Speaker 1: Your real talk. Nobody loves the holidays more than my wife.
Speaker 1: That is a whole as fact, and I have not
Speaker 1: any shame about that. Dead asks. Hey, I'm Cadine and
Speaker 1: we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny
Speaker 1: videos with our boys and reading each other publicly as
Speaker 1: a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therby
Speaker 1: most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,
Speaker 1: we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 1: dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most
Speaker 1: folks don't want to talk about through the lens of
Speaker 1: a millennium married couple. Dead ass is the term that
Speaker 1: we say every day. So when we say dead ass,
Speaker 1: we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and
Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. We're about to take Phillow talk
Speaker 1: to a whole new level dead that starts right now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell y'all about the great Christmas fiasco all
Speaker 1: right year and no, no, no, This is when I
Speaker 1: really started to realize that you had problems. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: and I should have. There was a lot of red
Speaker 1: flags we were in college, because I saw a lot
Speaker 1: of the same behavior. But this this time really took
Speaker 1: it over the top. Okay. We were still living in
Speaker 1: the apartment, okay, in Brooklyn, and typically the Christmas tree
Speaker 1: goes up for us the day after Thanksgiving. M correct,
Speaker 1: all right. So because CoDeeN was pregnant with kas I
Speaker 1: believe she was like, maybe earlier this year because you know,
Speaker 1: the Christmas holiday and I don't want to be just
Speaker 1: as well and all of this stuff. So I said, cool,
Speaker 1: when do you want to put the Christmas tree up?
Speaker 1: She had the Christmas tree up and out by octobert
Speaker 1: this was before Halloween. Got before Halloween, there was a
Speaker 1: Christmas tree box in my living room. So I said, bed,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna put this tree up now. I said,
Speaker 1: but if the Christmas tree goes up this early, it
Speaker 1: has to go down the day after New Year's Like,
Speaker 1: it's like the January second, the tree has to come down.
Speaker 1: So she was just like angry. I ain angry. She
Speaker 1: agreed everything, and the Christmas tree went up right. The
Speaker 1: whole holiday season went through. She was chilling with the tree,
Speaker 1: taking pictures with the tree. The tree was nice. Right,
Speaker 1: January second comes around and I'm like, yo, okay, it's
Speaker 1: time for this tri Christmas tree to go down. It's
Speaker 1: been up for a full two months. And she's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for to go down. I said, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm taking it down. She's like, no, I don't touch
Speaker 1: my tree. So now she's starting to get a little
Speaker 1: bit hospital like she's like, yo, don't touch my tree.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, fine, now that now, now that you
Speaker 1: don't want to take the Christmas tree down, now you
Speaker 1: gotta take the Christmas tree down on your own, don't
Speaker 1: ask me. So she goes, fine, I'll take it down
Speaker 1: on my own. That was the worst thing I could
Speaker 1: ever seen. Because now we're rolling on Valentine's Day and
Speaker 1: the Christmas tree is still up. But this is the
Speaker 1: crazy part about it being up right, Cadine looks at
Speaker 1: me the day after Valentine's Day because I put hearts
Speaker 1: on that motherfucker because I was tired of looking at it.
Speaker 1: And she goes, can you help me put the Christmas
Speaker 1: tree down? And now with my pettiness outside of the
Speaker 1: holiday season, because I'm normally a very cheerful guy in
Speaker 1: the holiday season, but now it's outside the holiday season,
Speaker 1: Valentine's Days passed and spend all this money for the Holidays,
Speaker 1: had to pay that a mixed bill, then spend more
Speaker 1: money on Valentine's Day and she's gonna say to me,
Speaker 1: I really don't want the Christmas tree to be up
Speaker 1: no more. So I said, cool, take it down. She's like,
Speaker 1: You're not gonna help me. I said no, So she
Speaker 1: goes fine, it's staying up. How did we get here, guys?
Speaker 1: How you made a deal. The deal was if it
Speaker 1: goes up in October, that we could bring it down
Speaker 1: January two. Then you made an additional deal on top
Speaker 1: of that deal that if I didn't want the Christmas
Speaker 1: tree to come down January second, you was gonna take
Speaker 1: it down by yourself. Now it is February and you're
Speaker 1: telling me, if I don't help you take down the
Speaker 1: Christmas tree, the Christmas tree don't come down. Long story short,
Speaker 1: it is past my birthday. My birthday is in April second,
Speaker 1: and I'm still looking at this tree. So I get piste. Right,
Speaker 1: I get piste. I take off the top of the
Speaker 1: Christmas tree and I put it on her pillow. Right.
Speaker 1: She was out. She was out when she came back.
Speaker 1: She came back in the living room and she's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: you started taking out the Christmas tree and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I started. She said, oh, so where's the top? I said,
Speaker 1: go check your room. She went her room. The Christmas
Speaker 1: tree was on her pillow. It was it was an
Speaker 1: our bed, but it was on her pillow. So she
Speaker 1: takes it off her bed and leaves it on the
Speaker 1: floor in our bedroom and go, I guess now we
Speaker 1: got two trees because I ain't picking that ship up neither.
Speaker 1: So now we got half a Christmas tree in the
Speaker 1: living room with no top. We got the top of
Speaker 1: the Christmas tree in our bedroom. And she's so petty
Speaker 1: she started decorating it. Long story short, the holidays be
Speaker 1: bringing out the best in people, and when they've done
Speaker 1: the worst in codeem why are you like this? First
Speaker 1: of all, it's very much giving petty level and petty Pendergrass.
Speaker 1: Because you and I co existing in the house together,
Speaker 1: the petty wars just be a better better a year. Bro.
Speaker 1: I tried to cooperate, comply, what's the what's the other
Speaker 1: world compromise? I tried all of the things they tell
Speaker 1: you in these marriage textbooks to get this tree down,
Speaker 1: and none of it worked. And it's all because you
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna talk about some might as well
Speaker 1: keep it up because Christmas right around the corner. It
Speaker 1: was April. It was April, y'all. Bro you know after yever,
Speaker 1: that would like, oh, there goes the rest of the year,
Speaker 1: the years over mm hmmm. Karaoke, karaoke. Oh. I mean
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like it's beginning to look
Speaker 1: a lot like it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Speaker 1: Everywhere we go. And the minute you hit my front deal,
Speaker 1: you don't see the tree, tree, the tree. Now we
Speaker 1: got a bigger house. This woman puts up six Christmas trees, guys,
Speaker 1: six Christmas trees. Six and loki. I made my sister
Speaker 1: and brother in law stand their trips so that way
Speaker 1: you can help me. Shout out to Brendan. Brendan, I
Speaker 1: guess this is your You're hazing into the family every
Speaker 1: year since I had to bear the cross of wearing
Speaker 1: down Mimi so that you could come in here and
Speaker 1: just prancing here and just take her second daughter with
Speaker 1: no issues, even though I had to go through the fire.
Speaker 1: The least you could do is help me put up
Speaker 1: these Christmas trees. Now, yes, the sacrificial lamb, Yes, all right, well,
Speaker 1: you messed up my segway because I was talking about
Speaker 1: what was it, oh, compromise. We can't compromise on these bills.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna go take a break, pay the bills,
Speaker 1: and then come back so I can talk about Christmas
Speaker 1: some more, because why I'm obsessed. All right, all right,
Speaker 1: we're back. I mean, guys, I have to tell you
Speaker 1: that whole Christmas tree standoff that we had in the apartment.
Speaker 1: I think after a while, the level of petty that
Speaker 1: we both were reaching just became so comical that we
Speaker 1: were no longer really annoyed at each other. It was
Speaker 1: just like it was funny. It was funny. And I
Speaker 1: think what was even more funny where you know, we
Speaker 1: had a handful of people who used to come visit
Speaker 1: us in our apartment in Brooklyn, but it literally was
Speaker 1: a handful, which is crazy because it's like a revolving
Speaker 1: door here in Georgia now. But the handful of people
Speaker 1: who would come to the apartment would just be like baffled.
Speaker 1: It was such confusion when they walked in the house
Speaker 1: and that was two thirds of the way up, so
Speaker 1: the whole top pointy part was gone, and then there
Speaker 1: was just like that middle piece and then the very
Speaker 1: bottom of it, like the skirt. Everything was still in
Speaker 1: tact I took the ornaments off. I put the red
Speaker 1: bows on there and a couple of hearts for Valentine's Day. Um,
Speaker 1: I did a birthday video around the tree. It was
Speaker 1: my birth my birthday. It's April. I'm taking pictures of
Speaker 1: videos around the tree like it became a part of
Speaker 1: the family. It was a house plant at that point.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a Christmas But I mean, what I have
Speaker 1: seen now are a lot of people doing trees as
Speaker 1: of safe for example October, but making the tree a
Speaker 1: Halloween tree, and then they change it out and they
Speaker 1: make it like a full Thanksgiving tree, and then they
Speaker 1: change it out again. Those people just need things to do.
Speaker 1: They just need things to do. Nobody want to see
Speaker 1: Halloween tree. What you're gonna put cobwebs on the tree?
Speaker 1: And spiders? Absolutely, they have those, Like for sure you
Speaker 1: go to any of these little stories like Michaels, are
Speaker 1: America know how to make money? I'm not gonna know
Speaker 1: how to make money much money. And let me guess
Speaker 1: you brought all the decorations for the Halloween tree actually didn't,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I am not obsessed about the tree
Speaker 1: just being up because it's a tree, because then it
Speaker 1: becomes an obsession with a plant or a fake tree,
Speaker 1: and it's just about decorating that tree. I particularly just
Speaker 1: like the holiday season, So I think it started really
Speaker 1: early on for me. That's something that just became a
Speaker 1: tradition within my own household. Right, So the preparation and
Speaker 1: the tradition that went into Christmas for us was always
Speaker 1: a big deal. During the course of the year, you
Speaker 1: don't get to see your loved ones as often, why
Speaker 1: because everyone is pounding the pavement going to work, they
Speaker 1: have their activities they're going to and fro. So for me,
Speaker 1: it starts off with Thanksgiving because that's the first holiday
Speaker 1: where I'm like, great, a family will get together. And
Speaker 1: me being such a big family person and loving to
Speaker 1: be around my family so much, I always look forward
Speaker 1: to that part. The food, the being in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: the learning the recipes from my grandmother when she was
Speaker 1: younger and cooking at the time, and it was just
Speaker 1: the passing down of these family moments for me. So
Speaker 1: being able to then see my aunt's, my uncle's, my
Speaker 1: cousin's all rolling into one space. That just was my
Speaker 1: happiest moments, like most of my happiest child moments for
Speaker 1: when I was engulfed in family, the presence of family.
Speaker 1: So there was Thanksgiving and then the next major holiday,
Speaker 1: my birthday, December major holiday is her birthday. She compared
Speaker 1: her birthday to Christmas and Thanksgiving, and she did that seamlessly,
Speaker 1: like didn't even blink about a e. Then you go,
Speaker 1: Sagittarius is going, Sagittarius. That's the thing. In December, baby
Speaker 1: is gone. We had to wait all year for y'all
Speaker 1: to get yourself out the way to week we can
Speaker 1: get it on and popping. So then it spirals into
Speaker 1: the next major holiday, my birthday, and then into the
Speaker 1: countdowns to Christmas. So it's literally like my birthday happens.
Speaker 1: I want to celebrate all sagittarious season and all December.
Speaker 1: But then also to there this this holliday is of
Speaker 1: Christmas countdown. Remember one year my mom doing this twelve
Speaker 1: years of Christmas thing, And shout out chas, she's the
Speaker 1: reason why you spoil. Absolutely absolutely shout out to me,
Speaker 1: because she was always just finding new and fun ways
Speaker 1: for us to just enjoy the holiday season and really
Speaker 1: make it a moment. And your father wasn't with the ship.
Speaker 1: My father was just like, what you do this crap?
Speaker 1: They just want you to spend your money. Typical West Indian.
Speaker 1: Absolutely so, your mother and your mother pretty much overcompensated
Speaker 1: to make sure that you guys enjoyed christ We enjoyed
Speaker 1: because if it was up to your father, y'all would
Speaker 1: literally just have a plant in house. I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: have a Christmas, wouldn't have a tree. You wouldn't have gifts.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't know you would have gifts. Your father would
Speaker 1: peel off a couple hundred islands off his little knight
Speaker 1: and he would give it to you. That's your father
Speaker 1: couldn't do that too. Yeah, but say gifts, I mean
Speaker 1: like there's not gonna be gift wrapping, no thought. He's
Speaker 1: gonna give you gift. Give you some cash, you know,
Speaker 1: pass a check by some liquor that's for your next party,
Speaker 1: Like you know what, it's Christmas time you have a
Speaker 1: party on this somewhere. I'll get the liquor, of course,
Speaker 1: sponsor the liquor sponsor, I'll donate the liquor. I'm like
Speaker 1: all right, cool, so um, and then the twelve Days
Speaker 1: of Christmas is the countdown to Christmas. Um, But the
Speaker 1: biggest thing is family for me, that's ultimately what it
Speaker 1: boils down to. Like the material side of things, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fun and cool to get gifts. So in your family,
Speaker 1: there's no religious aspect, like like in my family, we
Speaker 1: went to church at six am. Yeah, that was very different. Um,
Speaker 1: what we got together. Which holidays can pose a lot
Speaker 1: of tension and issues for new couples or married couples
Speaker 1: because it's like, Okay, my family has their traditions that
Speaker 1: I'm stuck on, and mine has mine that I'm stuck on.
Speaker 1: So how do we then kind of integrate these things,
Speaker 1: especially if you have to family talked about that I
Speaker 1: really want to get together. Yeah, oh yeah exactly. One
Speaker 1: of our biggest arguments early on in our relationship happened
Speaker 1: over a holiday, and it happened with trying to see
Speaker 1: family on both sides. Yeah exactly, But we lucked out
Speaker 1: because it's funny, I don't know. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I ever told you that, but it's when I say it,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like, that's so many of her to say,
Speaker 1: but literally when we had not engaged, you were about
Speaker 1: to get married. She was just like, I hope they
Speaker 1: already know that Christmas is my holidays. And I kind
Speaker 1: of was just like all right, like we're gonna we're
Speaker 1: gonna see across that break when we get there. But
Speaker 1: she was just like, just let me down, just let
Speaker 1: me know that Christmas is my holiday. Um. So I
Speaker 1: looked out because your family celebrated Christmas even so what
Speaker 1: was Christmas like for you in your house? Um? It
Speaker 1: was it was extremely similar. Like, um, my grandparents that
Speaker 1: we went to go visit in Tennessee during the summertime,
Speaker 1: we didn't see them after Tennessee, so when we came
Speaker 1: back at the end of August, beginning of September on
Speaker 1: Nana and Papa, we didn't see them until the holidays
Speaker 1: came around. So in my house, um, the minute Halloween
Speaker 1: was done and it's hard to become November. I used
Speaker 1: to watch my mom start her Christmas shopping. Like my
Speaker 1: mom loves to get things done early. She's a hoarder.
Speaker 1: So I remember days where we get picked up from
Speaker 1: school and then we'd be going to J. C. Penny
Speaker 1: so she can pick up stuff, and she would go
Speaker 1: to j C. Pennies to pick up gifts for people
Speaker 1: who she didn't know was coming by. So just in
Speaker 1: case that's actually a Christmas job of first, just in
Speaker 1: case somebody comes about, my mother got a belt or
Speaker 1: a wallet, or some slippers or something to wrap up,
Speaker 1: so that you know, we're all opening stuff for Christmas.
Speaker 1: Even somebody invites a friend, at least they have something.
Speaker 1: My mother started that like as soon as um as
Speaker 1: soon as Halloween was done and November started. But for
Speaker 1: me it was it was mostly about family. But I
Speaker 1: grew up in like strict Baptist church. We went to
Speaker 1: church every Sunday. We was in church four days a week,
Speaker 1: and the holidays were always rooted in the traditions of
Speaker 1: the church, so we always had to know that Jesus
Speaker 1: was the reason for the season, and we always had
Speaker 1: to given honor to God when it came time to Christmas.
Speaker 1: So as a child, if I'm being honest, I had
Speaker 1: a love hate relationship with that because I WI the
Speaker 1: reason why we celebrated Christmas Eve is because my brother
Speaker 1: and I Tory was a lot younger than She's ten
Speaker 1: years younger than me, but we wanted to open our gifts.
Speaker 1: And ain't nothing worse than gonna waking up to open
Speaker 1: your gifts and have to stop because you got to
Speaker 1: go to six o'clock service, six am service on Christmas
Speaker 1: Day life and that was that was a ritual. And
Speaker 1: my my family because my father was a deacon or
Speaker 1: he yeah he wasn't deaconly retired from being a deacon,
Speaker 1: and my aunt Debbie was acquired director, my Auntie saying
Speaker 1: in the choir. My uncle Charles was the boy Scout
Speaker 1: leader in the same church. So our whole family was
Speaker 1: super involved in the church. And yes, we loved to
Speaker 1: go to church and see people because when you go
Speaker 1: to church, that's when you also exchange gifts with people
Speaker 1: at church. But it was just two early yo, like
Speaker 1: it's six o'clock. We we didn't go to bed the
Speaker 1: night of Christmas because we used to wait until and
Speaker 1: I can say this now because my parents ain't doing
Speaker 1: a whole Santa Claus thing, but we used to wait
Speaker 1: up like we would go, oh, oh, retied, we're gonna
Speaker 1: go to sleep, right, So we were going the room
Speaker 1: and at the door and actually right and we would
Speaker 1: sit there and wait for my parents to go up
Speaker 1: in the attic and in the basement and pull all
Speaker 1: of the quote unquote saying stuff that they was hiding right,
Speaker 1: and we would wait until they literally touched the bed,
Speaker 1: like my parents would turn off the lights and we
Speaker 1: would hear them like scurry, like they would jump into bed.
Speaker 1: How we get some sleep. The minute they jump into bed,
Speaker 1: me and Brian would wake up. Boom, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: make us get up at six o'clock, the petty and
Speaker 1: me started at that moment because I'm gonna make sure
Speaker 1: y'all don't get no sleep, yeah, young, So we would wait.
Speaker 1: We would wait up and in a minute my parents
Speaker 1: touched the bed, we would run, run to the freaking tree,
Speaker 1: open up the gifts, and then we would spend the
Speaker 1: next couple of hours playing with the gifts. Because if
Speaker 1: you have six o'clock service, you gotta be there at
Speaker 1: five thirty, which means you gotta leave your house at
Speaker 1: five o'clock. With me, you gotta start getting ready at
Speaker 1: four thirty, so it'd be two o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: We're playing with these toys all you know, super Soaker,
Speaker 1: playing with the bike that you got, or the little
Speaker 1: legos and hesh trucks. My father got us test trucks
Speaker 1: every single year, and we'll be playing with it until
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, it's Tom, you know, tell me
Speaker 1: to get ready for church, and you know, but then
Speaker 1: we will finally get the church and see our cousins
Speaker 1: and our friends and our family. And then my grandparents
Speaker 1: who I spoke about, they used to fly in about
Speaker 1: four days before Christmas. And I remember like school time
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, right it's starting to get a little cold.
Speaker 1: You might be some flurries, you know, if you're old enough,
Speaker 1: like me and my brother were taking a bus or
Speaker 1: the train to school, and then we come home. And
Speaker 1: when my grandparents used to drive in, so come into
Speaker 1: the house. And at the time they had a Burgundy van.
Speaker 1: The Burgundy van was the boys van because they got
Speaker 1: that van because whenever we used to drive from Tennessee
Speaker 1: to New York, all of us were packed up in
Speaker 1: the van. So you're coming home from school and you
Speaker 1: turn the corner and then you see the Burgundy van
Speaker 1: sitting in the driveway and at that point and you knows, there,
Speaker 1: look at that, look at you getting excited, I know.
Speaker 1: But then that's when the pettiness started because my grandmother
Speaker 1: and my grandfather used to stay with one of their kids.
Speaker 1: So every year they were roted, they would either stay
Speaker 1: with my aunt Debbie, or stay with my Auntie or
Speaker 1: stay with uh, stay with my parents. So this year
Speaker 1: on particularly staying with my parents. Right, and I walk
Speaker 1: in the house and everything is switched around, like my
Speaker 1: grandmother was that mother in law who came in the house.
Speaker 1: Why I got to catch a van and I put
Speaker 1: up a tree over there. Why are you doing this?
Speaker 1: So when we walk in and all the stuff is
Speaker 1: already turned around, and I like, man, my mother is
Speaker 1: gonna have a connection when she walked in the house.
Speaker 1: That's part of the reason why I remember when we
Speaker 1: talked about generational traumas and we were like, how my
Speaker 1: mother is so hands off when it comes to our home,
Speaker 1: and she tries to be very uh aware of the
Speaker 1: fact that it's not her home. That's because that's she
Speaker 1: lived the opposite. But you walk in the house and
Speaker 1: they would be ham cooking. She made home. She would
Speaker 1: make homemade biscuits, they would make lst and every day
Speaker 1: when you walk in whatever house they were in. Because
Speaker 1: when they got when my parents got tired of them.
Speaker 1: My grandmother could tell, and my grandfather would just pack
Speaker 1: my grandmother up and they would go to the next
Speaker 1: child house after every day, Like every day it's like
Speaker 1: it was like Papa, Papa, we're going on Debbi's house
Speaker 1: when you walk into this food. So the holidays to me,
Speaker 1: you know, even though I'm not a religious person now,
Speaker 1: the foundation of us celebrating the holidays was religion, you know,
Speaker 1: understanding that this was the day quote unquote price was
Speaker 1: supposedly born. Depending on which holiday you celebrate and what
Speaker 1: your belief system was, but ultimately it was all about
Speaker 1: family and getting together and sharing and being kind to
Speaker 1: people and seeing those that you haven't sold all year.
Speaker 1: So the holidays for me, that's what it reminds me of.
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny how as an adult you look back
Speaker 1: on this and you're just like man in our moment
Speaker 1: as kids, it was just like the best She had
Speaker 1: your cousins nearby, you were opening your tour ways, you
Speaker 1: got to play, you got to hang around everybody's you know, dancing,
Speaker 1: having a good time. It was literally like a party
Speaker 1: at my house. When I look back on it now,
Speaker 1: I was like, Dan, there's a lot of drama going
Speaker 1: around when everybody got together and it's like you have
Speaker 1: that one or that one uncle that like doesn't really
Speaker 1: want to come, or they do come, but then it's
Speaker 1: like weird and then it ends and like somebody having
Speaker 1: some sort of like meeting or discussion. And then I
Speaker 1: was always that kid that was very much aware of
Speaker 1: what was going on around still, and I definitely was
Speaker 1: just like something is off right now, Like they definitely
Speaker 1: got some beef going on. But I feel like in
Speaker 1: all in all, I feel like the holiday spirit was
Speaker 1: something that we were able to still you know, feel
Speaker 1: and still spread and spread that holiday chair. Um. I
Speaker 1: didn't have too many family members who were out of town,
Speaker 1: but the majority of the people, even just being within
Speaker 1: Brooklyn or within New York, you know, we were so
Speaker 1: spread out for the year that this was like one
Speaker 1: of the biggest things that I definitely looked forward to
Speaker 1: my mom. I mean, it's all making the lists of
Speaker 1: things that we like for Christmas, um, And they played
Speaker 1: up the whole standard thing for a while. And know,
Speaker 1: some people are on the fence about you know, and
Speaker 1: I gonna say that this big fat white man my
Speaker 1: kids presence, I'm not on the fence about that. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about this. I'm not on defense about that. It's
Speaker 1: just it's just for the fun. Let's let's talk about this. Right.
Speaker 1: I am for the woke population. I am in agreement
Speaker 1: right that our children at a certain age should be aware.
Speaker 1: But there is an innocence with children that we have
Speaker 1: to protect. And there is a point in their lives
Speaker 1: where you can help them engage in fairy tales while
Speaker 1: they're not even old enough to be cognizant of the
Speaker 1: things that are going on. And we can't strip them
Speaker 1: of those things because we have issues, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, and to be honest, it is giving
Speaker 1: Scrooge Santa don't even have a color. Santa is not
Speaker 1: real sand saying is not really what you want. We
Speaker 1: got some hoodies up in here with saying is black,
Speaker 1: Sanda black in the Ellis household, right and everybody. And
Speaker 1: I used to have this argument with people all the time.
Speaker 1: Like I legitimately had an argument with my friend right,
Speaker 1: and he just just like, how much tell my son
Speaker 1: that a white man comes down to Chimney and gives
Speaker 1: him gifts when I work hard for it. I said, bro,
Speaker 1: first of all, you live in an apartment. You worried
Speaker 1: about the wrong things. You don't have a chimney, all right,
Speaker 1: you need to be more creative and figure out how
Speaker 1: you're gonna explain your son that Santa went down the
Speaker 1: fire escape and snuck through the window, all right, to
Speaker 1: give you the gifts, Like relax, bro, and your son
Speaker 1: is three. Your son does not care where the gifts are.
Speaker 1: You don't even care about the gifts. At three, you
Speaker 1: know what your son is doing, tearing the wrapping paper
Speaker 1: off and playing with the boxes. So we as as humans,
Speaker 1: sometimes we have to stop trying to micro manage every
Speaker 1: little thing and make every little thing about the holidays
Speaker 1: a political statement. We are all in agreement that we
Speaker 1: know sand is not real. Okay, we know that Christmas
Speaker 1: is a pagan holiday, right. Jesus technically wasn't even born
Speaker 1: on December. If you if you read the Bible and
Speaker 1: your historian, you know that these are historical facts that
Speaker 1: he just was not born on the Sumber. But that
Speaker 1: doesn't change the fact that kids like to have fun facts.
Speaker 1: This is the same way I feel about like a Halloween,
Speaker 1: for example, is just like you know, I have some
Speaker 1: family members that are like really strict adventus, and they're
Speaker 1: just like, who celebrating the Devil's holiday and the Devil's party?
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, guys is stressed up. It's just fun.
Speaker 1: Like nobody's over here, y'all doing worse doing uh obia
Speaker 1: and whatever voodoo practices y'all do over there and whatever,
Speaker 1: but place y'all. But we're just doing it for the
Speaker 1: fun that kids want to have. They want to face paint,
Speaker 1: they want to get candy, like it's just something else
Speaker 1: to do. I think the traditions that surround a lot
Speaker 1: of these holidays are bigger than sometimes you know where
Speaker 1: it's them from. I think it's sometimes just creating a
Speaker 1: little fairytale environment for your kids to make it fun.
Speaker 1: The thing is, people make it seem as if you
Speaker 1: can't be educated and have fun, right, Like Role was
Speaker 1: five six, Cairo six cases four. The Colds, I mean,
Speaker 1: Carl's cas is gonna be five. The Cold is turning
Speaker 1: one this year. Jackson knows the sin is not real, right.
Speaker 1: We had an open conversation when he was understanding the
Speaker 1: kids school ruin it for him. At first, they did
Speaker 1: ruin it for him. They told him he wasn't real
Speaker 1: but I mean at the at the age we were
Speaker 1: going to have that conversation anyway, he was in third grade,
Speaker 1: he was a But it's like, have those conversations when
Speaker 1: they need to be had. You don't have to sit
Speaker 1: your two year old down and explain to him like
Speaker 1: this is the American Express bill. You know, daddy really
Speaker 1: bought that Transformer set. It wasn't sent. You know, you
Speaker 1: gotta do that to a year Let the kid enjoy
Speaker 1: the easy parts of life, because adulting is a motherfucker's
Speaker 1: sure as hell is. Like I try to prolong that
Speaker 1: as long as we fin as long as we can.
Speaker 1: Like carolawt another tooth and the tooth Fairy you know,
Speaker 1: supposed to have come, and both of us were just like,
Speaker 1: oh ship the ferry totally forgot, Like we had to
Speaker 1: make up a whole thing now where the tooth Fairy
Speaker 1: weekends off now because of first of all, and she
Speaker 1: was taking leaves and whatnot. Kyra was the first stop
Speaker 1: after she had the weekend off because she was tired
Speaker 1: because she's first. Let's let's talk about how we're bad parents, okay,
Speaker 1: because Kira lost his first tooth, we lost the tooth.
Speaker 1: We were in Alabama. We were in Alabama filming and
Speaker 1: couldn't find the tooth. So Cairo was so focused on
Speaker 1: getting this this money. So because he's also just really
Speaker 1: big on getting money, he has a whole wide So
Speaker 1: we get back home and we forget and he wakes
Speaker 1: up and he's just like Daddy, the tooth Fairy never
Speaker 1: never got my money. And I was like, no, what happened,
Speaker 1: was the tooth fairy because you lost it technically in Alabama.
Speaker 1: The tooth Fairry went to Alabama first, and when she
Speaker 1: got to Alabama, she had to find the tooth first,
Speaker 1: because remember we lost the tooth, and he's looking at
Speaker 1: me lying, uh huh. So I said she went to
Speaker 1: Alabama first, had to get the tooth. Once she found it, too,
Speaker 1: she had to fly to Atlanta. That took a couple
Speaker 1: of days. She got small wings tooth fairies, not a
Speaker 1: big person, so it took a couple of days to
Speaker 1: get there. She had to make a couple of stops
Speaker 1: because other kids lose their teeth. You gotta learn to
Speaker 1: be patient, son, Okay, turn this into a whole life lesson.
Speaker 1: The whole time, he's like uh huh h. Then at
Speaker 1: the end, he goes, so when am I going to
Speaker 1: get my money? How much will it be? So I
Speaker 1: was like, listen, check check back in a couple of
Speaker 1: days and we'll see. You know, it could take her
Speaker 1: a while. So that night Dean was like, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: you better make sure you leave this money under Cairo's tooth.
Speaker 1: So we ended up leaving the money under this tooth,
Speaker 1: which I think he got on this pillow. You're not
Speaker 1: honest to on this pillow, which I believe he got
Speaker 1: twenty dollars because all I had at the time. But
Speaker 1: that's a lot for a tooth. What do you do?
Speaker 1: What I did for the last tooth. What I did
Speaker 1: was I hand no cash on me. So I was like, damn.
Speaker 1: I was like, this's a tooth faide like zell Or,
Speaker 1: like Venmo or whatever nowadays. I just went into his wallet.
Speaker 1: It took out one of Oh you will stay terrible,
Speaker 1: You terrible. Aren't listening because the kids are definitely in
Speaker 1: the house now, but definitely did walk by. It's not
Speaker 1: so on his feet, and I heard made me go
Speaker 1: casts come back here, because you just would have completely
Speaker 1: ruined everything. Because one kid gonna pay attention, it's going
Speaker 1: to exactly. You'll come over deadpan one day and be like,
Speaker 1: you know, there's no tooth fairy, right, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: your teeth in the garbage. It's all lies and it's
Speaker 1: the patriarch. It's all lies. But yeah, so yeah, I agree, Like,
Speaker 1: let's give the kids a little bit of hope. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, because one of the questions here
Speaker 1: we had today was like, what, well, what do you
Speaker 1: hope to give your children through the holiday celebrations. I
Speaker 1: want to I want to teach my children about humanity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I want them to understand, you know, when
Speaker 1: they say it's the season of giving, it really is.
Speaker 1: Like two years ago was when Gadine and I first started,
Speaker 1: uh not exchanging if said Christmas and decided that, I mean,
Speaker 1: we exchanged gifts last year because Kadin had a baby,
Speaker 1: and I was like, she just needs a gift because
Speaker 1: she gave us the greatest gift and giving us Dakota.
Speaker 1: But the year before that, we decided to gift families
Speaker 1: who were in need instead of us buying gifts for
Speaker 1: each other. And um, I spoke to Jackson about it
Speaker 1: and he was just like why, you know, why, why
Speaker 1: do you do that. And I was like, well, when
Speaker 1: you live in abundance, you have a fiduciary responsibility to
Speaker 1: pay it forward. You know, God only provides you with
Speaker 1: more than you can handle or more than you need,
Speaker 1: so that you can give to other people. And if
Speaker 1: you look at Jackson. Now, Jackson has his own bank account,
Speaker 1: he collects his money, but all of his friend's birthday
Speaker 1: come around, he gets them gifts. One of his friends
Speaker 1: on the football team broke his leg and he was like,
Speaker 1: Daddy cannot buy him something. And I'm like, you as
Speaker 1: your money, you can do what you want. But what
Speaker 1: he learned over time is that you don't go into
Speaker 1: these holidays looking for what you can get. You go
Speaker 1: into the holidays thinking about what you can give and
Speaker 1: how you can be of service to the people who needed. No.
Speaker 1: For sure, that's definitely top on my list. And you know,
Speaker 1: as the kids grow out, want them to think of
Speaker 1: the fond memories that they've had as a child, you know,
Speaker 1: not just in the holiday fl you know, like, not
Speaker 1: every day is going to be the best day, but
Speaker 1: particularly around these holiday times. I think that I want
Speaker 1: to make sure that when they look back on it,
Speaker 1: they just think about Wow, these little things that mom
Speaker 1: and dad did, or these little things like it extends
Speaker 1: far beyond us. You know we already have like for example,
Speaker 1: your parents are sending down things for them because they'll
Speaker 1: be over Christmas. Or my sister they're like, oh, Auntie,
Speaker 1: they look forward to her coming because she's cookies with
Speaker 1: them and she's gonna be brownies. And you know it's
Speaker 1: it's these together moments that I know that they will
Speaker 1: look back on and they'll just love and you know
Speaker 1: I have those moments with their children in the future.
Speaker 1: What this question also leads me to what's you know,
Speaker 1: what's the best Christmas gift You've ever always says what's
Speaker 1: the best Christmas gift you have a given? I will
Speaker 1: have to say for me, last year was the greatest
Speaker 1: Christmas that critics Gistmas gift I've ever given. Right, this
Speaker 1: is our first Christmas we spent in our home that
Speaker 1: we were dot asses off to get right. Both your
Speaker 1: immediate family and my immediate family and extended family were
Speaker 1: able to stay in the same home, right, um, people
Speaker 1: asked us. You know, I saw some comments on social media,
Speaker 1: is like what you need a twelve square foot home for? Well?
Speaker 1: When you have an immediate family that comes up upwards
Speaker 1: of seventy people. People need a place to stay when
Speaker 1: they come here, and we were able to house our
Speaker 1: entire family and not feel cramped. All of the kids
Speaker 1: were downstairs in the boy cave. I was with the
Speaker 1: guys in the man cave. You and the ladies were
Speaker 1: up here in the family room. Um. All of the
Speaker 1: cousins and extended cousins were upstairs upstairs, so it was
Speaker 1: like there was enough space for everyone. And we all
Speaker 1: got together on these during these special moments to do things.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, for me, that was the greatest
Speaker 1: gift I could ever give my family was a space
Speaker 1: to be openly themselves and celebrate each other and have fun.
Speaker 1: Not to mention upgraded Cadine's ring something crazy she got favorite. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's the one that was my greatest. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I see you, I see you. Um. But yeah, like
Speaker 1: having having the space to be able to have for everybody,
Speaker 1: which was also weird, like people, why are you looking
Speaker 1: at the square footage of my house? That's what people do.
Speaker 1: That's what people do. But it is it weird or
Speaker 1: is it like aspirational? Because I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: guess it could be a little bit of both. But
Speaker 1: if you're wrapping it in sarcasm, then it's not. No.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't say it's weird because you and
Speaker 1: I have done it. We've looked at our favorite celebrities
Speaker 1: and looked at their house and you hit me like,
Speaker 1: damn baby, look at this, And for me it was
Speaker 1: inspiration to what I want to give. So I think
Speaker 1: some people, you know, some people look it up to see,
Speaker 1: like Dan, how big is that house? And some people
Speaker 1: are just not happy with their place in life, so
Speaker 1: they try to tear down what they don't understand. Um,
Speaker 1: So either way, it doesn't bother me. But I understand
Speaker 1: how people can ask certain questions and get to where
Speaker 1: they get to. But um, I don't let it stop
Speaker 1: me now. I feel you know, it just it just
Speaker 1: came to mind because I'm like, yeah, it did. We
Speaker 1: did have that when we moved here. People like why
Speaker 1: do you like why? I don't know, It's like, why
Speaker 1: are you even like, it's just cleard that you're just
Speaker 1: looking at where we live. But any who, UM, back
Speaker 1: to the topic at hand, I think for me, there's
Speaker 1: been and not to put like people on blast and
Speaker 1: their business on blast. But there are people who we've
Speaker 1: been able to help UM in our immediate circles, whether
Speaker 1: it's family or like close friends. And I want to
Speaker 1: say that Christmas time for us is of course wrapped
Speaker 1: in the time of year and package as the holiday,
Speaker 1: but we just have been able to help so many
Speaker 1: people around us UM and not expecting anything in return,
Speaker 1: UM just seeing that somebody needs help, or they're in
Speaker 1: a dire situation, or there's a way to alleviate a
Speaker 1: little bit of stress off of someone's life. And sometimes
Speaker 1: it's around the holidays where people need that picked me
Speaker 1: up because why they may not have family nearby, they
Speaker 1: may have fallen on hard time, they may be trying
Speaker 1: to make ends meet. It's the end of the year,
Speaker 1: like you know, there's so many different things that people
Speaker 1: are going through. So just the best gifts that I've
Speaker 1: given are those gifts that are just of help to
Speaker 1: other people who I care about genuinely, I want to
Speaker 1: make sure that they are okay. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: necessarily only be money, but sometimes it helps to have
Speaker 1: those scenarios where we can just be of assistance to somebody.
Speaker 1: UM but this Christmas, you know, I think every Christmas
Speaker 1: for us is always going to be wrapped in who
Speaker 1: can come by and be under the same roof as us, right,
Speaker 1: because we have four kids. Like when people ask how
Speaker 1: come you don't travel, it's very difficult to travel with
Speaker 1: four kids, especially during cold and flu season and when
Speaker 1: you have an infant, Like no one wants to get
Speaker 1: on a plane with an infant for a number of
Speaker 1: hours and then try to find a place to to
Speaker 1: huddle all the kids in sleep because when you come in,
Speaker 1: when we're coming to someone's house as six of us, right,
Speaker 1: I mean also too when I think of Christmas, I
Speaker 1: don't think of like going somewhere tropical, Like I know
Speaker 1: that Christmas exists in tropical places, but for me, I
Speaker 1: want to be somewhere where I feel like it's cold
Speaker 1: outside and make potentially snow. I'm going to be making
Speaker 1: hot chocolates, sit in by the fireplace under a blanket
Speaker 1: like I'm under it now. That would be great. If
Speaker 1: it's snow here in Atlanta and we could get like
Speaker 1: a foot of snow on Christmas Day and it melt
Speaker 1: by like the that would be great. Like when you
Speaker 1: wake up and it just be powdery snow outside and
Speaker 1: the kids can go and run outside in the snow,
Speaker 1: and that would just be perfect. I can think of,
Speaker 1: probably on my one hand, the number of Christmas is
Speaker 1: that I've actually woken up to like snow, like fresh,
Speaker 1: nice pillow snow. You ain't something crazy. The first Christmas
Speaker 1: that we spent together in two it was wild, snowy, Yes,
Speaker 1: it was. We even had these traditions early on in college,
Speaker 1: Like that's when you should have known I was crazy.
Speaker 1: I knew because in my dorm room, well it was
Speaker 1: my dorm room. But then yeah, I ended up on
Speaker 1: campus in an apartment when I was a resident director
Speaker 1: of Halfstra and I went out a tree. We did
Speaker 1: this together. Actually went to Target. I got a tree
Speaker 1: and it wasn't a little baby tree. I had a cute,
Speaker 1: little like six foot tree, and we decorated it together.
Speaker 1: We did it in Michigan when I came out to Michigan.
Speaker 1: It was important for me too. When you were in
Speaker 1: the league, for example, like you played during the holiday
Speaker 1: season and you were out there pretty much alone. So
Speaker 1: I wanted to bring that piece of home to you
Speaker 1: out there. So by doing that, I'm like I'm going
Speaker 1: out there, I'm getting a tree, I'm doing all the things,
Speaker 1: you know, to make sure that you just feel like
Speaker 1: that comfort that you feel at home and that comfort
Speaker 1: that you feel around the holiday season, I feel like
Speaker 1: that's something you can take anywhere with you. So even
Speaker 1: if we were to travel with the kids one year,
Speaker 1: which I do aspire to do that, Like I said,
Speaker 1: there's Thanksgiving for me, then the next major holiday my birthday,
Speaker 1: then we have Christmas, and then there's also New Year's
Speaker 1: even to New Year's Day. And I also used to
Speaker 1: like as a kid, knowing that a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: after my birthday, like two weeks after my birthday, we
Speaker 1: had time off and then you just out of school
Speaker 1: during that time and you can just feel free to
Speaker 1: just be home and you know, so I love UM
Speaker 1: having that to look forward to UM, particularly with you
Speaker 1: and the kids, and making sure that you know when
Speaker 1: they look back. I just want my children to have
Speaker 1: a rich childhood and have memories. Just really think about, man,
Speaker 1: you remember, when you know we we we'd be watching
Speaker 1: flight watching for like non Epopa scoops flight to land
Speaker 1: and for Auntie Chatrist to land, and they all pop
Speaker 1: up here and then it's literally, you know, we have
Speaker 1: different areas of the house where everyone's wrapping gifts and
Speaker 1: all the packages are coming in, and you know they're
Speaker 1: sorting under different trees, and you know, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just a warm and funny time. And being the big
Speaker 1: family woman that I am, I think that's ultimately the
Speaker 1: root of the holiday season for me. Well, what do
Speaker 1: you want for Christmas this year? Well, there's a couple
Speaker 1: of things on my list, you know, um little things
Speaker 1: I've had my eyes on, a little trinkets and whatnots,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of things here and there. What
Speaker 1: I would really love is for us to be able
Speaker 1: to get settled into this house. I feel like we
Speaker 1: just we've been almost two years. We moved in here
Speaker 1: almost two years February two years, and we have not
Speaker 1: been able to do anything in this house in terms
Speaker 1: of just like interior decorating, design. Well, there's finished. There's
Speaker 1: two reasons why. Part of it has We've both been
Speaker 1: working like crazy, so we haven't been able to set
Speaker 1: on time. We only hired and Intilia designer to help
Speaker 1: us design, but also everything's been on backup and and
Speaker 1: all the supply trucks have been messed up because of COVID,
Speaker 1: Like we moved spies and materials and stuff like forever.
Speaker 1: So we've been living in this house as a shell
Speaker 1: for almost two years. Yeah, and I just kind of
Speaker 1: feel like, damn, I kind of want to make this
Speaker 1: place our own. So I was looking forward to for
Speaker 1: the holiday seasons being able to do a couple of
Speaker 1: things in the house. Um, but for me, Christmas is
Speaker 1: never really I really don't think about myself during Christmas.
Speaker 1: I really think about how I can make the holiday
Speaker 1: season for someone else. So I'm looking forward to, you know,
Speaker 1: shopping stuff for the kids, getting their list. Like I said,
Speaker 1: my mom used to always request to listen still to
Speaker 1: this day, I mean listen, I'm pushing forty years old,
Speaker 1: and my mom still it's like, hey, guys, pushing forty. Yeah.
Speaker 1: She sing out that mass text to me, my brother
Speaker 1: and my sister and be like, hey, y'all send your
Speaker 1: Christmas list over. I'm like, y'all still want a Christmas
Speaker 1: list for me? You know, my brother and my sister,
Speaker 1: we all shot for each other because it's just nice
Speaker 1: to just feel like somebody's think about you and enough
Speaker 1: to get you a little something. So it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how big or how small. I'm always appreciative of whatever
Speaker 1: I get because, like I said, ultimately, it's not about
Speaker 1: the gifts, It's just about the togetherness. What you want
Speaker 1: this year for Christmas? A big booty hoe. I was
Speaker 1: abound to say, you know, since I got that vasectomy,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, it'd be nice. And Mrs
Speaker 1: Claus got dressed up, puts put on some heels. It
Speaker 1: became a ho ho ho, that would be really really
Speaker 1: nice for christ really really nice. Considering the fact that
Speaker 1: Ms Claus got blind out the last two years of Christmas.
Speaker 1: It's time to pay the piper, literally, pay the piper. Okay,
Speaker 1: but now Dad say this all the time and we
Speaker 1: legitimately mean it. Right. You see me every weekend, every
Speaker 1: weekend since football season started. What do I enjoy to do?
Speaker 1: I go to Publix. I get me some hot dog,
Speaker 1: some sausages, paws, some hamburgers. I come back, I get
Speaker 1: some beers. I grow for all the kids. I like
Speaker 1: all the kids to be where I can see them.
Speaker 1: And I watched the games and my friends come over,
Speaker 1: um when the podcast crew comes over. I loved everybody's
Speaker 1: in the house. I like to cook out in mc grill,
Speaker 1: but have everybody just chilling the man cave and we
Speaker 1: just talk about life and don't be in a rush.
Speaker 1: You know, I am a homebody. I am. I do
Speaker 1: accepted it that, like you know, I did accept that.
Speaker 1: That's part of the reason why once again he would say,
Speaker 1: why you buy a big gass house. It's because I
Speaker 1: like to entertain at home. It's a safe space. I
Speaker 1: can be myself. The people who are here can be
Speaker 1: themselves if we decide we want to drink, take an
Speaker 1: edible smoke when we we don't got to drive nowhere leave.
Speaker 1: There's rooms for everybody to stay. We can listen to
Speaker 1: music as loud as we want. The kids to be
Speaker 1: downstairs in the boy cave and joining their life. We
Speaker 1: can have adult time upstairs with the adults. It can
Speaker 1: be separate. You know. It's not like back in the
Speaker 1: day where when we grew up. You know, my my
Speaker 1: parents weren't afforded the opportunity to live like we live.
Speaker 1: So when my parents had adult top and it was
Speaker 1: like y'all stay in the room, like they kept us
Speaker 1: in the room with the door closed, you felt excluded
Speaker 1: because there's certain things that you don't want your children
Speaker 1: to see. But when you have a home is big
Speaker 1: and you can do things in your own space, and
Speaker 1: your kids can still run on a different part of
Speaker 1: the house and then run upstairs and be like hey, Dad,
Speaker 1: and I can just step out for me and talk.
Speaker 1: That's all I want for Christmas. I want all my
Speaker 1: family to be around me. I want to watch my
Speaker 1: boys open gifts. I want my wife to open her
Speaker 1: gifts and be surprised and cry and feel like she's
Speaker 1: just a princess because everything she ever dreamed is right
Speaker 1: in front of her. That's all I really want because
Speaker 1: the things that I can really now, I want to
Speaker 1: buy it for myself throughout the year, and I really
Speaker 1: don't want for much, but I get it, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I get it. So having all of
Speaker 1: y'all around, and it sounds cliche, but it's the truth.
Speaker 1: Having everybody right here means the most. And of course,
Speaker 1: having my wife take care of me. You've You've done that.
Speaker 1: You've done a great job of making sure I feel special,
Speaker 1: even if it's not buying some big, expensive gifts because
Speaker 1: I don't really need that. But you find ways to
Speaker 1: make sure that I feel special. One year, you did
Speaker 1: the Twelve Days of Christmas for me, and it wasn't
Speaker 1: big gifts. It was just small little things that reminded
Speaker 1: me of our relationship. And that's that's all I really
Speaker 1: just want. I just want to sit in peace and
Speaker 1: not be on anyone else's time or anyone else's schedule.
Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about content or helping produce
Speaker 1: a podcast, or trying to sell ads, or thinking about
Speaker 1: lines to remember for the team, or I want to
Speaker 1: sit my black ass down and do nothing. That's all
Speaker 1: I want to do for Christmas. I'm gonna hold you
Speaker 1: too that because if I was talking to some hot
Speaker 1: about all the ship he don't want to do until
Speaker 1: time come to do it, and he's like, I got
Speaker 1: to go do this for all this stuff, I understand,
Speaker 1: I get it, But I'm here to create the balance
Speaker 1: as well, to make sure that you're good too. Make
Speaker 1: sure that you're good too. All right, some fun facts
Speaker 1: about Christmas before we head into this break. The tradition
Speaker 1: of Christmas trees goes all the way to the ancient
Speaker 1: Egyptian and Romans who decorated using evergreens during the winter
Speaker 1: solstice and to signify the spring return. Unless you're like
Speaker 1: me and spring you have the evergreen tree. But that
Speaker 1: goes to show you. That goes to show you too
Speaker 1: that the Christmas tree literally has nothing to do with
Speaker 1: Jesus's birth. No, definitely doesn't, right exactly, And just so
Speaker 1: you know, to like, because people have lots to say
Speaker 1: about my trees, that's like, oh, she's wasting all this
Speaker 1: money buying all these trees. I didn't buy six trees
Speaker 1: at one time. We kind of eventually over the years
Speaker 1: we ain't. We ain't raised no funds to get the trees.
Speaker 1: This is money we work for. And yeah, I'd just stay.
Speaker 1: But I was just like this, like I don't go
Speaker 1: every year and like splurge on all Christmas and new
Speaker 1: trees and stuffing. Is my wife is frugal again. I'm
Speaker 1: a smart shopper now, okay, and I'm gonna wait for
Speaker 1: ship to go on sale. Tip number one for Christmas shopping. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at all the cameras shop after Christmas for
Speaker 1: your stuff for next year. See me, I'm not big
Speaker 1: on trends. I don't have to have the hottest latest
Speaker 1: Christmas tree item for this year, because it's probably gonna
Speaker 1: cost you right get the tree when it goes on sale.
Speaker 1: So if I want seven trees for next year, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't gonna do. I'm gonna buy me an extra tree
Speaker 1: after Christmas. I'm gonna get me the ornaments after Christmas,
Speaker 1: because everything goes down to off. Everything must go. You're
Speaker 1: gonna catch me up when the stores. That's when I
Speaker 1: get my shop and done. So you heard it here,
Speaker 1: all right. The idea of Santa Claus came from St. Nicholas.
Speaker 1: He was a bishop in the fourth century who gave
Speaker 1: away his large inheritance to pour and rescued women from servitude.
Speaker 1: And that's what the whole idea of giving comes from.
Speaker 1: It's important. I'm sure the chimney and all that stuff
Speaker 1: was probably extra additive. Of course, before Coca Cola decided
Speaker 1: to use his image for advertising, Santa's looks tended more
Speaker 1: towards spooky than jolly. Then in nine thirty one, the
Speaker 1: beverage company hired an illustrated name Hayden sun Bloom to
Speaker 1: depict the jolly old Elf for the magazine ads. So
Speaker 1: this is clearly a ploy to get people to spend
Speaker 1: money to be happy. We understand, we understand that Christmas
Speaker 1: is a consumerst holiday. We get that. We're not trying
Speaker 1: to avoid that or not trying to say that that
Speaker 1: don't exist. But it's clear that don't mean you can't
Speaker 1: have fun. That's a fact, and you don't have to
Speaker 1: participate either. Like nobody's holding the gun to your head
Speaker 1: to celebrate Christmas here, but stop trying to stop other
Speaker 1: people from having weve like Scrooge. You know, it was
Speaker 1: a funny quick story. I have really quick about us
Speaker 1: Christmas time. This is when we moved to Calabasas, right.
Speaker 1: This is pre COVID. We moved August. This is December. Right.
Speaker 1: I'm in the house with Mimi. Maybe it's just like, hey, okay,
Speaker 1: I can really use a new toothbrush. And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: no problem, and she's just like, yeah, are you're going
Speaker 1: to the store? I was like, I wasn't planning on it.
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, I thought you said you have
Speaker 1: to go to CVS. I need a tooth person shower caps.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, all right, well when I go, I'll
Speaker 1: get it. She's like, she's not going today, and you
Speaker 1: want to go. Do you want to go get the
Speaker 1: toothbrush and the shower caps? Now, I'll go get it.
Speaker 1: So I went to a local CVS out in Calabasas
Speaker 1: and I walked in and there's this this huge black
Speaker 1: Santa in the doorway and he had a price tag
Speaker 1: on it. He was like nine or something like that.
Speaker 1: And I thought to myself, I was like, damn, I've
Speaker 1: been in Calabasas about web four months now and I
Speaker 1: ain't seen that one black person. And the one black
Speaker 1: person I see is Santa all right in CVS in
Speaker 1: plastic form, but he's at least six ft tall, right,
Speaker 1: So I said to myself, as I'm gonna find me
Speaker 1: her goddamn shower caps and her toothbrush, I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: I might just buy this big black ass Santet and
Speaker 1: put them right in front of our house. You know.
Speaker 1: Just fishing singing goes right. So as I'm walking through
Speaker 1: the aisle, i hear someone singing Christmas carols and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: what a sing So as the person sitting and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: did the voice sound like a brother? Because you can
Speaker 1: tell the soulful send the voice, I'm like it sounds
Speaker 1: like a brother singing, and I was like, and the
Speaker 1: voice sound familiar too, That's weird. So now I'm in
Speaker 1: like the vitamin isles something like that. Probably get in
Speaker 1: vitamin see or some chanation, some ship. And then I
Speaker 1: come around the corner and it's Jamie Fox. Jamie Fox
Speaker 1: and the Coles Coal. I'l getting some coal medicine for
Speaker 1: one of his kids. I believe you, I think, he said.
Speaker 1: But I was like, I looked at him and I
Speaker 1: was like, I know I knew that voice. So he
Speaker 1: laughed and he was just like, yeah, you do you
Speaker 1: think you do? And like yeah. So on the way
Speaker 1: to the register, now I'm about to tell them that
Speaker 1: I want to, you know, get the black Santa over there,
Speaker 1: and then what does Jamie do? He comes right online
Speaker 1: behind me holding the big gas black sans. So I
Speaker 1: was like, you're really about to take the one stance
Speaker 1: I was about to buy, and he's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: you was gonna buy Santa. He's like, because I've seen
Speaker 1: this big black stand up in here, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, I never seen a big black sand over here.
Speaker 1: That's that's the same thing. So I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: you could have saying that it's all right, it wasn't
Speaker 1: meant to be. And he was like, well, you know
Speaker 1: what's meant to be. You should come to my holiday party.
Speaker 1: And then his manager he gave giving giving me his
Speaker 1: info and we change information and Deval and I went
Speaker 1: to the Christmas party that year, and I think that
Speaker 1: was one of the last normal, one of the very
Speaker 1: last normal outings that we had pre COVID. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: right after that was when COVID started. Yeah, But I
Speaker 1: remember getting to be getting to his house and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, they go to CVS sanswer right there in
Speaker 1: the doorway. He wasn't playing no games. He actually did
Speaker 1: get the answer there. And it wasn't no small party, No,
Speaker 1: it was that Jamie Foxx Christmas party be lit. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of people, There was hundreds of people.
Speaker 1: It was a great time too, for sure. Hanging stockings
Speaker 1: is a tradition that started within with an accident. St.
Speaker 1: Nicholas dropped some gold coins down a poor man's chimney
Speaker 1: to help him feed his daughters. The man had freshly
Speaker 1: watched stockings hanging in his fireplace to dry, and the
Speaker 1: coins ended up inside. Interesting. My mom was big on
Speaker 1: stockings too. What we would do is we put little
Speaker 1: gifts in there, and we used to have to wait
Speaker 1: until after Christmas dinner to open all of our gifts
Speaker 1: amongst our family. But in the morning, my mom wa
Speaker 1: let us open our stocking gifts, so at least we
Speaker 1: had something to open when we first got there because
Speaker 1: we knew sands they arrived, so that was cute. And
Speaker 1: the Christmas wreath is the first um originated as the
Speaker 1: symbol of Christ. The holly represents the crown of thorn
Speaker 1: Jesus war at his crucifixion, and the red berry stand
Speaker 1: for the blood he shed. And when you see wreath
Speaker 1: this holiday season, you remember the reason for the season
Speaker 1: and like you say, that's how your family celebrated it.
Speaker 1: So I hope y'all in the Christmas very baby, because
Speaker 1: we are right around the corner. I'm super excited. Um
Speaker 1: My trees are going up. They're gonna get fluffed. I'm
Speaker 1: almost at the point where I feel like I just
Speaker 1: want to get somebody to come in here and do
Speaker 1: it for me. At least put the trees up and
Speaker 1: then we'll decorate them. But I'm definitely gonna swing by. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, at home or one of the places to
Speaker 1: see what new you know, Christmas themes and collars and stuff.
Speaker 1: It's fun to kind of makes a match every year.
Speaker 1: All Right, I'm gonna take a quick break and get
Speaker 1: into listening letters. We'll be right back. All right, we're back.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for the holidays. Yeah, alright, so listen letters.
Speaker 1: We're going to dive in. And since I rambled and
Speaker 1: talked too much about the holidays, you are very concise
Speaker 1: with your thoughts. But I just know how excited you
Speaker 1: get about that. There's always something to say. I have
Speaker 1: a thousand stories about Christmas, but do you know the
Speaker 1: one way we just went with what came to my mind? Um,
Speaker 1: So I want to dive into this first one. Here.
Speaker 1: I'll go ahead and read it. It says I don't
Speaker 1: want nothing. I love when people saying with the I
Speaker 1: O N I don't want nothing. But it is important.
Speaker 1: I have always thought it's very important to contact people,
Speaker 1: not only when you want something. Okay, So for my
Speaker 1: listener letter, I would like to give you both your
Speaker 1: flowers all this every show, you guys give great advice
Speaker 1: to people who write to you, which is great. But
Speaker 1: I simply want to say thank you. Me and my
Speaker 1: husband have been together for seven years is and I
Speaker 1: tear up at how much he has changed over time
Speaker 1: by acting on advice given by Devo. Wow, Gadeine, thank
Speaker 1: you for giving me the confidence to say them kids girl.
Speaker 1: When I said that, I'm just kidding. But you've given
Speaker 1: me the confidence to say it's okay to ask for
Speaker 1: help or say if something is too much for me
Speaker 1: to handle regarding my kid without feeling guilty as you
Speaker 1: should sist Kadeine. You have also given me the push
Speaker 1: to get back in the gym when I'm ready, and
Speaker 1: so far i've lost it. You better do it. That
Speaker 1: is amazing. You know what. I needed this messagere So
Speaker 1: this was a gift for me today because I've been
Speaker 1: a little bit of a rut lately, just because we've
Speaker 1: been so busy, and Devot said we're gonna work out
Speaker 1: today together and I said, yeah, we're gonna get back
Speaker 1: on the wagon. So I needed to hear that. Since
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Congratulations. That's amazing, Devout. If God
Speaker 1: didn't exist for me, I would say you single single
Speaker 1: handedly fixed my husband because of a lot of the
Speaker 1: advice you've given. I'm more confident on planning to have
Speaker 1: another child with my husband. At first, I was very
Speaker 1: nervous because the first time around, I felt like he
Speaker 1: wasn't as considerate of me and how I felt. But
Speaker 1: over the past five years of watching how you cater
Speaker 1: to Codein somehow has inspired him to treat me like royalty.
Speaker 1: With that being said, Codeine, I hope that you get
Speaker 1: all you all you want. Wait. With all that being said, Conneine,
Speaker 1: I hope you get all you want and need out
Speaker 1: of life that you desire devout. I hope you become
Speaker 1: the biggest movie star in the world. Congratulations on Kingdom
Speaker 1: be four. Damn. I wish I would have known you
Speaker 1: guys were going to post a show just for listener letters,
Speaker 1: because instead of bringing my problems to you guys, I
Speaker 1: would like for people to hear more about how the
Speaker 1: work you guys do really affects people's lives. I'm over
Speaker 1: here life fixing my eyelash, right. I can't wait until
Speaker 1: I'm able to come to one of y'all's live shows
Speaker 1: one day. But Phil, till then I will be listening.
Speaker 1: That was really sweet. Triviled. You were very sneaky for
Speaker 1: putting that because we're talking about giving gifts and all
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff, and little do we know we're being
Speaker 1: such a gift to other people. And trust me, y'all
Speaker 1: have been such a great gift to us. Every single
Speaker 1: person who listens to a podcast episode, every single person
Speaker 1: who engages with us on social media, UM that comes
Speaker 1: to a live show, um that clicks on them links.
Speaker 1: When I'm trying to, you know, tell you all about
Speaker 1: my latest deal that I'm promoting, Like it's just so
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed to really think about. And you know, we
Speaker 1: do a lot of stuff just from sitting here in
Speaker 1: front of a camera or from our phones or from
Speaker 1: our laptops, and it's sometimes you don't even realize how
Speaker 1: many people are the magnitude with how you're affecting people
Speaker 1: on a day to day basis, because we feel like
Speaker 1: we're just out here walking in our purpose and you know,
Speaker 1: this is our ministry, this is what we've been I
Speaker 1: guess designed to do. So thank you for that notes
Speaker 1: as I wish you had your name, UM to give
Speaker 1: you a shout out. Thank you that that was that
Speaker 1: was dope, That was dope, that was open unexpected, and um,
Speaker 1: I'm almost speechless and I always got something to say.
Speaker 1: I am speech. I appreciate all you guys, so thank
Speaker 1: you so much that I definitely got me a little
Speaker 1: choked up. It's the holidays. It's always about giving. But
Speaker 1: when someone chooses to give you something that you didn't
Speaker 1: even know that you needed, words of encouragement, that means
Speaker 1: a lot. It does. It means a lot because the
Speaker 1: days I wish you would have put her name so
Speaker 1: that we could say thank you to her and her husband.
Speaker 1: And I will say this, though I did not fix
Speaker 1: your husband, your husband made choices to fix himself. Like you.
Speaker 1: Got to give that man credit. He didn't have to
Speaker 1: listen to a thing I said or decided he wanted
Speaker 1: to do anything. He actually put the work in, so
Speaker 1: he deserves all the credit that none of that goes
Speaker 1: to me. So kudos to him, and kudos to you
Speaker 1: for introducing him to us. So thank you, guys, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. All right, I think we should end
Speaker 1: it on that man. I just holidays in doing it high,
Speaker 1: you know, yes, it's a really good high. It's the
Speaker 1: end of the year. Um. I want to love with
Speaker 1: my wife and I love with my kids. So that's
Speaker 1: what we're looking forward to doing as soon as these
Speaker 1: kids let out from school. Well, like I said, it
Speaker 1: starts around things. Well Colda's birthday this year for us,
Speaker 1: so that now now we start the holiday season with
Speaker 1: all our big holidays, starting with the Dacoda's birthday, hiros
Speaker 1: No sorry Kazi, Thanksgiving, and then spiraling into my stuff.
Speaker 1: So thank you all so much. We love you. If
Speaker 1: you want to be featured as a listener letter, if
Speaker 1: you want to send us more flowers like we love this,
Speaker 1: be sure to email us at dead Advice at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. That's right, there's d E A d A
Speaker 1: S S A, d V I C E at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. All right, moment of truth time. We're talking holidays.
Speaker 1: They're talking about Dean's Big Christmas that happens every year.
Speaker 1: And UM, I guess my moment of truth or my
Speaker 1: takeaway is just you know, let's not forget the ultimate
Speaker 1: reason around the holiday. Um. And for me that's family,
Speaker 1: that's family togetherness giving. Um. Regardless of you know what
Speaker 1: you believe in or where you come from, what your
Speaker 1: background is, what your religious beliefs and ideologies are, if
Speaker 1: you just ultimately think about how you can be of
Speaker 1: help to someone else, particularly around this time of year,
Speaker 1: and we'll all be winning. I just feel so good
Speaker 1: around the holidays. My moment of truth is this, each
Speaker 1: day we work to build a legacy, not to be
Speaker 1: defined by our greatness, but by the masses. We inspire
Speaker 1: to be greater than ourselves. The greatest Yes, my model
Speaker 1: has been my models and sophomore year of college. Um,
Speaker 1: the greatest gift you can give someone is to inspire them,
Speaker 1: inspire them to be better, uh, inspire them to want more,
Speaker 1: inspire them to learn more, and inspire them to pay
Speaker 1: it forward. So that's my My moment of truth is
Speaker 1: for everyone to feel inspired and inspire someone to pay
Speaker 1: forward to inspire someone else. That's great. And hopefully I'll
Speaker 1: be inspired to take down my tree at a decent
Speaker 1: time this year. But I won't make any promises or
Speaker 1: you won't need to be inspired. I'm going to hire
Speaker 1: people to take it down if it is not down,
Speaker 1: like I'm not. I'm not doing that no more? All
Speaker 1: right with that because I don't like to take them
Speaker 1: just down, know how? Al Right? Be sure to follow
Speaker 1: us on social media dead as the podcast and you
Speaker 1: can follow Kadine I Am to see more tree progress
Speaker 1: and I am devout and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review and subscribe. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah,
Speaker 1: Happy Kwanza, and all that good stuff to all your
Speaker 1: beautiful people out here in a dead as podcast family.
Speaker 1: We'll see y'all yeah next year. Dead as dead Ass
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network and
Speaker 1: is produced by the Norapinia and Triple Follow the podcast
Speaker 1: on social media at dead as the Podcast and never
Speaker 1: miss a Thing