1 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: Hi, Family Secrets. 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 2: Family. 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,880 Speaker 1: I hope as our calendar turns from summer to fall, 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: you're feeling refreshed, relaxed, invigorated for all that lies ahead. 5 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: I have a treat for you. We're sharing an episode 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: of the hit podcast. You probably think this story is 7 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: about you, which I binge listened to a few months 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: ago while doing one of my favorite new activities, sweating 9 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: it out in an infrared sauna. Great storytelling while doing 10 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 1: something good for you. What could be better? You probably 11 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: think the stories about you is about one woman's brave 12 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: searching excavation of her own marriage, her family history, and 13 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: her deepest self in order to ask and answer the 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: questions we always ask. What secrets have been kept from me? 15 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: What secrets am I keeping from others? And what secrets 16 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,279 Speaker 1: have I been keeping from myself? I think you'll love it. 17 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: Have a listen. Also, speaking of calendars, please mark yours 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: for the all new eleventh season of Family Secrets, which 19 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: drops on Thursday, November seventh. It's thanks to you that 20 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is Iheart's longest running series podcast. I'm thankful 21 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: and moved by the groundswell of response to Family Secrets 22 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 1: and grateful that you're sticking with me. The secrets they 23 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: just keep coming, and now I hope you enjoy. You 24 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: probably think this story is about you. 25 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 3: This podcast is marked explicit intentionally because some of the 26 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 3: topics may be difficult for some listeners. 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,919 Speaker 2: We've provided resources and more information in the show notes. 28 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, not everybody needs to know what they are. 29 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 5: No, no one will know. 30 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 4: Brittany tells everybody. Oh, I'll tell everybody. 31 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 6: I got to come up with a way to summary 32 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 6: it's my life like five words. I went into that 33 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 6: wanting the dream and ended up with a nightmare. But 34 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 6: I had the very best intentions. You probably think the 35 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 6: story is about you. I'm Brittany Yard and this story 36 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 6: is mine. I had been swiping and matching and going 37 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 6: on first dates sort of all of June. Navigating dating 38 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 6: apps can be challenging, constantly dodging the scammers and the 39 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 6: catfishers and the guys trying to sell me bitcoin. Canaan's 40 00:02:53,360 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 6: profile came up three different times. There was a lot 41 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 6: more thought around his profile than others. I would either 42 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 6: swipe laughter, swipe right, and it was a pretty easy decision. 43 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 6: He was one where I clicked on all the pictures, 44 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 6: read all the prompts. 45 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 2: For some reason, I was hesitant, but I was attracted. 46 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 6: And I'm not sure if it was a look in 47 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 6: his eyes or if it was something that I could sense. 48 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 6: I don't know if it was the mood, his dimples, 49 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 6: the prompts. There was a mischievous grin in his main 50 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 6: profile picture. I couldn't tell if it was like comedy 51 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 6: or something else. Something about that fourth time that I 52 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 6: saw him come through, I was like, Okay, fuck it, 53 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 6: so I swiped right. I went on a day within 54 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 6: two days of matching, and I at the time was 55 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 6: doing a walk for all my first dates. Canaan lived 56 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 6: in Tacoma and I was in Seattle. I ended up 57 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 6: going down to Koma to meet him because my best 58 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 6: friend lives down there, and I was like, we'll go 59 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 6: on a walk and then I can meet my best 60 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 6: friend for dinner, you know, sort of kill two birds 61 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 6: with one stone. Every time I go on a date, 62 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 6: I have to send her screenshots and like, this is 63 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 6: the guy I'm seeing, this is where we're meeting. I 64 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 6: will check in with you, you know, in an hour. 65 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 6: If not, like, come rescue me. I actually got there 66 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 6: early so that I could check out and see him arriving. 67 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,039 Speaker 6: Within thirty seconds of me hitting that curb, he was 68 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 6: behind me, tapping me on my shoulder. I turned around 69 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 6: and he said, can I interest you in some bitcoin? 70 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 6: Mischievous smile, dimples, and he went in. 71 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 2: For a hug. 72 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 6: He is this gorgeous man that has so much charisma, 73 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 6: very attractive. 74 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 2: He smelled amazing. 75 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 6: I don't know what he did to my olfactory senses. 76 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 6: So he's a dad and his son plays football. I 77 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 6: have that connection with him. My second youngest is a 78 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 6: football player, and so we had talked about how you 79 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 6: navigate teens and athletic sports, especially when they're trying to. 80 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: Go to college for football. 81 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 6: He had played football in college and he got kicked 82 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 6: off the team, and then he joined the Marines. He 83 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 6: had left the military at sixteen years to come home 84 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 6: and take care of his son. So we were about 85 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 6: halfway through our walk, and I usually like to ask 86 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 6: people that have kids what the relationship is with the exes, 87 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 6: because it's either crazy or not crazy. His ex wife 88 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 6: died by suicide and had been an addict. That's why 89 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 6: he was so involved in his son's life at this time, 90 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 6: because after she passed, he came in and took on 91 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 6: that role of you know, mother and father. It was 92 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 6: just one more thing that I felt connected to. I'm 93 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 6: not ready to share that story with him yet, and 94 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,239 Speaker 6: he said, you know, I'm sorry that I kill the mood, 95 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 6: and I said, no, it's your story. I had told 96 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 6: him that I had not been with anyone for a year, 97 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 6: that I had taken a year off. Canaan moved to 98 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 6: the Pacific Northwest in January of that year and had 99 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 6: gone on a couple of dates, but hadn't dated March 100 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 6: and had had a bad experience and it was the 101 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 6: only woman who's ever had to block. Finally, recently, his 102 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 6: sister in law, Tasha started this hinge dating account for 103 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 6: him because she was really worried about how lonely he was. 104 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 6: And he had told me, He's like, yeah, she'll text 105 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 6: me and be like you got a rose. You need 106 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 6: to get online and respond as if she was getting 107 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 6: the email notifications for his dating profile because the sister 108 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 6: in law and brother were so invested in finding him 109 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 6: his person because he was so alone. He talked about 110 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 6: how it was really hard for him with the gloomy weather, 111 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 6: and I remember thinking that I needed to get him 112 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 6: into red light therapy so that he would have enough 113 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 6: son and vitamin D to want to stay because now 114 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 6: that I had met him, I didn't want him leaving 115 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 6: the north West. The conversation kept getting better. We ended 116 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 6: up walking, I think for two and a half hours. 117 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 6: His job is working with people in need and helping 118 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 6: them find the support for their illness. He matches my 119 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 6: giving and caring nature all the aspects of my life. 120 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 6: He has that same energy for himself and for other people. 121 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 6: I had found somebody that I would want to have 122 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 6: a connection with. I had totally lost track of time 123 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 6: during our walk, and when I realized that I was 124 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 6: an hour late to meet my best friend Anna, I 125 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,719 Speaker 6: checked my phone and I had missed a bunch of 126 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 6: her text messages. 127 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,479 Speaker 2: She's like, where are you? 128 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm okay, I'm going to be 129 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 6: late for dinner, but I can't wait to get there 130 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 6: because I think I'm going to let this guy fuck 131 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 6: me up. Like I don't know what's going to happen, 132 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 6: but I'm totally going to let him fuck me up. 133 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 5: My name is Anna Love. I am Brittany's best friend 134 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 5: of twenty eight years. I remember being miffed that your 135 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 5: date with this guy had delayed our time at the Matador. 136 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 5: That's primary like kind of what I recall from that day, 137 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 5: you know, being very excited for you obviously that you 138 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 5: had found somebody that you, you know, really connected with, 139 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 5: and if that's the delay, then super, But also like. 140 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 2: Come on, we have taking have tacos to. 141 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 5: Eat and tequila and or rum to drink, so let's 142 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 5: get going. You know, I remember being very excited for 143 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 5: you that you had found somebody that you hit it 144 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 5: off with. The key things that I sort of remember 145 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 5: was him commenting on your Nike Cortes, you know, and 146 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,719 Speaker 5: being you know, kind of intrigued by that. 147 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 6: We were already planning our next date. I texted him, 148 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 6: do me a favor and tell Tasha thanks for me. 149 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 6: Hopefully I spilled that right. 150 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 3: Trust me, they're thinking you as well, them being kindle 151 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 3: and Tasha tas Ya. 152 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 4: Oh, that's much prettier than I spelled it. 153 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 3: I think I'm just going to flood you with a 154 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 3: bunch of random facts about me. Oh, speaking of which, 155 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 3: fun fact number one, All of my bakeware and tupaware 156 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 3: are the results of me not returning it to the 157 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 3: original owners. 158 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 4: What do you want to know about me or is 159 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 4: lasagna the whole goal? 160 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 3: It's really important for me to ensure you're comfortable leaving 161 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 3: your lasagna pan with me for a few weeks. 162 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 4: A few weeks red Flag. 163 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 6: On our second date, he was talking to me about 164 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 6: how they wanted him to come to his son's school 165 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 6: and do some video recording. It was National Suicide Prevention Month, 166 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 6: and because his son's mom had died by suicide, they 167 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 6: wanted him to come and sort of tell this story. 168 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 6: And he had talked about how he didn't want to 169 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 6: go and do it because he felt like he wasn't 170 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 6: a good parent for the first part of his son's 171 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 6: life because he was in the military and always gone, 172 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 6: And then he didn't really step into a full parenting 173 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 6: role until his son's mom passed, and that's when he 174 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 6: stepped in and sort of focused on his son and 175 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:44,199 Speaker 6: being the father that he kind of always wanted to be. 176 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 6: As we were talking about this, I told him that 177 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 6: it sounded like impostor syndrome. Do you feel like an 178 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 6: impostor coming in being this amazing dad now and like 179 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 6: you don't deserve to have that recognition because you weren't 180 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 6: there beginning, and he was like, that's exactly what it 181 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 6: feels like, Like I don't want to bring attention to 182 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 6: myself because I feel like an impostor. There's so many 183 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 6: times in my life where I've felt like I'm faking 184 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 6: it until I make it, like I don't really know 185 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 6: what I'm doing, but I just keep trying, or I 186 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 6: just keep pushing through. And there are times when I 187 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 6: feel like an impostor, like I'm not meant to be 188 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 6: in a situation. And so I actually didn't tell him 189 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 6: any of that. I just let him tell his story. 190 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 6: There was nothing like spectacular about what we were doing, 191 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 6: but on these walks we got into really vulnerable conversations 192 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 6: and I feel more connected to this person that I've 193 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 6: had two dates with that and I did with my 194 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 6: ex husband because he was sharing so many stories and vulnerable. 195 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 2: Bits about his life and. 196 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 6: It was all from the place of and I learned 197 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 6: something from it, and I've grown and I want to 198 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 6: be a better person, or I've decided I've made the 199 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 6: choice to move forward instead of looking back. 200 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 4: Were you ever or are you a cheater? 201 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 3: I wasn't a cheater, but I was a guy who 202 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 3: used a fast tempo of the military to not ever 203 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:41,199 Speaker 3: get into anything serious now here. I am at forty 204 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 3: and I haven't had those type of experiences, which sucks. 205 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 3: I perfected keeping people away, and now that I wouldn't 206 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 3: mind the closeness. I don't know what that even looks like, 207 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 3: so I stumble awkwardly through it and learned not to 208 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 3: press it. It'll happen when it's supposed to. 209 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 6: Thank you for being open and willing to share with me. 210 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 6: I don't cheat. It's a huge value of mine. I 211 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 6: am loyal to fault at times. I've sacrificed a lot 212 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,079 Speaker 6: of me in the past to keep another person going. 213 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 6: I am not settling for anything less than a partner 214 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 6: that I can trust with my whole. Last self, I 215 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 6: was already starting to write and sort of remember different 216 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 6: parts about the date and conversations we were having because 217 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 6: I wanted to put them on paper. I wanted to 218 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 6: remember the moments, but I also I wanted a love 219 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 6: story from the first date on. I was falling in 220 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 6: love with that love story and I wanted to share it. 221 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 6: I like to write down all the experiences in my life, 222 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 6: and I talked to Canaan about us writing this book 223 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 6: together to share our love story, and this is his 224 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 6: first chapter. 225 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 3: Babe, sorry it took so long today it was a 226 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 3: shorter day, and honestly, it's the first day in two 227 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 3: weeks where I didn't have something. 228 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 4: Else after work. It feels good. 229 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 3: Being able to pour that energy into you because you 230 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 3: do the same for me. I miss you every day. 231 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 3: Enjoy and don't judge my writing. Fireworks, sparklers, explosions near 232 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 3: and far. These are common to the celebration of the 233 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 3: fourth of July, but does not even sundown. And she's 234 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 3: star spangled, banning my shit. 235 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 4: He grinned and skipped across the street. 236 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 3: He was headed for the second day with her in 237 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 3: a span of a few days. Things are escalating quickly, 238 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 3: and he's here for it. She was unlike anyone he's 239 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 3: ever met, Seductive, mysterious, assertive, passionate, but tranquil, all wrapped 240 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 3: into one person. What kind of Pacific Northwest sorcery is this? 241 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 3: She's aware, she's educated, she's funny, she's well. 242 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 4: She's here. 243 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 3: As he sneaks up behind her while she glares out 244 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 3: at the sound as they stepped off in pursuit of 245 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 3: a magical conversation over another ten thousand steps. Damn, I 246 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 3: want to co parent a plant with this woman. 247 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 2: Play it cool. 248 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 3: We both spot an empty bench facing our version of 249 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 3: the Mona Lisa, Yeah, you guessed it. 250 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 7: Water. 251 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 3: We sat quietly as she started to dump it all 252 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 3: and I mean all the hesitations in her voice hovered 253 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: over him like a cumulus cloud or whichever one brings 254 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 3: is those torrential downpours. Two and a half hours passed 255 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 3: by so quickly he walked her to her vehicle like 256 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:07,400 Speaker 3: a gentleman should another skipped heartbeat. Of course, she reversed 257 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 3: into the parking stall. Who is this woman? They start 258 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,000 Speaker 3: making out again, without a care in the world of 259 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 3: who's around. They both jumped and shuffled quickly, as unknowingly 260 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 3: the impromptu makeout session blocked the adjacent car from leaving. 261 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 3: They both giggled, and without hesitation, in a soft voice, 262 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 3: she said, oops, sorry, this is dating ap forty. They laughed, 263 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 3: and he dived in once more for a departing kiss 264 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 3: on her freckles. Yes, we are definitely going to parent 265 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 3: a plant, he thought as he drove away. 266 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 6: So I have freckles everywhere. From sort of the beginning, 267 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 6: he just started calling me freckles, and so many times 268 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 6: in text messages it was always freckles this, or can't 269 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 6: wait to kiss all your freckles. When somebody just calls 270 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 6: you baby or babe or whatever, it's adorable, but it's 271 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 6: very generic. And so for Canaan to say good night, freckles, 272 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 6: it really it hit because that's what I look like. 273 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 6: Canaan had an incredible way of making me feel comfortable 274 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 6: in my skin. There were no insecurities that I had 275 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 6: with myself when I was with him. It didn't matter 276 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 6: that I had had kids or that maybe my body 277 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 6: wasn't perfect. There was no shame that I carried in 278 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 6: myself when I was with him. I had decided to 279 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 6: introduce Canaan to my friends and my daughter Brianna. We 280 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 6: had decided to go to this concert. It felt like 281 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 6: the right time to see if he could handle the group. 282 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,479 Speaker 6: During the concert, it was all outdoor. We were on 283 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 6: large picnic benches, and Caanan and I were on the 284 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 6: same side. I don't normally bring guys i'm dating around 285 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 6: in the friendship circle unless I think that they can 286 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 6: survive all of all of us, you know, and a 287 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 6: lot of it is that we have all been friends 288 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 6: for over twenty years. Here's what my best friend Anna thought. 289 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 5: Well, I went in expecting to get initial impressions, and I, 290 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 5: you know, sort of tasked Francisco with his gathering of 291 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 5: information because he's a pretty good judge of character and 292 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,199 Speaker 5: also loves you very much and wants to see the 293 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 5: best for you. 294 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 2: Francisco is another longtime friend of mine. 295 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 5: So I came in kind of I just wanted to 296 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 5: sort of gauge if he thought you were as amazing 297 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 5: as we all think you are, and you know, and 298 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 5: if he then deserved to be in your presence. He's 299 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 5: very handsome, very good looking guy, presents really well, and 300 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 5: I thought, how amazing for my best friend to find 301 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 5: somebody that she finds so physically attractive and mentally attractive 302 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:20,200 Speaker 5: and emotionally attractive. He was very intrigued by you, asking 303 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 5: me questions about what it was that he needed to 304 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 5: do to remain in your good graces, and I basically 305 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 5: told him, you know, she's amazing, and you're right for 306 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 5: wanting to stay in her good graces. 307 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 6: I was sitting in between his legs and he had 308 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 6: his arms around me the entire time. Other than a 309 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 6: couple trips to the bathroom. We were sitting together on 310 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 6: the picnic bench, smashed together with his arms around me. 311 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,680 Speaker 6: I had passed him a note. A lot of it 312 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 6: was him like whispering in my ear. Here's Brianna. 313 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 7: I am Brittany's first and most important daughter. Well only, 314 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 7: I guess, so I'll take that. So you met him 315 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 7: essentially on our like fourth date. It was one of 316 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 7: the first times I'd seen you be more touchy feely 317 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 7: with someone both or really in public or in front 318 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 7: of me. I feel like we're family's not a huge 319 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 7: PDA family really in general kind of at any level, 320 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 7: we don't that's just not happening. It wasn't even anything crazy, 321 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 7: but like kind of just constantly in contact with each other, 322 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 7: Like there you were leaning on him a lot, or 323 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 7: like arms around, diddly laugh, cute s eyes. It was 324 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 7: definitely the first time that i'd seen kind of more 325 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 7: of the like physical contact in like in public. But 326 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,440 Speaker 7: to really be like out at a bar and kind 327 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 7: of see you doing that was the biggest thing that 328 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,440 Speaker 7: I noticed. Just attractive Die, They're having a good time 329 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,679 Speaker 7: over there, Like this's all seems like good vibes. I 330 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,640 Speaker 7: feel like especially coming out of your divorce and this 331 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 7: is your first time dating. It was just like, oh, 332 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 7: this is like, yeah, you're enjoying yourself. 333 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 2: If you're having a good time. I might have then 334 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 2: I was done and smoked a lot that day. So 335 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 2: there are some of that days. It's a little just 336 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 2: a little fuzzy for me. 337 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 5: He seemed, you know, for all purposes, to be like 338 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 5: a really upstanding guy. Seemed very charismatic and very much 339 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 5: enamored with Brittany, which you know, made sense to me, 340 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:25,120 Speaker 5: like why wouldn't. 341 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 2: He be. 342 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,639 Speaker 6: May Beach House is my happy place. We decided to 343 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 6: go out for the weekend. It is where I have 344 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 6: spent the last twenty five summers and as much time 345 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 6: as I possibly can the rest of the year. 346 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 2: It is just this beautiful. 347 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 6: Saltwater canal that is lined with beach houses and fresh 348 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 6: oysters and clams. I went out the day before and 349 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 6: he came out after work on Friday, and we spent 350 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 6: the weekend out there. But we had made plans to 351 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 6: go to the drive in because he had never been. 352 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 6: I did the whole back of the truck, mattress, snacks 353 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 6: and blankets and you know, all of that stuff. 354 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 2: I found afford to make exceptions. 355 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,719 Speaker 3: I mean, once word leaks out that the pirate has 356 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 3: gone soft, people begin to disobey with them. 357 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 2: It's nothing but work, work, work, all the time. You 358 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 2: mock my pain life. 359 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 6: I'm pretty sure I fell asleep because it's so cozy 360 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 6: and comfortable to be in the back of a truck, 361 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,160 Speaker 6: cuddled up to this amazing man. 362 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,880 Speaker 7: Please, please, I need to live. 363 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 3: It was the police that caught my memory. I asked 364 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 3: him what was so important for him, true love, you replied. 365 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 6: I think he was insecure about his ability to have 366 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,200 Speaker 6: a solid relationship because he didn't feel like he had 367 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 6: had one before. He said, I am so terrified that 368 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 6: you are going to find out about how much of 369 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 6: a jerk I used to be, and you're not going 370 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 6: to want to be with me anymore. He said, I've 371 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 6: worked so hard to not be that person anymore. 372 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 2: There was a story where. 373 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 6: He met a woman at a bar and took her 374 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,479 Speaker 6: back to his brother's house, trying to pass off his 375 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 6: brother's house as his own. But the woman actually knew 376 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 6: his sister in law, so she knew that it wasn't 377 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 6: his house, but he still hooked up with her. When 378 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 6: he looked me in the eyes, and I could see 379 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 6: the fear of rejection or maybe not seeing him for 380 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 6: who he was today. I told him that I am 381 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 6: with who he is now, that you know, what's happened 382 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 6: in the past doesn't matter, and the man that I 383 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 6: want to be with is the one that is standing 384 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 6: in front of me now. We both felt like we 385 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,920 Speaker 6: had finally found the person that we wanted to be with, 386 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 6: and that we were in places in our lives where 387 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,640 Speaker 6: we were able to be open and vulnerable with each 388 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 6: other and really get rid of the bullshit that came 389 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 6: with our past lives and the baggage, and just focus 390 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,919 Speaker 6: on who we were to each other in that moment. 391 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 6: Moving forward, out at the beach House, I had recently 392 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 6: purchased the property across the street and it was a 393 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 6: like a lot of acreage, and my intent was to 394 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:15,080 Speaker 6: create an event space and sort of this campground area. 395 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 6: After we had gone there, he always talked about being 396 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 6: my park ranger. That he wanted a little booth at 397 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 6: the front and he would just sit in there, and 398 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,120 Speaker 6: you know, he. 399 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: Was going to be my park ranger. 400 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 6: So Canaan and I grew so close in five months, 401 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 6: and I couldn't believe that we had spent almost a 402 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 6: half a year together. We were talking about all of 403 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 6: the things that we were going to do when football 404 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 6: season stopped and we had more time. I got tickets 405 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 6: to la for Brianna, Anna and I and decided that 406 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 6: Canaan should come and meet more of my family spend 407 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 6: time with us, so that he could feel comfortable stepping 408 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 6: into this role as my new park ranger. We got 409 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:08,479 Speaker 6: on the plane, is Your Captain, and he reached into 410 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 6: his carry on bag and pulled out this book that 411 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 6: he gave to me. And this book was cartoon characters 412 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,919 Speaker 6: of him and I on the dates and adventures that 413 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,440 Speaker 6: we had been on over the last five months. On 414 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 6: one of the pages, it was a picture of me 415 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 6: and him lying in bed, and he said, I love 416 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 6: how romantic you are here, everything I ever dreamt of. 417 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,399 Speaker 6: And my response was, well, let's just hope we're really 418 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 6: not heavily medicated in an Essayan asylum. That I had 419 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 6: made that comment one time in bed. The very last 420 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,919 Speaker 6: page of the book was this book lists just a 421 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 6: few of the reasons why I didn't sell you Bitcoin. 422 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 6: I can't wait to spend my life discovering more and 423 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 6: more reasons to love you. Here's how my best friend 424 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 6: Anna described it. 425 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 5: I think that anybody putting forth the type of effort 426 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 5: that you put forth into a relationship, because you make 427 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 5: everybody feel very special. So I think for you, that 428 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 5: book was like somebody is putting forth the effort into 429 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 5: me that I put into everybody else. 430 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 6: It's such a simple thing, a moment at some point 431 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,400 Speaker 6: three weeks before to plan it and to do it. 432 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 6: So that was the start of our trip, which was amazing, 433 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 6: and then the show. We had a great time at 434 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 6: the show. What was it like traveling with us and 435 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 6: that whole experience. 436 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 5: That experience, it was pretty awesome. I finally got to 437 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 5: spend some time with him and actually engage and find 438 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 5: out who he was. He talked about his career path, 439 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 5: which I found to be very impressive. It was like 440 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 5: really amazing, you know, the work that he was doing 441 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 5: and why he was doing it. So I think that 442 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 5: the sort of the initial questions started to arise when 443 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 5: your cousin Greg started asking questions at dinner. 444 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 6: And we're at this great spot in Manhattan Beach where 445 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,680 Speaker 6: you just sort of order small dishes. We had like 446 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 6: twenty different overabundance school. Greg is ordering, Yes, that's what's 447 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 6: going to happen. Greg is my dad's age there cousins. 448 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 6: I frequently go to La just to stay for a 449 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 6: couple of days at his place, and we go to 450 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 6: dinner and we spend a lot of time together talking. 451 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 6: His opinion matters so much on who I connect with 452 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 6: and who I bring around, especially after the two failed marriages. 453 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 6: We were at one of those long tables with bench 454 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 6: like seating and Greg, Brianna and Anna were on one 455 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 6: side and Canaan and I were on. 456 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 2: The other, as we usually did. 457 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 6: We were sitting as close as we could to each other, 458 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:07,000 Speaker 6: thigh to thigh, and he had his phone in his 459 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 6: pocket and it was vibrating constantly, notifications, just constantly. And 460 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 6: I understand being polite and not pulling your phone out 461 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 6: at dinner and like whatever, but we have children, and 462 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 6: when your phone goes off NonStop, like you check at 463 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 6: some point. At one point he excused himself and went 464 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 6: to the bathroom. In my brain, I was like, he's 465 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 6: checking his phone. Something's off. Didn't say anything. And then 466 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 6: later that night we were on Greg's patio and I 467 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 6: remember looking over at the two of them talking and 468 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 6: initially it's like, Oh, I'm so glad Greg is really 469 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 6: important to me close to me. 470 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 5: And then Greg asking more questions, and there were some 471 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 5: questions that came up where we were sort of shooting 472 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 5: looks at each other across the table, like, well, that's 473 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 5: different than anything that I've heard you tell me before. 474 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 6: He brought up his time in the military, and then 475 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 6: Greg just is Greg, and he dives deep into whoever 476 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 6: he's talking to. He really tries to get to know people. 477 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 6: So he was asking him questions about his time in 478 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:28,680 Speaker 6: the military, why he left his work, about his ex wife, 479 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 6: and it's really for Greg about getting to know somebody closely. 480 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 6: Canaan fell into that conversation so comfortably with Greg that 481 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 6: we ended up talking for a couple hours that night. 482 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 6: My daughter Brie remembered the details and. 483 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 7: It got into more of the specifics of her dying 484 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 7: and the drug abuse, and Greg was doing the light 485 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 7: oh if this is too much. It was dating into 486 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 7: light some pretty light intense details about like going through 487 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 7: addiction and hating to deal with that and deal with 488 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 7: that with his son around her addiction. I mean, there 489 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 7: was a lot of It was a long time that 490 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 7: we were talking about it, they were descriptive stories, like 491 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 7: there was a lot of depth to it. I mean, 492 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 7: I think we were in the living room talking for 493 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 7: like another hour or two after dinner, and I remember 494 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,560 Speaker 7: feeling like it was heavy and feeling like it was intense. 495 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 7: I think I was jumping in and talked to write 496 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 7: about it too, just I mean, that's that's why my 497 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 7: relationship ended previously, was drug abuse and use and kind 498 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 7: of things around that. So I remember us stating to 499 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 7: really a deep, kind of personal level about those issues. 500 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 6: The story that Canaan was telling in that moment was 501 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 6: not the same story that I had heard before. The 502 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 6: details of the story that he was telling were different 503 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 6: than he had told me previously, and it was similar 504 00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 6: enough that it made sense, But I also started questioning 505 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 6: the story he told me, or which story do I believe. 506 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 6: I remember watching Canaan and Greg talking, and Canaan's everything 507 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 6: started to change, how he was sitting, how he was 508 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 6: crossing his legs, his tone in his voice, and he 509 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 6: started mirroring Greg. And it was incredible to watch, and 510 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 6: it didn't make any sense to me because it wasn't 511 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 6: how he had ever talked to me, I had never 512 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 6: seen this side of him that with the phone and 513 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 6: sort of some of the other stuff was for sure, 514 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 6: the first time that I really started questioning all of 515 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 6: it that entire trip was when he just unraveled. 516 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 2: You probably think The Stories About You is a production 517 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,480 Speaker 2: of Large Media. That's La r J Media. Our executive 518 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 2: producer is Britney Ard. Our showrunner is Sid Gladou. Creative 519 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 2: direction by Tina nol. Our associate producer is Kareem Kiltau. 520 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,320 Speaker 2: Sound engineering by Chris Young and Sean Simmons. Graphic design 521 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 2: by Nigella Shama, opening theme by youth Star, and miscellaneous. 522 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,839 Speaker 2: If you want to know more about Britt, follow her 523 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 2: on social media. You can find her at Britney dot 524 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 2: Ard on all platforms. If you like what we're doing, 525 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 2: don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening 526 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 2: to this podcast right now, and also give us a 527 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 2: rate or review on Apple Podcast or Spotify