WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: Liar Liar

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so this week's Thursday Therapy, We've got Annie

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<v Speaker 2>sarnblad On. She is a human light detector, so she

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<v Speaker 2>is an expert in reading facial expressions as well as

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<v Speaker 2>a Steem strategic advisor. Who I'm so excited, I am

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<v Speaker 2>so nervous. Do you believe in light detectors?

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<v Speaker 3>Yep?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you Nope?

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, can I change my answer because I think I

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<v Speaker 2>remember a story? No, no, no, listen, I've known.

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<v Speaker 3>Why are you pointing at me?

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<v Speaker 2>I've known two people that passed the lie detector test personally,

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<v Speaker 2>know them that both lied. So I just don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if I try personal, pretty personal, but I will say this,

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<v Speaker 2>Kat is the most buttoned up, non commenting person today.

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<v Speaker 2>It's cracking me up. But we had just a view

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<v Speaker 2>of just her face with this entire time. Let me

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<v Speaker 2>just say this, as Catherine's got my gruntee little son

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<v Speaker 2>over there, I think I would trust the facial expressions

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<v Speaker 2>over the other ones. So that's why I'm really interested

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to her. Good point because it's actually easy

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<v Speaker 2>to how do I say this? You can pass a

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<v Speaker 2>lie detected chest by the breathing, so if they ask you,

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<v Speaker 2>it's taken your breath. So it's like if you go

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<v Speaker 2>if you know, yeah, like is your name Kristen, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're to ask it, so you have to control

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<v Speaker 2>your breathing for all the answers. Little Jana Panther.

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<v Speaker 1>One people to pass a detector does and this is

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<v Speaker 1>why they're not admissible in court.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think with facials, I again I would want

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<v Speaker 2>to know. That's why I'm so excited talk to her

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm like, I would believe that over anything else,

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<v Speaker 2>because there there's got to be a look or something.

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<v Speaker 2>There is something like a look to the left or something. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>let's get her on. And you're the actress, so this

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<v Speaker 2>is going to be a real test, a testimony to

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<v Speaker 2>your craft. And we got to truth and a lie

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<v Speaker 2>and we're going to see if she can decode it.

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<v Speaker 2>And one of mine is a speculation that you guys

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<v Speaker 2>might not know, okay, what there might be something you

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<v Speaker 2>don't know? Cat cat considering it. I find out today.

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<v Speaker 2>So we'll see.

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<v Speaker 1>Annie Annie hie.

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<v Speaker 4>Nice to see you all.

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<v Speaker 3>Nice to see.

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<v Speaker 2>What is your last name? I know your last name,

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<v Speaker 2>but what is the origin.

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<v Speaker 4>It's in English.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I totally did say that wrong. Then yeah, sartn

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<v Speaker 2>blood okay, and then what is it?

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<v Speaker 4>What is that if you want to say in Swedish?

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<v Speaker 3>It's Swedish? Okay, all right, I love that.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you?

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<v Speaker 3>Did you grow up there or did you grow up here?

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<v Speaker 4>It's my ex husband's name, but my maiden name is

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<v Speaker 4>actually Norwegian Solberg. Okay, it's so bye. So everybody. When

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<v Speaker 4>I moved to Sweden as a sixteen year old exchange student,

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<v Speaker 4>that was my version of running away from home. Everybody

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<v Speaker 4>thought I was Swedish. Sod help learn the language quickly

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<v Speaker 4>because people would just talk to me in Swedish.

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<v Speaker 2>And they see your ex husband because you saw a

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<v Speaker 2>facial expression that you didn't like.

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<v Speaker 4>No, No, Unfortunately, I just made bad choices.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, we've all been there.

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<v Speaker 4>He's a nice person. It wasn't a good fit and

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<v Speaker 4>I had a lot of traum in my childhood, so

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<v Speaker 4>I chose something that felt very safe and predictable.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I don't know if anybody has wrapped up

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<v Speaker 2>my life in a sentence quite as fast as you

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<v Speaker 2>just did. But so jinks, Annie, Yeah, buy me a coke,

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<v Speaker 2>that's right. But I will say this, So I love

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<v Speaker 2>that you went straight too. He's a good person. You

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<v Speaker 2>had your stuff, Like, I love that aspect of it.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not trying to be Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>He's because I've had I've dated other people that aren't

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<v Speaker 4>good people.

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<v Speaker 2>But difference also jinks. Okay, Annie, do you just want

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<v Speaker 2>to come sit down with us because.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel I really would like to, Like, I feel

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<v Speaker 4>like I just snuggle right there in the middle of

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<v Speaker 4>the sofa.

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<v Speaker 2>Who is this right now? He's three and a half

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<v Speaker 2>weeks old? So this is my son Jack Geez. I

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<v Speaker 2>always collim Jason Roman. I either call him the dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Or welcome to having three children, whichever kids you were Roman.

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<v Speaker 4>Yep, I've got three too, and I had I had

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<v Speaker 4>mine in just over three and a half years, so

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<v Speaker 4>I still get them confused.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's a thing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the thing all day every day.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean I do it probably every day.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I started to think, I'm like, maybe I should

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<v Speaker 2>change his name because I can't I keep them.

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<v Speaker 4>It's just fine, You're just in like it's I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>hormones and all the things.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure that was weird?

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<v Speaker 2>Is I have all l's. I have three kids, they're

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<v Speaker 2>all l's. And I don't confuse them, but I confuse

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<v Speaker 2>the boy like my husband and my son's name.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just about to say that I do that

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<v Speaker 1>Nick and Caiden are the same person.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, well sometimes I get him mixed up with the

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<v Speaker 4>dog too, Like that's not popular.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes the behaviors are somewhat similar, and it's warranted if

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<v Speaker 2>I'm honest. Between the eighty five year old. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So I have a question. We started briefly to chatted

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<v Speaker 2>about this. Do you believe it that lie detectors, the

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<v Speaker 2>ones that go on your chest, are those one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>percent accurate?

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<v Speaker 4>I actually have no idea. It's a great question, but

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<v Speaker 4>those are dealing with like heart rate and gosha. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't even really know how to answer that. It's not

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<v Speaker 4>something that's particularly interesting to me because the machinery detects

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<v Speaker 4>changes and breathing and heart rate and all these like

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<v Speaker 4>physiological reactions, and so a really good spy can create

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<v Speaker 4>an alternative reality, just like I mean, you know about this.

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<v Speaker 4>You're an actress, so like when you're in that scene,

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<v Speaker 4>you're living it, right if you're doing it, well, you're

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<v Speaker 4>there emotionally, yeah, and you're in it, and so really

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<v Speaker 4>good spy creates two parallel lines of thought, and it

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<v Speaker 4>can put themselves into like the emotional the like fantasy life,

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<v Speaker 4>so like did you did you murder her? And like

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<v Speaker 4>in Vegas and the like. If you can convince yourself

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<v Speaker 4>that I was on a beach in Akapolco, then you

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<v Speaker 4>were on a beach in a c Polco and you

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<v Speaker 4>could in theory trump the machine.

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<v Speaker 3>Right because yeah, okay, that makes yes.

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<v Speaker 4>That expressions that actually precede the thought process.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, what's that, Like, what's the first micro expression

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<v Speaker 2>that you would go That person is lying?

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<v Speaker 4>So I'm looking for the disconnect. So the facial expression

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<v Speaker 4>and the words don't match. So somebody, I mean, it's

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<v Speaker 4>as simple as somebody saying I did not do that

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<v Speaker 4>while they're nodding like that's our body leaking and that's

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<v Speaker 4>the knot isn't really a micro expression, and that's and

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<v Speaker 4>the knot is also not universal. It depends. That's Western society.

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<v Speaker 4>But if I say, I'm so happy to be on

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<v Speaker 4>your podcast and I'm showing the growl, I'm showing the

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<v Speaker 4>no face, that the facial expression of disgust, there's something

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<v Speaker 4>off there. I'm not actually feeling what I'm saying that

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<v Speaker 4>I'm feeling.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I am so nervous right now and I think

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<v Speaker 2>it I am the world's worst liar. Like I have

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<v Speaker 2>sweaty hands. I feel like I am being busted right

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<v Speaker 2>now and there's literally nothing. I've done nothing. But do

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<v Speaker 2>you know what's so funny? Is I really wish she

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<v Speaker 2>would say? And that's usually the people that lie once

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<v Speaker 2>say that like I would never do that.

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<v Speaker 3>I would.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just no, Like, I'm just right. I'm a chronic

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<v Speaker 2>overs like I'm a chronic oversharer, so like I won't

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<v Speaker 2>I can't even tell you that I had something that

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't have for lunch.

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<v Speaker 3>No manny talk to us about that.

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<v Speaker 4>Everybody wants to say to me. They're like, oh, you

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<v Speaker 4>must be awesome and poker, and I'm like no. The

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<v Speaker 4>reason that I'm obsessed with this has to do with

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<v Speaker 4>childhood that had a fair amount of trauma in it,

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<v Speaker 4>and the people that would that we're supposed to be trustworthy,

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<v Speaker 4>that lied to me all the time, and my obsession

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<v Speaker 4>with figuring out who I could rely on and who

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<v Speaker 4>was who was safe and who was trustworthy. And so

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<v Speaker 4>I'm a terrible liar. I really don't like lying, and

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<v Speaker 4>I don't like it when people lie to me. I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>the obsession comes from a need to figure out who

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<v Speaker 4>is it's less. My best friend always says, you're not

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<v Speaker 4>a lie detector, You're a truth detector. Like you don't

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<v Speaker 4>really care who lies to you. You want to figure

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<v Speaker 4>out who tells you the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>So has this been since childhood that you've had this

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<v Speaker 2>passion and then does it go into like learning the

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<v Speaker 2>traits professionally all of the thing.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So that the childhood piece is my why, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>why I got into it and why it was such

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<v Speaker 4>an obsession with me. And then the fact that I

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<v Speaker 4>was gaslightd so much about what I saw and what

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<v Speaker 4>I lived through, you know, that didn't happen a week

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<v Speaker 4>later that was no longer true, and I was told

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<v Speaker 4>to you know, family loyalty was very, very you know,

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<v Speaker 4>it was a big focus, and so I really ran

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<v Speaker 4>away and got away as early as I could. I

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<v Speaker 4>was fourteen years old when I started planning. You know,

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<v Speaker 4>I figured out that you could be an exchange student,

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<v Speaker 4>that you could basically go and live with another family,

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<v Speaker 4>and so that became my obsession, and I how I

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<v Speaker 4>got out and I was gone. I mean, it came

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<v Speaker 4>back for vacations and that kind of thing, but I

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<v Speaker 4>was It was almost twenty five years that I was

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<v Speaker 4>outside of the US, and I've lived in nine different countries.

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<v Speaker 4>So I spent much of my time learning languages. I

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<v Speaker 4>have a master's in anthropology, and I spent like this focus.

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<v Speaker 4>I was obsessed with learning languages through immersion. So and

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<v Speaker 4>I wasn't that great learning languages. So I literally have

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<v Speaker 4>spent years in my life not understanding what people are saying.

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<v Speaker 4>And then I got certified in what's called facial action

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<v Speaker 4>coding and learned to numerically code the different muscle combinations

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<v Speaker 4>in human expression. But I'm not that good at that

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<v Speaker 4>advanced mathematical coding, so I simplified the entire field to

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<v Speaker 4>be able to teach my kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's so interesting. So I grew up in a

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<v Speaker 1>similar situation and was basically taught to lie my whole

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<v Speaker 1>childhood and then to lie like told to lie, tell

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<v Speaker 1>your grandparents this, tell so and so.

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<v Speaker 2>This, so.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I would have a natural as I got older,

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<v Speaker 1>in natural inkland the smallest thing to just lie. And

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<v Speaker 1>then I got to a point where I'm like, hated

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<v Speaker 1>that is not cat by the way, but I hated lying.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's still a very I get very hurt, very

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<v Speaker 1>easily if I know someone's lying, and it is a

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<v Speaker 1>huge I take it.

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<v Speaker 2>So personal too. And I'm going through a phase of

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<v Speaker 2>my son right now. He's five, and he is the

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<v Speaker 2>sweetest liar, and it's like a I can tell, like

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be mean about it, but I

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<v Speaker 2>can feel it hit somewhere in my body where I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>you could be a million things in life, but don't

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<v Speaker 2>ever be a liar to me.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, I mean, we carry our own troublem And isn't

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<v Speaker 4>that so interesting with children that they hold this mirror

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<v Speaker 4>up to us where we not only have to figure

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<v Speaker 4>out what we want to do differently. I mean, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>even when you grow up in an ideal situation at home,

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<v Speaker 4>you want to figure out, like what what do I

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<v Speaker 4>want to do differently and what do I want to

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<v Speaker 4>do the same as my parents, and they really reflect back.

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<v Speaker 4>But for me, one of the hardest things is figuring

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<v Speaker 4>out how to kind of meet it in the middle

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<v Speaker 4>and not just respond from my trauma all the time,

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<v Speaker 4>but grow through it and heal and say that like, Okay,

0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.480
<v Speaker 4>a five year old lie is pretty normal and you

0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.800
<v Speaker 4>can write and you don't want to shame them, but

0:11:57.840 --> 0:11:59.959
<v Speaker 4>you also want to talk about how that makes you

0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:04.000
<v Speaker 4>feel without bringing all the druma. I mean I remember

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.040
<v Speaker 4>my oldest looking at me at one point and saying,

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.840
<v Speaker 4>not everything has to be a life lessen mom.

0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:12.240
<v Speaker 2>That's kind of how I feel though, Like I feel

0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.000
<v Speaker 2>like I'm I feel like I'm doing that. Like I'm like,

0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.040
<v Speaker 2>if it starts now, then he's gonna spiral and he's

0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 2>gonna you know, and I'm like, really, he's just five

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.120
<v Speaker 2>and he's just got a big imagination.

0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.559
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but you should still tell him what you're feeling

0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 4>and you know, but in age appropriate words.

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 2>But or maybe we just FaceTime miss Annie and she

0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:29.120
<v Speaker 2>can tell me what's really like.

0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 4>Now.

0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 3>Have you dealt with that too, with the kid aspect.

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean five is a very normal age for

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:38.000
<v Speaker 1>them to start doing that. We just have, like I

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.760
<v Speaker 1>have to find ways with my older kids to be like,

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:42.800
<v Speaker 1>as long as you tell me the truth, as long

0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 1>as you're honest with me, we can deal with anything.

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 3>Like what we have.

0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:47.920
<v Speaker 1>We just very much deal with that. But like I

0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:49.680
<v Speaker 1>haven't have a hard time in my marriage because I'm like,

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.520
<v Speaker 1>you lied, and he'll be like I said, it was blue,

0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.760
<v Speaker 1>not green. I mean, it'll be the smallest thing, and

0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.760
<v Speaker 1>he's like, you've got to let that go, like and

0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:00.280
<v Speaker 1>it can get hard. So I'm trying to be better

0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:02.760
<v Speaker 1>about it because it's not It's also not that black

0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.040
<v Speaker 1>and white to me. It's like a Lia's Eliza, lie,

0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.480
<v Speaker 1>you omitted this and you lied to me, you know,

0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:10.280
<v Speaker 1>And so I have to I have to bring myself

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:11.000
<v Speaker 1>back from that.

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:13.920
<v Speaker 3>And I as childhood trauma on the couch.

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.960
<v Speaker 1>And not great in these days.

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:23.080
<v Speaker 4>It's really everybody that has childhood trauma exactly.

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.040
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just because we're all talking about it finally.

0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:27.520
<v Speaker 1>But I also don't think I would want to be

0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:28.839
<v Speaker 1>able to do what she can do.

0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:43.760
<v Speaker 2>Is there error in what you do as well? Like

0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:47.360
<v Speaker 2>when you so for example, like my fiance is the

0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:51.679
<v Speaker 2>most loving, i mean sweet human being, but he's he's

0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:56.079
<v Speaker 2>more he's he's Scottish, he's a little bit more harsher

0:13:56.120 --> 0:14:01.000
<v Speaker 2>on his expressions. He's more like, I know he loves me.

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 2>But I think when maybe some people that might see

0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.679
<v Speaker 2>something and be like, oh well, he's not doesn't look

0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:09.560
<v Speaker 2>very happy or something, and I'm like, he's right. So

0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.600
<v Speaker 2>that that piece, I'm like, well, you don't also know

0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:14.360
<v Speaker 2>you know X, Y and Z.

0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:15.480
<v Speaker 3>So I'm just curious.

0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Is there a piece of it where it's like it's

0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.560
<v Speaker 2>not all about just the facial I guess.

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.400
<v Speaker 4>Okay, So how can I have a dirty mouth? Like

0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:31.040
<v Speaker 4>how sure? Yeah, okay. So I can always tell the emotion.

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.920
<v Speaker 4>I can tell what somebody is feeling clear as day.

0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 4>I cannot tell what they are thinking. I can't tell

0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.760
<v Speaker 4>the why. But the micro expressions when you get to

0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 4>the level that I'm at, and my kids have been

0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.800
<v Speaker 4>trained by me, so we never missed the micro expression.

0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:51.040
<v Speaker 3>And that's the nod the right.

0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:54.800
<v Speaker 4>So so like this is the full facial expression of disgust.

0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:57.920
<v Speaker 3>So that yeah, she's kind of like clenching her teeth

0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 3>a little bit.

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.000
<v Speaker 4>We're actually trained out of it as as grown ups,

0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:05.960
<v Speaker 4>and the micro expression that leaks that, you know, we're

0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 4>trained out of these micro expressions by or the macro expressions,

0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:13.000
<v Speaker 4>the long, big facial expressions out from our parents because

0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.920
<v Speaker 4>it's not socially acceptable to be like, oh, you want

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.440
<v Speaker 4>me to go over to your house? Oh, right. We

0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.080
<v Speaker 4>you know we can't, we can't go through life in

0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.640
<v Speaker 4>a socially acceptable way. But the micro expressions precede the

0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:28.000
<v Speaker 4>thought process and they leak all day long. So it's like, oh,

0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 4>you want me to do this deal with you. That

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 4>twitch is always there, so I can see the exact

0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 4>moment and the exact feelings, sometimes even before the person

0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.560
<v Speaker 4>feeling it has time to process their emotions. However, I

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 4>don't know why, Like if I ask you to meet

0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.600
<v Speaker 4>me for lunch next week and you showed disgust, which

0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.840
<v Speaker 4>I call the no face, that little twitch. I don't

0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:53.680
<v Speaker 4>know if it's because you're busy. I don't know if

0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 4>it's because you don't like me. I don't know if

0:15:55.760 --> 0:16:00.600
<v Speaker 4>it's because you have, like, you know, some visitor, or

0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 4>because you really you wanted to read my book before

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 4>you continued working with me, and you hadn't had a chance.

0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:11.000
<v Speaker 4>I mean, there's all these scenarios. So I when I

0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.000
<v Speaker 4>speak frankly, I say, it's as universal as a man

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 4>with an erection. If you set a naked man with

0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.880
<v Speaker 4>an erection, he is aroused. I don't know if he's

0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 4>thinking about me.

0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.840
<v Speaker 2>But I know that's a different podcast altogether.

0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.480
<v Speaker 4>Right, that's a different podcast. But if he's standing there

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.360
<v Speaker 4>going like I'm not aroused, you're going, well, yes you are,

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.240
<v Speaker 4>because there's a change in blood flow and muscle movement

0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 4>in response to that arousal.

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.320
<v Speaker 2>Will my bowtox throw you off?

0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.520
<v Speaker 4>On my and the level that I work with, because

0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.240
<v Speaker 4>it's almost, like I explain it, like if you do

0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 4>a five hundred puzzle piece puzzle and it's sailboats, and

0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 4>then you take out a bunch of the puzzle pieces,

0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:54.720
<v Speaker 4>I can still see it's just it's still boats. So

0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.360
<v Speaker 4>that's sort of a simplified way of saying with every expression,

0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:00.120
<v Speaker 4>there's a top piece and a bottom piece. And so,

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:04.560
<v Speaker 4>for example, a genuine smile, what happens has nothing to

0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 4>do with the mouth. If we're genuinely feeling joy, our

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 4>cheeks pop up and that makes this skin right here

0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:14.360
<v Speaker 4>under our eyes bold it out, and we get these

0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:19.919
<v Speaker 4>little smile bags. So if I'm if I'm masked, you

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:21.880
<v Speaker 4>can still see that regardless if you see my mouth

0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:22.199
<v Speaker 4>or not.

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 2>I am so fascinated by you. So could we do

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.440
<v Speaker 2>Can we do a little game before we talk about

0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:28.840
<v Speaker 2>your book?

0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:29.640
<v Speaker 4>Sure?

0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:30.080
<v Speaker 3>Okay?

0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.080
<v Speaker 2>Can we do two truths and can we do two

0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:32.920
<v Speaker 2>truths and a lie?

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:37.080
<v Speaker 4>Sure, it might go first. It might be this is

0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 4>a little tricky because people get so joyful about lying

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 4>and situations.

0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.399
<v Speaker 2>I am not. You're not joyful, and I want you

0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 2>to go first.

0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.439
<v Speaker 4>So shame. But you're gonna show like a little bit

0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:53.040
<v Speaker 4>of delight. So okay, we go, let's try it.

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, don't you go first? No, you go first? No,

0:17:58.440 --> 0:17:59.640
<v Speaker 2>Catherine got and I vote?

0:17:59.680 --> 0:17:59.879
<v Speaker 4>Thank you?

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, okay, okay, let me get my questions. Okay,

0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 2>So two truths and a lie? Ready, and I would

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.120
<v Speaker 2>have another kid I got wrongfully sued last year.

0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:14.679
<v Speaker 3>Alan and I are already married.

0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:17.639
<v Speaker 4>So that was dead panned. But you showed, you showed

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:19.399
<v Speaker 4>mirth that thought we're already married.

0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 3>What does mirth mean?

0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:23.440
<v Speaker 4>It just means like tricky business.

0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.760
<v Speaker 2>That should actually be the name of this podcast, dream business.

0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.000
<v Speaker 4>So I don't know because you said it's so fast,

0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.680
<v Speaker 4>and then you were like, hey.

0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.919
<v Speaker 1>If you're already married, I'm gonna lose my mind.

0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I do have an extra band on my

0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:44.280
<v Speaker 2>hand that no one's asked about. Can you say I

0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:47.600
<v Speaker 2>don't know which one? Sure, I'll say him again. I

0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:51.160
<v Speaker 2>would have another kid, I got wrongfully sued last year.

0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Alan and I are already married an actress.

0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:59.200
<v Speaker 4>So the wrongfully sued last year, you showed a little disgust.

0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.320
<v Speaker 4>So I'm guessing that you were wrongfully sued.

0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:09.880
<v Speaker 1>Catherine, Well, I know you were wrongfully so say true true,

0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:15.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah the other two I'm questioning myself over here when

0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:17.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm worried about the answer on both.

0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:21.000
<v Speaker 4>It's fun, like it is a fun game. The really

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.119
<v Speaker 4>interesting thing for me is that when people are in

0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:28.960
<v Speaker 4>a high stake situation, because they'll often show shame. And

0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:33.800
<v Speaker 4>so what I look for in somebody exhibiting shines of

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:37.680
<v Speaker 4>being a sociopath, for example, is whether or not they

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:42.040
<v Speaker 4>show shame when they're lying, and whether or not they

0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 4>show empathy when someone else gets hurt. We should pucker

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.399
<v Speaker 4>our chin. That's a crucial piece of empathy. So if

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 4>you're telling you about something that's really hard, like if

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:54.560
<v Speaker 4>you go into detail about being wrongfully sued, I'm gonna

0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:57.680
<v Speaker 4>pucker my chin because that's not fair. I'm feeling your

0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:01.959
<v Speaker 4>pain with you. So if somebody doesn't ever show that,

0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:03.960
<v Speaker 4>and you're supposed to be emotionally attached, so like if

0:20:04.000 --> 0:20:06.920
<v Speaker 4>you're dating somebody and you're trying to figure out, Okay,

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:08.480
<v Speaker 4>I know this guy's attracted to me, but does he

0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:12.400
<v Speaker 4>actually care about my feelings? You know, whenever you talk

0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:16.320
<v Speaker 4>about something that's emotionally, physically, or financially difficult for you,

0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:20.600
<v Speaker 4>he should be puckering and mirroring that chin. That's basically

0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:22.560
<v Speaker 4>saying I'm feeling this feeling with you.

0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:25.880
<v Speaker 2>And like, if you were to ask a partner are

0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:28.720
<v Speaker 2>you cheating on me? What would be their face of lie?

0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, this is why we're best friend.

0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:36.479
<v Speaker 4>But so I do get this question sometimes. Yeah, this

0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:39.200
<v Speaker 4>is so if he says no, one nods. That's a

0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 4>problem anytime somebody says again, we're talking about the US, Canada, Mexico,

0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:47.240
<v Speaker 4>Western Europe. Like if you get over to Sri Lanka

0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:49.639
<v Speaker 4>and India, there's different head movements. So that is a

0:20:49.680 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 4>cultural thing. But in our culture. I grew up in

0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.280
<v Speaker 4>the US too, this means yes and this means no.

0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:58.119
<v Speaker 2>So he's like, we say that again. This so shaking

0:20:58.160 --> 0:20:59.760
<v Speaker 2>your head means shaking your head.

0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:05.360
<v Speaker 4>No means so I've never done that, and absolutely I'll

0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:08.439
<v Speaker 4>be there for you. That matches, right, But if you're

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:12.280
<v Speaker 4>saying I'm never I would never cheat on you. That's

0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:13.120
<v Speaker 4>a problem.

0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:15.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that made me feel weird when you did that.

0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:17.880
<v Speaker 4>Actually it feels itchy, right. You always trust your gut,

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 4>even if you can't dissect it or you don't know

0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:22.760
<v Speaker 4>the science behind it. There's a reason that our gut

0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:24.479
<v Speaker 4>is telling us. And so what I'm trying to do

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:28.000
<v Speaker 4>is help women put the words, put the science on

0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:30.600
<v Speaker 4>why their gut is telling them certain things.

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.439
<v Speaker 2>So then what else with the head nod with the

0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:34.359
<v Speaker 2>the cheating question.

0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:38.199
<v Speaker 4>So my son came to me and said to me,

0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.679
<v Speaker 4>he's eighteen and he was a few months ago and

0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:43.199
<v Speaker 4>he said maybe. It was last year he said, I

0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:44.840
<v Speaker 4>want to go out on Saturday night? Can I go

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:46.960
<v Speaker 4>out to this party? And I was like maybe? And

0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:50.359
<v Speaker 4>he goes, thanks, because all my kids are trained, and

0:21:50.400 --> 0:21:52.679
<v Speaker 4>I go I said maybe, and he goes yeah. But

0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:54.800
<v Speaker 4>when you say maybe, and you know that's always you're

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 4>always end up saying yes because you're thinking yes. And

0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.520
<v Speaker 4>when you say maybe and you shake your head, that

0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:01.560
<v Speaker 4>means you're not You're gonna say no. You always say

0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:02.480
<v Speaker 4>no when you shake your head.

0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:07.760
<v Speaker 2>So have you outsmarted yourself raising these little idea? I

0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 2>know I'm kind of feeling it for you. I'm glad

0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:11.560
<v Speaker 2>there's more of you in the world. But then I'm

0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:13.880
<v Speaker 2>also like, oh, kind of sucks to be the mom.

0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:17.399
<v Speaker 4>K of when your kids can see you're attracted to

0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:21.880
<v Speaker 4>somebody because your pupils dilate. That sucks. You're like, oh,

0:22:21.960 --> 0:22:22.800
<v Speaker 4>you think he's hot.

0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:27.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, no, awkward when it's like mister Smith

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:27.959
<v Speaker 2>and math teacher.

0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:44.240
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, so wait, have we figured out you're lying yet?

0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:50.960
<v Speaker 3>It's very important I give one truth in one lie.

0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:54.360
<v Speaker 1>No, I want to know. I want to know.

0:22:55.000 --> 0:22:55.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry.

0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:59.080
<v Speaker 4>No, I'm not doing that well.

0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:01.000
<v Speaker 2>I just was thinking. I get a lot of comments

0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.200
<v Speaker 2>on this podcast. They'll post a little bit of the

0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:06.760
<v Speaker 2>of like the video of this podcast sometimes in to

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:09.399
<v Speaker 2>tease the episode, and people write to me all the

0:23:09.400 --> 0:23:12.719
<v Speaker 2>time they're like, we wish we had a full video

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:16.440
<v Speaker 2>of your expressions because I feel like I'm not good

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:18.159
<v Speaker 2>at hiding it. And then I feel like, sometimes I

0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:19.800
<v Speaker 2>look at me, it looks like I'm not having any fun,

0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:21.360
<v Speaker 2>but I'm so always.

0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:23.640
<v Speaker 1>My face always looks like I'm mad.

0:23:24.200 --> 0:23:26.919
<v Speaker 4>But okay, so that is that like when we furrow

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 4>our brow. So even if you've got botox and you

0:23:29.600 --> 0:23:32.800
<v Speaker 4>think that that actually impedes these muscles from ferr and

0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.639
<v Speaker 4>these are thinking muscles, are concentrating muscles, and we like

0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 4>tend to bring this all down. And it's almost like

0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:41.240
<v Speaker 4>kick starts the process of thinking of like problem solving,

0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:44.879
<v Speaker 4>and there's a piece of problem solving both in problem

0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:48.920
<v Speaker 4>solving and in anger. But people mistakenly think this sort

0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:53.120
<v Speaker 4>of stern look is necessary necessarily anger, and it's only

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:54.640
<v Speaker 4>anger if the mouth is tight.

0:23:56.240 --> 0:23:57.880
<v Speaker 1>And that's what I feel like I am on here.

0:23:58.320 --> 0:24:00.920
<v Speaker 1>It's usually when I'm listening and I really thinking about

0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:05.280
<v Speaker 1>what you're saying. I look miserable, but I'm truly thinking.

0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like I look like I have reasting beef.

0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:08.840
<v Speaker 1>And Janna's like, why are you looking at me like that?

0:24:09.600 --> 0:24:10.120
<v Speaker 4>Are we good?

0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:11.760
<v Speaker 3>Okay?

0:24:12.040 --> 0:24:15.840
<v Speaker 4>It doesn't look friendly because our brains processed as part

0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:18.280
<v Speaker 4>of anger. And that's correct, and it's the part of anger.

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:20.040
<v Speaker 4>But anger is always going to have like whether the

0:24:20.200 --> 0:24:25.159
<v Speaker 4>mouth is shut or open, it's always it clenches everything,

0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:28.640
<v Speaker 4>That's what it's like. It clenches our shoulders or clenches

0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:30.760
<v Speaker 4>our fists so that we are preparing to fight.

0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:34.439
<v Speaker 2>I think there's a good piece of what you just

0:24:34.440 --> 0:24:38.320
<v Speaker 2>said too about it's yes, the expression like if you

0:24:38.359 --> 0:24:40.439
<v Speaker 2>were to ask someone okay, have you cheated or or

0:24:40.480 --> 0:24:43.760
<v Speaker 2>did you cheat on me? Your your your gut is

0:24:43.760 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 2>also asking that question too, right, So I think there's

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:50.680
<v Speaker 2>such a good piece with it. Yeah, exactly, like even

0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:54.600
<v Speaker 2>having that conversation, even asking that's a huge, like you said,

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:57.560
<v Speaker 2>huge problem. So yeah, I think that's the first thing

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.399
<v Speaker 2>and going okay, if you're asking that, right, you're is

0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:02.359
<v Speaker 2>telling you something that's probably not.

0:25:02.320 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Good, probably not a good sign.

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:05.680
<v Speaker 4>If you have to ask, I would totally I would

0:25:05.760 --> 0:25:08.480
<v Speaker 4>totally agree. And so I'm always looking at whether or

0:25:08.520 --> 0:25:12.560
<v Speaker 4>not the facial expressions match the words. So somebody who

0:25:12.600 --> 0:25:16.600
<v Speaker 4>says I'm really happy for you, that's a problem showing disgusting,

0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:19.760
<v Speaker 4>that's a problem. You know I got that, I got

0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:22.000
<v Speaker 4>that great promotion, or I just had a baby. You know,

0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:25.240
<v Speaker 4>people should be like, you know, yay, congratulations. They should

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:30.320
<v Speaker 4>be lifting up their cheeks. That's joy. Their body language

0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.960
<v Speaker 4>and everything should be aligned. If something feels off, it's

0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 4>because it's your primitive brain processing that something's wrong. Those

0:25:37.840 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 4>are your survival skills kicking in.

0:25:41.280 --> 0:25:43.560
<v Speaker 2>We have a girl's night coming up, and it's gonna

0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:47.480
<v Speaker 2>be funny that there's three of us pseudo trained. But

0:25:47.560 --> 0:25:50.800
<v Speaker 2>also you're a great actress, as we saw in at

0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:54.800
<v Speaker 2>my fortieth birthday party. So when I'm being funny, not

0:25:54.920 --> 0:25:57.920
<v Speaker 2>when I'm being serious, one truth, one lie, one truth,

0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:00.639
<v Speaker 2>one lie. Yep, I probably have the most botox of

0:26:00.640 --> 0:26:03.800
<v Speaker 2>anyone on this couch. So this is the ultimate test. Annie. Okay,

0:26:04.000 --> 0:26:07.280
<v Speaker 2>I've ridden a camel. Yeah, I've been strapped to a

0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:10.920
<v Speaker 2>semi going fifty five miles an hour. I kind of

0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:12.640
<v Speaker 2>got to say the truth is the fifty five miles

0:26:12.640 --> 0:26:14.160
<v Speaker 2>an hour. I'm like, oh my god, that's because that's

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:16.000
<v Speaker 2>so crazy.

0:26:16.320 --> 0:26:19.440
<v Speaker 4>I cannot tell. I literally can't tell.

0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:21.280
<v Speaker 2>Is this when I give a shout out to my

0:26:21.320 --> 0:26:25.880
<v Speaker 2>injector or because or is it that I've put myself

0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>in two places in my brain?

0:26:28.200 --> 0:26:30.639
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. I mean, i'd like, I literally just

0:26:30.840 --> 0:26:31.520
<v Speaker 4>I can't tell.

0:26:32.480 --> 0:26:33.679
<v Speaker 2>I've never ridden a camel.

0:26:33.920 --> 0:26:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I was saying, you're strapped to a on the show, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:26:37.960 --> 0:26:39.840
<v Speaker 2>My husband had to help me with this, which makes

0:26:39.840 --> 0:26:42.720
<v Speaker 2>me a little nervous actually, because I'm I've always sucked

0:26:42.800 --> 0:26:45.399
<v Speaker 2>notoriously at two truths and a why even in school

0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:47.200
<v Speaker 2>and everything, Because I just I don't know why there's

0:26:47.200 --> 0:26:50.639
<v Speaker 2>something like weird in my brain that happens that anyways, it's.

0:26:50.520 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 4>A weird game. And what I usually get people will

0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:54.560
<v Speaker 4>do this to me at cocktail parties are at it

0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:57.240
<v Speaker 4>and they'll be like, Okay, I'm gonna like it.

0:26:57.680 --> 0:26:59.879
<v Speaker 3>I'm they show to light.

0:27:00.000 --> 0:27:02.320
<v Speaker 4>Which is what we call that facial expression of like

0:27:02.720 --> 0:27:05.159
<v Speaker 4>of trickery, like I'm going to get you on. But

0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:08.040
<v Speaker 4>now it's a game, and that's what's usually off. What

0:27:08.119 --> 0:27:11.320
<v Speaker 4>was kind of interesting and you say both of those

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:15.080
<v Speaker 4>things is you just kind of deadpanned the straight up,

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:20.119
<v Speaker 4>like like just send them boats straight out without much emotion.

0:27:20.200 --> 0:27:22.040
<v Speaker 4>But that when you said I've never ridden a camel,

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:26.200
<v Speaker 4>you tucked your you touched one corner of your lips

0:27:26.240 --> 0:27:28.080
<v Speaker 4>into the into the cheek, and that's what we call

0:27:28.119 --> 0:27:30.439
<v Speaker 4>a knowing smile. So that's like, I know, I know

0:27:30.560 --> 0:27:31.120
<v Speaker 4>about this.

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:32.959
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:36.399
<v Speaker 2>So you have a book out that's called Diary of

0:27:36.440 --> 0:27:39.719
<v Speaker 2>a Human Light Detector Facial Expressions and Love, Lust and Lies.

0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:44.080
<v Speaker 2>What is the biggest takeaway that you that will help

0:27:44.840 --> 0:27:48.520
<v Speaker 2>people that read this book? And then what your biggest like,

0:27:48.680 --> 0:27:50.360
<v Speaker 2>what was your favorite chapter in it?

0:27:50.440 --> 0:27:51.640
<v Speaker 3>So we can promote the book.

0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:57.359
<v Speaker 4>So the biggest takeaway is that these are things that

0:27:57.400 --> 0:28:01.159
<v Speaker 4>we kind of sort of already know. The pieces that

0:28:01.240 --> 0:28:05.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm teaching for a lot of us women. When I

0:28:05.920 --> 0:28:09.919
<v Speaker 4>hit my audience right, people are reading the pieces about

0:28:09.920 --> 0:28:12.840
<v Speaker 4>my life and then I'm dissecting them and teaching the

0:28:12.880 --> 0:28:17.640
<v Speaker 4>facial expressions using my life's stories. And when I'm hitting

0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:20.760
<v Speaker 4>my audience right, they're they're looking at these they're reading this,

0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:25.240
<v Speaker 4>They're going, yes, that's true, and I know this facial

0:28:25.280 --> 0:28:28.639
<v Speaker 4>expression and I know Barack Obama always makes the facial

0:28:28.640 --> 0:28:29.679
<v Speaker 4>expression of suppression.

0:28:30.520 --> 0:28:32.880
<v Speaker 3>I would love to see you in politics.

0:28:33.280 --> 0:28:37.400
<v Speaker 4>Right, Yeah, there's that would be a whole other podcast.

0:28:37.960 --> 0:28:40.560
<v Speaker 3>But there's certain peace to thy coming, right.

0:28:40.760 --> 0:28:43.400
<v Speaker 4>That's the people that certain people make and when we

0:28:43.600 --> 0:28:46.000
<v Speaker 4>when I break it down and I show it, or

0:28:46.040 --> 0:28:49.240
<v Speaker 4>that Mona Lisa smile of kind of like yeah, that

0:28:49.400 --> 0:28:52.360
<v Speaker 4>half one lopside and smile like I know about that,

0:28:52.360 --> 0:28:54.479
<v Speaker 4>that sort of secret I know something you don't know.

0:28:55.120 --> 0:28:57.880
<v Speaker 4>Or the dilation of the pupil, which which is so

0:28:58.040 --> 0:29:00.760
<v Speaker 4>useful in love and dating to see if somebody's really

0:29:00.800 --> 0:29:04.480
<v Speaker 4>feeling aroused in the moment. They're people's swell during the

0:29:04.560 --> 0:29:06.560
<v Speaker 4>conversation and you're like, oh, my god, I have this

0:29:06.600 --> 0:29:09.160
<v Speaker 4>person in the palm of my hands. They're really interested,

0:29:09.160 --> 0:29:13.400
<v Speaker 4>they want me right now. Those pieces are so juicy

0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:17.160
<v Speaker 4>and so interesting, and I think for a lot of women,

0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:22.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm putting words on things that they intuitively have always

0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:26.680
<v Speaker 4>known because I'm describing the universal language of our species,

0:29:27.080 --> 0:29:30.960
<v Speaker 4>which is biologically hardwired into us. And I think they're men.

0:29:31.080 --> 0:29:33.080
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I have male friends that I work with

0:29:33.120 --> 0:29:36.320
<v Speaker 4>that I really enjoy intellectually, and they've said I can't

0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:38.920
<v Speaker 4>get through ten pages, like there's too many feelings.

0:29:39.160 --> 0:29:42.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Oh, I'm so excited. I'm really excited. I'm just

0:29:42.760 --> 0:29:44.160
<v Speaker 2>going to leave it on the nightstand. I think it

0:29:44.200 --> 0:29:45.080
<v Speaker 2>speaks for itself.

0:29:46.560 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 4>I like peaks about love and lust. That's my favorite.

0:29:49.760 --> 0:29:54.920
<v Speaker 4>Those pieces. I think I will endlessly be interested in

0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:58.360
<v Speaker 4>knowing if someone that I have strong feelings for me

0:29:58.480 --> 0:30:02.160
<v Speaker 4>is one attracted to me too emotionally attached to me?

0:30:02.400 --> 0:30:04.400
<v Speaker 4>Does he want me? And does he love me? I

0:30:04.400 --> 0:30:06.720
<v Speaker 4>think are such universal questions.

0:30:07.040 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and that's an ad to cart for everyone. So

0:30:10.000 --> 0:30:11.760
<v Speaker 2>thank you any so much for coming on the show.

0:30:12.120 --> 0:30:14.120
<v Speaker 2>Would love to have you back on. You're so sweet.

0:30:14.200 --> 0:30:19.400
<v Speaker 4>Thank you nice Kat.

0:30:19.400 --> 0:30:22.120
<v Speaker 2>We didn't get to you, but we're also your truth

0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:24.960
<v Speaker 2>and I just don't know. We have to lie.

0:30:25.720 --> 0:30:27.320
<v Speaker 1>I need to know if you're having another baby or

0:30:27.360 --> 0:30:29.880
<v Speaker 1>you're married. This is so important.

0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:34.480
<v Speaker 3>I can guess what you say, what you think the lie?

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:35.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what do you think?

0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:38.240
<v Speaker 2>You and I are both walking out?

0:30:39.160 --> 0:30:39.440
<v Speaker 4>True?

0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:43.800
<v Speaker 1>I know, but also are you really thinking about having

0:30:43.760 --> 0:30:44.680
<v Speaker 1>another baby?

0:30:45.080 --> 0:30:49.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think they're both lies. I'm hoping, but one.

0:30:49.560 --> 0:30:50.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm not hoping.

0:30:50.160 --> 0:30:51.400
<v Speaker 3>I'm babies.

0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Right, We're down to the final truth.

0:30:55.400 --> 0:30:58.920
<v Speaker 3>Done, dun dun well. The truth is I would have

0:30:58.960 --> 0:30:59.520
<v Speaker 3>another kid.

0:30:59.680 --> 0:31:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm not going to, but you would, but I would, okay,

0:31:03.800 --> 0:31:07.960
<v Speaker 2>And this is just the present with the three birthstones.

0:31:07.960 --> 0:31:09.360
<v Speaker 2>And I know I was like, I don't remember your

0:31:09.360 --> 0:31:10.880
<v Speaker 2>pupils when you told me about the band.

0:31:10.880 --> 0:31:14.040
<v Speaker 1>When I asked, oh my gosh, okay, so mine mine

0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:14.640
<v Speaker 1>are stupid?

0:31:15.120 --> 0:31:17.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I be ready ye true, we're gonna do. I'm

0:31:17.560 --> 0:31:19.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna okay, we're going to beat the LA texture test.

0:31:20.520 --> 0:31:33.720
<v Speaker 1>I pete on myself in Walmart, ready.

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:39.160
<v Speaker 4>On myself and can't take this rid.

0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:42.840
<v Speaker 3>I might just on thee.

0:31:44.960 --> 0:31:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I pee on myself in the car writer line, who

0:31:50.120 --> 0:31:56.040
<v Speaker 1>knew you were the number one girl? Okay?

0:31:56.080 --> 0:31:57.200
<v Speaker 3>So we put on myself.

0:32:02.120 --> 0:32:04.760
<v Speaker 1>This is why I said, no, you pooped on your

0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:05.720
<v Speaker 1>self Ware at work.

0:32:07.480 --> 0:32:13.520
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna go with I'm gonna say to embarrassing. I'm

0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:14.200
<v Speaker 3>gonna say that.

0:32:14.240 --> 0:32:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna say the lie is that she peed on

0:32:17.640 --> 0:32:18.360
<v Speaker 2>herself in Walmart.

0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:22.640
<v Speaker 3>I don't think you want you go to Walmart, but.

0:32:22.640 --> 0:32:24.280
<v Speaker 2>I do think you poop your pants.

0:32:25.000 --> 0:32:26.400
<v Speaker 3>I think we've all shard before.

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:31.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, I didn't see you before. I don't even

0:32:31.880 --> 0:32:32.160
<v Speaker 2>know where.

0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:36.480
<v Speaker 3>Any Way, I love Walmart. I want to put that

0:32:36.480 --> 0:32:36.800
<v Speaker 3>out there.

0:32:37.600 --> 0:32:38.960
<v Speaker 1>I just thought that would be a fun.

0:32:39.000 --> 0:32:41.160
<v Speaker 2>I just never heard you go to Walmart, so that's where. Okay,

0:32:41.200 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 2>that's my that's sting the lies. Okay, you peed in

0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Walmart yourself and Walmart you peed yourself Ware.

0:32:45.960 --> 0:32:49.400
<v Speaker 3>Car rider Line pooped yourself at work? I say the

0:32:49.720 --> 0:32:50.480
<v Speaker 3>car rider.

0:32:50.320 --> 0:32:54.600
<v Speaker 1>Line definitely did not pee myself at Walmart.

0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:56.520
<v Speaker 4>Good job.

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:59.760
<v Speaker 1>You know a pop story though, anyway, so sure do

0:33:00.040 --> 0:33:00.560
<v Speaker 1>as everybody.

0:33:01.360 --> 0:33:04.240
<v Speaker 2>I think it's kind of fun and we're rapping. Bye guys,

0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:06.200
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye