Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.
Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Kathy Schwartz, and I'm joined by
Speaker 2: my fellow Golden Bachshoulder alum and good friend Joan Vassas. Hi.
Speaker 1: Joanes, Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad to be here with you.
Speaker 2: Okay. So we are here at the iHeart Awards in
Speaker 2: Los Angeles, and you've not been before? Is that right?
Speaker 1: I've never been. I've watched them on TV and I'm
Speaker 1: always like starstruck about the number of performers that actually
Speaker 1: come to this thing. I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 2: It's going to be great. I've been to it once
Speaker 2: before and there are so many famous people. It's just
Speaker 2: like eye candy the whole night.
Speaker 1: I swear I'm going to meet somebody famous tonight.
Speaker 2: I heard I heard Taylor Goodness coming.
Speaker 1: I know Taylor. Oh well, I don't think I'm mean
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift. I'm sure her entourage is going to
Speaker 1: keep me far away from her, but I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: to photo them. I'm her on the red carpet if
Speaker 1: I'm anywhere in here. Okay.
Speaker 2: Well, before we get there tonight, we are going to
Speaker 2: have a very interesting little chit chat this morning. Are
Speaker 2: you ready?
Speaker 1: I saw the subject and I don't think I am ready. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well here I am three to two one. I just
Speaker 1: got you ready. So recently, Woody Goldberg opened up about
Speaker 1: her about her sex life, being single at seventy after
Speaker 1: three divorces, and here's what she said. Quote, I am single.
Speaker 1: I do hit and runs when I need it, but
Speaker 1: I'm not married to anybody, and I don't have responsibilities unquote.
Speaker 1: She also said, in the last twenty five years, I
Speaker 1: recognize that not everybody's cut out to be in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Some people are just cut out to be one night stance.
Speaker 1: So okay, how would you describe sex when you're over
Speaker 1: sixty five? I know you're not over sixty five, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to cut it down. How do you describe
Speaker 1: having sex over sixty two?
Speaker 2: Joan?
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you went right in for the kills,
Speaker 1: didn't you know? It? Wine around here.
Speaker 2: So much time? John, you know, it's just you and I.
Speaker 2: We're in my living room. We're talking about sex. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So, first of all, like I got to think about
Speaker 1: woop be Goldberg, and I think she's admitting to a
Speaker 1: lot that I would have hard time admitting to like
Speaker 1: on like so publicly, and it sounds like she is
Speaker 1: perfectly happy having a like a like. She calls it
Speaker 1: a fuck boy, a person that she just has sex with.
Speaker 1: At this stage, I don't feel comfortable with that, and
Speaker 1: I'm not judging anybody. If you feel comfortable doing that, like,
Speaker 1: more power to you. I wish I was maybe more
Speaker 1: free about sex, but I just am not, and I
Speaker 1: think maybe it has to do with our generation. Like,
Speaker 1: even talking about it is uncomfortable for me, which is
Speaker 1: here I am, and I'm podcast talking about it, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to try. I really am, because I think
Speaker 1: this is an important conversation. I honestly do.
Speaker 2: I think it's an important conversation. I think that our generation,
Speaker 2: you and I both grew up on the East Coast.
Speaker 2: I think there's some of that puritanical heritage that are
Speaker 2: I'm afraid and grandparents, you know, sent down to us,
Speaker 2: and thank you very much for that. But I do
Speaker 2: think that tom times are changing. We are both widows.
Speaker 2: You're obviously in a relationship with talk. I'm not in
Speaker 2: a relationship. But I think that when I got married,
Speaker 2: I was my husband was my first sexual partner and
Speaker 2: then I married him, and then I didn't have sex
Speaker 2: with anyone else until after he died. So for me,
Speaker 2: what will be saying like that? That takes a lot
Speaker 2: of a lot of courage first to admit it. But
Speaker 2: I think there are more women at all ages who
Speaker 2: are still interested in having sex. You know, we all
Speaker 2: we always hear about men and just men need a
Speaker 2: place to stick at. We hear that all the time.
Speaker 2: Men never lose their sex drive. I think women often,
Speaker 2: I haven't lost my sex drive. You haven't lost yours.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not, you know what, I think it's weird, or
Speaker 1: I don't think it's weird, But I think it's a
Speaker 1: fact that a lot of people lose their sex drive
Speaker 1: to the person they're married too because they become bored.
Speaker 1: I think they I think they become I'm not sure
Speaker 1: if it's boredom. I think they become too involved in
Speaker 1: their lives and it just becomes less of a priority.
Speaker 1: And then once that kind of happens, then it's hard
Speaker 1: to get it back.
Speaker 2: So I think what you're saying, if you don't use it.
Speaker 1: You lose it. I kind of feel like that if
Speaker 1: people made their sex life at priority in their life,
Speaker 1: I think it stays. But if they don't, but I
Speaker 1: have to say, like in my marriage, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to admit this, and God, I hope my kids don't
Speaker 1: listen to this. No one's going to listen to this.
Speaker 2: Right, We're good.
Speaker 1: If I got undressed in front of my husband, like
Speaker 1: if I were in the bedroom and I'm putting on
Speaker 1: like whatever I'm going to wear to sleep, if I
Speaker 1: got undressed with him, he was going to want to
Speaker 1: have sex with me, which was flattering that he still
Speaker 1: like loved having sex with me. So if I wasn't
Speaker 1: in the mood, I'd have to go in the closet
Speaker 1: and get dressed because otherwise, you know, otherwise it was
Speaker 1: going to happen. So or so.
Speaker 2: So I will say for me when my husband died,
Speaker 2: the thought of having sex. I know you've said before
Speaker 2: on your season that you felt like you were cheating
Speaker 2: on John. Initially, I did not feel like I was
Speaker 2: cheating on my husband. When I the first time I
Speaker 2: had sex after he died, it was it was at
Speaker 2: least a few years after he died. But I will
Speaker 2: tell you I was worried, is he going to think
Speaker 2: I'm too thin? Is he going to think I'm too fat,
Speaker 2: are my boobs hanging? You know, all those things that
Speaker 2: as your body changes. We're not twenty years old anymore,
Speaker 2: and I never really stopped to think do men think that.
Speaker 2: Do they worry about themselves?
Speaker 1: Do they see their belly or do they see something
Speaker 1: that's not.
Speaker 2: As Yeah, I mean I know that some men, they
Speaker 2: don't like to talk about that little blue pill. They
Speaker 2: like to think that they're virile whatever. But I will
Speaker 2: be honest, I almost feel somethings like a freak. And
Speaker 2: now my kids are going to listen and die, so
Speaker 2: you and I can get an.
Speaker 1: Apartment about your freak, sweetie. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I have a lot of female friends who, after
Speaker 2: they had their children, have said to me, Kath, you're
Speaker 2: going to date and sleep with guys. I was like, well,
Speaker 2: if I find a guy, I'm interested. I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: not just going to hang a shinkle out. And they said,
Speaker 2: they said, I could care less about sex. I don't
Speaker 2: care if I ever have sex again. I have my kids,
Speaker 2: I have my tennis team. I don't care. And I
Speaker 2: can tell you many women I know feel that way.
Speaker 2: So I almost feel like I'm in the minority.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm in the same camp as you are. I
Speaker 1: don't have that conversation again. I feel a little uncomfortable
Speaker 1: talking about sex, but with you, actually I feel very comfortable.
Speaker 1: In fact, we had a weird conversation yesterday, not knowing
Speaker 1: we were having this conversation today. Yes, do you know
Speaker 1: things about me that I probably never said to another
Speaker 1: human being.
Speaker 2: I said things to you. We were sitting around the
Speaker 2: pool in la in our hotel, at our hotel, and
Speaker 2: we just started talking about sex and course, then both
Speaker 2: of us like Jesus, is somebody going to be sitting here?
Speaker 1: We're looking around, are hidden all of a sudden, season
Speaker 1: are free? No, we're not freaks. We were talking about
Speaker 1: things that we hadn't done, more than things we had done.
Speaker 1: But I feel the same way as you, and I
Speaker 1: want this to be like a PSA public service announcement.
Speaker 1: People our age, lots of them still do like having sex. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's more to it than just the physical part
Speaker 1: of it. I think maybe for the younger generation, so
Speaker 1: much more of it is physical. So, like you said,
Speaker 1: we've talked to the thirty year olds to twenty year
Speaker 1: olds that are out there dating and they have a
Speaker 1: pretty promiscuous I would say sex life way more than
Speaker 1: we did when we were their age. For me, it's
Speaker 1: about intimacy. It's about that closeness and about having a
Speaker 1: person that I trust enough to do that with. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be particularly love. It has to
Speaker 1: be trust and right and feeling safe.
Speaker 2: Now. That is where I'm different from what I thought
Speaker 2: I would be when I started dating initially, And even
Speaker 2: now I will say I'm either in a relationship with
Speaker 2: a guy or I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to
Speaker 2: be in one. But there you have to feel I
Speaker 2: have to feel safe. I'm not going into climb in
Speaker 2: bed with someone. You know, I'll go. If I want release,
Speaker 2: I'll go vacuum my living room rugs and run five
Speaker 2: miles right right, right, right. So but I think that
Speaker 2: I think that there there's all these sort of I
Speaker 2: don't even know what I want to say, these old
Speaker 2: sort of witch stories. You know, things women don't enjoy
Speaker 2: sex when they get older. I know that when people
Speaker 2: women hit menopause. At least for me, it was great
Speaker 2: because I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that necessarily that was great.
Speaker 2: But do you think sex gets worse the older you get.
Speaker 1: No, I'm fatch. I think it's maybe the opposite. I
Speaker 1: think I am more in tune. So there was a
Speaker 1: time where I thought I am here to satisfy my
Speaker 1: husband or the man or whatever, and that was kind
Speaker 1: of my job. And like I took like.
Speaker 2: You saw it as a job, not as a job.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't like the physical part of it wasn't
Speaker 1: as important as the emotional part of it, as the
Speaker 1: intimacy part, Like the interest me see doesn't necessary, isn't
Speaker 1: the like the ending of you know, the sex act.
Speaker 1: So I always felt like it certainly was for the man,
Speaker 1: and I was more in tune to making sure he
Speaker 1: was pleased than myself. I am different now than I'm older.
Speaker 1: I feel like I get to have both you can
Speaker 1: because I was never into that. That's funny.
Speaker 2: I almost, I almost. I mean I was very reciprocal,
Speaker 2: is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I gotta say I learned a weird thing on a
Speaker 1: Bachelor season. I can't remember who the bachelorette was, but
Speaker 1: they took I think she was a teacher, and they
Speaker 1: took the men from her season. There must have been
Speaker 1: about ten left, and they went to a middle school
Speaker 1: classroom and they their job was to do a sex
Speaker 1: ad class to kids do it and so and one
Speaker 1: of the guys got up and I so appreciate this
Speaker 1: guy that he got up there and he was just
Speaker 1: talking like in very generic terms, and he said, you know,
Speaker 1: when you know a man loves a woman loves him
Speaker 1: as a man, whatever, we sometimes do it. And he said,
Speaker 1: but it's important to know that that if you don't
Speaker 1: take into account their kind of satisfaction, then they're not
Speaker 1: going to want to do it with you anymore. And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, good for you that you realize that,
Speaker 1: because I'm not sure every man that I had sex
Speaker 1: with when I was younger got that.
Speaker 2: I will say. I was going to say, as and again,
Speaker 2: you know, it's not like I've slept with hundreds of
Speaker 2: men now either. But but give me another couple of years,
Speaker 2: you know, still got time. Just kidding, I'm sure, no,
Speaker 2: But I think that now with age for me has come, uh,
Speaker 2: I deserve the same treatment. And I feel like it's
Speaker 2: not just when we had kids, you know, it was like,
Speaker 2: hurry up the kids. I gotta get kids a little right, No,
Speaker 2: exactly exactly, And now I think the I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can only say, and you can tell me if
Speaker 2: you feel differently. Now it's not just about the actual
Speaker 2: act of you know, penetration, it's what comes before it
Speaker 2: what it's what comes after a weekend and slow it down.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm saying. The intimate, the intimacy part
Speaker 1: of it is more important than maybe the ending of it.
Speaker 1: But now I feel like you can have both. And
Speaker 1: I did not feel like that when I was younger.
Speaker 1: I really didn't. I felt like I got the intimacy
Speaker 1: my husband or my partner got you know, you know,
Speaker 1: the ending. And I can't even say it isn't that embarrassing?
Speaker 2: Wait three years old and after me my husband had
Speaker 2: an organs.
Speaker 1: I am not saying that my husband he's in heaven
Speaker 1: and climax. I don't know. I can say, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: we're just we're just apparently were they picked the wrong
Speaker 1: person to do this podcast?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Did you have nerves getting back on the horse
Speaker 2: as it were?
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I really didn't. Well, okay, I'd
Speaker 1: say I did a little bit, But I, like I said,
Speaker 1: I still enjoyed having sex. I still enjoyed the intimacy.
Speaker 1: I still enjoy the ending, say, I'm calling it the
Speaker 1: ending now and so and I thought, when when John
Speaker 1: passed away, in so many aspects of my life, I said,
Speaker 1: is this all I get? Is this the end of it?
Speaker 1: And that was one of the things, you know, also
Speaker 1: that intimacy and also having that kind of relationship with
Speaker 1: another man. I thought, do I ever get to have
Speaker 1: that again? So I was seeking that out too, as
Speaker 1: well as a lot of other things, like the other
Speaker 1: things that I felt like I had lost when he
Speaker 1: passed away. So I didn't think that was the end.
Speaker 1: I thought that I deserved it. I thought that I
Speaker 1: wanted it, and I sought it out.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to be honest. I don't judge Woopi Goldberg.
Speaker 2: I think that's good for you. Good for you wood
Speaker 2: Be if that's what floats your boat, if that's what
Speaker 2: makes you happy. I just think that women can be
Speaker 2: so judgy at any age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to start supporting each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a little bit too much judgment
Speaker 2: that goes on.
Speaker 1: I think the man are going to love us if
Speaker 1: we support each other, because it's going to okay.
Speaker 2: So I have a question, do you do you think
Speaker 2: men are embarrassed by Like, let's be honest, women after
Speaker 2: a certain age, we we need if you're not on
Speaker 2: hormone replacement. You know, there's all kinds of things that
Speaker 2: you can use so that it's you know, I love
Speaker 2: or up against a brick wall. But do you find
Speaker 2: that men feel self conscious about the fact they might
Speaker 2: need to use that little blue pill? Have you ever
Speaker 2: had that conversation?
Speaker 1: No, And I've been with me men who have had
Speaker 1: to use a little blue pill. And I think it's
Speaker 1: really pretty normal, and I think it's pretty accepted since
Speaker 1: it's kind of out there in the world. There's commercials
Speaker 1: about it, and you know, if it makes it better,
Speaker 1: I mean the other the other option is that it's
Speaker 1: not going to be good. And do you want it
Speaker 1: to not be good? Do you want it to not
Speaker 1: be able to, you know, get to the point it
Speaker 1: needs to be well?
Speaker 2: I hear you, and that's a very logical answer, and
Speaker 2: I agree with you. But I've had men say to
Speaker 2: me proudly, I don't need to use a little blue pill.
Speaker 2: I'm well, good for you, yeah, exactly good, but.
Speaker 1: Judging you if you do right? In fact, like I
Speaker 1: want it to be good. So use the little blue
Speaker 1: pill if you need to.
Speaker 2: So the men that for me, again, I'm a little
Speaker 2: bit older than you. I find that men very quickly
Speaker 2: are more forward about talking about sex, like they want
Speaker 2: to know pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: They want to know.
Speaker 2: They want to know, are you going to say you will?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And it's not if I buy you a nice dinner,
Speaker 2: you're going to go to bed with me. It's listen,
Speaker 2: I'm interested in you, but I'm not going to date
Speaker 2: you if you're not going to have sex with me
Speaker 2: down the road. Down the road could be two dates later,
Speaker 2: a month later, but they want to know up front.
Speaker 2: Have you found that as well?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? And you know what, it's fair because you even
Speaker 1: said in the beginning of this podcast you have friends
Speaker 1: who are not interested in it. I don't think men
Speaker 1: ever get to that point unless you have a really
Speaker 1: like maybe very very testosterone they are having like maybe
Speaker 1: some physical issues. They don't ever not want to have sex.
Speaker 1: And so did you fare did you think when.
Speaker 2: You were twenty five? Did you? I mean, can you?
Speaker 2: I remember thinking, oh, my parents are having sex.
Speaker 1: Yeah, God, God, I know. I'm sorry kids for having
Speaker 1: this conversation.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: In a podcast right now. I'm just telling you, just.
Speaker 2: So we're clear. Your father and I only had sex
Speaker 2: three times. That's why I have three children only, just
Speaker 2: so we're clear. Okay, this You're gonna love this question, John,
Speaker 2: Aren't you glad you're in this podcast room with me?
Speaker 1: Where's the vodka?
Speaker 2: Now? That is my line where it's the vodcast? Okay?
Speaker 2: At our age? Is there such a thing as a
Speaker 2: fuck boy?
Speaker 1: I recently read I recently had someone trying to be
Speaker 1: a fuck boy with me. I was at an event
Speaker 1: and I ended up to.
Speaker 2: Your citizen fuck boys.
Speaker 1: No, oh gosh no, they're usually like in their twenties
Speaker 1: and thirties, thinking that like for some reason they like
Speaker 1: older women.
Speaker 2: And I don't really do Oh, I don't think a
Speaker 2: fuck boys the term. Sorry coming can I say fucking
Speaker 2: this podcast? But I don't think that it has anything
Speaker 2: to do with you.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm saying. That the one experience, or
Speaker 1: not the one experience, but the most recent experience happened
Speaker 1: like two weeks ago with a like thirty year old
Speaker 1: hitting on me and I was like, and he wanted
Speaker 1: to come up to my hotel room, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is not happening. This is not happening, and he
Speaker 1: was very persistent. And so I think that there is
Speaker 1: a perception that we are willing to do that. So
Speaker 1: I think funk boys are fine, and I think that
Speaker 1: apparently enough of us are doing it that people think
Speaker 1: that they're going to be successful when they I.
Speaker 2: Think, I think there's a whole host of reasons why
Speaker 2: young ICEQ after older women and and but.
Speaker 1: That could be a whole podcast. That could be a
Speaker 1: whole podcast.
Speaker 2: Agree, But I also think that older men, you know,
Speaker 2: it's it's like something they're born with. You know, how
Speaker 2: many places can I drop my my semen in the world?
Speaker 2: You know? I mean, I think they know.
Speaker 1: It's going to be the title of this podcast.
Speaker 2: Where where did I put my where? But I will
Speaker 2: tell you I I am.
Speaker 1: Do you find it with older men that they are
Speaker 1: trying to be fun boys instead of having relationships personally?
Speaker 2: When I meet a guy, they find out really quickly
Speaker 2: that I'm not that's not my thing. And so you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I yes have had men ask
Speaker 2: me like, hey, yeah, I find you really attractive. You
Speaker 2: want to just have sex? Like no, I don't, but
Speaker 2: thank you because because thanks for asking, because having sex
Speaker 2: means more to me. However, I don't judge women. I
Speaker 2: have friends. I mean, I think there's I think it's
Speaker 2: incredibly stupid. I have a couple of friends who met
Speaker 2: guys in bars in their sixties, met men in bars,
Speaker 2: went home and had sex with them and didn't even
Speaker 2: use protection. And I'm like, Okay, that's smart. That's just
Speaker 2: not smart at any.
Speaker 1: Any age, I know. I mean, you do hear those
Speaker 1: stories that that sex is so prevalent in like old
Speaker 1: age communities that they have a problem with venearial diseases. Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a fact.
Speaker 2: And that's another reason not to move to a fifty
Speaker 2: five and over.
Speaker 1: Because those sluts are spreading pad diseases. Our seamen is
Speaker 1: all over the place.
Speaker 2: I know, wait a minute, there's female sluts too. Let's
Speaker 2: just you know.
Speaker 1: They're right out there too.
Speaker 2: They put their their their their.
Speaker 1: Sluts about anyone having sex. Is really bad about it
Speaker 1: because I don't feel like it's slutty. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's like God gave you this, like you know, urge
Speaker 1: to have sex, and I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1: In fact, I feel the same you do if you
Speaker 1: are willing to do that and that is what makes
Speaker 1: you happy. I'm like, go for it, guys, and there's
Speaker 1: plenty of men that will do it with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we need to come up with like and
Speaker 2: I've got an idea instead of a boy at our age,
Speaker 2: how about senior fucker?
Speaker 1: I call them like, I say that about people. I
Speaker 1: don't like people, senior suckers, senior fuck about fuck man
Speaker 1: and boy?
Speaker 2: No no, I mean then it's like fuck granddaddy, Like, oh,
Speaker 2: fuck old geezer. Yeah, no, you know, fucking geezer.
Speaker 1: I don't like, does have to you have the word
Speaker 1: fucking it?
Speaker 2: Well, maybe what it is, the act of seriously doesn't
Speaker 2: have to have a word, and they absolutely no, let's
Speaker 2: call it. Let's call it you know, uh walking walking
Speaker 2: jad man? I mean, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Okay, We're not probably going to be able to change
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: I like senior fuer.
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 2: What advice Joan, jeez, get read? Can I ask you
Speaker 2: these questions? What advice would you give to women who
Speaker 2: have never tried a sex toy because they might think
Speaker 2: of them as shameful and there are women who.
Speaker 1: Do well, Okay, I'm gonna say this right on camera.
Speaker 1: I've never tried it sex toy.
Speaker 2: I didn't hear you.
Speaker 1: I've never tried a sex.
Speaker 2: You are never serious.
Speaker 1: I never have.
Speaker 2: Okay, there are never real men who shall go nameless
Speaker 2: on our side. Exactly was a suitcase full of thee
Speaker 2: I know. I'm always so amazed by that. I'm always
Speaker 2: so amazed that No never had one. I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm a prude. I just you just didn't need one.
Speaker 1: Never had one. No, never had a man that has
Speaker 1: like thought like suggested it.
Speaker 2: I obviously well no that I will be honest with you.
Speaker 2: I did not know until recently that sex toys, I
Speaker 2: think are were much more common with younger people. It's
Speaker 2: it's I don't know. I don't know why I say that.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm wrong, but I did not know until recently,
Speaker 2: because someone educated me on this that that's a whole
Speaker 2: other kind of sex, is of intimacy of your partner
Speaker 2: and you using sex toys.
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of like, I feel cheated, like I can.
Speaker 1: I'm inteliging like I've never had a partner like suggests that, so.
Speaker 2: I haven't either. But I'm saying I don't want I'll
Speaker 2: do that when you're not around, Like I just you know,
Speaker 2: would you ever suggest it to a woman.
Speaker 1: Like to use one?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sure, if that's what you need, you should use it.
Speaker 1: I am not like a prude. Just because I haven't
Speaker 1: done it doesn't mean I prude. Just because I don't
Speaker 1: have fuck boys or fuck what do what do we
Speaker 1: call it? Old fuckers? I don't know whatever we're calling it.
Speaker 1: Just because I haven't done that doesn't mean I'm judging
Speaker 1: anybody who does it. I think it's great. I just
Speaker 1: that's not what does it for me. I I like
Speaker 1: need intimacy, But I can't say that, Like if someone
Speaker 1: suggested it, I would say no, to be honest, But
Speaker 1: you think.
Speaker 2: Women our age. I don't know. Maybe it's just the
Speaker 2: way I grew up. I have grown out of it.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna be honest. There's a lot of freedom
Speaker 2: that in my mind, the older I get them more like,
Speaker 2: I don't care what you think. I'm doing what I want.
Speaker 2: I agree, But I think a lot of women feel
Speaker 2: that it's shameful to have sex choice, it's shameful to
Speaker 2: have more than one sexual partner at a time. I'm
Speaker 2: not saying I do or I don't. I'm I'm saying
Speaker 2: it is those that's shame. I don't think it's attached
Speaker 2: to men, not at all. Well, I get tired of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I mean, this is going to be a
Speaker 1: long evolution to change society's feelings about the difference between
Speaker 1: women having sex and men having We've come along with
Speaker 1: come a long way. We have a whole other generation,
Speaker 1: or maybe more.
Speaker 2: So when you say fuck boy, that's why I like
Speaker 2: senior fuckers. It can be male or female.
Speaker 1: Not old fuckers, right, not old fuckers male or female.
Speaker 2: No, oh, that's a state of mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, never senior fuckers fuckers. I think that. I think
Speaker 1: so we talk about like retirement communities and how it's
Speaker 1: so prevalent. So I think that amongst us we all
Speaker 1: think it's okay. I think we're afraid that our younger
Speaker 1: generation or the younger kids are actually going to think
Speaker 1: badly about us, because we don't feel badly about each other.
Speaker 1: I'm like, go for it. I'm glad for you, and
Speaker 1: I'm like that with my friends. I think we're worried
Speaker 1: about the younger generation. We're worried about what our kids
Speaker 1: are going to think about not each other thinks about us.
Speaker 2: I used to. I don't anymore. But I think part
Speaker 2: of that is is, you know, the hard stop on
Speaker 2: my marriage. I mean, when you know, one day it
Speaker 2: was done, the next day wasn't, and so it took
Speaker 2: me a long time when he died. You and I've
Speaker 2: talked about this, the thought of having sex. You guys,
Speaker 2: it was you might as well said it. And right
Speaker 2: after you have sex, we're flying into the moon. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's how it.
Speaker 1: Was so far from It took years to get to
Speaker 1: the right place, but I did get there.
Speaker 2: Okay, So the next the next thought I have. These
Speaker 2: are all things you know, I stay up late night
Speaker 2: thinking about just in case, you know, when I'm not
Speaker 2: having sex, is what.
Speaker 1: You're thinking about all night long about Goldberg and what
Speaker 1: she's doing.
Speaker 2: No, I'm like, I want the I want the list
Speaker 2: of men where she get him. I want her cast offs.
Speaker 2: So I know, I told you this earlier in the podcast.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of female friends who sex drive
Speaker 2: hasn and and part of it is, you know, estrogen,
Speaker 2: they're out of hormones and or they're just they don't
Speaker 2: care anymore, they haven't used it. So I what what
Speaker 2: advice would you give to one. I think there is
Speaker 2: some truth too. If you don't use it, you lose it.
Speaker 2: And they want connection but they don't. So I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't take a hormone, pellets or anything. I don't
Speaker 2: we either know, I just don't. I don't I don't
Speaker 2: want to.
Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if I can give advice because
Speaker 1: I don't have the problem. But the thought to me
Speaker 1: is that if you feel safe and you feel loved,
Speaker 1: and you have that intimate connection, I'm surprised you don't
Speaker 1: have that feeling, like you know, I'd like to get
Speaker 1: a little closer to this person. I would like to
Speaker 1: do this in the bedroom instead of sit there watching
Speaker 1: a movie like there there's the next level, Like you
Speaker 1: can only get to a certain level with a person
Speaker 1: if you are not will William willing to have a
Speaker 1: more intimate relationship, like I think it stops.
Speaker 2: But see, I think women, and we talked about this earlier.
Speaker 2: I think there's so much tied up. A woman may
Speaker 2: say I have low sex thrive, but maybe really what's
Speaker 2: going on because we're all about women. Unfortunately, it's our bodies,
Speaker 2: our face, our hair, how do we look, do we
Speaker 2: look our age, you want to look younger. You think
Speaker 2: men's that are on have these conversations. That's the whole
Speaker 2: thing about safety.
Speaker 1: Like, if you feel safe like this, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be judged because we have a relationship that's big
Speaker 1: enough or good enough that I feel safe with you.
Speaker 1: So no matter what, if you know, but if you
Speaker 1: seem undressed and my boobs aren't up to hear, they're
Speaker 1: down to hear, like it is what it is.
Speaker 2: But that's a lot of work. I think a lot
Speaker 2: of women who aren't in a relationship want to be touched.
Speaker 2: And that can be any kind of touch. It could
Speaker 2: be a massage, it can be a foot massage, it
Speaker 2: can be getting a pedicure.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: I love that too, But I think that it doesn't
Speaker 2: have to culminate in what did you say before, It
Speaker 2: doesn't have to culminate end. It doesn't have to know
Speaker 2: the ending, It does not have to end, you know.
Speaker 1: Just the physical touch.
Speaker 2: And I think again, I think women need to You
Speaker 2: and I are pretty self confident women. But even if
Speaker 2: you're not confident, there is nothing wrong with finding alternative
Speaker 2: ways to have that physical connection. Touch and you know
Speaker 2: what you might find you, but one might find that
Speaker 2: if you can get a little bit out of your
Speaker 2: comfort zone and try, it's not as scary, you know,
Speaker 2: as what you women sometimes have convinced themselves.
Speaker 1: I somewhat feel like there may be two separate matters.
Speaker 2: So can I want a massage right now?
Speaker 1: That the thought, I know, where's the I don't know
Speaker 1: it's the sweet with the massage. I do feel like
Speaker 1: they are kind of two separate things. But I feel
Speaker 1: like in the end, to have a really good relationship
Speaker 1: you have to have both. You have to have the
Speaker 1: physical and the emotional intimacy. And I feel like like
Speaker 1: a woman that says I crave touch, but I don't
Speaker 1: want to have sex with a man. There are great alternatives,
Speaker 1: like you said, like a massage or having Like I
Speaker 1: love having my feet rubbed. It feels so good. It's
Speaker 1: it like it like brings me down to like another level.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm having a bad day or whatever, I
Speaker 1: get a foot massage, I'm happy for a week.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to say that all of this talk
Speaker 2: has made me want to get back in the saddle.
Speaker 1: Like in the next ten minute saddle you're calling it
Speaker 1: the saddle. Well, no, I've just finish that that thought
Speaker 1: a little bit because I feel like otherwise you just
Speaker 1: have a friend and nothing.
Speaker 2: You know that there's anything wrong. It's a friend with benefits.
Speaker 2: You ever heard of it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm thinking about a friend without benefits. So like,
Speaker 1: let's say you were in a relationship with a person
Speaker 1: and the man really wants to have sex and you
Speaker 1: really don't. Well, that guy's you a friend now, and
Speaker 1: he's going to consider you just a friend.
Speaker 2: We've covered a lot of topics here, you like talking
Speaker 2: about sex toys.
Speaker 1: Now we're going I know where you're going with this.
Speaker 2: Sixty nine First, before we get into it, no pun
Speaker 2: intended is sixty nine. When you hear that and we're
Speaker 2: sexually talking about sixty nine, do you think of one
Speaker 2: on top of the other or side by side? I've
Speaker 2: I literally have been taking a poll in the last month.
Speaker 1: I know, and we talked about this yesterday, which is
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. And I think it's one on top
Speaker 1: of the other, but I don't know. So then let
Speaker 1: me just say, hold on, wait, it's side. It's got
Speaker 1: to be side by side because it's sixty nine. If
Speaker 1: it's on top, then it's eleven, And it's not called eleven.
Speaker 1: It just depends on your point of view.
Speaker 2: It is not called eleven. It is called your.
Speaker 1: Point of you. Side by side is eleven to me?
Speaker 1: Side by side one one, that's sixteen.
Speaker 2: Clearly you've never partaken if you just said that, girlfriend.
Speaker 1: By the way, I have never partaken in it.
Speaker 2: Well, oh, there's a news flash.
Speaker 1: We're gonna please do not make that the headline. I
Speaker 1: sound like a really big crude and I'm really not.
Speaker 2: I don't. But here's the thing I had never ever
Speaker 2: to me sixty nine. I mean I literally had to
Speaker 2: draw a graphic for someone like they didn't get it.
Speaker 1: They didn't get it. Oh, I get it, I understand
Speaker 1: how So then.
Speaker 2: They go, no, it's one on top of you, and
Speaker 2: I went, that's eleven. No it's not.
Speaker 1: Side by side's eleven? What on top is a sixueting?
Speaker 2: You know what? We got to wrap this up because
Speaker 2: I need to go draw you a diagram.
Speaker 1: I know how it works. I know how it works. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think I think that.
Speaker 2: Do you think that's an intimate act?
Speaker 1: Oh, Gosha like probably one of the most yeah, I
Speaker 1: think for me. And we had this conversation requires way
Speaker 1: too much concentration to be doing and receiving at the
Speaker 1: same time. Is just a lot?
Speaker 2: Oh you mean two finishes at the same time?
Speaker 1: Can connect finish, connect the neck, connect down the stretch?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I don't know, but this whole conversation's made
Speaker 2: me very horny John, So I got wow.
Speaker 1: And we're in a room of mostly women here one
Speaker 1: guy's married.
Speaker 2: Okay, enough of this silliness. Listen, are you getting back
Speaker 2: in the saddle? There's that word again? But feeling nervous
Speaker 2: and need advice? Call us or email us. All the
Speaker 2: info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials.
Speaker 2: Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do
Speaker 2: Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
Speaker 2: the main objective, right,