Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Yay's thanks all back, Thank god, my captain's here. You're
Speaker 1: welcome back. Things are a little rough.
Speaker 2: You guys, don't have to put the phones out, Saday.
Speaker 2: You can just come in and sit down.
Speaker 3: We just trust your eye too much when we have
Speaker 3: to do it. There's no trust in each other room,
Speaker 3: like wait, did you pust?
Speaker 1: Did you do this?
Speaker 3: Airplane mode? I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then I also go back into like that mode
Speaker 1: of when you have like a like a boss and
Speaker 1: you don't want to disappoint someone like it would be
Speaker 1: my luck that I wouldn't push.
Speaker 3: We would take that hour out of her literally no time,
Speaker 3: and then we would record it and then we would
Speaker 3: have bested up, and it would just made me just
Speaker 3: really sad. Welcome back to night.
Speaker 1: We're glad to have you, glad to be here.
Speaker 3: Have you like gotten back on.
Speaker 2: A I got it Saturday night. I slept like ten
Speaker 2: hours and it was amazing love A ten.
Speaker 1: We're so good. I mean I went to bed at
Speaker 1: eight thirty. That's nice? Is that a girl? Yeah? It
Speaker 1: was so nice? Good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's been good and I'm yeah slowly getting
Speaker 2: back into the the sleep.
Speaker 1: Are we feeling all supported on the home front coming back? Yes, good,
Speaker 1: laundry was done.
Speaker 3: I need to know. I've been just dying to money.
Speaker 1: You should say that, Cat, I need to know. Ye
Speaker 1: was done.
Speaker 2: And No, it was one of those where it's like
Speaker 2: where the kids bag's unpacked from the trip. No, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. Things So but it's fine. It
Speaker 2: was a greenhouse. I didn't even care. I came back
Speaker 2: just like very joyful and to be unhappy. Yeah, to
Speaker 2: get home because it was a long one. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I'm sad that you weren't able to come out on
Speaker 2: this one because it was you would have loved it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is this is a good one.
Speaker 3: It ended up being interesting because Emmy ended up being sick.
Speaker 1: That's home.
Speaker 3: When we were gone, she had like one hundred and
Speaker 3: two fever.
Speaker 1: That's where I'm at right now today.
Speaker 3: It's it's a thing. It's a viral thing. We tested
Speaker 3: twice for everything. Weird.
Speaker 1: The baby had it Saturday, love has it today.
Speaker 3: So she was really sick. So I would it would
Speaker 3: have It would have been a struggle for me to
Speaker 3: leave because she's usually fine. But like her fever got
Speaker 3: pretty so I would have felt it so it worked out. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was bummed, but it worked out like well, of course.
Speaker 1: It would have. It definitely would have been a fun
Speaker 1: one though. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to see you.
Speaker 2: It's so good. I'm so excited. There's a few things
Speaker 2: that I'm real proud of in it good. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: a little jockey. It was out of you. I was
Speaker 2: a trainer, oh not a jockey trainer. Proud of that too,
Speaker 2: thanks girl, girl. Yeah, that's that though.
Speaker 1: Guys. We're just happy you're back. It feels weird when
Speaker 1: and it was like, a, really this is so sentimental
Speaker 1: and ridiculous, but that's my role, right, that's what I do.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: I just like being here though, Like I felt like
Speaker 1: far away from you, so it just felt like good
Speaker 1: to just even be like in your space.
Speaker 3: It was definitely the way to do it. It was
Speaker 3: sweet and not psycho what I just said, because like,
Speaker 3: my house isn't set up for it. It always doesn't
Speaker 3: sound good, it doesn't look good. It was just so
Speaker 3: much better to just be here. We could be here,
Speaker 3: the setup, we could see you, well, it was it
Speaker 3: was perfect.
Speaker 1: Yay, yay, don't ever leave again. Let's me do that again. Well,
Speaker 1: I might have a few coming up. But anyways, that's fine.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's good, kine.
Speaker 2: So any life updates? Did the in laws come? What's happening?
Speaker 1: No? In laws didn't come? You said, did you?
Speaker 3: Oh? You kept saying what if that's what you want?
Speaker 1: That's right? And it ended up just shaking out good
Speaker 1: I am guys?
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 1: And I hope you're proud of this. I'm trying really
Speaker 1: hard to use the word surrender over and over and
Speaker 1: over again. Yeah, not a doormat, but just to know
Speaker 1: what will be, will be sure, because I find myself
Speaker 1: anchoring in these little nooks of nervousness or anxious overworrying.
Speaker 1: It does me no good, it does my body no good.
Speaker 1: And so I'm just trying to continue, like when I
Speaker 1: tell you it's minute to minute back re surrendering, really
Speaker 1: sing surrendering. So I thought, you know, what, if they
Speaker 1: want want to come, it will be what it will be.
Speaker 1: And what do you know? Just over here other side
Speaker 1: of having my husband home for five days and no hosting, great, Hey,
Speaker 1: So I do want to set the record straight that
Speaker 1: I do like to host because I found a lot.
Speaker 3: I got a lot of support. They're like, I stress
Speaker 3: about having people over to Okay, I got.
Speaker 1: A lot of support. People were like, and I said,
Speaker 1: I'm just nervous. I'm coming off like, yeah, got frigid,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I do enjoy it. I think I'm
Speaker 1: just in a season where I'm hosting three of the
Speaker 1: people I gave birth to, and that's enough for me.
Speaker 3: It doesn't make you a frigid bitch, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. Like every personality is different, and that's what
Speaker 3: I'm learning. I always kind of thought that about myself
Speaker 3: because I seem like kind of cold and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: But now I'm realizing through this and people reaching out
Speaker 3: like that's my personality too, and that's okay. Yeah, Like
Speaker 3: there's a lot of people like that. Like a lot
Speaker 3: of people would prefer to go to someone else's house
Speaker 3: then hosted their house, Like that's.
Speaker 1: Not a yeah.
Speaker 2: I'll just say this though too, Like when I met you, Catherine,
Speaker 2: my first impression wasn't you were cold?
Speaker 3: Or that you were right?
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just thinking back, Yeah, like when I
Speaker 2: met you, I wouldn't have become friends with you if
Speaker 2: I thought you were old, right?
Speaker 3: You know well, and I think too, you have a
Speaker 3: good personality for me in that situation. If someone is
Speaker 3: also like me, it's harder. It's harder for both of
Speaker 3: us because we're fine once we get to know each other.
Speaker 2: One of the other girls that it was kind of
Speaker 2: in another acquaintance group where it's then you guys just
Speaker 2: like stand next to each other and don't say anything
Speaker 2: because it's.
Speaker 3: Not who it is.
Speaker 1: Yes, I can already just say yeah, a lot for
Speaker 1: you when we met.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Y'all's personalities make it easier for
Speaker 3: me because if you're like me and it's hard Channa
Speaker 3: and I like Velcrow two, well, yeah, and that can
Speaker 3: work too. But again, I remember meeting Jane. I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is easy because she remembers and I don't remember
Speaker 3: feeling like you were closed off at all.
Speaker 1: But again, you'll make it easier for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if someone is also right, but it's awesome, kind nice,
Speaker 3: awkward at first, then we're just awkward and we don't
Speaker 3: know what to do. We don't have to until we
Speaker 3: get to know each other and then we're fine.
Speaker 1: Okay, do has your has that changed for you?
Speaker 2: What being in because I've noticed me shifting a bit.
Speaker 1: The surrendering or the being in people's space.
Speaker 2: Not being like even within work situations normally be like
Speaker 2: I'm a hugger, like I'm a lot more like highness
Speaker 2: to meet you, like I'm more I'm not as.
Speaker 1: You're more reserved. Now for sure, I would, I definitely am.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of that changed with marriage, depressed
Speaker 1: into because we kind of the irony of like the
Speaker 1: roles that you play and just like I had a
Speaker 1: really good boss actually when I worked at the record
Speaker 1: label and we kind of had a talk where he
Speaker 1: was like, listen, as I've always been the hugger, and
Speaker 1: he's like that could be perceived as not professional at times,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, you know, broke my little Michigan heart,
Speaker 1: and I feel like.
Speaker 2: We come from a state of hugger. When I was
Speaker 2: doing my radio to Yeah, the label like basically said
Speaker 2: because I would hug the program directors. So some liked
Speaker 2: it and others were like they didn't add my song
Speaker 2: because I was like hugging them, or like because I
Speaker 2: was too friendly. I was like, I was just giving
Speaker 2: them a hug. I'm just a Michigan. A note like
Speaker 2: I'm frankly that was.
Speaker 3: So interesting, but a little bit in the label's defense,
Speaker 3: these radio guys would think because you gave them a
Speaker 3: hug that they were going to score, and when they
Speaker 3: did not score, I'm just going to be flat out
Speaker 3: honest with you, then they were like, f you, I'm
Speaker 3: not adding the song.
Speaker 1: So that was a same discussion, and that's bad.
Speaker 3: It's so messed up. And it literally we basically had
Speaker 3: to tell you to not be yourself because these men
Speaker 3: would get it in their head after a hug. And
Speaker 3: I remember once you walked past a radio guy not
Speaker 3: realizing it. I'll never forget this. I think we were
Speaker 3: in Vegas, okay. I just remember being told because I
Speaker 3: was with you, and I was like, we did not
Speaker 3: I did not see him, but he was mad that
Speaker 3: we walked past and did not.
Speaker 2: Say hello, then didn't play my song because we don't
Speaker 2: have enough TI.
Speaker 3: I just want to defend that, Like it was not like, hey,
Speaker 3: just don't be a hugger. It was these radio guys.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. They made it really hard for artists to
Speaker 3: beat themselves.
Speaker 1: Well. I remember getting side hugged ones by a pastor
Speaker 1: because I was a hugger. Right, And then that's an
Speaker 1: awkward moment too, you know, like I just assumed everyone's
Speaker 1: a hugger and I went to be like, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. And that's a completely cool difference sided me.
Speaker 1: I understand it. Yeah, but at the time, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that's weird. You know. I'm definitely super lovely still with women,
Speaker 1: not even as much. I feel like, I'm just I
Speaker 1: hate this word, but I am a little more guarded
Speaker 1: in general, and it's not closed off. I'm just I
Speaker 1: think as we get older, the filter and the scanner
Speaker 1: and the discernment gets a little sharper.
Speaker 2: So we're I think mine came from like, yes, we
Speaker 2: are Midwest girls, and that was I feel like we
Speaker 2: were it. If I wasn't that way, then I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be liked or I wouldn't be perceived as this really
Speaker 2: easy going, fun Midwestern girl, and so I felt like
Speaker 2: I had to And then but it was like almost
Speaker 2: like a not an overkill because it is my personality.
Speaker 2: I do would rather hug than shake someone's hand, and
Speaker 2: I'm more reserved now, yeah, because I don't. I would
Speaker 2: almost did too much then because I was trying to
Speaker 2: portray this like easy free loving person.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I would agree. Yeah, and I think.
Speaker 3: It's okay to you know, I think it's okay either way.
Speaker 3: I mean, your personality is your personality. But if you
Speaker 3: feel more comfortable not having to overcompensate, not having to
Speaker 3: be overly and by all means be more reserved, you know,
Speaker 3: would everybody be themselves?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I love you. I want to hug you right now.
Speaker 1: It's hard for me. Hard for me, I would though
Speaker 1: there wasn't two microphones. Oh yeah, I love how you
Speaker 1: guys just like look back to me. So happy your bag? No,
Speaker 1: I know there's not smiling.
Speaker 3: Oh my updates are literally I feel like I'm getting old.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: Also, when I was could have been at the movie
Speaker 3: I threw my back out for the first time ever
Speaker 3: Welcome to forty. It was awful and I could not walk.
Speaker 1: How'd you do it?
Speaker 3: You tried to crawl? Nothing, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: What are you bending over?
Speaker 3: I was making food and I like walked to the
Speaker 3: pantry and all of a sudden, I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: my back hurts. I was like, uh a, nick, I
Speaker 3: can't walk? Did it just like seas up? I guess
Speaker 3: I do not know what happened. It was like two
Speaker 3: days of barely being able to walk.
Speaker 1: It was awful.
Speaker 3: And then this morning I woke up and have a
Speaker 3: freaking crook in my neck and I was like, what
Speaker 3: is wrong?
Speaker 1: Like that just falling apart. We got perimenopas, broken bags,
Speaker 1: like as I got my tailbhone drama back. So I'm
Speaker 1: really in case. This isn't good posture. This is me
Speaker 1: my backside. We're changing the name from wind Down the
Speaker 1: forties and.
Speaker 3: That's the problem is that's my Worry's my wine about it?
Speaker 3: Maybe it's wind down.
Speaker 1: And can't get up? Maybe that's the new title.
Speaker 3: It was so.
Speaker 1: Badly agree that you get it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because now I get it because I've never had
Speaker 3: a back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got promotion. You will always.
Speaker 2: It's like you are always maybe always, but you might
Speaker 2: have just tweaked it a bit. But this is this
Speaker 2: the beginning, This is the beginning of then friend on
Speaker 2: this uplift, I'm I'm getting a back oblation, speaking of.
Speaker 3: Back, so what is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I feel scary.
Speaker 2: So I was going to get it done before the movie,
Speaker 2: but you have to do these ablasion tests so you can't.
Speaker 2: They basically they put a needle in your back. So
Speaker 2: I went to the back doctor finally because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I can't sleep, it hurts, it's a constant looking pain,
Speaker 2: and I need to know about this bellow our back.
Speaker 2: So I've I'm here. I had an L three L
Speaker 2: four dis bulge that I've been dealing with. I finally
Speaker 2: a year almost a year later, because it happened in August.
Speaker 2: I went to the back doctor a couple of months
Speaker 2: ago and I was like, I can't sleep, I'm I'm
Speaker 2: just in pain, and I'm this is so uncomfortable every
Speaker 2: time I feel it. Every time I'm going to my
Speaker 2: right side in my back and it shoots down my leg.
Speaker 2: So he takes the X ray, he looks at my
Speaker 2: MRI and he's like, I actually think it's because it's
Speaker 2: connected to the you know, it's the nerve. He's like,
Speaker 2: I think it's this is what your problem is. And
Speaker 2: they're they're very good with not doing because once you
Speaker 2: have a back surgery, you're just it's not good.
Speaker 1: So I know this is yes, resident rod Toading back.
Speaker 2: So he's like, I think you'd be a really good
Speaker 2: candidate for an ablationon. So what they do They do
Speaker 2: two tests where they're going to put a needle in
Speaker 2: my back to where the nerve is, and they're going
Speaker 2: to put light a cane in it. If that works,
Speaker 2: that's what the problem is. And then what happens is
Speaker 2: I do one more test of light a caine with
Speaker 2: a needle. If my symptoms are seventy to eighty percent better,
Speaker 2: then they'll go forward with the full ablazion, which they
Speaker 2: go in with this needle and this thing, and they
Speaker 2: fry off my nerve. So I essentially I lose that
Speaker 2: nerve to go and I'm like, great, like something needs
Speaker 2: to be done. So I have that oblazion rescheduled for
Speaker 2: the tester and a weak or so, so I'll let
Speaker 2: you know how that goes.
Speaker 1: Sounds really painful to me.
Speaker 2: I but I just don't, you know, I mean, like
Speaker 2: I don't even care. But it's basically like an epidural
Speaker 2: thing going in there, and like again, so probably can't
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: Hopefully not. Okay, So right now I'm in I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't sleep, you guys. First of all, as if,
Speaker 1: as if in our ripe forties we needed any other
Speaker 1: reasons to lose sleep, you know, Like I'm already three
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning, you know, but it's like it's
Speaker 1: hurting so bad. It's like burning the tailbone. And I
Speaker 1: think it might be from four flights and forty eight
Speaker 1: hours when I did that key West quick trip. But
Speaker 1: that's also really ridiculous, and that what's wrong with your tailbone? Well,
Speaker 1: it's just after the baby. It's brained after delivery. But
Speaker 1: I got myself back to a pretty good position, I thought.
Speaker 1: But now we're it's like hurting it keeping me awake. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know. I'm interested to know your back, doctor is.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it great. Over in Nashville, Franklin, I
Speaker 1: hit Bonum Blaze. It's Ablazion is really aggressive. It's like
Speaker 1: outer space to me. I don't know why. Yea anyways,
Speaker 1: So that's.
Speaker 3: Our So that's that's the haven we figure out if
Speaker 3: you're a menopause yet.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I did my blood work yesterday with Nate.
Speaker 2: So I walked in there and I'm like, hey, buddy,
Speaker 2: how you say every day?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Hey buddy, I was like, what is going on?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yes, so TVD mine mine's back today too. Okay, that
Speaker 1: means I'm next. Yeah, so let's move on to wine
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Every time that was my whine about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did get a promotional package in the male
Speaker 2: promotional package.
Speaker 1: Not a promotional package from one of our favorite b
Speaker 1: our our I was like, and you, guys, I almost
Speaker 1: sent you the picture. It literally is all It's not
Speaker 1: just perimenopausal support, it's literally menopause important. And I thought
Speaker 1: it was sweet when they reached out because I'm an
Speaker 1: a you know, I'm an ant client of theirs and
Speaker 1: they send it to me and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: they really we're really just into a whole other chapter.
Speaker 1: Like I mean, all of it is literally the support,
Speaker 1: and I thought this is something I know. I know.
Speaker 1: Are you guys struggling with getting older?
Speaker 3: I mean, besides my body hurting, no, I don't want
Speaker 3: my body to fall apart, but besides that.
Speaker 1: Not really.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Actually, so I would like to say I'm not, but
Speaker 1: I might be a little. Yeah, depends what day of
Speaker 1: the month, right, But I would say, like a few
Speaker 1: weeks ago, I was really struggling because I don't I
Speaker 1: starting to feel it's weird to I don't feel my
Speaker 1: age except for the bust and tipping, but like, you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't I feel like we're I don't know,
Speaker 1: we're just constantly all operating in like this way. I
Speaker 1: don't I feel like we're all very young. We're in shape,
Speaker 1: we're trying, you know, like we're taking supplements and we're
Speaker 1: like we tease that were in the forties. But for
Speaker 1: the most part, I mean, we're all just like little
Speaker 1: go getters. And I just hit this time in the day.
Speaker 1: I looked in the mirror and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that can't be accurate, you know. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: you I think I'm teetering.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love I love being in my forties, but
Speaker 2: I know what comes after forties, and I think that
Speaker 2: goes ooh. But I also think there's maybe peace in
Speaker 2: the fifties. Think about it, you know, and so that's yeah,
Speaker 2: but maybe there is, because right now is such a
Speaker 2: I think what I need to kind of focus back
Speaker 2: on is I don't want the forties to go by
Speaker 2: and it be so rushed and chaotic and crazy because
Speaker 2: of the life that we have with the young young
Speaker 2: right and it's just like a So I want to
Speaker 2: try to find like I want to try to find
Speaker 2: a and I do enjoy it, but I also don't
Speaker 2: want to feel like I keep missing just not having
Speaker 2: like honest not having deep conversations in the connection, missing
Speaker 2: the connection that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Way less deep. But I have been like thinking about
Speaker 1: cutting my hair for a long time just because it's
Speaker 1: Pam just cut there and so I but it's weird,
Speaker 1: like it's just a weird thing because I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't want to be the older Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: want to be the older girl, like right now it's
Speaker 1: crazy long. But I'm also like, I just it's like
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the older girl with way
Speaker 1: too much you know, that's always kind of a creepy
Speaker 1: vibe when sorry, I'll just just prepare myself for the
Speaker 1: DM as I say things. But you know, when it's
Speaker 1: like super long and and you're older and it just
Speaker 1: doesn't look as healthy. But then I also I'm like,
Speaker 1: well I'm now at that age or if I cut
Speaker 1: it short, is it hot? Or did I just put
Speaker 1: myself into category? Right?
Speaker 4: M right.
Speaker 3: It's hard tricky times navigating, you know, it's interesting. I
Speaker 3: just did you see that post by Candice Beret? I
Speaker 3: think that's how you say she just cut her too. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but did you see her post about how she gets
Speaker 3: all the DMS about looking old.
Speaker 1: Oh because she doesn't, because she.
Speaker 3: Does any like botox and stuff like. It's that kind
Speaker 3: of stuff that I'm like, like, I don't think any
Speaker 3: of us look really old yet, you know, like we
Speaker 3: haven't started, and I don't think she does. I think
Speaker 3: she looks beautiful, but I do think that will be
Speaker 3: kind of hard. I don't really care about well image
Speaker 3: stuff so much. But also if you had people coming
Speaker 3: at you, like telling you you look old and you
Speaker 3: look bad all the time, like that would suck.
Speaker 1: Like I look tired, hurts my heart, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did see this thing. I wish I could find
Speaker 1: it really quickly, could play it for you guys, because
Speaker 1: I saw this on Instagram and it was the most
Speaker 1: silly but enlightening. Should I try to find it? If
Speaker 1: you have yes, okay, because it literally plays right into
Speaker 1: this and it was almost like a perspective that I
Speaker 1: don't know that we.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's so I was speaking of perspective.
Speaker 2: There was something online that has been going around where
Speaker 2: it's an eighty year old body basically woke up and
Speaker 2: got to have the forty year old body again, and
Speaker 2: it was like it didn't. It didn't wake up in pain,
Speaker 2: it didn't wake up you know, aches and all that stuff.
Speaker 2: It got to wake up to a you know, a
Speaker 2: toddler at home and kids, and he's like in that person,
Speaker 2: they enjoyed all of that, and they instead of maybe
Speaker 2: skipping words when reading the bedtime story, read every single word.
Speaker 1: Because that it was.
Speaker 2: So it's basically like, enjoy the moment that you're in
Speaker 2: because when you're going to get there eighty, you're going
Speaker 2: to wish that you could have that snapshot again and
Speaker 2: like that moment again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I love I love that period.
Speaker 2: But to the Candice thing, I noticed it the first
Speaker 2: time because this has been it's been now a year
Speaker 2: that I haven't done botox, and I noticed on this
Speaker 2: last movie because the makeup artist, you know, obviously was
Speaker 2: putting makeup on my face and not wear makeup a lot,
Speaker 2: so I don't really see the creases. But when she was,
Speaker 2: you know, putting a decent amount of makeup on my
Speaker 2: face and towards the middle of the day, I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: like the makeup creases where my wrinkles are or my
Speaker 2: eyes are. I was like, this is I was like Hayley. Sorry, girl.
Speaker 2: I was like, come, I'm wrinkling out. She's like no,
Speaker 2: She's like I love it. She's like, I love your wrinkles.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, but seeing it was was challenging
Speaker 2: and so I still have just debated what I was
Speaker 2: going to what I'm going to do with that piece.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I just missed the day of us being
Speaker 3: able to age and like it be. Everyone is aging
Speaker 3: and everyone has wrinkles and it's beautiful. But now it's like, well, shit,
Speaker 3: can I age normally when everybody's getting botox? Which I've
Speaker 3: done botox. I'm not against it, yeah, just but it
Speaker 3: makes it that harder. Like if we were all in
Speaker 3: our forties and we all had wrinkles and it didn't
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It's kind of like we
Speaker 3: do it all together, but then when you have all
Speaker 3: these people who are doing all of that, it's like
Speaker 3: you can't. Then it starts to make you feel like
Speaker 3: you need to. I'm really going to try to find this.
Speaker 3: It's so good.
Speaker 1: The person that posted it, it's not on their story anymore,
Speaker 1: but it is literally this and the way he frames
Speaker 1: it is just so interesting because he's basically saying you
Speaker 1: can try, you could do all of that to look twenty,
Speaker 1: but we're just gonna know that you're sixty trying to
Speaker 1: look twenty. Right, No one's gonna think this guy's twenty
Speaker 1: years old. They're just gonna think you're a sixty year
Speaker 1: old that wants to look twenty. It was kind of
Speaker 1: like that perspective, and I was like, wow, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: would you ever not do botox? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'll say this. I you know, obviously
Speaker 1: during pregnancy didn't, and this time I was like wow,
Speaker 1: because I haven't seen a non botox forehead in a
Speaker 1: long time. It had been like five years. It's also
Speaker 1: strange to me, even for myself, that I do that,
Speaker 1: because I also I am so holistic in all the other
Speaker 1: areas of my life that I'm like, but then I'll
Speaker 1: just shoot my wrhead of bacteria. But I do just
Speaker 1: I love a clean forehead, so I don't know, like
Speaker 1: I'm clear, but I love watching women age, so.
Speaker 3: I feel love women with wrinkles and like personality to
Speaker 3: their faces. Well I didn't.
Speaker 1: I just had this kind of heart to heart with
Speaker 1: myself because I'm forty three and I thought, how long
Speaker 1: do I do this? You know, like I don't want
Speaker 1: to be I don't want to be fifty trying to
Speaker 1: look like I'm forty. I have really great genetics. My
Speaker 1: mom and my grandmother have beautiful skin, so it's like,
Speaker 1: I mean, even when my grandma passed away, she didn't
Speaker 1: look to her age. She was just stunning. So I thought,
Speaker 1: maybe it's just time. But I don't know when that happens.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Hm. I remember running into uh Jesse Decker's mom and
Speaker 2: I was like, you look beautiful, she said, I stopped
Speaker 2: all this and I was like, I wouldn't even know,
Speaker 2: but you look stunning. And I think there's something to
Speaker 2: be said for women that are aging that when you
Speaker 2: do too much you do to me, they always look older,
Speaker 2: you know. And when yeah, but also again, do what
Speaker 2: you want to do to your face and know all
Speaker 2: the things. And I'll probably do botox again, I think,
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe not get started, rancombized some creams
Speaker 2: that Nate just gave me, so TBD. My mom's never
Speaker 2: done it a day in her life, and.
Speaker 1: She looks great. She looks so young, So I do
Speaker 1: think it's tricky too, like for me I get really
Speaker 1: it gets very wrinkly, like it's it would be at
Speaker 1: resting wrinkly listen again, whatever. But there is a lot
Speaker 1: of things we can I'm learning about right now internally
Speaker 1: that helps support all of that too, so that maybe
Speaker 1: we don't treat it topically and we treat it more internally.
Speaker 2: I mean, I use my little blooming thing that I
Speaker 2: do the ads for. I got my red light. I'm
Speaker 2: just show you the creams. If it ends up working,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try it first to see. I use the
Speaker 2: bloomy too because you said it, and I use your
Speaker 2: code welcome crowl.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I have nothing to whine about.
Speaker 1: It's a fine day. That's I love it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got plenty that I could, but I
Speaker 2: feel really good. I feel grateful, schools all rest over.
Speaker 2: And this is what I'm gonna say. So this is
Speaker 2: like my my grateful about it. Okay, Okay, there we go.
Speaker 2: I love summer and I know that it's so crazy
Speaker 2: and Catoch and the kids are home, and I love it.
Speaker 2: I I don't know, I just I love summertime. And
Speaker 2: I think it's I'm looking forward to it and that
Speaker 2: is and I'm excited because there's a few things too
Speaker 2: that might be coming up in the pipeline that I
Speaker 2: just would be towards the end of summer, and it's like,
Speaker 2: all right, I'm gonna just really hone in focus on
Speaker 2: the kids. And I love that time when I'm not working.
Speaker 3: You know, I used to not love summer so much
Speaker 3: when they were younger. I love that, y'all do. But
Speaker 3: now I love it. Yeah, Now I like really look
Speaker 3: forward to it. I mean, I'm an uber driver, but
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think Kiden drives now, so that makes it easier.
Speaker 1: I also just think there's just such a you know,
Speaker 1: you've obviously we've all seen it, but like for you
Speaker 1: and I were halfway through, Kramer, We're we're nine summers
Speaker 1: into our eighteen summers. Yeah, I know, I don't know
Speaker 1: how Like I'm emotional for neighbors that have sent me
Speaker 1: graduation announcements. I'm like, this isn't even my child. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm still emotional.
Speaker 2: So when Maria Pam's daughter had her fifth grade walk
Speaker 2: through at a school, I was like, because, I mean
Speaker 2: I cried at church the other day. Because Jolie is
Speaker 2: now finally at the age that goes down to the
Speaker 2: front of the thing, and I was like, I've seen
Speaker 2: that when Dakota started that, like legend just wrapped up
Speaker 2: his games on the little fields and we've been out
Speaker 2: there for almost four years, that little four diamond, you know,
Speaker 2: and I just was like, and I'm watching, I'll get emotional.
Speaker 4: So ridiculous he's like six, but I'm like watching all
Speaker 4: of these like little cherub but like wild things just
Speaker 4: like run on the field and like it's so Sandlot feeling,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, man, it.
Speaker 1: Just is like I feel like I am so fully
Speaker 1: present and intentional with these kids in a way because
Speaker 1: I know I've heard it a million times we all
Speaker 1: have how fast it goes. But I stood out there
Speaker 1: other night and I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to another concession stand, you know, Like it's so silly,
Speaker 1: but it's such a magical season for them. Like you
Speaker 1: want them to get bigger and get better and have
Speaker 1: to move up, and you want the you know, the
Speaker 1: balls to just be crushed so far that like we're
Speaker 1: checking deductibles on cars now because they can't their home
Speaker 1: run balls need bigger fields. And it's awesome. It's just
Speaker 1: so bittersweet, like I'm about to have a second grader
Speaker 1: and a fourth grader and the baby's about to be
Speaker 1: two in like three weeks. That's weird. Yeah, and fast.
Speaker 3: Each season is so fun and so different though, and
Speaker 3: just so enjoyable in different ways.
Speaker 1: I know, I just am. I am soaking up the
Speaker 1: hem giving me the shout out at first base and
Speaker 1: the you know, like I know that they'll look different,
Speaker 1: and I think I never we still have that, but
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, it's different for sure. It's just that
Speaker 1: like like over the top, you know, like it's awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Chrissy teak and reveals she's let alcohol back into my life.
Speaker 1: It's a beast.
Speaker 2: She goes on to say that she was talking on
Speaker 2: a podcast and saying, hollywoodakerd change my life, change my perspective,
Speaker 2: and change how I view the effing beast that is alcohol.
Speaker 2: But to have to admit all of to you that
Speaker 2: I've led it back in my life, to let a
Speaker 2: lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply. I
Speaker 2: was so proud every time one of you told me
Speaker 2: on the street the Holly and I made you want
Speaker 2: to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am the truth is,
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm doing. I one hundred percent no.
Speaker 2: I like me better sober. I one hundred percent no.
Speaker 2: I get more done. I absolutely feel better in my
Speaker 2: body without it. And I'm one hundred percent pissed that
Speaker 2: I can't be normal and have a cock with my
Speaker 2: husband on VAKA without it turning into eight and feeling
Speaker 2: like so a few things with us A. How do
Speaker 2: you guys feel that she came out talking about this
Speaker 2: and what are your thoughts on that.
Speaker 3: I like that she's kind of talking about it while
Speaker 3: she's in it. I mean, I know that can't be easy,
Speaker 3: and it wouldn't be easy for a lot of people,
Speaker 3: but I think it's kind of cool for everyone who
Speaker 3: may be struggling with this to kind of see her
Speaker 3: ups and downs and kind of see, you know, the
Speaker 3: in between, and because she doesn't know what she's doing,
Speaker 3: she's trying to just do it on her own, and
Speaker 3: you know, I think that that's cool. I can't imagine
Speaker 3: being in the position of not being able to just
Speaker 3: have one drink, you know. I mean, I've never been
Speaker 3: in that position. It's never been hard for me to
Speaker 3: have one drink and stop. It's never. But there are
Speaker 3: a lot of people who you know, they have one
Speaker 3: and then they have eight, like she said, and that's scary.
Speaker 3: So I think it's good that she's talking about it,
Speaker 3: and I hope for her say that she can get
Speaker 3: back to being sober, because you know, having eight cannot
Speaker 3: be healthy.
Speaker 1: Sure, I didn't realize she had an issue with this.
Speaker 2: To be honest, I didn't either. But I don't follow her. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't follow herself.
Speaker 3: I remember that I don't like her.
Speaker 1: I just don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I follow her either. I think
Speaker 3: I used to, but I think I kind of just
Speaker 3: unfollowed a bunch of different like celebrities and stuff. But
Speaker 3: I remembered seeing that she was sober, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I didn't know she had an issue. So I did
Speaker 3: see that when she had, when she had.
Speaker 2: Said that, I mean, I love it when anyone can
Speaker 2: take accountability for things. I'm dealing with something right now
Speaker 2: where a person won't take accountability, and it's it's and
Speaker 2: I had had to send a text message to this
Speaker 2: person to say nothing, nothing will change if you don't
Speaker 2: hold yourself accountable and accountable to other people. Now, and
Speaker 2: this person's like, you just want me to scream it
Speaker 2: from the rooftops. I'm like, I actually don't. But if
Speaker 2: you if someone asks you what happened and you lie
Speaker 2: to them, that is completely feeding your addiction of lying
Speaker 2: and also feeding the problem of what truly happened, Like
Speaker 2: you should be honest if someone asks you what happened,
Speaker 2: hold yourself accountable, like be accountable for your actions. And
Speaker 2: you know, I think she doesn't have to share this,
Speaker 2: but the fact that she is I have mad respect
Speaker 2: for because she's wanting, I think, in that change and
Speaker 2: you know, and she's trying to figure it out. And
Speaker 2: I think that's a very vulnerable place to be to
Speaker 2: be like, this is what happened, and this is I
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm trying to figure it out. And
Speaker 2: I think that is that's a place of someone that
Speaker 2: is open and willing to have growth.
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree.
Speaker 2: And as far as alcohol, I mean, you know, I
Speaker 2: Alan hasn't had a drink in I think over two months.
Speaker 2: He started it as like a month journey thing, and
Speaker 2: you know, he's like, I don't know if I'll ever
Speaker 2: have a drink again. And it is not that he
Speaker 2: has a problem, but he also knows that it's kind
Speaker 2: of that where it's like it's not just one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, it's always like more after and is that healthy?
Speaker 2: Note because he wakes up and he feels like crap,
Speaker 2: but he you know, and and so I mean he
Speaker 2: mentioned something like maybe when we go on a vacation,
Speaker 2: I'll have one at the pool or something like that,
Speaker 2: or you know, he just likes the way he feels better.
Speaker 2: And honestly, the last time I had a glass of
Speaker 2: wine was two movies ago or the last what was it,
Speaker 2: West Virginia movie, and it was I don't like the
Speaker 2: how I feel. I feel like crap. But it doesn't
Speaker 2: mean I'm never going to drink again. But I also
Speaker 2: can stop at two glasses of wine a ukro NIGHTE like,
Speaker 2: I'll have wine for you. That's probably the first time
Speaker 2: I'll drink since that March time or whenever. Yeah, And and
Speaker 2: I went on a date and I had a half
Speaker 2: a glass of wine.
Speaker 1: That's the only time I drink wine now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like there's a piece of me that misses,
Speaker 2: like even last night, I goes, God, I could really
Speaker 2: use a glass of wine, and I almost did, but
Speaker 2: I Honestly, I don't have bottles here anymore. Like I
Speaker 2: don't keep my wine here anymore. So I've saved a
Speaker 2: lot of money.
Speaker 1: Now fine wine.
Speaker 3: You know, the only thing Jana Kramer spent money on
Speaker 3: ladies and gentlemen was wine. Why really good wine? Really
Speaker 3: good or not at all?
Speaker 1: That's how I roll. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 2: I mean, like I've I have bottles in my thing
Speaker 2: for like my mom when she comes, but I won't.
Speaker 2: I don't my mom will drink the fifteen dollars bottles.
Speaker 2: I don't like those. There's no point for me to drink.
Speaker 2: I want the nice ones that taste really good.
Speaker 1: And so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I went in there and I'm like, I
Speaker 2: wonder if I have anything in there. The only thing
Speaker 2: in there was a Camus Special Select, which is my favorite,
Speaker 2: but it was one of those big magnum ones, and like,
Speaker 2: I'm not wasting that for one So I was like,
Speaker 2: I'll save that for a girl's uker night. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so I just am like, there are times when I
Speaker 2: do want it, but it's not ever, it will never
Speaker 2: be how it was right when I used to drink
Speaker 2: every single night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one thing for me, And she kind of said
Speaker 3: this in there. I don't have to be in situations
Speaker 3: anymore where I'm uncomfortable to where I need it, and
Speaker 3: she had mentioned that that was me. Yeah, and it
Speaker 3: wouldn't be eight, it would be one, but I would
Speaker 3: need a glass of wine to socially loosen up, you know.
Speaker 3: And so I'm not in those positions as much anymore.
Speaker 3: And I think that's been huge for me because I
Speaker 3: don't I don't like that. I don't like that feeling
Speaker 3: like that you have to have alcohol to be able
Speaker 3: to talk to people and feel comfortable, like I never
Speaker 3: liked that feeling. So it's interesting she brought that up
Speaker 3: because she's in that position a lot. I'm sure if
Speaker 3: she has any kind of social anxiety at all, that's uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: But I do enjoy when we are social, which we
Speaker 3: talked about last episode. We haven't been very social. I
Speaker 3: do enjoy having a drink when i'm social. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: just think that it's fun. I'm not going to drink
Speaker 3: at home by myself, but when we're together, it just
Speaker 3: it makes it feel it just I don't need it,
Speaker 3: but I think it's fun. So I think the more
Speaker 3: social we are. I might drink a little bit more,
Speaker 3: but I love a good glass of wine. I super
Speaker 3: love a good glass of wine with dinner, like a great.
Speaker 2: I know, right, But like even that, I fall in
Speaker 2: the habit though, which is I gotta be careful of that,
Speaker 2: so I can fall in the habit of having the
Speaker 2: glass of wine every night.
Speaker 1: So I can't. Yeah, I can't either, really well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just can't anymore. It's good and.
Speaker 2: I don't anymore, but I could be that I love
Speaker 2: like when you say you yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Love it too. But that's how it's meant to be.
Speaker 1: I think it's like it paired and enjoyed and all
Speaker 1: the things. I just it's like, now, what do I
Speaker 1: like better? Sleeper? Wine? Sleep? You know. So I'm kind
Speaker 1: of like even in this season we're at two. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like even when Preston's home, He's like, baby, tonight, are
Speaker 1: we going to open up a good bottle of wine?
Speaker 1: Like we just don't drink at home. I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1: And then we get to like thirty and he's like
Speaker 1: popcorn and I'm like, I might have an ollipop. Oh man,
Speaker 1: this is and on this episode of being old, I
Speaker 1: will say though I used to love a dirty martini.
Speaker 1: Your girl over here a dirty Voka martini was Oh, like,
Speaker 1: I do like cocktails. I loved it. And since the baby,
Speaker 1: I cannot do it. I want to be able to
Speaker 1: do it, and I can't do it for some reason.
Speaker 1: Are any of you guys following the Ditty case a
Speaker 1: little bit? Yes, I'm not, I am following. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even say this, but fifty cent? What have you followed?
Speaker 1: Fifty cents? He is going after Diddy? Oh good, I
Speaker 1: would say that. Yeah, is he? I'm going to be
Speaker 1: on the stand, I don't think. So he's in the court,
Speaker 1: he's outside of the courthouse right now with the shirt
Speaker 1: really fifty cent. So he's convinced it's free Diddy these
Speaker 1: shirts everyone's wearing. Oh wait, this is my extent of knowledge. Wait,
Speaker 1: he's for Ditty.
Speaker 3: No, no, he's saying the free Diddy.
Speaker 1: He's saying people are getting paid to wear the free
Speaker 1: Diddy shirts outside of the courthouse, and that those people
Speaker 1: there's no possible way those people really care or I know.
Speaker 1: And so that to frame again, like just to enlighten media,
Speaker 1: our brains. Media, right, we see people with a sea
Speaker 1: of shirts to say free Diddy, and and he's saying
Speaker 1: those shirts are supplied those people or getting paid to
Speaker 1: do it? Are they? I don't know, but that is
Speaker 1: that wouldn't have crossed my mind if I saw it,
Speaker 1: to be honest, Oh it would have mine. I know,
Speaker 1: it would have kick cats out of the bag. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's just so there's a lot stuff where it's.
Speaker 2: I've the things that I've seen what they're they're talking about,
Speaker 2: what the prosecution that the people that are going to
Speaker 2: go against Cassie and say well, this is what she did.
Speaker 2: And there's nothing more frustrating than when that person tries
Speaker 2: to then go after the victim to be like, well
Speaker 2: you did X, Y and Z. It's like, did anyone
Speaker 2: watch the tape? Can we play can we play back
Speaker 2: the hotel tape? I remember when I went to court
Speaker 2: for the case that the guy tried to kill me,
Speaker 2: his lawyer goes, did you have to drink that night?
Speaker 1: And I was like, long drink?
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, wild like and I just remember going,
Speaker 2: is this really?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: My lawyer was like what He's like, Well, because she
Speaker 2: might not have an impaired I was like, did you
Speaker 2: see the bruises? Like you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: I had to like one maybe or two he said,
Speaker 2: well you were impaired then, so what your statement to
Speaker 2: I mean, I just was like, how how does that?
Speaker 2: How do I don't and I'll never understand. I know
Speaker 2: everyone has to have a lawyer to have the person
Speaker 2: to fight for them. Fine, but it's to Oh, it's
Speaker 2: just dirty.
Speaker 1: It also feels a little guilty to me to have
Speaker 1: to go and attack someone like that. Like I don't
Speaker 1: even know if I'm going to phrase that correctly, but
Speaker 1: if you have to go and like start attacking in
Speaker 1: these attacking someone's character in that way, that makes me
Speaker 1: feel like he's got even more that he's Well.
Speaker 3: That's always going to be the case. They're always going
Speaker 3: to do that. They're always going to try to make
Speaker 3: them look not credible. That's their job, that's what they're
Speaker 3: going to do. And I think that's you know that
Speaker 3: going into it, probably if your lawyer has prepared you
Speaker 3: for that, But like, also, are you really prepared to
Speaker 3: be attacked when you're the victim.
Speaker 1: But you know, my thought is if she's willing, she
Speaker 1: has to know every time she knows, and she's still unafraid, Yeah,
Speaker 1: then there's some fish to fry because she she knows
Speaker 1: the truth, and she knows all the things they're going
Speaker 1: to try to say about her. She knows all her insecurity,
Speaker 1: she knows all of the dark parts, and she still
Speaker 1: doesn't care whatever that is, whatever that is is worth
Speaker 1: being brought to light to her than him going another day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so many people that have been involved are
Speaker 3: too scared or do not want to get involved. But
Speaker 3: then the other two women, and I don't know their names,
Speaker 3: I apologize, but I had just read this, but the
Speaker 3: two women who apparently were involved, and one had said,
Speaker 3: you know, I was here and he did this. We
Speaker 3: were both there, this is what happened X, Y and Z.
Speaker 3: And then the other girl came out and was like, well,
Speaker 3: that wasn't what I remembered. Well, now they're saying that
Speaker 3: he paid her off, you know, for her to come
Speaker 3: out and say that's not how it happened. That's not
Speaker 3: how you know, And so it's like, how do you
Speaker 3: even know? That's where I get so overwhelmed by these cases,
Speaker 3: and I love to follow them, but my brain just
Speaker 3: gets so reloaded because it's like what's truth and what's not?
Speaker 3: When it's these high powerful people who pay people off,
Speaker 3: you know. So it's and it can be both ways.
Speaker 3: I mean, you can be paying someone to say something
Speaker 3: bad too, So it's it's a struggle for me in
Speaker 3: these situations to really sift through all of the information.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know there was an article about I
Speaker 3: don't know, there's been so.
Speaker 1: Much but that it's a lot and it's dark. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is. And I think what's interesting is probably the
Speaker 1: three of us two have at least a little bit
Speaker 1: of a perspective when it comes to music industry and
Speaker 1: how easy some of this could be to be true,
Speaker 1: and like the people wanting their break and they're wanting
Speaker 1: their big chance and the things that are promised and
Speaker 1: if you just do this, and how easy your integrity
Speaker 1: can get compromised, or who you know to be can
Speaker 1: be compromised because you're so wrapped up in the chase
Speaker 1: of it or the promise of it, or just well.
Speaker 3: The one woman I was talking about, he handled her finances,
Speaker 3: he had her record deal, he had all the things,
Speaker 3: So like, can you blame her for going okay when
Speaker 3: he says, you know, if he paid her to say that,
Speaker 3: That's not how it happened. Sure, part of me is like,
Speaker 3: can you blame her? I mean, like, what is she
Speaker 3: supposed to do?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know, she probably has no one in her life,
Speaker 3: not saying she doesn't, but probably Key's promised her this,
Speaker 3: He's got her finances, her record deal, all the things.
Speaker 3: It's just so deep and so convoluted that you almost
Speaker 3: can't blame the people that weren't able to speak up
Speaker 3: against it. Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2: Listener advice. I'm a big fan of the podcast and
Speaker 2: love listening to your advice every week. I found myself
Speaker 2: in a situation I could use some advice on. My
Speaker 2: ex husband and I got divorced three years ago because
Speaker 2: I found out he was cheating on me with multiple women.
Speaker 2: We have a good co parenting relationship and have moved
Speaker 2: on to new relationships. Recently, my daughter and I went
Speaker 2: on a who I share with him and I went
Speaker 2: on a weekend trip with my ex husband and oh sorry,
Speaker 2: and my ex husband gave her his iPad to use
Speaker 2: to watch movies on the airplane. Long story short, my
Speaker 2: exes logged into his text messages on his iPad and
Speaker 2: while my daughter was using the iPad, there were a
Speaker 2: lot of inappropriate and graphic text messages that kept popping up.
Speaker 2: She told me about seeing a gross picture and I
Speaker 2: instantly took the iPad away. I went to the messages
Speaker 2: to see what she was talking about, and there I
Speaker 2: found multiple text threads to different women that confirm my
Speaker 2: husband is cheating on his current girlfriend. Sorry, my ex
Speaker 2: husband is cheating on his current girlfriend. I am so
Speaker 2: disgusted by him, but also not surprised that he hasn't changed.
Speaker 2: My question for you girls is what do I do
Speaker 2: now knowing this information? Do I tell his girlfriend that
Speaker 2: he's cheating on her? She's also supposed to move in
Speaker 2: with him soon, and I don't want my daughter to
Speaker 2: go through another broken relationship when this all blows up.
Speaker 2: Please give me all your advice on what I should do.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Love you girls.
Speaker 3: Kat Well, First of all, couldn't care less about the
Speaker 3: current girlfriend. I go into mom mode. You have this
Speaker 3: stuff on an iPad you gave my child. I would
Speaker 3: absolutely lose my mind. I would do anything in my
Speaker 3: power to make sure that that could absolutely never happen again.
Speaker 3: You know, when a child sees pornographic material, their life
Speaker 3: is never the same and when it happens young, it
Speaker 3: usually becomes a major problem.
Speaker 1: So something left untreated, unhelped, unhealed.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, so that would be my focus. My
Speaker 3: focus would be what do I can I do in
Speaker 3: my power to make sure that this never gets seen
Speaker 3: in front of my child Again, I don't care about
Speaker 3: the girlfriend personally whatever you know, well the moving in,
Speaker 3: But at the same time, like to me, it's just
Speaker 3: fixed that problem and what you have to do first
Speaker 3: for that. I don't know what the legal situations are
Speaker 3: and what you can do, but I would do anything
Speaker 3: to have my child not.
Speaker 1: Be around that. Yeah, isn't there something I mean that
Speaker 1: has to fall into some sort of neglect category? I
Speaker 1: would think from a parenting perspective, I think abuse of
Speaker 1: some sort, even if it's indirect, because that's just not appropriate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a really tricky position, especially with a girlfriend moving in.
Speaker 1: I care about the girlfriend knowing because if you and
Speaker 1: this is from the mom point of view too, because
Speaker 1: you don't need more transition and more In my brain, Cramer,
Speaker 1: we should probably let you speak to this because you
Speaker 1: are is someone that co parents. But my heart of
Speaker 1: hearts is that it's just another transition another person they
Speaker 1: have to know that they probably don't get to keep,
Speaker 1: and specifically if they're moving into the house that is,
Speaker 1: that's a lot for children to process, good or bad.
Speaker 1: It can be magical, and it's still a lot for
Speaker 1: them to process. So someone's moved in and then finds
Speaker 1: us out and then potentially moves out, then we're just
Speaker 1: this is just a lot for kids. Yes, it's a
Speaker 1: protective kid.
Speaker 3: My guess is that girlfriend's not even gonna care, not
Speaker 3: even do anything about it. I think, Kat, and I
Speaker 3: just feel like I've just feel like it's and we've
Speaker 3: all been in that position. Women don't just listen at
Speaker 3: first to coming because.
Speaker 2: The usually a man who cheats is so good yep
Speaker 2: at covering up his lies, to cover up his lies,
Speaker 2: to cover up his lies, and the person that he's
Speaker 2: with is used to that manipulation and that cycle, and
Speaker 2: it's usually the person will say, don't listen to the
Speaker 2: ex wife because she's fucking crazy. Usually that person doesn't
Speaker 2: like the co parent because the X has brainwashed the
Speaker 2: person to not like the person the last wife. So
Speaker 2: to your point, Kat, yeah, I mean I'm sure I
Speaker 2: would if if I was in this situation. A hundred
Speaker 2: percent go, I'd go mom mode with what I need
Speaker 2: to do with that all, you know, the messages and everything,
Speaker 2: but beyond that, like I would, I would because it
Speaker 2: is I don't want the more change for the kids
Speaker 2: and you know, for the daughter, So I would. But
Speaker 2: what I would say to tell this person is screenshot
Speaker 2: and have proof, because if not, they're gonna yeah, They're
Speaker 2: going to talk around it, and then the person will
Speaker 2: most likely be like.
Speaker 1: This person's about to say all this, but this isn't.
Speaker 2: True, and then you're going to see just more lies.
Speaker 2: And it's really good information for that person to have
Speaker 2: to have that guy lie to them and then see
Speaker 2: the inner workings of how they lie and it's like no, no,
Speaker 2: but here's the proof, right that wasn't Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: And so I think you get a lot of information
Speaker 2: in that in that piece, but and it's not and
Speaker 2: it's it's also to end up protecting the kids to
Speaker 2: like you said, yeah, I know you don't care about
Speaker 2: the girl.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not saying I don't. I think I
Speaker 3: just would focus solely on that first. Yes, not saying
Speaker 3: I wouldn't tell a girlfriend necessarily. I just think that
Speaker 3: that's kind of the least of my worries in that moment,
Speaker 3: m just because it can be so detrimental to their
Speaker 3: their health and their growth.
Speaker 2: And yeah, but that is a that's a sticky situation
Speaker 2: to be in. And also, you know, isn't it just
Speaker 2: great validation when that I mean, there's a piece in
Speaker 2: this where it's like it happened again, and there's a
Speaker 2: there's a lovely validation that comes with that to go, Okay,
Speaker 2: it wasn't me and this is just who he is.
Speaker 1: Yep. And I also would advise to just go slow.
Speaker 1: I think the protective part of us, at least in
Speaker 1: my experience, for anything, the protective part of me just
Speaker 1: goes leads and it does. It's almost animalistic. And it's
Speaker 1: like I would just encourage you to get all of
Speaker 1: your ducks in a row, super tidy, like Creamer saying,
Speaker 1: get the footage, document it, make sure you have and
Speaker 1: own those screenshots and that stuff. So that because there's
Speaker 1: a manipulator like this knows how to manipulate in ways
Speaker 1: I mean, in so many intelligent ways they manipulate, but
Speaker 1: then also in so many ridiculously ask nine ways to
Speaker 1: leave something like that, don't get it to it to
Speaker 1: be so stupid. Yeah, cheaters are stupid. They are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sounds so. But also just go slow, like really be
Speaker 1: intentional and thorough is what I want her to hear. Well, ladies,
Speaker 1: this was nice to be back together again. Welcome and
Speaker 1: thankful to have you Kramer. Let's get that summer schedule going. Guys,
Speaker 1: here we go, last week of school.
Speaker 3: And we've already got one thing on the books. What's
Speaker 3: up for her to hanging out? Oh yeah, see, look
Speaker 3: at us. We made it happen.
Speaker 1: And Catherine's like, do I have to dress up?
Speaker 3: I know, making me dress a hybrid?
Speaker 1: We're in a hybrid. Okay, okay, bye bye.
Speaker 3: M hmm