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Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.

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Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Kathy Schwartz, and I'm joined by

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Speaker 2: my fellow Golden Bachshoulder alum and good friend Joan Vassas. Hi.

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Speaker 1: Joanes, Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad to be here with you.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So we are here at the iHeart Awards in

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles, and you've not been before? Is that right?

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Speaker 1: I've never been. I've watched them on TV and I'm

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Speaker 1: always like starstruck about the number of performers that actually

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Speaker 1: come to this thing. I'm so excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be great. I've been to it once

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Speaker 2: before and there are so many famous people. It's just

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Speaker 2: like eye candy the whole night.

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Speaker 1: I swear I'm going to meet somebody famous tonight.

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Speaker 2: I heard I heard Taylor Goodness coming.

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Speaker 1: I know Taylor. Oh well, I don't think I'm mean

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Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift. I'm sure her entourage is going to

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Speaker 1: keep me far away from her, but I'm gonna try

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Speaker 1: to photo them. I'm her on the red carpet if

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Speaker 1: I'm anywhere in here. Okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, before we get there tonight, we are going to

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Speaker 2: have a very interesting little chit chat this morning. Are

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Speaker 2: you ready?

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Speaker 1: I saw the subject and I don't think I am ready. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Well here I am three to two one. I just

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Speaker 1: got you ready. So recently, Woody Goldberg opened up about

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Speaker 1: her about her sex life, being single at seventy after

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Speaker 1: three divorces, and here's what she said. Quote, I am single.

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Speaker 1: I do hit and runs when I need it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not married to anybody, and I don't have responsibilities unquote.

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Speaker 1: She also said, in the last twenty five years, I

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Speaker 1: recognize that not everybody's cut out to be in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: Some people are just cut out to be one night stance.

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Speaker 1: So okay, how would you describe sex when you're over

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Speaker 1: sixty five? I know you're not over sixty five, but

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Speaker 1: I'm going to cut it down. How do you describe

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Speaker 1: having sex over sixty two?

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Speaker 2: Joan?

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you went right in for the kills,

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Speaker 1: didn't you know? It? Wine around here.

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Speaker 2: So much time? John, you know, it's just you and I.

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Speaker 2: We're in my living room. We're talking about sex. Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: So, first of all, like I got to think about

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Speaker 1: woop be Goldberg, and I think she's admitting to a

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Speaker 1: lot that I would have hard time admitting to like

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Speaker 1: on like so publicly, and it sounds like she is

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Speaker 1: perfectly happy having a like a like. She calls it

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Speaker 1: a fuck boy, a person that she just has sex with.

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Speaker 1: At this stage, I don't feel comfortable with that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not judging anybody. If you feel comfortable doing that, like,

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Speaker 1: more power to you. I wish I was maybe more

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Speaker 1: free about sex, but I just am not, and I

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Speaker 1: think maybe it has to do with our generation. Like,

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Speaker 1: even talking about it is uncomfortable for me, which is

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Speaker 1: here I am, and I'm podcast talking about it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm going to try. I really am, because I think

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Speaker 1: this is an important conversation. I honestly do.

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Speaker 2: I think it's an important conversation. I think that our generation,

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Speaker 2: you and I both grew up on the East Coast.

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Speaker 2: I think there's some of that puritanical heritage that are

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Speaker 2: I'm afraid and grandparents, you know, sent down to us,

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Speaker 2: and thank you very much for that. But I do

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Speaker 2: think that tom times are changing. We are both widows.

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Speaker 2: You're obviously in a relationship with talk. I'm not in

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Speaker 2: a relationship. But I think that when I got married,

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Speaker 2: I was my husband was my first sexual partner and

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Speaker 2: then I married him, and then I didn't have sex

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Speaker 2: with anyone else until after he died. So for me,

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Speaker 2: what will be saying like that? That takes a lot

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Speaker 2: of a lot of courage first to admit it. But

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Speaker 2: I think there are more women at all ages who

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Speaker 2: are still interested in having sex. You know, we all

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Speaker 2: we always hear about men and just men need a

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Speaker 2: place to stick at. We hear that all the time.

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Speaker 2: Men never lose their sex drive. I think women often,

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Speaker 2: I haven't lost my sex drive. You haven't lost yours.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not, you know what, I think it's weird, or

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's weird, But I think it's a

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Speaker 1: fact that a lot of people lose their sex drive

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Speaker 1: to the person they're married too because they become bored.

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Speaker 1: I think they I think they become I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: if it's boredom. I think they become too involved in

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Speaker 1: their lives and it just becomes less of a priority.

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Speaker 1: And then once that kind of happens, then it's hard

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Speaker 1: to get it back.

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Speaker 2: So I think what you're saying, if you don't use it.

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Speaker 1: You lose it. I kind of feel like that if

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Speaker 1: people made their sex life at priority in their life,

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Speaker 1: I think it stays. But if they don't, but I

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Speaker 1: have to say, like in my marriage, and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to admit this, and God, I hope my kids don't

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Speaker 1: listen to this. No one's going to listen to this.

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Speaker 2: Right, We're good.

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Speaker 1: If I got undressed in front of my husband, like

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Speaker 1: if I were in the bedroom and I'm putting on

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Speaker 1: like whatever I'm going to wear to sleep, if I

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Speaker 1: got undressed with him, he was going to want to

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Speaker 1: have sex with me, which was flattering that he still

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Speaker 1: like loved having sex with me. So if I wasn't

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Speaker 1: in the mood, I'd have to go in the closet

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Speaker 1: and get dressed because otherwise, you know, otherwise it was

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Speaker 1: going to happen. So or so.

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Speaker 2: So I will say for me when my husband died,

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Speaker 2: the thought of having sex. I know you've said before

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Speaker 2: on your season that you felt like you were cheating

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Speaker 2: on John. Initially, I did not feel like I was

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Speaker 2: cheating on my husband. When I the first time I

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Speaker 2: had sex after he died, it was it was at

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Speaker 2: least a few years after he died. But I will

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Speaker 2: tell you I was worried, is he going to think

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Speaker 2: I'm too thin? Is he going to think I'm too fat,

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Speaker 2: are my boobs hanging? You know, all those things that

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Speaker 2: as your body changes. We're not twenty years old anymore,

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Speaker 2: and I never really stopped to think do men think that.

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Speaker 2: Do they worry about themselves?

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Speaker 1: Do they see their belly or do they see something

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Speaker 1: that's not.

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Speaker 2: As Yeah, I mean I know that some men, they

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Speaker 2: don't like to talk about that little blue pill. They

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Speaker 2: like to think that they're virile whatever. But I will

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Speaker 2: be honest, I almost feel somethings like a freak. And

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Speaker 2: now my kids are going to listen and die, so

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Speaker 2: you and I can get an.

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Speaker 1: Apartment about your freak, sweetie. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I have a lot of female friends who, after

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Speaker 2: they had their children, have said to me, Kath, you're

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Speaker 2: going to date and sleep with guys. I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: if I find a guy, I'm interested. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: not just going to hang a shinkle out. And they said,

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Speaker 2: they said, I could care less about sex. I don't

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Speaker 2: care if I ever have sex again. I have my kids,

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Speaker 2: I have my tennis team. I don't care. And I

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Speaker 2: can tell you many women I know feel that way.

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Speaker 2: So I almost feel like I'm in the minority.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm in the same camp as you are. I

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Speaker 1: don't have that conversation again. I feel a little uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: talking about sex, but with you, actually I feel very comfortable.

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Speaker 1: In fact, we had a weird conversation yesterday, not knowing

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Speaker 1: we were having this conversation today. Yes, do you know

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Speaker 1: things about me that I probably never said to another

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Speaker 1: human being.

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Speaker 2: I said things to you. We were sitting around the

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Speaker 2: pool in la in our hotel, at our hotel, and

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Speaker 2: we just started talking about sex and course, then both

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Speaker 2: of us like Jesus, is somebody going to be sitting here?

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Speaker 1: We're looking around, are hidden all of a sudden, season

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Speaker 1: are free? No, we're not freaks. We were talking about

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Speaker 1: things that we hadn't done, more than things we had done.

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Speaker 1: But I feel the same way as you, and I

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Speaker 1: want this to be like a PSA public service announcement.

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Speaker 1: People our age, lots of them still do like having sex. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and there's more to it than just the physical part

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Speaker 1: of it. I think maybe for the younger generation, so

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Speaker 1: much more of it is physical. So, like you said,

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Speaker 1: we've talked to the thirty year olds to twenty year

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Speaker 1: olds that are out there dating and they have a

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Speaker 1: pretty promiscuous I would say sex life way more than

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Speaker 1: we did when we were their age. For me, it's

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Speaker 1: about intimacy. It's about that closeness and about having a

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Speaker 1: person that I trust enough to do that with. And

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be particularly love. It has to

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Speaker 1: be trust and right and feeling safe.

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Speaker 2: Now. That is where I'm different from what I thought

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Speaker 2: I would be when I started dating initially, And even

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Speaker 2: now I will say I'm either in a relationship with

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Speaker 2: a guy or I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be in one. But there you have to feel I

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Speaker 2: have to feel safe. I'm not going into climb in

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Speaker 2: bed with someone. You know, I'll go. If I want release,

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Speaker 2: I'll go vacuum my living room rugs and run five

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Speaker 2: miles right right, right, right. So but I think that

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Speaker 2: I think that there there's all these sort of I

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Speaker 2: don't even know what I want to say, these old

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Speaker 2: sort of witch stories. You know, things women don't enjoy

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Speaker 2: sex when they get older. I know that when people

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Speaker 2: women hit menopause. At least for me, it was great

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Speaker 2: because I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, that necessarily that was great.

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Speaker 2: But do you think sex gets worse the older you get.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm fatch. I think it's maybe the opposite. I

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Speaker 1: think I am more in tune. So there was a

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Speaker 1: time where I thought I am here to satisfy my

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Speaker 1: husband or the man or whatever, and that was kind

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Speaker 1: of my job. And like I took like.

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Speaker 2: You saw it as a job, not as a job.

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Speaker 1: But it wasn't like the physical part of it wasn't

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Speaker 1: as important as the emotional part of it, as the

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Speaker 1: intimacy part, Like the interest me see doesn't necessary, isn't

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Speaker 1: the like the ending of you know, the sex act.

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Speaker 1: So I always felt like it certainly was for the man,

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Speaker 1: and I was more in tune to making sure he

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Speaker 1: was pleased than myself. I am different now than I'm older.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I get to have both you can

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Speaker 1: because I was never into that. That's funny.

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Speaker 2: I almost, I almost. I mean I was very reciprocal,

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Speaker 2: is what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I gotta say I learned a weird thing on a

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Speaker 1: Bachelor season. I can't remember who the bachelorette was, but

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Speaker 1: they took I think she was a teacher, and they

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Speaker 1: took the men from her season. There must have been

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Speaker 1: about ten left, and they went to a middle school

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Speaker 1: classroom and they their job was to do a sex

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Speaker 1: ad class to kids do it and so and one

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Speaker 1: of the guys got up and I so appreciate this

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Speaker 1: guy that he got up there and he was just

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Speaker 1: talking like in very generic terms, and he said, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you know a man loves a woman loves him

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Speaker 1: as a man, whatever, we sometimes do it. And he said,

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Speaker 1: but it's important to know that that if you don't

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Speaker 1: take into account their kind of satisfaction, then they're not

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Speaker 1: going to want to do it with you anymore. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, good for you that you realize that,

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Speaker 1: because I'm not sure every man that I had sex

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Speaker 1: with when I was younger got that.

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Speaker 2: I will say. I was going to say, as and again,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's not like I've slept with hundreds of

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Speaker 2: men now either. But but give me another couple of years,

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Speaker 2: you know, still got time. Just kidding, I'm sure, no,

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Speaker 2: But I think that now with age for me has come, uh,

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Speaker 2: I deserve the same treatment. And I feel like it's

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Speaker 2: not just when we had kids, you know, it was like,

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Speaker 2: hurry up the kids. I gotta get kids a little right, No,

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Speaker 2: exactly exactly, And now I think the I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I can only say, and you can tell me if

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Speaker 2: you feel differently. Now it's not just about the actual

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Speaker 2: act of you know, penetration, it's what comes before it

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Speaker 2: what it's what comes after a weekend and slow it down.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm saying. The intimate, the intimacy part

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Speaker 1: of it is more important than maybe the ending of it.

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Speaker 1: But now I feel like you can have both. And

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Speaker 1: I did not feel like that when I was younger.

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Speaker 1: I really didn't. I felt like I got the intimacy

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Speaker 1: my husband or my partner got you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: the ending. And I can't even say it isn't that embarrassing?

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Speaker 2: Wait three years old and after me my husband had

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Speaker 2: an organs.

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Speaker 1: I am not saying that my husband he's in heaven

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Speaker 1: and climax. I don't know. I can say, Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: we're just we're just apparently were they picked the wrong

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Speaker 1: person to do this podcast?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Did you have nerves getting back on the horse

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Speaker 2: as it were?

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Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I really didn't. Well, okay, I'd

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Speaker 1: say I did a little bit, But I, like I said,

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Speaker 1: I still enjoyed having sex. I still enjoyed the intimacy.

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Speaker 1: I still enjoy the ending, say, I'm calling it the

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Speaker 1: ending now and so and I thought, when when John

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Speaker 1: passed away, in so many aspects of my life, I said,

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Speaker 1: is this all I get? Is this the end of it?

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Speaker 1: And that was one of the things, you know, also

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Speaker 1: that intimacy and also having that kind of relationship with

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Speaker 1: another man. I thought, do I ever get to have

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Speaker 1: that again? So I was seeking that out too, as

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Speaker 1: well as a lot of other things, like the other

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Speaker 1: things that I felt like I had lost when he

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Speaker 1: passed away. So I didn't think that was the end.

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Speaker 1: I thought that I deserved it. I thought that I

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Speaker 1: wanted it, and I sought it out.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to be honest. I don't judge Woopi Goldberg.

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Speaker 2: I think that's good for you. Good for you wood

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Speaker 2: Be if that's what floats your boat, if that's what

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Speaker 2: makes you happy. I just think that women can be

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Speaker 2: so judgy at any age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to start supporting each other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a little bit too much judgment

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Speaker 2: that goes on.

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Speaker 1: I think the man are going to love us if

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Speaker 1: we support each other, because it's going to okay.

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Speaker 2: So I have a question, do you do you think

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Speaker 2: men are embarrassed by Like, let's be honest, women after

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Speaker 2: a certain age, we we need if you're not on

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Speaker 2: hormone replacement. You know, there's all kinds of things that

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Speaker 2: you can use so that it's you know, I love

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Speaker 2: or up against a brick wall. But do you find

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Speaker 2: that men feel self conscious about the fact they might

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Speaker 2: need to use that little blue pill? Have you ever

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Speaker 2: had that conversation?

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Speaker 1: No, And I've been with me men who have had

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Speaker 1: to use a little blue pill. And I think it's

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Speaker 1: really pretty normal, and I think it's pretty accepted since

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Speaker 1: it's kind of out there in the world. There's commercials

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Speaker 1: about it, and you know, if it makes it better,

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Speaker 1: I mean the other the other option is that it's

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Speaker 1: not going to be good. And do you want it

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Speaker 1: to not be good? Do you want it to not

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Speaker 1: be able to, you know, get to the point it

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Speaker 1: needs to be well?

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Speaker 2: I hear you, and that's a very logical answer, and

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Speaker 2: I agree with you. But I've had men say to

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Speaker 2: me proudly, I don't need to use a little blue pill.

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Speaker 2: I'm well, good for you, yeah, exactly good, but.

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Speaker 1: Judging you if you do right? In fact, like I

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Speaker 1: want it to be good. So use the little blue

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Speaker 1: pill if you need to.

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Speaker 2: So the men that for me, again, I'm a little

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Speaker 2: bit older than you. I find that men very quickly

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Speaker 2: are more forward about talking about sex, like they want

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Speaker 2: to know pretty quickly.

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Speaker 1: They want to know.

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Speaker 2: They want to know, are you going to say you will?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And it's not if I buy you a nice dinner,

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Speaker 2: you're going to go to bed with me. It's listen,

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Speaker 2: I'm interested in you, but I'm not going to date

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Speaker 2: you if you're not going to have sex with me

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Speaker 2: down the road. Down the road could be two dates later,

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Speaker 2: a month later, but they want to know up front.

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Speaker 2: Have you found that as well?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely? And you know what, it's fair because you even

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Speaker 1: said in the beginning of this podcast you have friends

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Speaker 1: who are not interested in it. I don't think men

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Speaker 1: ever get to that point unless you have a really

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Speaker 1: like maybe very very testosterone they are having like maybe

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Speaker 1: some physical issues. They don't ever not want to have sex.

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Speaker 1: And so did you fare did you think when.

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Speaker 2: You were twenty five? Did you? I mean, can you?

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Speaker 2: I remember thinking, oh, my parents are having sex.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, God, God, I know. I'm sorry kids for having

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Speaker 1: this conversation.

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Speaker 2: Sorry.

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Speaker 1: In a podcast right now. I'm just telling you, just.

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Speaker 2: So we're clear. Your father and I only had sex

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Speaker 2: three times. That's why I have three children only, just

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Speaker 2: so we're clear. Okay, this You're gonna love this question, John,

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Speaker 2: Aren't you glad you're in this podcast room with me?

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Speaker 1: Where's the vodka?

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Speaker 2: Now? That is my line where it's the vodcast? Okay?

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Speaker 2: At our age? Is there such a thing as a

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Speaker 2: fuck boy?

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Speaker 1: I recently read I recently had someone trying to be

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Speaker 1: a fuck boy with me. I was at an event

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Speaker 1: and I ended up to.

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Speaker 2: Your citizen fuck boys.

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Speaker 1: No, oh gosh no, they're usually like in their twenties

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Speaker 1: and thirties, thinking that like for some reason they like

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Speaker 1: older women.

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Speaker 2: And I don't really do Oh, I don't think a

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Speaker 2: fuck boys the term. Sorry coming can I say fucking

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Speaker 2: this podcast? But I don't think that it has anything

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Speaker 2: to do with you.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm saying. That the one experience, or

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Speaker 1: not the one experience, but the most recent experience happened

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Speaker 1: like two weeks ago with a like thirty year old

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Speaker 1: hitting on me and I was like, and he wanted

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Speaker 1: to come up to my hotel room, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is not happening. This is not happening, and he

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Speaker 1: was very persistent. And so I think that there is

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Speaker 1: a perception that we are willing to do that. So

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Speaker 1: I think funk boys are fine, and I think that

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Speaker 1: apparently enough of us are doing it that people think

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Speaker 1: that they're going to be successful when they I.

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Speaker 2: Think, I think there's a whole host of reasons why

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Speaker 2: young ICEQ after older women and and but.

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Speaker 1: That could be a whole podcast. That could be a

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Speaker 1: whole podcast.

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Speaker 2: Agree, But I also think that older men, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's it's like something they're born with. You know, how

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Speaker 2: many places can I drop my my semen in the world?

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Speaker 2: You know? I mean, I think they know.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be the title of this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Where where did I put my where? But I will

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Speaker 2: tell you I I am.

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Speaker 1: Do you find it with older men that they are

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Speaker 1: trying to be fun boys instead of having relationships personally?

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Speaker 2: When I meet a guy, they find out really quickly

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Speaker 2: that I'm not that's not my thing. And so you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but I yes have had men ask

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Speaker 2: me like, hey, yeah, I find you really attractive. You

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Speaker 2: want to just have sex? Like no, I don't, but

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Speaker 2: thank you because because thanks for asking, because having sex

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Speaker 2: means more to me. However, I don't judge women. I

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Speaker 2: have friends. I mean, I think there's I think it's

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Speaker 2: incredibly stupid. I have a couple of friends who met

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Speaker 2: guys in bars in their sixties, met men in bars,

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Speaker 2: went home and had sex with them and didn't even

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Speaker 2: use protection. And I'm like, Okay, that's smart. That's just

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Speaker 2: not smart at any.

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Speaker 1: Any age, I know. I mean, you do hear those

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00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,360
Speaker 1: stories that that sex is so prevalent in like old

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00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 1: age communities that they have a problem with venearial diseases. Yeah, so,

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00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 1: I mean it's a fact.

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00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 2: And that's another reason not to move to a fifty

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Speaker 2: five and over.

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Speaker 1: Because those sluts are spreading pad diseases. Our seamen is

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Speaker 1: all over the place.

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Speaker 2: I know, wait a minute, there's female sluts too. Let's

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Speaker 2: just you know.

387
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: They're right out there too.

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Speaker 2: They put their their their their.

389
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Speaker 1: Sluts about anyone having sex. Is really bad about it

390
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 1: because I don't feel like it's slutty. I feel like

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00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 1: it's like God gave you this, like you know, urge

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Speaker 1: to have sex, and I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I feel the same you do if you

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00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 1: are willing to do that and that is what makes

395
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Speaker 1: you happy. I'm like, go for it, guys, and there's

396
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: plenty of men that will do it with you.

397
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we need to come up with like and

398
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 2: I've got an idea instead of a boy at our age,

399
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,200
Speaker 2: how about senior fucker?

400
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,399
Speaker 1: I call them like, I say that about people. I

401
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 1: don't like people, senior suckers, senior fuck about fuck man

402
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 1: and boy?

403
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 2: No no, I mean then it's like fuck granddaddy, Like, oh,

404
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,880
Speaker 2: fuck old geezer. Yeah, no, you know, fucking geezer.

405
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 1: I don't like, does have to you have the word

406
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: fucking it?

407
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 2: Well, maybe what it is, the act of seriously doesn't

408
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: have to have a word, and they absolutely no, let's

409
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 2: call it. Let's call it you know, uh walking walking

410
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 2: jad man? I mean, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: Okay, We're not probably going to be able to change

412
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 1: that one.

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00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 2: I like senior fuer.

414
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 1: I like it.

415
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 2: What advice Joan, jeez, get read? Can I ask you

416
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 2: these questions? What advice would you give to women who

417
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: have never tried a sex toy because they might think

418
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 2: of them as shameful and there are women who.

419
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: Do well, Okay, I'm gonna say this right on camera.

420
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 1: I've never tried it sex toy.

421
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:58,920
Speaker 2: I didn't hear you.

422
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,080
Speaker 1: I've never tried a sex.

423
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,400
Speaker 2: You are never serious.

424
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 1: I never have.

425
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 2: Okay, there are never real men who shall go nameless

426
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 2: on our side. Exactly was a suitcase full of thee

427
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 2: I know. I'm always so amazed by that. I'm always

428
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,239
Speaker 2: so amazed that No never had one. I don't think

429
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 2: I'm a prude. I just you just didn't need one.

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00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 1: Never had one. No, never had a man that has

431
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 1: like thought like suggested it.

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Speaker 2: I obviously well no that I will be honest with you.

433
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: I did not know until recently that sex toys, I

434
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 2: think are were much more common with younger people. It's

435
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: it's I don't know. I don't know why I say that.

436
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm wrong, but I did not know until recently,

437
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 2: because someone educated me on this that that's a whole

438
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 2: other kind of sex, is of intimacy of your partner

439
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: and you using sex toys.

440
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,479
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of like, I feel cheated, like I can.

441
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: I'm inteliging like I've never had a partner like suggests that, so.

442
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 2: I haven't either. But I'm saying I don't want I'll

443
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: do that when you're not around, Like I just you know,

444
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 2: would you ever suggest it to a woman.

445
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 1: Like to use one?

446
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 2: Yeah?

447
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,479
Speaker 1: Sure, if that's what you need, you should use it.

448
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 1: I am not like a prude. Just because I haven't

449
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 1: done it doesn't mean I prude. Just because I don't

450
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: have fuck boys or fuck what do what do we

451
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 1: call it? Old fuckers? I don't know whatever we're calling it.

452
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 1: Just because I haven't done that doesn't mean I'm judging

453
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,959
Speaker 1: anybody who does it. I think it's great. I just

454
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: that's not what does it for me. I I like

455
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 1: need intimacy, But I can't say that, Like if someone

456
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 1: suggested it, I would say no, to be honest, But

457
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: you think.

458
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: Women our age. I don't know. Maybe it's just the

459
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 2: way I grew up. I have grown out of it.

460
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna be honest. There's a lot of freedom

461
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: that in my mind, the older I get them more like,

462
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 2: I don't care what you think. I'm doing what I want.

463
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 2: I agree, But I think a lot of women feel

464
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 2: that it's shameful to have sex choice, it's shameful to

465
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 2: have more than one sexual partner at a time. I'm

466
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 2: not saying I do or I don't. I'm I'm saying

467
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 2: it is those that's shame. I don't think it's attached

468
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 2: to men, not at all. Well, I get tired of that.

469
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I mean, this is going to be a

470
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: long evolution to change society's feelings about the difference between

471
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 1: women having sex and men having We've come along with

472
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 1: come a long way. We have a whole other generation,

473
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: or maybe more.

474
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 2: So when you say fuck boy, that's why I like

475
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 2: senior fuckers. It can be male or female.

476
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 1: Not old fuckers, right, not old fuckers male or female.

477
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 2: No, oh, that's a state of mind.

478
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, never senior fuckers fuckers. I think that. I think

479
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 1: so we talk about like retirement communities and how it's

480
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: so prevalent. So I think that amongst us we all

481
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: think it's okay. I think we're afraid that our younger

482
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 1: generation or the younger kids are actually going to think

483
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 1: badly about us, because we don't feel badly about each other.

484
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, go for it. I'm glad for you, and

485
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 1: I'm like that with my friends. I think we're worried

486
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: about the younger generation. We're worried about what our kids

487
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 1: are going to think about not each other thinks about us.

488
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 2: I used to. I don't anymore. But I think part

489
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 2: of that is is, you know, the hard stop on

490
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 2: my marriage. I mean, when you know, one day it

491
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: was done, the next day wasn't, and so it took

492
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 2: me a long time when he died. You and I've

493
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 2: talked about this, the thought of having sex. You guys,

494
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: it was you might as well said it. And right

495
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: after you have sex, we're flying into the moon. I mean,

496
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 2: that's how it.

497
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: Was so far from It took years to get to

498
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: the right place, but I did get there.

499
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 2: Okay, So the next the next thought I have. These

500
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 2: are all things you know, I stay up late night

501
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 2: thinking about just in case, you know, when I'm not

502
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 2: having sex, is what.

503
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,719
Speaker 1: You're thinking about all night long about Goldberg and what

504
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: she's doing.

505
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 2: No, I'm like, I want the I want the list

506
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 2: of men where she get him. I want her cast offs.

507
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,400
Speaker 2: So I know, I told you this earlier in the podcast.

508
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 2: I have a lot of female friends who sex drive

509
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 2: hasn and and part of it is, you know, estrogen,

510
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: they're out of hormones and or they're just they don't

511
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 2: care anymore, they haven't used it. So I what what

512
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: advice would you give to one. I think there is

513
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 2: some truth too. If you don't use it, you lose it.

514
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: And they want connection but they don't. So I mean,

515
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 2: I don't take a hormone, pellets or anything. I don't

516
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 2: we either know, I just don't. I don't I don't

517
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: want to.

518
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if I can give advice because

519
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: I don't have the problem. But the thought to me

520
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,479
Speaker 1: is that if you feel safe and you feel loved,

521
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: and you have that intimate connection, I'm surprised you don't

522
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 1: have that feeling, like you know, I'd like to get

523
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: a little closer to this person. I would like to

524
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 1: do this in the bedroom instead of sit there watching

525
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 1: a movie like there there's the next level, Like you

526
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 1: can only get to a certain level with a person

527
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: if you are not will William willing to have a

528
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,959
Speaker 1: more intimate relationship, like I think it stops.

529
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: But see, I think women, and we talked about this earlier.

530
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 2: I think there's so much tied up. A woman may

531
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 2: say I have low sex thrive, but maybe really what's

532
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 2: going on because we're all about women. Unfortunately, it's our bodies,

533
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 2: our face, our hair, how do we look, do we

534
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 2: look our age, you want to look younger. You think

535
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 2: men's that are on have these conversations. That's the whole

536
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 2: thing about safety.

537
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: Like, if you feel safe like this, I'm not going

538
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: to be judged because we have a relationship that's big

539
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: enough or good enough that I feel safe with you.

540
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: So no matter what, if you know, but if you

541
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 1: seem undressed and my boobs aren't up to hear, they're

542
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: down to hear, like it is what it is.

543
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 2: But that's a lot of work. I think a lot

544
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 2: of women who aren't in a relationship want to be touched.

545
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 2: And that can be any kind of touch. It could

546
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: be a massage, it can be a foot massage, it

547
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 2: can be getting a pedicure.

548
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 1: I love that.

549
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 2: I love that too, But I think that it doesn't

550
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 2: have to culminate in what did you say before, It

551
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: doesn't have to culminate end. It doesn't have to know

552
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 2: the ending, It does not have to end, you know.

553
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 1: Just the physical touch.

554
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,959
Speaker 2: And I think again, I think women need to You

555
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 2: and I are pretty self confident women. But even if

556
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 2: you're not confident, there is nothing wrong with finding alternative

557
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 2: ways to have that physical connection. Touch and you know

558
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 2: what you might find you, but one might find that

559
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: if you can get a little bit out of your

560
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 2: comfort zone and try, it's not as scary, you know,

561
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 2: as what you women sometimes have convinced themselves.

562
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: I somewhat feel like there may be two separate matters.

563
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: So can I want a massage right now?

564
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 1: That the thought, I know, where's the I don't know

565
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: it's the sweet with the massage. I do feel like

566
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: they are kind of two separate things. But I feel

567
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: like in the end, to have a really good relationship

568
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 1: you have to have both. You have to have the

569
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: physical and the emotional intimacy. And I feel like like

570
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: a woman that says I crave touch, but I don't

571
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: want to have sex with a man. There are great alternatives,

572
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: like you said, like a massage or having Like I

573
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 1: love having my feet rubbed. It feels so good. It's

574
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: it like it like brings me down to like another level.

575
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: Like if I'm having a bad day or whatever, I

576
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: get a foot massage, I'm happy for a week.

577
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to say that all of this talk

578
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 2: has made me want to get back in the saddle.

579
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: Like in the next ten minute saddle you're calling it

580
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: the saddle. Well, no, I've just finish that that thought

581
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: a little bit because I feel like otherwise you just

582
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: have a friend and nothing.

583
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 2: You know that there's anything wrong. It's a friend with benefits.

584
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 2: You ever heard of it?

585
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm thinking about a friend without benefits. So like,

586
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: let's say you were in a relationship with a person

587
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 1: and the man really wants to have sex and you

588
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: really don't. Well, that guy's you a friend now, and

589
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 1: he's going to consider you just a friend.

590
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 2: We've covered a lot of topics here, you like talking

591
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 2: about sex toys.

592
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: Now we're going I know where you're going with this.

593
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 2: Sixty nine First, before we get into it, no pun

594
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 2: intended is sixty nine. When you hear that and we're

595
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 2: sexually talking about sixty nine, do you think of one

596
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 2: on top of the other or side by side? I've

597
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 2: I literally have been taking a poll in the last month.

598
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: I know, and we talked about this yesterday, which is

599
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. And I think it's one on top

600
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: of the other, but I don't know. So then let

601
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: me just say, hold on, wait, it's side. It's got

602
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: to be side by side because it's sixty nine. If

603
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 1: it's on top, then it's eleven, And it's not called eleven.

604
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: It just depends on your point of view.

605
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: It is not called eleven. It is called your.

606
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: Point of you. Side by side is eleven to me?

607
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: Side by side one one, that's sixteen.

608
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: Clearly you've never partaken if you just said that, girlfriend.

609
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: By the way, I have never partaken in it.

610
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 2: Well, oh, there's a news flash.

611
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna please do not make that the headline. I

612
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 1: sound like a really big crude and I'm really not.

613
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 2: I don't. But here's the thing I had never ever

614
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 2: to me sixty nine. I mean I literally had to

615
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 2: draw a graphic for someone like they didn't get it.

616
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: They didn't get it. Oh, I get it, I understand

617
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: how So then.

618
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 2: They go, no, it's one on top of you, and

619
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 2: I went, that's eleven. No it's not.

620
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 1: Side by side's eleven? What on top is a sixueting?

621
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 2: You know what? We got to wrap this up because

622
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 2: I need to go draw you a diagram.

623
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 1: I know how it works. I know how it works. Okay,

624
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: I think I think that.

625
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 2: Do you think that's an intimate act?

626
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: Oh, Gosha like probably one of the most yeah, I

627
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: think for me. And we had this conversation requires way

628
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: too much concentration to be doing and receiving at the

629
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: same time. Is just a lot?

630
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 2: Oh you mean two finishes at the same time?

631
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: Can connect finish, connect the neck, connect down the stretch?

632
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I don't know, but this whole conversation's made

633
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: me very horny John, So I got wow.

634
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: And we're in a room of mostly women here one

635
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: guy's married.

636
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: Okay, enough of this silliness. Listen, are you getting back

637
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: in the saddle? There's that word again? But feeling nervous

638
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: and need advice? Call us or email us. All the

639
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 2: info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials.

640
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 2: Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do

641
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is

642
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: the main objective, right,