1 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids. 7 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: This week we meet Mac, Ma's on vacation with his 8 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: wife and teenage kids. They drove down to Duck on 9 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: the Outer Banks for a week of sun and fun. 10 00:00:54,600 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: Mac is not happy. Mac dislikes vacations, hates sitting around 11 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: on his duff, but he has to toe the line. 12 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: Can't irritate the wife, ruin it for the others. The 13 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 1: days grind on, Mac starts to ruminate, recalls his spring 14 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: break to Key West, back when he was a senior 15 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: in high school. Spring Break. Mac and the family drive 16 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: to Duck for spring break takes close to ten hours 17 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: with all the Easter weekend traffic. Takes an hour just 18 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 1: to get out of Jersey and over the damn Delaware 19 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: Memorial Bridge. Mack just about jumps out of his skin, 20 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: drops more f bombs than a Scorsese gangster flick. His 21 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: wife is not happy, evil eyes abound, and the kids 22 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: in the back of the packed minivan snickering every time 23 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: another bomb drops. And then a week of long, languid 24 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: days on duck in an almost beach front house, Mac 25 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: can ill afford gigantic six bedroom monstrosity. His wife booked 26 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: playroom on the ground floor with ping pong and pool tables, 27 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: five bedrooms, each with its own full bath on the 28 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: first floor, kitchen, dining room, living room, one vast wide 29 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: open space with huge picture windows on the second floor, 30 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: and a third floor master bedroom suite larger than most 31 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: Manhattan apartments. All this for Mack, his wife, their fourteen 32 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: year old daughter, and their two sons, ages sixteen and seventeen, 33 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: Five of them in a house that sleeps thirteen. Just peachy, 34 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: thinks Mac as he opens the massive Tully carry box 35 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: on top of the mini van and starts hauling in 36 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: the prodigious amounts of gear. When he was a kid, 37 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 1: his family never went on vacation, and when they did go, 38 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: thirteen of them, well, actually only eleven, including mom, Dad, Mac, 39 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: his seven siblings and their mother's mother stayed in a 40 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: house that may be slept five or less packed him 41 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: in no big deal. Nobody complained. At least, the weather's pleasant, 42 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: mostly sunny and warm enough for the wife and kids 43 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: to lie on the beach and work on their tans 44 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 1: and stare at their phones. The whole lot of them 45 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: can lie around on the beach for hours, even the boys. 46 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: It drives Mac crazy. He's too antsy to work on 47 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: his tan or lie still for even five minutes, and 48 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: the ocean's way too damn cold for body surfing. So 49 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: what does Mac do? Well? He tries reading a book 50 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: something he finds in the house, summer Land or Summertime 51 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: or something. Mac makes it to page fifty three or 52 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: so when suddenly the main character, an eleven year old kid, 53 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: starts talking to fairies and wears and long dead baseball players. 54 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: Enough of that shit. By the afternoon of the second day, 55 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: Mac is bored to tears. He's walked to the beach, 56 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: gone on a couple bike rides, done some surf casting 57 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: with a rented rod, throwing the lacrosse ball around with 58 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: his boys, played some pool and ping pong, and eaten 59 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: more goddamn pastries. And he usually eats in the year. 60 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: He's ready to get the hell out of Dodge or 61 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: duck head home, get back to work, finish that chapter 62 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: about his protagonists old man that he's been struggling with 63 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: for months. But hey, the family's on vacation. They tell 64 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: Dad to chill while they sit around eating chips and 65 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: scrolling through their goddamn phones, taking iPhone picks of themselves 66 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: and each other out on the big wrap around decks 67 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: with views of the world beyond. One of the kids 68 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: sticks an oh b X sticker on the of the van. 69 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: Mack would like to stick a sticker on the back 70 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: of the van that says vacations suck well. Mac is 71 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 1: a veteran of the family vacation. His wife insists on 72 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: at least two of them a year, usually three. Mac 73 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: knows he has to just sit tight and try not 74 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: to get too gnarly, hold on a happy face, or 75 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: at least a face not too obviously fed up and 76 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: pissed off. Late in the afternoon of the third day, 77 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: Mac twists the top off an ice cold yingling, takes 78 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: a couple deep swigs, and begins to ruminate. He always 79 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,480 Speaker 1: winds up ruminating on vacation. It's all there is to do. 80 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: Sitting up on the widow's walk atop is master bedroom, 81 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: sweet the three hundred and sixty Degreviews of the Atlantic 82 00:05:55,320 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: and Kuratuk Sound to kill for. Mac recollects his spring 83 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: break when he was his oldest son's age, a seventeen 84 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 1: year old high school senior with just a few months 85 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: until graduation commencement. What did he do well? He climbed 86 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: into a Ford station wagon with four or five other 87 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: knuckleheads and drove non stop from Jersey to Fort Lauderdale, 88 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,599 Speaker 1: drinking bud and smoking weed and changing drivers on the fly, 89 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: Climbing into the back of that wagon with the Duffel 90 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: bags to take leaks out the back window, right out 91 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: onto the interstate, with fellow highway travelers looking on aghast. 92 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,359 Speaker 1: Twenty or so guys from his senior class staying in 93 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: three or four rooms in some cheap motel a few 94 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: blocks back from the beach. Nobody's sleeping, much partying night 95 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: and day, playing volleyball on the beach with good looking 96 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: girls from Virginia wearing teeny bikinis, shades and wide brimmed 97 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 1: straw haeses. All you had to do was ask Still 98 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: his literary aspirations already simmering, Mac was done with the 99 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: Fort Lauderdale scene after just a couple days. He asked 100 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: Buckley if he wanted a hitchhike down to Key West. 101 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: Buckley had been going along with Mac's schemes and dreams 102 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 1: for years without a word, and so off they went. 103 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: Made it to Marathon by around nine that night. Mac 104 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: felt lousy, weak, and sunburned. They paid twenty bucks for 105 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: a flea bag room and a no name motel. Cockroaches 106 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: the size of cats raced around the bathroom. When Mac 107 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: flicked on the light, scurried down the shower and sink drains. 108 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: His piss was bright yellow, the color of the sun. 109 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: The moron was totally dehydrated. He barely had a sip 110 00:07:56,640 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: of water all day. His face was redder than a 111 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: ripe beef steak tomato. He puked twice and went to bed. 112 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: One double bed in the room eighty five degrees at least, 113 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: no ac, no fan, windows opened wide, but it made 114 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 1: no difference. Like a goddamn sonnet in that room, they 115 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: both tossed and turned and sweated all night long. The 116 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: broken screens led in the skeeters. They feasted on Mac's 117 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: sunburned skin. No matter. They had places to go and 118 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: shit to do, and old dead guys to see. They 119 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,319 Speaker 1: had youth on their side. Not long after dawn, they 120 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: were back out on Root one, thumbs out, bellies filled 121 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: with eggs and bacon from a local greasy spoon. Mac 122 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: had a gallon jug of water at his side and 123 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:55,199 Speaker 1: a brand new floppy hat on his sunburned head. Some 124 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: queer bell and a Pontiac convertible picked them up and 125 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: hauled them across the street of Florida to Big Pine Key. 126 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,839 Speaker 1: Along the way, the dude asked them if they wanted 127 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: to make a hundred bucks, what do we gotta do 128 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 1: for it? Asked Mac, just play on the beach naked. 129 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: Let me shoot a roll of Codo chrome. Fuck dude seriously. 130 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: Late morning, they reached Key West, found another cheap flea 131 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: bag out by the high school, stowed their gear and 132 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: headed into town. Cozied up to the bar at Sloppy 133 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: Joe's on Duval. No one carted them. They drank some beers, 134 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: then over to Captain Tony's on Green Street, more beers 135 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 1: and a shot of whiskey, each thoroughly soust The two 136 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: young men, both college bound in the fall, stumbled over 137 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: to Whitehead Street and paid a couple bucks to enter 138 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: the old Hemingway house At nine o seven. Mac tripped 139 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: on the front steps, where he sat for quite a while, 140 00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: laughing his ass off and telling Buckley how old had 141 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: penned such classics as for whom the bells tolls, the 142 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: snows of Kilimanjaro and green hills of Africa. Right here, 143 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 1: little man, right here, in this fucking house, right here, 144 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: where we're sitting right now. They toured the house and 145 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: petted the cats, and Mac stared in awe at Hemingway's 146 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 1: black Royal typewriter, still sitting on the desk where hem 147 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: hunted and pecked his way to immortality. When that grew boring, 148 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: they walked up to Mallory Square for the sunset extravaganza, 149 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: then back to Sloppy Joe's or Mac had got in 150 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: a fight with a guy who called Hemingway an average 151 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: writer and a giant son of a bitch, wound up 152 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: with a black eye and a chiptooth. The memories Mac 153 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: polishes off his yingling in size my Hemingway period. Shi 154 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: it something I had to get through Later at dinner 155 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 1: at some absurdly priced seafood place with eighteen dollars old 156 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: fashions and forty two dollars mahi mahi steaks, Mac says 157 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: to his boys, high time to make this a spring 158 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 1: break to remember. So tomorrow, at the crack of dawn, 159 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: I'll want you to up and out of the house 160 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: without your mother, and don't come back without photographic evidence 161 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: on those goddamn phones of yours that you made it 162 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: down to okracoke boarded at least one commercial fishing vessel 163 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: sat at a bar in order to beer, even if 164 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: the bartender tells you to get lost and chat it 165 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: up at least one girl half as good looking as 166 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: your mama. Hey, thanks for listening to this original audio 167 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: presentation of Brainbreak, narrated by the author. If you enjoy 168 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review, 169 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas 170 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author 171 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 1: and to view his extensive canon. The ten Minute Storyteller 172 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: is produced by Andrew Bliglisi and Josh Kalani and is 173 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: part of the Elvis Duran podcast Network in partnership with 174 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: iHeart Productions, So until next time, this is Bill Simpson, 175 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 1: your ten minute storyteller.