1 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids. 7 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: This week we meet Pete. Pete is a podiatrist. Pete 8 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: does fete. Pete works for the New York State Department 9 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: of Corrections. He does the Inmates feat It's a tough job, 10 00:00:55,640 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: but somebody has to do it, the future under Undertaker. 11 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: Every Friday, Pete gets to visit Sing Sing, a New 12 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: York State correctional facility in Ossinging on the Hudson Sing 13 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 1: Sing is a maximum security prison housing a wide array 14 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: of violent characters, including rapists, pedophiles, arsonists, hit men, cannibals, 15 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: and serial murderers. Pete, doctor Peter John Locke, works for 16 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: the New York State Department of Corrections and Community Supervision. 17 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: He is one of a half dozen pediatrists on staff. 18 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,919 Speaker 1: Pete's beat is the Southern Tier and includes a dozen 19 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: prisons in Duchess, Putnam, Orange, Westchester, and Rockland Counties. Most 20 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: of these prisons, such as Otisville Correctional Facility out in 21 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: Orange County and Taconic Correctional Facility in Westchester County, our 22 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: medium security prisons populated with bank robbers, swindlers, dope peddlers, 23 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: and white collar crooks in for cooking the books and 24 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 1: maybe some grand larceny. Not a particularly violent crew. Pete 25 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 1: doesn't much mind visiting these facilities and taking care of 26 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: the inmates foot problems. Most of the men and women 27 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,239 Speaker 1: he sees at Otisville and Taconic, at Woodbourne and Wallkill 28 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,920 Speaker 1: remind him of the patients he encountered Daihi at his 29 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: private practice up in Syracuse. They generally look him in 30 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: the eye, engage him in a bit of normal everyday conversation, 31 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: ask a few questions about their condition, and inevitably thank 32 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: him for taking care of their bunions, planter fasciitis, hammertoes, 33 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: warts and ingrown toenail. You see, Pete used to have 34 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: a thriving private practice. He spent nearly two decades working 35 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: his scrawny butt off six days a week, twelve hours 36 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: a day. When COVID hit on on Dagga County in 37 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: twenty twenty, Pete owned and operated four pedietary clinics in 38 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: and around the city of Syracuse. He had ads on 39 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: TV and billboards lining the highways and byways. He was 40 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: the friendly, smiling star of these ads. Doctor Locke the 41 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: foot dock. You can trust Pete to treat your feet. 42 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: Pete was actually a pretty good pedietrist, but he was 43 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: a lousy businessman. He had spread himself way too thin, 44 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: too much rent, too many employees, too much overhead, too 45 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: many ads. Pete was just hanging on by a thread 46 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: when COVID struck and overnight it decimated his client base. 47 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: Whereas his clinics had been treating a hundred or more 48 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: patients a day in February of twenty twenty, by early March, 49 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: that number had dwindled to a dozen or less. Not 50 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: only were folks paranoid to leave their houses, but Pete 51 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: was only permitted to treat emergency cases. As the governor 52 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: had put the entire state in lockdown. New York and 53 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: really the whole country was one big giant prison. Well, 54 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: Pete went belly up. He had to declare bankruptcy, close 55 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: his clinics, lay off his employees, and ask his undertaker 56 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: father in law for financial assistance. The ancient embalmer, as 57 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: tight with a buck as a Highland clergyman, wrote Pete 58 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: a small check and grumbled to have my only grandchildren 59 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 1: under your roof. I want them warm and I want 60 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: them fed. And then he added, you should forget about 61 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: treating feats on no future at all, in feet, no 62 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: future death. That's the business to be in. Pete's wife 63 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: leaned on him, also, Daddy, you know he's made a fortune, Peter, 64 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 1: he really has, and you know he wants to retire soon. 65 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: McLeod funeral home could be yours. Well. Pete had about 66 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: as much desire to be an undertaker as he had 67 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: to stick a red hot poker in his eye, and 68 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: even less desire than that to work under his father 69 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: in law. So he searched and searched for a pedietary position, 70 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: and he finally found one with the New York State 71 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: Department of Corrections and Community Supervision. Well, Pete's wife and 72 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: kids refused to leave their bi level in Baldwinsville. So 73 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: Pete leaves home at three zero o'clock in the morning 74 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: on Mondays and heads south. He does his rounds and 75 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: then checks into the Day's Inn on the Jericho Turnpike 76 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: in Woodbury. Four nights a week. He spends there at 77 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: the Day's Inn, checking out Friday mornings, before completing his 78 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: Friday rounds and finally driving back to Baldwinsville for the weekend. 79 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: It's a crappy, depressing existence, but Pete, a perky an 80 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: optimistic guy, makes the best of it. He tries to 81 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: keep a stiff upper lip, though it can be tough 82 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 1: in his gloomy, dimly lit days in room. At three 83 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: point thirty in the morning, when he wakes up to 84 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: the sound of guests in the next room fournicating for 85 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: the fourth time since he returned from dinner at the 86 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: Olive Garden sing Sing Friday. That's what Pete calls it, 87 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: his least favorite stop on the prisons circuit. Driving across 88 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: the bare Mountain Bridge and down Route nine south of Peakskill, 89 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: Pete hopes his services will not be needed today. He hopes. 90 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: He parks his Chevrolet, enters the gatehouse, passes through security, 91 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: and finds out not a single inmate has a problem 92 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 1: with his feet Hallelujah. Of course Pete knows this is 93 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: magical and futile thinking. The inmates at Sing Sing, many 94 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: of them incarcerated for life, take every opportunity to meet 95 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: with people on the outside. Pediatrists, dentists, doctors, lawyers, aid workers, friends, 96 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: and even ex wives. They ain't picky about the company 97 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:52,239 Speaker 1: they keep. Now it takes time to get inside. Pete 98 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: must pass through three checkpoints, show his credentials, and open 99 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: his bag. At each point, place his finger on a 100 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: fingerprint pad, have an eye scan, and correctly answer three 101 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: security questions. City were born Baldwinsville nickname of oldest child, Scooter, 102 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:19,559 Speaker 1: favorite pastime playing with my kids. These are some very 103 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: bad dudes behind the bars and walls of Sing Sing, 104 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: dudes who have committed some of society's most horrendous and 105 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: hideous crimes. Terence Muller, for instance. Muller is Pete's first 106 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 1: patient today. The guards, who rarely have much to say, 107 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: gush over Muller. Well, you get a load of this cat, doc. 108 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: He's a fucking nut job extraudinaire. We'll be right there 109 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: with you though, in the room. But still you gotta 110 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: watch your ass. You gotta he's sneaky, he's crazy, and 111 00:08:55,280 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: he's just playing me. Well, what did he do? Ask 112 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: speed killing Spray barricaded himself in an office building with 113 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: a bunch of hostages, people he'd been working with for years. 114 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: He tied him up, tortured him, dismembered him, chopped there. Oh, okay, 115 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: I get the picture. That's good, that's enough. He's definitely 116 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,959 Speaker 1: one of the birds who would have fried an old 117 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: Sparky had this state not abolished the death penalty back 118 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: and ought for old Sparky. Asks Pete. Well, that's what 119 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: we affectionately call the chair, you know, the electric chair 120 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:37,679 Speaker 1: where we cooked the really bad guys like like Muller. Yeah, 121 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: that's it, docake Muller. So, so what's wrong with him 122 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: with his feet? Don't know, feet hurt? I guess, But doc, 123 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: listen one tip, one tip, Doc, So listen up. Okay, 124 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: I'm listening. Don't look at him. Don't look him in 125 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: the eye, dude, do not look him in the eye. 126 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: Make eye contact with him for even an instant and 127 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: he flips out batshit crazy. A few minutes later, the 128 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: guards bring Muller into the examining room. He's a short, 129 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: squat guy built like a brickshit house, as wide as 130 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 1: he is tall, square head, buzz cut, wild haywire eyes, 131 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: and all amped up, twitching and flinching, making weird throat 132 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 1: noises like a dude with turetts. The guards have his 133 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: feet shackled and his wrists cuffed behind his back. Good morning, 134 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: says Pete. I'm doctor Jones. Pete never gives his real name. 135 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: What seems to be the problem today? Now I'm in 136 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: for lifetoc now, no chance at parol, no chance at all. 137 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: The voice is high pitched, almost effeminate. It throws Pete 138 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: for a loop. I I'm sorry to hear that, mister Muller. 139 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: I didn't do it. Now, I didn't do it. I'm innocent. 140 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: I'm innocent. Pete wants to look at the man, but 141 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: he's afraid to make eye contact, afraid to raise the 142 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: convict's ire. Well, I'm just here today to have a 143 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 1: look at your feet, mister Muller. It's my big toe, doc, 144 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: both of them, both, my big toes. They throb night 145 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: and day. They throb, both of them, both, the big toes. Well, 146 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: why don't we have a look. The guards unshackle Muller's 147 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:23,439 Speaker 1: ankles and remove his sneakers and socks. His feet stink 148 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: to high heaven. But years ago Pete learned to disconnect 149 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: himself from his old factory gland. He pulls on surgical 150 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: gloves and has a look at the murderer's big toes. 151 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 1: He says, I'm going to squeeze your toes a bit. 152 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,199 Speaker 1: If that's okay, mister mullerhait. Whatever you gotta do, Doc, 153 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: whatever you gotta do, just just get rid of the pain. Doc, 154 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,319 Speaker 1: get rid of the pain. Pete gives the right toe 155 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: a squeeze. Yeows ah, shouts Muller. Same reaction when Pete 156 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: squeezes the left toe. Both toes are red and swollen. 157 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: Has anyone mentioned gout to you, asks Pete. I don't 158 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 1: know nothing about no gout, says Mueller. Pete sits up, 159 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: pulls off his gloves. Well, it's a condition caused by 160 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: too much uric acid in the blood. Foods high in 161 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,960 Speaker 1: uric acid are certain meats, especially organ meats like liver 162 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: and kidney, certain types of seafood, also sugary soft drinks, 163 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 1: and especially alcohol. These are all things you should avoid 164 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: if you were prone to gout. You know what, Doc, 165 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 1: you know what? What's that? Mister Muller, Everything you say, 166 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: every word, you know what, it sounds like. It sounds 167 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: like bullshit. The remark causes Pete to forget the guard's advice. 168 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 1: His head comes up, and an instant later, he looks 169 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: inmate number six sixty six, Terence Muller, directly in the eye. 170 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 1: Muller lets out a shriek, wrenches forward and headbuts the 171 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 1: pediatrist in the forehead. Pete flies back, smacks the back 172 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: of his head on the floor, and knocks himself out cold. 173 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: And when he comes to a couple of minutes later, 174 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: forehead gushing blood, eyes rolling around in his head, he 175 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: sees the guards beating inmate Muller to a bloody pulp. 176 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: Muller just laughs and laughs and laughs, a wild, raging 177 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: ear piercing well. For Christ's sakes, Doc shouts the guard, 178 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: I told you not to look the crazy bastard in 179 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: the eye. Later, on the way back to Baldwinsville, forehead 180 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: gash closed up with eight stitches, skull pounding, giant eggs 181 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: throbbing on both the front and back of his head, 182 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:51,559 Speaker 1: Pete contemplates the pros and cons of becoming an under Undertaker. 183 00:13:53,320 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: The pros win the day. Hey, thanks for listening to 184 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: this original audio presentation of the future Undertaker narrated by 185 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: the author. If you enjoyed today's story, please take a 186 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, 187 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: and then go to Thomas Williamsimpson dot com for additional 188 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: information about the author and to view his extensive canon. 189 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Plaglsi and 190 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: Josh Colotney and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast 191 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: Network in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this 192 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.