WEBVTT - Mama Needs Her Groove Back 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.000 Speaks to the Plannet. 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:02.520 I go by the name of Charlamagne the God and 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:04.920 guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:08.319 third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.360 back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:15.000 Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions Man, 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:17.560 D B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:20.319 B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.880 Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:25.479 Good Mom, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.440 her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.200 more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.120 We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.400 plus the food truck court to keep you fed while 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:37.960 you visit us. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:40.440 All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.280 Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.440 dot Com Flash Podcast Festival. 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:48.800 Welcome to Can't beleeve Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:48.840 --> 0:01:02.080 The Black Effects And just like that, we're back on 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:04.600 the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode. 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:05.920 With your jess. Hilarious. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.960 What I be doing, i'd be fixing mess. Taylor is 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.080 in here with me, but she's working or whatever. So 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:12.959 when she's tied, y'all, she says she's tied to y'all 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:15.839 senning and all these bullshit ay stories y'all can't spell, 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:19.560 y'all can't read not so I listen. She's pregnant, all, 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.360 so she just she's just tired, that's all. Baby's kicking, 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.720 and the baby is kicking, y'all, So she she's sick 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:27.600 of y'all, just like I was sick of y'all before. 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.200 But she's gonna be so just being with it. 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:34.000 Y'all know, y'all ever been pregnant, y'all know, it's a 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:35.880 lot of fucks that you don't give about a lot 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.720 of shit. So it's very hard to be pregnant and 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.120 to care about a lot of shit other than the baby. 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.640 Are you nervous yes? Her birth? 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.200 Okay, yes you are, because this is our first one. 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:49.680 She's having a little boy, and this is her first baby. 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.440 This is her and her man's first baby. So is 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:54.400 he just starting to get on your nerves as he's 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.440 starting to know? I mean, because it's gonna be that 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:00.000 phase that you go through, like yeah. 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:03.000 I mean, we get into like little tiny arguments, but 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:04.960 it's like he just says, it's. 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:08.560 My hormonal Yeah whatever. But he's good. He's good though. 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:11.519 Now Listen, I know I've shed a little bit of 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:14.400 light on this before, but Taylor, when I was pregnant, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.720 Taylor just didn't I'm not gonna say she didn't want kids, 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:18.960 but she didn't want to be the one to have 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.120 the kids. This is the woman who said that she 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.680 doesn't feel like I have to carry the baby for 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:25.360 nine months, and. 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.080 She still feels that way. I so wholeheartedly. 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:29.360 I just feel like, like, cool, the experience is great, 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:33.360 Like I get to feel his flooter's cool, but I 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.720 still want to like do some other stuff, Like yeah, 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:37.680 I like. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.000 You want to be able to smoke, You want to 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.120 be you want to break from being pregnant, like not much. 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:42.760 Strain's too goddamn long for you. 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.480 But did you know that elephants afgans have to be 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.280 pregnant for two years? Isn't that crazy? 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:47.639 Yeah? 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:49.560 And you, while you're sitting over heer complaining about nine 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.200 months them big motherfucker's got to walk around with another 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:55.400 big motherfucker inside of him for two years, two years 0:02:55.840 --> 0:03:00.320 just saying fun fact like no elephant like funat but 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:05.919 that ain't fun y'all fucking humans complain about so much ship. 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.280 How are you gonna how do you plan to give birth? Boo? 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.880 Do you plan to natural? Natural? Epidoral? Just give me 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.679 your business a little bit. I know I'm not. I mean, 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:18.679 I don't know. We'll see. I'm not gonna make it. 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.240 Think I'm gonna try to. You're not speak. 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.680 I'm saying like as in like natural wise like I'm 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:27.520 gonna try as hard as I can't, but yeah, tell 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.640 me that epida as soon as like yeah, like but 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.160 I feel like I can see myself like I can't 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:34.480 do it no more. It's gonna be too late, and 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:36.280 I'm going to put that big head baby out. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.280 I know that's gonna beautiful. I love it. I would 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:41.160 love to see it like. 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:45.320 It's just a pain, that's all. Like if if it 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.480 was just easy with that, Like I'm cool. 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.800 So do you want more than one kid? He does? 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.840 I want to say the second one? Yeah, family, can 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.960 we get through this one first? And then I say, 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:01.480 I just think because. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:02.880 It's your first time, you kind of psych yourself out, 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:04.480 and that's fine, but girl, you gonna look back and 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:06.160 be like, Okay, I can do this again, because what 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:09.080 you do it once is like I can do it again. 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.000 The only thing that makes you not want to do 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.720 it again is if your baby badter shit and you're 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:14.800 like another one. 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:16.760 Exactly, I'm having a boy. 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.840 Yeah, he's gonna be so close to him daddy. Girl, 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.599 Oh my god, he's going to be in love y'all. 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:25.679 Your man is gonna be so in love with this baby. 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.680 I know it's gonna be hard for you to be like. 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:31.839 He was like, look go ahead, bab I mean I 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.600 got this. I've been doing this more than you. You're 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:35.360 gonna turn in to Sway on you. I'm gonna turn 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:36.640 into Coanye on you and everything. 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.760 This is his son, girl, I know I already see it. 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:42.720 He's yeah, yeah, I already know how he's about to 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.560 be how he is now. But he thinks he's about 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.440 to put another one in me, like since past I 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.039 had to tell him. I was like, why don't you 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.080 want me to be like happy? 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:57.440 Shut up? Stop y'all? So are you gonna do the 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:58.320 mommy makeover? 0:04:58.400 --> 0:04:58.599 Shit? 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.200 Are you going to because you're breast beating, so you're 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.640 already gonna go back snatch. Now listen, Taylor got off 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:06.280 boardy okay, or I just want to let y'all know. Okay, 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:08.640 So when she come back snatched, don't be talking about, 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.440 oh did she do ozempical? Did she lay on the 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.120 table to get fucking bbl Because she's scared to have 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:14.599 a dad baby, So it makes you think she gonna 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.360 let somebody put her under to do some like. 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.360 She ain't gonna do it. She is scared ass girl, 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:20.559 so it ain't gonna happen. 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:22.920 But I can't wait to see what the snapback gonna 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.080 get because I'm telling you that breastfeeding is like working out, 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:28.840 even though you're probably gonna work out anyway, but the breastfeeding, 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:32.240 like it helps your stomach go back down like quickly. 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.440 So I'm glad to hear that you are breastfeeding. Hanging 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.120 that pat she gonna have another one, all right? All right, 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.680 now we're gonna jump straight into it. I just had 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:41.719 to get because that tell. 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.560 Is my girl. I still cannot believe that she actually 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.320 is pregnant. Like I under said, I don't believe it. 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:49.000 I just can't believe and I'm like, oh my god, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.400 Shed this was one of the last people everyone that 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.080 I saw it would have a baby because there's no 0:05:56.200 --> 0:06:00.520 incubators that you can put the baby in. Sciences just 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:03.120 finished the price. Science needs to step up for. 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.880 Science needs to step up because there are still they're 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:07.360 still trying to make flying cars. 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:09.760 Yeah, they still try to make men have babyesuit some 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.120 type some type of way. We got these sciences trying 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:13.040 to see what's going. 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:16.600 That would be nice too, What would be nice too 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:17.720 if niggas can have babies. 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:22.280 I'm just saying so, Yeah, I told Hi, I'm gonna 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.520 get the contraction about too for him, And he's like. 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:26.359 You want to be you mean in that sense like 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:27.640 you want him to be able to feel the pain 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:29.919 that you're feeling so that maybe he can like not 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:31.080 put another one in you right. 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:34.359 Away, you know what the feeling. Maybe he will like 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.680 cut back on we can wait two to five years 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:36.880 or what. 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.960 Seeing like our biers I made for this and everything, 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:40.760 I'm not taking that back. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:41.480 I'm insane. 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:46.480 Yeah, for sure, you know everybody's there if we. 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:49.560 Both shared this baby. 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.800 Oh you mean like okay, so with Nama, so you 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:54.839 carry you carry the baby for four and a half months, 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:56.840 and then he carried a yeah, like make it fair. 0:06:57.560 --> 0:07:00.040 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:00.920 then we'll be right back. 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:04.760 I get it though, like women were powerful, like because 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:05.880 there's gonna be some woman. 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:09.640 Like first off, I get ever let her back on 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:12.200 our podcast because I'm just. 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:15.440 Saying, like it's a lie, it's my first one. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:16.040 It's okay. 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.480 No, I'm giving you a break. I trust me, I understand. 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:20.760 But them niggas ain't never have no babies. So here 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.840 we go, because you know what I stand for. You know, 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:24.360 all right, let's get it. 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.240 Give me in trouble. They're gonna be writing in life 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:33.200 first of all, bitch like don't come from us, but 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.280 I understand that's what separates us too, though. 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:39.560 No for sure, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but here we are, Hi, Jess. 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:41.680 I feel so broken and lost. I've been trying to 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.160 find where I fit in in this world. I have 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:46.000 come a long way, and I'm proud of where I 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:47.920 am in life. I just feel like I'm not happy 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.360 with it and I'm not sure why. Sometimes I think 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.640 maybe I'm not happy with myself, so it affects my 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:55.720 stability with my emotions. There will be times where I 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.280 overwork myself to get where I want to be, and 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:00.880 I definitely get it done, but is done, I'm like, 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:01.520 what's next? 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:02.440 This is it? 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.440 If I'm not busy doing something, then I feel unproductive. 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:10.200 Even though I have accomplished so much, I have always 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:13.720 struggled with just not feeling like I'm enough or even 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:14.440 doing enough. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.800 So I kind of stay with me. I guess, Oh, 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:19.720 so it kind of stays with me. I guess. 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:22.360 I'm not sure how to fix this, but I just 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.520 know that I want to be okay and really drowned 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:29.280 in my accomplishments because I came too far. I just 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.520 don't know. How have you ever felt like you weren't 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:35.559 doing enough? Yes, I've felt like that. I feel like 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.360 that a lot of times. I feel like that right now. 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.439 Shit Like it's a lot you know going on, even 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:44.440 with like since I've come back to work, you know, 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:48.320 after being gone for about three months, you know, taking 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.840 care of this new baby. You know, I'm seven months 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:57.560 post part of now, and I've felt you know, a 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.600 little lost, a lot, you know, a lot lost and broken. 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.640 Some people will put that on postpartum depression. I don't 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:07.800 claim that just because you know, I haven't really been 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.559 diagnosed with it, so, you know, clinically, like, I really 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.480 haven't gone to a doctor and shared these thoughts that 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:16.760 I've been having since having my baby or since returning 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:19.320 to work and things like that, so I have not 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.719 been clinically diagnosed with postpartum depression. You know, I just 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.199 kind of stick with it, keep my head up, work, 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:29.440 and you know, my fiance affirms me, and you know, 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:32.280 being around my kids makes me happy. I feel guilty 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.400 when I'm away from my baby girl. I feel like 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:40.200 I'm not doing enough. I always feel like that maybe 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:45.760 my time has passed, like you know, as this nice 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:47.840 big sensation or whatever. 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:48.000 You know what I mean. 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.040 I always feel like there's something that I could be doing, 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.440 and I am doing a lot of shit. You know, 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:55.920 I have a lot going on, and sometimes I feel 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:57.439 like it's not enough hours in a day to get 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:58.160 everything that I have. 0:09:58.160 --> 0:09:59.480 To do done. 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:01.760 But still at the end of the day, yes, I 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:03.920 do feel like, ah, I'm not doing enough. So I 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:07.200 think that's very human because you hear you're having the 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.520 same problem and you're not even well. I don't know, 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.480 I can't say that you don't have any kids or whatever. 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:14.320 I can't say that you. I can't even say that 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:17.160 you just had a baby, you know, but I feel 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:18.640 like you would have told me that. So I'm just 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:20.920 gonna go off of what you told me. You're feeling 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:25.600 this way, and I felt that way. I still feel 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.640 this way at times, and the difference between us, I'm 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.680 just gonna assume is that I just had a baby. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:31.760 So it goes, you know, that goes to show you 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:35.440 that this is a very humanistic thing that you could feel. 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.360 And it's okay to feel that way. 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:37.840 I know you. 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:41.080 Maybe it may get you down and get you in 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.640 a funk, but pay attention to what you have done. 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.240 That's what I've learned. Pay attention to what you have 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:48.600 done in your accomplishments. You feel like you're not enough, 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.559 but you have done so much, you know. Basking your 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.800 ask and your accolades. Girl, basking your accolades. Make sure 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.720 you are giving yourself grace. You know, you're only human. 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.559 It is only twenty four hours in a day, you know. 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:03.920 And while you are probably a jack of all trades, 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.080 a person that wears many hats, you still have to 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:10.000 master each craft one by one. You can't spread yourself 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:13.079 then trying to do everything the best you know. 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.400 To say what she does. She did not say what 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.679 she does. She did not. 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.280 I wish she would have gone a little bit more 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.080 into it what she's done, but she did not say 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:25.200 what she's done. 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:26.719 But that's what I got for you, boo. 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.320 I want you to just give yourself some grace and 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.360 continue to bask in your accolades. Girl, It's okay, sh 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.720 fix that crown on your head, keep your head. 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:37.480 Up and keep working. Keep working. Understand that. 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:39.600 Understand you can't do a lot of things by yourself too, 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:42.120 depending on what you are doing and what your goals 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.720 are in life, and what your career choice is, whatever 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.080 your path is, and the type of work you do, 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:51.520 whatever industry you're in, it's okay to ask for help. 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.200 I didn't get where I am without a team, you know, 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:58.920 and maybe some members of the team wasn't best for 0:11:59.080 --> 0:11:59.680 me at the time. 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.040 But I still didn't do it all by myself. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.959 You know, you need everybody, need somebody to make these 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.080 big things happen, you know what I mean, And I 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:10.880 mean like my different companies that I that I I mean, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.240 my different businesses that I have. 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.839 You know, just hilarious. Is a company is. 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:17.720 A business, you know by itself, But there are different 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:22.760 departments and umbrellas you know, under that big house, you 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.360 know what I mean? There are different rooms. That's why 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.679 I look at my company like a mansion. There are 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.720 different rooms like different houses, different departments and shit, like 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:31.720 different floors that do different things. 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.440 I can't just run it all by myself. 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.839 I oversee everything and I do majority of the work 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:40.000 because I am CEO. But there is a cooo, there 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.160 is a creative director, there is a producer there, you know. 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.960 So there are different puzzles, I mean, different pieces to 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.720 the puzzle that makes it complete, you know what I mean. 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.880 And you can't do it all alone. It sounds like 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:54.680 you may be dealing with something like that as well. 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:58.360 You need you need some of your time freed up 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.200 to do the things that you want to get to. 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.560 You can't do it by yourself, So build a team. 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:05.760 Build a team, because I'm trying to figure out how 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.200 I can give you proper advice when your damn story 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.120 was boneless. Every time there is something that is missing, 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:14.240 I'm gonna call the story boneless. When I feel like 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:18.600 ain't enough, ain't enough, It ain't enough. Okay, I need 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:22.000 for you to let me know what's going on. All right, 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:25.240 So it's okay, don't beat yourself up, don't get down 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:26.840 on yourself, you know what I mean. Give yourself grace, 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.680 Continue to pray. I don't know if you believe in God, 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.679 if you're a god, fair a woman, whoever you believe to, 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:34.720 whoever you believe your creator is, pray, pray, go to them, 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.240 you know what I mean. Start reading, Start meditating, you know, 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.480 find different ways to clear your mind. You need somebody 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.679 to talk to, you know, because if you leave all 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.680 of this bottled up, who are you unleashing on? 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:47.600 What is your outlet? 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:47.880 You know? 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:49.760 It sounds like all you do is work, work, work, work, work, 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:53.560 and you're not even appreciating yourself for the work that 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.640 you've already done and the work that you're doing, you 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.040 know what I mean. So one, you need a team. 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.559 Two you need meditation, You need somebody you can talk 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:02.840 to about this, you know what I mean. 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.240 And you need to give yourself grace. 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:06.040 Yeah, it's okay to take a break, and you're about 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.200 to say, right, yeah, I think that's what she's missing. 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.120 Also is some good me time and some you know 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.600 things like that. All right, So keep a bitch updated, 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:16.920 Hold up, Hold up, I noticed shit getting good. But 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.280 listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:20.320 you love me, you'll listen. 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.480 All right, Here we go, Jess, I love you girl. 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:25.400 I love you tuboo. 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:27.720 Thank you for taking a time to read this. If 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.360 you do so, my situation isn't too bad, but I 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.840 would like your opinion. So, my mom lost her husband 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.280 about four years ago, and I want to get her 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:37.680 back out there. I'm not trying to rush her grief 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:41.080 or anything, because I get it. I miss him as well. 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:43.920 But he wouldn't want her to keep holding herself back 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.480 like this. For example, there's this guy at her job 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.240 and really likes her. He really likes her. He always 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.960 compliments her, saying how beautiful she is and just flirting 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.320 with her. You can tell he has a crush on her, 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.120 and she is just so stand offish to him. He 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.960 is real consistent, though. I'll give him that. That man 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.400 goes hard for her and period. Because my mom is 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.800 that girl. I know that's why you pick up your mama, 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.200 Because my mam and that girl too. I just want 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.840 her to realize it again. Any tips that you could 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:15.000 think of that I could give her all well, because 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.000 your mom is that girl, you know what I mean? 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.240 Just because she's that girl does not mean that she's 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.280 ready to jump back out there. I know four years 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:26.560 may be ah, you know, a long enough time for you, 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:28.040 but just think about it. 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:28.960 Look at Lauren London. 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.760 How long ago have Nipsey passed? You know what I'm saying, 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.520 And we haven't seen her pop out with and also. 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.880 Say that she she's not going to she doesn't want 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.200 to date, like she just like part of her religion 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:41.840 in a sense, okay. 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:44.440 Because I know Nipsey was the love of her fucking life, 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:46.480 so who else can even amount up. 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.280 To that guy that he was in her life? 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:54.040 And kids like yeah, and I and I feel like 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.360 she is one hundred percent okay with that going through 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.560 the rest of her life not being with anyone, not 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:04.280 devoting her heart to another. You know, I know that crazy, 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.120 That seems so sad, but I kind of stand it. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.880 And that's why I'm saying that, like that's trauma because 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:16.120 even with the listener, her mom might get anxiety like 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:18.040 going on a date and make me feel guilty, like 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.960 it's like a whole other step and then four years. 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:24.680 It's not that long to you know what I mean, 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.080 I be that long to her mom. I know it's 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:28.640 not even that long to me. And I'm not even 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.800 in that predicament, you know. She it's not like this 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:34.880 was a divorce that her husband passed away. Her husband died, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.400 you know what I mean. So it's like, damn, you know, 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.600 holding onto memories and then like is she even gonna 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.120 be thinking about him on the day with. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.760 The guy or she can't get a lot of her 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:46.720 mind yet? You know, are you? 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:47.240 Are you? 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:48.400 Is your mom healed? 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:50.400 Yet you don't even know if she's healed from the 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.320 passing of her husband. And her husband, I'm sure was 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.720 her best friend. It's like, this ain't only my husband, 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:58.840 this is my best friend. This is my lifelong partner, 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.880 and his life was cut work. So I remember, it's 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:03.200 a lot. 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:08.879 It's a lot of my My grandfather passed and I 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:10.120 felt like it was maybe like. 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:12.480 A couple of years. 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.200 And again they were they're older, but even myself, I'm 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.040 dripping by my grandfather. So like my mom my aunts 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.400 were saying like, oh, like call my grandma mom, like, oh, mom, 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:23.920 got a hot date, And I was like that's not funny. Yeah, 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:25.960 like yeah, I don't know, Like it's just like you're 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.120 trying to make light of us situation, Like. 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.000 You're definitely not over it. You don't feel like it's 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:31.920 funny or cute. No, like it. 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.720 Is not talking about Yeah like a no damn hot 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.160