WEBVTT - Dean Unfiltered 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:05.480 Hell I Suck It Dating with the Jared Haven Heart 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:14.080 Radio podcast What is going on? Sucky Daters? Welcome to 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.800 an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:23.160 and Praise the Lord. Jared is back recording with us today, 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.079 and Jared, let me say I speak for all of 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.720 us when I say you were missed last week. You 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:29.440 know it feels good. It feels good to be back. 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.480 I had a week off, I got you know, refreshed. 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.360 I'm ready to go bring it this this week. There's 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.879 a lot of news. Obviously Coulton's the biggest news. But 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:43.080 last week I missed because Ash and I went to Phoenix, Arizona. 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:46.040 It was our first in person event pretty much since 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.600 the pandemic started, and it felt good. It felt good 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.080 to be around people now. Granted there were social distancing 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:54.440 in place and we had to wear masks, but it 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:56.320 was nice. It was it was there. You know, they 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:58.639 had like this conference outside. It was the first time 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:02.040 you were traveling to do something. It was quite weird, 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.280 but it was cool. It was nice. Plus it was 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:07.480 like ninety and sunny, so it's pretty awesome. And now 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.360 we're back with Rhode Island and it's like forty one 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.240 and it's snowing currently in April, which is quite weird. 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:16.360 You know, how much did you get paid to go 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:20.280 to Phoenix, Arizona? Are you joking? What you want me 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:21.720 to tell this? On area you had your mind? It 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:25.399 wasn't It's not like I'm messing. Let me say it's 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:27.480 not breaking the bank. Let me say that. But it 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:31.160 was still. You know, we're not gonna say no to anything. Yeah, 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:33.679 I got you, I got you. Well, it's gonna have 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:35.640 you back. Like I said, we missed you last week. 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:38.880 Obviously Sidney Lutwaco filled and admirably, but it's just she 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.600 was around. We we move around a little more aimlessly, 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:46.120 a little less intentionally without you here. So very very 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:47.600 grateful to have you. Bet. I just try to keep 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:51.280 everybody on track, you know, specifically Eastern Eastern Becky and Mark. 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.880 They slack off when Umber I'm not here, So I'm 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:55.760 back here. I like to I like to point out Sydney. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.200 Sydney So Sydney hosted last week's episode of Help I 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:01.880 Sucker Dating, but she also hosted A Girl Wants Um 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:04.880 which if you haven't listened to that, go check it out. 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.080 It's fantastic. Sydney is fantastic. She really is. She's the 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.359 best as actually ever hosted What a Girl Wants? Yet? 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.000 Uh did they did? Her and Calin? No? Her and 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.440 Calin hosted an episode of Help I Second Dating right 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:19.680 during the pandemic? Didn't they did? They? Am I losing 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:23.399 my mind right now? Did I dream? Oh? Yes they did? 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:28.959 They absolutely did? Yeah, I uh nothing. My memory really 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.560 has been so bad lately. You gotta get like those 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.720 apps that work on your brain memory, brain power. Well, so, 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:36.600 I think the reason my memory is getting so bad 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:38.520 is because I'm on my phone so much, and so 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:40.760 I just like I mentally checked out for twenty three 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:42.960 and a half hours out of the day and it's 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:44.960 just my mean, my brain is melting. So I need 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.120 to stay away from the apps and stay off my phone. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.320 I'm like trying to intentionally put my phone down more 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:51.400 as of like today. But yeah, but if you're on 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:53.480 your phone at least maybe you can have an app 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:57.840 that helps with brain memory, brain recognition. I find myself 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.720 uh smarter ever since I've been back in school because 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:04.120 I've been reading more. I mean I read a lot prior, 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.440 but now I'm learning more, gaining more knowledge I might 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:12.960 not sound smarter, but I feel smarter, and I'm getting 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:17.720 my history degree. So I didn't tell you that. Again, 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:19.720 you might have told me, but my memory is just 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.040 it's shot. I have early on set Alzheimer's. I think 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.200 that's not good. I would get that checked out. I 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.520 don't remember you telling me that. I may or may 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:29.320 not have. I don't know. Sometimes I play things because 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.239 to the chess. It's also weird saying I'm back in school. 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:33.600 You know, I'm thirty two. I'm a little insecure about it. 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:37.400 But also it's never too late. And because of the pandemic, 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:39.960 all the classes of virtual, and I never finished school. 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.640 I never got my bachelor's and I only had five 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.520 classes left because I was working the restaurant industry. I 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.640 started making good money and then I started working full 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:49.920 time there, so I dropped out. And then of course 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:52.760 I've gotten the Bachelorette and then everything kind of changed 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.560 since then, and so I always said I'd go back 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.640 and finish. And then with the pandemic, classes are all virtual, 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.440 so I literally have to get out of bed. You know, 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:01.920 I don't even have to put pants on. I just 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.840 put my ring line on and bought a big Botta boom. 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:08.720 I'm in class UM, so that's nice. And I didn't 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.720 know that you never finished your bachelor's I I always 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:12.360 kind of figured that you did. You know, I come 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.800 off quite intelligent, so I can. I you know, it's 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.920 not a wonder why you think i'd have my bachelor's 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:20.000 if not my master's UM. But I don't have either. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:21.600 But I will be getting my bachelors as the ones 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.480 who have passed my classes at the end of the summer. 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.240 So I'm taking four classes right now, which I'm not 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.360 gonna lie. It's starting to catch up on me now 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:32.440 because I have final projects do I have final exams 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.640 coming up, and I'm getting a little nervous because I 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:36.400 forgot how much work you really have to do with 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.680 taking four classes, because technically that's full time. So a 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.920 little stressed about that, but that's quite all right. I'll 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:43.360 get through it and then I have to take one 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:46.320 more class in the summer and then I graduate. What's 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.680 your what's your goal or like reasoning for you want 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:50.320 to get your bachelor's I feel like you know you're 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:52.920 doing enough without a bachelor's degree. What's the point of 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:56.160 going back and getting one? It's more. I I paid 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.320 not a lot of money, so I went to rhodel 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:00.400 In College, which I go to right now, and it's 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:04.280 really not that much per semester um, but it's still 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:07.200 money that I paid, and I never got anything for it. 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.040 I mean, I gained knowledge, and I gained friends and experiences. 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:11.600 But I really want you know that piece of paper 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.800 saying are graduated with my degree, because I only have 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:15.479 an associates right now, so I just wanted to go 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:17.960 back finish it, say I did it, get my degree 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.360 in history plus Dean as you and I both know, 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:22.680 who the hell knows how long this is gonna last. 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:24.920 So I want to plan for the future, make sure 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.679 I have a bachelor's degree, have a backup plan, start 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.440 thinking about what I want to do in five years, uh, 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:34.040 if not shorter, depending on where this all goes. Hopefully, 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.240 you know, hopefully in five years, you and I are 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.680 you know, the you know, the highest rated podcast on 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.400 iHeart Radio. But you know, in case help I suck 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.240 at dating doesn't last that long, which I think it will. 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:49.520 We're doing pretty well. Um, then who knows? Well? You 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.680 know the age old adage that they always said, you 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:57.320 know growing up is influencing won't lasts forever. And uh, 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.880 bachelor's degree in history is way to go. Yeah, I 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:05.640 think Godly said that. Gandhi said, that's right, bachelor's degree 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:07.400 in history sets you up for grade six. It was 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.040 either Gandhi or Kim Kardashian. I can't remember one or 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:14.000 the two said that at one point in their lives. Well, 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.680 that's awesome, man, congrats. Yeah, let me know if you 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:19.800 need any you know, any help. I'm happy to be 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.200 like a study buddy with you. Oh, I appreciate that. 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.719 I've already tried bribing Ashley to write a paper for me, 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:26.599 but it's not really going that well. It sounds like 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.920 college to me if I've ever been there. But Jared, 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:32.120 we got some big news in Bachelor this week. Do 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.640 you want to I mean, fill people in. I'm sure 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:38.279 they're already filled into to a pretty big extent, but 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.280 if you want to, if you want to enlighten them 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.280 even more, well, of course, obviously everybody is talking about it. 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:49.640 Big news within Bachelor Nation. Former Bachelor Colton Underwood gave 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:52.800 an interview on Good Morning America where he announced that 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.799 he is gay. Um. He says that he is ready 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.600 to live his truth. He came out and gay, obviously. 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.760 On the interview that came out wednesday, he said, quote, 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.720 I ran from myself for a long time. I've hated 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.320 myself for a long time, and I'm gay, and i 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.160 came to terms with that earlier this year, and I've 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:13.320 been processing it and the next step and all of 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.880 this was sort of letting people know I'm still nervous. 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:19.480 But yeah, it's been a journey for sure. I didn't 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:23.040 know that the woman that he sat down with, Robin Roberts, 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:26.680 is also gay, which I did not know that, and 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:28.560 and it kind of makes it a little bit more 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.880 powerful to me. Um. My first initial thoughts is, of course, 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:35.800 I'm happy for Colton Um. I watched a little bit 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.440 of the interview. I didn't watch the whole thing. I've 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.720 always liked Colton Um. He's always been very nice to me. 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:45.640 I think, listen, it's Calton a perfect person. Obviously not 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:50.400 now we know that Cassie got a temporary restraining order 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:55.400 against Colton Um, and two months after that, I'm reading 0:07:55.400 --> 0:08:00.360 from People magazine she did drop that restraining order against Colton. 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:06.160 This was the quote it said from Colton Today. Cassie 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:09.640 asked the court to dismiss the temporary restraining order against me. 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.000 The two of us were able to reach a private 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:15.840 agreement to address any of Cassie's concerns. I do not 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:19.440 believe Cassie did anything wrong in filing for the restraining orders, 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.160 and also believe she acted in good faith. This is 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:27.520 uh from back in November. November of last year, so 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:31.240 a couple of months after she got the temporary restraining order. Uh, 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:34.120 and then she did ended up dismissing it. Um. But 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:37.600 I'm certainly happy for him, um that he's feeling more 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.040 comfortable in his skin. I can't imagine how difficult it is. 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.480 I know he's a football player. You know, he's he 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.079 was seen as you know, he's seen as kind of 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:49.520 a sex symbol on the Bachelor. Um, It's I'm sure 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:53.880 it was kind of difficult. Uh. But I think those 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:57.679 are really my overall thoughts. UM. I don't think there's 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:00.560 anything wrong with saying that you can be happy for 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:04.280 someone while also saying at the same time that it's 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:07.160 not an excuse for past actions that they have. You know, 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.319 the first and foremost thing in that situation, make sure 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.720 Cassie felt okay and she seems to be doing all right. Um, 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:15.000 but that doesn't mean that you can't, you know, be 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.320 happy that someone feels more comfortable in their own skin. 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.640 What are your thoughts, Um, well, yeah, I appreciate that 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:23.520 take on it. I mean it's a secret that I 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.839 am not the biggest Culton fan, dating all the way 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:27.839 back to that very nice interview I gave him Las 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.240 Vegas with Lauren's Emma about how his season is going 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.440 to be a dumpster fire. And I mean, to be fair, 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:34.880 his season was a little bit of a dumpster fire. 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:40.480 It's not like you were way off right way off. Um. Yeah, 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:44.080 And so I never been the biggest fan of Coulton. Uh. 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:48.480 It just whether he's straight or gay in the closet, 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.280 out of the closet. I still am not a fan 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.920 of him in any sense of the word. I think 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:59.400 that people to people showing him grace for this and 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.400 like being before him, it kind of makes me. It 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.880 frustrates me. Look listen at the other day, none of 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:06.760 this affects me. So I don't have the strongest opinions 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:08.560 of it, like who cares what I say? Who cares 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:12.040 what you say? Because at the end affect us, right, look, 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.000 I don't care if Colton is straight or gay or 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.160 anywhere in between. I just think the guy is a 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:21.439 loser and I just don't get the best vibes from him. 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.880 I just don't like him. And like you said, Dean, 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:28.200 if if this helps one person out there who is 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:32.559 who is having difficulty, uh coming out and being truthful 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:36.480 about their sexuality, then I it probably is a good thing. 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:37.840 I mean you said that. I think you stand by 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:40.760 your words because I know, uh, you know how you 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:42.760 feel and who you are as a person, and I'm 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:47.680 same here. I think you know, I think your opinion 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.120 of Colton has nothing to do with his sexuality, like 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.160 you felt like this for a very long time. Well, 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.160 and so I always I always bring it back to 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.320 the one moment that I experienced when I was on 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.320 the Bachelorette. I've heard the story before, but I was 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:02.760 about to open up about the passing of my mother 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.160 and I was hesitant and scared. I didn't want to 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:07.320 talk about it, and one of the producers leanked in 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.800 and said that if, uh, if I'm able to make 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:14.560 one person anywhere feel better about their you know, grieving 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.600 their loss, whatever it is, then doing that will be 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.360 worth it, and I can equate that to you know, 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:23.080 people sharing their stories of coming out. If if Colton 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:25.800 doing this on such a grand scale is going to 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.400 make some even just one person feel more comfortable to 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.040 come out, then yes, of course at the end of 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.240 the day, that's worth it. I just don't like the 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.960 way that he's going about it totally, and I'm don't 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:39.079 you know, fault you for your opinion, and I I 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:43.200 think for me, yeah, it's uh, like we said all along, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.480 like I uh, I'd like to think that I can 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:50.559 have multiple thoughts on on a specific situation. I'm very 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.800 happy for Colton coming out and being truthful for himself 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:57.240 and speaking out that he's gay, um, because I don't 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:58.920 think it was easy for him. Yeah, why don't you 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.760 like Colton? That's a good question. I think Colton is 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:08.440 a fame whore, phony narcissist. But listen, at the end 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.079 of the day, we all have shadows of that within ourselves. 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.720 I'm not saying that I'm not a narcissist or I 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:19.040 don't dislike being in the spotlight. I just think he 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:23.840 takes it to a level that is uh, shameful. So 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.040 pretty much you're not gonna watch You're not going to 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:30.480 watch the Netflix series on him? Do you hear about that? Well, 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:34.160 I've heard the rumors. Um, it's frustrating to me how 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:39.600 this guy who has been sketchy and in my opinion, 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:44.360 is just a loser now gets rewarded with a rumored 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.200 Netflix show on top of all of this national attention. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:51.080 It's just it seems so fishy to me, and I 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:55.480 just don't like it. Yeah. No, well, I guess it's different. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.200 I'm trying to I'm trying to cor correlated to Ashley 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:03.199 and minds engagement because obviously we went on national television 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.840 got engaged, so we wanted all eyes on our us 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.160 to a certain extent as well. But there's multiple factors 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.000 to that. I don't know. It's a hard comparison. It's 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.560 hard to articulate all my thoughts right now because it's 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:15.760 all so fresh. Well, I want to end up to 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:17.440 you real quick, because I understand what you're saying. It's 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.000 because you're saying you and Ashley took to a national 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:22.679 stage to make certain announcements similar to what Colton did, 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.760 but just in a different aspect. So we started to 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:27.560 take advantage of it as well. Now Granted, I don't 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:32.240 think it's nearly as heavy as you know, declaring your sexuality, 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.960 especially someone like Coulton, like we talked about football background, 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.960 you know, was the bachelor getting chased by all these women, 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:41.240 had a very public relationship, and then comes out it's gay. 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:45.280 That's a bunch more heavy, rightfully, so obviously than something 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.680 that actually and I you know, getting engaged and getting married, 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.240 because that's kind of like the way society has has 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.200 has taught us, and Colton is doing something you know 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:57.120 that hopefully everybody's okay with, and it should be okay with. 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.200 You know, you shouldn't have any in your heart for 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.720 someone who chooses their sexuality or and I'm not saying 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.199 choosing that's even a wrong phrase. You know, someone who 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:06.880 is gay. It's not like they choose to like men, 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:08.920 or it's not like I chose to like women. It's 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.520 just like I like women, just like Colton likes men. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:15.000 And there's nothing wrong with that. Um But I agree 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:18.480 with you. I it's definitely you know, anybody who's watching, 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.120 of course, it's it's a little planned and contrived, so 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:23.120 I guess everybody can have their own opinions about that. 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.000 I mean, right, at the end of the day, all 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:27.520 it is is an opinion. I just think he could 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.720 have you know, let's say he neither of us will 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:35.640 ever have the the need to experience coming out. You know, 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.560 that's obviously a big step in any gay person's life. 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:41.600 I just find it hard to believe that in the 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.280 back of his head the best way for him to 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:44.520 come out was be like, let me go ahead and 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.640 do a nationally ties televised interview and announced to you know, 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:52.040 people that I'm gay, when he could do the same 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.760 thing on an Instagram post or I just it just 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.160 seems I feel like you have more of an issue 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.120 if I had to guess, And I don't want to 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:00.760 put words in your mouth, but it feels like you 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.760 probably have more of an issue with the Netflix thing, 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:06.280 because hypothetically, say Colton just came out on Good Morning 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:09.480 America and then that was it, and then he's now 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.680 gay and he's open about and everybody can be happy 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.800 for for that aspect while also still holding him accountable. 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:16.880 But that's the thing is, I don't think people are 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.160 holding him accountable. Even in our episode notes here that 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.200 we have it says, let me go ahead and find 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.400 the direct quote real quick. It says something like it's yeah, 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:28.000 are you talking about like Bachelor Nation saying that they're 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.760 very proud of him? Not necessary, No, there's something about him, 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:33.400 oh says here right here. Colton Underwood publicly apologizes to 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:36.320 Cassie Randolph after coming out as gay in quotes, I 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.880 made a lot of bad choices full US Weekly article here. 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.320 So maybe that's my biggest frustration with it is he's 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.160 not actually like being specific about what he's holding himself 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.360 accountable for. Got it. So you want more specificity and 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:49.080 saying this is what I'm sorry about, this is what 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:51.120 I apologize for, instead of just saying, hey, I'm sorry 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:54.680 for things that happened. Yeah, okay, I mean, I'm not 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:59.240 saying that's unfair. Um, I don't know, it's just we 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.240 live in such a sensitive time right now, and it's 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.840 so difficult to know what's right and what's wrong. Because again, 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.840 you know, I I like you, and I said, I 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.560 don't know what it's like to come out of the closet, 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.360 but I can't imagine it's easy. You know, I have 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.400 a lot of friends who are gay and and it 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:16.000 was difficult for them. One of my closest friends. He 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.520 came out in high school, and he had a difficult 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:20.360 time telling his father about it because his father was, 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:22.920 you know, it was just his dad's I don't want 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:25.240 to say old school, but he was just especially back 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.360 in the two thousands, like he just wasn't really he 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:31.360 didn't know how to handle it. So um uh my 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:35.040 point being like to do it, I don't know. I'm 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:40.520 happy that he was able to say it, but I 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:45.520 can still have concerns about previous allegations. I did want 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.520 to point out to the one uh caveat to my 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.920 argument against Colton and what he how he chose to 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:56.560 announce this. Um. I would like to say that if 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:59.840 at the end of the day, it convinces one person 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:02.600 who is like scared or uncomfortable to share that about 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:05.200 themselves with anyone within their family or their friends or whatever, 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.639 If at the end of the day, Colton's interview on 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.320 Good Morning America changes that person's opinion of being fearful 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:13.280 of coming out and like encourages them to actually go 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:15.320 out and do it, then yes, of course it's worth it. 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:17.000 And that's kind of why I'm like, I have this 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.359 weird confliction in my head where it's like, I'm so 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:23.560 frustrated that Good Morning America gave this loser a platform 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.840 to announce this, but at the end of the day, 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.800 like it could serve to be beneficial for people that 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:33.040 are closeted and concerned, it's scared and hesitant too. So 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:36.240 it's like, I see both sides of it, and I 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.960 appreciate the fact that we that there are conversations being 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.239 had more so about this more mainstream, but again, I 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.280 just wish that they were better examples of people that 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.879 would be, uh, you know, making the same statements, like 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:53.919 there are way better coming out stories than Coulton's and 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.240 with people that aren't as you know, are aren't alleged 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:02.200 stockers or just generally bad people. In my opinion, that's 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:04.639 my take on it. Before we go to break, I 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:07.679 just do want to clarify that the restraining order that 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:10.800 Cassie had against Colton was a temporary restraining order that 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:16.880 she has since dropped. UM. I want to make sure 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:22.160 I got that correctly. Cassie has dropped the temporary restraining 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:26.840 order against Colton, UM that she did file. We also 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.720 can't say that that Colton definitely stopped Cassie. We don't 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.240 know that to be a fact. Is our all allegations. 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:37.520 That's like Jared just said, Cassie dropped those before fully 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:40.280 pressing the charges. And Dean, this is just your opinion. 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.639 You know everything you talked about passionately Uh and me 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.879 what you know what I talked about both of them? Uh? 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:49.879 Is us just you know, trying to lay out the 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.040 facts for me and then giving our opinions on on 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:57.560 on what has transpired. Right, we have our opinions of 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:02.000 him and this situation, and we have everyone has their opinions, 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:05.320 and that's all. These are our our opinions. That's why 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.119 we are fortunate enough to have this podcast is because 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:11.639 sometimes um people want to listen to our opinions, and 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.040 that's what they are. Like the Netflix show. The Netflix 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:16.160 show is unconfirmed right now. It has not been announced 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.520 by Netflix. There is a rumor out there that has 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.119 been reported. I saw see an end reported UH and 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:23.520 a couple of other news outlets report that he is 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:28.159 filming a Netflix show that is um rumored to start 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.600 to start. Colton Underwood, we don't know what it's about. 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.520 We don't know if it's actually happening. Like I said, 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:37.280 we haven't been officially announced for a Netflix. Um, but 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:41.919 there's you know, to your pointing about some backlash facing Colton. 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:45.960 There's a petition out there. I'm sure you've seen that that. 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.359 I think twenty thousand people have signed to this point 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:55.520 saying that Netflix should not have this show with Colton Underwood. Yeah, 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.480 I'll sign that petition. I haven't yet, but I'll do it, Dared, 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.879 Will you sign a petition? I'm gonna I'm gonna keep 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:07.280 that opinion to myself. Hey, we don't pay you to 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:08.960 keep your opinions to yourself, man, We pay you to 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:11.000 keep your to share your opinions. Well, then I need 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:27.520 a raise, all right, welcome back to help I suck 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:29.320 at dating. I don't even know where we go with 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:32.600