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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Keyon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host and we've got great stories coming right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show alive. My boyfriend

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Speaker 2: bonded with his best friend's widow, and now I feel replaced,

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Speaker 2: rest in peace. My boyfriend Jake had a best friend, Tom,

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Speaker 2: who married a woman named Amy. Jake and Tom were

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Speaker 2: best friends for a very long time. Jake says he

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Speaker 2: was friends with Amy for years too, but he met

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Speaker 2: her through Tom. As far as I know, he only

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Speaker 2: ever hung out with her when Tom was there too.

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Speaker 2: They did not spend time one on one before. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from particular post two three five,

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Speaker 2: And if you want to spend your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime suppared it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia and I'm Vincent, and we're here to give

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Speaker 3: good advice.

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Speaker 2: Goofley, But we don't have all the answers. We only

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Speaker 2: know what we'd do, So let us know what you

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Speaker 2: would do in the comments, and Op says sadly, Tom

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Speaker 2: passed away in an accident a few weeks ago. It

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Speaker 2: was really awful and it has obviously been super hard

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Speaker 2: on Jake. I've been trying to support him while he

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Speaker 2: goes through this. But ever since it happened, Jake's been

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Speaker 2: spending a lot of time with Amy. Seems like we

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Speaker 2: might be getting some trauma bunding here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to see that. No, no, it doesn't

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Speaker 3: look good.

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Speaker 2: He keeps telling me it's because he's Tom's family and

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Speaker 2: he asks to be there. He has to kiss Tom's

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Speaker 2: wife for Tom. You don't understand.

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Speaker 3: I understand. That's what I do all of my funerals. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I always kiss my friends.

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Speaker 2: I kiss all of my friends wives.

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Speaker 3: My friend's wives, and then.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've already kissed my friends, but they're gone now,

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Speaker 2: so I have to kiss their wives to kiss now.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's just natural. But they've been seeing each

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Speaker 2: other every day. He's been doing things like picking her up,

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Speaker 2: driving her places, going to appointments with her. It started

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Speaker 2: to feel excessive. I told him I was not comfortable

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Speaker 2: with how much he was over there, and we argued

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Speaker 2: about it. He finally said he's just helping get things

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Speaker 2: organized for the funeral and things would go back to

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Speaker 2: normal after that. Well, Tom's funeral came and Amy was

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Speaker 2: obviously having a really hard time, so Jake drove her

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Speaker 2: home afterwards. For the record, Tom and Amy both have

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Speaker 2: tons of relatives there who could have driven her instead,

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Speaker 2: but Jake ended up doing it. I did not complain

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Speaker 2: because it was the day of the funeral and I

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Speaker 2: did have my own car there. But then he stayed

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Speaker 2: over there for hours and was not picking up his

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Speaker 2: phone or answering his texts.

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Speaker 3: That's a big no no, that's big red flag behavior.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if Op's partner wanted to offer, you know, company

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Speaker 2: and comfort, I feel like he could have done it

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Speaker 2: with Opie.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to be a group effort. Yeah. And also, yes,

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Speaker 3: you're taking care of your friend's wife who's grieving. But

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Speaker 3: also your partner takes priority in a relationship. And if

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Speaker 3: your partner says, hey, this makes me uncomfortable, I gotta

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Speaker 3: listen to it.

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Speaker 2: It's done, you're done, it's over. Finally, he called me

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Speaker 2: back around nine pm to say that Amy was in

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Speaker 2: a really bad place and he was going to sleep

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Speaker 2: over there. This made me really uncomfortable, and I told

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Speaker 2: him so. We ended up getting into a fight about it.

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Speaker 2: He said he owed it to Tom to take care

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Speaker 2: of Amy. I said, I understood that he was traumatized

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Speaker 2: from seeing his best friend pass away, but that did

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Speaker 2: not mean he could do whatever he wanted with Amy,

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Speaker 2: and I was supposed to not be upset about it.

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Speaker 2: He hung up on me and has hardly answered any

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Speaker 2: of my messages since. Am I being crazy? I know

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Speaker 2: he's going through something really hard and I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: be there for him, but he's not really letting me

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Speaker 2: be there because he's too busy spending time with Amy.

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Speaker 2: Does him grieving mean he gets to do whatever he

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Speaker 2: wants with another woman and I'm supposed to not say

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Speaker 2: anything about it. Am I the a whole? And there

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Speaker 2: is an update? But what do you think?

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Speaker 3: I don't think you're the a whole at all. I

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Speaker 3: think you have valid concerns. Also, she has family, she

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Speaker 3: has his family, assuming so, but you're you're his partner

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Speaker 3: in the relationship. He should be spending time with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think, I mean, I'm sure Ope just

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Speaker 2: wants him to seek comfort from her, because I feel

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Speaker 2: like that is common in a relationship, that you seek

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Speaker 2: comfort from your partner. And it seems like maybe in

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Speaker 2: his mind he's thinking, oh, Tom's partner is the only

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Speaker 2: person who can understand my grief, and I'm the only

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Speaker 2: person who can understand her grief, and so I have

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Speaker 2: to be there, which is you know, I'm just guessing here, but.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I understand Ope wanting to be like I

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Speaker 3: want you to come to me or support, because he's

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Speaker 3: kind of denying you that ability to do that opportunity

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Speaker 3: for connection with your partner. That's tough, very tough.

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Speaker 2: But there is an update editing to add these details

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Speaker 2: since some people asked. I have been with Jake almost

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Speaker 2: two years. He's my boyfriend, not my husband. He has

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Speaker 2: known Tom and Amy longer than me. Also, Jake was

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Speaker 2: with Tom the day he passed away.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, that's devastating. Now I'm stein feel bad for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, now I feel bad, which is part of what

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Speaker 2: is so hard on him. I do not know if

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Speaker 2: Jake was there the moment it happened, or how much

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Speaker 2: he saw. He has not wanted to talk about it,

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Speaker 2: and that's a super hard thing to talk about to anyone.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think he needs therapy most of all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, at least grief counseling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because just witnessing that or even I don't know,

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Speaker 2: being there on the last day is yeah, traumatizing. Update two.

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Speaker 2: Jake came home from Amy's and was pretty cold and

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Speaker 2: quiet with me, but eventually I asked him if I

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Speaker 2: could go over with him to Amy's next time and help,

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Speaker 2: which I think is a great idea. Yeah, because it

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Speaker 2: still allows him to be there for Amy, but it

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Speaker 2: also kind of gets rid of a lot of Ope's

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Speaker 2: concerns about how much they're hanging out and what they're doing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it allows you to be there op to

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Speaker 3: be there for him as well.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He said no, he did not want me there if

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Speaker 2: I was just gonna be jealous and make horrible accusations,

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Speaker 2: because he didn't have the energy to deal with that

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Speaker 2: right now, and he didn't want Amy to have to

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Speaker 2: deal with that either. This really freaked me out, but

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Speaker 2: I tried to stay calm this time and said I

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Speaker 2: was sorry for starting a fight about that, but I

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Speaker 2: get scared when he stopped talking to me. I said

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Speaker 2: I should not have made it all about me, and

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Speaker 2: that if there was anything I could do to support

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Speaker 2: him better right now, I would try my best, including

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Speaker 2: helping Amy. He actually calmed down pretty fast once I

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Speaker 2: settle that, so that was good. Advice. He finally apologized

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Speaker 2: for being bad at responding this week. He said he

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Speaker 2: was just feeling really stressed with everything going on and

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Speaker 2: sometimes felt he could not handle talking, especially when our

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Speaker 2: conversations were getting stressful, which makes a lot of sense.

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Speaker 2: He also told me that when he was at Amy's

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Speaker 2: he just slept on the couch. Apparently she was having

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Speaker 2: a bit of a meltdown after the funeral and told

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Speaker 2: them she was scared of being alone in the house

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Speaker 2: that night, and he didn't want to leave when she

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Speaker 2: was breaking down like that. He said he used to

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Speaker 2: sleep over on the couch at Tom and Amy's a

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Speaker 2: lot when they were younger. I didn't know that, so

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Speaker 2: it didn't seem like a big deal to him. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if this is good reasoning, but that's what

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Speaker 2: he said. He also said he hung up on me

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Speaker 2: because he could not handle more arguing on top of everything,

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Speaker 2: and because it really upset him that I would think

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Speaker 2: he could ever do that to me and Tom, which

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Speaker 2: I get. If there really is nothing going on, then

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Speaker 2: it would be pretty upsetting. After we talked it all through,

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Speaker 2: he said it would probably be good for Amy to

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Speaker 2: have more people around. If I really wanted to help.

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Speaker 2: He suggested I could help him cook something for her

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Speaker 2: and we could bring it over to eat with her together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, okay, okay, I'm not crazy.

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Speaker 2: You're not crazy. This is so sweet. I like that.

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Speaker 2: It seems like op had I don't know, listen to

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Speaker 2: the reddit comments that were probably saying.

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Speaker 3: Hey communicate, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Which usually the reddit com and say hey communicate and

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Speaker 2: the op's like, I can't hear you. I don't what communicate.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's a word. But this time Opie

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Speaker 2: said communicate. I know how to do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and nailed it. And it sounds like their partner listened. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: which is a sign of a caring partner, So thumbs

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Speaker 3: up for me. Like with the updates, it sounds like

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Speaker 3: everything's cool. H And it would be really weird if

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Speaker 3: he were to do something with her after his.

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Speaker 2: Right after his friends here, that would be pretty crazy.

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Speaker 3: That would be nuts.

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Speaker 2: So we are going to do something like that this week.

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Speaker 2: In the end, I decided not to ask him any

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Speaker 2: questions about cheating right now. Things felt a lot better

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Speaker 2: after that conversation, and I didn't think it would help

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Speaker 2: to start another fight. But I will not lie I'm

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Speaker 2: still feeling weird about the night he spent over there,

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Speaker 2: especially with everyone's stories about trauma bonding and all that.

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Speaker 3: You know, I think after that conversation, after communicating, everything

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Speaker 3: sounds like pretty okay. I I understand like him wanting

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Speaker 3: to be there for a friend, especially if he knew

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Speaker 3: them before. Ope. I know I've had to do that

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Speaker 3: for friends going through hard times and sometimes just being

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Speaker 3: alone isn't what they need to be. And sometimes that

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Speaker 3: also doesn't mean anything nefarious is happening.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it is a valid thing. I

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Speaker 2: don't know, it's a valid thing to be concerned about. Absolutely, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but maybe it's just going forward and instead of accusing,

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Speaker 2: it's just saying, hey, I'm feeling insecure about this this

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Speaker 2: like it, Like I just feel I don't know, anxious

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Speaker 2: and could could I help? Could I join you guys,

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Speaker 2: just so I don't even have to worry about anything

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Speaker 2: and I can help you, like in this time of need.

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Speaker 2: I guess.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, taking the language away from accusatory that you did

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Speaker 3: this to stating like this is what I'm feeling. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is how I would like to help and not

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Speaker 3: feel like this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad that he wants me to come

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Speaker 2: over with him and hang out with Amy, though I

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Speaker 2: really hope that means there is not actually anything to hide,

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Speaker 2: but I guess we'll see. Still open to advice or

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Speaker 2: thoughts on whether I am doing the right thing here

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Speaker 2: or red flags I should be watching for if anyone

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Speaker 2: has it. I have never had to grieve anyone that

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Speaker 2: close to me, so I don't really know how to

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Speaker 2: handle the situation in a relationship or what is normal

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Speaker 2: or appropriate. And that is the end of that story. Truthfully,

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Speaker 2: I don't think there is any normal when you're grieving someone.

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Speaker 2: Everyone reacts differently, and I think that just offering your

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Speaker 2: boyfriend an open space to share his feelings and not

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Speaker 2: feel attacked, even if you are dealing with those anxieties,

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Speaker 2: will lead to more connection.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're going

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Speaker 5: to go to the next one.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend's mother controls everything, including our relationship. Maybe you

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Speaker 3: should date her so for context, We've been dating for

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Speaker 3: almost a half a year now. He's my first true

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Speaker 3: love and he says I'm his first true love too.

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Speaker 3: We have both already talked about marriage, and we both

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Speaker 3: want marriage with each other thing. By the way, this

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Speaker 3: comes from username lyrikste have you want to submit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to our Okay story time subreddit. I'm

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Speaker 3: vincent and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, But

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Speaker 3: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

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Speaker 3: we would do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 3: do in the comments. We want a family together. Wow.

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Speaker 3: And we have a very serious and committed relationship. And

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Speaker 3: we both are aware of this and this is what

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Speaker 3: we both want with each other. He's everything I ever

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Speaker 3: wanted in a relationship. He's kind, treats me well, everything,

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Speaker 3: But there's one issue I cannot shake off. That's two

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Speaker 3: things you wanted in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: Kind He treats me well.

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Speaker 3: That's like the base two.

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Speaker 2: Yeah those are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's kind of I would hope so, but there's

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Speaker 3: one issue I cannot shake off. He's a mama's boy.

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Speaker 3: Oh not just any mama's boy, but like he wants

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Speaker 3: to live the rest of his life with her. Type

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Speaker 3: of mama's boy, the type that tells his mom everything,

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Speaker 3: even confidential things I tell him. He needs his mom

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Speaker 3: mom's advice for everything. He even once told me that

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Speaker 3: I talked to my mom and she said, you can

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Speaker 3: move in with us, but you have to pay your

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Speaker 3: part of the bills.

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Speaker 2: I talked to my mom and she said, you can

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Speaker 2: sleep over, but you have to ask your mom.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it sounds like it sounds like this son is

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Speaker 3: a bit.

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Speaker 2: Of it sounds like he's more than a bit of

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Speaker 2: a MoMA's boy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, more than a bit of his mom boy, and

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Speaker 3: a bit of like I'm trying to find the word

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Speaker 3: for it. Yeah, it's like a little bit that. But

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Speaker 3: also they've been coddled, They've uh, they're very Ah, I'm

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Speaker 3: just gonna eat me up. It's like a we'll come

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Speaker 3: back to it. Yeah, we'll come back. You'll find it,

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Speaker 3: I'll find it. Shouldn't it be common sense you will

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Speaker 3: live with your significant other once married and stuff, which, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I get, you can love your mom. But it's to

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Speaker 3: the point where when he tries to tell me stuff,

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Speaker 3: you will say other than my mom. At the end,

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Speaker 3: I need examples. Yeah what does that mean?

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Speaker 2: He's like, well, you know, I don't even know what

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Speaker 2: he's saying.

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Speaker 3: How yeah, example, oh, perfect, by example. He once told

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Speaker 3: me you're always my favorite person. No, I see where

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Speaker 3: this is going. And I will always love you, but

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Speaker 3: not as much as my mom. What what?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 3: And I just feel like the little comments he makes

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Speaker 3: like that are super unnecessary because they are. Last night,

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Speaker 3: he was pretty upset about some stuff, so he went

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Speaker 3: to talk to his mom. I texted him if everything

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Speaker 3: was okay and told him if he ever needs anything,

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Speaker 3: and me and his mom will always be there for him.

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Speaker 3: Then he replied with I don't want people taking care

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Speaker 3: of me other than my mom.

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Speaker 2: What bro, We got to get out of here. Either

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Speaker 2: this man is seventeen and has never been outside of

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Speaker 2: his house, or this is really really concerning.

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Speaker 3: This is an incredibly prettyture behavior. Yeah, and you're gonna

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Speaker 3: end up being his mom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and yeah, he's just gonna have two moms.

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Speaker 3: And I already kind of talked to my mom and

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Speaker 3: she is the only one that can understand. So it's

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Speaker 3: okay now, which left me feeling odd, which I get. Yes,

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Speaker 3: a mother and son's bond is special, but I felt invalidated.

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Speaker 3: This is a little bit extra special. But I felt

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Speaker 3: invalidated and a little hurt that he doesn't want me

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Speaker 3: being there for him or anything. I tried to sleep

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Speaker 3: it off, but I couldn't. I was just hoping I

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Speaker 3: misunderstood or something, and that he actually wants me to

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Speaker 3: be there for him and let me love him and

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Speaker 3: take care of him like a normal relationship. But then

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Speaker 3: today I felt like I had to tell him how

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Speaker 3: I felt, so I sent him a simple text explaining

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Speaker 3: how I felt. I told him something he said the

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Speaker 3: other day upset me, and he asked to know, so

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Speaker 3: I told him how I felt, how I felt like

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Speaker 3: everything I did to be there for him went unappreciated

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00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,880
Speaker 3: and that it meant nothing for him, And he sent

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Speaker 3: a pretty nasty reply back saying he doesn't want anyone

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Speaker 3: there for him but his mom.

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Speaker 2: Dude, you're gonna wind up alone with your mom. Don't worry.

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Speaker 2: No one's going to be there for you but your mom, and.

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Speaker 3: That I need to learn to focus on myself instead

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Speaker 3: because I need help. And he said we weren't married,

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Speaker 3: so I don't need to know everything in his life, Like, yes,

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Speaker 3: I know we aren't actually married, but I just feel like,

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Speaker 3: if we have to have a serious and committed relationship

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Speaker 3: and we plan on getting married, shouldn't we be getting

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Speaker 3: prepared for that life together? Was it necessary to be

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Speaker 3: that rude. No, I know. I feel like in a relationship,

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Speaker 3: you should be there for each other. I can't be

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Speaker 3: his only emotional support, yes, but I feel like I

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Speaker 3: should at least be an emotional support. I feel like

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Speaker 3: you guys not being married, this is like your cue

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Speaker 3: to get out you're not married. Also, you don't need

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Speaker 3: to be there.

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Speaker 2: No, it's so good that you guys are not married.

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Speaker 2: And also it seems like you're pretty young. You'll bounce back.

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Speaker 2: You'll find someone who's not in love with his mom,

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Speaker 2: and then everything will be better.

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Speaker 3: The world is big and life is long.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm. The world don't revolve around his mom.

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Speaker 3: Ooh bars as a team effort like it. I felt

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Speaker 3: very hurt and right now I just don't know what

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Speaker 3: to say or do to him.

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Speaker 2: Break up. I want to break up.

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00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't want to leave him because everything else

337
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 3: in our relationship is perfect.

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00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 2: Courly, what part of your relationship is perfect?

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Speaker 3: The two parts that you said were perfect are he's

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00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 3: now gone against Yeah, treats you nice.

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Speaker 2: Heat he does not treat you nice.

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Speaker 3: I forgot the first one. That's one thing, and that

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00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 3: is driving me insane. And don't get me wrong, his

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00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,679
Speaker 3: mom isn't rude. She's nice to me, but she says

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Speaker 3: and acts like a mama's boy's mom, making me feel

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Speaker 3: like that's why he's the way he is. Yeah, it

347
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,720
Speaker 3: is holding his hand in public. He sleeps with her

348
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 3: at times, this Game of Thrones, this is Game of Thrones,

349
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,760
Speaker 3: makes little jokes around me like he's mine and laughing

350
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 3: it off. It doesn't sit right with me. He's making

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Speaker 3: me feel like the bad guy, and I just don't

352
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 3: know if I'm in the wrong or right for feeling

353
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Speaker 3: this way. I also really don't know what to do.

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00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,000
Speaker 3: There is an update.

355
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Speaker 2: I know what to do, break up.

356
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:59,640
Speaker 3: It's pretty obvious update. I chickened out on doing anything

357
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Speaker 3: about it. I apologize for what I said and moved on.

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Speaker 3: I can't risk losing him, nor do I want to

359
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 3: break up with him, as much as I don't want

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00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 3: to live a life like this. It's your one life, Opie.

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Speaker 2: You only got one life. Don't waste on this guy.

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00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 3: Don't compromise it for a dude.

363
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, guys, don't waste more than five months on bad people.

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Speaker 3: That's a good that's five month, you know what?

365
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 2: Like, you can't really tell usually right away by five

366
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Speaker 2: month mark.

367
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Speaker 3: You get a pretty good sense of appreciation.

368
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't waste your time on Yeah.

369
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 3: I feel stuck and trapped, like I can't do anything

370
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 3: about it. But the thing is, I know I can't. Good,

371
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 3: you can't. Yes, I just need to plan this out

372
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,680
Speaker 3: because I can't live like this forever. Update number two,

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, I'm having another talk with him about how

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Speaker 3: I feel like he's been acting so odd today and

375
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 3: now he's saying he fel feels like an emotional support

376
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 3: person instead of my partner, and now he feels forced

377
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 3: into this relationship. He's moving in the direction we are. Yep,

378
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 3: I'm starting to feel like I might be the A hole.

379
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 3: I can't stop panicking. Opy opy opy. Update number three,

380
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 3: so many updates. I asked to have a serious talk

381
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Speaker 3: with him. He's been working, so he's been too busy too,

382
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 3: but we found time for tomorrow. I'm nervous, but since

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Speaker 3: update two, I've been working on my mental health and

384
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 3: trying to cope and expect the worst. I mean, the

385
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 3: worst is you guys break up, Yeah, and you have

386
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Speaker 3: your whole life out of you.

387
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's literally the worst.

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00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 3: Update four. A friend of his told me he's planning

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Speaker 3: to break up with me today.

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00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 2: Okay, little Paul Revere over here.

391
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 3: She gave me the receipts of the screenshots and everything,

392
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 3: and she's been amazing, sick. I'm gonna end up doing

393
00:20:59,000 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 3: it first.

394
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, nice would be serious. I'm not letting you can't

395
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 2: break up with me. I break up with you.

396
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 3: And bring up with you. I talked to her about

397
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Speaker 3: if she noticed he's being a MoMA's boy too, and

398
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: she said one hundred percent. She has eyes and that

399
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 3: she knows more about how he is with his mom

400
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 3: than I do, which concerns me a bit. Does that

401
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 3: mean I want to know what? Yeah, her friend knows

402
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 3: that you don't.

403
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean for her to be like, there's even more,

404
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 2: I'd be like, sorry what she's been.

405
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, you think that's the worst of it.

406
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: She's like like flashbacks, You've got no idea like.

407
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 3: Vietnam, there's like helicopter.

408
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no, she's they come back to me, come

409
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: back to me.

410
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 3: Update five. We are now broken up. Yes, he wants

411
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 3: to keep a positive relationship between us, and he'll try,

412
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 3: and I'll try, but I'm hurting. But at the same time,

413
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 3: I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.

414
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. Man, the cross is off of you.

415
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 3: Three flat like a bird.

416
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

417
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 3: Update number six. I'm friends with his ex he always

418
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 3: talked about. She told me his mom walks in his

419
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 3: room unclothed.

420
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Speaker 2: What I'm genuinely concerned.

421
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 3: She told me she left him because of how he

422
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 3: was treating her, and I'm honestly so proud of her.

423
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,199
Speaker 3: I wish I had her courage. She's seriously amazing. You

424
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 3: do have her crew, you got out. You guys are done,

425
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 3: and you broke up first.

426
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Speaker 2: You broke up first, man, good job, you have courage.

427
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Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 5: to the next one.

429
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Speaker 2: My fiance's parents criticized everything about me, and he says nothing.

430
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Speaker 3: Someone's being a critical Kathy.

431
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 2: I'm twenty one mail and my fiance, twenty mail are

432
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: in a tedious situation. Here's some background info. By the way,

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00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 2: this comes from Human Confidence sixteen thirty two. And if

434
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 2: you want to spit your own stories, go to the

435
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 2: r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm vincent,

436
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 2: and we're here to get good advice. Goofy. But we

437
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

438
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do in the comments,

439
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 2: and op says. Me and my fiance met in high

440
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 2: school when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore.

441
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 2: We started dating after the second year of knowing each

442
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 2: other going into the VID, he had asked me out

443
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 2: and confessed his feelings for me on Instagram. Since then,

444
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: it's been rocky, not because we fell out of love,

445
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: but because his parents have been stepping in. I have

446
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 2: been trying to bond with his parents more, but only recently.

447
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 2: Most of the time we communicate is via texting, on

448
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 2: Facebook or regular messages, and at first they were pretty

449
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 2: short and vague towards me. They gave short answer responses

450
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: that didn't seem impressed or interested in communicating. I had

451
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: asked his mom about it and she said she just

452
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 2: doesn't get involved with their children's relationships, which I found interesting.

453
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 2: A year into our relationship with his parents not knowing,

454
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 2: my fiance invited me to attend our state fair. It

455
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: opens in the summer and runs through early fall. We

456
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: went with his mom, his little brother, and his little

457
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 2: brother's two friends. We had lots of fun, went on rides,

458
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 2: ate food together, even kissed at the ferris wheel at

459
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 2: the very top.

460
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 3: Oh how romancic.

461
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 2: But it all came crashing down when we had to

462
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 2: get back to the group. I had held his hand

463
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 2: on her way off the ferris wheel, and his mother

464
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 2: saw and pulled him over and was berating him. To

465
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 2: this day, he does not remember her exact words, just

466
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: that she didn't want me with him. They ditched me

467
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: at the fair by going to the speedway, and I

468
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 2: couldn't go with mind you. I was left behind by myself,

469
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,199
Speaker 2: with no way to get home, with a bunch of

470
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: strangers who could easily you have kidnapped me or worse.

471
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: I had to ask someone's permission to use their phone

472
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 2: and call my mom while still bawling my eyes out.

473
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 2: She picked me up and I got home. I told

474
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: my mom everything, and she was immediately disgusted by the

475
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 2: action his mother had taken. I just don't understand why

476
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 2: this mom would be fine with her son bringing Ope

477
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 2: as like a friend to the you know, fair and.

478
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 3: Then abandoning you. Yeah, that's crazy, that's and like also,

479
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to I don't want to get involved

480
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 3: with my son's relationships. A year later, you guys, also,

481
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 3: why does it have to be secret? I don't what's

482
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 3: going on with the boyfriend? I can't tell. They can't

483
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: tell his mom.

484
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was not able to contact him

485
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 2: for months. He reached out after getting his phone and apologized,

486
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 2: and I told him it wasn't his fault. We returned

487
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 2: to a relationship again in secret. Why is your his

488
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 2: mom so against this? Fast forward another year and his

489
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 2: mom finds out and takes his phone, so he can't

490
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: contact me. So what does my fiance do? He walks

491
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: almost six Beyonce Beyonce, Now, yeah, that's the first time

492
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 2: that was mentioned. Yeah, look at you guys.

493
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 5: Go.

494
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 2: My mom offered to have my fiance stay the night

495
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: and take him back in the morning, but she had

496
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 2: called his mom in advance. She obviously was against this

497
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: and told my fiance to get a ride home, and

498
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 2: now my brother was there. So luckily it worked out

499
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,919
Speaker 2: and he got home, but he was not able to

500
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 2: contact me for another few months. He reached out again,

501
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 2: and we were around nineteen and eighteen. At this time, Wow,

502
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 2: I had moved to a town nearby to escape my

503
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: biological family who were awful to me. I lived with

504
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 2: my older sibling and their then a husband and a

505
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 2: husband's father. My fiance had told me he was in

506
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 2: a manipulative and toxic relationship with someone and needed advice.

507
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 2: Interesting move to to ask your ex for advice. I

508
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 2: told him that I would stand for the behavior and

509
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 2: that he should leave the person for his own safety

510
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 2: and find someone who appreciated him, which I genuinely meant.

511
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 2: He ended up leaving him and yet again asked me out.

512
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: I said, yes, okay, he's like, hey, can you help

513
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 2: me get out of this relationship because I want to

514
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 2: date you? If he's like, I'm on it. When we

515
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 2: got back together the next year, made me twenty and

516
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: him nineteen, we decided for the summer we would go

517
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 2: to the state Fair. Nah, the same.

518
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 3: Again. If this ends at the speedway.

519
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, all things and all roads lead to the speedball.

520
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 3: All roads lea.

521
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 2: Because there's not much else to do in my town

522
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: besides burger joints and parks. We found a cute custom

523
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: ring vendor where we got our engagement bands. They had

524
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 2: the ring of the opposing person on their finger. Fast

525
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 2: forward to November to December twenty twenty four. My fiance

526
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: confessed his parents said he was dating me, not engaged.

527
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 2: They were less strict about it and invited me over

528
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 2: for dinner not too long after. I accepted, but they

529
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 2: didn't talk to me much. They just sat on the

530
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: couch watching TV while my fiance and I ate burgers

531
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: at the table, laughing amongst ourselves. Okay, so it seems

532
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 2: like now they have somewhat come to terms with this.

533
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 3: It sounds like they're starting to round the corner. Yeah,

534
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 3: which is good. It sounds like there's still maybe some

535
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 3: work to do. Yeah on their point. But hey, you're

536
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 3: eating with them, you're.

537
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 2: Breaking Yeah, they're they're not abandoning you at the fair. Yeah,

538
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 2: that's an improvement.

539
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 3: Yes.

540
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: In late February twenty twenty five, I was forced to

541
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: move out of the place I had been and went

542
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 2: back to my hometown. I stayed at a childhood best

543
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 2: friend's house and worked a retail job to pay for

544
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 2: rent and food. I've been here ever since. Now we're

545
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 2: at the apartment situation. I placed a worm in my

546
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 2: fiance's brain, telling them I want to get their own

547
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: place together. We have been dating for four years, are engaged,

548
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 2: and we want to build a life together. He agreed,

549
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: and we started looking at apartments. It just so happened

550
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 2: that the same child a friend's house I had been

551
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 2: staying at, was looking for a new apartment roommate. The

552
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: house I am at is their mother's. The roommate was

553
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: moving out and they needed another person or person's. My

554
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: fiance and I happily went over and discussed rent, utilities, animals,

555
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: bedroom size, rules, expectations, chores, and boundaries. Between mid October

556
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 2: and now, we were convinced it would be perfect since

557
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 2: all the people in the apartment were people we had

558
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: known since high school, it was close to both my

559
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 2: and my fiance's jobs, and it was a very quaint

560
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: and quiet area with safety features and good experiences from

561
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 2: previous tenants. My fiance and I were pleased with everything,

562
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: and I started packing right away and signing the application

563
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 2: form with him. My fiance told his parents about his

564
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: interest in moving out, which they were vas unhappy about.

565
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: They scolded him, telling him he isn't responsible or mature

566
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: enough to be moving out and needed to stay. My

567
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 2: fiance has some mental issues that he needs to see

568
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: a psychiatrist for, which he said he's willing to do.

569
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 2: He often has trouble understanding what people say and needs

570
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 2: to hear it again for it to click, and may

571
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: ask them to repeat themselves. That just like auditory processing

572
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 2: or does he have like actual hearing issues.

573
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

574
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 2: He also blanks for minutes trying to think of answers

575
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: to questions from people, and gets frustrated himself when he

576
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: can't answer. He also has poor time management, which makes

577
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 2: him late to his job, which his parents' own. It

578
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: does sound like he has ADHD. Okay, sounds like maybe

579
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: have more severe ADHD, but it does sound like ADHD.

580
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: I mean, it sucks that you gotta work with this family.

581
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 3: Yeah that it sounds like you might be working with

582
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 3: some but it's sounds like things are moving forward in

583
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: a good direction.

584
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like his parents have always been kind

585
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: of control. But I think you can't really, you know,

586
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: go talk back to his parents, but you can't support

587
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 2: him and encourage him and say, hey, I know your

588
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,479
Speaker 2: parents are saying that you're not ready, but I you know,

589
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 2: I believe in you. I think that you are.

590
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I also wonder if it's like the parents

591
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: feel like they're caretakers sort of thing, especially if Yeah,

592
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 3: it's kind of yeah, yeah, and like they feel like

593
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 3: caretakers and then letting go of that caretaking if they

594
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 3: might be nervous about that, So maybe it might be

595
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 3: a scary conversation that I don't know if they don't

596
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 3: if they want to have or not. But just like, hey, like,

597
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 3: what are you guys worried about? How can I take

598
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 3: over this caretaker role? Yeah? That's a thing.

599
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think even having your boyfriend say or

600
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 2: your fiance now talk to his parents and say, I

601
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: recognize that you just care about me, you just want

602
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: to keep me safe, But I am taking these steps

603
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 2: to ensure that I don't have any issues or that

604
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: I know how to handle those issues when they arise

605
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 2: when I'm living on my own.

606
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, or with my partner. Now, I think that's great.

607
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

608
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: His mother told me that she worries that the people

609
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: we would be living with will eventually be impatient and

610
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: upset with his behavior. However, our friends in the apartment

611
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: have stated they will gladly help them mature and grow

612
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: up with them and offer him the tools he needs

613
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: to grow. Should I risk his parents' relationship with me

614
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 2: by moving into the apartment with him, or should we

615
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: wait until the unlikely chance we get another opportunity like this.

616
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 2: I think, go for it. I think his parents are

617
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: only going to start believing in him and understanding that

618
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 2: he is an adult capable caring for himself when he

619
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: does it.

620
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, the proof is in the puttin Yeah, And I think, yeah,

621
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: I just like show him like, yeah, we're here, we're

622
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,959
Speaker 3: gonna we're gonna take care of each other.

623
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: M hm.

624
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 3: So I think, yeah, go for it.

625
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 2: You got it, you got this.

626
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. We're going to

627
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 5: go to the next one.

628
00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and

629
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 6: we're going to get back to the stories.

630
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

631
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 3: My ex boyfriend ghosted me and he blames me for everything.

632
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: Stay gone, dude.

633
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 3: Me and my ex broke up less than a week ago.

634
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 3: I will call him Darren Darren for this post. It

635
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 3: was very on and off and this time we dated

636
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 3: for six months, but it had been going pretty well,

637
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 3: although we have been arguing. By the way, this comes

638
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,239
Speaker 3: from Majestic Fact two to two two and if you

639
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to our slash

640
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 3: Okay storytime subreddit I'm.

641
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: Vincent, I'm Sophia, and we're here to.

642
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 3: Give good advice. Goofuley, But we don't have all the answers.

643
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 3: We only know what we would do, So let us

644
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments and Opie says,

645
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: he said all the nice words to me, although I

646
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 3: would rather try him with you a million times than

647
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: with anyone else. Stuff. Then when we started arguing a

648
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,479
Speaker 3: bit more or he left for some background, we were

649
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 3: exclusive friends with benefits for seven months after we met.

650
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 2: Exclusive friends with benefits sounds like the most nightmarish situationship

651
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: the most Ever.

652
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 3: How can I be more noncommittal?

653
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: I Okay, we're gonna be exclusive, but you're just my

654
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 2: friends and we are going to have benefits, but you

655
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 2: can't have that with anyone else.

656
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: Just so you know, we're gonna be friends with benefits,

657
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 3: but you're not. You don't see anyone else.

658
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 2: We're not seeing anyone else. And we are not labeling this.

659
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 3: We're not labeled, but we're If you do, that would

660
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 3: really hurt me.

661
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: But you'd be cheating on me.

662
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 3: But we're not cheating because we're not deeply.

663
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not I won't be hurt by it.

664
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: But don't do it, Okay, And that was my choice.

665
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 2: Okay.

666
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: I had just gotten out of a year long relationship

667
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,919
Speaker 3: two months before I met him, so I was very

668
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 3: clear that I did not want anything seriously.

669
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 2: So you just wanted a relationship.

670
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 3: You wanted a you wanted to you were you wanted

671
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:02,760
Speaker 3: a rebound?

672
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, he wanted an exclusive rebound.

673
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 3: We mutually made the exclusive friends with benefits agreement. He

674
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 3: agreed to.

675
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: He said, he said, ok she said give me your

676
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 2: first born, and he's like, wait, I can.

677
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 3: It is a pretty good deal. H This was a

678
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 3: very clear boundary that I had said about neither of

679
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 3: us sleeping with anyone else while we still had that

680
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 3: arrangement because he was my second I told him that

681
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 3: was what I wanted, and if that was not what

682
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 3: he wanted, he had to cut things off. Okay, So

683
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: you put on him to cut things off, but you

684
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 3: also you're offering him like the worst deal late night calls.

685
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess maybe he'd like it.

686
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 3: At a spicy time.

687
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

688
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 3: We had both attempted to cut contact multiple times over

689
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 3: this time period after he caught feelings and started asking

690
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 3: for a relationship.

691
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 2: Have seen that coming.

692
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 3: It's almost like physical connection also breathes an emotional connection. No, never, Oh,

693
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 3: relationships are hard. He always would end up texting me

694
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 3: after to tell me that he did, in fact want

695
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 3: to keep the original agreement.

696
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 2: He's like, I really want a relationship, and she goes no,

697
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 2: and he goes hey. I don't even know why I

698
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 2: said that I would love to be exclusive friends with benefits.

699
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 3: I just had little blood sugar. I needed to eat

700
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 3: a cookie.

701
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 2: But now I realized that I can hide my feelings

702
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 2: for you.

703
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

704
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 2: Again.

705
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 3: He begged for a relationship a couple times over about

706
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 3: five months of those seven last year. So we started

707
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 3: digging at that point because I felt ready before that

708
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 3: he was getting me concert tickets, a guitar, expensive jewelry.

709
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: Boyfriend stuff wrote me almost one hundred individual letters that

710
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 3: scarce me, et cetera.

711
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 2: I need to be writing more letters.

712
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 3: That's not did this this situationship going above and beyond?

713
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: Geez, Louise.

714
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 3: I found out two months into that relationship that during

715
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: our exclusive friends with benefit agreement, he had slept with

716
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 3: someone else while I was on vacation. And not only that,

717
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: but he had lied about it for a total of

718
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 3: about six months.

719
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 2: That's pretty crazy.

720
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 3: Well, telling me I'm prompted that he had been faithful

721
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 3: the entire time since he had met me. I knew

722
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,439
Speaker 3: this was a very hard boundary of mine. I found

723
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 3: out after I started questioning him about that time period

724
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 3: and he attempted to lie while I begged him to

725
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 3: be honest. Get made. They slept with someone else a

726
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 3: day after his parents told him to be honest with me.

727
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 3: Ooh ooh, okay, so his parents, Okay, yeah, I broke

728
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 3: up with him, but.

729
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 1: We know, but.

730
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, before this was doing the friends with benefits

731
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 2: when he cheated. Yes, but now they're in a relationship.

732
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, but now I broke up with him.

733
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 4: Nice.

734
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 3: He was texting me and calling me for maybe just

735
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 3: over two months after that, begging to get back together.

736
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 3: During this time, I was a wreck because after everything,

737
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 3: all the letters and dates and paragraphs and begging, that

738
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 3: was how it turned out. And I was being lied

739
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 3: to pretty much the entire time. I made a mistake

740
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 3: in getting into a relationship with someone else we will

741
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 3: call Barkley. About two months after Darren. Oh no, I

742
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 3: was not happy and this did not make me feel better,

743
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 3: and it is something I deeply regret. It lasted two

744
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 3: months and we were deeply incompatible, so I was already

745
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 3: going to break up with him. I did admittedly go

746
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 3: to Darren's event to have a conversation with him in

747
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 3: person about what happened while I was in this relationlationship. Oo,

748
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 3: sounds like you're gonna go back together. There's only a conversation,

749
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 3: and I left. However, Darren was spam texting me and

750
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 3: calling me for days after I broke up with Barkley

751
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,439
Speaker 3: A couple days later. Me and Darren then got back

752
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 3: together five months after breaking up originally in January. Not Darren,

753
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 3: he promised to do whatever it took to make this

754
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 3: work because he saw marriage with me and all that.

755
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 3: Less than a month into reconnecting, a friend of mine

756
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 3: called to tell me about a rumor she heard about

757
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 3: Darren that he had.

758
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 2: Ah bad. That sounds like he's been going around a lot.

759
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: Then he's got a lot of FWB's, yeah, which because

760
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 3: not even just like, oh, you know you have to

761
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 3: go around a lot to get of course you.

762
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 2: Can get it from like one person.

763
00:39:59,239 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, they've been.

764
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,919
Speaker 2: However, the fact that the rumor is going around that

765
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 2: makes me think that he's got a lot of people

766
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 2: pee bulta. Yeah, he's got a whole little circle.

767
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 3: He's got a circle. Oh. I asked Darren to get tested,

768
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 3: and we both thought it was silly because it was

769
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 3: a rumor. Well it turns out he tested positive and

770
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 3: it was in fact not a rumor.

771
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: Ooh, it's kind of crazy for him not to know that.

772
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 3: I feel like you should.

773
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, which makes me think that he's sleeping with women.

774
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 2: They are testing positive and then they're like, well it

775
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: could have only been Darren.

776
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah that I think that's exactly what happened.

777
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

778
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 3: He swore that he had no idea and liked the

779
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 3: god it two years ago from his ex years ago

780
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 3: who had cheated on him.

781
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 2: You had this or two years dude. We should be

782
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 2: getting SDD tests, Like if you have multiple multiple partners,

783
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 2: you should be doing that, like anytime you are with

784
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 2: a new partner.

785
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah really Yeah.

786
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: Good playing paranoid, dude, it's free.

787
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 3: Ah extually cheam with many different men and was confirmed

788
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 3: to have multiple STDs. Man, He, however, slept with many

789
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 3: women since then.

790
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 2: I also got a bad person, dude. Yeah, that's a

791
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: bad person.

792
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 3: Like a cereal spreader. I also got tested and thankfully

793
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 3: was naggative.

794
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 2: Thank god.

795
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 3: Although I was very upset because I am very careful

796
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: about who I sleep with and have only been with

797
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 3: men I've had a relationship with. Eventually, at least I

798
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 3: decided to forgive this and move on, and this happened

799
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 3: about five months ago. In July, Darren and I had

800
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 3: a final fight where I was at his place and

801
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,399
Speaker 3: he saw a message on my phone from a couple

802
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,919
Speaker 3: of weeks after I broke up with him ten months ago.

803
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 3: Nice I was single, where a random guy sent me

804
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: an art drawing for me. Okay hmm. I asked if

805
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 3: he had drawn it, and the messenger said yes. That

806
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 3: was the entire conversation, and Darren went silent and then

807
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 3: was mad I was talking to someone else when he

808
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 3: was begging for me back. I said I was not,

809
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 3: and it was a four message exchange that never ended

810
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 3: up continuing. Darren then accuse me of cheating on Barkley

811
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 3: with him out of nowhere, which made me start crying,

812
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 3: so I packed my things and left his house. He

813
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 3: said that what he did parentheses when he slept with

814
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 3: someone else and lied about it for half a year

815
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 3: was the same as what I did with Barkley, because,

816
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: according to him, I cheated on Barkley with him. We

817
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 3: barely spoke the next day, which is common for him

818
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 3: because after any sort of disagreement, no matter how minor,

819
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 3: he requires a day of space.

820
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 2: It's crazy.

821
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 3: I asked to know what was going on, and we

822
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 3: broke up over the phone at four a m.

823
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, I'm happy for you.

824
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this. I don't know why he's trying

825
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 3: to attack you after this Barkley stuff.

826
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 2: Truly, this guy is a walking like I don't know, accident, yeah, judge,

827
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 2: like every like he's Murphy's law, you know, everything bad

828
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 2: surrounds him. I think we just like, let's leave him,

829
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 2: let's leave him to his own devices. Yeah, and and

830
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 2: keep the breakup broken up, and then we're good.

831
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 3: Yeah you do you.

832
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,879
Speaker 2: Don't know, and let's let's let's keep that way.

833
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: Big Dub. I had still been heard over what happened,

834
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 3: even though I loved him, and we have been trying

835
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 3: to work through it all together. When it starting getting

836
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,760
Speaker 3: just a bit hard, maybe the last couple of weeks

837
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 3: we had been arguing more. He broke up with me

838
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 3: because quote, he was not the same person and wanted

839
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 3: to be alone.

840
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 2: After begging you to be together. Not that person anymore.

841
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 3: Oh, I'll be alone.

842
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 2: I can't do it anymore. I don't I want to

843
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 2: go back to friends exclusive friends with benefits. Yeah, but

844
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,479
Speaker 2: like I'm alone some of that time.

845
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 3: But also, will you be in a relationship with me?

846
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 2: I'm alone, but you're there there.

847
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: I still miss him, but I am much less sad

848
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 3: than I actually thought I would be. I want to

849
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 3: know where I went wrong here and would appreciate some

850
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 3: advice or guidance from people who have been in a

851
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 3: similar situation. Thanks. Thanks, I don't think you went wrong here.

852
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so either. Yeah, you didn't do

853
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 2: anything wrong in breaking up. Perhaps a little bit misguided

854
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:56,399
Speaker 2: in other areas of the relationship. But now that it's over,

855
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: that's the best thing.

856
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, now you can move forward and you don't have

857
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 3: to deal with this guy overreacting over weird stuff. Strange man,

858
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 3: And also, like, maybe next time, don't do an exclusive

859
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 3: friends with benefits because that kind of sends weird mixing.

860
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, it's just a little comput like if you're

861
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 2: not ready for the relationship, then we're not runny for

862
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 2: the relationship.

863
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all right.

864
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're gonna

865
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 5: go to the next one.

866
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 7: My boyfriend's group said I was no longer invited because

867
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 7: I've played too.

868
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,399
Speaker 2: Well, too good at it.

869
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 7: So I've been playing D and D for about two

870
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 7: years then have had a long string of player characters

871
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 7: that have passed away during the campaign. I think the

872
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 7: count is at six or seven. I genuinely try not

873
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 7: to just put my characters in dangerous situations, but I

874
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 7: often feel like the roles just don't go my way.

875
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from user ecstatic Guard eleven

876
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 7: fifty four, and if you want to submit your own stories,

877
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,440
Speaker 7: go to the r slash Okay story time.

878
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: Stubbured it.

879
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 7: I'm key on, I'm Carly, and we're here to give

880
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 7: good advice. Goofily, but we don't have all the answers.

881
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 7: We only know what we'd do, and let us know

882
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 7: what you'd do in the comments. This Kowala thinks he

883
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 7: knows what he'd do, as Obie says, the first character

884
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 7: was a barbarian and I was going reckless for every attack,

885
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 7: and then the bad guy got some good roles and

886
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 7: just quit me a few times in a row, then

887
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 7: they finished me off during passing saves. Then another one

888
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 7: I decided to try to be a barred got silenced

889
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:28,439
Speaker 7: and immobilized. Then some generic low level guys just came

890
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 7: and beat me up and I was not able to

891
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 7: fight back at all. This one was actually a little

892
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 7: funny at how useless I was in any case. I

893
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 7: know I'm not very good, and we'll often try to

894
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 7: strategize and my groupmates always seem to be on board,

895
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 7: and then the plans just don't pan out at all.

896
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 7: I play for fun and don't particularly mind being bad,

897
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 7: but my friends have been getting progressively more upset at me,

898
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 7: and even saying things like I'm an a hole for

899
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 7: always passing away and wasting their time. I will genuinely

900
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 7: never try to go recklessly into a situation, but it

901
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,240
Speaker 7: feels like no matter what I do, all the aggression

902
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 7: gets focused on me, and then I get overwhelmed. I

903
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 7: have started asking them if I should just leave the

904
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 7: group and let them do their own thing. This would

905
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 7: be sad for me because this was a group of

906
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,320
Speaker 7: close friends and I thought we were having a good time.

907
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 7: It's only been in the last three to four months

908
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 7: that they've started becoming more angry towards me, and I

909
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 7: genuinely don't know why. In any case, all input would

910
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 7: be appreciated, and there may be a perspective I'm not considering.

911
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 7: But am I an a hole for being bad at

912
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 7: D and D we have some comments?

913
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 6: No, no, what, that's the craziest thing to be, Like,

914
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 6: you can't play with those because.

915
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 7: You're not an a whole And I don't if you

916
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 7: were trying to be that the one time you would

917
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,760
Speaker 7: be an a whole if if if if you weren't

918
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 7: really into the game, like if you weren't.

919
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, if they're just Offenia because you're like so born

920
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 6: and being.

921
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 7: Annoying, Yeah, if you're not trying to like play, like

922
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 7: be into the character, which I know a lot of

923
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 7: people are, like that's kind of weird.

924
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 1: That's one thing.

925
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 7: But the fact that you're playing the game, it seems

926
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 7: like you genuinely enjoy it and like are interested in

927
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 7: playing the game. Sure you may do like some reckless

928
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 7: things like run in there, but like that's part of

929
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,760
Speaker 7: the game. This is literally the game, and they're upset

930
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:09,919
Speaker 7: at you for playing the game.

931
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: Crazy.

932
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 7: Some of Opie's comments commentary, and there's some info from

933
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 7: OPI how old are you and other people involved, including

934
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 7: the DM the dungeon master. Opie says apologies Nina posting

935
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 7: on Reddit, I am twenty eight male and my friends

936
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 7: are twenty five male, thirty one male, twenty seven female,

937
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,280
Speaker 7: and thirty three female.

938
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: The Dungeon Master is thirty.

939
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 7: Two female, and she says she is trying to stay

940
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 7: out of it, and then more info. Have you talked

941
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 7: to your DM specifically about why your characters pass away

942
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 7: so frequently? It's really common for players to have a

943
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 7: few PCs that passed away.

944
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,280
Speaker 1: It happens.

945
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 7: Heck, there are even campaigns where the DM will tell

946
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 7: players upfront to make additional characters because there is a

947
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 7: chance of your character passing. But six to seven characters

948
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 7: passing away is a lot, especially if other these are

949
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:05,399
Speaker 7: not passing away. Also, have you tried playing single player

950
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 7: D and D influenced games like Balder's Gate three, While

951
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 7: it's not a complete matchup, DG three or balter Skate three,

952
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 7: helped me understand battle mechanics and character builds much better.

953
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:16,760
Speaker 1: Hope.

954
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 7: He responds with I have tried to get some advice

955
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 7: from my DM, and her response is usually like get good.

956
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 7: I do feel like the odd man out because no

957
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 7: one else has passed away more than once. I think

958
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 7: the first two were my fault because I rushed in,

959
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 7: but I can definitely understand why that would be frustrating

960
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 7: for everyone else.

961
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 1: At the time, I just.

962
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 7: Thought that was my role as of the tank. After that,

963
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 7: I tried focusing on my support characters.

964
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: My barred character was.

965
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 7: In the back for most of the fights and focuses

966
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 7: on buffing everyone. My friends used to laugh with me,

967
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 7: but then it felt like there was all this resentment

968
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 7: towards me. They think I'm trying to make it all

969
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 7: about me because every new character needs a proper intro. Personally,

970
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 7: I would love to have a backstory play out over time.

971
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 7: It just never pans out. I have played Baller's Gate

972
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 7: three and I beat the game on Tactician, but definitely

973
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,760
Speaker 7: not Honor Mode. I just figured the tablesop version had nuances.

974
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 7: The video game doesn't compet, says not. The Ahle D

975
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 7: and D is about having fun with friends. At no

976
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 7: point has any group that I have been a part

977
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,439
Speaker 7: of has ever been upset that someone's character passed away.

978
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: I would be upset if characters passed away from this story, but.

979
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 7: That's not because not because of that, but be like,

980
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 7: I'm a dang that does stuck because you put so

981
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 7: much time and effort into your character building. There are

982
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 7: three explanations I can see for this. One your friends

983
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 7: are jerks. Two, there is something left out of the

984
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 7: story above. You are taking forever to make decisions, Or

985
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 7: you require one hundred percent of the DM's time while

986
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 7: you make a new character which stops the game or

987
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 7: some other social thing that is causing for the game

988
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,280
Speaker 7: to be on fun for the entire group.

989
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: Or three, this is fake slash Ai, which I don't believe.

990
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 5: Hope.

991
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 7: He responds with, they never used to get upset, and

992
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 7: it felt like about three to four months was complete

993
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 7: about face. I try to be quicker with decision making,

994
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 7: but these days I get more anxiety with each of

995
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 7: my turns because I don't want to be wrong. My

996
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 7: friends all have been playing for ten plus years and

997
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 7: I was a new addition. I apologize I should have

998
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,839
Speaker 7: mentioned that above, but it was having a hard time

999
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 7: being succinct. Pop commenter says, not the ale. This sounds

1000
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 7: like a DM issue as much as anything else. Like

1001
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 7: I said, a DM shouldn't be un a living off

1002
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,720
Speaker 7: players so easily. My DM, even when things get dicey,

1003
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 7: they're always trying to throw ways to get out of it.

1004
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,760
Speaker 7: That's what makes a good DM. Also, your teammates should

1005
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 7: have been trying to help you the team game.

1006
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 1: Noobey says.

1007
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 7: There have been a number of times where I felt

1008
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 7: like I could have done with healing or protection when

1009
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 7: someone else got this instead. But I really don't want

1010
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 7: to just be the source of negativity when playing a

1011
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 7: game for fun, so I just let it go.

1012
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, I think I would just play

1013
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 6: my next character so incredibly safe.

1014
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 2: Protection.

1015
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,760
Speaker 6: I'd use it myself. Any healing, I'd use it myself,

1016
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 6: like I would just see if there was some crazy

1017
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 6: way where my character still passes really quickly even though

1018
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 6: I've done like only self preservation.

1019
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,399
Speaker 7: Your friends will try and walk you through it if

1020
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 7: I There was one time I did have a game,

1021
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 7: a campaign where one of the guys was new to it,

1022
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 7: but he did take very long, and he was like, oh,

1023
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 7: I didn't know what to do. And that's the thing.

1024
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 7: When you're finish your turn, you kind of like think

1025
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 7: of what you're gonna be doing next, so.

1026
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:37,359
Speaker 1: I don't know I would.

1027
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 7: I told him like, hey, like that was your first

1028
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 7: time playing. I totally get it, get questions, you get

1029
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 7: quick with it. But I was like, you know, when

1030
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 7: you've done with your turn, you start thinking what you

1031
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 7: want to do your next turn. I know you have

1032
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 7: to read a lot, but like look at like the

1033
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 7: keynotes or make notes for your character what you like

1034
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 7: and what you don't like.

1035
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:55,439
Speaker 1: That helps a lot.

1036
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 7: In regards of talking to the DM of this campaign,

1037
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 7: I haven't spoken to her about her potentially doing more

1038
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 7: to help me out, but I have asked about what

1039
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 7: I could be doing to improve, especially after the others

1040
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 7: started telling me how annoying I am to play with.

1041
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 7: If everyone's telling you you're annoying to play with, I

1042
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 7: would be really upset.

1043
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: I would be like, I don't want to play with us.

1044
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,400
Speaker 5: Back at yourself and say, am I annoying to play with? No?

1045
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 1: I'm fun? No, I'm fun?

1046
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 2: No confidence issues here?

1047
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 3: Guy?

1048
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 7: I do crazy things? Do I do the same thing?

1049
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 7: And am I absurd?

1050
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 1: Yes? Is it part of my character's backstory? Also?

1051
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 3: Yes?

1052
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 7: Did you invite me to play this campaign with you

1053
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 7: and you didn't expect anything less.

1054
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 1: That's your fault.

1055
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 7: I did ask if I should let them just play

1056
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 7: without me, but then they tell me I'm being an

1057
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 7: a hole for trying to make them feel bad.

1058
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 1: Pick a lane, friends.

1059
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 7: I have tried to approach it really calmly and with

1060
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 7: understanding that it can be frustrating to play with someone

1061
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 7: who isn't on their level. As they've put it, Opie

1062
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 7: is voted not the a hole and there is an update.

1063
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 7: Thank you for your insight and support. I decided a

1064
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,319
Speaker 7: few hours ago to reach out to the DM and

1065
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:05,919
Speaker 7: just let her know I'm going to find a new

1066
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,240
Speaker 7: group or to separate myself from this one.

1067
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 1: After a long.

1068
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 7: Conversation, it came out that actually this group was in

1069
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 7: fact doing this as on purpose, and the DM was

1070
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 7: in on it.

1071
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 5: Shocker, shocks, this is exactly there.

1072
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:19,399
Speaker 2: It was obviously no other way.

1073
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,399
Speaker 7: I calls it as I sees it, but also it's

1074
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 7: like I was so obvious.

1075
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 1: Pretty common.

1076
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1077
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 7: She ultimately told me because she says she felt guilty

1078
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:32,439
Speaker 7: that it went so far, But this explains her lack

1079
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:33,439
Speaker 7: of insight or help.

1080
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 1: I guess. Apparently this group had trouble getting through fights.

1081
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 7: Slash encounters, and the DM got frustrated that this was

1082
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 7: interfering with her storytelling. Then when I came around, they

1083
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,480
Speaker 7: found that having all the enemy attention on the new

1084
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 7: guy allowed the real players to explore the stories and

1085
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,879
Speaker 7: encounters without having to retreat all the time.

1086
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: I mean called it.

1087
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, there was no way, That's not what was happening.

1088
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 6: That's really crappy, though. Find a new group and then

1089
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 6: like if you can go in with a totally fresh mindset, yeah,

1090
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 6: and like actually play with like a real freaking group,

1091
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 6: do that.

1092
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: No, they suck.

1093
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,359
Speaker 6: No, that it shouldn't be like that, And I'm sure

1094
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 6: your next group wouldn't it be like that.

1095
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 7: So if anyone out there is playing D and D

1096
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 7: and you are feeling like you're targeted or your character

1097
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 7: is getting this often a lot which should not be

1098
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:28,720
Speaker 7: happening in the first place, there's definitely a reason. Honestly,

1099
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 7: it seemed like some convoluted logic to me, and I'm

1100
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 7: assuming they started expressing their anger towards me as a

1101
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 7: way of keeping me useless via insecurity of my experience

1102
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:42,440
Speaker 7: and decisions. This inevitably made me feel like it was

1103
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 7: my fault. And then when my own decisions stopped on

1104
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,280
Speaker 7: aliving me, they would allow my character to gradually pass

1105
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:52,480
Speaker 7: away off by not equitably distributing help. In any case,

1106
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 7: I'm definitely out of this group and they definitely are

1107
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 7: not my friends. This has made me really confused because

1108
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 7: I just don't really understand why they had to go

1109
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 7: about this in such.

1110
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,320
Speaker 1: A hurtful way. But I appreciate.

1111
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,160
Speaker 7: Everyone for helping me get the courage to talk to

1112
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,800
Speaker 7: them and push hard enough to actually get some truth.

1113
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story.

1114
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 6: Well, well, well yeah, at leastill Wasn't you just a

1115
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:16,840
Speaker 6: bunch of crappy people that we don't need anymore?

1116
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1117
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 5: to the next one.

1118
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 7: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite shortking. We're going to get

1119
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 7: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

1120
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 7: from our sponsors.

1121
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 4: My friend chows football over our friendship after staying in

1122
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 4: my house.

1123
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,240
Speaker 1: Football is life.

1124
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 4: Me twenty nine female, have well had a friend, let's

1125
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 4: call her Emma, thirty two female. I live in London

1126
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 4: and Emma lives in Manchester. Okay, we met before I

1127
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:44,760
Speaker 4: moved to London in a smaller town. We both lived

1128
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 4: in and became friends in twenty thirteen on a fan

1129
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 4: page of an actor. We both like, Oh my gosh,

1130
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 4: was it Harry?

1131
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 1: What actor? Let me know?

1132
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 4: After realizing we live close by, we started hanging out

1133
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 4: in person. By the way, this comes from deleted and

1134
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 4: if you want to spear old stories, go Keon Okay story.

1135
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 3: Time on our subreddit.

1136
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,439
Speaker 1: I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're only here.

1137
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 4: To give good advice scoofully. That's about it. Keon doesn't

1138
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 4: know much. I know a little bit more. If you

1139
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:12,839
Speaker 4: guys have any thoughts or questions or comments, put them

1140
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 4: down below. We'd read them.

1141
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm kualified. It's a koala.

1142
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 4: Everything was normal when we both lived in a smaller town,

1143
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 4: and then in twenty fifteen she moved to Manchester for work.

1144
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 4: We both stayed in touch. I was never invited to

1145
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 4: visit her, even for a day, but I didn't think

1146
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 4: much of it back then. Then in twenty sixteen I

1147
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 4: got a job in London and moved here, and that's

1148
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 4: when the signs I see in retrospect began. Emma was

1149
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 4: an Arsenal fan and when I was renting a flat

1150
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 4: very close to the stadium. Suddenly, Emma was very eager

1151
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,520
Speaker 4: to meet in person, which I was happy about too,

1152
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,959
Speaker 4: because I was excited about the move and also hadn't

1153
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 4: seen her in a very long time. Only once she

1154
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 4: arrived in my flat she told me she wanted to

1155
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,439
Speaker 4: come this specific weekend because there was an Arsenal game.

1156
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 4: For the first couple of years, admittedly, and went over

1157
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 4: my head that every single time she visited it was

1158
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 4: coincidentally a game day. I didn't follow football, so I

1159
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 4: never knew until she told me, which was for the

1160
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 4: first couple of years. Upon her arrival, Dude, Opie, come on,

1161
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 4: how do you not notice that? Come on, you don't

1162
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 4: know that you're being used with time? I changed jobs

1163
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 4: one that was a regular nine to five, but because

1164
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 4: of the industry, I was often more looked like a

1165
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 4: nine to eight. She started coming for every other game.

1166
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 4: I feel like an idiot because the first thing that

1167
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 4: started making me uncomfortable was that I told her I

1168
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 4: couldn't take time off work. Every time she was over,

1169
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 4: she would say it was absolutely fine.

1170
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 1: Of course she would, but then as.

1171
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:44,600
Speaker 4: Her stay progressed, she'd get more and more upset that

1172
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 4: I don't spend time with her. I was at work

1173
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,439
Speaker 4: all day, came back home exhausted to her not even

1174
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:53,439
Speaker 4: have done groceries for whatever dinner she wanted, and she'd

1175
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 4: ask when I'd be making food.

1176
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 1: Oh, I guess you work for her.

1177
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 7: Now, I guess you're her cook, her cleaner, You offer

1178
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 7: her you know your house?

1179
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 3: Oh wha, what where I'm from?

1180
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 4: You do the cooking if you're coming.

1181
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 1: By, or at least bring the food or something.

1182
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 4: She was also so unhappy with the food choice I made,

1183
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 4: never saying what she wanted, but always being unhappy with

1184
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 4: whatever I came up with. It was a saying with

1185
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: whatever past times I planned for us in the evenings

1186
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 4: or over the weekends, she never had any input but

1187
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 4: was complaining about every aspect of what I came up with. However,

1188
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 4: the way she was saying it, framing it like it

1189
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 4: was my lack of consideration, made me always feel like

1190
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 4: I was the crappy friend. When the pandemic hit, it

1191
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 4: was truly done and dusted. She shifted from guilting me

1192
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:46,040
Speaker 4: into agreeing for her to come to ignoring my responses

1193
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 4: if I said I couldn't on those dates, reasons like

1194
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 4: I would be gone all day because I was going

1195
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 4: to Comic Con, or my room floor was taken up

1196
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 4: by my costume and props in progress, or that there

1197
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 4: was already another friend who flew from abroad staying with

1198
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:02,920
Speaker 4: me on those dates.

1199
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 3: She'd say, oh, that's okay.

1200
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 4: And then the day before I'd get a text from

1201
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,439
Speaker 4: her with her train details, actually me to come get

1202
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 4: her from the station. All this time, she never invited

1203
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 4: me to visit her in Manchester, even though I asked

1204
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 4: her when she would have the time for me multiple times.

1205
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 4: The last straw happened at the end of last year.

1206
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: Why do we have more than one straw?

1207
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, what.

1208
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 4: Are they even that close to friends? I understand like

1209
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 4: giving a good friend and a chance like this, what

1210
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 4: is this?

1211
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 1: This is not even a friend. She's just using you first.

1212
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 4: As per that usual point, she invited herself for Christmas

1213
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 4: break to watch the game, obviously, even though at this

1214
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 4: point we'd known each other for over ten years and

1215
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 4: she knew Christmas is a difficult time for me and

1216
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,400
Speaker 4: I prefer to be along. She got us tickets for

1217
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 4: the New Year's Eve fireworks show by the Thames for

1218
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 4: both of us, even though I explicitly told her I

1219
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 4: didn't want to go because one I don't do well.

1220
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 4: I was this thence and too, I had a trapped

1221
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,919
Speaker 4: nerve in my lower back and couldn't stand or walk

1222
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 4: for long periods of times. If you don't know, you

1223
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 4: have to show up a couple of hours in advance

1224
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 4: to get into the viewing area for these fireworks, not

1225
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 4: to mention have a good spot, and then about a

1226
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 4: twenty minute walk to the closest open bus or tube

1227
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 4: stop after the show ends. I told her all these

1228
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 4: reasons when she initially asked me. Obviously, she was extremely

1229
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 4: upset with me for not going with her, saying she

1230
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 4: misunderstood because I was very clear and she had bought

1231
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 4: a ticket for me and now I was now out

1232
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 4: of pocket. This is not a good friend. Good friends, listen.

1233
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 4: She also left way too late, even though I told

1234
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 4: her she needed to be there early to get in,

1235
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 4: and naturally wasn't let in and missed the show completely,

1236
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 4: which again she was mad.

1237
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 5: At me for.

1238
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:55,919
Speaker 4: At that point, I was extremely fed up with her,

1239
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 4: and then she sat and connected her phone to the TV.

1240
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 4: We were in the middle of a tea TV show.

1241
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 4: She started booking her train for the next visit. Going

1242
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 4: through how the exact same game date was not yet seen,

1243
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 4: but it was going to be between these three days,

1244
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 4: so she was going to come for all three. Not

1245
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 4: a single sentence out of her mouth was a question

1246
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 4: about whether I was free those days or if the

1247
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 4: train arrival times would work for me. It was just

1248
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:24,400
Speaker 4: her planning around her shifts and arsenal games. Well the

1249
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 4: chance had it, I already had plans and flights book

1250
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 4: to visit my family in Austria. I tried saying that

1251
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 4: it really didn't work for me, but she dismissed me,

1252
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 4: saying it was okay. As I watched her pay for

1253
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 4: the trains. I once again said I was not free

1254
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 4: to host her those days, but she responded that I

1255
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 4: never have time for her anymore anyways, so it was fine.

1256
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 4: She was going to come anyway. Come the day before

1257
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 4: her planned visit in February this year, she sent me

1258
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 4: a reminder of what time or train comes, and I

1259
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 4: simply responded that I am not in the UK and

1260
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 4: focus on spending time with my family. I looked at

1261
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 4: my phone again. It was a barrage of miss calls.

1262
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 4: She never called me before in all the years we

1263
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 4: had known each.

1264
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 1: Other, that's crazy, you've never called each other.

1265
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,520
Speaker 4: That also adds to a level of how like disconnected

1266
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 4: this woman is from you and messages all asking what

1267
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 4: she was supposed to do now figure it out to Google.

1268
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 4: Not one question asking where I was or if I

1269
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 4: was okay. Remind her that from her perspective, I went

1270
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 4: abroad suddenly considering she never had asked or listened to

1271
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 4: what I said, those dates didn't work for me. I

1272
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 4: also had messages from my flatmates who were looped in

1273
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 4: on the situation, and they were the same, lamenting this

1274
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 4: is what I've done, asking if they could let her in.

1275
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 4: Not a single question whether they knew where I went

1276
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 4: or is something bad happened. They were a couple and

1277
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 4: also generally not in the flat all the time. It

1278
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 4: took her three days to send a message saying she

1279
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 4: hoped everything was okay. This was closely followed by complaining

1280
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 4: about how difficult this situation has put her, how she

1281
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 4: was out of pocket for a hostel and requested that

1282
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 4: I make a copy of my keys for her in

1283
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 4: cases happens in the future. You were you, You were

1284
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 4: out of pocket going into a hostel.

1285
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 7: Who were you to be like you know what, give

1286
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 7: me a copy, you know, an extra key, So when

1287
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 7: you're not here, I can, you know, come and hang

1288
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 7: out in your apartment. Stop talking to this person. Why

1289
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,919
Speaker 7: do we keep entertaining her. She's just stressful A decade though,

1290
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 7: I don't care. A decade of what this is not

1291
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 7: a friendship.

1292
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 4: I responded that it was good to know that all

1293
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 4: she cared about was free accommodation that I could provide.

1294
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:34,000
Speaker 4: Then I blocked her prominently everywhere I could. My flatmates

1295
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 4: and close friends said I made the right decision and

1296
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 4: good riddance. But I have some colleagues say it was

1297
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 4: a witch move and I should have tried harder to

1298
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 4: tell her she couldn't come. Am my friends biased? Am

1299
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 4: I the ahole here?

1300
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 7: You know what kind of you allowed this to happen

1301
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 7: for so long?

1302
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 4: Ailed to yourself.

1303
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:56,160
Speaker 7: You knew you were being manipulated and used, and like

1304
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 7: she didn't care. You never went to Manchester by the way, Yeah, yeah,

1305
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 7: what the heck?

1306
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:02,920
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.