1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:00,880
Speaker 1: The show is on.

2
00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:06,560
Speaker 2: It's stay or Go, Alyssa. Is he morning, Alyssa? How

3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,960
Speaker 2: are you by?

4
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:09,680
Speaker 3: Guys?

5
00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,200
Speaker 2: Lissa, welcome to the show. So little group therapy and

6
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,480
Speaker 2: stay or go? What's going on with this? This is

7
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,880
Speaker 2: a boyfriend of yours. Why don't you tell us everything?

8
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:20,680
Speaker 4: Okay?

9
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:28,840
Speaker 5: Well, so I have been dating this guy for six.

10
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,560
Speaker 1: Months and.

11
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,479
Speaker 2: Congratulations, that's my longest relationship. So that's amazing. Basically that's

12
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,240
Speaker 2: a that's a marriage. That's a milestone. That's incredible. Well,

13
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,080
Speaker 2: wish you another six months basically a lifetime of happiness together.

14
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,000
Speaker 2: You've been with this guy for six months? What's wrong

15
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,599
Speaker 2: with him?

16
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,440
Speaker 6: I just don't.

17
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,800
Speaker 1: I'm rashing for your advice, because.

18
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:57,760
Speaker 7: How often do you think people need to be talking

19
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:04,080
Speaker 7: to each other when they're they're because I so he

20
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,440
Speaker 7: is like a very demanding schedule's a she's an er doctor.

21
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:13,040
Speaker 7: And after like the first couple of months, I'm like, okay, okay,

22
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,440
Speaker 7: so I get it, like sometimes we're going to go,

23
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 7: you know, a whole day or so, it's like not

24
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,200
Speaker 7: talking if I didn't reach out to him, you know.

25
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:31,320
Speaker 2: Because he's saving lives, you mean we presumably Okay, I understand.

26
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,560
Speaker 2: I mean they like, you know, so you the guy's

27
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,399
Speaker 2: in an er doctor. He probably works, I don't know what,

28
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,319
Speaker 2: he works, twenty four hour shifts at a time, you know,

29
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,560
Speaker 2: who knows. I think they're probably maybe somebody can educate me,

30
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,160
Speaker 2: or on an average ar doctor schedule. But I would

31
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,120
Speaker 2: imagine they're long shifts, and I would I would guess

32
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,280
Speaker 2: that they're you know, highs and lows as far as

33
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,160
Speaker 2: it gets busy or some days are different than others.

34
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,160
Speaker 2: But so this dude is not all that communicats it

35
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,880
Speaker 2: when he's working as an er doctor saving people's lives.

36
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,040
Speaker 5: Well, it's just like if I didn't reach out, like

37
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,960
Speaker 5: I don't know if I hear.

38
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,639
Speaker 2: From him, maybe maybe you should text him and say

39
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,240
Speaker 2: my gallbladder hurts or something like he said every time,

40
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,240
Speaker 2: just making some kind of medical thing, and then he'd

41
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,160
Speaker 2: have to respond to You.

42
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,400
Speaker 1: Can't fall I can't fall apart. We had six months

43
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,320
Speaker 1: and I'm running out of.

44
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:27,119
Speaker 2: Almet that's true. Ye, Okay, So you're upset because when

45
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,280
Speaker 2: this guy's working, he doesn't communicate with you. Does he

46
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,920
Speaker 2: communicate with you when he's not working?

47
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,280
Speaker 3: Well, I so I brought it up.

48
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,600
Speaker 5: To him, and he just was like, oh, like we

49
00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,280
Speaker 5: don't have to talk every single day, like I'm busy

50
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 5: or like I am catching up on sleep, but I'm

51
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 5: not at the er because I'm tired from work and life.

52
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:54,280
Speaker 3: And sometimes he's like when he's not texting you, right.

53
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I guess like he's like, oh, like I

54
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 5: have to you know, fo my laundry and.

55
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,240
Speaker 1: Like do you like heriage? So he can't like, uh,

56
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:06,000
Speaker 1: you just yawned.

57
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,600
Speaker 3: Are you are doctor?

58
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,880
Speaker 1: Why are you so tired sampall night trying to get

59
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:20,560
Speaker 1: a hold of smam gys. No, I can tell yeah.

60
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,760
Speaker 2: I mean the guy could obviously communicate with you at

61
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,960
Speaker 2: times when he's not working. I guess if the complaint

62
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,200
Speaker 2: is that he disappears for a day and you know

63
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,040
Speaker 2: that he's at the hospital, you know, helping people, then

64
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:35,240
Speaker 2: I can understand that. But you know, if he's got

65
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,000
Speaker 2: days on end off and he's not making any effort

66
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,920
Speaker 2: to see you, slash talk to you and he says

67
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,640
Speaker 2: it's because he's doing laundry, then he ain't that interested.

68
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:48,160
Speaker 2: So so I don't know. I mean, is it how

69
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,360
Speaker 2: have you gotten through six months of this though? Because

70
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,360
Speaker 2: I mean that's a long time. It's a relatively long

71
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,480
Speaker 2: time to date someone who you feel like isn't paying

72
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 2: attention to you.

73
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,600
Speaker 1: I've just never dated somebody that.

74
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:07,640
Speaker 5: We didn't talk every day, and I und text different.

75
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,080
Speaker 5: He's like in a different kind of job, so it's

76
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 5: a different kind of lifestyle. So I was like trying

77
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,840
Speaker 5: to sort of acclimate. And I just don't know if

78
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 5: it's like it's just like a red flag.

79
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,280
Speaker 2: Or well, I wonder I will let me take some

80
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,640
Speaker 2: phone calls on this. Alyssa eight five five five three five.

81
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,880
Speaker 2: I think the guy's got an extremely valid reason for

82
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,160
Speaker 2: for not being as communicative. I think that if you've

83
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,160
Speaker 2: ever dated a doctor before, or I think that's probably

84
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,160
Speaker 2: how it goes. I mean, I hear from people all

85
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,640
Speaker 2: the time who are with doctors that it's almost like

86
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,320
Speaker 2: they're the second priority to the patients. In fact, I

87
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,920
Speaker 2: feel like this and thank you and listen for call him.

88
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:50,400
Speaker 1: By the way.

89
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,560
Speaker 2: I also wonder if part of the problem is that

90
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,280
Speaker 2: it takes your twenty minutes to spit out a story.

91
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,680
Speaker 1: So I was just curious that.

92
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,240
Speaker 2: He could have saved seven lives in the pure time

93
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,320
Speaker 2: that it took her to explain that correct. And she

94
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,400
Speaker 2: also was half a sleep, so yes, she ought. I'm

95
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,279
Speaker 2: just curious if that's part of the issue. I'd love

96
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,000
Speaker 2: to talk. I want to hear both sides of the story.

97
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,719
Speaker 2: I want this guy to be like to call up

98
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,039
Speaker 2: here and go, dude, she's hot and she you know,

99
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 2: does a lot of things well, but storytelling eight one

100
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,919
Speaker 2: of them. No, you know, because it took her twenty

101
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,760
Speaker 2: minutes to tell us basically that this guy's busy and

102
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,000
Speaker 2: isn't able to talk to her as often is. But

103
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,320
Speaker 2: it also sounds like when he's not working, he doesn't

104
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,280
Speaker 2: make the effort to make up for it, which I mean,

105
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,520
Speaker 2: I think you have to accept that. If if you're

106
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,080
Speaker 2: this guy and you're going to be the guy who says, hey,

107
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,520
Speaker 2: I'm busy and I am not going to be able

108
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,120
Speaker 2: to you know necessarily, you know, meet all your communication

109
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,920
Speaker 2: needs for these days or this much time, then I

110
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,440
Speaker 2: think you've got to make sure that you do when

111
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,440
Speaker 2: when you're not working, well, then.

112
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 8: Don't be in a relationship like I think you can

113
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,919
Speaker 8: shoot eight texts every day. I'm sure he talks to

114
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,760
Speaker 8: his mom, his grandma, whoever, the neighbor, like, I'm sure

115
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,720
Speaker 8: he's texting somebody like we're on our phones all the time,

116
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,120
Speaker 8: and I understand his job is like crazy demanding. It's

117
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,080
Speaker 8: a whole different world that I do not understand. And

118
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,280
Speaker 8: I'm not comparing applesip apples to oranges, or apples to apples.

119
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,919
Speaker 3: Okay, apples to oranges. I'm not comparing.

120
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,919
Speaker 1: What do you mean? What are you trying not to compare?

121
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,600
Speaker 3: I'm going to say in a second, I sound like her.

122
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,560
Speaker 2: Now are you comparing two things that are similar and

123
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,880
Speaker 2: two things that are different? Now you mean apple to apples?

124
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:12,159
Speaker 3: Apples?

125
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,640
Speaker 2: You're not comparing apples to applesct if that would mean

126
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,680
Speaker 2: that you're comparing two things.

127
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,560
Speaker 1: Is the same? Correct?

128
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,880
Speaker 8: Well, my husband's where I'm not high bud right, give

129
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,479
Speaker 8: me a second, but my my husband's a fireman and

130
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,200
Speaker 8: they're twenty four on right, so very similar, I'm assuming

131
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 8: with the hours twenty four on.

132
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,440
Speaker 3: Okay in a way right again, not.

133
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,560
Speaker 8: Comparing what they do for a living as far as

134
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 8: their you know, demands, I don't know.

135
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,560
Speaker 3: But what I am saying is he can.

136
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,080
Speaker 8: Still shoot me a text even if he's about to

137
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,599
Speaker 8: go into a fire. You know, let's just say coming

138
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,200
Speaker 8: off r be about to go into Hey, yeah, I

139
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,720
Speaker 8: don't see. I don't expect him some right, but like

140
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,680
Speaker 8: I expect him to at least hear from him once

141
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 8: or twice a day would be nice. Yeah, and he

142
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,120
Speaker 8: does that for me.

143
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,760
Speaker 9: Yes, I don't know if she's in an actual relationship.

144
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,840
Speaker 9: And I think people sometimes get this confused, like we're

145
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:52,599
Speaker 9: just dating, do.

146
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,200
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?

147
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,040
Speaker 9: So you are if I want to go out on Friday,

148
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 9: I might hit you up and say let's go out

149
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,000
Speaker 9: on Friday, or let's go out, you know, this weekend.

150
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,679
Speaker 9: But we're not in a real relationship. We are just dating.

151
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,560
Speaker 9: We are just friends. You are someone that I hit up,

152
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,919
Speaker 9: and I think she may think she's in a relationship

153
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,520
Speaker 9: with this doctor, but it's relationship to me.

154
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,160
Speaker 3: You're just talking.

155
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not trying to say that this is this

156
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,160
Speaker 2: makes it right. But like one of my best friends

157
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 2: growing up was my doctor's kid. Okay, when I was

158
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,120
Speaker 2: a little kid, and we used to joke about like

159
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,480
Speaker 2: a little kids like he was. He was the least

160
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,720
Speaker 2: tended to person of any I got more attention from

161
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,000
Speaker 2: his father than he did because I was a patient.

162
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it wasn't and he.

163
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,320
Speaker 2: Was a great dad and he loved his kids, but

164
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 2: it was like I feel like for a lot of doctors,

165
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,280
Speaker 2: and if you're a doctor, i'd love to know if

166
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,880
Speaker 2: you feel the same way, or if you're married to

167
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,320
Speaker 2: a doctor, which I think we're about to talk to someone.

168
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,560
Speaker 2: I feel like it's very common for people to feel

169
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,160
Speaker 2: like they are second priority to the career. Absolutely, and

170
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,840
Speaker 2: they joke all the time like doctor's kids are the

171
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,720
Speaker 2: least cared for because they care for everyone else all

172
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,640
Speaker 2: day and then they come home and their kids, like

173
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 2: I have a cough.

174
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,080
Speaker 1: It's like, you're fine. I just know this, Like you're fine,

175
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,400
Speaker 1: Like you're you're fine. I'm looking at you, you're walking,

176
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 1: everything is working. But we used to joke about that,

177
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,119
Speaker 1: like my friend Mark would be like, yeah, my dad

178
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,840
Speaker 1: probably knows more about your health and well being than mine,

179
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,840
Speaker 1: because well, you pay to go there.

180
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,160
Speaker 2: Hey Mary, yes, very Hi, good morning. So you are

181
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 2: married to an er doctor. Oh and perfect, this is amazing.

182
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,120
Speaker 2: So what is your perspective when you.

183
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,560
Speaker 10: Hear this woman So granted they've only been together six months,

184
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,000
Speaker 10: and granted I was with my husband through medical school

185
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,480
Speaker 10: and residency, so we went through the whole process together.

186
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 10: But you know, if the in my opinion, if the

187
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,680
Speaker 10: if the boyfriend was were really into her, then he

188
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 10: would be contacting her a quick text here and there.

189
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,719
Speaker 10: My husband and I are able to connect, you know,

190
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,880
Speaker 10: and he's able to pick up a FaceTime to say

191
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,319
Speaker 10: good night to our daughter. They rarely rarely work twenty

192
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 10: four hours. It's normally, like, you know, at twelve to

193
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,680
Speaker 10: fifteen hours, depending on the you know, the acuity of

194
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 10: the hospital. So so they just need to I just

195
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,680
Speaker 10: think that they need to have that talk of you know,

196
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,359
Speaker 10: communication at this point.

197
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,080
Speaker 2: And you've become you're just kind of used to this.

198
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,320
Speaker 2: In fact, I would imagine that now it's probably better

199
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,920
Speaker 2: than it wasn't during residency.

200
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,880
Speaker 11: Absolutely, absolutely, yes, so.

201
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 2: This is just something you've become accustomed to. But so

202
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,920
Speaker 2: for someone who's just encountering this, it could be really difficult.

203
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,400
Speaker 10: Yes, absolutely, I think it's you know, not only is

204
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 10: it difficult for doctors to become doctors, but it's also

205
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,440
Speaker 10: very difficult for their spouses or girlfriend just because you've

206
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,360
Speaker 10: given up so much.

207
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, people need to give you a lot of credit,

208
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,120
Speaker 2: Marry for sticking with someone through medical school and residency

209
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 2: because you know, and and God bless him for the

210
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,439
Speaker 2: work that he does. But the fact of the matter is,

211
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,280
Speaker 2: I don't think people realize just how how much you're

212
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,760
Speaker 2: sacrificing as the spouse of that person. I mean, you're

213
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,720
Speaker 2: basically saying, if you met the guy in the beginning

214
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,520
Speaker 2: of medical school, hey, for like the next eight to

215
00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,080
Speaker 2: ten years.

216
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,880
Speaker 1: I and I'm not going to be your number one.

217
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,400
Speaker 11: Yes, sir?

218
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,520
Speaker 2: Why you call me sir? I very polite of you,

219
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,120
Speaker 2: but I don't deserve that respect.

220
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,000
Speaker 10: Sorry, it's a it is a respect thing.

221
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,559
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what you don't have to give

222
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,199
Speaker 2: it to me. But Mary Hay, thank you so much

223
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,200
Speaker 2: for listening. Have a good day.

224
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,000
Speaker 1: Absolutely too logical.

225
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,880
Speaker 2: I tried to date a girl who is in her

226
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 2: residency and she's a lovely girl. I liked her a lot,

227
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 2: but my thing with her was that like she'd be

228
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,040
Speaker 2: you know, she'd have three and this is not any

229
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,000
Speaker 2: fault of hers, but she'd go three four days, you know,

230
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,319
Speaker 2: doing these wild like twenty on four of whatever. It

231
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,480
Speaker 2: was crazy. But then when she was free, it was

232
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 2: like I needed to be available. It's like, well, I'm

233
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,640
Speaker 2: free on these days, so like you're giving that all

234
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,559
Speaker 2: them and it's like, wait, a minute. That's just not

235
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:41,920
Speaker 2: how I roll, Like I don't I don't know, Like

236
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,160
Speaker 2: I'm not on I'm not on demand boyfriend, you know

237
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 2: what I mean?

238
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:47,280
Speaker 1: Like I don't know.

239
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 2: I needed a little more balance in this thing because

240
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,160
Speaker 2: then it's like, you know, two weeks from Friday, I

241
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,040
Speaker 2: don't have to work at twenty four, so like we're

242
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,760
Speaker 2: doing this, and it was like, I don't know what

243
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,640
Speaker 2: I'm doing two weeks and when I got to wait

244
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,680
Speaker 2: two weeks. But I also understood when she is going through,

245
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,559
Speaker 2: and I just I think it for her either date

246
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,120
Speaker 2: another person who has been through is going through the

247
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 2: same thing, can relate to that same thing. Or maybe

248
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 2: you're not going to be taken seriously as seriously in

249
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 2: a relationship until you until you're done living that lifestyle.

250
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,680
Speaker 2: You know, I think you need to get because it's hard.

251
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:17,599
Speaker 2: It's hard.

252
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,760
Speaker 10: He could he could call text her face time like

253
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,840
Speaker 10: she did say if he liked her, he would be

254
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,680
Speaker 10: able to do it.

255
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:30,480
Speaker 12: Because she's in a relationship to disappear like even this

256
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,080
Speaker 12: girl was, it might take her it's six or seven

257
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,679
Speaker 12: hours to respond what she did exactly.

258
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,480
Speaker 9: He is calling Pauline all his way into a fire. Yeah,

259
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,920
Speaker 9: girl is not in a relationship.

260
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,040
Speaker 8: Facts if I if he wanted to, he would thank you,

261
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 8: Hobby would Yes, I'm so.

262
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,840
Speaker 2: About to get this kitten out of the tree, but

263
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 2: first I wanted to say hi to your good morning beautiful. Yeah,

264
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,240
Speaker 2: hey Kim, how you doing?

265
00:11:58,559 --> 00:11:58,640
Speaker 11: Hi?

266
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,320
Speaker 1: Kim. You're a nurse, so you get that. It's like

267
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,240
Speaker 1: you get this field.

268
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:03,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

269
00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:08,199
Speaker 11: So I think overall, I think she needs to go.

270
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,959
Speaker 11: I would say maybe first they need to have some

271
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 11: form of communication about what they could potentially do on

272
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,720
Speaker 11: both sides. But just from hearing that little blurb off

273
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,360
Speaker 11: her talking, it seems like this the way that his

274
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,880
Speaker 11: lifestyle and work life works is not going to fit

275
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,520
Speaker 11: her knees. And that's okay, but she needs to understand

276
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,640
Speaker 11: that when he's at work in the r you don't

277
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,440
Speaker 11: know what your day is going to turn out. You

278
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,079
Speaker 11: could have a really slow date, or you could have

279
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,200
Speaker 11: a day where you're not even going to the bathroom.

280
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 11: So if he has a day off, he might just

281
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,520
Speaker 11: be burnt out. You know, he's making decisions all day long.

282
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,720
Speaker 11: And to have your phone, you know, be blowing up

283
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,559
Speaker 11: all day. I know, like when I have my days off,

284
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,120
Speaker 11: but people are texting me. I'm like, oh my god,

285
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,840
Speaker 11: what do you want now? Like I'm just overstimulated and

286
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,520
Speaker 11: he might just need time to just have a day

287
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,000
Speaker 11: to be brought and just be a complete plug because

288
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,240
Speaker 11: of everything that he's done the day before, the things

289
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,199
Speaker 11: that he has seen, talk about that they see, and

290
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,439
Speaker 11: he needs tomasized the cross.

291
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,680
Speaker 4: You don't go ahead, no, I Kim.

292
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,960
Speaker 2: You could make the argument. You could make the argument

293
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,000
Speaker 2: on the flip side. I mean, we've given this this

294
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,640
Speaker 2: woman a hard time. Lovingly, we love her, she listens,

295
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,040
Speaker 2: but word economy was not maybe her strength. But you

296
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,520
Speaker 2: could make the argument that maybe this guy's not in

297
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 2: a place to be a partner either, you know, because

298
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,800
Speaker 2: there is such thing as is he's going to have

299
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,840
Speaker 2: to make it up somewhere else. Right, Like, I get it.

300
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,080
Speaker 2: If he's working, maybe he can't communicate as much. But

301
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,280
Speaker 2: when he's not working, if he wants to, her needs

302
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,079
Speaker 2: matter too, right, So like if when he's not working

303
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,640
Speaker 2: and he's going to have to put some effort and

304
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 2: he can't just get away with this, I'll call you

305
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,720
Speaker 2: when I want. If in fact they're really in a relationship,

306
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,120
Speaker 2: if they're just hooking up, like Keiky says, exactly and

307
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 2: in the terms aren't there. Well, then he's not trying

308
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,240
Speaker 2: that hard. He doesn't have to.

309
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 11: No, I agree, But I'm also saying too that like

310
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,840
Speaker 11: if he has like a really rough day and he

311
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,400
Speaker 11: needs to just like turn his phone off, that should

312
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,400
Speaker 11: be okay too, but he should probably communicate that to

313
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,000
Speaker 11: her as well, to turn my phone off.

314
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I need some time.

315
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 11: But it sounds like his work life isn't going to

316
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,439
Speaker 11: be able to see what she needs. And like I

317
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 11: said before, that's kay two. They probably just need to

318
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,120
Speaker 11: have a conversation that he needs to explain, you know,

319
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,560
Speaker 11: his day, and I was and what she's looking for

320
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,920
Speaker 11: and was kind of like a.

321
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 2: Deal breaker for her and Kim, thanks for being a

322
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,760
Speaker 2: nurse too and for listening. Have a great day you too.

323
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 2: I'm a little concerned about this text right here, and

324
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 2: the concern is within the first five words says Hi, Fred,

325
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 2: I'm a neurosurgeon. Let's just stop it right there. What

326
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 2: are you doing listening to this? I am extremely concerned. Okay,

327
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 2: you right, you are way too smart for this. I

328
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,120
Speaker 2: don't need you thinking about any of this smut when

329
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:47,840
Speaker 2: you're in someone's brain. But this person says, I honest,

330
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 2: some typos here too, So I hope you weren't actually

331
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 2: operating when you wrote this. Maybe with Siri, maybe he was.

332
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 2: Maybe he's in someone's head. He's like, hey, Siri, text

333
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,880
Speaker 2: the radio station, he said, I text between patients with

334
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 2: my wife or operationations. If I'm late, I would at

335
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 2: least call. I think he's using it as an excuse.

336
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 2: But dating a doctor does require an amount of trust

337
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,080
Speaker 2: and independence on behalf of the partner.

338
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think that.

339
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,000
Speaker 2: I think it's probably going to be different terms than

340
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 2: it would be if you dated I don't know one.

341
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,920
Speaker 3: Of us for it's so good at dating a.

342
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,640
Speaker 1: Doctor, go me too. I wanted to talk to you.

343
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 1: I would do, That's what I thought that.

344
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,359
Speaker 2: I thought that, But I need like a little consistency

345
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,800
Speaker 2: like I need I don't know, a little like it

346
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,360
Speaker 2: was just it was a little erratic for me, and

347
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,840
Speaker 2: it was like it was either all on or all off.

348
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,240
Speaker 1: I need like a balance.

349
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 2: We can do mostly off and a little on, but

350
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 2: I needed, like I don't know, I felt like we

351
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,360
Speaker 2: were either like don't call me for a week, I'll

352
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: talk to you later. And then when that person was free,

353
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,640
Speaker 2: it was like I need all of your attention and like,

354
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 2: but I wasn't getting any of your attention before, Like

355
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 2: it was it was hot or cold, And I can't

356
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,440
Speaker 2: blame this girl for that, Like it totally isn't her fault.

357
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,080
Speaker 2: I really admire what she was doing and the difficulty

358
00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 2: of it, but I don't know a little little you know, Rachel, Hi,

359
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,360
Speaker 2: you can't see the hand movement, not making but it

360
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 2: was it was like a wishy, washy hand movement.

361
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 1: Rachel, What do you want to say? Good morning?

362
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 6: Good morning? Yeah, no, I was just calling to say

363
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,040
Speaker 6: I did a nurse. I know it's not try as

364
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 6: a doctor, but it's like the job is still demanding.

365
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,120
Speaker 6: So he works like twelve hours sixth a couple of

366
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,480
Speaker 6: days off the week, but like he's still like on

367
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,560
Speaker 6: his way to work, hoist me in good morning takes,

368
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,600
Speaker 6: or like when he's coming back from work, he'll face

369
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:31,080
Speaker 6: tiny you know. So it's like what he wants to do,

370
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 6: Like if he wants to communicate with you, he will,

371
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:34,680
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, he.

372
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 1: Wants you he will.

373
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 6: Want to exactly like and then like he sends me

374
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 6: like he's monthly scheduled because he gets that every beginning

375
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 6: of the month. So like I know when he's working,

376
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,760
Speaker 6: I know when he's busy. I also have his location.

377
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 6: I can see him at the hospital. So it's like somebody.

378
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,440
Speaker 1: Will just stocked the man. As long as he's stocked

379
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,800
Speaker 1: the man, and then you know, then he'll know for sure.

380
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 12: I get it.

381
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,960
Speaker 2: No, I'm messing with him. No, it's it's probably difficult. Rachel,

382
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 2: thank you, have a great day. That's glad you call.

383
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 2: Oh wait here we go, Hey, Nia, Hey, say, this

384
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 2: woman is dating an e R doctor for six months

385
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 2: and basically this dude will go days without communicating with her.

386
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 2: And he says it's because he's working, which is valid.

387
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 2: He says he's because he's exhausted, which is valid. He

388
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 2: says it's that he needs to, you know, sort of

389
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 2: do life things when he's not at the hospital.

390
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:24,920
Speaker 1: Valid.

391
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 2: He's also in a relationship and that requires that he

392
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:28,919
Speaker 2: needs to give a little.

393
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I hear you, right, I walk in the

394
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:38,720
Speaker 4: medical feud and for that doctor not to have just

395
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 4: one second to reach out to this young lady, he

396
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:47,200
Speaker 4: is not into har Yeah, I'm staking with assurance. Once

397
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 4: a guy is not reaching out either, testing you or

398
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,359
Speaker 4: calling you. He has someone else he's doing that.

399
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 1: Fault you listening to too much?

400
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 2: Okay, everybody who doesn't do it exactly right is cheating,

401
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 2: according to Kiki and Nia.

402
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 9: Apparently, yep, yeah, he has someone else who's doing this

403
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 9: for I'm not you, so baby go just move on.

404
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 1: You okay, all right, Nia, well thank you, have a

405
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 1: good day.

406
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 11: Nia, thank you.

407
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 2: Maybe the guy just doesn't have forty five minutes to

408
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 2: hear the story, you.

409
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 1: Know, Is that that too?

410
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 6: Yeah?

411
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 1: It up?

412
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 3: I thought I was bad.

413
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 1: Speed it up? Good morning, Hi, good morning? No, what

414
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 1: do you want to say? Welcome?

415
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 12: I oh?

416
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 13: So, I mean if she wants to, you know, see

417
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 13: how it goals.

418
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 3: Made me stay.

419
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,359
Speaker 13: But honestly, dating someone in the healthcare is not for

420
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,400
Speaker 13: the week. I work in healthcare, and honestly, like, because

421
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 13: you know, I live with my husband and have kids,

422
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 13: like I kind of make myself interact with them on

423
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,919
Speaker 13: my days off. But honestly, I don't know that I

424
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 13: would like I'll ignore my sister's messages, like we have

425
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 13: a group chat, my mom will text me, she'll call me,

426
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 13: and I honestly just I work night.

427
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 3: So I think it makes it even worse.

428
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 13: I definitely get like over stimulated.

429
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 11: I definitely need like a mental break.

430
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,680
Speaker 13: And like I have a you know, a six year old,

431
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 13: so she's still kind of neat. You know, she needs

432
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 13: me more than my fourteen year old. And I don't

433
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,440
Speaker 13: know that I would communicate with anybody if I didn't

434
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 13: live with my husband or if I didn't have like

435
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 13: a family, Like I'll tell my but I do tell

436
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 13: my sisters like, hey, I'm like I've just been I've

437
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 13: had like a hard time at work. I need a

438
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,719
Speaker 13: time out or sometimes I don't, but they know that

439
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 13: if I ignore them, it's because I'm just like mentally checked out.

440
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 13: And I mentally checked out for my three days off,

441
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 13: like I I got off work this morning, gonna work,

442
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 13: go back to work tonight, and then I'll be off

443
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 13: for three days and then I stilled. It still takes

444
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 13: me till seven pm tomorrow night.

445
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 4: For me to even feel okay.

446
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 13: Yeah, so you know, and so it's really it was

447
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 13: really hard, I think and my my husband, Like I

448
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 13: had had a conversation with my husband and talk him like, hey,

449
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 13: you know, I step out of the room sometimes like

450
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,919
Speaker 13: don't don't have family time, and I have to like

451
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 13: go to the room by myself and kind of just

452
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 13: like take time for myself.

453
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it. I get it, and I don't

454
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 2: get it like you do. But I appreciate you calling.

455
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you something. People's people's other people's needs

456
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 2: are important, but they could be so freaking annoying, sometimes unbelievable.

457
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 1: The entertainmer reporting in two minutes,