1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 2: Doctor Gladys McGary is the author of The Well Lived 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 2: Life a one hundred two years old Doctors Six Secrets 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 2: to Health and Happiness at Every Age. 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 3: Hi, doctor McGary, Good morning, Good morning. 7 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 2: How are you today? 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 3: Good? 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: Well, if you're listening and you caught the title of 10 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 2: the book, it clearly says that you are one hundred 11 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 2: and two years old, So I would imagine that many 12 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 2: of the listeners want to know exactly what I want 13 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 2: to know. What does a day in the life of 14 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 2: a one hundred and two year old person look like? 15 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 3: You get up, you go to the bathroom, You eat breakfast, 16 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: do what you have to do, You take a nap 17 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 3: in the middle after lunch, and then I walk. I 18 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 3: have a walker. I walk three thousand, eight hundred steps 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 3: a day, and I do what I have to do, 20 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 3: and then I eat dinner, and then I go to 21 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 3: bed and then I sleep. 22 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: What is your bedtime? Though? This is what I need 23 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 2: to know. 24 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 3: Eight o'clock. 25 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: Eight o'clock, okay, this is not that much earlier than 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 2: my bedtime. 27 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 3: I get up at six. 28 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 2: Okay, so you really value sleep. 29 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the afternoon nap is really important to me, 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 4: is it since I was ninety eight years old or something. 31 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 2: Well, many many people call you the true mother of 32 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 2: holistic medicine, in a true pioneer when it comes to 33 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: is it allopathic? Is that how I pronounce that you 34 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 2: got it allopathic and holistic medical movements? So I know 35 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 2: you're also a founder of the a founding diplomat of 36 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 2: the American Board of Holistic Medicine. And I was telling 37 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 2: you before we started this podcast that I watched your 38 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 2: ted X talk and you talked a lot about the 39 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: moment where you had the realization, wait, this is maybe 40 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 2: like when you were studying medicine, you were like, I'm 41 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 2: learning about all these ways to kill the things, but 42 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 2: I want to I want to know more. I want 43 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 2: to know like the roots. So what is it that 44 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: drove you to get interested in holistic medicine. 45 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: Well, I came into this world so that I could 46 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 3: do this. I mean I was two years old when 47 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 3: I told my parents, who were both osteopathic physicians, both 48 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 3: missionaries in India, and we were living out in the 49 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 3: jungles of North India because that's where their mission took them. 50 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 3: And so I felt like I was in a good 51 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 3: place to learn what I was going to do if 52 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 3: I was going to do it. And I had my dolls, 53 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 3: which they ended up in hospitals or something, and my 54 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 3: sister wouldn't let me play with hers because they'd get 55 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 3: it injured. 56 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 2: You were doing doctor experiences on these dolls. 57 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it was it was who I was. Yeah, 58 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 3: And so the whole concept of the way my parents 59 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 3: were dealing with the uh Indian people who were the 60 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 3: poorest of the poor and the and had My parents 61 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 3: had no real, uh wonderful equipment or anything like that. 62 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 3: We were traveling intents, so they had what they had, 63 00:03:54,600 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 3: but mostly what they had was their attitude towards each patient. 64 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 3: And the whole concept was everyone was important, what you had. 65 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 3: What we had to do was to listen to them. 66 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 3: I spoke Kindustani before I spoke English, so I could 67 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 3: understand what they were saying too, And it was just 68 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 3: part of my what I knew I was supposed to 69 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 3: do when I got into the actual work that we 70 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 3: were being taught. And it was right in the middle 71 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 3: of the war, and even after the war, the lack 72 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 3: of the listening to what the individual patient was saying 73 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 3: was very, very obvious to me. 74 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: That makes sense. I feel like that is still probably 75 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 2: pretty prevalent in the medical field. Do you do you 76 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 2: agree with that? 77 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: Well, it can be in particularly now since computers have 78 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 3: come right and it's much easier for a patient a 79 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 3: physician to look at what he sees on the computer 80 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 3: and make a decision about the patient who's sitting right there. 81 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 3: And many many patients I've had come back to me 82 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 3: or well I see them after they've seen a specialist 83 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 3: and their comment is, but he never talked to me, 84 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,799 Speaker 3: or something like that. I think it's getting a little 85 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 3: better now, but it's it's really been something that I've 86 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 3: felt was missing in the field of medicine right from 87 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 3: the start of my getting involved with it. 88 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 2: So what if listeners are going, what is holistic medicine? 89 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 2: Because I know, you know, some people really buy into 90 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 2: it has to be full western medicine and just kind 91 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 2: of it sounds a little woo woo maybe to look 92 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 2: at this more holistically. Can you kind of explain what 93 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 2: it even means when you talk about practicing holistic medicine. 94 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 3: Well, yes, I'll try, Okay, I think that we're total 95 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: beings body, mind, and spirit. And so what I was 96 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 3: learning about in the field of medicine was a lot 97 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 3: about the body and a lot about the mind. But 98 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 3: I couldn't see where the the love, the spirit aspect, 99 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 3: the inner aspect of the patient was going. So for me, 100 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 3: that was what was missing. In fact, when my oldest 101 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 3: son who just graduated, well actually he's a retired orthopedic 102 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 3: surgeon now at the time, he had just graduated from 103 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 3: his training in orthopedics and came through Phoenix. He was 104 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 3: going down to Del Rio, Texas to practice, and he said, Mom, 105 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 3: I'm real scared. He said, I'm going into the world. 106 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 3: I'm going to have people's lives in my hands. He said, 107 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 3: I don't know if I can handle that. And I 108 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 3: said to him, well, Carl, if you think you're the 109 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 3: one who is responsible for that, you really have something 110 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: to do, because it's your job to do what you've 111 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 3: been trained to do, which is awesome. I mean, if 112 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 3: you've got a broken leg, you want an good orthopedic 113 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 3: surgeon to book worth it. You don't want a bone 114 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:55,119 Speaker 3: setter or something. So it was the do what you've 115 00:07:55,200 --> 00:08:01,679 Speaker 3: been really trained and talked to do and then help 116 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 3: the patient who is now has the responsibility of doing 117 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 3: the healing, because it's the physician within each patient who 118 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: actually does the healing. And so you do the best 119 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 3: you can and then you support the patient as they 120 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 3: do their healing and it's great. So I don't see 121 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 3: the concept of holistic opposed to allopathic medicine. I see 122 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 3: us working together. And the fact of the matter was, 123 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 3: when we started the American Holistic Medical Association, it took 124 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 3: us two years to decide how to spell holistic because 125 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 3: the word that we were looking for, the root word 126 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 3: was health, healing, and holy. So it was that aspect, 127 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 3: not whether you were going to be using herbs or 128 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 3: or some other modality. It was a very essence of 129 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 3: who you were looking to as partners in this field 130 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,839 Speaker 3: that we were talking about. 131 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 2: So let's talk a little bit about when you started 132 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:21,440 Speaker 2: all of those things, because obviously I would imagine you've 133 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 2: seen our culture shift a lot, especially being a woman 134 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 2: in this medical field. I would assume there's been some challenges, 135 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 2: especially when you first started. Did you ever feel like 136 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 2: there was some sexism you faced? I mean, I know 137 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 2: a lot of that has changed, you're laughing. She's like, yeah, 138 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about that journey. 139 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:52,559 Speaker 3: Well, yes, I went to Women's Medical College in Philadelphia, 140 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 3: the only medical college for women at the time. And 141 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 3: there were a few medical schools who took woman here 142 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 3: or there, but basically we were it. And their whole 143 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 3: theme was that we were going to have a harder 144 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 3: time finding a place for ourselves than the men, so 145 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 3: they were going to make it harder for us in school. 146 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 3: So we started with fifty students and ended with twenty five. 147 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 3: So even just the training was real strict. But when 148 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 3: I started my first internship at Deaconess Hospital in Cincinnati, 149 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 3: they had never had a woman doctor, and so I 150 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 3: went and I arrived for call. When I was on 151 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: call for the weekend, there was no place for me 152 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 3: to sleep. So I had the X ray table and 153 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 3: a blanket and a pillow, and I had that the 154 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 3: rest of the time I was doing my internship because 155 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 3: there was no place. And I had patients who withdrew 156 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 3: and said, no, go get me a doctor, you're a nurse. 157 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 3: And I had nurses snatched charts out of my hands 158 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 3: and say you can't touch this, and I have to say, oh, yes, 159 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 3: I can, and then there, you know, it was all 160 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,320 Speaker 3: of that. But I won't even mention the names that 161 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,719 Speaker 3: I was called, and because I don't even want to remember. 162 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 3: But you know, we were very weird. 163 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: You're the odd ball. 164 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but people were beginning to think about it, 165 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 3: so there were none of us there. The numbers began 166 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 3: to grow when we began to talk about it and 167 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 3: have conferences about it and so on and so. Yes, 168 00:11:56,160 --> 00:12:01,199 Speaker 3: it changed, but it changed like it should, you know, properly. 169 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 3: So I don't think of the whole field of medicine 170 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 3: either as an either or. I don't think it's I 171 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 3: either practice holistic medicine or I practice allopathic medicine. No, 172 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 3: it's not the modality, it's the attitude with which you 173 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 3: use that modality, as far as I'm concerned. 174 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 2: Well, let's talk a little bit about the book. It's 175 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 2: called The Well Lived Life, which I would assume you 176 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: have a lot to say about living one hundred and 177 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 2: two years. But you talk about six secrets that are 178 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 2: the key to this well lived life. So can you 179 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 2: just tell us those secrets? 180 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you know the first one, Well, let me 181 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 3: tell you a sort of a precursor to this okay. 182 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 3: The five what I call the five l's, okay, these 183 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 3: are sort of the foundation beneath the others. The first 184 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 3: L is life Without life, there's nothing, okay, so life, 185 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 3: you have to start with life. But life without love 186 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 3: can't do anything. You have a seed in a pyramid 187 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 3: that's there for five thousand years and it's got all 188 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 3: the energy of the universe within that shell, but it 189 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:36,959 Speaker 3: can't do anything until it water reaches it, or until 190 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 3: love reaches out for it. So when love and life 191 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 3: get together, life starts and then it can go on. 192 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 3: And it goes on and it has to keep moving. 193 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 3: But so that's the first L, okay. The second one, 194 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 3: of course, is love, which activates the life. But the 195 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 3: third one is laugh. Laughter without love is cruel, it's mean, 196 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 3: it's cold. But laughter with love is joy and happiness, 197 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 3: and oh my life is good, you know. 198 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 2: Yes. 199 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 3: The fourth one is labor. Labor without love is drudgery. 200 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 3: Oh man, I got to get to work too many diapers, 201 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 3: you know, just too much. But labor with love is bliss. 202 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 3: It's why a singer sings, it's why I paid her page. 203 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 3: It's why you're doing what you do. It's what I 204 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 3: do what I do. It's what makes our hearts sing 205 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 3: that labor with love. And the fifth one is listening. 206 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 3: Listening without love is empty sound. It's a king gong 207 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 3: and just it's empty sound. But listening with love is understanding. 208 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 3: So with these five l's you can begin to see 209 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 3: where where my whole concept of medicine goes. So in 210 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 3: the book and the six secrets are ways in which 211 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 3: we can begin to apply these, and they've got we've 212 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 3: got little ways in which you can do it. Get 213 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 3: the book. 214 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 2: She's like, I'm not giving away my secrets that I love. 215 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 2: That all of those things that you just mentioned are 216 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 2: completely different when you remove love from the equation learning. 217 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 2: Let's go ahead. 218 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 3: The activating factor for life, it just is everything in 219 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 3: life when and love has to move, it has to grow, 220 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 3: it has to keep going. If you stop growing, if 221 00:15:55,160 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 3: you stop moving, it dies. Love has to reach out, 222 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 3: it has to go beyond. It has to reach towards 223 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 3: the light. It's what is constantly helping us to grow 224 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 3: into our true humanity. 225 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: How do you think you learned that lesson. 226 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 3: By living it? Actually, my parents were amazing. They were 227 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 3: both humble people who well we lived out in the jungle, 228 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 3: and you know, they took care of patience, and I 229 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 3: tell the story about my mother treating an elephant and 230 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 3: all of that kind of thing. You know, there were 231 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 3: things that we watched and helped with as we're growing 232 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 3: up children with in the jungles. It was a way 233 00:16:53,480 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 3: in which what was important was what we understood. Without that, 234 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 3: I would have been really floundering. But the way my 235 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 3: parents were working with life, the way they treated us, 236 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 3: the way they treated everybody was something that always included love. 237 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 3: And I didn't know it at the time, but you know, 238 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 3: as I've looked. 239 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 2: Back, right, I would imagine that over one hundred and 240 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 2: two years. You know, life is always kind of up 241 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 2: and down. I've learned that in my forty years. So 242 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 2: I would imagine in one hundred and two years, you've 243 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 2: seen some major ups and some major downs. How do 244 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 2: you not or what would you say to people like 245 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,640 Speaker 2: me or just the listeners about kind of riding those 246 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 2: waves and not getting stuck in the hardships of life, 247 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 2: but focusing more on the love and kind of getting 248 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 2: back to that energy. 249 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 3: Try raising six kids. 250 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 2: I didn't know you did that. 251 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,159 Speaker 3: And so when we when we started our practice, My 252 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,959 Speaker 3: husband is a physician too. We started in his hometown 253 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 3: and was called back into the Korean War and I 254 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 3: was left there with well. When I came to town, 255 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 3: nobody wanted to have a woman doctor, so I'd have 256 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 3: to have Bill come and check it, and he'd do 257 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 3: the same thing I had done, you know. Finally, by 258 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 3: the time he left and went into the service, I 259 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 3: was the only doctor in town, and now I would 260 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:42,760 Speaker 3: they everybody talking, you know. Came when I was sick 261 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 3: myself with the momps. They went up the backsteps of 262 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 3: the hospital and to consult with me, and my colleagues 263 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 3: took me home to their home and protected the ivy 264 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 3: with the curtain rod, you know, that kind of thing. 265 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 3: I had to from my patience. Finally, but the really, 266 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 3: when I was so tired doing those years, I would 267 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 3: come home and my son, Bob, who was eighteen months 268 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 3: old at the time. I had four kids in four years, 269 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 3: which I thought was a good idea. Wow, I wanted 270 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 3: them to be I knew I was going to be 271 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 3: in and out, but I wanted them to be partners 272 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 3: with each other, and it worked. Excuse me. So when 273 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 3: I would come home, he'd be sitting on the front 274 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 3: steps of the house, and I'd pick him up and 275 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 3: go in and sit down in the rocking chair and 276 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 3: he'd pat my shoulder until life came back into focus 277 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 3: with me. For me, it was a excuse me. It 278 00:19:55,280 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 3: was a very important way of weaving in my own 279 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 3: life process with the whole thing, all the things that 280 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 3: were going on with the patients who I was working with. 281 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 3: What do you mean you have been vital in my 282 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 3: whole and in fact, by uh youngest daughter was my 283 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 3: partner until I retired from the active practice of medicine, 284 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,360 Speaker 3: and she's still you know, a position here and talk. 285 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,400 Speaker 2: What I'm taking from that, and let me make sure 286 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 2: I'm getting this clearly. But I hear and I was 287 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,479 Speaker 2: having a conversation with my dad about this this morning actually, 288 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 2: But just the importance of community for all of us 289 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: and connection is that sort of what you're saying is 290 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 2: like you get through the hardships, you ride the ups 291 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 2: and downs with your people and your community. 292 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I'm decided that you don't just get over something, okay, 293 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 3: if you live through it, everything is a teacher. Hard 294 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: times are some of the best teachers. And because they 295 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 3: if we can move through the difficult, painful times and 296 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:33,680 Speaker 3: learn what that whole process is all about. Then we've 297 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 3: actually lived that essence of what our inner being was 298 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,119 Speaker 3: trying to teach us. Because I think that what this 299 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 3: is all about is learning and growing and moving and 300 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 3: keeping gone moving, getting and if you get stuck, you 301 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 3: keep moving until you get unstuck. 302 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 2: What does that look like on a day to day 303 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 2: for you? I know it's mental health awareness not so 304 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 2: I'd like to give people just kind of tangible tips 305 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,199 Speaker 2: on you know, how to how to get unstuck if 306 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 2: you're feeling that stuck. What does it look like to 307 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 2: keep moving forward? 308 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 3: Well, but for me, it's absolutely awesome. I'm talking to 309 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 3: you for crying out long. 310 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 4: You know. 311 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 3: When I didn't even have a telephone until I started 312 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:33,479 Speaker 3: in college where the things scared the living bees. But 313 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 3: you know, and here we can do this kind of. 314 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 2: Thing, right, we're on a zoom call. 315 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 3: If yeah, if you keep on learning with each of 316 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 3: the things that you have allowed yourself to be faced with, 317 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 3: then it's awesome. It's just absolutely awesome. And I forget 318 00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 3: what you asked. 319 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 2: Me, well, that was sort of it, like what's the 320 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 2: tangible or maybe what are the tangible ways to keep 321 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 2: moving forward. And so what you just said is to 322 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 2: keep learning, maybe. 323 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 3: To keep learning and reaching for the light. I have 324 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 3: a visual of I have a flashlight. Okay, okay, flashlight, 325 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 3: But as I'm going along, all I can see is 326 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 3: the next step ahead that that flashlight is lighting up 327 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 3: for me. As I'm going along that way, A lot 328 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 3: of times there's someone else who's flashlight isn't quite as bright, 329 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 3: and they're struggling and they're kind of stuck. But maybe 330 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 3: if I might reach over with my flashlight and help 331 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 3: them with the light that's on the problem or the 332 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 3: issue or whatever it is that they're doing, then sometimes 333 00:23:53,840 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 3: even without them even knowing it, I'm helping them, you know, 334 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 3: find the light and move with it and move forward. Yeah, 335 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,880 Speaker 3: and that's what if you want to turn around, look 336 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 3: over your shoulder and say, oh man, this is awful. 337 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 3: You really get stuck. If you can leave loo, look forward, 338 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 3: look up and reach out, you know, et he wanted 339 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 3: to go home. He's talking his true humanity. 340 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 2: Well, the book, as we mentioned, is called The Well 341 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 2: Lived Life, and I'm going to put the discretion. I'm 342 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 2: going to put the link to that book in the 343 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 2: podcast so you guys can hear the sixth secrets. So 344 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 2: in the book you said, you give the six secrets 345 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 2: and then you kind of talk through different tangible tools. 346 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 3: Yes, each secret has ways in which you can work 347 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:54,479 Speaker 3: through this work with us so that if you're stuck, 348 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 3: if there's something that you don't understand it, we give 349 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 3: you a chance really physically do something that. It's like, 350 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,199 Speaker 3: there are things that really we hang on to that 351 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 3: we don't need to. My mother taught me that, and 352 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: and the she, my sister and I were in our 353 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 3: nineties and we were talking, we do this, and we 354 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 3: talk a little bit more, and we do this, and 355 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 3: one of us said to the other, we don't know 356 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 3: which why do we do that? And we did it 357 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 3: all the time, and we said, well, I guess it 358 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 3: means kane, which in Hindustani means it doesn't matter. And 359 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 3: then we said who did that? And we looked at 360 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 3: each other and both of us said at the same time, 361 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:50,119 Speaker 3: Mama did it. Okay, why did she do that? And 362 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 3: we thought about it and and we said kuchane. And 363 00:25:54,640 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 3: the whole story is that my mother was wise enough 364 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 3: that she understood that in life, a lot of times 365 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 3: things happen, and we can we have options. We can 366 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,439 Speaker 3: like say, somebody calls you a bad name. One, Yeah, 367 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 3: you take it in and it hurts, you know, and 368 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 3: you know you you think it's really bad. That hurts, 369 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 3: real bad. But if you hear it and you catch 370 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 3: it in your hand and it comes towards you, you 371 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 3: just let it drop down like's pedals and let it 372 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 3: go and say it doesn't matter, which but one means 373 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 3: it doesn't matter and you let it go. My sister 374 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 3: and I realized that from our mother's actual action of 375 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 3: her hand, she had taught us that there were many, many, 376 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 3: many many times in life when you had the choice 377 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 3: of either taking something in and feeling hurt by it 378 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 3: or allowing it to happen and let it go. And 379 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 3: if you let it go, you don't even remember what it. 380 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 2: Was, right, you know. People spend most of their lives 381 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,440 Speaker 2: learning to let go of things, let go of attaching 382 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 2: to things like that. I love that motion that you're doing. 383 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,360 Speaker 2: It's just like she's dropping her hand and just kind 384 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 2: of moving it backwards. 385 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not even offensive, it's not like. 386 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 2: No, right, Oh well, doctor mcgury, thank you so much 387 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 2: for being here. You guys, go get the book The 388 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 2: Well Lived Life. You are a living testament to obviously 389 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 2: the well lived life. So I really appreciate you being 390 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 2: here and talking and sharing your stories with that. 391 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,880 Speaker 3: Of course, when they when they were when we were 392 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 3: working with the title, I really didn't like that title 393 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 3: because I thought it meant me the well lived life. 394 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 3: And the publisher said, no, we're talking about the people 395 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 3: that read it, right, So it's not I'm telling about 396 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 3: my life, Okay. The book is for the person that's reading. 397 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 2: It, okay, so we can have a well lived life. Yes, 398 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 2: I like that. All right, Well, thank you for sharing 399 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 2: your wisdom with us. 400 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 3: You're welcome. 401 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 2: It was so nice to meet you, and thank you 402 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 2: guys so much for listening. 403 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, 404 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520 Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a 405 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty 406 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.