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Speaker 1: Hi everybody, and welcome to Katie's Crib. Who boy, this

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Speaker 1: is an exciting episode. Last year I sent out a

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Speaker 1: tweet and I said, what episodes should we cover next season?

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Speaker 1: In season two and the biggest thing we got was

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Speaker 1: an episode featuring Shaan the Land Moms. And so we

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Speaker 1: bring to you today Camilla Lettington of Grey's Anatomy and

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Speaker 1: car lessons of How to Get Away with Murder. You guys,

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Speaker 1: this is thank you so much both of you for

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Speaker 1: being here. Um, thank you, thank you for those of

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Speaker 1: you out here who don't know. And there may be

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Speaker 1: some moms that are moms and don't watch either of

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Speaker 1: your show, although I recommend them highly. Um. Camilla stars

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Speaker 1: as great on Grey's Anatomy as Joe, and Carlo stars

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Speaker 1: on How to Get Away with Murder as laurel Um.

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Speaker 1: I don't know they're the character's last names. I just

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Speaker 1: get married. So mind's carab now off and then Castillo

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Speaker 1: Castillo lovely. Um, you guys, there's not really like a

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Speaker 1: exact topic of this episode. Uh, We're just going to

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Speaker 1: talk about highs and loaves about being a new mom.

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Speaker 1: You can read all the books, you can hear all

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Speaker 1: the advice, but at the end of the day, you

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Speaker 1: and your partner are the ones making the decisions and

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Speaker 1: caring for a wonderful and amazing and often unpredictable, freaking baby.

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Speaker 1: Um So, guys, how has motherhood been treating you? Let's

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Speaker 1: start with you, Carla, How has motherhood been treating you? No,

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Speaker 1: how has how his mother had been treating you? I

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Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, So, Hayden is currently twenty twenty one months,

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Speaker 1: and so I feel like I've just gotten some sleep back.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like I've normalized a little bit, because

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Speaker 1: there was a point in the early days when she

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Speaker 1: was newborn where I had never thrown up from being

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Speaker 1: so tired, and I puked from being tired, like maybe

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Speaker 1: about five times. Like I've never felt that kind of

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Speaker 1: exhaustion before. And so now I feel like I'm out

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Speaker 1: of it a little bit. Like I feel like I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can sleep, so there's light outside, that there's light,

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Speaker 1: there's light comes three times last night. I'm like, carl

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Speaker 1: you have how old is your dines about to turn

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Speaker 1: eight months in like three days or something? Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: in the minute She started off, though, you know, kind

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Speaker 1: of teasing me and sleeping twelve hours a night, and

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Speaker 1: so I was like, you know, everyone's like, how's the

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Speaker 1: sleeping going. I'm like, oh, you know, yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: little difficult, But in my head, I was like amazing.

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Speaker 1: And then suddenly at month four, she's like ha ha,

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Speaker 1: and now she's waking up at like one, at four,

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Speaker 1: at five. You know, it's ridiculous. Is she teething? She

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Speaker 1: was teething. So I was like, oh, it's just the

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Speaker 1: teething and now and now I don't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: she's I just feel like there's a tooth coming in

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Speaker 1: every week. They like it's two years plus. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: something like that. Because just getting his four Moeller's right now,

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Speaker 1: he's fourteen months. Um, great some motherhood. What we have

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Speaker 1: in common. Everyone's exhausted. Do you guys think that mom

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Speaker 1: brain is a real thing forgetting stuff? Do you think

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Speaker 1: that's because you're so tired. Yeah. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: times when I start conversations with Matt and then I

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Speaker 1: just don't even finish my sentence and I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I don't even want to talk about this anymore,

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Speaker 1: because you guys, on Katie's Crib, we cover a wide

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Speaker 1: range of topics. And one of the things that's crazy

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Speaker 1: that we we obviously this is all common between the

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Speaker 1: three of us, and we don't we haven't talked about yet,

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Speaker 1: is what was it like for you guys to be

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Speaker 1: pregnant on TV? Well, first off, I felt really um,

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Speaker 1: I felt light to quite frankly about pregnancy. I thought

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Speaker 1: that like you were this goddess and you felt amazing

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Speaker 1: and you. I hated pregnancy more than you'll ever know, Like,

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Speaker 1: I absolutely hated it. I had the worst morning sickness

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Speaker 1: that didn't stop. Mean, like, I think I didn't know

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Speaker 1: until maybe I was almost close to like six months pregnant,

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Speaker 1: that you could take something for being six I thought, like,

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Speaker 1: there's no way that you're allowed to take something lollipops

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Speaker 1: or whatever, right, Oh, no, I mean you can take

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Speaker 1: like a drug. The lollipops did not help me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's some there's some prescription that you can get from

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Speaker 1: your aynecologists if your morning signals is debilitating in such ways.

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Speaker 1: And I mean I was like, I remember that I

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Speaker 1: hadn't announced my pregnancy yet and I was in the

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Speaker 1: parking lot of Whole Foods and I threw up in

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Speaker 1: the middle of it on. Matt was actually like wearing

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Speaker 1: like open tow shoes. He was wearing some fliplops situation.

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Speaker 1: I threw up on his feet. And so for me,

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Speaker 1: I was like when we were Scrubs, when we were

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Speaker 1: like wear the scrub outfit um with the in the

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Speaker 1: o r. It gets really hot under the lights. So

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Speaker 1: I almost fainted one day. I puked into a trash

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Speaker 1: can nearby in a scene. Yeah, people just thought I

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Speaker 1: was hungover, which I thought, you know, I've still got

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Speaker 1: the cool factor. I was like, I've got this crazy,

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Speaker 1: amazing social life. And because the show is supposedly set

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Speaker 1: in Philly and we're you know, dying of heat in

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Speaker 1: l A with our coats and jackets in our Oh

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Speaker 1: it's so cold outside. I was dripping, dripping, and everyone's

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Speaker 1: like are you okay? And you those little fans that

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Speaker 1: they bring us, they're like, you know, Carla needs a

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Speaker 1: fan every second, and I so I had a fan.

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Speaker 1: But Liza was the first one that looked at me,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, like, pregnant. You know you're pregnant. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, do you guys ever go back and

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Speaker 1: watch the episodes where you were pregnant? Because I still.

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Speaker 1: I've talked about this before in the podcast. I can't.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I look so freaking pregnant. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: just so and I remember feeling, you know, there is

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Speaker 1: the whole thing of the camera adding ten pounds and

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Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, but I mean, I look

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Speaker 1: just giant, Like I can't. I cannot bring myself to

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Speaker 1: watch those episodes. It's it's not a glow, is what

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Speaker 1: I see. There's not a glow. Did it piss you

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Speaker 1: off when people would say that to you? Because I

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Speaker 1: hate that when people you have the glow, the pregnancy glow,

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Speaker 1: and I have to swear on this day. Yeah, yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: So I actually wanted to release the book well where

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Speaker 1: the Fox My Glow, Like that's what I talked about,

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Speaker 1: Like that was the book that I was going to do,

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Speaker 1: and I probably will still do it after like please

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Speaker 1: do we all need it? We will post. I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to be like sweaty on the cover, like disgusting

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Speaker 1: over a toilet, because that's I said, there is no glow.

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Speaker 1: And but you know, for me watching scenes back on grades,

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Speaker 1: it's not the same because we're in scrubs and it's

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Speaker 1: like being in pj's and a scrub coat, and it's

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Speaker 1: like it's different. You guys have to be in like

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Speaker 1: nice outfits. No qu yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I horrible. Quinn was in maternity jeans which was great,

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Speaker 1: and boots which was fine, and like so many cardigans.

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Speaker 1: It's insane. What did you have to wear? The cardigans? Bags, pillows,

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Speaker 1: file case files, you know whatever it was, but still

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Speaker 1: in cute outfits. I'm still in cute outfits. I still

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Speaker 1: haven't seen it though, so I don't know. But one

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Speaker 1: person did call me. My uncle from New York called

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Speaker 1: me and said, hey, I'm no genius, but he is

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Speaker 1: a deep though, and he's like, they're doing all close

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Speaker 1: ups on you. What's up? You know? And I like

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Speaker 1: that one that noticed from not even knowing, because I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I felt so bad. I hadn't released the infot to

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Speaker 1: my family either, like no one even knew. So he's

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Speaker 1: the only one that clocked that. After Laurel had given birth,

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Speaker 1: then suddenly Laurel started getting weight. It was like, so

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Speaker 1: your character, right, your character had the baby before you

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Speaker 1: before I so I almost had like they did they

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Speaker 1: write it in they knew? No, So I am an

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Speaker 1: actress that Laurel got pregnant. I was like, I need to,

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Speaker 1: you know, like husband of mine, I need to get

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Speaker 1: pregnant too because my character. So yeah, so I really

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Speaker 1: my character was pregnant. Your character was pre and my

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Speaker 1: character gave birth in in Joe Morton Papa Pope's um

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Speaker 1: basement like Shane to a mattress and a wedding dress.

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Speaker 1: Just in case you're curious, Wait, so I have a

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Speaker 1: question because I've wondered this as an actress too. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So were you pregnant when you Were you pregnant when

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Speaker 1: you were doing the birth scene? Yes? So were you

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Speaker 1: pushing yes? So so that makes me feel like you

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Speaker 1: would trigger something. Yes. So Shanda was very very careful

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Speaker 1: Um about that, and we had extensive conversations about I

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Speaker 1: think I shot that scene in the beginning of September

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Speaker 1: and Albi was born October two, so we're we're talking

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Speaker 1: like I'm already in the window, like Albi's fully cooked

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Speaker 1: for me to be doing any sort of scene where

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Speaker 1: I'm pushing. So they had a o bian set all

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Speaker 1: day with me. Um. I was not allowed to push.

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Speaker 1: I was allowed to like fake it with my face,

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Speaker 1: but um. Shanna wrote it in a way where Quinn

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Speaker 1: is sort of under drugs while she's pushing, so it

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Speaker 1: wasn't like I was actually bearing down. But it was

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Speaker 1: actually a huge, huge thing in Shawna's head about consciously

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Speaker 1: not having quintin push so that I, in any way

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Speaker 1: Shape four could affect my actual pregnancy. But it was

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Speaker 1: really weird because Quinn Giarmo Diaz who played Huck, pulled

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Speaker 1: a bloody baby out of Quinn and they had that

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Speaker 1: was a doll, and then they had twins that they

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Speaker 1: covered in jelly and cream cream cheese, and they brought

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Speaker 1: the baby. I had a blanket over my knees and

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Speaker 1: they brought that baby out and the real baby started

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Speaker 1: crying because the baby was like, this sucks. And I

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Speaker 1: actually started like sobbing because it sort of hit me

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Speaker 1: in that moment that at some point this is gonna

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Speaker 1: be my real vagina, and it's gonna be a real baby,

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Speaker 1: not covered in jelly and cream cheese, but like blood

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Speaker 1: and um, that would be very emotional. Yeah, I cried

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Speaker 1: a lot. I was having like a whole thing, and

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Speaker 1: I'm sort of embarrassed, like I don't like to do

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Speaker 1: that in front of people, so that was weird. I

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Speaker 1: had I had to birth my premature baby. At the

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Speaker 1: on the storyline, it was seven months and I was

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Speaker 1: in an elevator stuck and I had to also have contractions,

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Speaker 1: but I was already five months pregnant, and so the

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Speaker 1: same thing. They were like, oh, you know, push as much.

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Speaker 1: But of course, like I am when I'm acting, I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I was like in the moment, I was, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to, you know, be bad, So I

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Speaker 1: didn't want women to be like no, like it hurts

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Speaker 1: a lot more, you know, So I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: go there. But I also kind of did, you know,

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Speaker 1: not the pushing from the stomach, but something above kind

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Speaker 1: of like chest, neck like all that stuff. Um, And

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Speaker 1: they did it so that I didn't so that I

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Speaker 1: passed out and then the baby because it was pretty

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Speaker 1: you need to pass out, But I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: see the baby. I didn't. I didn't want to look

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Speaker 1: at the doll because it was like a little too

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Speaker 1: much for me. So I kind of was then there.

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Speaker 1: They had to stand in to come in and have

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Speaker 1: the legs, so that viola analyst Keating's character grabs the

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Speaker 1: baby through the through the did you tell them that

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Speaker 1: you didn't want to see the doll? Yeah? Good? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm I'm good. How was it like

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Speaker 1: for you guys coming back to work after giving birth?

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Speaker 1: So for me, Hayden was four months, so it was

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Speaker 1: pretty how old nice three and a half. But you, yeah,

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Speaker 1: eight weeks when I went back to work, I always

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Speaker 1: thought of you when I was like, at this point,

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Speaker 1: Katie's going back. Yeah, I think I don't remember it,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, like, no, I think you just sort

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Speaker 1: of go to a deep place. I mean again, and

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Speaker 1: I'm we're so fortunate that it was a place that

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Speaker 1: you know, I had the other half of my trailer

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Speaker 1: with my nanny and my baby, and it was like

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Speaker 1: very I couldn't have felt more supported. I mean, they

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Speaker 1: like built a set of stairs leading up to my

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Speaker 1: trailer because they didn't even want me going up like

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Speaker 1: regular trailer steps. I had like a deck outside of like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was um and they started me off

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Speaker 1: really slow, you know, like the scenes were very easy

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Speaker 1: and all these kinds of things. And also I think

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Speaker 1: had anything gone sort of outside of the realm of

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Speaker 1: normal in my labor or if I was having some

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Speaker 1: serious postpartum depression, like Shawda was very open, like you

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Speaker 1: need to tell me if you're not. But it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was the Scandal final season. It was like,

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Speaker 1: and they did a great job of keeping me out

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Speaker 1: as long as they could, but I had to get

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Speaker 1: back in the storyline. Um so, you guys felt pretty

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Speaker 1: good when you went back to work. I felt like

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Speaker 1: an insane person. I felt ready. I felt ready to

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Speaker 1: get back into it. But and I had made the

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Speaker 1: conscious decision to stop breastfeeding because I did see the

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Speaker 1: experience of other girls, like having to run back to

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Speaker 1: their trailers and do it, and they were game for

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Speaker 1: doing it. But for me, I just thought that it

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Speaker 1: was like kind of it would be a little I

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Speaker 1: just knew my personality that I would find it kind

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Speaker 1: of stressful no matter how supported I would feel. Um

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Speaker 1: So I decided to wean her about four months. And

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Speaker 1: so that was nice with you. No, she was never

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Speaker 1: on set with me. And luckily because we have I mean,

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Speaker 1: we have a big ensemble than you guys. And you guys,

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Speaker 1: um so I would only you know, we're only sometimes

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Speaker 1: walking two days one day a week, three days a week.

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Speaker 1: Good dream. So it's nice. Yeah, it's it's really rare

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Speaker 1: that we work all for five days with you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So she comes whenever I can because I don't trust

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Speaker 1: anyone to drive her yet. And that's the thing. It's

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Speaker 1: so even though I hour away and I drive an hour,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no one's going to drive that freeway with

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Speaker 1: my daughter except from my husband or me, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I think that's you know, great boundary, had a

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Speaker 1: great Uh, you're setting yourself up for what feels comfortable.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, So whenever I know I'm

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Speaker 1: going to finish, um, well, when we think we know

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Speaker 1: we're going to finish at you know, six or before six,

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Speaker 1: then I bring her because her bathtime is six thirty.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't want to mess up the bath So like,

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Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? How am I going to

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Speaker 1: decide when to And then it was very clear, it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't want to mess up the nighttime routine.

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Speaker 1: So whenever I have like a ten pm call, the

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Speaker 1: finishing ten pm rap um, I let her stay at

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Speaker 1: the house with the nanny and if not, the nanny comes.

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Speaker 1: And it's funny because the nanny had gone to I

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Speaker 1: don't know, some other studios at some point in her life,

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Speaker 1: at like Fox or whatever where they have like green

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Speaker 1: areas and like, you know, this beautiful studio and she

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Speaker 1: comes here and it's just all cement, like a frying pan,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, what is this? And I'm like, I know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I know that you more than this. Um, Carla.

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Speaker 1: Your character Laurel is a new mom too, so I

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Speaker 1: did a similar thing. Are you So you're acting with

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Speaker 1: the baby? How does that feel? It's so hard because

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Speaker 1: they let the baby cry and still do a scene

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Speaker 1: and my mom instinct comes in and I'm just like

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Speaker 1: somebody called cut. I'm like cut, you know, like this

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Speaker 1: baby needs his mom or this baby needs you know something.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard for me to you know. And even

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Speaker 1: in the scene when they need to cry, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just like I think they brought she brought the

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Speaker 1: mom brought the nose frieda for her to you know,

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Speaker 1: she sees the nose freeda. She's like, she starts working.

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Speaker 1: We have a girl play Christopher, so a girl twins

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Speaker 1: play a boy. Um. But it's really hard for me

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Speaker 1: because I'm like let down. I start having like well

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Speaker 1: that's the other reason why wasn't excited to continue breastfeeding.

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Speaker 1: It's because, like I've leakitch happens one and those scrubs

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Speaker 1: are very thin. You know, we have a lot of

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Speaker 1: babies on our show, like that we're birthday or whatever.

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Speaker 1: So for me, you're done. We I Quinn had a

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Speaker 1: baby um also, and I had such a strong I

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Speaker 1: feel so bad saying this, but I I really had

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Speaker 1: such an adverse reaction to the babies. I like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: hate is a strong word, but I did not like

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Speaker 1: the babies, um because it's not your because it's not

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Speaker 1: my baby, and I wass I was like, other day,

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Speaker 1: these other babies, Now, this is my job, this one

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Speaker 1: being paid to do, and this is part of quinn story.

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Speaker 1: So I would really like dig deep and like, I

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Speaker 1: hope my acting isn't garbage in the last season. And

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Speaker 1: it seems like Quinn is in love with her babies,

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Speaker 1: but like Katie was not in love with those babies.

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Speaker 1: And they were great babies, nothing wrong with those babies,

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Speaker 1: but I just was like, no, today's one of the

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Speaker 1: days where the babies are gonna be around all day.

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Speaker 1: I hate those babies. I don't want to be around them,

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Speaker 1: like they're so cute and everything, but it just makes

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Speaker 1: me miss your bit my. It just just bringing up

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Speaker 1: to the surface again that my baby is like sitting

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Speaker 1: in the trailer and I'm not with the baby. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Oh that's so funny. I haven't thought that before. That

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Speaker 1: makes perfect sense. How have you guys navigated the balance

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Speaker 1: between uh, you know, being in the public eye and

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Speaker 1: sharing personal private stuff about your baby. What do you

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Speaker 1: guys do? I don't really know. I don't post any

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Speaker 1: pictures of her face. It was something that Matt and I,

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Speaker 1: my fiance, we we spoke about very early on. I'm

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Speaker 1: not I mean I barely post any pictures of Matt too.

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Speaker 1: I mean justin Chambers is on my Instagram way more

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Speaker 1: than my real fiance side. We're super private. Um So,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what like fans are like with you guys,

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Speaker 1: but like fans for Grays, I love them. They're super passionate.

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Speaker 1: But there are times when like we do get filmed

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Speaker 1: in public by them, or like they snap your picture

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Speaker 1: right and I don't. It's like kind of what But

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Speaker 1: when I have my kid with me, that's when I

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Speaker 1: get really paranoid. Right now, I do have like a

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Speaker 1: paranoia about her appearing on social media, and I'm not

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Speaker 1: exactly sure why, but I feel like I can control

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Speaker 1: her privacy right now, and so that's been a little

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Speaker 1: difficult to smell. I do get sometimes paranoid being out

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Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, I don't, But the fans didn't know

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Speaker 1: I have. I was married. Fans didn't know that. I know,

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Speaker 1: you have been the great crypt never I had never

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Speaker 1: posted about my husband. I had never. Um, I still don't.

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Speaker 1: And as well, when I if if I ever post

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Speaker 1: with my daughter, it's sort of with you know, she

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Speaker 1: has like a pineapple on instead of her face or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. You know that looks a little freaky.

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Speaker 1: So I haven't done it that much. Um, And it's

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Speaker 1: the same thing. It's really weird. I'm a very trusting

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Speaker 1: person in real life with people that I meet, but

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Speaker 1: I am not trusting at all on social media. Like

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Speaker 1: I can't open I am. I guess it's my insecurity

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Speaker 1: of feeling like you'll hurt me or even if you

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Speaker 1: have a bad thought about her, like I don't want

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Speaker 1: that in the in the world. It's like this. Maybe

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Speaker 1: it's just like and I remember this story about this

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Speaker 1: kid suing their parents because their whole lives were put

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Speaker 1: in social media without their consent, and how they want

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Speaker 1: against their parents, saying like, you put my life on

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Speaker 1: social media and I had no say about it. And

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking that's such an interesting case. And it

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Speaker 1: really hit home with me with my niece and nephew

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Speaker 1: who once were like, why don't you post about us

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Speaker 1: on social media? And I said, look, right now, you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I want people to know this is my aunt.

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Speaker 1: And I said, but if one day your aunt makes

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Speaker 1: a mistake or say people don't like something I do,

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Speaker 1: then you're going to become their target of ha ha,

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Speaker 1: your aunt did this, and I don't want that. So

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Speaker 1: right now it's positive and that's what you want, but

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Speaker 1: when it becomes negative, because I have been a part

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Speaker 1: of the negative side, so I'm like, I don't I

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Speaker 1: want to protect you from like there being the least

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Speaker 1: amount of people that know your target that they can hit.

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Speaker 1: Do either of you have private accounts for them? No,

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Speaker 1: I don't have anything. You just straight up email all

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Speaker 1: text a photo of your family. Um. And also you're

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Speaker 1: both foreigners from the Y is like a big thing.

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Speaker 1: Not taking enough advantage of yeah, you don't you just text? Well,

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Speaker 1: I what's app to my friends who don't live in America,

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Speaker 1: But no, I just text. But hey, I have a

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Speaker 1: friend who's an actress who's literally posting like her child

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Speaker 1: has a hashtag. And I also think, like, I think

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Speaker 1: that's so it's fun, Like I could never do it,

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Speaker 1: but my friend like post about every single milestone and things,

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Speaker 1: and I'm getting to know her daughter without even ever

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Speaker 1: being with her at all. But I also think there's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, Viola posts about Genesis all the time, goes

387
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Speaker 1: with Genesis to red carpets. So at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I'm there's no it's just each each person is comfortable

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Speaker 1: with the specific thing, and this is what's comfortable for

390
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Speaker 1: you right now, Like who knows it has to be

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Speaker 1: for me. I feel I'm doing the same thing you

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Speaker 1: guys are doing. I don't post about I'll be either.

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Speaker 1: But Albi does have his own private Instagram account. Um

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Speaker 1: with your family. Yeah, but it's like I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like how is Albi himself going to feel about it

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00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 1: when he looks at it? Because right now Adam runs

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Speaker 1: the account and only speaks as if it's from Alby.

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Speaker 1: So it's just it's it's it's Adam's it's Adam loves

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Speaker 1: to really have a good time and make a lot

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Speaker 1: of jokes out of it. So I'm not really sure.

401
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 1: But it's private looks private. It's only best friends and

402
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: grandma and my mom and whatever. But but I think

403
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: we have to remain or I have to remain fluid

404
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: about it, like sort of how Viola is doing it.

405
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Speaker 1: Like what if you know, our kid is eight and

406
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Speaker 1: you are the voice in the Disney movie and your

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00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: kid wants to go see it, and yeah, I think

408
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 1: you're older, I'll feel better about it. Right now, she's

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Speaker 1: a baby, and I have like one thing that marther

410
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: hood has brought up for me is that like I

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Speaker 1: didn't think of myself as an anxious person ever, and

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Speaker 1: now my anxiety is like through the roof to parents,

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Speaker 1: like it's bad. Um. So I think with that, like

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Speaker 1: that element of trying to control, I feel like when

415
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Speaker 1: she's eight, like I'll be a little more seasoned as

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Speaker 1: a mom. Maybe I'll relax a little bit. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: maybe you'll get We have this dula in the duel

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Speaker 1: I used and she was on Kati's group, but she

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Speaker 1: has something she calls it that your mommy muscle is

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00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 1: being developed, like and made to be stronger. You know.

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Speaker 1: So yes, hopefully by eight we will have been eight

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Speaker 1: years and using this muscle that we've never used before,

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Speaker 1: which brings me to um, you were talking about anxiety.

424
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 1: What have That's not really an exciting discovery, but like,

425
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: as a new mom, what have you? What are the

426
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:43,479
Speaker 1: new discoveries you've made about yourself or your child? Oh? Wow, well, like,

427
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: for example, you're now an anxious person and you weren't before. Yeah,

428
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: I mean for me, it's like super personal. Though. It's like,

429
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: I don't know if anyone listening here is like lost

430
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 1: a parent, but I lost my mom when I was nineteen,

431
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: and what I didn't realize is that having a kid. Sorry,

432
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: it makes me emotional. Nobody sorry, but it's good to

433
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: talk about. To please don't apologize. It's really important. We've

434
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: had a couple women, Casey Wilson. It brings up June Raphael.

435
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: We had his guests on the first season. They both

436
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: also lost parents, and I think there's really something about

437
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: being a mom's cyclical life. Yeah, like it's it's um.

438
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I feel like I'm going to die

439
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: early all the time. And it's a strange thing to

440
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: like experience. You just always feel like you'll miss out

441
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 1: on her life. Yeah, like, um, I almost feel like, hm,

442
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be there for her for big

443
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: milestones in her life that you will miss and things

444
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: that you didn't share with your mom. So it's like,

445
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: I have that anxiety and I want to talk about

446
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 1: it even though it's hard, because I feel like there

447
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: may be other people listening that like have that experience.

448
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 1: When I was growing up, like I felt like I

449
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: had it even though my mom passed away, I felt

450
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 1: like I had really dealt with it well. And then

451
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: what mother hood does is it makes you feel like

452
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: you have this new relationship that you love so much

453
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 1: in your life and that something is going to go wrong.

454
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: So for me, I'm like, well, because my mom died

455
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 1: very young, when she was forty three, So for me,

456
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,439
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not going to make it to

457
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: forty three or those milestones that she missed out on,

458
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to miss out miss out on. And so

459
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 1: for me, it's been this crazy discovery of like, yeah,

460
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: postpartum anxiety is a real, real thing I think when

461
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: you've lost a parent. It I can't even but I

462
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 1: can tell you in the ways that I can relate.

463
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: I definitely drive my car and my kid is in

464
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,199
Speaker 1: the back, and I think about somebody hitting us, And

465
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 1: I never used to think that. I think about this

466
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 1: child is like responsible for my happiness in some ways,

467
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 1: and I'm so angry, like so anxious about something bad

468
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: happening to me, something bad happening to him. Um, and

469
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: I totally think about like like, for example, this is

470
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: so so so ridiculous, but like I started going to

471
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 1: the gym this week and I haven't been working out

472
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: in a very long time. And it's only because I'm like,

473
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: if there's anything I can do that can control my

474
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 1: health in any shape for him to be there a

475
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: little bit longer for my kid, I would like to

476
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: do it because I'm super scared about dying. And I

477
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: had these nightmares. I remember when she was literally a

478
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: couple of weeks old. I would dream that the house started,

479
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: you know, catching on fire, and then I didn't make

480
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 1: it to you know, the crib, or that the nanny

481
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: and I were walking and suddenly a car would pass

482
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: and the and hit the pramp, like hit the stroller,

483
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 1: or I had all of these visions that I will.

484
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: I would have never thought that I had like of this.

485
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: Just you have no control. Yeah. This is the thing

486
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: is like we grow up, we live life thinking we

487
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: actually have control over things, and we have absolutely no

488
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: control in this situation. So that's where it's like it's terrifying,

489
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: Like she gets a little rash or she starts. At

490
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: one point, my daughter started like tremble, having trembles, like

491
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: when she was feeding, and I remember thinking like, oh

492
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: my gosh, she's having a seizure, Like what's going to happen,

493
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: you know, And it was terrifying to think, you know,

494
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: it happens like all these little kids that end up

495
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, It's just it's it's it's a very

496
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: anxious place to be. But I also feel like for me,

497
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: at least, I was already an anxious person um and

498
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 1: I didn't have I didn't I thought I had self

499
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 1: love until my daughter, when she first looked more like

500
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: my husband, I was ecstatic. I loved her so much

501
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: and suddenly she started looking like me, and I didn't

502
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: know how to relate to that. So that started showing

503
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: me how how I still needed to love my self

504
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: in a way because it was so weird when she

505
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: started looking like me. I was like, oh no, no, no,

506
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: like how that's so awkward and weird, and I thought, wow,

507
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: I have a lot to process with how when I

508
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: was like, you know, a babe and the little me

509
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: and the little me still inside of me. Um. And

510
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: that's why I feel like, you know, having her has

511
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: has helped me love myself more to yeah, you know, yeah,

512
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: it was there all. I mean they I really truly

513
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 1: believe they're here to teach us way more than we

514
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 1: can teach them. I definitely feel more self love after

515
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,360
Speaker 1: having a kid. Yeah, I feel like I'm a lot

516
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: more forgiving of like the way I look or my body.

517
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: I've relaxed so much more the pressure on us regardless

518
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: of any show that we're on, because this doesn't actually

519
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: happen on shawna Lam where you're asked to be skinny,

520
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: but like it just happens in our industry anyway, regardless.

521
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: But I feel so much less pressure to be quote

522
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: unquote pretty or anything because I I realize that I

523
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: don't want her because we have a habit. I think

524
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: as women of saying like, oh, I'm so fat or

525
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 1: it feels so fat, and I just think that it's

526
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: going to come a point where I have to really

527
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: watch what I'm saying because I don't want her to

528
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: have any of the insecurities that I has been actually had.

529
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 1: Is that he constantly looks himself in the mirror and

530
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: he'll be finally saying this, but he's like, oh man,

531
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm gaining someone. And I started saying, that's not gonna,

532
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 1: that's not gonna. That's not gonna happen in our house.

533
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,479
Speaker 1: So bumps right now. And I'm so and you know,

534
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: I have a son, and it is just as important.

535
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, having eating disorders and things like that,

536
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: running men and women and that is very true. Um,

537
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: but it's funny because I'm like sitting here being like, yeah,

538
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: for the daughters, like the daughters, it's a it's a

539
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: crazy thing in Hollywood. I have yes, I almost thirteen

540
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: year old now, since she was here visiting, and I

541
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 1: was shocked at myself at how many horrible jokes I

542
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: make about myself and my body and like, oh whatever,

543
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna eat that and be like a fatty

544
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: like say dumb ship like that, and like my sister

545
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: in law like covered her ears at one point and

546
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, Like I can't say

547
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 1: ship like anyone. Yeah, much power. Even when my mom sees,

548
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: you know, my daughter, and sometimes she's like going to

549
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 1: read that in Spanish, you know, you say little fattoum

550
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: and I had to say like I'm sorry or whatever.

551
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 1: But I do think that our words have so much power,

552
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 1: and so I don't I don't want to be like, oh,

553
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: you're so stubborn or oh you're a good girl or

554
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 1: you're a bad girl. Like I don't want to be

555
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: pronouncing these truths on her, and you know, and I

556
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 1: generally like don't want I want to steer away from that.

557
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 1: And also self love is something that I need to

558
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: teach her because she's going to see how I model itself.

559
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: Is there anything that stands out as being the most

560
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: challenging aspect of motherhood and has it evolved and maybe

561
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: we just hit that on the head already. Yeah. I mean,

562
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: like for me, I have like personal anxiety like about

563
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 1: all that stuff. And it's kind of interesting because I

564
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: haven't that other people who have lost parents and they

565
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: they are like, wait, you feel that exact way too,

566
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: Like you think that you're going to pass away early

567
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: and not have those milestones, and it's just it's so

568
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: interesting to me. Um. But I think patients like Hayden

569
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: started to almost get terrible twos, And I'm amazed at

570
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: my own patients, which is why I don't think I

571
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: could have been a mother younger because I don't think

572
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: I would have had the patients. And I'm gonna be

573
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: thirty five next month, um, and I think it's like

574
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: the perfect time for me because she's doing this thing

575
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: where she's like throwing herself back and it's like she

576
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: could knock herself out and she's kicking and it's like

577
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,959
Speaker 1: over she wants to like chocolate or whatever it is. Um,

578
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: and my patients is like amazing, but it's not always.

579
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: I like I become like Zen And then afterwards I

580
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: say to my fiance like is she kidding? But with

581
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: her like I'm I think patients is something that I'm

582
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: really learning for I don't know how it worked, seeing

583
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: as you're both actresses, but I don't know if you

584
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: had a fear of like there was a place in

585
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 1: my head for you know, me as a single uh,

586
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: sexualized object in this industry and suddenly is there a

587
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: place for me as a mother? And I was terrified.

588
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: I was thinking, the second I become a mother, I'm

589
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: going to become dispending, disposable. Is that how? Yeah, you're not.

590
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: So therefore I'm like, I, you know, I won't get jobs.

591
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: I won't you know, no one's interested in working with

592
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: me because I have you know, I have a baby.

593
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: Um and so that was a huge, huge fear for me,

594
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: especially when you know, I just went to a meeting

595
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: with um with someone to do uh some branding opportunity

596
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 1: and bless her, it was a woman telling me. But

597
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, yeah, we didn't pick so and so

598
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: because she posts a lot about you know, and this

599
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: is in Mexico. Every where she posts a lot about

600
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: her being a mom, and you know, that doesn't go

601
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: with our brand. And so in my head, I'm like,

602
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: oh my god. And of course there are other brands

603
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 1: that that goes a lot with and so then you

604
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: know it's given take. But of course I take that,

605
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: and I think, wow, especially in Mexico. Still, there's so

606
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: many actions that come to me and they're like, how

607
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: did you do? How you know, it doesn't happen where

608
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: you think that you can be a mom and still

609
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: work and still I'll tell you you look, you both

610
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: are fucking gorgeous and sexy as hell. I'm so glad.

611
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: But I never played those parts, so I feel like

612
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: I never even had to worry about it. And like, literally,

613
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: as you're sitting here, I'm like, Wow, I'm so glad

614
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: I've never had to do that horrible Oh my god.

615
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: It's the day after I came back from having you know,

616
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: my my daughter. The day the first day back here,

617
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: I had a sex scene with Frank Are you kidding me?

618
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: I was like, are you freaking kidding me? Like taking

619
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: off all the clothes and I was just like, are

620
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: are we serious here? Yeah, that happened, and then I,

621
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: you know, I was like, I don't want to look

622
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,959
Speaker 1: at what I don't I haven't seen the episode. I'm

623
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: just like, did you have to be in like a

624
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: lawn dry or something? Yes? Wow, really that's me, But

625
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: I'm sure vp they edited it in a way that's

626
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: like showing a thing or whatever. I hope. I actually

627
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: like my body more now after having a baby than

628
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: I did before. You mean to three, but not like

629
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: I would, like I got got completely naked on Californication

630
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 1: one whole season when I was like twenties, I would

631
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: I would be terrified to do it now, but so

632
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: like I feel like TV wise, I don't want to

633
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: get naked, but real life and me and my body,

634
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel sexy at you know, what I've

635
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: noticed is just the issues that I used to have

636
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: with my body, Like I used to hate my ass

637
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: and thighs, and it's like I kind of like my

638
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: booty now and now I just hate my stomach. So

639
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: it's just transferred to That's what's exciting to me, is

640
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: like my it is true your body changes, um, and

641
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: I just think it's interesting to look at, like even

642
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: in a sort of scientific way, like how your body

643
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: has shifted to hold things in different ways that it

644
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: used to not. It's really crazy. I think it's probably

645
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: people like us in our experienced because we can literally

646
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: go back and watch I can go back and watch

647
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: seven seasons ago and what that looks like to now,

648
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: and so you see the gradual change anyway, it it

649
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: is bizarre. Um, do you guys this is so scandal

650
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: right now? But are you guys good at going with

651
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: your gut very Olivia Pope. It was always about like

652
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: trust your gut, and I think that's a lot with motherhood,

653
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: and people are always telling you just trust your gut,

654
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: trust your instinct on like what to do, on making

655
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 1: decisions for your family, even though you might feel pressure

656
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: one way or another because there's a lot of mommy pressures.

657
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: I think there's a difference though, because like sometimes my

658
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: gut is just I'm being reactionary to For example, like

659
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: if she's starting to cry in public, I'm like, what

660
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: do people My instant reaction is people are going to

661
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: think I'm a bad parent, and then I have to

662
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: breathe that out and then just be like, okay, um,

663
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: she's a seven month old, Like she's crying, like sorry,

664
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: you know, and so they cry. And so then after

665
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: letting go of that instant gut reaction, which I would

666
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: say is the is the nonhealthy one, then I go to, Okay,

667
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: what's my gut in the sense of like what does

668
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: she need? What's going on with her right now? So

669
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: then that's like the real gut, you know, because there's

670
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: like I feel like the false gut of like that

671
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: instant reactionary kind of like um uh ego reacting rather

672
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: than you know, even with the nanny. I feel like

673
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: there should be a romantic comedy about the relationships between

674
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: a mom and nanny because that's just like with my friends,

675
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: that's our constant cover like conversation of like you know, say,

676
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,399
Speaker 1: I'm whatever bathing my you know, my daughter, and she's

677
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: just about to leave, but she wants to come and

678
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: be there because she loves my daughter so much. But

679
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: it's like my time with my daughter at it, I

680
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 1: just want to be like leave, like even been with

681
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: her all day, okay, or you know, or if I

682
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: am I crazy? If I need to approve all the

683
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 1: toys that come in the house because she buys her,

684
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, these like nice toys, and sometimes you know,

685
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: she text me a picture and there's a toy that

686
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 1: I didn't see that I didn't know that it's in

687
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: my house already with my daughter right now. It's a toy.

688
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,280
Speaker 1: But then tomorrow it's going to be whether a movie

689
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 1: or you know, something that I'm not like filtering, and

690
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: then I'm like, am I a psychotic controlling mother or

691
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: am I gonna I don't think all these things that

692
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: you know that are that are happening with my caregiver,

693
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: you know, the number one caregiver, which I absolutely like adore. UM,

694
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: but I do I do think that UM that gut

695
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: it can be sort of confusing as to what gut

696
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 1: we're following. How about you? UM? I think my first

697
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up with that nanny, and I think

698
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: it would have helped if I had had one when

699
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: I was picking a nanny because my mom was a

700
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: stay at home mom. So it was like the idea

701
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: of someone coming into our home and watching our kid

702
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: was like absolutely bizarre and terrifying to say, did you

703
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if you had I grew up with

704
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: my stay at home mom, but Tony, so I yeah,

705
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: so you had the experience. And so I really hated

706
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: the idea and picking and nanny. I remember crying about

707
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: a lot before it happened and just being like, wow,

708
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: would I know, like you know? And that was something

709
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: that I decided I would go and got instinct about

710
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,280
Speaker 1: and we interviewed a few people, and I remember feeling

711
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: like one I remember telling one nanny that I was interviewing.

712
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: She was asking if I was still breastfeeding, and I

713
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: remember saying that you know, I was going to stop

714
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: at four months when I went back to work, and

715
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 1: I remember her sort of lecturing me on why I should,

716
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, no. So I was realizing,

717
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 1: like a I gut, like what kind of person I needed?

718
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 1: And and I went with my gut on our nanny

719
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 1: and I absolutely adore her. But I think I think

720
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,439
Speaker 1: there is I think there are times when your gut

721
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: reaction to something is like you know, you're coming from

722
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 1: a place of anxiety or whatever it is, um or

723
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 1: being judged, And then there are times when I think that,

724
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 1: like I do definitely trust my gut. Are there resources

725
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: and apps and things like that that like you could

726
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: never live without? Funny, But like headspace, it has nothing

727
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: to do with motherhood. It has everything to do with motherhood.

728
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: Motherhood is a mental game. So you are a bit

729
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: or your meditator. You need to take a few minutes

730
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: for yourself. And it's well, I even think that breastfeeding.

731
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: I'm still breastfeeding and I do it maybe four four

732
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: times a day where I'm pumping, and I'm like, what

733
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: a great excuse I have, like a justifiable excuse to

734
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: just sit down and forced to a force to four

735
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: times a day. I never had that before. I would

736
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: never have to sit down for at least fifteen and

737
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: twenty minutes and just breathe. Like, it has centered me

738
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: so much to keep breastfeeding my daughter in the sense that,

739
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: like whether she's at work or I'm pumping, I've like

740
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: forced myself to have that space be a space of

741
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: justing else just chill. Yeah, so that that that app

742
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: has helped me. Also, Like I don't know, wonder weeks,

743
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: you know the leaps that she's in. Um, I've been

744
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: using wonder weeks also a lot. Have you ever heard

745
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 1: of that? No, I don't know what. It's really cool? Um,

746
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: we can put it in the crib notes, but it's

747
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: wonder Weeks. It's a really cool app all about you

748
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 1: entering your baby's do date, not the date they were

749
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 1: actually born, and it will let you know when their

750
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: brain is actually having like huge months of developments, months

751
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: of sort of chill time, because if you're noticing, for example,

752
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: your baby is acting like, oh my god, I have

753
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: no idea who this baby is. He's completely teached his

754
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: personality in the past month. His It will tell you

755
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: scientifically at this stage of his life what is happening

756
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 1: in his brain and what he's currently learning. Um, it's

757
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: why he's acting that way, and it has it. I

758
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: have found it to be very accurate, actually shocking right now.

759
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: And she's like, I don't know who she is and

760
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: mine's going to go through a storm over the holidays

761
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: and I am so far I am not a straight

762
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: up rain. It shows you the dates through rainstorms or sunshine,

763
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: and I'm in a b of hurricane over the holidays,

764
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: which sucks. Can you guys let me know if you

765
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: think of anything or like books that really you found

766
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 1: another so you're really doing some like like self work

767
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: on like it's more about me. I think that's an

768
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 1: amazing place to start. I've been saying and not doing

769
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: four months. I should really get my meditation practice back on,

770
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: because if I want to be the best mother I

771
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 1: can be, then it means I have to be making

772
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: a conscious effort to be the best version of myself

773
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: I can be for my child. And that's so much

774
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: easier said than done. I get it, Like, I mean,

775
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: obviously I'm here, I'm talking about it and I still

776
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: haven't meditated, so but I do think there is something

777
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 1: to that about really trying to because they they're just

778
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: going to model your behavior. You can read every single

779
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: parenting book, but like if you are doing the work

780
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 1: on yourself to try to be a better vert, I

781
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: mean I think there's one it's for more when your

782
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: kids are like a lot older, but still it's very

783
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,919
Speaker 1: much about like your ser um. I have a big

784
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: pile um do I see? I I just had like

785
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 1: a couple of books when I was pregnant and then

786
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: I just cool Jessica capsule really but that's huge she

787
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: has for kids. You know, how are you guys on

788
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: the mom's circle situation like I have? Thank god we

789
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: had Carrie on Scandal. You just mentioned, yes you had.

790
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 1: I had. I mean I had all of the Ellen, Jessica,

791
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: Sarah and we're just talking about Carla You're really I mean, yeah, yeah,

792
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: So it was it was I had a moment where

793
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: I was trying to be that supermom of pumping on set,

794
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: like I was telling you, you know during scenes and um,

795
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: and I wasn't asking. I'm really bad at asking for

796
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,280
Speaker 1: what I need. So that's again something that I needed

797
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: to work on. I was like, Okay, what it is?

798
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 1: What is it that I need and um. And I

799
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: remember I spoke to Shonda actually about it, and um,

800
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 1: I said, you know, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety

801
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: and like a lot of shame and a lot of

802
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 1: things that I shouldn't be feeling. I'm sure, um. And

803
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: so it's just talking to someone who kind of has

804
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: a different we didn't have. For example, every set is

805
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: a little bit far away from my trailers, so all

806
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: they did was create a space within the set so

807
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't feel like I needed to go so

808
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: far away and stop the production for so long. And

809
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 1: I also had heard a few directors being like, oh man,

810
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: not again, like she has to go pump, like oh no,

811
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: and even a female director saying like are you all

812
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 1: pumped out? And I was like really, And so everyone

813
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: would be like are you done yet? Or hey, how

814
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 1: long do you have to how many times you have

815
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: to pump a date? So all these questions are very

816
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: good natured people that were coming up, so that all

817
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,359
Speaker 1: day I felt like so much just yeah, so much

818
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,439
Speaker 1: embarrassment and shame of all that that I had to do. UM.

819
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: And so I suddenly started realizing like the terms that

820
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: needed to be used instead of hey, do you want

821
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: to go pomp itty ten three code words you know

822
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 1: that we talked about on set um and that you

823
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: like figured that out quickly in yourself, that you were

824
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: having like that. Amazing to note to ask for that already,

825
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: because I was joking that already. Young grays were like,

826
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: we're a pump thing. We pumped five times a day.

827
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: But I'm to have more moms how help? Like you

828
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 1: brought that up about asking, I think so much about

829
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 1: motherhood is getting really honest about what you need and

830
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: saying it and not being embarrassed or shamed that you

831
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: don't like it a certain way or you can't do

832
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 1: it all yourself. Um, I think women are constantly like,

833
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: I got it, I got it, we can do it.

834
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: And also if I'm miserably failing at it in secret,

835
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: I'm not sure as hell. I'm not going to admit

836
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: that to anybody until you're just a puddle on the floor.

837
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: And right. Um, have you guys felt like you've gotten

838
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,959
Speaker 1: better at asking for help? I have? I'm learning. Yeah, yeah,

839
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm learning. It's tough. It's tough. I like to control things,

840
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: so to give it up, especially to in my kid,

841
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 1: it's really hard. But don't you think, Like, for example,

842
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 1: if I would have been invited to a thing that

843
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: I didn't really want to go to before or whatever

844
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: it is, it's so much easier for me to say,

845
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: you know, thank you so much for thinking about be

846
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna say yes to being with my daughter

847
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: because I say as to that right now, you know,

848
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: but think of so and so. I'm so much better

849
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: at saying no than I was before because it's like

850
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: so easy. It's like, oh, no, that's not worth it,

851
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,840
Speaker 1: you know, that's not worth it, Whereas before I was

852
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: just doing so many things like thinking that you know,

853
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: hustling and like you know, ripping myself into pieces to

854
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: be there for other people. When now it's like, no,

855
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: there's someone there that's you know, anchoring and then aligning

856
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: myself with myself. It's weird. It's again about myself. Um,

857
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: not that I'm like selfish, but I think that it

858
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: is about oneself. Really, you're doing your daughter and yourself. Um.

859
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: What would you give any advice to moms struggling with

860
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: their self confidence as being a mom? Would you say

861
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: the mom's The thing about the moms I feel is

862
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: the more moms I talked to or the more moms

863
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: I spend time with UM because it can be very isolating.

864
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 1: At first, I didn't have anyone really. My sister lives

865
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: three hours away, she has three kids, but I didn't

866
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 1: have except for one friend and she goes to a

867
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 1: mommy group. I wasn't going to any of that, and

868
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: I was starting to feel very isolated. And as soon

869
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 1: as I started to tap into these you know mommy

870
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: at least like at the park, just talking to them

871
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 1: or whatever, opening up about the issues UM and saying hey,

872
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: like can we go for lunch or at church, I

873
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: was like, oh, hey, you know what about what's your daughter?

874
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: So that from me, for me has opened up a

875
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 1: lot more of like taking away the shame and the

876
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: goat because then I see that they're struggling with similar things,

877
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 1: or because then I was like, oh no, I'm the

878
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: only one that has these sleeping issues or I'm the

879
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: only one that whatever it is. So for me is

880
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: like having that real not online, a real community of

881
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: really online as a nightmare. I don't like online, I

882
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: really We talked about this a lot on Katie's crib,

883
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: but how important like a mom crew is and how

884
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: we can find how I think moms doing this alone

885
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 1: is never a good idea, especially pregnancy, especially right after

886
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: you've had a baby. But honestly, I think throughout the

887
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 1: whole fucking thing, like I just there's it's just so

888
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: important to have moms you can text with, phone, call

889
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 1: Facebook with whatever that is, whether they're family members, friends

890
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,800
Speaker 1: at work. Like you said, I think there's also nothing

891
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 1: that connects people more like if you go up to

892
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 1: a mom in the park, a total stranger, and like

893
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: introduce yourself and start talking about your children, it's like

894
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 1: a great equalizer. Do you feel weird doing that because

895
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: you're on a TV show? Because I feel like the

896
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,439
Speaker 1: thing that sometimes I wish that we were never seen

897
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 1: on our show because I feel like I would be

898
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 1: more willing to do that, and you're in a very

899
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: extenuating circumstance. Yeah, so it's it's I would love to

900
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: go up to like another mom a park, but I

901
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: wonder if you know she watches the show and then

902
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: it's like yeah, and then it's like it's it's hard

903
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 1: for me. For example, the other day, this just happened

904
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 1: like two days ago, and it's fresh in my remember,

905
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: but I was getting a juice, and I saw like

906
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 1: a woman turned around and she had like a blank stare,

907
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: like you're And then I instantly was like, oh, where

908
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: do you are you doing here? At your daughter? Blah

909
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: blah blah, And suddenly I became a person. I wasn't

910
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 1: Laurel in the show anymore because I was asking her

911
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 1: about her daughter and then she was like opening up

912
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 1: about her things and forgot that I was on the

913
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: show because I almost like hate I can't do anything

914
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 1: with being Laurel, Like I can't connect with someone if

915
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 1: they think I'm Laurel or if they think I'm actress

916
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: or if they think but I suddenly, like quickly kind

917
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: of like you know, take that away and become a human,

918
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 1: you know, in a conversation with them, And I feel

919
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,439
Speaker 1: like I then am able to get, you know, more

920
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: out of that interaction rather than just being like yeah,

921
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: that's me okay by because then I just feel like

922
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: I've been objectified. Yeah, I need to get better at that.

923
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: I think that I'm naturally antisocial anyway. Um, and are

924
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 1: you in any baby classes things like that? Did you

925
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: do that stuff? Um? We have like a parent at

926
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: me that we go to really fast. What are some

927
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: of the best parenting advice you've received anything? Oh my god,

928
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: I feel there's been so much any how about the

929
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: worst something you would never tell someone, or any advice

930
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: that you would wish to give. I think breastfeeding for me, um,

931
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: I did get a lot of like, you really should

932
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: be breastfeeding until a b C d F month, a

933
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: month or whatever it was. And so I think that

934
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: for women out there that are struggling with breastfeeding or

935
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,399
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, if you want to stop, like it's

936
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 1: really a personal decision. And here here to that the

937
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 1: guilt about the breastfeeding thing, because I definitely felt really

938
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 1: bad about it at one point, and it was like

939
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,399
Speaker 1: a friend of mine that had like sort of made

940
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: me feel guilty about it. I felt so guilty for

941
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: having had the epidural because I went through thirty two

942
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: hours of not you know, because I am, like, you know,

943
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: a warrior, and I have to and I had such

944
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 1: a such a huge sort of expectation expected they expectation

945
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: of being able to bird my child with like nothing,

946
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: you know, nothing, And I felt a lot of shame.

947
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 1: Remember my obi came in and they had just put

948
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: the epidul after because I started convult, like having convulsions

949
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 1: because my body was not relaxing, and they were like,

950
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: there's no way you're gonna have like you have to

951
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: have the and that was just like, you know, So

952
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: they finally put the epidrol at like thirty three hours

953
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: of excruciating like vomiting, like all this pain, and and

954
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, I am such a failure, like I am,

955
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,720
Speaker 1: and my obie walked in and I was like, I failed,

956
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: and I was asking for my husband's forgiveness for my

957
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,320
Speaker 1: obies forgiven. Can you imagine? She came and she started

958
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: just kind of like her So it's such a problem.

959
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: And then that my one of my you know, best

960
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 1: friends also had that experience, and I hate that we

961
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: have all these things that made it's like welcome to motherhood.

962
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: It's going to be the first of fifty billion times

963
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 1: you feel like you feel yeah, um, this was so

964
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 1: I've been dreaming. I've been texting you, like I remember,

965
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 1: I was like, how did you do this? Tell me?

966
00:48:58,360 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: Tell me? And then you were in broadly and then

967
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 1: I left you. But I'm back now. And what's great

968
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: is that Camilla is the leader. She is the oldest.

969
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 1: Then me and then it's Carla, So let's just get

970
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 1: on a text chain. Okay, let's just all figure out

971
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: what the funk we're doing together. Thank you guys so

972
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: much for being on Katie's Crib. If you guys think

973
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: of anything else to add, we can add it to

974
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: the doctors and father has to be added. I did

975
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: a whole I listened to yours, but I think you know,

976
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 1: if anyone didn't listen to that, listen to it's a

977
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: good podcast. Um. Thank you guys so much for being on,

978
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: for spending the time, for being such inspirational, amazing moms

979
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: for me to look up to. And no thanks guys,

980
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you guys so much for listening and

981
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: for your amazing feedback and tweets and messages and reviews

982
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: and sharing Katie's Crib with your friends and your family.

983
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: It means so so much to me, So please keep

984
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,919
Speaker 1: it coming and check us out on shaan land dot com.

985
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

986
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 1: We're on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Ditcher, and wherever you get

987
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: your podcast. Wow. M