WEBVTT - The Four Sixes Dating Trend: High Standards Or Avoiding Intimacy?

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<v Speaker 1>And the folks did it Sunday, June twenty eighth, And

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<v Speaker 1>we'll be honest with you. Right before we hit the

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<v Speaker 1>record button for this episode, I said to Robes, this

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<v Speaker 1>is so stupid and her response was, yeah, it is.

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<v Speaker 1>And with that, welcome to this episode of AY and TJ. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>you bring a lot of dating trends my way, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's fun. And I know a lot of things are

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<v Speaker 1>stuff we've been doing forever, and they get new labels

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<v Speaker 1>and all these things, but I'm usually on board. This

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<v Speaker 1>is one that, at least on its surface, Robes, it's ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, what's so interesting about this particular dating trend, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>is that it is what There have been headlines, but

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<v Speaker 2>they've all had asterisks to them, which I think is

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<v Speaker 2>pretty interesting. Okay, it sounds superficial, af and awful, and

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<v Speaker 2>that's why we were both rolling our eyes were going

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<v Speaker 2>into this. But the asterisk is that this could actually

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<v Speaker 2>be a cry for help.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, there it is, So you're saying that there. Before

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<v Speaker 1>we are dismissive of it, we need to recognize that

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<v Speaker 1>there might be something going on.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, there's a deeper issue that this this thing we

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<v Speaker 2>need to explain called the forting trend, and you might

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<v Speaker 2>be like, are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 3>This is insane. I'm not here for this. And yet

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<v Speaker 3>if you actually take a.

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<v Speaker 2>Look at why maybe this is becoming a thing on TikTok,

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<v Speaker 2>which it is, you might be able to say, ah, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you're trying to repair something.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wait, okay, you got to help me here, then

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<v Speaker 1>please do tell, do tell.

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<v Speaker 2>The four six is dating trends and women, right, women? Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess it could be men too, gay men, But

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<v Speaker 2>this is a dating trend for people who are into guys. So,

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<v Speaker 2>whoever you are, you like men, this is a dating

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<v Speaker 2>trend that might be something you've seen.

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<v Speaker 1>It's okay to speak in general terms that this is

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<v Speaker 1>about women talking about men.

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<v Speaker 3>Or gay men talking about gay men. Okay, but yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's okay, or we're.

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<v Speaker 1>Talking about women here talking about dudes and the yes.

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<v Speaker 3>Had you heard of the four six?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course?

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<v Speaker 3>By the way, okay, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Told me about this earlier today, and I still don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what we're talking.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so I did not hear about this either, But

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<v Speaker 2>that just might be the fact that I'm in a

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<v Speaker 2>loving relationship and I'm of a certain age. But Apparently

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<v Speaker 2>this is a thing on TikTok the four sixes hashtag. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>six feet, six figures, six pack, and six inches, that's

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<v Speaker 2>what people say.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but is there a hashtag it just says six

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<v Speaker 1>Is there a thing? Is it a dating trend called

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<v Speaker 1>the four sixes?

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<v Speaker 3>The four sixes?

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<v Speaker 1>Sixes? All right? Six Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>I went through six feet, six figures, six pack and

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<v Speaker 2>six inches. If you want me to break it down,

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<v Speaker 2>I will tell you it's six feet tall, yep or

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<v Speaker 2>more yep. You got to earn a six figure salary,

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<v Speaker 2>you got to have a six pack, app and you

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<v Speaker 2>gotta be six inches.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so speaking, so all right, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, okay, before you say the next thing, can I

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<v Speaker 1>ask is that a reasonable expectation?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's not.

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<v Speaker 3>Look I mean that that.

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<v Speaker 2>So what people are saying is this is what fairy

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<v Speaker 2>tales are made of. This is the Disney prince that

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<v Speaker 2>every girl dreams of the hot guy who's tall, who

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<v Speaker 2>has a six pack, who is rich, who is sexually satisfying.

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<v Speaker 2>He exists, and that's what I want and that's what

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<v Speaker 2>I deserve, and that's what this is based off of.

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<v Speaker 2>This superficial Why superficial baby, why not a physical attributes?

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<v Speaker 2>Are we're talking about anything with personality? You're not talking

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<v Speaker 2>about morality, you're not talking about okay, I'm sorry you

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<v Speaker 2>got connectivity.

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<v Speaker 3>Or any that.

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<v Speaker 2>You're just talking about physical attributes, including your bank account.

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<v Speaker 3>That is what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>So the question is is this something that is solely

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<v Speaker 2>based on having high standards or here is the big

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<v Speaker 2>aha that I was referencing. Is it about avoiding intimacy?

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<v Speaker 2>Would be a coping mechanism. Okay, So the point being,

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<v Speaker 2>dating experts are saying, hey, they're all seeing this trend

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<v Speaker 2>on TikTok Okay. So people are trying to unpack it,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're saying, Okay, after repeated disappointment for women who

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<v Speaker 2>have just had like failure after failure, I see.

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<v Speaker 1>Where we're going. I see where we might be going.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, some women might become more rigid and have higher

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<v Speaker 2>expectations as a form of self protection.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>A stamp is so heavy.

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<v Speaker 3>Isn't it interesting?

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<v Speaker 2>So yes, to have very specific physical requirements of somebody,

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<v Speaker 2>it's easier to control what happens rather than being vulnerable

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<v Speaker 2>and resk being rejected. So here are my standards, and

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<v Speaker 2>they're so insane that if someone doesn't meet them, I

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<v Speaker 2>can just point to that as the reason why it's

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<v Speaker 2>not working versus me actually getting rejected, being vulnerable having something.

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<v Speaker 3>Not work out. Does that make sense now? Isn't that fascinating?

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<v Speaker 1>It is so fascinating robes to set a standard so

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<v Speaker 1>high it can never be met, so therefore it can't

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<v Speaker 1>be meant.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you come around with us, Dawn? I would bring

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<v Speaker 3>you this dating trend?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I would never have just brought.

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<v Speaker 2>You a superficial dating trend that had no that didn't

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<v Speaker 2>have legs. And this, actually, to me, might be an

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<v Speaker 2>interesting jumping off point to a lot of what we

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<v Speaker 2>don't understand about the world or this generation or other

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<v Speaker 2>people who don't think like us. Much of what I

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<v Speaker 2>think we don't get that we might throw judgment at

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<v Speaker 2>actually is based in insecurity. So you set a standard

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<v Speaker 2>so high, but it looks like you're being an asshole.

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<v Speaker 2>It looks like you're being like, yeah, I deserve better, YadA.

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<v Speaker 3>YadA, YadA.

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<v Speaker 2>The reality is you don't think you can get what

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<v Speaker 2>you need, so you create this expectation and then say, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>he didn't meet it, and then you're not the problem

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<v Speaker 2>they are.

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<v Speaker 1>But we never rolled the Aren't there people out there

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<v Speaker 1>preaching just that thing that you should not compromise, that

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<v Speaker 1>you shouldn't lower a standard?

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Isn't that what we are preaching these days, and certainly

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<v Speaker 1>on social media, we're preaching this to our to young

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<v Speaker 1>people these days. So how do you combat this? I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't you said this to me. I had an idea

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<v Speaker 1>of what we were talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>I set you up for it a little bit, but

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't tell you what the I didn't know that.

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<v Speaker 3>What the through line was, what.

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<v Speaker 2>The lesson was in all of this, and it goes

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<v Speaker 2>beyond what the what the obvious would be like. So

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<v Speaker 2>people are getting upset. People who are looking at this

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<v Speaker 2>just in a black and white scenario. How dare you?

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<v Speaker 2>How dare you have this? Four to six is dating trend?

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<v Speaker 2>Like people are offended. Some people are offended that you

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<v Speaker 2>would actually have height and income requirements? Does that offend

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<v Speaker 2>you if a girl sets out on her dating journey

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<v Speaker 2>and has a height and an income requirement before she

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<v Speaker 2>decides whether or not she's going to pursue or continue

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<v Speaker 2>no relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>No, this is the thing. It's all about how you

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<v Speaker 1>go about pursuing it. It's because at the end of really, robes,

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<v Speaker 1>all women have a height and an income requirement. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't put it down on paper and you don't say

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't put it out on social media. That

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<v Speaker 1>makes you look like an absolute asshole except.

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<v Speaker 3>For that now.

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<v Speaker 1>But no, no, no, no, but no, But robes people have

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<v Speaker 1>just in the terms of what you're attracted to, you

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<v Speaker 1>end up naturally attracted to a guy who happens to

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<v Speaker 1>be a certain height, of a certain race, of a

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<v Speaker 1>certain thickness of his hair, who is in a certain profession,

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<v Speaker 1>who is able to have health care benefits. Right, So

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<v Speaker 1>it kind of you kind of go that way without

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<v Speaker 1>setting this standard when you stop putting, when you start

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<v Speaker 1>putting stuff on paper and having a certain height requirement,

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<v Speaker 1>that just makes that just comes off in a in

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<v Speaker 1>a crappy way and almost as.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're eliminating people who might be actually really amazing partners.

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<v Speaker 1>But a lot of women don't do that without being

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<v Speaker 1>a jerk about it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm saying they don't verbalize it, but they think standards.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody has a standard, of course, robes. But when you

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<v Speaker 1>go about this and you promote this The problem here,

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<v Speaker 1>or the danger here, is that you're actually putting this

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<v Speaker 1>in other people's heads and other women's heads, that you

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<v Speaker 1>have to do this, that this is what is required,

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<v Speaker 1>that this is what somebody else is doing that you

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<v Speaker 1>don't deserve, right, I don't like the lesson that's being Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>Can you flip it?

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<v Speaker 2>Can you imagine if men put a high requirement on

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<v Speaker 2>women or like other I don't know, Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>this is you got to have a You've got to

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<v Speaker 2>have a cup size, right, that would be what the

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<v Speaker 2>equivalent would be. You've got to have at least a

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<v Speaker 2>sea cup or larger. You have to have a way

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<v Speaker 2>size of this. You have to have a height of this,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to have a whatever. Like if you reversed it,

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<v Speaker 2>it would be like them are fighting words.

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<v Speaker 3>But if women do it.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's what some people are saying, Hey, this is

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<v Speaker 2>not okay that you are judging men's bodies so publicly,

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<v Speaker 2>And then others are saying, yeah, welcome to what women

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<v Speaker 2>have been subjected to since the beginning of time.

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<v Speaker 3>We have been objectified based on how.

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<v Speaker 2>We look, not what we offer as a companion, not

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<v Speaker 2>what we offer as a mother, a wife, or any

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<v Speaker 2>of the other. But it's just been solely physical attributes.

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<v Speaker 2>So welcome to what we've been subjected to forever.

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<v Speaker 1>You know how I am about comparative suffering. So nobody's

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<v Speaker 1>going to be no, so nobody. So who's going to

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<v Speaker 1>be the adult in the room to set a new standard?

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<v Speaker 1>This is the standard. So this is what we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to teach our daughters. Any any woman listening right now,

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<v Speaker 1>if you have a kid, if you don't have a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>any young mother or hope to be a mother, you

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<v Speaker 1>really want to tell me this is what you want

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<v Speaker 1>to teach you a child, your daughter. Okay, so let's

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<v Speaker 1>just keep it at that.

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<v Speaker 3>Someone put it like this.

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<v Speaker 2>How about this? Okay, so this is going viral right

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<v Speaker 2>now on TikTok. So whether we knew it or we

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<v Speaker 2>were aware of it or not, our kids probably are.

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<v Speaker 2>But someone put it like this, because this ain't going viral.

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<v Speaker 2>I want someone I'm attracted to who is kind, emotionally available, consistent,

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<v Speaker 2>and looking for the same kind of relationship. That isn't viral,

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<v Speaker 2>that isn't sexy, that isn't something that people click on,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a hashtag, But that is actually what we

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<v Speaker 2>should all be encouraging one another to look for that

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<v Speaker 2>was a.

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<v Speaker 1>Quote you just rich. Yes, okay, yes, that's why we

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<v Speaker 1>lost jobs. Well, I have moments where I get just

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<v Speaker 1>it's stings, man, it's stings. It sucks. The truth is

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<v Speaker 1>you and I were best friends. It turned into a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful friendship, turned into a beautiful love in a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't sell. Nope, right, And that's the truth, and

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<v Speaker 1>it sucks. I'm sorry, but that happened to us, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's the reality of the matter. But it doesn't work.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta have a scandal, you gotta have salacious, you

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<v Speaker 1>gotta have all the shit.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>So here we go. Here we go again, ropes.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's what people are.

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<v Speaker 2>People are looking for what we have. But you need

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<v Speaker 2>to have this thing, this this collective hashtag where people

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<v Speaker 2>are like, yeah, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna do that,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's gonna make it okay. But look, here's the deal.

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 2>This is fascinating with this new trend. This I'm gonna

0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:28.600
<v Speaker 2>say it again.

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 3>The four to.

0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Six is dating trend. Would you imagine? I'm sure you

0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:38.599
<v Speaker 2>can get your head around this. How a I Artificial

0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 2>intelligence has played a role in this trend, and we

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:47.920
<v Speaker 2>have some experts advice, which you might imagine might not be.

0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:52.080
<v Speaker 3>In favor of this new dating trend.

0:12:52.360 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 2>You have people this is fantasy not reality. Welcome back,

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.600
<v Speaker 2>everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. We're talking

0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:12.120
<v Speaker 2>about this four six's dating trend. Maybe you're cooler than

0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:13.800
<v Speaker 2>we are. You've already heard of it.

0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:14.720
<v Speaker 3>You get it.

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:19.240
<v Speaker 2>It's six feet six figures, six pack and six inches.

0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.560
<v Speaker 2>This is what a lot of ladies are going online

0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>saying that's what they're looking for in a relationship. And look,

0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 2>as you might imagine, there are a lot of opinions

0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:33.520
<v Speaker 2>about this new trend, and some people point to the

0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:38.079
<v Speaker 2>fact that this is fantasy versus intimacy. That's interesting. I

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:41.240
<v Speaker 2>would have thought this was fantasy versus reality. But no,

0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:48.720
<v Speaker 2>they're saying this actually equals to loneliness because some people

0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 2>might be looking to upgrade their lives. Yeah, with this

0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:55.160
<v Speaker 2>perfect man that they think exists that they're entitled to.

0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:59.480
<v Speaker 3>But like the reality is, if they say this is what.

0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:03.400
<v Speaker 2>They want and what they need and they're not getting it,

0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:08.439
<v Speaker 2>then there's some safety. I don't choose this because he

0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:13.280
<v Speaker 2>doesn't equal this. Therefore, I'm not going to go after

0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 2>this person, but therefore I'm safe from being hurt.

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:19.200
<v Speaker 3>But I'm lonely as hell.

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:23.360
<v Speaker 2>And that is what many and most dating experts say.

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:29.920
<v Speaker 2>This trend is leading to loneliness because no one is

0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:33.720
<v Speaker 2>going to a fit this bill, or very few people will.

0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.120
<v Speaker 3>And even if they do, what else do they have

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:37.600
<v Speaker 3>to offer?

0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, say you get all of those physical attributes, you

0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:47.400
<v Speaker 2>don't need anything else. Can you even apply this? This

0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.960
<v Speaker 2>is what women? This is about men, But flip it

0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.640
<v Speaker 2>and imagine men requiring this of women. First of all,

0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 2>the outrage would be deafening, but what would you be

0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.520
<v Speaker 2>left with, Say you do get that woman who has

0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.440
<v Speaker 2>the I don't know what is a perfect woman?

0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:04.840
<v Speaker 3>What do they say? Thirty four.

0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Idea?

0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.080
<v Speaker 3>Twenty four thirty four? I don't even know what it is.

0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:09.600
<v Speaker 3>What do you.

0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.160
<v Speaker 2>That's very sweet, that's what?

0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:19.160
<v Speaker 1>But I just I know this. Maybe it's supposed to

0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.480
<v Speaker 1>be fun, it's supposed to be cute, and maybe it's

0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 1>just a social media thing, but it does spread, and

0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I always have concerns about us continuing to promote the

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.560
<v Speaker 1>idea that a relationship is one that you're only supposed

0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 1>to get something out of. You're not supposed to contribute to.

0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:44.920
<v Speaker 1>And that's the mindset I guess. It seems so often

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 1>in these conversations where it is a a relationship is

0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.640
<v Speaker 1>not one in which you're supposed to compromise anything of

0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.400
<v Speaker 1>what you are for the betterment of that relationship. It's

0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.200
<v Speaker 1>instead of what does that relationship bring to me me?

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.640
<v Speaker 1>How does it improve me? How does it improve my

0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:08.280
<v Speaker 1>status in some way? And that? And sure, I just disagree,

0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.800
<v Speaker 1>but some people can think that, yes, that's the way

0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:15.520
<v Speaker 1>of modern relationships these days. It's just it's it's tough,

0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.400
<v Speaker 1>and this trend you're talking about makes it tough, bab.

0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.640
<v Speaker 3>Is it listening to you?

0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I actually really got a sense about whether or not

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:28.440
<v Speaker 2>this could be overcorrection a sorts where women have felt

0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:32.880
<v Speaker 2>so unempowered for so many years that now they feel

0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 2>like they have the right to kind of just dictate

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.960
<v Speaker 2>who they want, what they want, what they expect from

0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:43.240
<v Speaker 2>their partner and if you don't like it, by see

0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:47.360
<v Speaker 2>you next. Do you think that do sense that that

0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:50.320
<v Speaker 2>possibly is happening right now?

0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:55.280
<v Speaker 1>We would never pretend to have studied those trends enough

0:16:55.280 --> 0:17:00.080
<v Speaker 1>to be an expert in that thing, but I do

0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:04.359
<v Speaker 1>we disagree that relationships are supposed to be partnerships in

0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:10.159
<v Speaker 1>which both you do have to sacrifice. Every relationship that

0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.639
<v Speaker 1>is successful and has done well required each of the

0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:18.360
<v Speaker 1>individuals to sacrifice, which sometimes means giving up something of

0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:21.600
<v Speaker 1>what you like, to who you were, or what you wanted.

0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.200
<v Speaker 1>That's okay, it's for the betterment of that relationship. Doesn't

0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:26.960
<v Speaker 1>you have to do with kids. It doesn't for the

0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:29.000
<v Speaker 1>sake of the kids, or no, for the sake of

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.520
<v Speaker 1>the improvement of this thing you claim to want to

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:34.000
<v Speaker 1>be in. It's not that complicated.

0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I do think that gets lost, and I do think

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.560
<v Speaker 2>that's a really important point because I do think as

0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:44.960
<v Speaker 2>exists in many situations in this world, when you have

0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:46.280
<v Speaker 2>someone or a.

0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:48.720
<v Speaker 3>Group of people who feel.

0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:51.760
<v Speaker 2>Like they have not been seen or heard, there tends

0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 2>to be oftentimes in overcorrection, and this could be one

0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:56.960
<v Speaker 2>of them. And I'm not Maybe I'm giving this more

0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.479
<v Speaker 2>weight than it deserves, but I thought it was interesting

0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:04.120
<v Speaker 2>the expert advice when they were confronted with this new

0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.920
<v Speaker 2>TikTok trend. They I thought this was really cool. They

0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:11.959
<v Speaker 2>wanted to caution younger folks especially, but people who are

0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:18.480
<v Speaker 2>getting into relationships do not confuse intense chemistry with compatibility.

0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:21.680
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, you might be really hot for somebody, and yeah,

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.760
<v Speaker 2>they might check all the boxes physically, that does not

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.840
<v Speaker 2>mean that you are going to have a compatible long

0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 2>term relationship. You might have hot sex one night, so

0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:36.119
<v Speaker 2>don't mistake somebody who's got the four to sixes with

0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:38.400
<v Speaker 2>somebody who you might want to spend your life with,

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:41.000
<v Speaker 2>or somebody who you might want to enter a relationship with.

0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:45.000
<v Speaker 2>And so they reiterated and Babe, this is good for us.

0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:50.800
<v Speaker 2>But studies continually show study after study after study that

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 2>relationships built on friendship have a significantly better chance at

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:02.639
<v Speaker 2>long term success. And I believe that we have lived it.

0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:06.880
<v Speaker 2>I have walked that walk, and it is kind of awesome.

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.840
<v Speaker 2>It's one of those moments just to remember, yes, you

0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.120
<v Speaker 2>can be hot for somebody, and yes somebody can look great,

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:17.520
<v Speaker 2>but at the end of the day, hotness for one

0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.160
<v Speaker 2>another chemistry does.

0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.080
<v Speaker 3>Not mean that you guys have the.

0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.159
<v Speaker 2>Have what it takes to be compatible, have what it

0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.640
<v Speaker 2>takes to have a relationship. And people get focused oftentimes

0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:33.639
<v Speaker 2>on the physicality and what they think they deserve or

0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:34.120
<v Speaker 2>what's going.

0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:35.320
<v Speaker 3>To make them hot. And that's great.

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.440
<v Speaker 2>Fine, you're young, you're hot, knock yourselves out. But they

0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.160
<v Speaker 2>actually go through the questions you need to ask yourself

0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.720
<v Speaker 2>about the person you're dating. And these questions, they say,

0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:49.240
<v Speaker 2>will tell you way more than whether or not somebody

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.520
<v Speaker 2>has a six pack or a six feet tall or

0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:54.160
<v Speaker 2>has all the other four sixes.

0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 1>What what's the trend again? I'm sorry? What the trend is? What?

0:19:57.760 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 3>So it's four sixes?

0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.840
<v Speaker 1>The for this is how you should date or the

0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:04.920
<v Speaker 1>trend of what women are doing now today.

0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:07.640
<v Speaker 3>It is the four to six's dating trend. For what

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:08.720
<v Speaker 3>you're looking for in a guy.

0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:14.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, six to be tall, six figure salary, six backags abs,

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:15.920
<v Speaker 2>excuse me, and six inches.

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:19.320
<v Speaker 1>That sounds great? Okay, I mean, but I'm saying if

0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:23.399
<v Speaker 1>every wanting listening, anybody listening thinks that's sounds good, and

0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:26.920
<v Speaker 1>that's what you find that is great, knock yourself out.

0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:30.320
<v Speaker 2>But just gonna give you these questions. If you've got

0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.880
<v Speaker 2>that guy, you've got that person you think, man.

0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:35.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm I'm living it up. I got the four sixes.

0:20:36.520 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 2>The experts in relationships tell you to ask yourself these questions.

0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.720
<v Speaker 2>Are they emotionally available? Do their words and actions match?

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Are they consistent or Are they always trying to decode?

0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:53.720
<v Speaker 2>Are you always trying to decode mixed signals? Do they

0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:57.959
<v Speaker 2>make room for your needs? Can they communicate honestly? Do

0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:01.639
<v Speaker 2>they respect your boundaries? Do they take responsibility when.

0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:02.119
<v Speaker 3>They hurt you?

0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 2>Are they interested in who you are? Do they want

0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:10.119
<v Speaker 2>the same kind of life? Bottom line? The big question

0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:14.080
<v Speaker 2>they said, do you feel like yourself around them? Or

0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.919
<v Speaker 2>do you feel like you're auditioning for love? And so

0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes women find this guy who they think

0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:22.399
<v Speaker 2>they want.

0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:25.080
<v Speaker 3>But I thought that was so interesting.

0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:29.120
<v Speaker 2>You're auditioning for love, You're trying to prove to them

0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:30.000
<v Speaker 2>that you're the.

0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:30.680
<v Speaker 3>One they want.

0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:36.240
<v Speaker 2>And the reality is the four sixes are not the

0:21:36.320 --> 0:21:39.560
<v Speaker 2>determining factor in who you want as a partner.

0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:41.360
<v Speaker 3>And so, yes, it's on TikTok.

0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Yes it sounds sexy on a headline or in whatever clickbait,

0:21:46.119 --> 0:21:49.040
<v Speaker 2>but the truth of the matter is, let's get real,

0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:53.400
<v Speaker 2>that's not what makes for a long term relationship.

0:21:53.880 --> 0:21:54.840
<v Speaker 3>You and I both know that.

0:21:57.720 --> 0:21:59.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, I hope I get the partner.

0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:03.399
<v Speaker 3>The same baby, same that.

0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Folks, we always appreciate you spending a little time with us.

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 1>From my dear every Robot com T. J. Holmes we'll

0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:10.480
<v Speaker 1>be talking to y'all soon.

0:22:11.720 --> 0:22:16.320
<v Speaker 2>M h m hm hm hm