Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2: I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
Speaker 2: feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
Speaker 1: but you are, She'll some love to the vid.
Speaker 3: Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 2: An did you and die out way?
Speaker 4: Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No,
Speaker 4: all right, Part eight of two things can be true
Speaker 4: at the same time the final parts.
Speaker 3: We're finally here.
Speaker 4: You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've
Speaker 4: arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more,
Speaker 4: create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all
Speaker 4: about what you want and dig into that and we
Speaker 4: want to see that happen. And this makes me think
Speaker 4: of our conversation last week in the mountain yep, like
Speaker 4: reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here,
Speaker 4: I am world and you can be there, and like
Speaker 4: last week, you may go back down the mountain some
Speaker 4: and that is also okay. It doesn't mean you're not
Speaker 4: working hard, doesn't mean you haven't evolved, you're not in
Speaker 4: the process of evolving.
Speaker 3: But also now.
Speaker 4: I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top
Speaker 4: and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like
Speaker 4: can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what
Speaker 4: we're saying here.
Speaker 1: With this is yes, I see this happen a lot,
Speaker 1: and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't
Speaker 1: mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns
Speaker 1: more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing,
Speaker 1: but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they
Speaker 1: want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of
Speaker 1: gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I
Speaker 1: shouldn't ask for more.
Speaker 3: This makes you think of the Barbie monologue. Have you
Speaker 3: seen it?
Speaker 1: I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text,
Speaker 1: I need to go see it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't
Speaker 4: want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue,
Speaker 4: because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read
Speaker 4: it in a second because it's it's exactly.
Speaker 3: What you're saying for when it comes to women.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all,
Speaker 1: we talked last week about there is no real arrival
Speaker 1: because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like
Speaker 1: you you overcome one mountain. Have you seen those memes
Speaker 1: where it's like I went on a hike and I
Speaker 1: thought we got to the top of the mountain, and
Speaker 1: then I looked there was like another peak another I'm
Speaker 1: totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when
Speaker 1: I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to
Speaker 1: the top, and I'm like, oh there's another. This is
Speaker 1: just the bottom of the next one, you know, And
Speaker 1: so really acknowledging that there's it's never just this end
Speaker 1: all be all thing, like opening your mind to the
Speaker 1: expectation and transforming your expectations of like, this is life
Speaker 1: and I'm always growing and evolving. If you're on this
Speaker 1: growing and evolving journey, which if you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: you are right, Let's be honest, You're always going to
Speaker 1: be looking for the next thing.
Speaker 2: And so part of it.
Speaker 1: Is like, yes, have that gratitude, be so appreciative of
Speaker 1: where you are. Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me,
Speaker 1: like with my food freedom and the freedom that I
Speaker 1: have in my body, which is still also always evolving.
Speaker 1: I have great gratitude for where I am, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I want even more freedom.
Speaker 2: I want even more peace in my body.
Speaker 1: I want even more of the ability to wake up
Speaker 1: and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to
Speaker 1: change my thoughts.
Speaker 2: Right, I want more of that.
Speaker 1: So be grateful for where you are, but also be
Speaker 1: eager for the next level.
Speaker 2: But that also goes for your career.
Speaker 1: We talked about on the first two things can be
Speaker 1: true at the same time. You can find healing and
Speaker 1: then also say, you know what, I want to take
Speaker 1: my body to the next level. I want to see
Speaker 1: how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get,
Speaker 1: how great at an activity or sport I can get.
Speaker 4: So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize,
Speaker 4: you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.
Speaker 2: You're like all the.
Speaker 4: Way like, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I don't
Speaker 4: need to have goals. If I have goals, that's bad,
Speaker 4: Like I shouldn't care about my body.
Speaker 3: I just eat the oreos.
Speaker 4: You know, and then it swings the other way and
Speaker 4: levels it levels off. But I loved that first episode
Speaker 4: about you know, being pro body image and being aware
Speaker 4: of that, but also giving yourself the permission to absolutely
Speaker 4: have health goals if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah,
Speaker 4: that was the first part one of this. If y'all
Speaker 4: didn't hear it, you can go back and listen to it.
Speaker 4: Did you find the quote you look like you have.
Speaker 3: A the monologue?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have it. Okay, I I could see it
Speaker 2: in your eyes.
Speaker 4: Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because
Speaker 4: as far as like, oh, I don't want to ruin
Speaker 4: this part.
Speaker 3: Of the movie.
Speaker 4: Alert if you want to see it and you don't
Speaker 4: want to hear it from me, then okay, pause this
Speaker 4: really quick. But this is so good, Like I would
Speaker 4: go see the movie again just to see America Ferrera
Speaker 4: do this, although I'm sure I could like google that
Speaker 4: clip or something. Here it is written out America Frere's
Speaker 4: Barbie monologue, read by Amy. It is literally impossible to
Speaker 4: be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart,
Speaker 4: and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.
Speaker 4: Like we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're
Speaker 4: always doing it wrong. You have to be thin but
Speaker 4: not too thin, and you can never say you want
Speaker 4: to be thin, you have to say you want to
Speaker 4: be healthy, but also you have to be thin.
Speaker 2: You have to have.
Speaker 4: Money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
Speaker 4: You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
Speaker 4: You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
Speaker 4: You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk
Speaker 4: about your kids all the damn time. You have to
Speaker 4: be a career woman, but also always be looking out
Speaker 4: for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior,
Speaker 4: which is insane, but if you point that out, you're
Speaker 4: accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men,
Speaker 4: but not so pretty that you tempt them too much,
Speaker 4: or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to
Speaker 4: be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out
Speaker 4: and always be grateful, but never forget that the system
Speaker 4: is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that, but
Speaker 4: also always be grateful. You have to never get old,
Speaker 4: never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never
Speaker 4: fall down, never fail, never show fear.
Speaker 3: Never get out of line.
Speaker 4: It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody gives you
Speaker 4: a medal or says thank you, and it turns out
Speaker 4: in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong,
Speaker 4: but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired
Speaker 4: of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself
Speaker 4: into noughts so that people will like us. And if
Speaker 4: all of that is also true for a doll just
Speaker 4: representing women, then I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Wow, I was good, So I'm was so good, so
Speaker 1: true and such a topic to explore, because again we
Speaker 1: don't want to buy into like this is how it
Speaker 1: always is, but like, unfortunately, this is the reality as
Speaker 1: it's kind of presented to us. So that's why I
Speaker 1: think copics like today are so important, Like you can
Speaker 1: have both, and I mean it goes for the air
Speaker 1: quotes negative side of things too. I'll have clients come
Speaker 1: to me and be like, listen, I don't want to
Speaker 1: sound ungrateful. I have great parents, but and they have
Speaker 1: some sort of emotional wound or emotional need that didn't
Speaker 1: get filled. And part of it is I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: allowed to say, like, I have amazing parents and they
Speaker 1: didn't know what they didn't know, and there's something in
Speaker 1: me as an adult that I need to figure out,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that they're bad parents or that
Speaker 1: you're not grateful for the upbringing that you had. So
Speaker 1: it can go in so many different directions. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think when we live in these worlds of extremism
Speaker 1: of like you can't be too thin, you can't be
Speaker 1: to not thin, you can't talk about being thin, you
Speaker 1: can't talk about being rich, you can't all these like labels,
Speaker 1: and they're just words. They really are just words, right,
Speaker 1: and words only have the power of the meaning that
Speaker 1: we give them. When it's like, okay, screw all that, right,
Speaker 1: Like we write our own story and yes, be grateful, yes,
Speaker 1: like like find things to be appreciative about, but also
Speaker 1: give yourself permission to let your her dreams come true
Speaker 1: and to explore, like what do I really want and
Speaker 1: what would make me happy? And not just what I
Speaker 1: think looks good in society. You're on my Instagram feed,
Speaker 1: but like what do I really want? You know? I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people that's like where people change careers.
Speaker 1: When you see those stories of like she, you know,
Speaker 1: became I saw one the other day. She's like she
Speaker 1: became a personal trainer when she was seventy, you know,
Speaker 1: and she's like squatting three hundred pounds.
Speaker 2: I like that, that's not my dream, but you go girl, right?
Speaker 2: Or you know, I know my mom.
Speaker 1: When when we all graduated from college, she went back
Speaker 1: and got her interior design degree.
Speaker 2: She wasn't necessarily.
Speaker 1: Planning on using it, but she she did end up
Speaker 1: using it, but she just wanted to do it for her,
Speaker 1: you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life
Speaker 1: that you have and be grateful for it, but don't
Speaker 1: apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.
Speaker 2: That's what we're really trying to say.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd
Speaker 4: like to meet a man that does it. Like, if
Speaker 4: you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money,
Speaker 4: wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail
Speaker 4: me yeah.
Speaker 2: Or we're doing to study halla.
Speaker 4: We want to hear from you, because when that monologue
Speaker 4: was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm,
Speaker 4: I wonder how don't even feel this way? And I'm
Speaker 4: sure there are some and it also too. I want
Speaker 4: to say this that I know the two things can
Speaker 4: be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and
Speaker 4: you can want more, and you're allowed to want more,
Speaker 4: but we're not saying.
Speaker 3: You should want more.
Speaker 4: Right, you maybe have arrived and you're like, this is
Speaker 4: good for me, but that the challenge would be like,
Speaker 4: is this really good for you? Or are you conforming
Speaker 4: to the ways in which we've been hard right hardwired
Speaker 4: to sort of accept that, well, this is as far
Speaker 4: as I go, and I'm cool with that because I
Speaker 4: never saw myself even coming this far.
Speaker 3: So I'm thankful right totally.
Speaker 1: And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in
Speaker 1: a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more,
Speaker 1: or this is as good as it gets. As another
Speaker 1: form of that too, we're trying to telling ourselves like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just grateful for what I have, and it almost
Speaker 1: limits us. And when you said, like, show me a
Speaker 1: guy that has these limitations in their mind what came
Speaker 1: up for me? Is lis like, it shows us that
Speaker 1: this is all in our heads. These limitations live within
Speaker 1: our own perception of like, who the heck am I
Speaker 1: to have the right to ask for what I want?
Speaker 1: To put that steak in the ground, and it really
Speaker 1: is a limitation in our own mind.
Speaker 2: And I do it, I know you do, like we
Speaker 2: all do it.
Speaker 1: But that's where it's one of those things we're creating
Speaker 1: an awareness of, Like it doesn't have to be so,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant, cattie whatever.
Speaker 4: I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since
Speaker 4: this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating
Speaker 4: outweighs everything.
Speaker 3: But I think we can.
Speaker 4: This conversation is more so about the bigger picture of
Speaker 4: like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of
Speaker 4: having more space in my brain. Yes, when you're in
Speaker 4: the throes of it all, you're literally trying to make
Speaker 4: yourself small, but you are making yourself small in always
Speaker 4: likely even at your career, likely even in your home
Speaker 4: or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink yourself.
Speaker 4: And it's happening inside your brain too, and that can
Speaker 4: be very limiting. So when you have arrived in a
Speaker 4: sense to that healing place, you realize all this brain
Speaker 4: space you now have and it's like, okay, now what
Speaker 4: do I want to do with it? And again, it
Speaker 4: may be that you're cool content you don't have the
Speaker 4: bandwidth for whatever else. But also the question would be, Okay,
Speaker 4: what do I want to do with this new freed
Speaker 4: up space in my brain?
Speaker 1: Totally, I think knowing where you are and having that
Speaker 1: inner intuition of the season that you're in. So for example,
Speaker 1: when you air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good
Speaker 1: about something, knowing like, hey, I actually want to just
Speaker 1: stay put right here and I want to tread water.
Speaker 1: I want to just you know, live in this easy,
Speaker 1: breezy kind of way of thinking right now, or way
Speaker 1: of being or whatever it is right now. But because
Speaker 1: I'm choosing it, not because I don't think I can
Speaker 1: have more, or not because I think I should set
Speaker 1: the next level goal because somebody else has expectations of me.
Speaker 1: It's like knowing what you're doing and why you're doing
Speaker 1: it and where it's coming from. But treading water is
Speaker 1: a beautiful strategy sometimes, right sometimes we need to just
Speaker 1: tread water. And it's about knowing that the next level
Speaker 1: is there when we're ready for it, but having that
Speaker 1: wisdom and discernment to know when it's time.
Speaker 4: And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not
Speaker 4: cluttered right with all.
Speaker 3: The other thoughts that take over.
Speaker 4: And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing
Speaker 4: where you want to go with it next, because I
Speaker 4: think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food
Speaker 4: and all of that, we don't even.
Speaker 3: Know our career goals.
Speaker 1: Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental
Speaker 1: real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of
Speaker 1: what this is too.
Speaker 2: It's like invite.
Speaker 1: We said this a few episodes ago, like what if
Speaker 1: your body and your weight and what you're eating is
Speaker 1: the least interesting thing about you? Yeah, because you're so
Speaker 1: much more and then you. That creates space of like, well,
Speaker 1: what else is interesting about me? Oh?
Speaker 2: I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.
Speaker 1: I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy
Speaker 1: and capable, i have something to say, or I'm such
Speaker 1: a great friend or whatever.
Speaker 4: Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow
Speaker 4: myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself
Speaker 4: to four things, amen, three things.
Speaker 2: And I love my body.
Speaker 1: I love going dancing and paddleboarding and whenever, and when
Speaker 1: I'm not shaming it. I could actually go spend myself
Speaker 1: my time doing that, you know. So there's so much
Speaker 1: more outside of this, but again giving you compassion and
Speaker 1: grace if you're in it because you don't know what
Speaker 1: you don't know.
Speaker 2: That's why Outweigh exists.
Speaker 3: All right, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 1: Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn
Speaker 1: how to break out of your own food and body
Speaker 1: and shame, prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless
Speaker 1: Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 4: And I am at Radio Amy on socials and a
Speaker 4: radiome dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series,
Speaker 4: but Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh.
Speaker 4: As you can tell that transition has sort of happened.
Speaker 4: It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the
Speaker 4: next right thing and Leanne joining as co host. Here
Speaker 4: was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty. Lisa Haim and she's a registered dietitian
Speaker 4: that's amazing. She has a podcast called The Truthyist Life.
Speaker 4: She's evolved so much in the last few years and
Speaker 4: she unapologetically has evolved and I love following her on
Speaker 4: Instagram and she's she's real over there. She's like, my
Speaker 4: content is totally different than what it was. If you
Speaker 4: started following me a few years ago, and you're not
Speaker 4: into this, okay, well I get it. You're probably gonna
Speaker 4: unfollow me, and that is okay because I'm gonna just
Speaker 4: you know who I am, be who I am. And
Speaker 4: she's someone that is constantly evolving and has She's probably
Speaker 4: arrived multiple times. She's arrived, but then there's been a
Speaker 4: pivot and then she's a evolved and then arrived and
Speaker 4: then evolved and then arrived and so that's been cool
Speaker 4: to see with her, and you know, outweigh, I just
Speaker 4: felt very comfortable with Leanne and love her expertise and
Speaker 4: she is so passionate about helping others and knowledgeable. So
Speaker 4: thank you Leanne for joining us co host and pleasure. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we'll see y'all next Saturday.
Speaker 2: Bye bye