1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls Podcasts, a 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session eighty one 11 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Today we'll be 12 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: digging into helping you explore your relationship with substances. For 13 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: today's conversation, I'm joined by Dr Delicia Pittman, whom I 14 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: had the pleasure of helping to train while she was 15 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: a student at the University of Georgia. Dr Pittman is 16 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: an assistant professor and the director of the Clinical Mental 17 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 1: Health Counseling Program at the George Washington University. She's also 18 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in the District of Columbia and Virginia. Additionally, 19 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: she maintains a private practice in Woodley Park. Dr Pittman 20 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: and I discuss how you can tell if your use 21 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: of substances has become more than recreational, the steps you 22 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: can take to get help if you think you might 23 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: be struggling, how some of our cultural practices may be 24 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: contributing to masking issues with substance abuse, and how to 25 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: help if you think a friend may be struggling with 26 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: their substance use. If you hear something that really resonates 27 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: with you while listening, please share it with us on 28 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: social media using the hashtag tb G in Session. Here's 29 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: our converse station. Thanks so much for joining us today, 30 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: Dr Pittman, Thank you so much for having me. It 31 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: feels very special to have you joining me here on 32 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 1: the podcast. You know, so for those people who don't know, 33 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: Dr Pittman was one of my very first practical students 34 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: that I have had the distinct pleasure of helping to 35 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: usher her into the field, which has been incredibly exciting. 36 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: So I'm excited to have you here to chat with 37 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: us about substance use um. And it's not a topic 38 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: that we talked about very much on the podcast, but 39 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: definitely something that I know a lot of people are 40 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: curious about and need more information about. So I thought 41 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: we would start by kind of talking a little bit, 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of people will kind of 43 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: recreationally you know, I'm hanging out with friends, I'll take 44 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: a drink, I'll smoke or whatever. But can you tell 45 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: us about like some of the signs that it may 46 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: be beyond recreational use, you know, like if you're drinking 47 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: too much or smoking too much. Like, what are some 48 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: of the signs that maybe you need to really pay 49 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: attention to what's happening with your substances. Sure, I think 50 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: one of the things that comes up quite a bit 51 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: both as a professor and training therapists, but in my 52 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: clinical work is really sort of understanding some of the 53 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: early signs that you've moved out of what feels still 54 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 1: very recreational and is moving more into sort of problem 55 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: substance to you. So historically we would categorize it as 56 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: abuse versus dependence, and we don't do that any longer, 57 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: but we're really sort of paying attention to you primarily 58 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: first and foremost negative consequences. Are you experiencing any negative 59 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: consequences as a result of your substance? Used behavior. So 60 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: that could be anything from taking a long time to recover. Right, 61 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: so I know that some of us get older, it 62 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: takes us a little longer to recover from a night 63 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: of drinking. That could start to interfere with you meeting 64 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: responsibilities that you have the next day. And is that 65 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: happening with some regularity? So negative consequences in that regard. 66 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: Have you gotten a d U I or other possession charges? 67 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: Are you getting in legal trouble because of your substance use? 68 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: And this isn't just sort of an isolated incident or 69 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: or a poor decision, but certainly when you are out 70 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: for a night and you decide to get behind the 71 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: wheel and exercise poor judgment, we might have some concern 72 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: about your ability to really regulate or what we call 73 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 1: moderate even your alcohol use or your substance consumption, whether 74 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: that's marijuana use or alcohol use or some other kind 75 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 1: of recreational or club drug use. Um. So, legal trouble 76 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: consequences if you find that you fire more of the 77 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: substance to get the desired effect. Um, So you developed 78 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: some tolerance to a substance, and that can be cultural. 79 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: I think, particularly within the Black community, we sort of 80 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: pride ourselves on what we call being able to handle 81 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: our liquor, and so there's a social implication of that, 82 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: but that at the same time, being able to handle 83 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: large quantities of liquor is an indication that you've developed 84 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: some tolerance. In order to develop tolerance, you have to 85 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 1: drink a lot at that level, which could be an 86 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: indication that you are starting to move out of recreational 87 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: drug use or substance use into sort of more slippery 88 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: slippery territory. That's great information, and I do think that 89 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 1: that is something that people do want to pay attention to. 90 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: And I'm glad you brought up the whole cultural piece 91 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: because I do think that it warrant some conversation around 92 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: like what happens if you are like in a friend 93 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: group where you kind of feel like everybody else is 94 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: drinking and smoking, but that's not quite your thing. Can 95 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 1: you share any information about that, like what that might 96 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: be to be like to negotiate some of those kinds 97 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: of relationships. Sure, in those relationships, whether their friendships or 98 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: romantic relationships, can be tricky to navigate. Certainly, peer pressure 99 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: doesn't go away, you know, once you're out of college 100 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: or high school. And so if you if you find 101 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 1: yourself in a friends group or a social group, or 102 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: even in some cities, some cities like Atlanta and d 103 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 1: C very much have brunch cultures, and those like brunch 104 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: cultures are centraled around like day drinking and day parties 105 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 1: things like that, where it's very sort of very much 106 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 1: more the lies to be drinking large amounts of alcohol 107 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: for long periods of the day, and those are a 108 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: great opportunities for socialization. But if you find that you're 109 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: part of a friend group who maybe drinks or smokes 110 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: more than you do or than you're interested in, it 111 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: can be challenging to engage with them or to sort 112 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: of have a robust social life with that group of 113 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: friends without feeling pressure to to drink more or drink 114 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: a lot, you know. So some of the tricks are 115 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: you know, obviously, drink clear things. Clear liquors um don't 116 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: necessarily ward off getting intoxicated. They can be equally as 117 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: intoxicating as dark liquors can be. But it can be 118 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: much easier to disguise drinking something that looks alcoholic but 119 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: that's not alcoholic, you know. So for some clients, I'm 120 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: like order a tonic water like on the rocks with 121 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: some lime, it looks like you're drinking a gin and 122 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: tonic but you're not. Or order uh, you know, diet 123 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: coke with a lime on this side, it looks like 124 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: you're maybe drinking a Roman Coach, which you're not. And 125 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: so it can really help you pace how much alcohol 126 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: you consume when you have a peer group who has 127 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: an affinity for alcohol. Um smoking is a bit trickier, 128 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: so you'll have to get pretty skilled and confident at 129 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: saying no or choosing to lead certain circumstances where your 130 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: friends might be smoking and you don't want to. This 131 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: comes up a lot around like hookah and like you know, 132 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: drinking and smoking hookah and or marijuana and those sort 133 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: of all going together to sort of really kind of 134 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: exacerbate the high. They kind of create what we call 135 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: synergistic effects, and they increase the high of each other. 136 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: And so for some people that's great, and for some 137 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: people it makes them very, very sick. So you have 138 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: to know your own sort of thresholds for that and 139 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: be okay sort of being made fun of. I mean, 140 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: at some point there's gonna be something that makes you 141 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: stand out and I always say I'd rather stand out 142 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: for not doing things I don't want to do than 143 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: you know, blending in and having to deal with the 144 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: consequences of doing something I didn't want to do in 145 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: the first place. Great information, and I think that's an 146 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: interesting point. I had not thought about how the whole 147 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: brunch culture really is, you know, kind of encouraging like 148 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: all day drinking. Like you think, oh, bottomless mimoses, it's 149 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: pretty harmful or harmless. But when you think about it, 150 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: like didn't, that means you're consuming probably larger quantities of 151 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: alcohol during the day period than you typically would be 152 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: absolutely right. So if you think about the standard brunch 153 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: hours and you start brunch at twelve o'clock and you 154 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: have bottomless mimoses until three, you likely will consume at 155 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: least a bottle an entire bottle of alcohol per person. 156 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: I think folks go really pressed to get their money's 157 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: worth when you have something that's bottomless, and so you're 158 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: sort of encouraged to drink more than you might otherwise 159 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: if you were paying by the glass. Good points. Are 160 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: there other things you can think of? Kind of like 161 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: just in our culture now, that kind of encouraged is 162 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: kind of behavior. I think one of the things that 163 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: is often talked about particularly is that college graduates drink 164 00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: more than any other demographic and the country. And so 165 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: as we're particularly amongst African Americans, as we're seeing larger 166 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: quantities of African Americans go to college and complete college, 167 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: you do sort of fall into the college culture of 168 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: drinking and bench drinking on the weekends, which is sort of, 169 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, a really sort of centralized, clustered drinking pattern 170 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: that's sort of exclusive to the weekend, of drinking large 171 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: amounts of alcohol and abstaining during the week on some level. 172 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: So I think certainly having being a college graduate or 173 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 1: having gone to graduate school certainly increases your risk for 174 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 1: how much you drink, which certainly can contribute to drinking problems. 175 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: Things like fraternities and sororities, not in and of themselves, 176 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: but particularly the college culture around homecomings and events that 177 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: we see those can be slippery slopes for folks to 178 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: drink more than they do in their regular, like day 179 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: to day lives. And so part of it is paying 180 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: attention to those kinds of events. If you tend to 181 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: go those kinds of events and you overconsume and you're 182 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: you know, either passing out or throwing up, those kinds 183 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: of things that feel pretty benign in the moment, but 184 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: it's a pattern. It like every year we go to 185 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: this event and I overconsume and I throw up, and 186 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: that's like you normalize that could eventually become problematic, you know. 187 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: So one of the things that I always tell people 188 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: is that the outward you know, the outward effects of 189 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: alcohol that you see, you know, the throwing up, the 190 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: passing out, the like slurred speech, those kinds of things 191 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: are not actually an accurate indication of what's happening on 192 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: the inside. So your body can metabolize about one drink 193 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: an hour um, and so you generally feel intoxicated when 194 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: your body isn't able to metabolize the amount of liquor 195 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: um that you've consumed in that time. And so this 196 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: is a standard shot, which is about four ounces of liquor. 197 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: So it's not you know, we're not talking about a 198 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: large quantity of alcohol that your body can metabolized in 199 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: an hour. And so any drink that you get in 200 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: a bar is gonna be a larger amount of alcohol 201 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: than your body can metabolize in an hour. Um. You know. 202 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: So if you're able to do two or three or 203 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: four of those in an hour's time or a couple 204 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: of hours, you're gonna feel intoxicated. Um, and and then 205 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: things start to sort of fall apart from there. Those 206 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: are great measurements. I don't know that I knew all 207 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: of that information about like how much your body is metabolizing, 208 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: so great information for anybody who also didn't know that. 209 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: So I think one of the things that often comes 210 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 1: up is that like friends and family members will be 211 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: may recognize like some issues without drinking or substances before 212 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: we might. So what suggestions would you have maybe for 213 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: a friend or a family member who think, like, oh, 214 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: I think my roommate maybe drinking too much, or I 215 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: think my coworker maybe has an issue smoking too much, 216 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 1: Like what kinds of things might you suggest for them? 217 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: Or should they even intervene? That's a great question. The 218 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: if and when conversation is a difficult one. It really 219 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: depends on the circumstances. If you are living with someone 220 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: who's a friend or a roommate, you know, trying to 221 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 1: give them some feedback about behavior or their substance use 222 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: they're smoking. Um, if it's infringing on your levels, and 223 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: certainly you want to tell them that, like when you 224 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: smoke in the house, I don't appreciate it, or whatever 225 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: the conversation is, and trying to set some boundaries with 226 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 1: them and some agreements with them around they're they're smoking 227 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: or drinking. I've certainly had situations where roommates kind of 228 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: like set a trap. I don't recommend that, Um, so they'll, 229 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: you know, put a bottle of alcohol in the house 230 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: and note everyone else is in agreement that nobody will 231 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: touch it to see how long it takes for that 232 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: bottle to like empty, so that they can use that 233 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: as evidence that, like, you might have a problem because 234 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: you're the only one who's drank this entire bottle of 235 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: whatever the case may be. I don't recommend that. People 236 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: generally are quite defensive about it, you know, And so 237 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,239 Speaker 1: I always try to encourage people to hold others accountable 238 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: in love, what is it that it's concerning to you? 239 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: What is it about their drinking or they're smoking that 240 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: is concerning to you? And lead from that place. Don't 241 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 1: lead from the place of you drink too much, but 242 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: lead from the place of you know, I'm noticing that 243 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: you're having a real hard time meeting these other responsibilities 244 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: or demands. I'm really concerned that you might be on 245 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 1: the custom of losing your job because you've called in sick. 246 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: And there seems to be this relationship when you when 247 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: you drink a lot on Friday, that you don't make 248 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 1: it to work on Saturday, and I'm concerned about that, 249 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: you know, so try to sort of lead from the 250 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,199 Speaker 1: place of of concern less than the place of judgment. 251 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: And so when you attack people from the place of 252 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: their substance, that often doesn't go well. The other piece 253 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: of that is making sure that you're not enabling the behavior. 254 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 1: You're not buying or supplying or lying and covering up 255 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 1: for someone so they avoid the consequences of their substance 256 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:56,840 Speaker 1: used to behavior. Ultimately, that just prolongs how long they 257 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: stay entangled in substance abuse. If you're you know, making 258 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: sure that they're not homeless, or you're making sure they 259 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: don't lose their job, or you know, you'd rather than 260 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: smoke at home, so you buy for them so they 261 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: don't get something on the street that's not good or 262 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: you know, dangerous. Those kinds of things are conversations that 263 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: I'm often having with parents and significant others of folks 264 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: who have substance abuse issues. And it can be really 265 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 1: difficult to watch someone you love um go down a 266 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: path that you don't agree with and that you think 267 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: is really dangerous for them, and they don't they don't 268 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: agree with you, or they don't see it the way 269 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 1: you see it. But I'd say, you know, one approach 270 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: them from a place of love and to don'tint able 271 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: to behavior. And I think you bring up an interesting 272 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: point about you know, like especially if this is somebody 273 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 1: who you are very close with, like a partner or 274 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: a sibling or a parent, like around boundary setting, and 275 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: you know, like how that relationship actually can be functional. 276 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: Can you say more about that? Sure boundary setting, particularly 277 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: once you're engaged with someone who has active substance abuse issue, 278 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: can be really really challenging. You know. When I'm working 279 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: with folks and recovery, even in early recovery, you know, 280 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: one of the things that that we sort of use 281 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: to conceptualize that work is that addicts work getting high 282 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: like a full time job, Like it is their job 283 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: to still say high. That is the addiction works. This 284 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: is a choice that they're making. Think the first use 285 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: and maybe even several of the subsequent uses were choices. Um. 286 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 1: But the way that that physiologically your body starts to 287 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: respond once you're addicted is quite different, and it's it's 288 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: more of a like a primitive response, more like a 289 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: reflex than a choice. Um. And so getting sober, getting 290 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: clean can be really really challenging because of it. And so, 291 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: you know, setting boundaries, you know, with folks who are 292 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: actively using can be challenging early on. Generally, folks once 293 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: they've been they've been lied to, they've been stolen from, 294 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: then those folks generally have no problem setting boundaries. They 295 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: just cut the person off completely. Addicts who are using 296 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 1: and are using an isolation, have been cut off from 297 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 1: their families and their support systems generally take much much 298 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: longer to get clean, you know, So thinking about like 299 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: what do healthy boundaries look like. This is maybe a 300 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: person who's allowed home for Christmas, but they're never left alone. 301 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: You know that, we don't drink with you, we don't 302 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: smoke with you. You're not you know, we don't engage 303 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: with you around whatever. The behavior that you have a 304 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: problem is, it's not a problem for us. And we 305 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: won't not engage the behavior because that feels restrictive, but 306 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: we won't engage it with you. UM. So you know, 307 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: thinking about and what emotional boundaries, not even just physical boundaries, 308 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: but what emotional boundaries do you need to set to 309 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: keep yourself mentally and psychologically well. Um, when you love 310 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: someone who's actively using, I think all too often we 311 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: get pretty emotionally entangled in in the substance users addiction. 312 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: It's like if I were enough, if you loved me enough. 313 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, their addiction has nothing to do with you. 314 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with how much they love you. 315 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with how much they respect you. 316 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: And I hear that often. I can't believe you disrespected 317 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 1: Mom's house by stealing or doing this then the other thing, 318 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 1: And it really those factors. I certainly understand the sentiment, 319 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 1: but really those are are not congruent. These are folks 320 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: who generally deeply love their family and deeply have deep 321 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: regret about the things that they do when they're under 322 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: the influence or in pursuit of the next fix. And 323 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: they've burned a lot of bridges in the process. Um. 324 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: And so you know it's not often a reflection, any 325 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: accurate reflection of how they feel about anyone who's close 326 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: to them. Um. But those of us who are clean 327 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,479 Speaker 1: and sort of take their addiction quite personally, and and 328 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: that can be really really challenging and really dangerous as well. 329 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: Great new information. So I do want to spend a 330 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: little time, because you know, marijuana has become legal in 331 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: some states, you are seeing more and more around edibles, 332 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,200 Speaker 1: so it definitely feels like there is more heavy usage 333 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: of marijuana. UM. So I do want to spend a 334 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: little a time kind of talking about, you know, like 335 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: the impact that marijuana actually has on our system and 336 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 1: things that people maybe need to be paying attention to 337 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,119 Speaker 1: in in terms of consuming marijuana. Sure, I mean so 338 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: one of the things that I like to point out 339 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: as the difference between decriminalization and legalization. So some states 340 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: marijuana has been decriminalized, which is essentially just loosening the 341 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: criminal penalties that are imposed for being in possession or 342 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: being found in possession of marijuana, which is still means 343 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: that the manufacturing, the growing, and the selling of marijuana 344 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: is still very much illegal. Um. And then there are 345 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 1: states that have legalized marijuana, which lifts and abolishes laws 346 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: that that banned both possession and personal use, and so 347 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: those are the states that are going to have dispensaries 348 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: that you can go into and purchase freely. So those 349 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 1: are very clear distinctions. One of the other things that 350 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,679 Speaker 1: I often like to highlight for our folks is just 351 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: because marijuana is legal in your state doesn't mean it's 352 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 1: legal for your employer. So um, and we saw this 353 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: a lot in states first started legalizing marijuana, is that 354 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: employers would randomly you weigh their employees. Um, you still 355 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: cannot show up to work under the influence really at 356 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: most employers and so and that is grounds de termination 357 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: in most states that are at will states. Just because 358 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: being in possession of marijuana is legal in your state 359 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 1: and you show up under the influence, your employers still 360 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: as well within the right to terminate your employment because 361 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: of it. So that's important to know. The other piece 362 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: around marijuana use, there really isn't a whole lot of 363 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: data to substantially there's any increase in marijuana use, which 364 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 1: is an argument for folks who are against legalization and decriminalization. 365 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: And there you know, that's been one of their big 366 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: arguments is that it's you know use is going to 367 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: increase and it's gonna be rampant, and we're telling young 368 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: people that it's okay to use, and there really hasn't 369 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: been any data to substantiate that people are using more now. 370 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,679 Speaker 1: People are using more publicly, certainly, but it hasn't in 371 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: fact increased how much people are using. So to dispel 372 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:03,640 Speaker 1: another myth around marijuana uses that it's not addicting, marijuana 373 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:08,880 Speaker 1: is absolutely addicting. Marijuana can cause what we call physiological dependence, 374 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: which is like your body having cravings and or withdrawal 375 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: when you cease using substances. So marijuana, like all other 376 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: substances out there, can create physiological dependence, but they can 377 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: also create psychological dependence. I see a lot of what 378 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: we call self medicating with marijuana. People who have depression, 379 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: people who have social anxiety or other forms of anxiety, 380 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: will smoke a little bit to help get them through 381 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: a day, get them through a social event, those kinds 382 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: of things, and early on you may derive some benefit 383 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 1: from that. Now, prolonged marijuana use will often become counterproductive. 384 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 1: So for folks who maybe we're using it for social 385 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: purposes and now they smoke a little every day or 386 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: multiple times a week, may find at some point that 387 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 1: it stops becoming effective for the management of whatever social 388 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,680 Speaker 1: anxiety or social phobia they had, and it might also 389 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: exacerbate their anxiety and disrupt this. So it's not uncommon 390 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,360 Speaker 1: for folks who have been using marijuana with some regularity 391 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:10,160 Speaker 1: to start to experience insomnia. It can exacerbate depressive symptoms 392 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: as well. Um, you know, so you have to be 393 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: really mindful of any existing mental health issues that you're 394 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: currently managing and your marijuana use, particularly if you're also 395 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 1: taking you know, antidepressants or other medications to manage any 396 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: other mental illness. They can also have sort of crop 397 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: cancel each other out and so you don't really get 398 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: any benefit from either, which means you're sort of at 399 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 1: score you started sort of at square one again. So 400 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 1: it's great information, and I do think it's important to 401 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: kind of highlight, you know, like sometimes people will be 402 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: taking like an antidepressant and they are you know, drinking 403 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: a lot or smoking a lot, and like you said, 404 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: you're effectively kind of canceling those out. So you do 405 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: want to make sure, um that you're paying attention to 406 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: like what your physicians is, uh, in terms of like 407 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: drinking and smoking in connection with whatever medications you're taking. Yes, 408 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: And one of the things that I tell my clients 409 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: all the time is to be honest with whoever is 410 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: prescribing for you. They're not gonna like leave and call 411 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: the police because you smoke a little bit of pot. 412 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: So if you're smoking a little bit or a lot 413 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,440 Speaker 1: of it it or drinking a little bit or a 414 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,159 Speaker 1: lot of it, you need to tell them because it 415 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: certainly will impact what they prescribe to you and how 416 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: much of it they prescribe to you, because you could 417 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,919 Speaker 1: be putting yourself um medically at risk by taking some 418 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 1: of the medications that we use to manage mental illness, 419 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: most of which are not just used to manage mental illness. 420 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: So one of the things that I teach my students 421 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: is that there are very few medications on the market 422 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,120 Speaker 1: that have a singular use. So we use a lot 423 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,640 Speaker 1: of blood pressure medications, anti convulsants, which are anti seizure 424 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: medications to manage mental illness. And so you have no idea. 425 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,679 Speaker 1: You think you're taking a medication that's for depression, but 426 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: it's you're taking a medication that is actually used to 427 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: treat seizures, but it manages your particular kind of depression 428 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,439 Speaker 1: really effectively. And so you may be doing harm to 429 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: yourself unbeknownst to you and your prescriber because you haven't 430 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: been forthcoming about your substance use. UM. So I'd much 431 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 1: rather a client tell me, yeah, I drink about three 432 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 1: glasses of wine every day when I get home, so 433 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: that when I'm working with them to help them manage 434 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: their depression or a depressive episode or some anxiety or 435 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: you know, a bipolar disorder, that I actually have all 436 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: of the pieces that I need to be effective for them. Um. 437 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: And so not giving your prescribers that information is like 438 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: asking them to put a puzzle together and tying one 439 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 1: hand behind their back. Um, So don't do that to 440 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: yourself out there who who may find yourself doing some 441 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: of that help us help you as your medical team. 442 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 1: I try to be as collaborative with my clients as 443 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: possible around their care. So aligning with them and really 444 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 1: understanding sort of what they're doing to cope UM day 445 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: to day between sessions is really helpful for me and 446 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: for some of them the things that they're choosing. I 447 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 1: don't endorse that I can't co sign the things they choose, 448 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: but it's helpful for me to know about what they're 449 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: using and what kind of benefit or not they're experiencing 450 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: from it. Yeah, and I'm really glad that you pointed out, 451 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: you know, the fact that your doctor is not going 452 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 1: to like run out of the room and call the 453 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: police because you're like smoking, right. I mean, it's really 454 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: just more important for them to know the information so 455 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,120 Speaker 1: that they can make the best decisions for your treatment, right. 456 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,680 Speaker 1: And they may they may tell you probably should stop 457 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: doing that, or I'm not going to prescribe this medication 458 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: for you because your alcohol uses too is too high 459 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: and your risk is really great, and those kinds of 460 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 1: things where I need you to moderate your alcohol use 461 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 1: so you know, come back in three weeks so that 462 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: we can see you know, how you're doing. Kind of 463 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 1: a thing. But I find that the most physicians these 464 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: days are really able to have, you know, more productive conversations, 465 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: and I think that's really changing. I think healthcare is 466 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 1: really changing. Um More healthcare providers are really getting on 467 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 1: board with harm reduction approaches as opposed to abstinence approaches. 468 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 1: I can tell you not to drink but the likelihood 469 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,639 Speaker 1: of you not doing that over again is low. So 470 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 1: as opposed to telling you not to drink, I'm gonna 471 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: arm you with some information to make a decision that 472 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: I hope is in your best interest, you know. And 473 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 1: so if you're you know, taking your world beutren with 474 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 1: a cavernet in the morning, we need to have a 475 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: conversation about that, because that's gonna impact how much of 476 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: that medication is actually getting getting into your body to 477 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: do what I needed to do to manage your depression. 478 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 1: Got it? So what would you say, dr Piven for 479 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 1: the person who may be listening and has kind of 480 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 1: hurt all this great information you've shared and is thinking like, oh, 481 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: I may need to look at like how much I'm 482 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 1: drinking or how much I'm smoking, Like what kinds of 483 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: things um like, what would be their next steps? What 484 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 1: kinds of things should they be thinking about inconsidering. Yeah, 485 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: I generally liked to encourage people to start with a 486 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: simple tracking exercise. So track how much you drink, like, 487 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: accurately track how much you drink, right, so I know 488 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: that when I pour a glass of wine at home, 489 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: it does not look like it does in the restaurant, right, 490 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 1: And so a lot of it is paying attention and 491 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,199 Speaker 1: having an honest dialogue with yourself. You know, one of 492 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: the things that I, you know, say all the time 493 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 1: in my own practices, you can't change your truth until 494 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: you can stand in your truth. And whatever that truth is, 495 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: it may be ugly, um, but you've got to be 496 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: able to stand in it before you can work to 497 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,399 Speaker 1: change it. So if you can't have an honest conversation 498 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: with yourself about your substance use, you're not gonna be 499 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: able to have an honest conversation with anyone else about it. 500 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: So just start with a simple tracking exercise. How much 501 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: are you drinking? What's your drink of choice? Like, what 502 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:21,919 Speaker 1: do you like to drink? Do you like to drink 503 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: red wine? Or are you like a white wine drinker? 504 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 1: Are you a brown liquor drinker? They all have different 505 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 1: what we call alcohol by volumes, and so how much 506 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 1: of them you consume can also on some indication, give 507 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: us some indication about a drinking problem. So if I 508 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: have a client who tells me, yeah, I generally have 509 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 1: like three seven and seven versus a client who tells me, 510 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 1: I have you know, three midori sours. Those are very 511 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,880 Speaker 1: very different cocktails, and so that to me can even 512 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: give me an indication of their drinking tolerance. You know, 513 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 1: if you're still standing after three seven and seventh versus 514 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: passed out after three Midori sours, that can give me 515 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: a lot of information. So start by tracking your own 516 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: alcohol use. Um, if you've had any negative consequences. Are 517 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 1: you calling out of work, are you canceling plans with 518 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: people you care about? You know, if you have children 519 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: or pets that you that require care and attention and 520 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 1: you're not meeting those responsibilities, those kinds of things can 521 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: be on the more sort of severe end of red flags. 522 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: But you know, start by tracking the other pieces. Once 523 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,919 Speaker 1: you're tracking, you know, try to moderate your use. So 524 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: if you go home every day and you have a 525 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: glass of wine and that's part of your wine down, 526 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: try doing that three days a week instead of five 527 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: or seven days a week and see if you're able 528 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 1: to do that. Some people think that they're able to 529 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,199 Speaker 1: do that. I enjoy wine. I drink a glass of 530 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 1: wine because I enjoy it, And when they try to 531 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: moderate it, they really find that they have developed some 532 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: physiological tolerance. So on the days that they don't drink, 533 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: they really crave it, particularly if you drink around the 534 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 1: same time. It's part of your evening routine. You get home, 535 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: you take your shoes off before your wine, and like 536 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: you know, that's part of your routine. Your body may 537 00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,679 Speaker 1: start to create it, which could be an indication that 538 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,920 Speaker 1: you elked up some um physiological tolerance. So those are 539 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: two pieces that you can start with. The Other piece 540 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: of that is if you know that you have a 541 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 1: substance use problem and it's sort of getting out of control, 542 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: and you're aware of that, seek treatment. You know it's 543 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: not it's it's generally not this process by which you're 544 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: just gonna stop cold turkey and never pick up alcohol again. 545 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 1: And you know, you know you're gonna go to the 546 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: Christmas parties and be the person who doesn't drink. You 547 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 1: may eventually get there, but that process can be really 548 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: difficult on the front end of recovery. I'd tell folks 549 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: all the time, if you hang out at the barbershop, 550 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 1: long en if you're gonna get a haircut. So if 551 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: the folks you hang around with are heavy drinkers or 552 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: heavy smokers, and you think you can just hang around 553 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: the same people, places, and things you did when you 554 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: were engaging in those activities, you might be setting yourself 555 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 1: up for a failure, you know, so trying to sort 556 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: of change some of the people, places and things that 557 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 1: really encourage your substance use. So yeah, I think those 558 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: are probably the three things I would say to start with. Yeah, 559 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: I think that it is agree it store for people UM. 560 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: And I know before before we started recording, we talked 561 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: a little bit about UM like A A groups and 562 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,239 Speaker 1: in A groups. Can you talk a little bit more 563 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: about what those groups are and how they could or 564 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 1: might not be helpful. Sure, A groups and A groups 565 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: they have been around for for decades and decades their 566 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: Twelfth Step oriented groups, and they are their non therapeutic groups, 567 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: which is what I think is really important people to know. 568 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,160 Speaker 1: A groups and in A groups are generally facilitated by 569 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: other folks and recovery and so it is a community 570 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 1: of clean and sover support and every you know a 571 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 1: A in A UM, alcoholics, anonymous, narcotics anonymous. You know 572 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 1: there are alan on groups for children of spouses of 573 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 1: substance users, things like that. So there are lots of 574 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: twelve Step meetings. Generally there are meetings in every city 575 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: every day, multiple times a day. So if you find 576 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: that you really need some support, that you're really craving 577 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 1: something to drink or smoke um, and you can't access 578 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: any of your own supports, if you're still very early 579 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 1: to the process, you always drop into an A or 580 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: an n A meeting as long as it's an open meeting. 581 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 1: You can do that, and you can get online and 582 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: google them and find them wherever you are, so they're 583 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: a great resource. However, they are not for everyone. Many 584 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 1: A and n A groups are rooted in a faith tradition, 585 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: and for some people that's great, and for others it's not. 586 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: All A and n A meetings are not rooted in 587 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 1: a faith tradition. The step the twelve step process. The 588 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: first step is to recognize that you're powerless over your addiction. 589 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 1: And for some people you know that connects to a 590 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 1: higher power, and for others it doesn't. And that doesn't 591 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: jive well with some people, and so there's no condition 592 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 1: to work the steps. Is what we call it, working 593 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: the steps, the twelve steps to go to an n 594 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: A or a A meeting or meeting of your choice, 595 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: but you can certainly find a sponsor and work the 596 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 1: steps and do all of those things, so you know 597 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: they are generally going to meet in pretty nondescript places. 598 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: Churches are often spaces that meetings happen because they can 599 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: use the space for free community centers, those kinds of things. 600 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: So it's not like there's a sign outside that says 601 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 1: you're walking into an a a meeting, which is great 602 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 1: for UM confidentiality and privacy, but again, you know you're 603 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: gonna walk into a room maybe with a bunch of 604 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 1: people you don't know, or maybe just a handful of 605 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: people you don't know, and some people are really uncomfortable 606 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 1: with that. So I really try to respect how um 607 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,160 Speaker 1: difficult it can be to to utilize a resource like 608 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: a twelve step meeting for that reason, particularly for folks 609 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: who are still very very private about their struggles. The 610 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: other side of of being in a room with complete strangers, 611 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: and they're complete strangers, you may never see them again, 612 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 1: so you can sort of take from the group what's 613 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 1: helpful and leave the rest out fear of like running 614 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: into these people again. You don't have to attend the 615 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: same meeting, but many people do. Many people find what 616 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: we call a home meeting. It's the meeting they go 617 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: to at the same time every week, and so you know, 618 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 1: trying to pay attention to the pros and cons. And 619 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 1: I the kind of person who can, you know, step 620 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: into a meeting and take from it what works for 621 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,000 Speaker 1: me and leave the rest or Am I a person 622 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: who really needs to feel a sense of community among 623 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: people that I know and people that I trust UM 624 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: and that can give your engage for whether or not 625 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 1: some of these an A and A meetings are good 626 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: for you. In the advent of technology, they're now online 627 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,120 Speaker 1: meetings and you can be anonymous in an online meeting, 628 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 1: so you can still sort of tap into the community 629 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 1: and get the support that you need and share or 630 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: not share without having to see anyone UM or sort 631 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: of out yourself in that way as well. So another 632 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: option is to participate in an online meeting. Great resources. 633 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 1: I didn't know that they had online meetings now, so 634 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: but it makes sense. But where we are in the 635 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 1: country right with the advancement in technology, it makes sense 636 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: that they would have it absolutely. So where can people 637 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: connect with you? Dr Bittman, Can you give us information 638 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,280 Speaker 1: about your website address as well as any social media 639 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,360 Speaker 1: handles you'd like to share. Sure. I am a DC 640 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,640 Speaker 1: based psychologist. My practices in Woodley Park, Um right across 641 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: from the National Zoo, so it's a great location, metro accessible. 642 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: You can get to my website at www p sp 643 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: DC dot com. That's Paradigm Shift Psychological DC dot com. 644 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 1: Perfect and anything on social media. I'm not on social media. 645 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: I need she's not on social media. We may be 646 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: able to pressure to get on there, but now you 647 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: can visit her at the website. Well, thank you so 648 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: much for sharing all this information with us today. I 649 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. Definitely, 650 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful Dr Pittman was able to share her 651 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,959 Speaker 1: expertise with us today. To learn more about her and 652 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: her practice, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black 653 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash Session eighty one, and please make 654 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 1: sure to share your takeaways from the episode in your 655 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 1: I G stories or on Twitter. Be sure to use 656 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 1: the hashtag tb G in session so that we can 657 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: find them and share them. If you're looking for a 658 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to visit the therapist 659 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 1: directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. 660 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 1: Don't forget to check out our Therapy for Black Girls 661 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 1: store to grab a T shirt, a mug or a sweatshirt. 662 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,759 Speaker 1: You can find it at Therapy for Black Girls dot 663 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:16,279 Speaker 1: com slash shop. And if you want to continue this 664 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 1: conversation and join a community of other sisters who listen 665 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 1: to the podcast, join us over in the Thrive Tribe 666 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Make 667 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: sure you answer the three questions that are asked to 668 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 1: gain entry. Thank y'all so much for joining me again 669 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: this week, and I look forward to continue in this 670 00:34:36,160 --> 00:35:03,240 Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care all 671 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:08,920 Speaker 1: hot ear oft