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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.

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Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 3: Morning.

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Speaker 1: Everybody is thej Envy just hilarious. Charlamagne the guy. We

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Speaker 1: are the Breakfast Club. Law La Rosa is here as well,

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Speaker 1: and we got a special guest in the building. Ladies

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Speaker 1: and gentlemen, Meil Robbins.

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Speaker 3: Welcome.

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Speaker 2: Hey, it's good to see you. How you feeling warning,

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Speaker 2: I feel great? How are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Bless Black and Holly favorite. This is your first time

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Speaker 3: in this studio. You were here in twenty twenty one

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Speaker 3: when you had a high five theory. Yes, yes, but

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Speaker 3: now millions of books later, number one podcast in the

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Speaker 3: world right now that relation six year old woman, you know,

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Speaker 3: and it really feels like you've truly arrived. What do

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Speaker 3: you what do you think?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: The success? What's made all this new success happen?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know it's not new success. Like what you're

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Speaker 2: seeing is the result of fifteen years of just boring,

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Speaker 2: grueling daily reps. Like That's what nobody wants to understand,

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Speaker 2: is that you can be successful and achieve anything you want.

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Speaker 2: You just have to be patient. You have to get

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Speaker 2: up out of bed every single day and put one

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Speaker 2: foot in front of the other. You got to be

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Speaker 2: willing to do the things you don't feel like doing

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Speaker 2: in the dark when nobody's watching, and when you think

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Speaker 2: that it's not gonna happen for you. That is what

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Speaker 2: it's about. It's about just consistent, small moves, being patient.

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Speaker 2: I mean, there were so many times where I was

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Speaker 2: just like, am I ever gonna get out of it?

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Speaker 2: Is anyone ever gonna notice?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Am I ever gonna get invited to the breakfast club?

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Speaker 2: Like one of the like when is somebody gone to notice.

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Speaker 3: Your spot that you want it?

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Speaker 2: Well? No, but seriously, like you kind of sit there

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Speaker 2: because I mean every one of us have had those moments,

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Speaker 2: whether you're putting out music or you're starting a YouTube

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Speaker 2: channel or you started a business, and it's so easy

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Speaker 2: to look around at what everybody else is doing and

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Speaker 2: think that you're losing some race in life. The real

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Speaker 2: game is with yourself. Can you keep going? Can you

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Speaker 2: say to yourself? And this is kind of how I

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Speaker 2: would keep myself going in those moments. I would say,

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Speaker 2: fuse to believe that this is how the story ends.

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Speaker 2: I believe that at some point all of this work

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Speaker 2: is going to pay off. I don't have to know

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Speaker 2: how I have to believe that it will. And if

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Speaker 2: it hasn't yet, it's not meant to yet. There's some

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Speaker 2: lesson There's something I'm being held for that I don't

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Speaker 2: know what it is. But if I choose to believe

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Speaker 2: in this moment that things are going to get better,

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Speaker 2: that things are going to turn out for me, that

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Speaker 2: all this hard work is going to pay off, that

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Speaker 2: trying to be a better person is going to pay off,

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Speaker 2: at some point I will look back on my life

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Speaker 2: and say, oh, that's why it didn't happen. Then, Oh,

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Speaker 2: that's why it took longer. Oh that's why either you

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Speaker 2: weren't ready or God the universe was holding you for

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Speaker 2: a different moment. And so, you know, a lot of

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Speaker 2: people ask me, what is this moment about. I think

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Speaker 2: it's about fifteen years of ridiculously hard work becoming a

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Speaker 2: better person. I think it's about fifteen years of just

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Speaker 2: chipping away at getting out of debt and doing better

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Speaker 2: in my marriage, you in a better mother, and get

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Speaker 2: in control of my emotions and my mental health, chipping

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Speaker 2: away at building a business. And I truly believe that

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Speaker 2: I was being held for this moment like this, one

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Speaker 2: thousand percent is my legacy.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question. Mal you talk

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Speaker 1: about the reps yep for you it worked out and

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Speaker 1: successful and great. What about that person that is just

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Speaker 1: not good?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: That rap of that is not good? Like trying that

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Speaker 1: podcast person that is doing the podcast that is just

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Speaker 1: not good and everybody just stay good good to anybody?

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Speaker 2: Well I don't, I see, I don't believe that.

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Speaker 1: And but when do you stop because you're a sixty

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Speaker 1: year old rapper like you know I mean?

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Speaker 2: Or maybe why can there be a ninety one ninety

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Speaker 2: year old one? See? Maybe what the rapping is for

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Speaker 2: is maybe it's not about rapping. Maybe there is something

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Speaker 2: that you're doing when you are rapping and nobody's coming

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Speaker 2: that is teaching you a lesson about patients. Maybe what

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Speaker 2: it's doing is teaching you to believe in your when

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Speaker 2: nobody else does. And every time that you show up

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Speaker 2: and nobody's there, every time you post a video on

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Speaker 2: your YouTube channel that only your uncle and your son

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Speaker 2: are subscribed to, every time you post, you're basically saying,

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Speaker 2: you know what, screw the world, I believe in myself.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing this for myself. And maybe you're not gonna

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Speaker 2: be a rap.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the key that you said. I

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Speaker 1: think you know with the podcast explosion, everybody did a podcast.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's mama did a podcast, everybody's grandmama did a podcast.

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Speaker 1: But I think the reason that people have done it,

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Speaker 1: and I think people can see through it, is a

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Speaker 1: lot of people did it for financial Yes, they seen

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Speaker 1: the money that people were making and said I want

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Speaker 1: to jump on that train, or they seen the money

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Speaker 1: that rappers were making and I wanted to jump through

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Speaker 1: that train. So it doesn't matter if you're doing it

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Speaker 1: not for the right reason. I don't think it might

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Speaker 1: not never connect because your intentions aren't there.

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Speaker 2: But hold on a second. See, I actually believe everybody

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Speaker 2: has woven into your DNA this intelligent design and this

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Speaker 2: kind of energy that is either pulling you toward things

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Speaker 2: or repelling you from other things, that we are natural, energetic,

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Speaker 2: magnetic beings. And this isn't just some woo woo garbage

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Speaker 2: like there is hard science, not my science, but neuroscientists

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Speaker 2: that will tell you that everything is physics and energy.

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Speaker 2: Like the words if you're hearing us speaking right now,

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Speaker 2: what you are you're watching us? The words coming out

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Speaker 2: of my mouth are being translated through energy into your ears,

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Speaker 2: and so you are a being that is wired to

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Speaker 2: align with things that are meant for you and to

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Speaker 2: reject things that aren't. I mean, you know, like if

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Speaker 2: you walk in a room and you immediately connect with

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Speaker 2: somebody that's alignment. If you walk into a room, you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: let's give that person some spaith because you can read

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Speaker 2: the energy that's alignment. And so for me, when you

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Speaker 2: give the example of like the person who's rappers just terrible,

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Speaker 2: just tell there's lots of people out there doing stuff

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Speaker 2: they're just terrible. What I love is that they felt

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Speaker 2: called to do something. I don't care if they felt

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Speaker 2: called to do it because they want to make more money.

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Speaker 2: I mean, hell, I was working five six jobs back,

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Speaker 2: you know, fifteen years ago when we were eight hundred

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars in debt because I needed groceries on the table,

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Speaker 2: I needed gas in the tank. And so motivation to

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Speaker 2: be safe and to make money or because of your ambition,

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Speaker 2: that's a beautiful thing. But at some point you're gonna go,

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Speaker 2: I'm not that good at this, but I believe, and

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Speaker 2: this is what I think is super cool about life.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely every experience that you have in life is leading

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Speaker 2: you somewhere and teaching you something. And I'm gonna one

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Speaker 2: of the reasons why I share so much about what

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Speaker 2: I've learned and the mistakes that I've made. I'm like

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Speaker 2: the villain in every book, is because I'm stubborn, Like

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Speaker 2: it takes a sledgehammer from the universe for me to

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Speaker 2: wake the hell up and stop doing something like I

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Speaker 2: literally get so into my groove, whether it's drinking too

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Speaker 2: much or taking my stress out on my kids or

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Speaker 2: being a jealous, insecure friend that things have to backfire

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Speaker 2: for me to wake up and go, well, yes, I

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Speaker 2: better try something different.

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Speaker 3: So when you were in bed stuck at that lowest moment,

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Speaker 3: when you was in debt, what was that pivotal realization?

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Speaker 3: What was that sledge handle? Because I remember you saying

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Speaker 3: that you had the realization that nobody was coming to

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Speaker 3: save What did it feel like to face that truth.

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Speaker 2: It's very similar to that moment that you told me

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Speaker 2: about with the steel toilet. See, you're one decision away

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Speaker 2: from a different life, and you can make that decision

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Speaker 2: any moment, any day, like you could make a decision

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Speaker 2: today that changes the trajectory of your life, because a

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Speaker 2: decision turns you in a different direction. Anybody that has

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Speaker 2: gotten sober, anybody that's quit a job, anybody that's left

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Speaker 2: a relationship or moved. You know what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 2: That there is a decision and typically I don't know

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Speaker 2: how it works for you, But for me, I have

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Speaker 2: to get so sick of where I am that I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm done, like enough of this smell. And for me,

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Speaker 2: that moment, you know, was two thousand and eight. We

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Speaker 2: were eight hundred thousand dollars in debt, I was unemployed,

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Speaker 2: my husband's restaurant business was going under. Three kids under

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Speaker 2: the age of ten, and I was drinking myself into

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Speaker 2: the ground. I couldn't get out of bed. And I

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Speaker 2: think that what's interesting about life is even in moments

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Speaker 2: where you're struggling, you kind of know the things you

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Speaker 2: could do right. You kind of know when you're not

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Speaker 2: like doing things to help yourself, you kind of know,

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Speaker 2: Like I knew you should get out of bed, I

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Speaker 2: knew I should stop drinking. I knew I should look

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Speaker 2: for a job. Wasn't doing any of it because I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel like it. I had lost hope I was

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Speaker 2: kind of in this mode. And this is what I

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Speaker 2: also believe you and I talked about this when you

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Speaker 2: know you were on my podcast that I think the

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Speaker 2: single biggest thing in people's way, it's not a lack

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Speaker 2: of skills, it's discouragement. If you don't believe that the

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Speaker 2: simple things are going to work for you, you're not

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Speaker 2: going to do it. And that's where I was. I

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Speaker 2: was like, why even bother getting out of bed? I'm

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Speaker 2: about to lose this house and my marriage and my sanity,

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Speaker 2: everything I care about. Why why bother? And you know

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Speaker 2: my moment the decision was. I saw this rocket ship

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Speaker 2: one night when I was drunk on bourbon, and it

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Speaker 2: gave me this idea that maybe maybe I should launch

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Speaker 2: myself out of bed. Maybe if I moved fast enough

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Speaker 2: in the morning, I wouldn't be in the bed when

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Speaker 2: the depression and the anxiety hit. And so the next

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Speaker 2: morning it was a it was a Tuesday morning in

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Speaker 2: February two thousand and eight. The alarm went off, and

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Speaker 2: I remembered that stupid rocket launch idea, and for whatever reason,

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Speaker 2: I just started counting backwards like Nasada's five four, three

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Speaker 2: two one, And then I got out of bed, and

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Speaker 2: that was the beginning of a completely new life because

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Speaker 2: it was like that first domino that tips, and it

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Speaker 2: gave me this thought, oh wait a minute, I can

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Speaker 2: actually make myself do things that I don't feel like doing. Huh.

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Speaker 2: And you know, the truth is when people ask me, okay,

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Speaker 2: you're having a moment, that was what it wear. The

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Speaker 2: math is like what fifteen years ago, sixteen years ago?

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Speaker 2: It took me sixteen years from that moment to get

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Speaker 2: to where you are now. It took me sixteen years

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Speaker 2: of pushing my ass out of bed every day. It

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Speaker 2: took me sixteen years of taking a breath and not

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Speaker 2: screaming at my kids. It took me sixteen years of

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Speaker 2: showing up and doing things when nobody was paying attention

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Speaker 2: and learning, you know, from every little thing, and sixteen

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Speaker 2: years of saying, one of these days, all this hard

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Speaker 2: work is going to pay off. One of these days,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing.

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Speaker 2: One of these days, I'm going to like help people

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Speaker 2: that are struggling and that felt as bad as I did,

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Speaker 2: know that they're not alone. One of these days I'm

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Speaker 2: going to actually like myself instead of constantly hating myself

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Speaker 2: and trashing myself for all the things I think I

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Speaker 2: did wrong.

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Speaker 3: You know, in Charch we call that a testimony, So

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Speaker 3: it was like God put you through all of those

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Speaker 3: trials and you would have a testimony for this moment.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and the true skill other than like, I think

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Speaker 2: there's two incredible skills that I developed during this period

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Speaker 2: of my life. The first one is teaching myself that

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Speaker 2: if you just do the things you don't want to do,

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Speaker 2: you will have everything you ever wanted. I'm gonna say

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Speaker 2: that again, if you just do the things you do

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Speaker 2: not want to do, you will have everything you have

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Speaker 2: ever wanted.

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Speaker 3: Expound on that well, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, think about it, like, if you want to make

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Speaker 2: a million dollars, here's my recommendation. Go to chat GTP

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Speaker 2: and type in how do I make a million dollars

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Speaker 2: in the next two years? Give me a day by

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Speaker 2: day plan that I can execute in fifteen minutes, and

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Speaker 2: it will probably teach you step by step how to

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Speaker 2: launch a business online and get into affiliate marketing. And

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Speaker 2: if you actually do those things, you will have a

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Speaker 2: million dollars in the bank. There are formulas for everything

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Speaker 2: you want in life. To lose weight, to find love,

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Speaker 2: to heal your formulas everywhere far love.

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Speaker 1: Oh, of course, Lauren, you try that one.

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Speaker 3: That ain't gonna work.

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Speaker 2: For you, Lauren, I'm good, Yes it is. Do not

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Speaker 2: put discourag.

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Speaker 4: I don't even engage in conversation with neg I just

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Speaker 4: let them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: I want to go back to something that you just said,

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Speaker 3: because it's true. Right, somebody out there listening to you

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Speaker 3: and they was like, that ain't gonna work, And that's

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Speaker 3: exactly why you're not gonna.

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Speaker 2: Get it correct. Of course, that's exactly why you're correct.

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Speaker 2: And so here's the other thing I want to tell you.

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Speaker 2: That really is a skill that really helped me. So

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Speaker 2: if you look backwards at your life, you can see

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Speaker 2: every twist and turn and every experience, even the ones

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Speaker 2: you didn't deserve, even the ones that were not your fault.

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Speaker 2: You can look in the rear view mirror and actually

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Speaker 2: see how it all led you here, and that there

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Speaker 2: were lessons or things that led you here. The skill

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Speaker 2: that I want you to understand that you also have

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Speaker 2: is that you could actually stand in this moment, no

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Speaker 2: matter how horrible it is, and you can say I

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Speaker 2: choose to believe that in the future, I am going

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Speaker 2: to get a point where there is a bigger possibility

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Speaker 2: for myself in my life that I can't even imagine

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Speaker 2: for myself right now. But I choose to believe that

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Speaker 2: I will get to that point fifteen years from now,

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Speaker 2: ten years from now, and I will look back on

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Speaker 2: this low moment where I didn't believe and I will

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Speaker 2: go that's why, that's why that happened.

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Speaker 4: Do you believe that? So you believe that every single

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Speaker 4: person has that in them or not has it in them?

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Speaker 4: Because I believe that. But do you believe that every

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Speaker 4: single person at some point in their life will unlock that?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: Okay, because for me when I am reading through this,

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Speaker 4: a lot of what you're saying is common sense stuff.

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Speaker 4: But I think even when you think about if you

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Speaker 4: have a friend group and there's two people who are

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Speaker 4: really successful and two people that aren't, the difference is

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Speaker 4: just what they choose to actually do this book, If

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Speaker 4: I'm a person at choosing not to do that, how

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Speaker 4: does your book stop that? Like that's a habit, that's a.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a great question. So there's two things about that.

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Speaker 2: So if you're in a friend group and you got

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Speaker 2: two people who are successful and two people aren't. One

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Speaker 2: thing I do want to validate because I do think

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Speaker 2: in like kind of in culture, there's this myth that

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Speaker 2: everybody's got the same resources. Not everybody has the same resources.

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Speaker 2: So you might be in a friend group where there's

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Speaker 2: two people that ended up not having college debt, so

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Speaker 2: they started at a different starting line, and so there

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Speaker 2: might be things that are actually real things that contributed

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Speaker 2: to somebody's success. Though, is a huge piece of it,

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Speaker 2: because I do believe, especially in today's world, with technology

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Speaker 2: and with the amount of information out there, that if

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Speaker 2: you commit yourself to learning new skills and to just

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Speaker 2: chipping away at it and continuing to show up, there

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Speaker 2: are so many people on this planet, there is enough

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Speaker 2: success for you, and you can figure it out over

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Speaker 2: time if you keep chipping away at it. And so

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Speaker 2: you know, the question is what's in it? In this book?

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Speaker 2: The let them theory is going to help you because

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Speaker 2: if you're tired, if you're overwhelmed, if you're feeling like

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Speaker 2: you keep trying and nothing is clicking, the problem isn't you.

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Speaker 2: The problem is you unknowingly give all of your power

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Speaker 2: to other people. You give power to what people say,

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Speaker 2: how they feel, their expectations, what they're doing, and when

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Speaker 2: you care more about what other people think, and when

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Speaker 2: you are navigating life based on what other people's expectations

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Speaker 2: are from you look first line. There you go.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that's the biggest thing that for me with this book.

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Speaker 4: I was like mom saying that when it's in a book,

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Speaker 4: I listen, let.

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Speaker 3: Them think bad thoughts. Oh, I want to just set

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Speaker 3: it up about the book.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 3: There's some books that I believe are must reads in life.

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Speaker 3: To let them Theory by Mel Robbins has been added

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Speaker 3: to that must read less. My wife got it for

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Speaker 3: me a few weeks ago, and the book is just

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Speaker 3: essentially about how you have to stop wasting your life

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Speaker 3: on things that you can't control.

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Speaker 2: When did you get to that rebels, Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: fifty four. I am a learner, you know. And the

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Speaker 2: funny thing is is I'm married to the chillist dude

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Speaker 2: on the plan. I mean, I'm married to a man

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Speaker 2: who is not only Buddhist, he is a death duela.

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Speaker 2: And like when you want to talk about like a person,

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Speaker 2: yeah that can just sit in stillness. I'm like a

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Speaker 2: tornado of emotion. And so I've always wanted to let

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Speaker 2: things go. I've always wanted to not care what people think.

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Speaker 2: I've never known how. And see, when you're stressed, or

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Speaker 2: you're easily offended like I used to be, or you

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Speaker 2: have a lot going on, it is very hard to

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Speaker 2: not get wrapped up and what other people are thinking

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Speaker 2: and doing. It's very hard to not let what your

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Speaker 2: kids are going through stress you out. And so you know,

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Speaker 2: I've been trying to do this forever. I mean, this

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Speaker 2: is not a new idea. The serenity prayer is the

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Speaker 2: let Them theory. In fact, you know, I sat down

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Speaker 2: with doctor Martin Luther King the third and his wife

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Speaker 2: and Andrea, and they both said, we write about it

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Speaker 2: in the let Them Theory. They both reflect on the

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Speaker 2: fact that this concept that you have to give up

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Speaker 2: control in order to gain control, that your power is

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Speaker 2: in your response, that this is part of doctor Martin

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Speaker 2: Luther King Junior's legacy because your response is what dictates

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Speaker 2: who you are. It's not what's happening out there, it's

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Speaker 2: how you respond to it with your thoughts and your

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Speaker 2: actions and how you process your own emotions. And so

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Speaker 2: I did not know this until I was fifty four

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Speaker 2: years old. And you know for me personally the power

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Speaker 2: of these two words, because let them We've all said

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Speaker 2: let them in our lives a bazillion times. I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's a sermon's circulating. It's twenty years old, Dad Jakes

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Speaker 2: doing this let them sermon. So this is a concept

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Speaker 2: that has been around since the beginning of time, and

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Speaker 2: that's why this is resonated. I'm not teaching you something new.

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Speaker 2: I'm reminding you of what you already know to be true,

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Speaker 2: and I'm handing you this tool so you can snap

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Speaker 2: out of this crap where we're constantly worked up about

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Speaker 2: what other people are doing to take her power back.

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Speaker 4: You talk about managing other people a lot, and I've

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Speaker 4: never heard the term put like that, but you use

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Speaker 4: it to basically talk about how we're so what you're

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Speaker 4: talking about r now, we're worried about other people, but

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Speaker 4: also too, I think it's expectations of other people that

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Speaker 4: we're trying to we're making decisions based around that a lot.

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Speaker 4: When did you realize this whole scale of like managing

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Speaker 4: other people and learning when the clock out of that

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Speaker 4: job of trying to do that well?

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Speaker 2: So what it's going to happen is this. So when

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Speaker 2: you start using the let them theory, and it's so

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Speaker 2: easy to use the next time you're stressed out or

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Speaker 2: annoyed or frustrated, and it's always with other people, just

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Speaker 2: say let them. That's how you use it. Let them,

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Speaker 2: and you're gonna immediately feel peaceful. Your mom's in a

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Speaker 2: bad mood, Let her be in a bad mood. Some

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Speaker 2: old friend of yours is talking, Let them talk trash.

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Speaker 2: Why you're not allowing it? When you say let them,

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Speaker 2: you are reminding yourself there's one thing in life I

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Speaker 2: can't control. It's what other people say, do, believe, feel,

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Speaker 2: and it's my job to So when you start saying

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Speaker 2: let them, and you detach yourself from the responsibility of

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Speaker 2: having to manage somebody else, something interesting happens. You realize,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I've lived my life in reserve reverse.

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Speaker 2: I actually live my life giving time and energy trying

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Speaker 2: to manage what other people think. I have kept myself

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Speaker 2: in a major or in a relationship, or in a

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Speaker 2: situation because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my friends.

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Speaker 2: I mean, how many people keep drinking or keep going

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Speaker 2: out at night when what they really want to do

401
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Speaker 2: is launch a business, And so they don't like take

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Speaker 2: the weekends to work on the things that they want

403
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 2: to work on because they feel like they don't want

404
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Speaker 2: to disappoint their friends or people going to talk about them.

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Speaker 2: That's you giving power to other people. Like another way

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Speaker 2: that we give power to other people is we, you know,

407
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Speaker 2: get so focused on the headlines that we gaslight ourselves

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Speaker 2: into believing that you have no power. It's complete garbage.

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Speaker 2: Of course you have power.

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Speaker 1: I wish you would have a couple of weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: We'll continue on.

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Speaker 2: And so when you start saying let them, it's sort

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Speaker 2: of this revelation where you're like, oh my god, I

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Speaker 2: spend so much time and energy worrying about other people.

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Speaker 2: I spent so much time and energy letting them stress

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Speaker 2: me out.

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Speaker 4: But is there a level of like when that becomes

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Speaker 4: easier versus harder? Because when you were just talking, I

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Speaker 4: thought about Michelle Obama. In the podcast one of the

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Speaker 4: podcasts she did this week, she was talking about how

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Speaker 4: she realized she was doing a lot for other people

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Speaker 4: not thinking about herself, and she started making decisions for herself.

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Speaker 4: So she's going place so she wants to go and

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Speaker 4: do things like that, and they think she's divorce because

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Speaker 4: of it. But it's like, she's Michelle Obama, so it's

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Speaker 4: hard for her to like the noise is so it's

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Speaker 4: a lot louder for her well.

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Speaker 2: Of course. But whether or not you pay attention to

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Speaker 2: that is within your control. Whether or not you look

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Speaker 2: at your phone, and we're all guilty of it, whether

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Speaker 2: you are Michelle Obama or you're just going into your

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Speaker 2: middle school, whether or not you give attention to the gossip,

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Speaker 2: you look for, the gossip, you mainline it, that is

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Speaker 2: within your control. If you say, I can never, ever, ever,

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Speaker 2: ever stop somebody from lying about me, from making up

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Speaker 2: stuff about me, from saying whatever they're going to say,

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Speaker 2: So why on earth what I spend any time and

438
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 2: energy managing it? And then you go let me This

439
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 2: is the second part of the theory. Once you say

440
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,719
Speaker 2: let them, let them think negative thoughts, let them make

441
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 2: up all kinds of crap, Because if you know you're

442
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,719
Speaker 2: not getting divorced, what do you care about these idiots

443
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 2: saying let me remind myself that I know the truth.

444
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,640
Speaker 2: And when you know the truth about who you are,

445
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 2: you don't think about other people. When you live your

446
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 2: life in a way that makes you proud, you don't

447
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 2: think about other people.

448
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:01,959
Speaker 3: I tell them all.

449
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 4: You told me to read your book, and I was,

450
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 4: and I already had the book because I think Eddie

451
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 4: had given it to us a minute and I was like, oh,

452
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 4: I got the book, and for.

453
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 2: You got it. It will change your Damn. I'm telling

454
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 2: you it will change your life because.

455
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 1: But you have to get to that stage, yes, because

456
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: it's it took me a while to get to that stage.

457
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 1: It took a while that.

458
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 4: You think he was born that way, and.

459
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 3: So I've never truly cared, right, But then even when

460
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 3: I started to care, I realized things like the serenity prayer,

461
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 3: a little simple things that you saw sitting in your

462
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 3: grandmother's house. You realize that is absolutely the true of God, Grammy,

463
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: the serenity. Excepting things I cannot change, courage change the

464
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 3: things I can, and wasn't no difference. And the easiest

465
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 3: way to let go of what you can't control is

466
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: just realizing you never had control to begin with.

467
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: And here's another thing that's really important. That's why you're

468
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 2: gonna love it, is that what ol stirt to happen.

469
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 2: When you say let them, is it's not that you're

470
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 2: allowing people to do bad things. They're already doing bad things.

471
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 2: You're recognizing that it's not your job to manage other people,

472
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: because this is a book that's about power and control

473
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 2: and peace. Then you say, let me remind myself how

474
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: I respond to things. Actually is where my power is.

475
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 2: So do I give this any time and energy or not?

476
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: Do I double down on just living my life in

477
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: a way that makes me proud of myself, which is

478
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 2: where your power is. And the thing that also changed

479
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 2: me dramatically is I couldn't believe how much stress I

480
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 2: felt and how I was bracing all the time. And

481
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 2: when you start to say let them, and you release

482
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 2: that kind of obligation to make other people happy or

483
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: to make everybody know that you're not divorced, or that

484
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 2: everything's okay, or like, just let them think whatever they

485
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,120
Speaker 2: want to think and live your life in a way

486
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: that makes you proud. You're going to get all this

487
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 2: time and energy back. And what I love about this

488
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 2: is when you're less stressed and when you're not bracing

489
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: all the time because you know your boss is narcissistic.

490
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 2: So why on earth would you walk into work assuming

491
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 2: that today's going to be anything other than what it

492
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: already has always been. Let them be who they are.

493
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 3: I love the Managing Stress chapter, and in that chapter

494
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 3: you say you can't control how other adults behave and

495
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 3: stressing about it diminishes your power. You'll never reach the

496
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 3: full potential of your life if you continue to allow

497
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 3: stupid things to rule, people to drain your life for

498
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 3: can you yes?

499
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 2: Yes, So the two most important resources that you have

500
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,719
Speaker 2: in life time energy, That's what you got. How you

501
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 2: spend your time, where you put your energy, it actually

502
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 2: determines your experience of life. And that's why I say,

503
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: if you have this experience right now where you're exhausted

504
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 2: and overwhelmed and nervous and you're not like feeling like

505
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 2: you can ever have time for yourself or your goals,

506
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 2: just start clicking. You're not the problem. The problem is

507
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: all this time and energy you spend dealing with other people,

508
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: and so let them is a boundary that you draw

509
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: where you start to recognize, Okay, I'm going to let

510
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 2: other people think and feel and do and have their opinions,

511
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 2: and I'm going to let them be disappointed. I'm going

512
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: to let them misunderstand me, and I'm going to let

513
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: me really take that time and energy back and pour

514
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 2: it into working on myself and staying in my piece.

515
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: And what I've found is that when I'm less stressed,

516
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: which i am because I'm not allowing stupid stuff for

517
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 2: other people to stress me out, I'm actually a better person.

518
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: I make more money because I can use my brain

519
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 2: instead of being in fire or flight. I don't like

520
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 2: vomit on my kids, my emotions. Like I used to

521
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 2: be the kind of person that would come in at

522
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 2: you know, after work and be yelling at everybody or

523
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 2: mad at the dog for crying out loud, and then

524
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm sorry, it's a bad day at work,

525
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: stressful day at work with the dogs. You know, they

526
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 2: kind of do this and then they come back and

527
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 2: they're really nice because they they literally dogs don't like

528
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 2: punish you for that. And it's so sad that I

529
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 2: used to leave the worst of me the people I

530
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 2: cared about the most and then blame it on the

531
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,439
Speaker 2: stress of the day. That By the way, when you

532
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 2: use the let them theory, you have control over whether

533
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 2: or not. This stuff gets to you.

534
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 3: You know.

535
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 2: It's funny. I walked into a hotel t heere and

536
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 2: everybody that was at the check in descer like, let them,

537
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 2: we love this. I'm like, well, if you work retail,

538
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 2: which I have in my life, if you work in

539
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 2: a restaurant or hospitality having to deal with people, you

540
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 2: gotta let them. You gotta let them, Like, do not

541
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 2: let somebody's rudeness actually get to your spirit? Protect it

542
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 2: because your time and energy matters, and it's important. And

543
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 2: this is these are two boundaries. Let them be, because

544
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 2: the more I let other people be who they are,

545
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 2: the better my life gets. The more I let other

546
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 2: people live their lives, better my life gets because I

547
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 2: am protecting myself from unnecessary stress and drama, and I'm

548
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 2: reminding myself powers always in here. And that's you know.

549
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 2: You asked me earlier, do I really believe that actually

550
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 2: everybody has in them a unique path and gift? And

551
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 2: I said yes. And I think the reason we don't

552
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: unlock it is because we have given all of our

553
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 2: power to something outside of ourselves, and so we have

554
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 2: forgotten who we are. We have forgotten what it feels

555
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: like to be peaceful. We have forgotten how much of

556
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 2: a difference we can make in our families and our

557
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: communities because we've just run ourselves ragged, allowing the problems

558
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 2: of the world to bring us down. And that's not

559
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: to say there are problems. What I'm here to say

560
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: is we need you to be in your power and

561
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: in your peace so that we can better respond to

562
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 2: the problems in the world.

563
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 3: Isn't that society's fault because society makes us focus on

564
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 3: the external so much and not enough on the internal.

565
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 2: Well, I if you blame society, you give society the power.

566
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 2: I think that there are ways that we've been manipulated

567
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,439
Speaker 2: through social media. I think there are ways that we

568
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: have gotten lazy. I think it's very problematic that we've

569
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 2: got and away from the underpinnings that have really kept

570
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 2: people tied to community, whether it's church or its synagogue,

571
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 2: or it's a mosque, or it is volunteering in your community,

572
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 2: whether it is schools having more funding, whether it is

573
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 2: you know, people prioritizing a day of rest over running

574
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 2: your kids all over for sports. Like, we have forgotten

575
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 2: the things that actually matter in life, and we're now

576
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: spending six hours a day on the phone. And so

577
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 2: if you blame the phone, which yes, it's designed to

578
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 2: be addictive because the more time anybody spends on it,

579
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 2: the more money people make because you're seeing ads. That's

580
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 2: why it's addictive. It's just like a slot machine. And

581
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 2: so that's not your fault. But when you wake up

582
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 2: and recognize, wait a minute, do I actually want to

583
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 2: give that much power to that thing? Isn't the phone

584
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: supposed to be a tool that I can use for

585
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: self expression, communication and to make money? Why am I

586
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 2: the tool here? When you see that, then you take

587
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 2: your power back it. So it's sort of like this

588
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 2: thing like you can't actually get sober until you stop drinking.

589
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: You can't take control of your life until you stop

590
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 2: giving all the control to everything else.

591
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:11,919
Speaker 3: Let me do it.

592
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: I have a question. Yeah, in chapter five, you say

593
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: let them think bad thoughts about you, right. The question

594
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: with that is is when a lot of people, sometimes

595
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 1: especially on social media, right, nobody facts checks anymore, So

596
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: sometimes you might not care. You can let them think

597
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: what they want to think, but that could affect your

598
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: overall business.

599
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 2: Right.

600
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: And we see that a lot, right, because people don't

601
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: clear and people don't do homework, right, So if Lauren

602
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: says something about somebody, people might automatically think it's facts.

603
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: It's the truth. People don't do that homework. But that

604
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: could affect your reputation. That can affect your business. That

605
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: could affect the way that your kids, teachers look at you,

606
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 1: or business that comes around. So what do you do

607
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: in that example, because you still want to fix your

608
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 1: reputation right, It might not be that you care, but

609
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: you want your legacy to go how things are factual,

610
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: and that happens a lot, especially somebody and I'm sure

611
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: that's happened to you in what are you doing well?

612
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 2: So here this is a very tricky question because you're

613
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 2: talking about the pr and the media swirl that has

614
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: a life of its own, which, by the way, you're

615
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 2: never going to be able to control. And it's actually

616
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 2: getting worse with AI because AI, you like you guys,

617
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 2: watch this Google Like if you ever go and Google

618
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 2: yourself every couple days, the way AI talks about you

619
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: changes every day. And because we all are broadcasters and

620
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 2: we talk about all different types of topics. Like two

621
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 2: days ago, AI was reporting that I was divorced because

622
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: I was talking to somebody who was divorced on the podcast,

623
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 2: like it's not like I don't care, like I'm not divorced,

624
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 2: but you know what I mean, and so so it's

625
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: just kind of a joke on some regard and so

626
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: kind of understanding the ecosystem that you're in, because if

627
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 2: you've got a business risk issue, then you need to

628
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 2: make a very clear statement about what's truth and what's

629
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 2: not and then do not feed the fire, because the

630
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 2: more that you feed the fire, the more legitimacy you

631
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: give to this thing. And there are two kinds of

632
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: people in the world. There are people who are intent

633
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: on seeking the truth, and there are people who are

634
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 2: intent on misunderstanding and spreading gossip. There are people who

635
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 2: think about ideas and there are people who think about people.

636
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 2: There are people who are able to be intelligent and

637
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 2: rational and really look at a situation, and then there

638
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 2: are people who are intent on feeling powerful by stepping

639
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 2: on other people's heads. And that is just the world

640
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 2: we live in unfortunately. So pr is a little bit

641
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 2: different in personal, Like, I think it's really important to

642
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: understand who you are, whether you're dealing with rumors at

643
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: a middle school or you're dealing with rumors in your community,

644
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 2: or you've got somebody in your face family trash talking you.

645
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: In order to repair your reputation, it is better to

646
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: show than to tell. In my opinion, you prove the

647
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 2: truth based on how you show up in life, not

648
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: based on the words that come out of your mouth.

649
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: And if there is somebody spreading things about you, the

650
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: best way to handle it is to go directly to

651
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: that person and to ask them about it. You know,

652
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: I understand that you've been saying such and such about me,

653
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 2: which is not true. Can you help me understand why

654
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 2: you would be talking about me like this? Because people

655
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 2: who gossip don't ever think that anybody's ever going to

656
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 2: say anything because they're gossiping because they want to feel

657
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 2: more powerful than you when you have the ability to

658
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: let them say negative things. Okay, I just found out

659
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: about it. Let me choose is this something I want

660
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 2: to actually address or is this just data where I go? Okay,

661
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: now I know who this person is noted. Now I

662
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 2: adjust my time and energy and whether or not I

663
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: hang out with you. Because those kind of people, the

664
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 2: people that gossip about you, ultimately end up crumbling anyway,

665
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 2: because it always catches up with them, and.

666
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 3: I love that chapter. You know, to let them think

667
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 3: bad thoughts about you, and you say, stop allowing other

668
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 3: people's opinions to hold you back from pursuing what you

669
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 3: want and limiting the potential of your one, wide and

670
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 3: precious life. It goes back to what you said discouragement,

671
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,239
Speaker 3: because when you hear that things, you get discouraged, and

672
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: then you get down and you stop. But I truly

673
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 3: believe nothing can stop the destiny God has planned for

674
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 3: you unless you stop.

675
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're the only one that can stap yourself. I

676
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: believe that. Now. That does not mean there aren't very

677
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 2: real obstacles. That does not mean that you're not in debt.

678
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: It does not mean that you you know, if you

679
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: have a criminal record, You have a criminal record, and

680
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: there are going to be things that are in your

681
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 2: way and people that will discriminate against you based on that.

682
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 2: As a former public defender, I freaking hate that that

683
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 2: is true, because I do believe that we need to

684
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 2: have the kind of society that allows people to change.

685
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: I agree we have to, yes, and so there are

686
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 2: very real things in your way. That said, I believe

687
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: in your capacity to figure it out. I believe in

688
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 2: your capacity to tap into something that is bigger in

689
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: terms of your potential. And I think people believe that

690
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 2: too in themselves. Like you know, it's it's the reason

691
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 2: why when you hear an incredible sermon or you see

692
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: a movie and you get all choked up, it's not

693
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 2: because of what you're watching on the TV. It's because

694
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 2: it's resonating with something that is deeply true in here.

695
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: And I think that's why this let them theory has exploded.

696
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: It's because I'm reminding you of what you know to

697
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 2: be true about life and about yourself.

698
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: And if you feel it whenever you talk, whenever you talk, period,

699
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: but especially when you talk about to let them theory,

700
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 3: it is something internally that wakes up in me. It's

701
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 3: like just a fire, like, oh, it's just a reminder

702
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: of like you said, what you already know.

703
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a It's an incredible thing. And what I

704
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: also love about it is, you know, it's kind of

705
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 2: flying around social being because when you say let them,

706
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 2: you feel superior to other people. I'll let them go

707
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 2: away without me, let them walk out the door, let

708
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:09,720
Speaker 2: them cheat on me. But the let me part reminds

709
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 2: you that the only change in a relationship. It never

710
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: comes from other people. It always comes from you and

711
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 2: you changing how you show up. And so the irony

712
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: of this, it probably should be called the let me theory,

713
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 2: because it actually brings you closer to the people you

714
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: care about because instead of trying to change people, instead

715
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 2: of constantly being annoyed at your mom's mood or you know,

716
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: or thinking you know better than what your kids are

717
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 2: doing now and they're oh, people feel that judgment. And

718
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 2: so there is distance right now in your relationships, particularly

719
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: with your family, because we're judgy with our family. But

720
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 2: when you start to let them, you create this space

721
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 2: that is so awesome where you see your parents, or

722
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: you see your kids, or you see your brother and

723
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 2: sister as they are. And then it's on you to

724
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 2: how do I love this person as they are instead

725
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 2: of constantly wishing they'd be different.

726
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 4: That's how I was going to ask you, is how

727
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 4: do you figure that out? Because sometimes that creates the

728
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 4: distance too. When you can't figure that out, you're like,

729
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 4: I'd rather just not because you don't want to interact

730
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 4: and something goes wrong or you say something wrong or

731
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 4: you offend somebody.

732
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's a great question, and you have to

733
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 2: do it literally day by day. Like you get to

734
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 2: choose if somebody's in a bad mood and they're the

735
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: kind of person that gets very emotionally immature and they

736
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 2: pout and then you know, they kind of go silent

737
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 2: on you, you get to choose. Okay, I'm gonna let them

738
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 2: be annoyed about this thing. I'm gonna let them be

739
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: disappointed that I'm not gonna make it to the family

740
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: such and such thing. Okay. Well. One of the cool

741
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: things about really giving somebody the space to feel what

742
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 2: they feel is it made me realize disappointment's actually a

743
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 2: really good thing because if somebody's disappointed that you're not

744
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: coming home for the holidays, it just means they love you.

745
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,280
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you have to go. It just means

746
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 2: that they just really wish you were there. Same thing

747
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: with business. If you have a business partner and you

748
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: can't make it to something, if they're disappointed, that's a

749
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: good thing. Like what do you want your business? Parder

750
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: be like, oh, you can't make it, Thank God, I

751
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 2: can't stand that guy. No, Disappointment's great, but it doesn't

752
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: mean you have to take that feeling away by changing

753
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 2: what you're doing, and in that space you get to say,

754
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: what do I value? What do I need to do

755
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: for me? What kind of person am I? Am I

756
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 2: showing up because I feel guilty? Or am I showing

757
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: up because based on my values, family is important? So

758
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 2: I am actually going to bend over backwards ago Not

759
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 2: for them, I'm going because it says something about me

760
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 2: and what's important to me. So I think we've also

761
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 2: gotten to this point where relationships are so transactional. We

762
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 2: text somebody, we expect to text back, you know, we

763
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 2: do this, we expect you to do something back, and

764
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 2: so we're constantly waiting for the return. What if the

765
00:36:57,080 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 2: secret to relationships was actually being way more flexible and

766
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: just going what kind of person am I? Am I

767
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 2: the person that makes the plans? Am I the person

768
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 2: that reaches out? Not because I expect someone else to,

769
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 2: but just because that's the kind of person that I am.

770
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 2: And it's really shifted for me with friendship, this sense

771
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: of okay, am I in? Am I out? You know?

772
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 2: Are they a friend? Are they not? And you start

773
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 2: to realize there's so many more people in your life

774
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 2: than you realize that care about you. There's so many

775
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 2: people that are rooting for you when you start to

776
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 2: let other people live their lives and make their plans.

777
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 2: But if you're the kind of person that wants to

778
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: stay to connect it to people, you just reach out

779
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 2: just without expectation or return, you will be shocked at

780
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 2: how much more comes back to you when you're not

781
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,959
Speaker 2: gripping it so much and you're just doing it because

782
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 2: it makes you feel good to check in on people.

783
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: That's right.

784
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,840
Speaker 3: I want to go back to something else, because you

785
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 3: know you were a public defender. I know you did

786
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 3: a little bit of radio, but I know some people

787
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: hear this conversation because you mentioned being in debt a

788
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 3: lot eight hundred thousand dollars in debt.

789
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 2: That's a lot.

790
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 3: Some people have never seen eight hundred thousand dollars. So

791
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,439
Speaker 3: you had to have some times.

792
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 2: I didn't have eight hundred thousand dollars. I had a house, okay,

793
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 2: and we took out a home equity line. We then

794
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 2: and cash that sucker out. We took out a bazillion

795
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 2: credit cards. We had a little bit of savings and

796
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 2: we cashed that out. We cashed out a little bit

797
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,439
Speaker 2: of the kid's college fund, and we took a loan

798
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 2: on a car, so there was like that. And then

799
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 2: what happened is they started factoring, which is a I

800
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 2: mean predatory lending, which basically means every time they swipe

801
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 2: a credit card at a restaurant, they're charging interest toward it,

802
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 2: which was part of our guarantee. And then so it

803
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,439
Speaker 2: was that's not like we had that as a nest egg,

804
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 2: but you.

805
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,720
Speaker 3: Had to have some type of success though. Oh before yeah, well.

806
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 2: Well, I mean yeah, I mean I was a public

807
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 2: defender and then I worked for a large law firm,

808
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: and then in nineteen ninety nine I kind of got

809
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,439
Speaker 2: into that first dot com thing in Boston, and so yeah,

810
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 2: you know, we were in that stage of life, three

811
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 2: kids under the age of ten. I'm working, my husband's working,

812
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 2: We're making the ends meet.

813
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you just felt like, this isn't what I'm

814
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing.

815
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: Well, yes, what happened is in two thousand and eight,

816
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: I had tried to do something in the media business.

817
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 2: And it's a long complicated story, but I basically got

818
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: cast to be on a reality show that I was

819
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 2: going to host, where it was going to be like

820
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 2: an extreme business makeover show. And remember that move the

821
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: bus show, so they wanted to do that for businesses.

822
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: And by the time we went to shoot the show,

823
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 2: they had changed the show entirely and it was now

824
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 2: called Someone's Got to Go. And I was the host

825
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: of a show. Get this where people were going to

826
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 2: get fired on national television, on a reality show from

827
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: real jobs, and I wasn't firing them. You were voting

828
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: a colleague out. It was Survivor in an office place.

829
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: So we shot two episodes. It was a disgusting show.

830
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,760
Speaker 2: I was literally popping xanax because I was having panic

831
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: attacks the entire time. So I'm like, this is not

832
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 2: what I signed up for. The show gets tabled and

833
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 2: I got held in one of those non compete cons

834
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: track things, and I didn't have a job. And this

835
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: was right at the moment where my husband's first restaurant

836
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,720
Speaker 2: had done well. Why well, I mean they were doing okay,

837
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 2: you know, they were successful, they could pay their bills,

838
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 2: friends and family had invested, and then they were They

839
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 2: raised a little bit more money from friends and family

840
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: to open two more locations, and the whole thing imploded.

841
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 2: So now I'm unemployed. Friends and family have invested, they're

842
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 2: working their tails off to keep this thing afloat. We

843
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 2: both feel like we have royally screwed up our lives.

844
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 2: I feel like I've been a public defender. I've worked

845
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 2: in a law firm, I've worked at three different startups.

846
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 2: I've tried life in business coaching. Then I did this

847
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 2: show which I thought was going to be our meal ticket,

848
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 2: and now all of a sudden, I'm in a non compete.

849
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 2: I can't get a job. And some people would say, well,

850
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 2: just go back to the law. I'm like, do you

851
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 2: know when you are in that position where you think

852
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 2: you royally screwed up you have you do not have

853
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 2: any confidence? How do you go get a job when

854
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 2: you're like, I don't have any worth? And I got

855
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: to pretend that everything's okay because friends and family have

856
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: invested in this business and the doors are still open

857
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 2: and they're trying to save it. That was the backdrop

858
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: at the age of forty one, and you know, I think, yeah,

859
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 2: I'm a big visualizer, and you know I love vision

860
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 2: boards and that kind of stuff, but never in a

861
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 2: million years was the vision for my life. Okay, at

862
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 2: age forty let's make a vision board. I'm going to

863
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 2: paste an image of getting divorced and being bankrupt and alcoholism.

864
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 2: No people, but I'm like the Maserati and the beach shaft.

865
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 2: So when when your life takes a turn, you're like,

866
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 2: I didn't plan for this. It's surprising how you can

867
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 2: know what you should be doing, but all motivation to

868
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 2: do it's gone. And that's when I created that five

869
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: second role of the countdown five four three two one

870
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: to just get myself out of bed.

871
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 3: You know you were in the book you talk about

872
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: how you felt paralyzed by imposter syndrome, especially when you

873
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 3: were teaching. Yeah, the five second rule. I wonder what's

874
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 3: changed since then, Like, we'll gives you the confidence and

875
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 3: authority now to feel like you can go out here

876
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: and teach, to let.

877
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: Them do that's a great, great question. So you know

878
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: how well, first of impostor syndrome is deeply misunderstood. So

879
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome does not mean that you don't belong in

880
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: the room you're in. Imposter syndrome means you actually want

881
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: to be in the room you're in, and there's skills

882
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 2: or there's experience that you need to gain in order

883
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 2: to dominate in that room. Imposter syndrome is actually not

884
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:22,720
Speaker 2: self doubt. It's ambition.

885
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 4: And so explain that a bit because it's always been

886
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 4: said the other way.

887
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so if you really think about it, if

888
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 2: you walk into a room and you don't feel imposter syndrome,

889
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 2: it's because you don't want to be in that room.

890
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 2: You don't care what people think about you in that room.

891
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 2: If you walk into a room and you feel a

892
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 2: sense of imposter syndrome, it's because you care about what

893
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 2: people think about you in that room. It means your

894
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: ambition wants you to succeed in that room.

895
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 4: Oh, like push to stay sharp, correct, okay.

896
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 2: And also like, hey, I want to actually succeed around

897
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 2: people like this, which means what are the skills I need?

898
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 2: What's the experience I need to set myself up? This

899
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 2: is like a wave of your calling and your ambition,

900
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 2: Like I actually want to feel good in this room.

901
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: So it's not a sign that you don't belong there.

902
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: It's a sign like, hey, there's some work to do

903
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 2: and you can dominate in that room too. And so

904
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 2: to your question about how do I have the confidence

905
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 2: to do it? I think it's literally because of the

906
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 2: fifteen years of just walking into rooms and sharing what

907
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: was going on. And you know, once the five second

908
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 2: rules started to spread around on social media and people

909
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 2: would call me and say, hey, would you come talk

910
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 2: about this thing? And I would go they weren't paying me.

911
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 2: I mean I would stand at a brown bag lunch

912
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 2: twelve years ago and teaching somebody's office, you know, a

913
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 2: little real estate office in the break room with the fridge.

914
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: It's got the moldy food in it. Like that was

915
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 2: how I started and what I gain, what I started

916
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 2: to understand, And I think it explains a lot about

917
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 2: like why I am who I am is that I

918
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 2: were all the same. Everybody is dealing with the same stuff. Yes,

919
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 2: it's easier if you have more money and more resources,

920
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, everybody's got a

921
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 2: family member that they're worried about. Everybody has ambition they're

922
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 2: not tapping into. Everybody has things that they want to

923
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,280
Speaker 2: pursue in their life, and they're kind of letting themselves

924
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 2: down a little bit. Everybody struggles with a little bit

925
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 2: of uncertainty and anxiety at times. Everybody has hopes and

926
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 2: dreams and feels a little discouraged and overwhelmed. And when

927
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 2: you start at a baseline that people would love to thrive,

928
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 2: and people thrive when they can, and if they can't,

929
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 2: I believe it's because they're discouraged or there's some skill

930
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: building or some experience or you know, some mentorship that's missing.

931
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 2: That's it, but that you're built to thrive. And so

932
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 2: when you really start at that baseline, whether you're like,

933
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 2: you know, I make it a practice. By the way,

934
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 2: this is this is one thing that'll change your life

935
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 2: when you go into a public bath through two things.

936
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: I always leave the space better than when I found it.

937
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:11,839
Speaker 2: I always clean public bathroom. No no, no, literally literally, that's

938
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 2: why I don't go into that stall. But no, I

939
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 2: gotta because if somebody like destroy especially women, if somebody

940
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 2: destroys the seat, peas all over it and then they leave,

941
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:29,319
Speaker 2: that is a human being that is so disconnected from

942
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 2: the interconnection of the human experience. You are leaving that

943
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 2: for another person. And so making sure that you don't

944
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 2: leave your mess for another person, making sure that you

945
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 2: just kind of wipe down the counter. And then here's

946
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: the second thing. If there is a human being cleaning

947
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 2: that bathroom, please look at the AI and say thank

948
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 2: you Like that, right, there is a simple thing that

949
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,919
Speaker 2: will make you start to shake out of that woe

950
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 2: is me or that's stress or that overwhelm. Let them

951
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 2: know you appreciate and see what they're doing because it

952
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 2: changes who you are. And then you start to see

953
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 2: all day long that there are like you know, I

954
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:18,399
Speaker 2: can't look, I'm gonna cry, people are just walking around disconnected.

955
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 2: And the power of starting to be the one that

956
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: wakes people up. Hey you know, I always get to

957
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 2: know or hey, how's everybody doing? Like it's shocking how

958
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 2: we have gotten so far away from that sense of community.

959
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 2: And there's actually research around this. They call it either

960
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 2: weak ties. I call them warm connections. Those people that

961
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 2: you see in the building every day that you say

962
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 2: hello to the person that's walking the dog that you know,

963
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 2: know the name of the dog in your neighborhood. These

964
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,760
Speaker 2: relationships matter because they make you feel human again.

965
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: Like you said, it has to get back to community,

966
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,399
Speaker 1: has to be to wait at we raise our kids.

967
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: We have a six kids, but I have one kid, Jackson,

968
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: and he does that times fait and it's just something

969
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: that's taught, that's seen. You know, when we get off

970
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: an airplane, we think the pilot. Yes, you know, when

971
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: he plays basketball, he thinks the ref, He thanks the coach.

972
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: He looks them in the eye and you can see

973
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: from their reaction they don't get that that much. But

974
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: for him, he always says, I'm grateful because he didn't

975
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 1: have to do that right, And that comes from we

976
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,839
Speaker 1: have to be a community again and start teaching from

977
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: a young age so our young kids could teach their kids,

978
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: could teach their kids, could teach their kids. Because it's

979
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: kind of like a lost art mall.

980
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 3: You just fucked me up with something so similar too,

981
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 3: because I hate dirty bathrooms. I hate when I walk

982
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 3: in the bathroom if somebody leaves shit in the toilet,

983
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: if it's a public restroom and they leave the toilet

984
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 3: lineer around the stead, I'm like, how could you do that? Like,

985
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 3: don't you know somebody else is going to use this?

986
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 3: Even in my own house? You know, I got young kids,

987
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 3: so you're not too mad about it, But I'm just like, yo,

988
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 3: pay attention because there's other people that's using these bathrooms.

989
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 3: But you just explained it in such a way. Those

990
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,400
Speaker 3: people are so disconnected from the human experience. Yes, people.

991
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and like this is where let them comes

992
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 2: in that I think people can can't let them that again,

993
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 2: Hold on a second, it's it's the reason why people

994
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 2: are so disconnected is because the compounding stress and overwhelm

995
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:17,439
Speaker 2: that comes from allowing the world to beat you down

996
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 2: and the discouragement that compounds that is what is in

997
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:26,240
Speaker 2: people's way. I think we are innately built and wired

998
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 2: to be connected to one another. That is our nature.

999
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: We are innately wired to really like stay connected to ourselves.

1000
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: That is our nature, That is our intelligent design. It

1001
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 2: is woven into your DNA and the state of the

1002
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 2: world right now, I think is a reflection of the

1003
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 2: collective disconnect. You know, I really feel like there is

1004
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 2: this massive awakening that is building and that in life

1005
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 2: there is always this balance between the negativity and the

1006
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 2: overwhelm and the toxic stuff that's going on out in

1007
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: the world and in the headlines, and people then waking

1008
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 2: up and going I forgot what mattered. I forgot why

1009
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 2: this is important. I need to get to work. I

1010
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 2: need to stop whining and worrying and you know, just

1011
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 2: gaslighting myself that there's nothing I can do, and this

1012
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 2: is oh there's always something you can do. You have

1013
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 2: to wake up and recognize that it's not going to

1014
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,399
Speaker 2: happen out there, it's going to happen in here.

1015
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 4: When you feel the impact from what you're doing with

1016
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 4: your book, and to let them theory, like you just

1017
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 4: got emotional just not even just about your impact, but

1018
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 4: just talking about just change in the world. How does

1019
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 4: it make you feel, Like do you take a moment

1020
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 4: just of gratitude and be like, because I saw all

1021
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 4: the tattoos in the book, and I was like, that's

1022
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,760
Speaker 4: so fire. It's hard to make people like actually believe

1023
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 4: something that's not tangible.

1024
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 2: One of the things that you know, for me, I

1025
00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 2: spent so many years like hating myself and feeling like

1026
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 2: I was a really bad person. And when you get

1027
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 2: stuck in life, it's easy to think you're the only one.

1028
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: And so I'm just literally on a mission to share

1029
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 2: whatever I could share and give people access just like

1030
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 2: you guys, give people access to incredible thinkers and experts

1031
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 2: and resources. You know, your work is reaching some way

1032
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 2: halfway around the world that doesn't even have a toilet

1033
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 2: in their house, And how incredible is that? And if

1034
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 2: I can save anybody the headaches and the heartaches that

1035
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 2: I cause myself for the people that I care about,

1036
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: because I didn't know any better. I didn't know what

1037
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 2: the problem was. I didn't know how to change myself.

1038
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 2: I didn't know how to push through the emotion that

1039
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 2: is a life well lived. Why did you hate yourself though?

1040
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 2: Because you can't do anything about what you don't know.

1041
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we don't have time. I literally, like,

1042
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 2: from the amount of cheating I did when I was little,

1043
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 2: to the like the undiagnosed anxiety or the undiagnosed to

1044
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 2: SLEXI and ADHD and how that created tremendous anxiety, to

1045
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: the way that childhood trauma impacted me that I didn't

1046
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 2: even realize was impacting me, you know, and like it's

1047
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 2: just chronic. I just did not think I was a

1048
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 2: bad person. And there's a lot of people walking around

1049
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 2: that have a hundred times more negative thoughts than they

1050
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 2: do positive ones, And a lot of people develop a

1051
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 2: habit of being very self critical. It's never enough, like

1052
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 2: you're never gonna make it, like you always so stupid.

1053
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 2: Why did you do that? Either because that's how they

1054
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 2: were talked to when they were little, or because it's

1055
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 2: this like almost protective thing that if you beat yourself

1056
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 2: up first, you're going to catch it before other people do.

1057
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 2: And I got to a point, and this is an

1058
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: important thing. The only thing you need to make your

1059
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 2: life better is one decision. How I'm living my life

1060
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 2: right now and how it feels no longer works for me.

1061
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 2: That's all you need to know. If you can have

1062
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 2: the courage to say that to yourself, you now know

1063
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 2: you now have tipped the first domino because you've made

1064
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,800
Speaker 2: a decision that you want to change how your life feels.

1065
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 2: You made a decision that you want to change how

1066
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 2: it feels up here. And for me as a mom,

1067
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 2: like your kids absorb the way that you treat yourself.

1068
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 2: And so having two daughters that I started noticing, my god,

1069
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 2: why are these beautiful young women picking themselves apart? Well

1070
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 2: because I do? Why are they so hard on that?

1071
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 2: Because I was so hard on myself. That's how they

1072
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 2: learn it, And so I don't want them to do

1073
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 2: that to themselves. And you know, the thing I was

1074
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 2: going to share that's made a huge difference for me

1075
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 2: is that I keep the impact front and center. And

1076
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 2: so we send an email out five days a week.

1077
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 2: There's a person on our team whose job is to

1078
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: assemble all of the the things that people are saying

1079
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 2: all over the world about the books and the podcast,

1080
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:55,600
Speaker 2: not about Mel, but about what you learned, and I'll

1081
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 2: tell you it every day. There's twenty to thirty of them.

1082
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 2: And there was a person who talked about how he

1083
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 2: was a stepdad and the relationship ended and those step

1084
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 2: kids were his life and he didn't want to be

1085
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 2: here anymore. And somebody started to share the podcast with

1086
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 2: him and he would go and take a walk every

1087
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 2: morning and listen to the podcast, and it started give

1088
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 2: him a sense of hope. And now he uses the

1089
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 2: let them theory. This is a person that actually works

1090
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 2: in like a police operations control center. Never in a

1091
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 2: million years would I think this is somebody that's listening

1092
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 2: to the Mel Robbins podcast or listening to this kind

1093
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 2: of conversation. But it goes to prove that everybody wants

1094
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 2: to do well. Everybody wants to thrive, and you know

1095
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,520
Speaker 2: when you're not doing well, You know when you're not thriving.

1096
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 2: The problem for most of us is just kind of

1097
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 2: feeling like I don't think this could change. And the

1098
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 2: fact is, of course it can change. If you've ever

1099
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 2: been happy in your life, you can be happy again.

1100
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,480
Speaker 2: If you've ever been proud of yourself, you can be

1101
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 2: proud of yourself again. If you've ever forgiven somebody else,

1102
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 2: you can learn to forgive yourself.

1103
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 3: Mel, I know you've got to go through this. My

1104
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 3: last question, how do you receive comments from people who

1105
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 3: say Meil Robbinson's giving mental health advice with zero mental

1106
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 3: health professional training. She should let the professionals speak, let them.

1107
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. I'm not diagnosing anybody. I'm not.

1108
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:28,239
Speaker 2: I'm trying to make the intellectual and the academic and

1109
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 2: the scientific accessible to all of us. It is so

1110
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 2: important that if you are having an issue, you deserve

1111
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: to work with a mental health professional. I wish that

1112
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 2: the whole system would change so that it was accessible,

1113
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 2: so that like cause I think about mental health, I

1114
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 2: don't think about mental health like you're crazy. Mental health

1115
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,919
Speaker 2: is thriving. It's your ability to manage your stress. It's

1116
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 2: your ability to push through those moments where life is

1117
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 2: overwhelming and build yourself little you know life raft to

1118
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 2: keep yourself afloat. Mental health is like building a muscle

1119
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: and so I also think we hear that word and

1120
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 2: we think some like clinical depression. If you've got a

1121
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: big issue, go see a doctor for crying out loud.

1122
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 2: But we all deserve to have access to this information

1123
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 2: and access to the experts, and so I am absolutely

1124
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,920
Speaker 2: distilling down the world's best research, just like you are.

1125
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely sharing my experience, not because I think I

1126
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 2: know what's best for you, but because, by God, if

1127
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 2: I can save you or one of your kids or

1128
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 2: somebody you care about the problems that I've faced in

1129
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,480
Speaker 2: my life or that my kids have struggled through because

1130
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 2: I made dumb mistakes, that is fantastic. I happily will

1131
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,880
Speaker 2: take that criticism happily.

1132
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 3: And you know, also, God doesn't call to qualify it.

1133
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 3: He qualified the called, and you've been called mail Robin.

1134
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,839
Speaker 3: I feel that I motherfucking love you man.

1135
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 2: I love you too. Wow. That's right.

1136
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: Well, we appreciate you for joining us. It's been too long.

1137
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,240
Speaker 1: You got to come up more often.

1138
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely, busy guy got to come up to Boston.

1139
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 3: Oh, I loved it, I Bo, thank you for having

1140
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 3: me on your podcast.

1141
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 2: He's you are. You are literally a day away from

1142
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 2: being in the top ten most listened to episodes. Three

1143
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 2: point five million people have listened to that episode in

1144
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 2: the last four days. Wow, that was you were like

1145
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 2: church you you were channeling.

1146
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 3: But that was God because my wife literally gave me

1147
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 3: your book on a Friday and she was like, you

1148
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 3: need to read this right now because I was stressing

1149
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 3: about some people and she was like, you need to

1150
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 3: read this book right now. And I was like, oh,

1151
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 3: I'm going to see meil on on Wednesday. Literally, So

1152
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 3: that was just God. So I read the book and

1153
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 3: I got to sit with you, and now you're here

1154
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 3: again on the Breakfast Club, and I just feel full,

1155
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 3: thank you.

1156
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:44,400
Speaker 2: Thank you. I love your new studio, unbelievably cool.

1157
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,839
Speaker 1: All right, well it's Mel Robbins. It's the Breakfast Club.

1158
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: Good morning. Wake that ass up in the morning.

1159
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club.