Part one behind the scene with a member of the show.

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Speaker 1: Here we are. It is part one this weekend of

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Speaker 1: Best Bits and Eddie is joining me.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Eddie.

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Speaker 1: I just told Eddie before we came on, I have

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Speaker 1: absolutely nothing planned for this because, honestly, like I am

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Speaker 1: in a mode right now where I'm just surviving. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'm doing the bare minimum. Normally That's not my

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Speaker 1: personality at all, but it's the only way I'm able

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Speaker 1: to survive.

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Speaker 2: Ran Yeah, same here.

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Speaker 3: I mean, one step at a time, one day at

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Speaker 3: a time, right, Like, it's just kind of what you do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how are you? How? Like how's the family? Like,

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Speaker 1: give me a little check in if you can.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the family's good. I mean we, like I said,

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Speaker 3: it's just one day at a time. Some days are good,

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Speaker 3: some days are better than others, you know. Just to

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Speaker 3: kind of catch people up. At the start of August,

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Speaker 3: my brother had a stroke. My brother, my older brother,

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Speaker 3: he's been in this podcast. He's on the he called

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Speaker 3: in talk about his feedex days he was he's fifty

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Speaker 3: one years old, and he had a stroke and it's

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Speaker 3: a little brain brain bleed in his head and it

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Speaker 3: paralyzed the left side of his body mainly limbs, not

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Speaker 3: so much his his face.

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Speaker 1: Or anything like his speat or anything.

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Speaker 3: Just like his left arm he couldn't move it, his

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Speaker 3: left leg couldn't move it and really had a hard

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Speaker 3: time just moving.

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Speaker 2: So that happened, and then.

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Speaker 3: Two three three days later, my dad had a freak accident,

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Speaker 3: fell down some stairs, and you know, he ended up

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Speaker 3: passing away. And it was just kind of like a boom.

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Speaker 3: It was a huge bomb in my life because everything

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Speaker 3: was just so sudden, like, yeah.

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Speaker 1: None of it was planned for nothing.

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Speaker 3: You could be nothing nothing, So yeah, it's it's that was.

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Speaker 3: It's been a few weeks and we've kind of I

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Speaker 3: have personally kind of just gone back into the routine

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Speaker 3: of my life, which is chaotic and busy. My brother

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Speaker 3: his whole rehab and like his recovery was kind of

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Speaker 3: priority one after my dad passed, Like, all right, so

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Speaker 3: Dad's gone, what do we do with my brother? Like

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Speaker 3: we got to figure his stuff out because he didn't

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Speaker 3: have health insurance and.

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Speaker 2: That was a whole other deal.

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Speaker 3: And luckily my sister and I we were kind of

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Speaker 3: we're wired differently, my sister and I her and I

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Speaker 3: are wired the same, but weird wired differently than the

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Speaker 3: rest of our family, where like, all right, we got

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Speaker 3: to get crap done.

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Speaker 2: Let's get it done.

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Speaker 1: So he kind of went into action versus the emotional

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Speaker 1: side of things.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we went into like how do how do we

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Speaker 3: get through this? My mom obviously has been a wreck,

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Speaker 3: and and my mom and my sister are really close,

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Speaker 3: so my mom's like, let me take care of mom.

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Speaker 3: You take care of bro, got it? Those are our

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Speaker 3: assignments and so so yeah, so my brother other, you know,

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Speaker 3: didn't have health insurance, so immediately we had to just

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Speaker 3: kind of go like, how are we going to pay

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Speaker 3: for this stuff? And we kind of got our money

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Speaker 3: together and we're like, well, that's not gonna that's not

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Speaker 3: going to do anything. So my sister kind of made

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Speaker 3: the hard, hard decision to be like should we do

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Speaker 3: a GoFundMe? Like it's just not our style, and I said,

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Speaker 3: you do whatever you think we need to do, and

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Speaker 3: she's like okay, So she set up a GoFundMe and

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Speaker 3: Morgan the amount of money that we were able to

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Speaker 3: raise from that GoFundMe, I mean just from friends and

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Speaker 3: family and the B Team Facebook page, which I didn't

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Speaker 3: even know it made it to the B Team Facebook

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Speaker 3: page like it had gotten on there somehow. And then

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Speaker 3: my sister texted me, She's like, hey, we're getting like

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Speaker 3: a lot of money from B Team members. Did you

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Speaker 3: say something? And I'm like, what were I say? Said

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Speaker 3: something like I haven't even gone on Instagram. I haven't

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Speaker 3: said anything, and she's just like, well, it's like B

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Speaker 3: Team stepping up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, oh my gosh, this is

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Speaker 2: a maze.

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Speaker 3: So it was a huge, huge, huge, huge blessing in

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Speaker 3: that time where we really didn't know what we're gonna

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Speaker 3: do too, where like, holy crap, this is actually possible

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Speaker 3: where my brother can get some good treatment. And because

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Speaker 3: he's all alone, he's not married, he doesn't have family,

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Speaker 3: he's all alone in Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 2: And so that happened. And then my cousin who lives

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Speaker 2: in Florida.

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Speaker 3: He was there for my dad. He's very close to

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Speaker 3: our family and he was there for my dad when

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Speaker 3: he passed and he said, listen, man, like my wife

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Speaker 3: is a occupational therapist, so what she does for a living,

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Speaker 3: he's going to need some occupational therapy after a stroke. Aunt,

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Speaker 3: just send it to Florida with me and we'll kind

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Speaker 3: of set up what he needs, physical therapy, cognitive therapy,

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Speaker 3: occupational therapy. Like my wife knows all these people, so

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Speaker 3: let's just do it that way. That way you can

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Speaker 3: get back to work and mom can get back to

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Speaker 3: Texas and we can kind of figure everything out. I'm

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Speaker 3: telling you, man, I'm getting emotional just thinking about it, because.

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Speaker 2: It was in a hard, hard time.

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Speaker 3: It was a light a very very dark time, and

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Speaker 3: we're just so thankful for the way everything's playing out,

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Speaker 3: Like it's just great.

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Speaker 1: You just had a lot of people stepping up and

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Speaker 1: showing up for you. Huge when you're in such a

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Speaker 1: dark moment and you see people showing up and you're like,

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Speaker 1: where are you coming from? Why are you here? You

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Speaker 1: don't have to be It's okay, Like we'll figure it out, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, but you were like no, we're you know,

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Speaker 1: people were like, no, we're going to step in and

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Speaker 1: we're going to do this right because you guys deserve that.

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Speaker 1: That's so awesome. And I remember you telling me that

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Speaker 1: story when when you had first gotten back, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's so awesome of your cousin who have stepped

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Speaker 1: up and done that. So is your brother's recovery going well?

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Speaker 3: Then, So while we record this in a couple of days,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to pick him up in Florida and we're

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Speaker 3: going to take him back home because he's made significant improvements.

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Speaker 3: He's been able to walk on his own without a

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Speaker 3: walker his uh, he's able to write and do everything

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Speaker 3: or not right because he's right handed, but you know everything,

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Speaker 3: he's got motion. He's got motion. You can move his limbs,

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Speaker 3: he can kind of he's a little slower, he can't

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Speaker 3: do everything at full speed. But he's been cleared to

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Speaker 3: go back home, which he has stairs, and again he's

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Speaker 3: by himself, so he's gonna have to drive places. And

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Speaker 3: they've cleared him. Like, Okay, I think we're at the moment,

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Speaker 3: we're at the point where he's able to do all

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Speaker 3: that stuff a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I'm gonna take him back and once.

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Speaker 1: Set them up, ready to go back to or is

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Speaker 1: he like he's so.

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Speaker 2: Ready to go back?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: I mean he has two cats, Oh he hasn't and

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Speaker 3: they weren't able to come with him. Yeah, So the

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Speaker 3: like priority one for him is like I need to

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Speaker 3: get back to my cats and we're like, Priority one

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Speaker 3: is you need to get walking and driving again, Like

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Speaker 3: that's what you need to.

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Speaker 1: Get somebody out there to take care imagine again.

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Speaker 3: And he's been telling me about his neighbors and his

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Speaker 3: friends that are like, man, everyone's stepping up. Everyone's been

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Speaker 3: able to go to.

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Speaker 2: The house, they take videos of the cats, they hang

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Speaker 2: out with them.

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Speaker 3: He's like, it's just everything everyone's just been doing being

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Speaker 3: so great to us at this moment, and we're just

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Speaker 3: very very thankful for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think it's really hard to like when you

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Speaker 1: you go in day to day life and you get

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Speaker 1: used to your life right and something just comes and

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Speaker 1: blows it up, and you're like, I have to lean

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Speaker 1: on people that I haven't been leaning on because life

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Speaker 1: was just working for all of us, you know, the

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Speaker 1: motion was happening. I didn't need anything or they didn't

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Speaker 1: need anything. And then when you see like the community

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Speaker 1: that you have around you, that you did build along

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Speaker 1: the way of your life start to show up for you.

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Speaker 1: When that moment does come, because it's inevitably going to

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Speaker 1: like that's insane, that feeling and that experience emits something

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Speaker 1: really dark, You're like, Okay, I really want to cry

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Speaker 1: right now, but like thank you at the same time,

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Speaker 1: and like my heart feels happy, but like it's not. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a weird emotion too.

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Speaker 3: It is, it is, And you're right, you do see

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Speaker 3: you see it from a different perspective because we're all

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Speaker 3: just a little selfish and we live our life just

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Speaker 3: thinking of you know, what I do every day and

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Speaker 3: how am I going to do this every day? And

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Speaker 3: but when something like that happens and you have no

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Speaker 3: control and you're just like I have no control, and

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Speaker 3: everyone steps up, you start saying like, wow, we have

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Speaker 3: created a community of people. We have affected people in

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Speaker 3: different ways where they want to help us. And after

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Speaker 3: this is done, I'm going to look at that differently

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Speaker 3: when someone else, when someone needs help, it's like, guys,

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Speaker 3: we need to all step in and help them.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: It's a beautiful thing. And unfortunately it takes something really

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Speaker 3: really bad in our lives for us to realize that.

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Speaker 3: And I hate that part, but we kind of need

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Speaker 3: it for it to happen for us to even think

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Speaker 3: about that.

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Speaker 1: So well, And I don't know if you're like this too,

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Speaker 1: but I don't like asking for help.

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Speaker 3: I don't And that's what I'm saying. My sister and

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Speaker 3: I were like I don't want to do this, Like

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Speaker 3: I really don't. Is there any way we can get

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Speaker 3: a credit card and pay for all this stuff? And

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Speaker 3: my sister's like, we can, but we want to do that,

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Speaker 3: and like Mom's gonna need help too after this, and like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And it becomes overwhelming and you become so overwhelmed that

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Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, I don't have any other option but

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Speaker 1: to utilize option like my resources that I have. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is that, Like it's certainly an overwhelming feeling to

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Speaker 1: be like, my life is really hard, but I know

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Speaker 1: your life is really hard, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: ask you for anything, and I don't want you to

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Speaker 1: stop what you're doing to fix me or to do

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Speaker 1: things for me, like I'll figure it out. That's a

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Speaker 1: constant thing that I battle whenever I'm in like a

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Speaker 1: really hard places, like I can't ask for help. I'm

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Speaker 1: not good at it. Yeah, people just kind of have

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Speaker 1: to force it. Like I had a girlfriend literally force

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Speaker 1: for me a grilled cheese or sitting in the Sonic

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Speaker 1: parking lot eat the freaking girl cheese. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to, Like there's no part of me that

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Speaker 1: wants to. And she's like, just eat it please, and

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Speaker 1: like that's the stuff that like people show up to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Sure, And you're laughing in the moment, but you're like,

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Speaker 1: what is wrong with me? You know, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you had any of those that have happened to

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Speaker 1: you recently where you're like, what is going on with

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Speaker 1: my brain and my body?

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Speaker 3: You know, it's funny because yes, I don't know. I

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Speaker 3: don't really know how to like grieve. Obviously no one

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Speaker 3: really does, but and I don't normally do this.

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Speaker 2: It was just weird.

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Speaker 3: And it was at the hospital in Pennsylvania because so

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Speaker 3: the hospital my brother lives in Pennsylvania, like maybe an

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Speaker 3: hour outside of Philadelphia, and so a lot of Philadelphia

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Speaker 3: Eagles fans and we had been in the hospital for

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Speaker 3: four days, like just back and forth. My brother was

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Speaker 3: on the seventh floor, my dad was on the second floor,

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Speaker 3: and it was just just every day, back and forth,

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Speaker 3: back and forth, crying a lot, and joking a little

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Speaker 3: bit with family, crying again, and it's just like it.

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Speaker 2: Was just that kind of like week.

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Speaker 3: And one day I decided to wear a Dallas Cowboy

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Speaker 3: shirt in Philadelphia Eagles territory, and I just thought it

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Speaker 3: would be funny.

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Speaker 2: And I'm Morgan. I would never do this ever.

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Speaker 1: Ever.

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Speaker 3: I'm not that kind of fan to go up to

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Speaker 3: a Rando stranger and be like, hey, look at my shirt.

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Speaker 3: But there was a guy walking towards me. And the

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Speaker 3: hospital is not a place to joke like, it's just not.

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Speaker 3: But for some reason, I was like, watch this, this

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Speaker 3: will be funny. And I was with my whole family

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Speaker 3: and I had my cow underneath my sweatshirt. I had my

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Speaker 3: cowboy shirt and there was a guy walking with an

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Speaker 3: Eagle's shirt and I say, hey, man, watch this.

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Speaker 2: And my whole family's like, what is that he doing?

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Speaker 2: And the guy is like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: And so I pick up my sweatshirt and it's the

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Speaker 3: Cowboys star and I go boom and he goes okay,

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Speaker 3: I don't care, and he walks off, and my whole

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Speaker 3: family's like, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: And I said, I don't know, honestly, I don't know

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Speaker 2: why I did that.

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Speaker 3: And then my cousin goes bro that wasn't even a

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Speaker 3: Philadelphia Eagles shirt. I think that was like an elementary school,

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Speaker 3: you know, So it.

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Speaker 1: Was like, that's probably why he didn't understand what with that?

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Speaker 2: No, we had no idea.

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Speaker 3: And in my mind, I'm like, and my sister, I think,

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Speaker 3: is the one that said, you know what, just pain

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Speaker 3: makes you do weird things. So yes, that was my

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Speaker 3: moment of like what am I doing? I feel like

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Speaker 3: I don't have no control over my body right now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like out of body experience.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it was so weird, Morgan, you know what it is.

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Speaker 1: And I want us to take a quicker little break here,

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Speaker 1: but when we come back, I'm gonna ask you, like,

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Speaker 1: how how the grieving process has been going for Okay,

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Speaker 1: because we can get to my grieving too.

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Speaker 2: It's been interesting. Okay.

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Speaker 1: We have the two parallels here, right, You are grieving

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Speaker 1: somebody very important to you that's no longer here, my dad.

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Speaker 1: I'm grieving somebody that's still alive that I'm probably never

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Speaker 1: going to speak to again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Both grief just different kinds.

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Speaker 3: Different ways, right, It's life, just different ways of doing things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and grief comes in a whole lot of different forms.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: How have you has your process of been grieving?

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Speaker 2: Go?

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Speaker 1: Like, maybe there's been funny moments, sad moments, like what

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Speaker 1: has that grieving process been like for you so far?

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Speaker 3: Gosh, I don't know if I have completely grieved. I

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Speaker 3: think that the process of, well, my dad was in

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Speaker 3: the hospital for five days, you know, just nothing was

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Speaker 3: getting better was the main grieving process, because it's like

293
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Speaker 3: so much sadness but fun to see family members. Then

294
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Speaker 3: sat again, and just the roller coaster ride of like

295
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Speaker 3: I think I said bye to my dad, probably I

296
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Speaker 3: don't know, twenty times, you know, and then and then

297
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Speaker 3: the nurses would come in and be like, hey, his

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Speaker 3: heart beats getting strong again, like okay, okay, and then

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Speaker 3: I would come back, you know, a few hours later

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Speaker 3: and like, no, it's not.

301
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Speaker 2: It's getting worse.

302
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Speaker 1: Roller coaster ride of like not knowing what's.

303
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Speaker 2: Going to happen, morgan.

304
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Speaker 3: And it was like that for five days, and so

305
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,440
Speaker 3: maybe even seven days, use I don't remember. But so

306
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Speaker 3: I think at the end of it there was a

307
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Speaker 3: big feeling of peace of like, Okay, he's no longer suffering.

308
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Speaker 3: What happened has happened, and he's in a better place,

309
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Speaker 3: and so many things kind of came together, you know.

310
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Speaker 3: There's a weird part of all this that was that

311
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Speaker 3: just kind of resonated in me while it was happening,

312
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 3: was that my mom told me when my brother was

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Speaker 3: in the hospital after he had a stroke. My mom

314
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,600
Speaker 3: said that my dad said, you know what he told

315
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Speaker 3: my brother. He said, for some reason, I feel like

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Speaker 3: Eddie's going to come and see you. And my brother

317
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,720
Speaker 3: was like you think and he's like, yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Something's telling me that Eddie's going to come visit you. No,

319
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 3: and not one there wasn't one thought in my mind

320
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Speaker 3: here in Nashville thinking like I'm going to go see

321
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Speaker 3: my brother because I knew he was in stable condition

322
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Speaker 3: and that he was just he was okay, yeah, and

323
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Speaker 3: that all he needed was therapy to get back to normal.

324
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Speaker 3: So I thought like, maybe I'll go see him in

325
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 3: a month or so, but not I didn't even think

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Speaker 3: about coming to visit him in the hospital.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: But somehow my dad knew that I was going to

329
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 3: be there, and so there was also that feeling of

330
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Speaker 3: like like, look, look how it's all kind of coming together.

331
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Speaker 3: Dad knew that I needed to be here. I didn't

332
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Speaker 3: know that I needed to be here. Now we're all here,

333
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Speaker 3: and so that's.

334
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Speaker 1: Also hard because it's not the reason you wanted.

335
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Speaker 3: To be there, absolutely not. But it's almost like my

336
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 3: dad knew and I do. I do believe that God

337
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,840
Speaker 3: tells us things and we don't know what they mean

338
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:29,120
Speaker 3: at the time, but he knows. And by my dad

339
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,560
Speaker 3: saying that, it's like God was telling him, like, this

340
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 3: is going to happen, but it's going to be a

341
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 3: good thing because your family's going to get together. And

342
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Speaker 3: my family we've always been just we were close at

343
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Speaker 3: the beginning, and then as we got older, I moved

344
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Speaker 3: to Nashville. My sister lived in Texas, and my brother

345
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 3: lived in Pennsylvania, so just we kind of separated a

346
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Speaker 3: little bit, and I would talk to my parents maybe twice,

347
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,280
Speaker 3: maybe once every two or three weeks, but not as

348
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Speaker 3: much as I wanted to.

349
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Speaker 2: My dad and I didn't talk that that much. I

350
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 2: would text him.

351
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,200
Speaker 3: We would text each other little things back and forth,

352
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 3: but never like real good conversations for a lot. That

353
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 3: just wasn't our thing. So like, I think my dad

354
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,040
Speaker 3: always wanted us to be closer, you know. I think

355
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,560
Speaker 3: he always wanted us to be a close family, live

356
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 3: close together, help each other out.

357
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 2: Because he would say that too, just like.

358
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Speaker 3: Why don't you guys, Like, why don't you guys move

359
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 3: like in the same town so you guys can be

360
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:22,880
Speaker 3: there for each other and.

361
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 2: Be like, Nah, Dad, I live in Nashville. Are you

362
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,240
Speaker 2: talking about? Like?

363
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 3: But I think he wanted us to be closer, and

364
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:34,080
Speaker 3: this has definitely brought us all closer. Not a great way,

365
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,320
Speaker 3: not the ideal way. But I talk to my brother

366
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 3: every day now, twice a day, three times a day.

367
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 2: My sister and I talk.

368
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,920
Speaker 3: Way more than we've ever talked, you know, my mom,

369
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, come on, come stay with us for three weeks.

370
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,000
Speaker 3: I stayed with for three months. I don't care, you know,

371
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,680
Speaker 3: So I don't know. It's just a lot of the

372
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 3: grieving process has been thinking that this happened for a reason.

373
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 1: How long did it take you to be like this

374
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 1: happened for a reason.

375
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,680
Speaker 2: I would say pretty quick. I would say pretty quick.

376
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:12,240
Speaker 3: I mean the shock of what had happened and kind

377
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 3: of just being there for that. There was a lot

378
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 3: of confusion, why did this happen? Like I don't understand,

379
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 3: like what doesn't make any sense? But then once you

380
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,639
Speaker 3: passed and everyone started telling stories, I'll be like, you know,

381
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 3: your dad said this, and then my sister sayings like

382
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 3: you know Dad always said this, and you know, like

383
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,399
Speaker 3: there were too many stories, and even when my cousins

384
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 3: came in, they were just like, did you know your

385
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 3: dad like said this. We're like, ah, this is all

386
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 3: making sense a little bit. You know, in the darkness

387
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 3: of all this, a lot of stuff is making sense here.

388
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 3: So with that, I think it's brought a lot of

389
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:53,280
Speaker 3: us a lot of peace. My mom is having the

390
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,639
Speaker 3: hardest hardest time because she's lost her a little you know,

391
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 3: her partner.

392
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,240
Speaker 2: And she's all alone and she doesn't know.

393
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 3: What to do, and so she has her days where

394
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 3: she's just like, really, you know what, it's I'm having

395
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 3: a good day. I saw my sister, she came to

396
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 3: visit me, and then later on that night she's like,

397
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 3: I'm having such a hard time.

398
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 2: It's just tough.

399
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,120
Speaker 1: Those ups and downs. Man, when you think you're doing

400
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: really well and then it just comes out of nowhere,

401
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 1: yeah and hits you and you're like, I was fine,

402
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 1: why why is this happening in this moment right now?

403
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: And you're like you want to be mad at yourself

404
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 1: because you're like, no, no, no, no, we're moving forward, right,

405
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,960
Speaker 1: But then you're like, Okay, well some reason I have

406
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 1: to feel that I don't like it. Does it feel good?

407
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 1: Go away?

408
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,119
Speaker 2: And that's that's the thing too.

409
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 3: When I talk to my mom, it's like I want

410
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 3: to tell her, like, Mom, it's gonna be okay, Like

411
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 3: you're gonna be good. It's just it's gonna take time,

412
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 3: but you're gonna eventually know how to do things by

413
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,719
Speaker 3: yourself and it's gonna feel okay and it's gonna feel normal.

414
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 3: But she doesn't understand that right now, and she doesn't

415
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 3: need to understand that right now. She's going through her

416
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 3: thing and it's really really hard, and all we can

417
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 3: do is just be there for her well in her.

418
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 1: The heartache of that. Like, if there's something that I

419
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: wish as humans we never experienced, it's heartache, I know,

420
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: you know, Like you want to talk about one of

421
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 1: the worst feelings in the world that you have zero

422
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 1: control over and your whole body feels it. Is heartache

423
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 1: of any kind, whether you've lost somebody in your life,

424
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,439
Speaker 1: lost a partner, lost a pet, like the heartache of

425
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 1: losing because you can't the only thing that mends it

426
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 1: is time, and time never comes fast enough. When you're hurting,

427
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: you can know in your mind that two years down

428
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,399
Speaker 1: the road, this will be a blip on my radar,

429
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 1: I'll be okay, and I'll be able to move past this.

430
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: But in that moment, in like the suck of all

431
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: of it, you can't even see two feet in front

432
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: of you, let alone think that this is going to

433
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,919
Speaker 1: get over anytime soon.

434
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 2: Impossible.

435
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: And that's what's the hardest part about any type of heartache.

436
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 1: Like I genuinely just wish as humans we didn't have

437
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: to experience, but we have to in order to know

438
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: what's good and to your point, what is important, what matters,

439
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: and how to appreciate those things. We have to have

440
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: loss to appreciate the things that are in our lives.

441
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 1: And that sucks.

442
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

443
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's anything that will ever make

444
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 1: it okay in my mind.

445
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 2: Isn't it weird that the heart hurts?

446
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

447
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: Like, how does the heart hurt? Why does the heart hurt?

448
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 3: But it really does feel like your heart is breaking.

449
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And they do say people die of heartbreak.

450
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 2: That's what I worry about my mom.

451
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 1: I think because you guys are surrounding her with so

452
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 1: much love. It will be different for her. But I

453
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: do think that exists with those couples who they're the

454
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: only two they have left. It's just them and one

455
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 1: of them is left behind. And I think that's when

456
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 1: that happens. I think when there's family involved and you

457
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: have a community around you, it makes it really hard

458
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 1: for that to happen because you have so many people

459
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 1: pushing to be like checking in, are you okay? How's today?

460
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 1: And I can't not think. I can't not respond because

461
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: I want to make sure they know that like I'm here.

462
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm not great, but I'm here. Yeah, you

463
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Having support is everything, and so like,

464
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: on that further extensive level, it's like those people who

465
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: don't have support and experience.

466
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 3: That I do want to say this too, you know,

467
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 3: because I had a buddy of mine who lost a son,

468
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 3: I don't know, four years ago or so somewhere around there,

469
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 3: and I remember thinking I don't know what to say

470
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 3: to him, I don't know what to do for him.

471
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 3: And now being on this kind of this end of it,

472
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 3: it shouldn't be an awkward thing when anyone still today

473
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 3: comes and says, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. How's

474
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: everything going, Like, how's your brother doing, I'm so sorry

475
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 3: about your dad, how's your mom doing?

476
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 2: All this stuff?

477
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 3: It's it actually feels good to talk about it and

478
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,919
Speaker 3: not forget it and be like thanks for asking. Like

479
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 3: she is, she's doing okay, she still has hard time

480
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 3: whatever it is. But I remember thinking like I don't

481
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 3: know what to say, and I think now I understand

482
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 3: what to say, Like just check to see how they're doing,

483
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 3: because anyone going through that really does not want to

484
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,479
Speaker 3: feel alone.

485
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: But they're gonna push everything away because they're hurting. It's

486
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,360
Speaker 1: natural to push everything away because you just you want

487
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 1: to You're barely getting out of the bed in the morning,

488
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: you're barely eating the food, putting your clothes on, brushing

489
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: your hair, brushing your teeth, existing as a day to

490
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: day human, yeah, let alone wanting to bother anybody with

491
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 1: that much heaviness. Yeah, you know, besides the direct people

492
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: like I'm sure your wife and kids have been great

493
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 1: support and distraction for you, for sure, but like they're

494
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: still existing with you in day to day and like,

495
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: how do we manage this with him every day and

496
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 1: make sure that he knows like we're here, but also

497
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: trying to not make him talk about it all the time.

498
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,239
Speaker 1: You know, it's that delicate balance. But back to your

499
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: point of like, just just reach out. It doesn't have

500
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: to be anything special to say hi.

501
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: It really doesn't, like I'm here, Hi, and and too.

502
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 3: I always wonder, like, oh, do we want to talk

503
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 3: about him anymore? But I love talking about my dad.

504
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,400
Speaker 3: I love thinking about my dad. I love it when

505
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,719
Speaker 3: people tell me, like, man, your dad one time he

506
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,239
Speaker 3: did this and it was so funny, like it, I

507
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:16,640
Speaker 3: love it.

508
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: I love that.

509
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 3: And I think that when you're on the other side

510
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 3: of it, you're don't you really don't even know?

511
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 2: Do we want to talk about him or her?

512
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: You want to keep their memory alive?

513
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 2: You really do?

514
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 3: I love it, Like I love hearing stories about my

515
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 3: dad now from people.

516
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: Do you have any of your stories you want to

517
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 1: share about him? Oh?

518
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 3: Man, I mean my dad was just a jokes jokester.

519
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 3: I think one of the stories that always sticks out

520
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 3: is I don't even know if I can say this, because.

521
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means.

522
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: We're going. He was just I don't even know if

523
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 2: I can say this.

524
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 3: He would take an awkward situment, situation and put a

525
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 3: spotlight on it and be like this is funny. I'm

526
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 3: going to take advantage of it. We were all, oh,

527
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 3: my gosh, I don't even know if I can say,

528
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 3: I will say it. We were at a Japanese restaurant

529
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 3: and you know where they cook in front of you. Yeah,

530
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: and the guy that was cooking had a very thick accent,

531
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 3: and one of us at the table didn't even realize

532
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 3: that we had repeated what the chef said in that accent.

533
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 2: No, and we were like, what did you just say?

534
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 3: And the person didn't realize they said it, Oh my gosh,

535
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I can't believe I said that out loud.

536
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 3: And so my dad was like, this is great. So

537
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 3: my dad got the waiter, the server and said, hey,

538
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 3: I will pay you, you know, twenty bucks if you

539
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 3: can come back to the table and tell this person

540
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 3: that the cook heard you and he wants a verbal apology.

541
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 3: And so so the server came back and said, did

542
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 3: somebody mock our our cook? And the person's like, yes,

543
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 3: I did. No, yeah, he heard you and he would

544
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 3: like for you to apologize to him. And like the

545
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 3: person was like, okay, just tell me, where do I

546
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: go to the kitchen? Yeah, follow me to the kitchen.

547
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 3: And they started walking to the kitchen till the start

548
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 3: was like, I'm just joking your dad, Your dad, you know,

549
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 3: he faded to do this or whatever, and it's like,

550
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 3: oh my god, and my dad was cracking up.

551
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 2: That's the kind of stuff he would do all the time.

552
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 3: He's like, I'm just going to make so much fun

553
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 3: out of this, and he would like I think every

554
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 3: time anyone talks about my dad, like, oh my gosh,

555
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: he's just that type. At the time he did this,

556
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 3: it's ridiculous. It was so dumb, but we all laugh.

557
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: We've been laughing for years about it.

558
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 1: Like he was just always making people laugh different.

559
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 2: That's what he did. He was a jokester. He was

560
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 2: just a big clown.

561
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 1: So he did And that's hard. That's it. That's a

562
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:48,199
Speaker 1: big personality. Especially for your mom. Oh yeah, you know,

563
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: she had this huge light in her life and to

564
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 1: fill that is going to be really difficult.

565
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 3: What's really cool is that my dad towards the when

566
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 3: he was younger, I would say maybe when he was

567
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 3: like thirty or forty, he had bought a children's home

568
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 3: in South Texas and this was like an orphanage in

569
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: South Texas.

570
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: I didn't know this. I had no idea.

571
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 3: I was still young back then, so I had no

572
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 3: idea that he did this. But he had enough money

573
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: to buy a children's home and he would go and

574
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 3: like hang out with the kids and do whatever, play

575
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 3: games with them. And there was a kid that he

576
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,479
Speaker 3: kind of just connected with all the time. Well he

577
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: grew up, and I guess they never really saw each

578
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 3: other anymore. It was just kind of one of those

579
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 3: things like I remember him, he was cool. Well, later on,

580
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: like i'd say, like ten years ago or five years ago,

581
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 3: my dad had to stay he had kind of like

582
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: goes in financial problems, financial trouble, and him and my

583
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 3: mom had to stay at a hotel. They didn't have

584
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 3: a lot of money, so they're like, we need to

585
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 3: stay at a hotel. Well, the manager of that hotel

586
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 3: was one of the kids that was at the children's home,

587
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 3: and he says, Oh, my gosh, I don't know if

588
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 3: you remember me.

589
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 2: I'm so and so, and he's like, yeah, I remember you,

590
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 2: of course.

591
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 3: And it's just like wow, this is so crazy staying

592
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 3: here at the hotels, Like yeah, we may be staying

593
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 3: here for a while. Don't really know what our situation is.

594
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 3: And so the guy was like, you know what, you

595
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 3: stay here as long.

596
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 2: As you want.

597
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 3: Like I'm the manager of this hotel. I run this hotel,

598
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 3: like you have a place to stay. Wow, it's stuff

599
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: like that where it's just like, God, one, I didn't

600
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 3: know Dad had bought a children's home, Like that's crazy.

601
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm surprised him or your mom never like.

602
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 2: No, I lied that, never talked about that.

603
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 3: And I'm like, Dad, no, wonder you liked when I

604
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 3: adopted when I was a foster parent, Like he would

605
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: always be like this is awesome, But I've never told

606
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 3: me that this is what he enjoyed that and that

607
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 3: was like something that he liked to do too.

608
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: But like, Dad, talk to me like you missed a

609
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,360
Speaker 1: whole chapter of y'all's life that he never Yeah unformed. Yeah, wow, Okay,

610
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: that's a really cool story. And those are some really

611
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: really good stories to share, Eddie.

612
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 2: Thank you, Yeah, thank you, Mary.

613
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: I'm glad we could have have it. On a on

614
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: a positive note, We're going to take a quick break

615
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: and then I think I need your help.

616
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,239
Speaker 3: Come on, I'm here for you after these two here

617
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 3: we're here for each other.

618
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 1: Like you're going through the most difficult thing you've been

619
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: through and you're okay and you're not emotional, And I'm

620
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: sitting over here just like emotional. Right, how are you

621
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: doing it?

622
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: Like?

623
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 1: I like, if I'm being honest with you any today.

624
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 2: It's been so hard I could tell.

625
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: I could tell like I can't even tell you that

626
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 1: without crying. Yeah, Like, I'll just go to the bathroom.

627
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 1: You guys make fun of our couch in the bathroom.

628
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: This time we have couches in the bathroom.

629
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 2: Couch.

630
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: I didn't lay down, but I sat there and I

631
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: just cried in the bathroom instead of having to sit

632
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: on a toilet because I don't It just comes out

633
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: of nowhere. And like, but you're going you went through

634
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: so much and you're you're doing so incredible with how

635
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: strong you are, And I don't know that this is

636
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: such a stupid thing to feel so sad about, like

637
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: because it was somebody who just said, you know this

638
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: isn't going to work.

639
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: Well, one, it's not stupid. Two you are you went

640
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 3: all in and that's that's a hard thing for you

641
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: to go all in into. Something and then it not

642
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 3: work and it be it blindside slight side you too,

643
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 3: like something to blindside you like that is you don't

644
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 3: know how to prepare yourself for it, and that's why

645
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 3: it's going to take you a while.

646
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: You know.

647
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: It was It's like.

648
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 3: My dad, like, if it would have been cancer, I

649
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: guess I could have really just like known that this

650
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 3: was coming or it was something like that. But since

651
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 3: it was just an accident, I wasn't ready for this.

652
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 3: None of us were ready for this. Same with you.

653
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 3: You were blindsided. You weren't ready for this, and you

654
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 3: had opened up everything. You're like, I haven't heard you

655
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 3: on Caroline Hobbies podcast, you know, like yeah, you're like

656
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,719
Speaker 3: all out, this is the best thing in the world,

657
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: like he is blah blah blah blah blah. But and

658
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: that just came to a quick halt. Yeah, that's not

659
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: gonna be easy, Morgan. It's not gonna be easy. And

660
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 3: you're not stupid for feeling this way or acting like this.

661
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 3: This is completely understandable.

662
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: No, But I also just you know, you get mad

663
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: at yourself. You're like, why do I care that much?

664
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: You know, like it's one of those where I'm like,

665
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 1: just stop. Just he did it. Why can't you do it?

666
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: You know, like other people can just turn it on

667
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: and off. And I'm sitting here like, Okay, I'm gonna

668
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: be a little blubber mess because I don't know how

669
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: else to get all these feelings out. This is how

670
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: I exist in the world, and it makes me mad

671
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: at myself. So then I'm like sad, and then I'm

672
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: mad on top of it, you know, like I should

673
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: be able to just talk about these things and be.

674
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: Okay, No, no, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be. And

675
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 3: we're all different, you know, we're all different.

676
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 1: But you are so strong in everything that's going on,

677
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're literally looking at me, and I

678
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: look like I'm a kid that somebody just like really

679
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: hurt my dog. Basically, what's what it feels like.

680
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 3: Min Own is a different, complete, different situation. Like if

681
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 3: you would have seen me three weeks ago, two weeks ago, yeah,

682
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been like this. But I've prayed really

683
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 3: really hard, and I've.

684
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: You know, I just.

685
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 3: Like I said, I've just I've come. I feel a

686
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 3: complete piece with all of it. I don't like it,

687
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 3: but I'm at peace with it. You're gonna be there too.

688
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 3: You will get there. You will get there too. And

689
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: this is so hard right now. And you know what,

690
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 3: our job is really hard when you're going through something

691
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 3: like this, which is I'm so thankful to Bobby and

692
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 3: Scuba and everyone letting me have my time, because there's

693
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: no way I could have even thought about coming back

694
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 3: or even doing videos because I thought about while I

695
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 3: was over there. I was like, let me text Morgan

696
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 3: to see you know what, there's a lot of downtime.

697
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: I don't need to be hanging out with my brother

698
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 3: for this long, Like, let me just step away and

699
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 3: do videos for two hours. But then really, when it

700
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 3: came down and I'm like, I'm gonna cry over this keyboard,

701
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do a video like one of the

702
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 3: spell stuff.

703
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: The emotional capacity like it wasn't there.

704
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 3: It wasn't there, you know. So like our job, while

705
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 3: you're going through something like this is hard. You have

706
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 3: to sit there tell your opinion about something where you're

707
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 3: like like you know, like you really do care when

708
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 3: all you're thinking about is my life is crumbled right now.

709
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I just want to be crying in the

710
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: bathroom please don't ask me what I feel about this time? Right,

711
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: And I think Bobby does send some of that, which

712
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: is really awesome about him. They'll like, look, I'm just

713
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: like down. I'm like, please don't come to me, Please

714
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: don't come to me, because I might just cry and

715
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: it's not even a crying subject.

716
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 3: Does Lunchbox help you, you know with his ridiculous questions

717
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: and does he help you laugh a little bit about that?

718
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, the comedic relief, especially at the end

719
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: of the announcement really helped, cause I was just like,

720
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: it's also like I'm back in therapy and I'm like,

721
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: having to relive it in my head is what I

722
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: think is hard because I'm like I just keep getting

723
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: more sad and then more angry, and those those keep

724
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: the emotions keep paling on. And so like when you

725
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: when that happens, you feel so emotionally exhausted after having

726
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 1: to share that much of who you are, and so

727
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: like when lunch Fox comes in and makes a joke,

728
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I can breathe for a second, you

729
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, is he probably making find Yeah, sure,

730
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,959
Speaker 1: and just give it on me right now. But like

731
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: it at least allows, I think, my heart to breathe

732
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: from the vulnerability that I'm exposing myself to.

733
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 2: How hard was that for you to come on here

734
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 2: and tell everyone what was going on?

735
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: So hard? Any I wanted to like literally cry a river,

736
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: but so much of my healing, Like the only way

737
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: that I was going to move on, or at least

738
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: start my process moving on, was to tell everybody, because

739
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: I had already shared multiple times like this is a

740
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: guy that I cared so much about and now that's

741
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: not happening. So like, I had people that were in

742
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: my damns, like kind people who were like, you're so

743
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: happy You're glowing over the weekend of like the breakup

744
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: that happened, and I was like, oh god, yeah, I

745
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: was like, this is so bad. I can't keep getting

746
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: these messages because I'm not I'm like literally not okay.

747
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: And I was like, I have to share this so

748
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: that I can they can move on with me, you

749
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Because I had led him into

750
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 1: that part. I hadn't shown him and I you know,

751
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,879
Speaker 1: nobody knew his name or anything, but like I had

752
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: posted about him and I had shared really happy stories

753
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: about all of that. So of course they were going

754
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 1: to think that I was continually to be happy until

755
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 1: I told.

756
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 2: Him I wasn't.

757
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 1: So I was like, regardless of how much this is

758
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: going to suck, I have, I have to stop this

759
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: because I can't move on and I can't process this

760
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: until I'm no longer getting messages of like I'm so

761
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: happy for you and you you finally found it. You

762
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean?

763
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 3: Is that a big part of your process to just

764
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 3: be open with everyone, tell everyone what's up, and get

765
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 3: rid of everything and just clear him from your life?

766
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: I think so, because I don't. It's this is also

767
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: so unique, Eddie. I've never exited a relationship that wasn't horrible.

768
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about that.

769
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: So, like all of them have, I've had a reason.

770
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: I had good reasons to get out, to hate them,

771
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,720
Speaker 1: to be mad, to be and just like move forward.

772
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 2: This one was like what the no?

773
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 1: And this one I'm still trying to understand and come

774
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 1: out of. So like I get that, I don't think

775
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 1: my body even knows how to process what I'm going through.

776
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: So that's also like an extra layer on that. But yeah,

777
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I if I don't be open and vulnerable.

778
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: I will shut down and I will legitimately be depressed.

779
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 2: Like we're not going to do that.

780
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to like not doing that. I'll text

781
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: my friends. I'm like, I am not doing great right now.

782
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: Please put something on my schedule so I don't go

783
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 1: here because.

784
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: Oh no, Broadway Morgan's Oh gosh, no.

785
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: That I refuse to go to. I'm not drinking Eddie,

786
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: like I haven't. I haven't drank anything since because I

787
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: know that it's going to make this worse.

788
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 2: Good call, good job, Good for you, that's awesome.

789
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: Like one, I'll this is so mature of you. Well

790
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 1: because also I don't. I'm not super hungry anyway, and

791
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't even want to like drink water.

792
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 1: So like I'm just like, okay, I need to not

793
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: be adding alcohol to this process.

794
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 2: We've got to work on that part. Though. I know

795
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 2: you need your friend to feed you.

796
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: It's more forced Jesus. But yeah, it's like I'll just go.

797
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: I will literally go into a depression. And so I

798
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: realized the only way I don't is if it's like

799
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: I have people holding me accountable. So if I'm so

800
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: open and honest, about it. I can't lie to myself,

801
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, I can't lie that this isn't happening, and

802
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: I can't take it back. So if I just tell everybody,

803
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: then everybody's going to be around me and say, hey,

804
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: how you doing today? And I have to face it

805
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 1: because I will. You know, I live by myself. I

806
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 1: have my dog and my cab. But like I live

807
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: by myself, I could go into a hole if I

808
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: wanted to.

809
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is the same thing I was

810
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 3: talking about with when someone loses a loved one, like

811
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 3: check on you. You want people to check on you.

812
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 3: You need people to check on you again. But I

813
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 3: sit right next to you and you walk in and

814
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh no, Morgan's having a bad day. Do

815
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 3: I leave her alone? Like really, I think, like, do

816
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 3: I leave her alone? And I've you noticed I tapped

817
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 3: you kind of on the shoulder, rubbed, just give you

818
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 3: a little love tap on your shoulder, a little bit

819
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 3: heelty if everynoun now and then because I know that

820
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 3: like I don't have the words right now. Again, I

821
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 3: don't have the words for you, but I want you

822
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 3: to know that I'm here for you.

823
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: It's like even just you doing that. I was like, Okay,

824
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: it was like a call.

825
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: Mean, yeah, you know what I mean. But again, most

826
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 3: people think, like, let me just give her a space.

827
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 3: Morgan does need your space, Morgan needs the love.

828
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I did. I mean just to your point

829
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: you were talking about earlier, how you just felt like

830
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 1: you just felt so much around you. And I have,

831
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: I mean people have shown up. I have. I've had

832
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: multiple people stay the night with me. I've had neighbors

833
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: dropping off wine dudes, no, go forst It's good, all right, No, no, no,

834
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,879
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not spiraling an alcohol hooking up. And

835
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 1: I'm not. Even the idea of dating again literally makes

836
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: me sick to my stomach. I can imagine. So I have.

837
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: I've had people surrounding me. But like when you have

838
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 1: a history of depression, it's going to come back no

839
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: matter what you want to do. You know, you can

840
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: have the whole world around you and you're still going

841
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, no, I want to you know,

842
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: John off a cliff real quick.

843
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,720
Speaker 2: Your therapist good.

844
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's amazing, But like it's just still hard. It's

845
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: it's fine. You have to find your own ways to

846
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: manage it.

847
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 3: So yeah, because it's just like, you know, you go

848
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 3: to church, go to therapist, whatever it is. You know,

849
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 3: you feel good at that moment, or you're learning so

850
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 3: much that moment, but you're gonna walk out those doors

851
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 3: and you're gonna face it again. Yeah, back to real

852
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: life waiting for you. So that's where you need to

853
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:14,959
Speaker 3: take over.

854
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: You have to. You have to find ways to manage

855
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: it because otherwise you don't exist. I wouldn't be at work,

856
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be coming in every day if I didn't.

857
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,240
Speaker 1: So I'm managing it good, but it hurts, like hell yeah,

858
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 1: like just like I want to take a pay away

859
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: the pain for you that you felt and that you're feeling,

860
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: like I take that on from everybody else, but for mine,

861
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: I just let it stay there, you know what I mean?

862
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: And why I do that to myself, I don't know,

863
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 1: but that's just what it is. It's good. I suppose

864
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: the healing will come quicker that way.

865
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 2: But it'll take time. It just takes time.

866
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: Time is the one thing I don't like, I know.

867
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: I don't like that we get older. I don't like

868
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: that we lose people. I don't like that time is

869
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 1: the thing that heals all the wounds. There's this component

870
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: of our lives time that we literally can't control.

871
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 3: It's really patience because all that's going to happen, Everything

872
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 3: that we've talked about is just going to happen to everyone.

873
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 3: I literally taught thought about a year ago. I was like, wow, man,

874
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 3: I really haven't lost anyone in my life because I've

875
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 3: seen like a lot of my friends lately kind of

876
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 3: just like, oh, my parents, my dad passed, and we're

877
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: just at that I'm at that age where like our

878
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 3: parents are getting older, they're getting to that age.

879
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 2: It's funny.

880
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,959
Speaker 3: My dad would talk a lot too about all his buddies, Like, man,

881
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 3: all my buddies are dying around me. You would wake up,

882
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 3: look at the obituarys and be like, God, I lost

883
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 3: another buddy. Like that's just kind of the age he

884
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 3: was at and he wasn't that old. But you know,

885
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 3: if you just you're at that time where you're like,

886
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 3: this is just going to happen everyone, and we're never

887
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 3: gonna be ready for it.

888
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: But it's just this life.

889
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: I know. I've kind of suck sometimes, doesn't it does?

890
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: It does?

891
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 3: My sister and I were saying that a lot. We

892
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 3: were saying that a lot.

893
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 1: The only thing that I can say to be like,

894
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: you know, it's just it's hard.

895
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 2: It's hard.

896
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: Being a human is hard, really really hard, like the

897
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: whole human experience. It's just and we choose to do

898
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: it every day. Yep, isn't that crazy?

899
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 2: It is crazy. But we're good. We're good, Morgan, Yeah

900
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 2: we are.

901
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: We're knocking feet right now. Thank you for coming on

902
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: Eddie of course and crying with me and opening up

903
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: about your family and stuff.

904
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: You know, I hadn't really talked about it really, you know,

905
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 3: you can't talk about on the show. That's part of

906
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: it too, right, Like my job here is not to

907
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 3: be sad like and I like being happy. Like, don't

908
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 3: get me wrong, I'm not acting happy. I like being happy.

909
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 3: I like feeling happy, and I really couldn't wait to

910
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 3: get back to feel happy with everyone, with all you guys,

911
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 3: because that's just a part of I Just when there's

912
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 3: a stressful situation or a negative situation, I don't like it.

913
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to get out well because it out

914
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,439
Speaker 1: is healing. Yeah, you know, you stay in it, there's

915
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 1: no healing.

916
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I like we're playing games again. I like

917
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 3: winning easy trivia rude.

918
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: I like all that you had to throw that one

919
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 1: in there. You just came back and why I had to,

920
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: I had to, I know, I know. But you also

921
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 1: deserve to talk about it, you know, because that's also

922
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: something that I had to learn a lot later in

923
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: my life now, within probably the last few years of

924
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: like I can't always put on a grave face. Yeah

925
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: I can't. It was killing me, Like everybody constantly wanted

926
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: to think that I was okay and I wasn't. And

927
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: so you as a human, even though you are happy

928
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: laughing Eddie, just had a really crappy thing happen. Yeah,

929
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,399
Speaker 1: and you get to be sad. You get to come

930
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: in here and like not be okay.

931
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 2: You know, I might need your couch a few times.

932
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: You can use my couch as much as you want.

933
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 2: We'll sign out there, like don't go on there, Eddies

934
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 2: on the couch.

935
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: You can have the couch, like because it's it's going

936
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: to hit you out of nowhere and you can't stop it,

937
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't stop it. But you deserve to have

938
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 1: that too. Don't forget that when you're you know, you're

939
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 1: in here and you're being strong and it does make

940
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: you feel good to be back, like because you feel

941
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: so strong right now. But life just has a funny

942
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: way of making you face your crap.

943
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 2: Yep, right in the face.

944
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: Don't be too strong, okay, and I'll try and get stronger.

945
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: There we got meet in the mill.

946
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we're good at end this thing.

947
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: Yea, thank you Morgan.

948
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on. Of course, it was good to

949
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: have a conversation with you and you know, grief of

950
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:53,240
Speaker 1: all kinds.

951
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 2: Sorry, guys, this wasn't the happiest podcast, but.

952
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: That's why Part two and Part three are happy. You're lighthearted.

953
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 1: I had a feel and I just needed to chat.

954
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, we haven't. We haven't chatted.

955
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: I just heard it.

956
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 2: Other than the videos are in.

957
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: Eddie and I have been on like survival levels of

958
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: just like different proportions. And that's okay, all right, everybody.

959
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,439
Speaker 1: I hope you have a great weekend. Eddie, thank you again.

960
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 2: Yes, you're so welcome. Everyone have a great weekend. Bye bye.

961
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 2: That's the best bits of the week with Morgan.

962
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,359
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Be sure to check out the other

963
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: two parts this weekend.

964
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 2: Go follow the show on all social platforms and followed

965
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 2: web Girl Morgan to submit your listener questions for next

966
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 2: week's episode.