1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:06,279 Speaker 1: They talk better than they These are the radio blogs 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: on the Fred Show. 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 2: I'm friend, you get what you get, period ship, You 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: get what I give you. That's it, Kiki. Yeah, they 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 2: get what you give them. 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: That's it. 7 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 2: Like right now your blog audio journal, like for writing 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 2: in our diaries. 9 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: Take it away, dear blog. 10 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 3: So I need some advice because I'm noticing that I 11 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 3: always judge people when they say it's so hard to 12 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 3: make friends as an adult. 13 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: I was like, what how you know? 14 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 3: Until I actually have started trying to make friends as 15 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 3: an adult, it is kind of weird. It's awkward, and 16 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 3: you know, as a person who walks into every situation 17 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 3: with the like I want to be besties. Like I 18 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 3: come into every situation like yes, it's best friend, let's 19 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 3: do it. Yes, friend, And some people just don't want 20 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 3: to be your friend, and it's like you know what 21 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 3: you what am I supposed to do with that? 22 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: It's so like, because you want to be your friend. 23 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 3: Well it's not like one person in particular, but it's like, Okay, 24 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 3: it's a new group that I'm getting involved with at church, 25 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 3: and like it's a bunch of new people coming together. 26 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 3: None of us know each other from like past. We 27 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 3: have no past history together. Everybody's just coming together, and 28 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 3: so I'm noticing that, Like I feel like I'm putting 29 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 3: an effort in to be a friend, but I'm not 30 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 3: necessarily getting that back exactly from certain people. And it's like, 31 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 3: I don't know what. We don't have any history, so 32 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 3: like what what's not to enjoy? 33 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. 34 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 3: But you know, just because I think I'm a good 35 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 3: time doesn't mean that other people. I gotta think that 36 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 3: I'm a good time. But as an adult, like, how 37 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 3: do you truly make friends with somebody if you don't 38 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 3: have like we don't have to work together, you don't 39 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 3: have to talk to one another. 40 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,279 Speaker 2: I think it is hard to make friends as a girl. Yeah, 41 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 2: well you do it at church. I hear you do 42 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: it like in sports leagues, join like a sports league. Okay, 43 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: that kind of thing. I don't know. 44 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: But like, if you're in. 45 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 3: Any situation where you don't have to talk or don't 46 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 3: have to interact with somebody, how do you truly build 47 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 3: a relationship Because I feel like a lot of our 48 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 3: relationships in my Locke speak for me, are work related. 49 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 3: A lot of my friends we've met through this journey 50 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: of work or a lot of friends I've met from 51 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 3: high school or from college, and it's like, okay, outside 52 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 3: of that, what real friends have I just met along 53 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,359 Speaker 3: the way? And how do you become friends with somebody 54 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 3: if they don't see. 55 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: I feel like the majority of my good friends here 56 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 2: we're all friends before and I just injected myself and 57 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 2: their friend group because we all did charity work together. Okay, 58 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: and now I call them my friends, but they're really 59 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 2: they were friends like for twenty years before me. Yeah, 60 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: so I'm the outsider, okay, but then I just now 61 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 2: they're my friends. 62 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 1: But it's hard. 63 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 2: No, it's hard because people, I think as you grow up, 64 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 2: you know, people they get married, they have kids, and 65 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 2: families in the circles become they become focus and other stuff, 66 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 2: and it can be harder to schedule times to meet 67 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 2: with new people and out with new people, and so 68 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 2: you wind up hanging out with the same folks. And yeah, no, 69 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 2: I think it's because when you're younger and you're in 70 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 2: school or you know whatever, I don't know, and everyone's 71 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 2: single and sort of and there aren't children involved, I 72 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 2: think people can are more flex and you're right, now, 73 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 2: it's hard to figure out, like who wants to hang 74 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 2: out with me? 75 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 3: Right? 76 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: And what are we going to do? 77 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 3: I'm a low maintenance friend, Like I don't need you 78 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 3: to call me every day. I don't need to go 79 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 3: We don't need to go out all the time. But like, 80 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 3: I just want to know what's not to like, what 81 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 3: are you not liking? I don't know am I doing it? 82 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: You know? 83 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 3: Like tell me if it's something that I'm doing or 84 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 3: somebody told you or it's just weird. And I'm just 85 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 3: like I cannot think for the life of me why 86 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 3: this person is not excited to be friends. 87 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: He probably, you think. 88 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 2: So I find that as the guy, as the man 89 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 2: who is single with no children, I don't get invited 90 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 2: to a lot of stuff because people are like, well 91 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 2: it's couples and so you would would be the odd 92 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 2: man out. Or it's couples and kids and you don't 93 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 2: have either, So like, do you really want to come 94 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: to my kids, you. 95 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: Know, third birthday party? 96 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 2: And no, not really, but like if it's the only 97 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 2: way that I'm going to see all you guys, then yeah, 98 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 2: then I want to go. But I think what happens is, 99 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 2: you know, people move away and they h and live. 100 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 2: Lives change, and if yours doesn't change along with them, 101 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 2: then you kind of wind up getting excluded. And I 102 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 2: don't think it's on purpose. I hate that, it's just 103 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 2: it just is though. But you're the You have a 104 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 2: husband and a kid, so you're going to get included 105 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 2: in a lot of that stuff and I don't. 106 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 4: But I better be included in girls' night and single 107 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 4: ladies hitting the street night. Like I still want to 108 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 4: do everything that you know, the old me would do 109 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 4: as well, because I cherish my friendships like I do 110 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 4: water them. It's hard, it's hard work, but to me, 111 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 4: it's like super important because like all my friends are 112 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:34,599 Speaker 4: on different levels. 113 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: Everybody's different, living in it for different life. 114 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 2: I think you're going to find the ways you get older, 115 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 2: there's less and less of the just lose fun socializing. 116 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 2: There's and it takes a little more effort to make 117 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 2: it happen. I mean, try and plan something on this show. 118 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 2: And we're all friends, and we all like each other 119 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 2: and we want to hang out with each other, but 120 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 2: try and try and find one day that all of 121 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: us can do the same thing at the same time. 122 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: It's impossible. That's very true. So it's really hard to do, 123 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 1: and I think that is a factor. It is hard. 124 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 2: I mean, as a forty year old man, there aren't 125 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 2: a lot of other forty year old men out there 126 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: that are just like chilling that are and I don't 127 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 2: plan very well. So like Friday at five o'clock, I 128 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 2: know the group of guys and where they're going to be. 129 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 2: I know where to find them. But it's the same guys, 130 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 2: and they're guys who are just like me, single with 131 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 2: nothing else to do. But if I try and call 132 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 2: one of my married buddies at Friday at four o'clock 133 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: and go, what are you doing, They're like, y'all see 134 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 2: the month right when? 135 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: I can? 136 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,239 Speaker 2: You know clear with my wife? You know, how about 137 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 2: how about six fridays from now? I'm like, I don't 138 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: say fridays from that might be will still come up. 139 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 3: And exactly you got to cut your grass like this? 140 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: Yeah you found you found this too, though, haven't your roof? Fine? Yeah? 141 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: I don't have any friends. 142 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 5: I have like one or two friends, and then you guys, Oh, 143 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 5: I mean I just have my family are my friends? 144 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's just I think people's 145 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 2: prayer I don't think it's personal. I think it's just 146 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 2: life is hard and it takes a lot of effort. 147 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 2: And when you're working and you have kids and you 148 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 2: have other you know, projects and other things going on, 149 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: then you, I don't know, maybe you're just like it's 150 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 2: just one more thing you have to do. 151 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: And I don't think it's personal. 152 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 5: Yeah no, yeah, I mean everyone's everyone's lives are different people. 153 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 5: You know, something's changed, and some people just stay the 154 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 5: same and you just go. You just that friendship runs 155 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 5: its course and sometimes it's done. Wow, have you tried 156 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 5: talking to that person? Likes something in common with the 157 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 5: person you're talking I'll. 158 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 3: Try to bring up conversation and it's just like it's 159 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 3: not clicking. 160 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: It's just not clicking. And I'm like, I love making friends. 161 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 1: I don't get on that they got that bumble thing. 162 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: I'm not that desperate, not friends walking on for friends. 163 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: She don't have Big Tim as a friend. Yeah, what 164 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 1: is he exactly? He's my man in my roommate. You 165 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: pay half the bills? Is the entertainer report? Is next 166 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: friend show?